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Sustainable Parenting | The kind and firm solution for resilient kids and dependable calm.
For cycle-breaking parents who still face battles at bedtime and beyond, Sustainable Parenting teaches tools that actually change behavior when gentle parenting doesn't work.
If your 6-year-old ignores you, your toddler screams over a broken banana, and bedtime still ends in tears—it’s not you, it’s the gentle parenting advice that’s failing you.
Research shows 1 in 3 parents who try gentle parenting still end the day begging kids to listen and blaming themselves when the scripts don’t stop the tantrums. So unlike other podcasts that only tell you to “stay calm” or “validate feelings” while your toddler is throwing dinosaurs at your head, here you’ll get strategies to set limits kids respect without crushing their spirit so they grow into kind, confident humans, and you finally feel like the calm, in-control parent you want to be.
I’m Flora McCormick—a counselor, parenting coach, and mom of two. After 20 years helping families worldwide, I’ve helped thousands of parents raise confident kids while practicing parenting without yelling or shame. Parenting will always have hard moments, but raising respectful, emotionally healthy kids doesn’t have to be a constant battle.
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Sustainable Parenting | The kind and firm solution for resilient kids and dependable calm.
139. Rethinking Devices: Why Less Screen Time Today Builds Calmer Kids Tomorrow
Screens often show up as gifts—but they come with big questions. In this episode, we talk honestly about kids’ tech, family values, and how to decrease those overwhelming tantrums over tech.
If you’re focused on raising confident kids while keeping tech in its place, this episode will support you. If you have struggled to know where to set boundaries on tech, this will give you those clear guardrails.
By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:
- Why boredom supports creativity and listening (how to get kids to listen without more rules)
- What’s happening in the brain when games and apps rely on constant rewards
- How kind and firm parenting reduces screen-related power struggles
- Why not all screens are equal—and what to watch out for
- How positive discipline and clear limits protect sleep, mood, and attention
Need SCREEN-FREE ideas? We got you! 👇🏼
https://courses.sustainableparenting.com/products/digital_downloads/screenfreeFun
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✨Black Friday Savings: The Calm Cooperation Toolkit & Emotional Resilience Toolkit (BIG SAVINGS):
✨Schedule a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting, so we can answer any questions you may have. Together, we'll make a plan for your best next steps to have more calm & confidence in parenting - while having kids that listen!:)
✨NEW✨ pdfs and short video lessons on Respect, Bedtimes, Power Struggles and More: ON ETSY!
✨ Download the FREE pdf. on getting kids to listen, for strategies that take you out of the "gentle mom - monster mom" cycle, with effective positive parenting strategies.
✨ Sign up for an upcoming LIVE ONLINE workshop with Flora, or purchase a past replay: https://sustainableparenting.com/workshop where you get 30 min. of learning and 30 min. of LIVE Q & A time, with replays sent afterwards.
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Hey friend, the holiday season is here, and wish lists, of course, probably include a lot of technology: iPhones, Apple Watches, video games, and tablets. And let me tell you, these are some of the top things that I am paid to help parents overcome. Meaning, they spend money on these amazing devices and then they end up spending money on a coach to help work through all of the battles that arise from those devices. So let me save you the trouble and give you some of my top tips today in our episode about technology and the holidays in gifting. Hey friend, welcome back to the Sustainable Parenting Podcast, where we bridge the gap between overly gentle parenting and overly harsh discipline so that you finally have the joy and ease you've been missing. When you are parenting with kindness and firmness at the same time, ugh, parenting finally feels sustainable. You have dependable calm and resilience built in your child. I'm your host, Flora McCormick, licensed therapist, parenting coach, and I'm so glad you're here. First of all, let's talk about why this is challenging. Technology is everywhere, it's all around us, and it's very easy to get swept up in everyone else has it, my kid really wants it, I don't want them to feel left out. And 100% I hear that, especially as kids get older, it is important that they not feel excluded or ostracized in some way for not being able to keep up. Although I want to be honest that I hear a lot more of keeping up with the Joneses than really, frankly, plain keeping up. Meaning it's usually a little more about won't he not feel as cool or something like that. And so I want us to keep to our values. What really matters here, friend? If my child is going to be teased a little bit, is that something that I'm going to say, I'd rather they have this device and not get teased? Or do I want to equip them to manage the teasing situation and know how to confidently be themselves? Similarly, if the drive to get into more technology is about your kids being bored or not being happy or able to entertain without devices, ooh, that's another deep one, friend. I want to reflect with you and pause to say, oh, this is one of the most common areas where I see people creating their own worst enemy that they are then battling against. Meaning, many parents who come to me saying, Oh, it's just a battle every time I turn off the iPad, and yet he won't be happy unless he's on it. There's no other way. He will just like whine and complain and drag and pick on his sister unless he's on that thing. But I find these things affecting each other. The more you're giving technology, the more that's their main way to entertain, the more they are unable to entertain without it. The more their brains are fried and overly saturated with stimulation, so that they are more likely to be emotionally dysregulated when it's turned off or they don't have it. Friends, let's be really, really real about this. Technology, as simple as games that are on an iPad and seem quote, educational all the way up, certainly through social media and even texting, is designed to keep your child's attention, to keep them addicted to it. Like legit, they are not designed to just be helpful. They are designed to addict the child to that thing. So let's reframe some questions. Instead of just, is this important for my child to keep up with others? Or is this something I want to keep them entertained? Let's talk about is this something that's going to create more problems for us? So many of technology items really often do, my friend. They create more problems than help the problems. So think about your child. A, are they having trouble entertaining without technology? Let's not give them more. This is actually an indication they need less. These are families where I am seeing people take dramatic um breaks from technology and seeing dramatic positive results. So consider that option. You thought you needed to lean more into it? Actually, what could it look like to lean away? Just something to consider. Another question to ask yourself is am I noticing that my child is having really elevated emotions a lot? Well, that often can be because of the addiction cycle of adrenaline rush that they get when they're on games or even getting the ping of responses from people who are texting them, or the reward of prizes gained in educational um games. So if we are seeing that, know that we need to dramatically lessen or even remove certain types of technology. Here's what we find are the more, here's what we find are the least damaging forms of technology TV and movies. Watching a show as a family or watching a movie as a family or kids with siblings or kids on their own, see stories, see resolutions of challenges, and see examples of overcoming obstacles or things like that. No gaming, no YouTube videos, or most YouTube videos do that for a child. And so if you're going to consider any type of technology, that is what I would most recommend. And if one last question is, how do I keep get in touch more with my child or be able to coordinate with them plans and have them have independence of skiing or walking to school on their own or being at a sport event where they get a ride home with a friend's parent? There are answers that are not as invasive. One of my favorites, and I'm not being sponsored by them or anything, is the Fitbit ace, which is a watch where the kids can text with you, their parents, and any other adult that you put on that device. They're not able to communicate with other friends or peers, and they are not able to be, you know, um on any sort of apps because it doesn't have that technology available. So, friend, here we are. This is just my little PSA. Real quick tip if you are considering technology as a way to keep your kid entertained or a way to be able to have them keep up with others, or you simply are thinking that it's helpful for them. I gotta tell you, as a parenting coach of over 20 years, it is one of the top things that I see harming relationships, brains, and certainly boundaries. Makes it very hard to um hold boundaries around these things if they get into the slippery slope of having more than they're really capable of managing. And the younger they are and the higher level of technology they have, the more that is really a conflict. How do you tell your child that you're wanting to simplify or say no to devices? I want to offer you a script. This device is something that is a tool, not a toy. And so when your brain is ready for that tool, we absolutely will get it for you. And for now, we want to focus on other types of toys. Getting outside, you know, the sport activities that we pay for, or extracurriculars, things like that. And friend, if you're like, how else do I entertain this kid? Then it's winter, it's a hard time. I have a solution for you. I have an anti-technology options uh list that I am happy to share with you, and I'll put the link in this show description so you can easily grab it and have that resource. There are games that you can play, there are little checklists of things to see if how many of these could we do over the holiday break. And I hope that they really equip and empower you to still have wonderful time over this holiday break and do so in a way that is not going to add the conflict that technology often adds. All right, friend, and join me next week as we'll talk about setting holiday New Year's resolutions and how I recommend reflecting on the year behind us and making intentions for the year ahead using sustainable tools that are both kind and firm at the same time so parenting finally feels sustainable.
SPEAKER_00:See you again soon, friend. Listeners, if you need parenting advice, talk to my mom. Sustainable parenting with Flora McCormick.
SPEAKER_01:Friend, if you'd like to leave a review to share how sustainable parenting has been impacting your life, I would be so grateful. It helps others to know what's possible in their families too, and you can do so easily by scrolling to the bottom of all episodes, clicking on that fifth star, and leaving a comment. Also be sure you subscribe to the podcast so that you regularly get the downloads each week and don't miss a single tool and strategy to be parenting with more kindness and firmness at the same time so parenting finally feels sustainable.