I used to wake up every morning asking myself "how can I overcome binging" "how can I stop smoking" "how can I start being more productive" "how can I stop being so reactive"
Until I came across this technique.
We often say "just start" but we forget to ask "well what's the best way to start?".
Because how we start can increase our chances of success or failure. It can also affect how long it takes to get there.
I've learned that there is a simple HIGHLY effective habit that can be used as a starting point for anyone regardless of what they're trying to achieve or overcome. It works like a charm if implemented properly.
I use this with myself and my clients on a regular basis.
I challenge you to do it: twice a day, morning and night. Only takes 2 minutes.
I used to wake up every morning asking myself "how can I overcome binging" "how can I stop smoking" "how can I start being more productive" "how can I stop being so reactive"
Until I came across this technique.
We often say "just start" but we forget to ask "well what's the best way to start?".
Because how we start can increase our chances of success or failure. It can also affect how long it takes to get there.
I've learned that there is a simple HIGHLY effective habit that can be used as a starting point for anyone regardless of what they're trying to achieve or overcome. It works like a charm if implemented properly.
I use this with myself and my clients on a regular basis.
I challenge you to do it: twice a day, morning and night. Only takes 2 minutes.
Hello and welcome to another episode of beyond the bench. My name is Mo. I'm a egistered dietitian and ehavioral change specialist and very episode I do my best to elp bring you closer to a life ree of binge eating. So you can ive your best life and start ocusing and other parts of your ife and not worry about binge ating and all the health omplications it brings into our life. And today, we are oing to talk about how to get tarted on a path that will opefully have a very high hance to lead you to a bench ree life. This is something hat everybody who struggles ith binge eating really, really ants, they want to get to a oint where they feel confident hat they will no longer bench nd they want to stop living in ear of food and fear of when he relapse is going to happen. nd, and this is too good to be rue, how long I've been binge ree, I know what's going to appen again, everybody was rying to the binge eating is ind of like tiptoeing around, aiting for that monster to just ome in and you know, start to ake control of our actions in ur mind again, and lead us to o things destructive things to ur body that we know is not not ealthy for us long term. And hat can cause a lot of rustration, there is nothing. ne of the most difficult things o experience is a loss of ontrol and not being able to ontrol something such as the ood that we put in our body. ut this is such a common roblem nowadays. I've struggled ith this in the past, and there s so many people who struggle ith it. You would think that ou're alone, but you are not. ut the question is, how do we et ourselves on a path that ill be that will lead us to a oint where we are bench free, o longer worrying, because ere's the thing. There's a lot f people that I come across, nd this has happened to me in he past as well, where they ill be bench free for let's say couple of months, maybe a ouple of weeks, maybe as long ven as a year or a couple of ears. But eventually, they fall gain and they relapse and the elapse can sometimes take a ong time can sometimes last rom three months to six months o a year to plus that. And when hat happens, it takes away ometimes it takes away from our onfidence that we have overcome enching, and if you'd like you now what everything is messed p, we haven't actually overcome t. We've been living in denial, nd it just starts again. Now ow do we get on a path where we re completely free from that 00% free from that, and not orry about it. This is the ltimate success when it comes o overcoming binge eating. This s the point that every person ho struggle with binge eating ants to get to, they no longer ant to achieve a rehab a band id solution where they're not inge eating for a couple of onths or a couple of weeks, and hen all of a sudden everything alls apart. Nobody who struggle ith binge eating wants that ecause more than anybody else, hey've already struggled with t for a very, very long time in heir life is that this ongoing ycle of being benched free for little bit and then benching or a long time, then a binge ating binge free for a little it and then binge eating again. nd ultimately, we want to break ree from this cycle. But how do e get started on that? And this uestion might seem a little bit oo difficult to answer when ou're when you're asking it to esolve in your Yeah, I mean, I nd actually, to put it in erspective, I can go back in ime. And think about the days here I woke up every day of the eek, from a bench last night, ondering when is it going to be nough is enough one is going to appen for me? When am I going o actually stop? And what am I upposed to do to be able to top? What am I going to replace t with? And thinking that oh my od, the evening is so far away, might be so motivated in the orning to want to stop. But hen the day goes by and 12 ours just comes and, you know, ife just kind of stresses you ut that the benching doesn't eem so difficult to stop doing nd becomes super, super simple o just keep doing. And I would ake up every morning asking yself like, when am I going to top doing this? When am I going o stop messing up my night, ating so much food? I was also moking sometimes as well as ust doing things that I know re not serving me, what am I oing to have control? And how m I going to do it? This is a uestion that has that plagued e for a very long time. And so ow do we start is actually omething that while struggling ith the problem and being in he midst of the storm, it can e difficult to answer because ou're struggling with something nd you're super stressed and ou're in the middle of a storm. ery difficult for anybody for or a lot of people to navigate ut of a storm or you're in the iddle of it. Usually it takes a ittle bit of clarity for that to happen. And so I want to be that source of clarity for you, I want to help you understand how you can get out of it by giving you a simple, simple, simple small step to do something that I still do to this day on something that I preach with all my clients, with my family, with my loved ones, with my friends with everybody I come across. And actually it is no different than the starting point of achieving anything we want to achieve in our life, be it be it, find a career or find a relationship or it get a certain grade in a class or even going back to achieving certain things in your sports or hobbies or whatever you want to do. It's the same starting point, because here's the truth, when it comes to binge eating, really it is it is no different than any other problem that we face in our life. We we at some point, we finished high school and we're like, Okay, what, what's the problem? Now the problem is, I need to find a way to contribute to society to make money. That's the problem. Okay, let's say you do that. Then what comes? what's what's next? Okay, well, I need to find somebody I can share my life with that is the problem solution is finding somebody Okay, well, what is next? Well, I need to find a place I can buy. So I can start paying for rent, for example. And then life keeps on going. Binge eating is no different than any other problem we overcome. We face and overcome. The thing is, because it is so overwhelming, and stressful, and harmful to our health. It and persistent, it ends up really taking a toll on us. But the starting point is no different. And so here is the most basic way you can start on anything. ready for it? Okay, I know I've been like playing a little bit of suspense longer, but I'm in this kind of mood sometimes. But here it is. Your goal, the goal is the most important thing to focus on when trying to get to a point where you are free of binge eating, and free of any other problem in your life is what is the goal? When we're in the middle of a storm and struggling waking up every single day in the morning being like, what am I going to start benching? When am I when when am I going to have enough? We're really asking questions that are can be helpful sometimes, but they're not really leading us to the path that we want to take. When we focus our attention on our goals, it becomes easier to achieve these goals and somehow our mind helps us along the way. And by generating ideas or putting things in our path that can help us overcome binge eating. And this happens through the law of attraction. The law of attraction states that whatever you put your attention on, you will attract more in your life. And so when we wake up in the morning, and we were very upset from last night, and we say negative things to themselves, such as like why am I such a failure? or Why do I keep failing? or Why do I mess up? Or when am I going to stop benching, or what does it have to take for me to stop benching, then really, we just attract the same the same negative answers that we're asking ourselves, like the negative answers that correlate correlate to the negative questions we're asking. And so instead of doing that, I want you to start to do something different is my challenge to you, I want you to start to put your attention on your goals. And here is when we're going to really do some work together right now. And this is something that I do with everybody again, all of my clients with myself, everybody that I care about, when I when I asked him what your goal is, I find that there's a big disconnect between goals and outcomes. You might think that the goal is to overcome binge eating, but actually that is that is not the goal. The binge eating is in the way of something you're trying to achieve. Usually the goal has always going to be better health, better relationship with food, better mental health, a healthier body, a body free of chronic conditions, a body where I can feel energized, a healthy, clear, mind focused mind, or these are the true goals that we want to achieve. These are the things that we want, taking care of our body, having a healthy relationship with our body. These are ultimate goals. benching is only in the way of it. So when we put our attention on benching the whole time, no wonder we keep attracting more of it in our life. So instead what we want to do is we want to start to put our attention on our goals is what is beyond bingeing. Right, what is it that we want to achieve that is beyond benching? Well, I want to I want to have a healthy relationship with food, and I and this is my chance to sit down and write these things, right? Like make, make a list of the goals that you want to achieve. Right and make sure that these are states that these are things that you want to have in your life more of right, and write down Okay, well, I want to have a health You're a body, I want to, I want to feel great in my clothes, I want to feel comfortable my clothes, I want to have a lot of energy. So I can play with my kids and my grandkids maybe and my siblings, I want to be free of chronic conditions and pain. And if these are really, really goals, when we achieve these goals, there are certain outcomes. And this is where goals versus outcomes come in. outcomes are simply things that happen as a result of us achieving goals. And some examples of outcomes when it comes specifically to health would be weight loss, over overcoming binge eating. Having a moderate approach when it comes to eating certain foods, like sweets and stuff like that, not restrictive eating, not dieting, these are examples of outcomes, or outcomes is what happens when we achieve our goal. Unfortunately, many of us are too focused on the outcome. And to make it worse, we're not just focused on the positive outcome, we are focused on the negative outcome, the negative outcomes such as binge eating, we're so focused on that afraid of it, that when we put it in our attention, and we keep it in our head, we attract more of it in our life. So be very careful to separate between goals and outcomes, and start to focus more on the goal and less on the outcome. This is one thing I tell all my clients is, is do not focus on the weight loss, the weight loss is going to happen as a result of you taking care of your body and nourishing your body and feeding your body and doing what your body needs. And aligning your energy intake with your metabolism and energy needs. When you do this, automatically, the weight loss will happen. So no need to put your attention on weight loss because it's only an outcome. And to focus too much on outcomes is when we usually trip, because outcomes sometimes take take time. And this is why I never promise anybody who joins my programs that you're going to lose 5060 pounds in two, three months. The first thing I say is, I can't tell you how long it's going to take you to lose the weight you need to lose, I don't really don't know. Because if I tell you, if I give you a number, I'll be cheating you're lying to and this is what the diet industry does. They attract people who are desperate to lose the weight by saying we've helped Mr. X lose 60 pounds in two months, this celebrity lost 80 pounds in in three months, lose 10 pounds in the first week. And I understand I get it when we really want to achieve something and we really focus on outcome because society puts its complete emphasis on outcome not goals. Right? Then what happens is we end up falling for that. But the outcome is something that happens as a result of us achieving the goal. If you're a sports fan, think about think about athletes for a second, what do athletes do in the game? What are they? What are they focused on, that are focused on winning the game as often people might think they're focused on playing the game, they're focused on making the right offensive plays, making the right defensive plays. Sometimes they even want to score they want to play very high defensive play, because that's what's going to get them to win. But the teams that are for example, super focused on scoring goals, scoring goal scoring goals and not playing really good defense, they end up losing potentially. So the focus always needs to be on the goals. But first, you must be clear on these goals. So my challenge to you is to sit down, write down your goals. What are these goals? What what what are you? What is the goal with your health? What do you want to do with your body? What do you want to do when it comes to your your your mental health, your physical health? How do you want to be when it comes to your relationship with food, your relationship with your body as well, these are things that are very, very important what we neglect. We think that if we lose 40 or 50 pounds, then what's going to happen is that we're automatically going to be you know, taking care of ourselves and everything is going to be going well then, but that's not the case. We need to be doing these things first, before we lose the weight. And this is really, really important. So be very clear on what the outcomes are and do your best to focus on the goals. outcomes will be Benji overcoming binge eating outcomes will be moderating food, sorry, that will be actually a good outcome to the more weight loss, right? These are certain outcomes, more weight loss and overcoming binge eating are outcomes. But when it comes to goals specifically, it is nourishing my body. How can I take care of my body more? How can I feed my body and give it what it needs? And if these questions are hard, then you can ask yourself certain questions such as how can I Learn how to take care of my body. How can I find somebody who would help me learn how to take care of my body? How can I find the right resources that can help me take care of my body? Because when you ask the right questions, you will get the answers. And the answers then can either get you to ask more questions that will lead you to the path or it can give you the answer directly. If you already have the knowledge. This is a very important part. I often say the quality of well, I shouldn't say that I say that I've probably heard it somewhere before but the quality of our thoughts, it really are linked to the quality of our questions. And the quality of our life, again, is linked to the quality of the questions we ask ourselves. If we are asking ourselves negative questions or questions that make us feel defeated all the time, or make us feel disempowered and weak all the time, then it's going to be very difficult to actually change that change our current state or achieve the goal that we want to. But if we're asking ourselves questions that are empowering, that will lead us to take action. And that will lead us to discover the truth behind what we need to do to achieve our ultimate goals, then really, it really becomes much, much simpler and easier and less frustrating. So this is where I want you to start with, I want you to start with V goals, the super clear on them, write them down and read them to yourself every single day, even twice a day. And I know that sounds like okay, I don't have time to do that. But trust me, you have a minute to review your goals every morning. And every evening, it takes no longer than one minute. Don't just say them, write them down, you need to write them down. Because we are super, super, super busy all the time. And we have so much life throws so much at us right now that it becomes simple to lose sight of these things. There has never been a time in history, where they were our attention has been so much competed for you the moment you wake up, there is a million things competing for your attention, your kids your work. And that's social media, every single post is competing for attention. Every single company out there is competing for attention. I mean, even this podcast you're listening to right now is competing for attention, except that it is trying to help you by offering you advice to something that you are strongly with. So applications on your phone, games, whatever it is advertisements, you see, they're all competing for your attention. But your attention should, to some extent, go towards what you want to achieve the goals that will help you live your life in a healthy way, feel more fulfilled, be more, be healthier, and make sure you're experiencing life to the fullest things that actually truly matter. And that is why taking a minute to review your goals every morning and every evening is a very powerful habit. Because here's the thing, when you do that, two things is going to one of two things are going to happen. Number one, you're either going to build up so much momentum and pressure on yourself to find the next step that can help you achieve your your your your goals, and to just kind of seek in that direction. Because it's always going to be in the forefront of your mind. When you're reading your goals. You're going to constantly be thinking about how can I get there. So you're either going to find the next step that will help you achieve your goals or you're going to be so it kind of like turned like just so stressed out from it that you're going to stop doing it all of a sudden. It's because like you're reading and reading and reading and reading it, but you're not really doing it, you're not doing anything in this building up, the anxiety is building up, the pressure is building up. And then you're like, Okay, well, I can't do any more. And then what happens next, you read it again, you keep reading it every single morning, you do not give up on reading it. What happens then, is that the only option for you becomes taking steps in the direction that will help you achieve your goals. And even if you're not ready to take steps, even if you're not ready to take action, what's going to happen is that you're going to get thoughts that will help you take action. And that will motivate you to take action. Because the mind is a very interesting tool. It really creates thoughts and creates ideas based on what you feed it. So if you're feeding at your goals, morning and night and you're taking time to do that, then your mind is going to generate certain thoughts that will push you in the direction you want to go through. But if you stop doing that, if you no longer do that if you don't want to do that anymore. And you don't want to focus on your goals because you'd like worried you might not achieve them. You're like we know what forget it out of sight out of mind, then your mind is not going to give you anything. It's not going to help you move forward there. And then what's going to happen is that other sources of attention are going to keep competing for your mind, which eventually will lead you to keep going in direction that is distracted that you don't want to keep going in and that is where bingeing persists and lives on it lives on autopilot. in your life, binge eating really lives on autopilot. It is something that is automatic, it is something that we don't really think about a lot of times because it's become so such a habit. And to change that, we have to start changing what we put in our mind by focusing on the goal, so that we are pushed in a different direction. This is also by the way, how you motivate yourself long term, often number one, one of my the number one questions I get in and in my programs is, how do I, how do I stay motivated? And people I think, well, there's like, you got to listen to motivational speakers all the time, or you got to do and you know what? Well, I'm nothing wrong with motivational speakers, I like them. It's I actually think that they're interesting. They say some cool things, although I don't agree with everything they say. Because there's certain things that I don't agree with such as like, No pain, no gain and stuff like that. And you got to like, you know, suffer every day of your life. And you got to like struggle and struggle is real. You got to like hustle, hustle, hustle. And you got to like, I think sometimes it's too much. I don't think that that success is measured by you being insanely busy and like doing things all the time, stuff like that. But the best way to increase your motivation is to read your goals. And this is my number one answer to my clients always. You want to increase your motivation. Review your goals again. Well, how does that increase our motivation? Well, the fact that you're reviewing your goals, and you're visualizing it, and you're picturing it, it kind of like puts a little bit of like pressure on your mind a little bit because you're feeding it that and, um, the mind is like, Okay, well, I need to like I need to start moving this direction, because this is where my attention is at. And I think think think about, think about a wedding example, can I give here, think think about driving your car with a GPS, and your GPS is, is set to a direction, right? Every time you take a wrong turn, the GPS is going to adjust and be like okay, no, you need to go this way, this way, this way. Okay, let's say you take another wrong turn than the GPS, good back. Okay, no, you need to go this way. Okay, well, let's say you stop the car completely, while the GPS is still pointing this way. And you're like, Okay, we're going to go, I need to go this way. So this is where motivation kicks in motivation really is a byproduct of what we feed our mind and what we do more of, and your mind really is going to want to do more of what you are telling it you want to do. And so when you visit your goals, you're telling your mind, this is what I want to do. And then it will get creative and help you achieve that. But be very, very clear. Again, I cannot stress this enough. be super clear on maintaining your focus on your goals, not the outcome, let the outcome be have faith that the outcome is going to happen once you reach your goals, but choose high quality goals. Such as I want to be good to my body, I want to nourish my body, I want to take care of my body, I want to help my body be free of chronic conditions. I want to feel energized, I want to increase my metabolism, stuff like that. And you will get certain answers that will help you make the best choices there. Whatever that step is for you is completely personal. Goal setting is something we do in week one in my program beyond the bench, it is something that we spend two hours doing, because it is so important, we get very specific about what our goals are what we want to achieve. And then we learn to put our attention on that. And that is what I wanted to share with you today is this is this is how you can get started. This is a universal step for everybody who's struggling with binge eating. The next step from there really is very personal, which is why I can't tell you what the next step is because it's different depends on where you are in your life depends on the different layers of binge eating that are causing or the different causes root causes of binge eating, that is causing you to pinch and so this but this step over here is universal for everybody. So, this is why I can tell you that this is regardless of where you are, how old you are, what how long you struggle is bingeing. This is the first step, as always be on the bench is 25% off during the pandemic. This is a program where we work in small group, small group programs, at least three or four people they work closely with me I work with them weekly, I do not. I do not just kind of leave them take like something on their own like a course watch videos. And that's it when we actually meet weekly for a set amount of weeks and go through a process that is carefully designed. We answer all our questions we discuss we design we do all the work necessary and explore ourselves more so we can gain the self awareness and self control that we really want. Once we have the self awareness and the self control, binge eating becomes a thing of the past. If you ever want to have a conversation and see if it works for you, you can reach out to me at www.morezk.com and I'd be happy to have a conversation with you as about whether if it's a good fit for you or not. I hope this has really helped you. And I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. Have a wonderful day.