A Better Tomorrow with Edie Hand

Edie Hand is an acclaimed celebrity chef, author, philanthropist, speaker and business woman. Edie is family focused and her family tree includes the one and only Elvis Presley. Edie has traversed through life’s biggest challenges both in her personal and professional life as a small business owner. In today’s episode she’ll discuss some of the tools she’s created that has helped her to keep going when many other people would have stopped.

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Big On Small - The Official Small Business Podcast

Ep. 007 - A Better Tomorrow with Edie Hand

[MUSIC: Noah Smith “New Girl”]

Karolyn Hart You’re listening to “Big on Small”, the official small business podcast powered by InspireHUB, I’m Karolyn Hart.

Samantha Castro And I’m Samantha Castro.

Karolyn Hart We unpack the big ideas happening in small organizations for businesses, agencies, schools, towns, charities, and teams.

Samantha Castro Because what we know is that good things come FROM small packages and there’s nothing small about doing good.

Today we’re introducing you to one of the most resilient women we’ve ever met. Edie Hand is an acclaimed celebrity chef, author, philanthropist, speaker and business woman. Edie is family focused and her family tree includes the one and only Elvis Presly. Edie has traversed through life’s biggest challenges both in her personal and professional life as a small business owner. In today’s episode she’ll discuss some of the tools she’s created that has helped her to keep going when many other people would have stopped.

PART ONE - The Black Pearl of Edie Hand’s Life

Samantha Castro Our story begins in the southern state of Alabama. It’s the 1960s and Edie lives with her family, her parents, Mr. & Mrs. Blackburn and her three brothers David, Terry, and Philip. Edie’s the eldest and she wouldn’t get her sister, Kim, until later in life, but that was ok with her because she loves growing up surrounded by her brothers and the huge, and I mean huge, family that was on her mother’s side - the Hood’s.

Edie Hand My mom was one of 12. There were 12 children. My grandfather owned thousands of acres of land and was a lumberman and logger man as well as they grew cattle, corn. They worked off the land. My mentor was my grandmother Alice and my grandmother taught me how to turn hard things into beautiful situations.

Samantha Castro Edie would need to know how to turn hard things into beautiful situations sooner than she would have wanted to but I’m jumping ahead of myself. Edie loves her life and her brothers.

Edie Hand I grew up with my young brothers, David, Terry, and Philip Blackburn, and we would ride horses in the afternoon. If you can see that picture of these country kids getting off of a yellow school bus, just dropping off your bags, changing clothes quickly and running to the barn and getting your horse and my horse was named trigger. And my brother's horse was named Tonto because we all love Long Ranger and you know, and Dale Evans and Roy Rogers and one of my brothers named his horse Polly, because he was in love with our Avon lady.

Karolyn Hart So wait, your brother's horse was named after the Avon lady. And her name was Polly?

Edie Hand Yeah!

Samantha Castro In between riding horses, taking a trip to Grandmother Alice’s farm for family gatherings, and regular everyday life, Edie and her family would occasionally catch a glimpse of one family member in particular on their TV Set - their cousin - Elvis Presley. Here’s Karolyn:

Karolyn Hart So your entire family. You are part of the Presley family tree.

Edie Hand Yeah

Karolyn Hart Your cousin is Elvis Presley. I mean, you would have just known him as your cousin, but when was that moment where you started realizing like, you know, cousin Elvis, he's turning into a big deal. When did when did that happen for you?

Edie Hand Well, he was a big star because he was 16 years older than me. So I had watched him as a young girl. Back then when it started, we would gather, you know, people would gather around television sets and get the whole family or the neighbors. We were one of the fortunate ones that had a pretty large television. And he was on The Ed Sullivan Show, I was just a young girl, and thought, ‘Wow, how cool is that?’ And I remember my Grandmother saying, well, when you're old enough, we'll go visit. We'll go to Graceland. And I thought, oh, that'd be cool....

Samantha Castro That’d be so freaking cool! I mean just in today’s standards a trip to Graceland would be such a fun and interesting trip to see all of the memorabilia that is there now, but back in the time Edie’s talking about, he’s freaking living there! Every rock and roll fan then and now would probably do anything to get a chance to go to visit Graceland.

But even Edie, who was family, knew that Graceland was by invitation only. So when Grandma Alice said ‘We’ll go to Graceland.’ Edie knew it would take some time before they got an invite.

Edie Hand You know, you didn't just show up like you did in the south. People just come to your house on Sunday to eat whether they were invited or not. So I remember I was about 16 years old, and I could drive, so my grandmother said, "I have a surprise for you. I've got us an invitation to Graceland." And she said "You can't tell anybody else." And I went, "Okay, I won't tell anybody." So, she and I leave Russellville, Alabama, and we drive to Memphis. And that was about, you know, back then that was probably a little over three hours for us. But at that particular time, Elvis wasn't there. The first time I got to go.

Samantha Castro Elvis might not have been there that first time Edie visited but she was surrounded by the strong women on that side of the Hood family. Grandma Alice’s sister, Minie Mae, who was Elvis’ grandma, was there that day along with Edie’s Aunt Delta. And boy did these women show Edie a great time in Graceland.

Edie Hand It was the most wonderful time I felt like a princess. I remember, Delta taking me up to Elvis's room on the third floor that people don't go to she showed me all of his clothes, in his closet. It was like a department store. I went out back to horseback ride. You know, they had their own trailer court in the back and the office. I went to church with my other Aunt, Nash, but for me as a young girl, that was fascinating.

And, you know, I was gearing up to go to college in about a year. And I remember they invited me back and that was when the first time I met Elvis. And I remember uncle Vernon was there. And they introduced me as the smart pretty cousin. And so they, you know, Elvis like me. So there's one of the reasons I got to come back a lot. And that I wasn't interested in it.

So they invited me to go to gospel concert. But as a young girl dahling up from Graceland and going there and people knowing where you came from, not many people would get to go in a limo, you know. I remember that, he said, "Did you meet anybody you want to meet?" And I said, "Well, I saw this cute guy." And told him he was a singer, and they wouldn't know who it was. So he said, "Well, you can invite in the next night." And I said "What?" "You can invite him to come over, we can check him out." Can you imagine this guy asked, would I go out to eat?

And I said, “Well, I can't but I have to go back to my family's home.” But I said “You could come over and have you know a snack afterwards and say hello.” And I just met the guy and he's probably thinking 'What the world? She wants me to meet her whole family the first time I meet the girl?' And when I tell him where it is he says, "Well, I don't know the guy that lives there. That's Elvis's place." And I said, "Well, that's where it is."

Karolyn Hart So your cousin Elvis was checking out your potential date and making sure that he was safe?

Edie Hand Yeah

Karolyn Hart Because that would not be intimidating whatsoever.

Samantha Castro Just for the record, I would definitely be intimated. Anyways, boys weren’t the main thing on Edie’s mind, she had bigger plans and everyone knew it because she was about to be the first of Elvis’ cousins to attend college.

In 1969 Edie heads to Florence State University (now the University of North Alabama) to major in psychology and business and minor in theater. Edie’s dream, you see, her passion, was to be a Broadway star. But Edie, who had the famous Elvis Presley in her family, still knew that in order for her to be successful she needed to listen to the practical side of herself every now and then which is why she was majoring in psychology and business.

Edie Hand Being realistic, I was in Alabama. But when I realized I was very good at theater and my drama coach, Gladys Shepard took me to New York City, for the first time I ever got to go when I was a senior in college, and I got to see The Lion In Winter of Katharine Hepburn starring on Broadway. So she cast me in the Lion In Winter, and I portrayed Queen Eleanor, so it was my destiny I felt. You know, my dream had been to spend my time in New York City as a Broadway star, that was my ultimate dream. But sometimes you get on a different horse and life takes you in a different direction and plan A becomes plan B.

[MUSIC: Caleb Etheridge “Mirage”]

Samantha Castro During the senior year Edie was just talking about, she was working 3 jobs while attending school and living with her brother David who was also attending Florence State. David invited Edie to watch his fiance’s play back home, and although she wanted to go, she was too tired and ended up staying behind. It was on that night that David fell asleep at the wheel and died in an accident not far from Grandma Alice’s farm. He was only 19.

Edie’s path changed that night and it would continue to change and challenge her because as much as I want to say this is the worst thing that happened, the loss of a brother, it wasn’t. But again, I’m getting ahead of myself.

After college, instead of moving to New York, Edie decided to stay in Alabama, closer to her family.

Edie Hand I actually came to Birmingham, Alabama, I was doing a lot of things before just to find out what was me. I was doing local theater, regional theater. I got a job with a medical company and with a local NBC affiliate, which led me to New York, through promotions on NBC and CBS, I worked different things at different stations back then you could do that, like, you know, if you did a noon day show, or if you did consulting work, so I did a lot of diverse things.

Samantha Castro Edie was hustling. During this time she marries, has her first and only son, Linc, and in 1976 starts her first small business, an advertising agency called Hand ‘N Hand Advertising.

Edie Hand I started first out of my home with $500. And then we moved to Daphne, Alabama and I had clients in the Birmingham area and in South Alabama. We bought a lovely home on the golf course, Lincs father and I so I had an office. And he helped with some of the media buying from his work. And I had two ladies that work with me, one in Birmingham and one there in Daphne.

And so that began the Hand N Hand Advertising that grew into something far larger than I ever imagined. Because one of my first clients was from my hometown of sunshine pet food, which was a national pet food product, and also boutique shops like The Village shop. I worked there when I was in college.

All these people were giving me work. And then again, with a chain of Ozmo Bill, Chevrolet car dealerships, that from Birmingham, and Mobiel, and on and on all over the country. So I had to hire more people, that's when we formed The Hot Spots because I needed help. So these three other men, we all did what we did best. One would write, I would write and perform, and Linc's father would sell and we had another guy selling, so we built a team between two companies.

[MUSIC: Stephen Keech “Carlisle”]

Samantha Castro Hand ‘N Hand Advertising is the small business that helped Edie launch into the other aspects of her career as a radio & television personality, an author, a speaker - but it all wasn’t as easy as Edie might have made it seem.

At the age of 26, just a few years after David’s death and at the beginning of starting the agency, Edie found out she had a rare kidney disease and cancer. After a fierce 4 year recovery she was back into the swing of things when life pushed her again and in 1984 her brother, Philip died in a car accident.

And you may think goodness, losing one brother is horrific, but two - unimaginable. Friends… it wasn’t over yet...

Edie Hand My brother Terry was stricken with an aneurysm in the middle of the brain, and we care gave for him, my mom, my sister and me for over five years, and he was losing all of his motor skills. And he asked me before he lost his motor skills would I come and help him on his last ride to tell him the stories of what it was like when we were kids. And God allowed that in my life for that to happen.

It changed me forever to experience that and to bury those three young boys. It was the Black Pearl in my life. Little did I know I was growing up with those boys and it would set the tone for my future.

Samantha Castro Edie’s future and what she does after losing her three brothers and fighting her own battles is coming up after the break.

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Part Two: Having True Grit

Samantha Castro I think it’s safe to say at this point in the podcast that Edie is a freakin’ warrior. Losing all three brothers that she grew up with - you may be thinking, how did she keep going? How did she continue? Here’s Edie -

Edie Hand All of this in my life of growing up, there were just as many joys as there were darkness and that's part of I think, as an entrepreneur and as a person, finding their own grit to get up and going was, I think when you go through tough things to share with everyone if you learn how to detach, and that you can keep going. You see I never really grieved them all. But I would detach and do what I had to do.

Karolyn Hart I think one of the things that I appreciate about what you taught me and shared with me is that you took all of that pain, and that being able to detach from it, but then you funneled it into beautiful projects, like your book, The Last Ride. I mean, I wept when I read that book. It's just so incredibly beautiful. And you know, I think that it's an extraordinary gift that you've had, where you've taken, all these difficult moments, and you actually were able to turn it into this gift back to the world.

Edie Hand Thank you. I think that everyone has to find some way to keep going, because life you're not going to get out of here without something happening that's not tough to deal with. And it's how you - the tools, perhaps you've been able to have that you might not even know is within you that your mom, your dad, a sibling, a friend, a stranger could give you. I remember even during a dark time, when I needed someone and I was afraid to call someone. And sometimes we're afraid of things that aren't really, or we have a fear in us. And I think that's the evil dark side of us that wants us not to get up.

Samantha Castro One way Edie chooses to look at her life is through what she calls the Pearls of Life which draws on her spiritual beliefs to help her define certain moments in life. You might have caught one pearl right before the break when Edie said losing her brothers was the ‘Black Pearl’ of her life. Well there’s different types of pearls Edie has to describe other moments.

Edie Hand To me, life is a string on which we hang our pearls. And we all have been given pearls of life. We just have to recognize them through acts of kindness. Now this I learned from my Grandmother Alice.

So when I was writing and thinking of how I could give back for a large women's event at a church, I wanted to find scripture that could go with some different colors of pearls that I had learned about. I looked up and I found in 1 John 1:19 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us. And you know, it cleanses us from all unrighteousness." Well, that's what I thought starting over for the white pearls. The yellow pearls for stains. In 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away and behold the new has come."

Then the pink pearls in life - now anyone that knows me knows how much I love to laugh. You know, I looked it up, in Psalms 144:15 about how important is to be happy among people. And no matter how dark it is, you know, I can get out. Honestly, I you this may be weird to people out there, but I actually have a long stem cigarette holder with rhinestones on it. And I'll put a pretend cigarette on the end of it. I have a few of Phyllis Diller, the late comedians boas. I would wear her boa and I'll have my boa and I'm going "Hi." And I talked to myself, you know, and I do these funny little things, and it'll make me laugh at myself. And Phyllis did that. She said, "Look, if you can talk to yourself and laugh with yourself, you can get over it."

Samantha Castro So the Pearls of Life Edie had learned and developed from her Grandma Alice was helping her move forward. If you’re interested in reading more about the Pearls of Life, we have all of the Pearls listed on the podcast page for this episode.

Another thing Edie did to keep moving forward was she established her own foundation in her brothers’ memory - the Edie Hand Foundation.

Edie Hand When people think you have a foundation, you're just loaded with millions of dollars. It's not always the case. What mine is, is I sell books, it is my tithes that I give back to help kids with cancer. I also help with a Heal Alabama program and with kids here at Children's Hospital that's tied in with the Miracle Kids around the country. And I think that everyone has to find a way to give back in their community. So that's what I have done with writing books is encourage other people to give back in a way in their community. And I do that through my foundation.

Samantha Castro I will admit that I was one of the people who always thought if you have a foundation you must be loaded but in talking with Edie I came to realize that that’s not always the case. I asked her where this feeling to give back came from because I was interested to know if it correlated to her having survived cancer or not.

Edie Hand I was doing it long before I had the cancer. I first learned that from Elvis when I was 16 years old and I remember being there when he gave a yacht to Danny Thomas to raise money for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. And his middle daughter, Terry Thomas is one of my dearest friends and she is my son's godmother, and she lives in Beverly Hills, and she's the founder, with her father, of the Country Kids that a lot of these country artists like raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for kids with cancer there in the Nashville, Memphis area.

That came from that and always I thought 'Wow, if I could grow up and help do something like that...' Well, I didn't have that kind of wealth but I did have those resources. And I also did country music Christmas specials and you know people donate their time and we all would get together to air this to promote St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, you either raise the money or you raise a lot of awareness for them. So people can directly give money to the hospital, just like they do with FedEx for St. Jude golf tournament. We just were another arm of raising awareness and raising certain amount of funds. So that's always been a part of my life. Because I'm a numerous cancer survivor. It's very dear to me to help find cures, yeah.

Samantha Castro Hold up. Play that again.

Edie Hand Because I'm a numerous cancer survivor. It's very dear to me to help find cures, yeah.

Samantha Castro A NUMEROUS cancer survivor. So yes not only did Edie battle cancer at 26 while starting her small business agency, she did it NUMEROUS TIMES. One of the times Karolyn actually was able to reminisce with Edie about.

Karolyn Hart One of the things that I know because I have been with you now for over a decade as your friend and also you have had the wonderful gift of you mentoring, is there might be this idea that well, of course, she had a successful career in an agency, because you know, she had these great opportunities having the Presley family and Elvis as her cousin and meeting these wonderful people. But what I realized is that there's a lot of you first of all, there's a lot of family. And many are talented, not all have gone into entertainment, but you had the success you had with the agency and the book writing and all the materials, because you were hustling the entire time.

I mean, I need everybody they put a picture in your mind. It's probably I guess it must have been about 10 years ago. We're in Nashville. We're at the Grand Ole Opry. And I remember, you know, I am in my 30s at the time, and you know, I won't tell your age, but you were ahead of me, in age, fighting cancer. And I remember chasing you down the hall of Grand Old Opry and it was like that for three days, Edie. I mean, you had phones ringing off of you. And we were running.

Actually, I want everybody to understand this. I'm not exaggerating when you know, you see in the movies like oh, and they say they were the person was... you run from meeting to meeting while you're fighting cancer. I'm and I remember I said to my husband, and I like "I cannot keep up with her." My husband's like, "Do not tell anybody this. She's older than you. And she's fighting cancer, and you can't keep up with her." And I said, "You don't understand, she's nuclear powered." And I remember I said that to you. You said, "Well, actually, technically I am right now because I'm on chemo." And you showed me the little box that you had on you.

Edie Hand Yep.

Karolyn Hart And I feel like, you know if that was you in the middle of arguably one of the biggest fights... And by the way, you did it multiple times, won the fight against cancer, multiple times. How many times have you fought and won against cancer now?

Edie Hand Four times. I actually did a book with one of my oncologist called ‘Cancer, the Unexpected Gift’. And I can tell you that there were many years I was on chemo by mouth but there's so many wonderful things today, and I am knocking on another decade. And I tell them all I said, "I think I got about 10 more good years left in me."

But you know, I will be doing what I do with young, vibrant women like yourself and business women, until the Lord calls me home because we all have a purpose on this earth and mine is to share other women's stories.

Now I've told you this many times that you are your own woman of True Grit, and that I love this - great resilience is transformative, that you certainly inspired that to happen. And I've learned a lot from you too Karolyn, and that is part of as you grow older, is life lessons is that you can be the mentor and the teacher. But when the teacher becomes a student.

So I have been a student of yours, and I have observed you and watched you and seeing your influence grow. And I see that the Lord has given me that senior influence to keep going as long as he wants to use me I'm here. And this is one way of doing this is through the word and through storytelling and that God has enabled me through great men of support to strong women like us that, you know, I'm now writing screenplays with talented men in Hollywood now where in the world would that come from, but only something greater than me? You know, I'm a humbled person.

Karolyn Hart You are my example of who I want to be when I grow up finally

Edie Hand Guess you’ll never grow up huh?

Karolyn Hart I hope not. And well, you know, I do. But you know, the interesting thing is, you were directly involved in just deciding that you were going to help me. And I mean, you dragged me on to television shows you shoved me, you shoved me in front of people. You told me to keep up darling you need to keep up. You told me at one point... I was in a job at the time and I was explaining to you how I felt, I remember I just said, I just feel like, every time I'm trying to move forward, I'm dragging people with me sometimes. And you said, "Well, darling that's just because you're in the wrong pack, you got to, you got to get the pack that can run with you.

I remember you, then not only did you say that, but then you said, "And we're going to start right now." And I think one of the most beautiful things when we're talking about small business and growing, you know, our listeners are small business owners, and they need to understand that we, you are a small business owner. I am a small business owner. This isn't something where suddenly one day you are you know, like what we see in the news, which is you become this unicorn, and you can just coast off into the sunset. I mean, it's still... you're grinding it out, because this is what your passion is, and you're pursuing it.

So you know, when you hear you talk, you know, the the conclusion might be that you've had a lot of personal tragedy, but you've never really struggled in business. So, you know, set the listener straight, Ms Edie Hand about business struggle, because you do have success, but I know we talk about it a lot over the years, we actually laugh about how if people actually knew the behind the scenes footage, of what it looks like, you know, to look successful, to be successful, not just to look successful, but to have... because people go, "Wow, you're doing all these amazing things." And they have no idea, the sacrifice, you know? Can you tell us a couple stories just about, you know, where you were really like, what am I doing here?

Edie Hand Well, there was a time in my life out there, I want you guys to know that even when you can be a CEO of a company, and you can be at the top of your game, and you get sick and someone betrays you, and takes a lot of money from you, and you get beaten down, and you think, can I get back up again, and you think I'd like to go somewhere where nobody knows my name really knows about me. And I just need a break.

I want you to know that I actually took a job as a receptionist, and they didn't know who I was. And I did this with a large company that my niece she was into, she was a business graduate. She said, you just need to get out. They don't have to know you. I'm not gonna give them your resume, of course. But if you just do this for me, I'll make a little bit of money for getting you there. And would you do this for 90 days?

I said, “Have you lost your mind? And no.” And I thought, well I'm gonna do this and just see what happens. So I actually did it. This was for a very powerful financial company. And I'd been there maybe two weeks, and I was late one night staying and doing stuff and found the CEO came out. And he said, “Who are you?” And I said, “What do you mean?”

“Well, nobody works like this. And nobody's this organized. And nobody gets this much done in this short, what is your full name?” He didn’t even know my name. I said, “Well, I'm Edie Hand.” I said, “I'm just, I'm just here as a temp just to help you out for a few months. It's all good. I just happen to I'm older, and this is just kind of fun for me. I'm just, I just need to get out. I've lost a lot of people in my life to death. I just need to get out. Okay.”

Well, it wasn’t. 30 minutes later he comes back. He said, “I Googled you, Oh, my God. What are you doing?” And then he said, “Look, I'll pay you x. If you can do this and do that. I'll give you an office. And you can do this on the side.” But it was one of those things where I did it for a few months, but I got sick again. The cancer came back. And I tell you this people listen, listen carefully. There are mean people everywhere. You have to be above it.

There was a guy and a lady that didn't like it that they all liked me in that I was so successful, and I was sick, really sick. And a few mornings, I was late, but I was downstairs throwing up. I mean, throwing my guts up. But I was committed. And I remember I called him that... this girl who was talking to us. She said, “You want me to sign you up or something?” And I said “Yes.” Well, they thought I was asking favors. And somebody and they said, “Well, maybe you don't belong here.”

And so that is first time ever I worked in something like that. And the first time ever I was let go. And you know what? It taught me a big lesson. I didn't tell him I was sick until it was over. And then I started throwing up. And they went in they saw and they said, “Oh my god, you're sick.” I said, “Yes, I am. My cancers back.” I asked him could I talk to him the next day and I did. And I said “Look it's just a life lesson.” When you're sick, if anybody's out there, if anything happens to you, it's not so bad, to tell people the truth, that you're really sick.

And so just always be aware that if you are always straight up, or to say why I'm really late, or what's going on, no matter where you are, because you can bet they felt like... they didn't feel very good about themselves.

But you know what, I never put that company down. I never put those people down and always take the high road. Because it never behooves you to run a company or another person down. Because I was at fault for not telling them I was sick. But I learned a valuable lesson....

Samantha Castro Telling co-workers where you are in life, telling them ‘Hey I’m not feeling my best self today’ or ‘I’m needing to take it easy because I have XYZ going on in life right now’ is such a vital part of good communication within any organization but especially vital to small businesses because your biggest assets are your people. We’ve said it time and time again on this show and we’ll keep saying because it’s so important.

Take care of your people and they’ll take care of you and your business.

So yes, Edie struggled in business as she mentioned. A business partner she trusted had betrayed her in the late 2000s and taken a significant amount of money, leaving her to the point where all she wanted to do was start fresh.

One of the ways she healed from this particular instance was not only taking the temp job as a receptionist but also she channeled her previous experience into another book written with friend Dale Brakhage in 2010 aimed at helping other small businesses owners.

Edie Hand It's called ABCs of Selling with Etiquette. I wrote the etiquette arm, and you know, we had a fair amount of success with it. And it allowed us to be able to help businesses, small businesses, learn these simple ABCs of selling. You can't sell anything, if you don't have good manners. I tell them all the time that manners never go out of style. I can even give a great example of some of the things that I wrote about with the ABCs of this is - I taught my son to have great manners and to always open the doors for women.

Karolyn Hart And I can attest after being at events that he absolutely does that. It doesn't matter if it's a child or a senior, they're getting the door open for them whether they want it or not.

Edie Hand Yeah, and Jimmy Kimmel - Linc does some work with Jimmy Kimmel, they say "Hey, Linc's always opening the door, walking the girls to the car. He says Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am." I'm very proud of that. I see people seeing his genuine heart that is very important to me. And so that's what this book of ABCs of selling is about, genuineness and kindness.

Karolyn Hart And so give us the story, the advice, tell them the story about the etiquette?

Edie Hand Well, hey, us, one thing you need to know is it you have to create your life from the inside out. And when you reach out to a customer, say for example, you know, you've got to know something personal, you need to take time to do your research to understand. I keep a journal of who I talk to. I know their spouse's name. I want to know their kids names. If I spend a lot of time doing work that with them, that's what I'm doing. They need to know that you're caring about them is real. That is key. And having that kind of knowledge, I think is golden. It's simply free for the taking. If you just do that, ‘course risk comes with all of it, you know, you got to know the proper way to hug somebody. You know the proper way to hug somebody, Karolyn?

Karolyn Hart Is that the side hug? Side hug. I know that they teach you that in church, that is like a southern third edition. I remember I was with somebody they didn't know what the side hug was. And I was like, “You don't understand the side hug…” and now of course now with COVID there's no... there's no hugging of any kind, but when there was hugging, it was always the side hug. That's appropriate.

Edie Hand That's true. And it's so true. And, I'll say this again to small business, “R” is for relationships. People want to do business with their friends, but people, people want to know that you're sincere, honest, you have integrity. Look, I've lost money to maybe one friend, but most of them I've made money with and it's when you give that respect and it flows both ways. That relationship is, it makes such a difference in the perspective, I tell people all the time is, it's like I write about in these books of having a lot of passion. You got to let them see your passion to work to do pursuit, how do you pursue to get put your proposals together? Do you do the right thing, your perseverance, never give up on something you really want. You may have to go to a plan B sometime, but never give up.

I love this. And that I found once and you know, and Dale Carnegie was one of the best when he said, we should be aware of the magic that's contained in a name. Everyone loves to hear their name. I’d say, “Karolyn, thank you so much for letting me be on your podcast today.” You know, and you realize that that person that you're dealing with, sometimes somebody else might look at them, and never look them in the eyes always. Look, that person in the eyes and talk.

Connect. Connection is a beautiful thing. And understand too, that you know, we all have territories, just like I told you. In that position that I lowered myself to do, that I thought I was lowering myself to do... But it turned out to be something really good for me, a really great life lesson that you just can't imagine. You know, a friendship is priceless that I got out of it. And the business relationship that was priceless. I would have had neither one of those. And they both made a profound impression in my life.

But see the person that was so territorial, that didn't look at all the good ideas I brought, but tried to nitpick a couple little things. Remember that of your employees, there could be a reason why that person is being late a couple of times or if you're just watching them, why don't you bring them in and say, could you tell me what's going on?

Karolyn Hart You're giving away my secrets, because Samantha works with me. So now she realizes ‘Oh, now I know where Karolyn’s getting it from!’ Because that's exactly what I did. Because you know, you and I talked about seeing the whole picture.

Edie Hand Yeah

Karolyn Hart Not losing sight of the long game. Understanding that today's person who maybe stumbles and falls can be the person who gets the biggest deal next year. And do you want that person getting the big deal for your competition? Or do you want them doing that for you?

Because they're going to win, they're not always going to fail. You think, ‘Oh, you've had... they've had a bumpy season.’ But you know, the person that has that leader come to them and say, “Look, I'm gonna walk along with you during this dark season.” I mean, the loyalty, the motivation that we feel towards leaders who invest in us when we're weak. I mean, there's no comparison, we'll run through walls in the future for them.

You know, I remember I had a leader do that for me, one of my first mentors, and I had a loss in my life at the time. I just started the job and I wasn't coping well. And you know... so he gave me, he just gave me an additional two weeks because I needed it. And, of course, I worked for him for years. And whenever they needed overtime, whenever they needed someone to work a holiday, whenever they needed somebody to work a weekend, guess who was the first person at the front of the line? Me?

Edie Hand Yeah

Karolyn Hart Because I remember what he did for me. And so I wanted to repay that kindness. Pretty simple.

Edie Hand And see and another thing is your receptionist and a major corporation is one of the key people in your bid. They talk with your clients, they meet your clients when they come in. Even this CEO said “I've never ever in all of my career had anyone like you be here.”

It was the telephone manners, all of you out there. Never say “yeah”. Don't pick up the phone, “Yeah, okay.” You know ‘Hello, how can I help you? Who would you like to talk to?’ At work, it always comes with a professional mannerism, no matter who you are, if you're the one answering the phone, and you know, ‘Hi, this is Edie Hand. How can I help you today?’ A kindness in your voice that comes across in a different perspective.

I think to for young people in the business or even is that, you know, sales can be hot or cold. And most people don't want to be pushed into something. And we're in desperate times right now, this is crazy, crazy, unprecedented times. And people do desperate things in desperate situations, just like me not telling how sick I was, or different things is because I thought, ‘I don't want to let anybody down.’ But you only let yourself down.

If you don't build those healthy relationships, and be honest with everybody. And when you're having a bad day, and somebody knows it, you know, if you can at least use good psychology and say, “I see you're having a bad day, what can I do for you?” Or we all get overwhelmed, “How can I lighten your load?” just like you then did for me on a particular instance, and you said, let me take this and make this better for you…

Samantha Castro Manners go a long way. I’m interested to know from you, our listeners, if you’ve had any experiences like Karolyn or Edie just shared. Have you had a boss or co-worker take you over to the side when you’re in a tough moment of life and say, ‘Hey I got this for you, don’t worry about it.’ What was that like for you and what impact did that have on you? We’d love to hear your story email us or call 1-844-967-2428.

We’re getting close to the present day with our story now. All throughout this time Edie is also writing, publishing and establishing the project she’s most passionate about - Women of True Grit.

Edie Hand The Women of True Grit brand, is my most promising brand. I know that this book will be my legacy of telling great women's stories, not someone always that's a top executive of a company and a famous person, say for example, like a Meredith Vieira or … the Mandrell sisters or if it's someone that knows different people for different reasons.

Samantha Castro Originally released in 2010 with co-author, Tina Savas, there are quite a few big names that contributed to this book that you will probably recognize.

Edie Hand They certainly would recognize Dr. Maya Angelou. She gave me a poem to use and told me that - phenomenal woman - to be able to use it. When I did my Women of True Grit... Dr. Judy Kuriansky who is a person that was on ABC Radio for over 20 years and is worked in teaching Psychology at Columbia University, Meredith Vieira.. a voice on 60 minutes and then on NBC today and you know Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The Mandrell family started in country music way back when their mother and father started… Mary Eisenhower are very honored her grandfather was our president.. I love because hers is about philanthropy. Also, Brigadier General when the boss she was the first woman decorated as a brigadier general. Now they might not know her name is a household name, but they do know the women's Memorial that she raised personally $10 million to build this of women history that have given their lives to our country that sits in the gateway of Arlington Cemetery.

Samantha Castro Edie took her Women of True Grit around the country, speaking on not only her stories but also sharing these women's stories. Most recently, Edie was retained to write an in-house FedEx Women in Leadership Book that is inspired by her Women of True Grit Brand. More Details coming soon on this book. More Women of true grit projects from Edie are currently in development and we’ll be sure to share updates with the Big On Small Family as they unfold.

Edie continues her speaking, writing and even moves more into the entertainment industry when she establishes Hand N Hand Entertainment with her son Linc to tell her story and others on the big screen. Here’s Karolyn -

Karolyn Hart One more story about perseverance, because I think when, you know, I'm just thinking about the documentary that you did, which is the story of The Last Ride and your story. Right? Um, but that getting that done, that was like, how many years was that?

Edie Hand ..It was 10 years…. Dave Johnson is one of the finest he's written over 500 screenplays work with Warner Brothers, one of the top in the business. And God allowed us to meet at an event, a fundraiser in California. And so all I'm saying is is that he said to me says you know, you really need something else to show you some type of promo. And I thought, I'm going to do a short documentary now. I was gonna have to pay for this myself. But there was a team of people that were willing to work for bare bones. A friend of mine that had a production group here … So I call my son and ask what he do the narration and I asked Victoria, would she write a song to go with the book, and she wrote a better tomorrow? Because she said, I always hear you talking about you know, things can be better, they will get better. And in reading your book, and the other two folks that helped her in writing, and she's sang it.

[MUSIC: ‘A Better Tomorrow’ Music/Production by: Andy Kautz | Lyrics/Melody by: Elle Vee & Victoria Plummer | Featured Singer: Victoria Plummer]

Edie Hand We filmed it and we had a family gathering like we used to do on the Fourth of Julys, that Elvis came sometimes just Elvis's dad, Vernon and Aunt Minnie and Aunt Delta, and all of them came. But my uncle's would make music on the front porch, so we recreated that. And I will tell you having someone from my colleagues days to talk about what it was like that my dream was to be an actress and to all the deaths, all the losses, all the different portrayals changed my destiny. But I made it work by the help of God. And I can tell you I had not grieved everybody's death and my father was living when we did this several years ago. I just lost my father, the last of my family this past fall to Alzheimer's. But what a wonderful thing to see so many of my family come together. But after that I really lost it. I grieved 40 years of letting go. I was on the floor here in my lovely two story colonial home out in the country. And I really... it brought me to my knees. And I grieved all those losses.

Karolyn Hart I think that's interesting because you and I talked about that moment and how being a workaholic... that it is a it's a drug that numbs us.

Edie Hand Yeah.

Karolyn Hart And it doesn't matter how long you try to bury it. There does come a reckoning is what you and I were talking about. And, you know, that some point, the natural human experiences that we need to grieve that loss in our personal lives, in our professional lives because it opens us up to healing. Real healing.

Edie Hand Yes, it is... I totally believe that I suppressed all this pain my entire adult life. The reason I've dealt with chronic illness and numerous battles with cancer and other health issues, and probably the unhealthy relationships I did have, or the no tolerance for excellence was because I had never allowed myself to grieve, or to forgive. And I can tell you, you have to forgive eventually. And you have to grieve. And I have done both.

Karolyn Hart And, you know, I think on the thing of forgiveness, which I am learning, because we don't really talk about the need for forgiveness in business, you know, it really isn't. It's one of those things where maybe you got fired from a job, maybe a leader did something to you. But we tend to think about forgiveness as really something that we apply in our personal lives. And we don't think about all the wounds that can happen when business betrayals happen, and those relationships happen.

And I think one of the lessons I have really learned honestly recently about forgiveness, is there's a difference between forgiving someone, and also coming into a place of acceptance. And I always thought that you had to have them at the same time. But what I've learned is that you can actually forgive somebody, and truly say, I forgive you, but still not be at a place of real acceptance in your life, which I did not know that until a friend was like sharing with me a journey she had been on. And that ability to forgive whatever the people are that have you worked around.

I mean, I love what you say at the end of the day, we're humans, we're in relationship. And it doesn't really matter how the betrayal comes in it wounds and how important it is, after you've gone through a struggle to find that place of forgiveness, and wholeness. And I think that's just such an important lesson.

Edie Hand It is and I'll tell you this out there - If you think no matter what season you're in, you can have a dream, you can have a different dream, and never settle for second best for yourself. I had thought I would probably grow old alone. I am older, but I'm not in my twilight years yet. I hope I get to get there. I will live longer than any of my family if I do, my immediate family. But I can tell you that God's just not done with me yet. So I believe that this is just the beginning of this season. And that I feel greatness... greatness coming. And I tell anyone, it doesn't matter how crazy these times are, we have to push through, you may not be doing what you want to do. But you do what you need to do to get to that next level. No matter where in this world you live, there is someone that will give you a hand up if you stay the course. That, I believe.

Karolyn Hart What I love about you is the reinvention that you continue to do. And at a time in life, when people are saying I'm going to tap out and whatever that like you don't believe in retirement, like your whole thing is until the good Lord takes me from this earth, it's on! Like we are in a full out ride to get everything out of what we can. And I know that has certainly influenced me because I used to think to myself, you know, I don't want to retire. But so many people would tell me that's ridiculous. And I remember when I met you, and I kind of whispered that to you. I was like, "You know, I don't actually know if I ever want to retire." And you were like, "Absolutely not. You know, you keep going until your time here is done." What would you say to small business owners who want to quit?

Edie Hand You know, listen everybody, we're in the middle of COVID. We're in the middle of a pandemic. If someone that's almost 70 years old, can interview 18 wonderful executive leaders from FedEx around the world by Zoom that didn't even know what Zoom was until that and I had to learn about Zoom and WebEx and on and on and how to record and then write - You can do anything you want to do.

I tell people all the time 'U' is for upselling and you need to upsell everything you're doing. From one thing that you do there is another opportunity of branding or reinventing yourself and as long as your mind is sharp and you've built healthy relationships... It is the key, is healthy relationships. I can probably count on one hand, people that probably don't like me. And you know, I in these 40 something years and, you know, I didn't do everything right. There's some things I do regret.

But I learned from those lessons I learned from each of those people that maybe I didn't make so happy or they didn't make me so happy is that I chose to reflect and learn from it one way or the other. There's some things you cannot change. But there's one thing for sure that you have, and it's choice. And if you want to have more in life, you've got to seek more.

And one of the greatest keys I can give anyone hear of your listeners is 'L' is to listen. If you really listen what that client wants, or for example, here I'm doing a piece for a pastor at his church, he'd written a book, and he wanted... he thought he could do a movie. I said, "Oh no, you will lose a lot of money right now. You need to tell your story. Tell your story from your heart." People have to understand why you're passionate about what you're writing, and what your message is. People have to buy and who you are. And any of you out there they have to buy into who you are, before they will invest their money in you to grow into a story or a product. Or if you're going to help them to brand something they have. Or if you've got an idea, be confident enough in your ideas to go and 'A' ask. If you do not ask you will never know.

And if you don't have all the courage, you need to get it done, ask people that understand other things. If you need a technology person, if you need someone to pretty up your presentation, whatever you need... If you can go in with confidence, you can usually come out with something that gives you a great result. It's just doing those basic things Karolyn, that's what I'm telling you. If you want it, you find the solutions. And you get it done and you get your grit up and you never let it down.

Samantha Castro To learn more about Edie and explore her books visit ediehand.com. That’s E-D-I-E Hand.com. To watch her documentary, “The Last Ride” visit hhentertainment.biz

CREDITS

[MUSIC: Noah Smith “New Girl”]

Samantha Castro We hope you enjoyed this episode of Big On Small, and if you did, be sure to subscribe, follow us wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. It lets us know how we’re doing and how we can make this a better podcast.

Karolyn Hart Visit bigonsmall.biz to join our community of small businesses and find helpful resources. To learn more about what we talked about in today’s episode, read show highlights, and more, go to bigonsmall.biz/podcast and visit the post for this episode.

Samantha Castro We’re working on new stories where we need your help. Call and tell us how you’ve had to make small or BIG changes to the way you do business since COVID started. The number to call is 1-844-967-CHAT. That’s 1-844-967-2428

We listen to each and every message.

The Big on Small podcast is powered by InspireHUB - creators of the award-winning IHUBApp Digital Experience Platform.

Big on Small is produced and directed by me, Samantha Castro

Karolyn Hart And me Karolyn Hart. Additional support by Sue Braiden, Richard Brashear, Audrey Duncan and Sue Jenks. Music by Noah Smith. Mixed by Samantha Castro.

For the full list of credits visit the podcast page for this episode.

Thanks for listening!

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