5 Things Nobody Will Tell You About Quitting Alcohol

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Chapters

• 0:00 Uncovering the Truth About Sobriety
• 8:20 Embracing Sobriety and Self-Discovery

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol-free. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, then head over to wwwsoberclearcom. Listen. When we stop drinking, we all know that we lose weight, we feel better, we save money all of these good things happen, and if you've clicked on this video thinking I'm going to be talking about these generic things, you'd be dead wrong. Whilst those things happen, there are certain things that happen when you stop drinking alcohol that nobody is going to tell you about. How did I figure this out? Well, I've not drank myself for over six years and I've worked with hundreds of clients in a stop drinking program. Now, these were things that happened in my own life and they're things that I warn all my clients about. So, whilst this video might not actually be positive and uplifting it might actually be negative there's one thing for sure the things that we're going to talk about in this video today will change your life forever and, most importantly, the chance of actually succeeding in stopping drinking is going to increase dramatically. So the first thing that no one's going to tell you about is about the clarity. Now listen, clarity is usually a benefit, right? You think clearer, you know you're not waking up foggy, you're able to think through problems better, and sure, these things happen when you stop drinking and it's really really good. But there's a darker side to this. See, what can happen to a lot of people it happened to me, it's happened to my clients is they get this clarity and they're like, oh, this is great. But then there's a shift For the first time, sometimes in decades. They look at their life and it hits them. They look at their life and they're not happy with where things are Because they've been stuck in this cycle of having a problem, not solving the problem, escaping with alcohol. For a lot of people, things have just slowly gotten out of hand. So a lot of people can look at their life and just not feel happy. They might look in the mirror and the reflection that's coming back at them is not what they want to see. They might look at their relationship and not be happy. I know people who have got sober and gotten a divorce because they've really reflected on the relationship and realized that drinking has just kept them stuck in a cycle of a toxic relationship, and this is painful.

Speaker 1: 2:10

When I stopped drinking alcohol, I looked at my life and I felt disgusted. I was ashamed, I was bloated, I was fat. I'd already destroyed a personal training business, my wife had crumbled backwards and I was working in a restaurant trying to save money, but I kept spending it on alcohol until I was calling up my family to borrow money off them. And when I finally stopped drinking, I looked at it and it hurt, it stung. But I want to tell you that this is part of a process Coming to terms with the life that you've designed, because guess what? Your life is the way that it is because of the way you've designed it. When you accept that, it is the best feeling ever, because when you don't drink and you stay on that path, you're able to start fixing things, you're able to start tackling the issues, tackling these problems that you might've put off for years, and you're able to start moving your life in the direction that you want. So, whilst this clarity is a good thing, it may end up hurting, but just remember this that pain is your ticket to a better life.

Speaker 1: 3:01

So let's dive into the second thing. Let's talk about your relationships. See, when we stop drinking alcohol, people will react in different ways and you've got three kinds of people. You've got your supporters, and these are the best people that you can have. These are your true friends. These are the people when you tell them, right, I'm not going to drink again, and they're like awesome, that's the best. They're just really supportive. They're like that's the best thing ever. If you need any support or help, let me know, I'm on your side. They're never going to encourage you to drink. They're never going to belittle your decision. They're just your supporters. For a lot of people, that's their spouse, but not always and we'll get into this. But that's the first kind of person. The second kind of person they're just neutral. They're not going to support you, but they, and with these neutral people, you never need to set a boundary and everything just goes on as normal.

Speaker 1: 3:45

However, there's a third type of person, and these are what I call detractors. These are people who, when you stop drinking alcohol, it's almost like you hold a mirror up to that individual and your decision to stop drinking is like a reflection of all the things that they kind of want to be. And nine times out in fact, 99 times out of 100,. This individual has their own issues. They ain't they ain't going to be neutral. They're going to wait for moments of opportunity to actually get you to drink. They might see you in a bar, in a restaurant, and at first maybe you tell them that you're not going to drink, they're cool with it, but then two weeks later they're saying why don't we just get one? Why don't we just get one tonight? Just don't drink so much. And you've got to be careful about these people. I experienced these people when I first got sober, in fact without too much detail. I have family members that are like this.

Speaker 1: 4:34

But with these people you need to set boundaries and it sounds harsh. But if people continually cross the boundaries that you set with them, guess what? Sometimes you may move away from these people. Like I said before about marriages, this sometimes can be the person that you're closest to. It can be your spouse. Sometimes it can be a parent, somebody that you really love, and for some people this is one of the hardest things to deal with. But when you stop drinking alcohol, you may drift away from people that you were once very, very close with. But just remember this this isn't coming from a place of superiority, of arrogance or anything like that. The best thing that you can do for those people is if you feel like you've constantly set a boundary, they've crossed it and you say, do you know what? I don't think we can be friends anymore. The best thing you can do for that person is to stay on this path and set an example for them. I promise you people will start noticing. They'll see you looking healthy, looking more vibrant. So don't let them drag you down. Keep elevating yourself and just set the example for them.

Speaker 1: 5:24

Now the third thing lies in confusion. See, if you've watched my channel for a while, you'll know that I'm all about reframing how you view alcohol, using first principles, thinking, breaking the problem down into its component parts and then moving on. But then, once you've done that, it's all about then building a vision and going towards a better quality of life. I don't believe in going to the past and AA meetings and war stories and therapists. I don't think that that's related to not drinking. What we need to do is change our perception and then have a vision. However, when you stop drinking alcohol, sometimes that vision doesn't come quickly.

Speaker 1: 5:55

Sometimes, when you stop drinking, you can go into a period of introspection and not knowing what you want or who you actually are, because a lot of people will wrap their identity up with alcohol and being a drinker and then, when it's removed, it's like, well, who actually am I? You might have been the life and soul of a party and the one that gets drunk and dancing and joking around, and then you go to a party and you're not that guy anymore. Now I was blessed when I stopped drinking. I knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted to be able to have an online business, be location independent, travel the world, be in a relationship, be in shape. But for some of you, this might not come naturally. But again, this is part of the process. You might go into this period of introspection and not quite knowing what you want.

Speaker 1: 6:34

But guess what starts happening over time? If you've promised yourself for years that you're not going to drink and then you keep drinking, you're creating this cycle of making a promise to yourself and then breaking it. So then, when you set a goal for a business, you set some kind of health goal or relationship goal, fitness goal, whatever you're almost communicating to yourself that you break promises to yourself. But then, when you finally stop and you stick with that promise that you've made to yourself, guess what starts happening? Well, you start gaining self-belief in other areas of your life. And this does take time. It's not just like that, like overnight. All of a sudden you're a machine. But maybe the first week of not drinking you say I'm going to do three workouts and I'm not going to order a takeaway. And then you do it, and then you get to the end of the week and you're like oh, I actually followed through with what I said I'm going to do for once and I didn't drink.

Speaker 1: 7:37

No-transcript. And this is big. In the first year it was for me. But bad days are coming. This journey is up and down. I've had them. My clients have them. Anybody that stops drinking will have them.

Speaker 1: 7:53

I remember that first year of stopping drinking. I used to get a lot of these days where I was just anxious and this is very common for people that stop drinking. There were days where literally the only thing I could do was get out of bed and I was living in Thailand, where it's like $10 for a massage. I'd go for a massage and that was it. That was a win for the day. We're going to have days when family members pass away. We might have financial problems, business problems, career problems, we might get fired, we might lose our job, be made redundant.

Speaker 1: 8:20

Whether you drink or not, you will have bad days, and I think for a lot of people, when they first stop drinking that first kind of one to two months they feel amazing, right, because there's that point of contrast where you are feeling so low and so bad. Then all of a sudden you're like oh, I just feel so much better than I did a month ago. But then life continues and then things start happening, and I think a lot of people don't expect this to happen, but I want to tell you this bad days will come, but the great thing is is that you no longer need to use a bottle and alcohol to escape whatever's happening. Instead, you can process your emotions, you can deal with problems that come up and you can fix them. See, the life of your dreams becomes a possibility when you finally stop drinking.

Speaker 1: 8:59

And while there will be bad days, guess what else? There'll be Some of the best days of your life, and the fifth thing that nobody's going to tell you is that you will find the real you. What I mean by this is that when we drink alcohol, we're clouding who we really are. There's a version of you that's positive, that's happy, that's energetic, that's good fun to be around, and they don't drink alcohol. That's what you were like before you ever started drinking. Now this may take some time, but if you get busy setting goals, taking action every single day and going in the direction of the life that you want, a new, more confident, positive version of you will emerge. Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking Podcast by Sober Clear. If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit wwwsoberclearcom.