The REAL Reason Trying to Quit Alcohol Never Works

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol-free. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, then head over to wwwsoberclearcom. Here's the crazy thing when it comes to stopping drinking alcohol, there's a trap that almost every single drinker falls into. And no, I'm not talking about some fancy marketing campaign that's going to encourage you to drink, and I'm not talking about that friend that's going to encourage you to have just one and then relapse. It's nothing external. It's actually something that's happening in every single drinker's mind. See, the biggest alcohol trap of all is trying to quit drinking. And you might be thinking what are you talking about? Trying to quit drinking? Well, haven't you noticed something weird? Every time somebody tells you that they're trying to stop drinking alcohol, they always seem to go back to drinking. It's a very strange phenomena, but there's a reason for this, and today we're going to unpack why trying to stop drinking alcohol is going to keep you stuck. This kept me stuck for the 10 years that I drank alcohol. For, and also of the thousands of people that I've spoken to with a drinking problem. I've seen this come up time and time again. So the first thing we're going to do is we're going to unpack this psychological trap that people keep falling into and why trying to stop drinking could make you fail. Then we're going to analyze some of the various language patterns that we use. Then the most important part of the video is I'm going to be giving you some reframes on how to switch your thinking around. Those techniques literally work within seconds, super, super valuable. And then we're finally going to talk about how to stop this self-sabotage. And it's so much easier than you think.

Speaker 1: 1:40

So let's look at the psychology of commitment versus trying. See, what we're doing is the moment we say that we're trying to do something, we're almost creating this backdoor of escape, this backdoor for failure. See, trying implies there is a possibility of failure and it almost creates this idea that failing is acceptable and kind of expected, and it creates a fundamentally different mindset. See, when we're committed to something, when we are solving a problem and fixing it, what happens is our brain looks for solutions, but when we're trying to do something, our brain then starts looking for excuses. See what I mean by this is you never hear of a parent say I'm trying to be a parent. It doesn't work like that. They just are now a parent. See, if somebody had this idea that they were just trying to be a parent and then maybe the next day they weren't going to be a parent. It just doesn't work like that. When people have children, they are fully committed to being a parent. That's how they now identify themselves. They're not trying, they're not going to struggle, they're not going to be a parent for 90 days. That's just who they are from now on.

Speaker 1: 2:40

And when you're committed to something, it creates this clear identity shift. You go from I'm attempting to be to I am. And research has clearly shown that when you make a definitive decision, it requires way less willpower than if you're trying to do something, and I'd argue that it requires no willpower at all. Think about it like this when you go to brush your teeth in the morning, are you trying to brush your teeth or do you just make a decision, go to the bathroom, put on your toothpaste and brush your teeth? See, I'm sure you're not trying. I'm sure you just make a decision and stick with it. Do you need to try to not take heroin, or do you just see yourself as somebody that doesn't do it. Do you see the difference here? Being able to make a decision and just change your identity makes all the difference.

Speaker 1: 3:21

Now let's analyze some of the language patterns and mistakes that people make. See, when you're struggling to stop drinking, how do you talk to yourself? You say things like I'll just try to not drink tonight, I'll just get through today. You think maybe I just need to take a break, have a rest, reset my body. Maybe you think I should just probably drink less. And how often do these little sound bites that we've got running in our head actually work? Well, for me it was never. I'd always just keep drinking because I never changed my identity and I never made a decision.

Speaker 1: 3:48

But then, when you've got somebody who successfully has quit drinking and they don't want to drink and they've moved on with their life, how did they talk to themselves? Well, I'll tell you because I'll tell you the way that I talk to myself, because I've not drank for six and a half years, I don't think I can't drink, I think nothing, I just don't drink. Like that's who I am now. I don't see myself as sober and struggling or anything like that. I've just made a choice and that's it. I'm moving on with my life. I just don't think about it anymore. I don't have these language patterns. That's all about struggle and fight and recovering and no, none of that stuff.

Speaker 1: 4:20

So let me give you some super powerful reframes. So let me give you some super powerful reframes to help you on your journey, because we want to go from restriction to choice. So, rather than think I can't drink, you say I choose not to drink. Rather than thinking you're restricted and it's this thing that you just can't do, but you kind of want to do it, you just say to yourself well, I'm choosing not to. I'm making a choice, a decision.

Speaker 1: 4:43

Instead of thinking, oh, everybody around me is drinking, having a good time, I'm missing out on something, you switch it and instead you think about yourself as being free, experiencing total freedom and joy. So you don't feel like you're missing out. You feel this sense of relief when you think about alcohol. Do you see the difference? Do you see how powerful this can be? Instead of thinking, oh, it's so hard to just not drink alcohol, you don't think that way you remind yourself that it's easy to not drink because everything is so much better. We need to move away from this idea of what if I fail, to what happens when I succeed. So instead of thinking that we're giving something up, that we're giving up drinking, we think of it more of I'm actually gaining my life back. Everything's changing. So this way, we're not running away from alcohol, but we're moving towards something more positive and a better quality of life. So let's talk about self-sabotage and how you can end it, because the language patterns that we choose to use are responsible for our results.

Speaker 1: 5:37

When people create these escape routes and this idea of trying, they're having one foot in and one foot out. So then, when this idea in their head comes up of just having one drink or just drinking less and moderating, and blah, blah, blah, they've given themselves an option to follow those thoughts through. But here's the paradox Keeping your options open, keeping one foot in and one foot out, doesn't make things easier and better. It makes things impossible. Now, I know you might not be fully ready right now to actually make that decision, and that's why I created the free video training that you can access by clicking the link in the description. That is going to get you into a much better state. That should start the process of reframing how you view alcohol, because I promise you, once you've changed your perception, it becomes such an easy and logical choice. Have a great day. Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking Podcast by Sober Clear. If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit wwwsoberclearcom.