Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear
The Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear is here to help you stop drinking alcohol and achieve the life of your dreams. We want to support people getting sober so they can get on with their life without feeling miserable. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, head over to https://www.soberclear.com/
Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear
How To Get Through Early Sobriety (Days 1-90 Alcohol-Free)
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Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol-free. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, then head over to wwwsoberclearcom. Over the past five years, I've guided nearly 500 clients through early sobriety, through the first 90 days, and here's what I've discovered. There are nine clear and distinct phases that they all go through. The problem is is 99% of the population go through the exact nine phases, but they try to apply the same strategy to each one of them. That's, sadly, why most people fail. But after doing this almost 500 times, I've seen patterns. So today we're going to break down these nine distinct phases so you can get through early sobriety. You'll learn why what happens on day three can actually sabotage you on day 30, and you'll understand why just quitting is probably the worst advice you'll ever hear.
Speaker 1:Over the next few minutes, I'll be explaining what you should do in each of these phases, including the pre-quitting phase, which pretty much everybody seems to miss. Let's start at the pre-quitting phase. Let's start at the pre-quitting phase. So what do most people do when they're trying to stop drinking. They just stop, they just do it. They just say right, that's it, I've had enough of alcohol, I'm going to stop. I've done this, you might have done this, I've done it hundreds of times and it never works because we never change our perception of alcohol. We live in a world that is dominated by alcohol and we live in a world where it's normal to drink and ultimately, alcohol is built on this foundation and understanding that it somehow enhances our life. So this technique just never works. So I want to give you a different way to do things. Before you decide right, I'm stopping, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1:The most important thing is to reframe the way that you view alcohol. What you want to do is educate yourself. You want to study alcohol, study addiction, study the way that it's marketed and really just start seeing this for what it is. We live in a world of almost mass insanity. See, alcohol doesn't enhance anybody's life. It's a drug. It destroys pretty much every single cell it comes into contact with. It's a carcinogen. So the best thing you can do is prepare yourself by studying. I've got 700 YouTube videos on this channel talking about this exact topic, showing you a different perception, a different perspective. I have that free video training that you can watch in the description. That will show you how to do it.
Speaker 1:Other things that you can do in this phase is find a coach. Find somebody who's got the mindset that you want. For some people, that's me. For others, you might find it in somebody else. That's okay.
Speaker 1:Other ideas here are to find a system, find a program. Some people find it in Alcoholics Anonymous. That wasn't for me. My mom found success in that program, but you could find some kind of system right Rather than just doing it on your own. Find a process. And the other thing you can do in this pre-quitting phase is find a community. Find a group of people who are working on a similar goal that you want. That's why I built a community into my stop drinking program, because it's so important being around like-minded people who can encourage you, who can support you, who can give you advice in different scenarios of your life.
Speaker 1:Like I said, my mum found that in AA. That wasn't for me, but just make sure to spend some time preparing, educating yourself. Maybe finding a coach, finding a system, finding a community these things make all the difference. So let's get into the next phase, the decision Now. This is why the pre-quitting phase is so important, because what a lot of people do is they never actually decide to stop drinking. What they do is they just say I'm going to try. I'm just going to try for 90 days, let's see how it goes, and people almost set themselves up to fail. They're giving themselves like an escape. Now I'm not trying to discourage those people. If that's you right now, maybe that's what you need to do. Maybe you need to have this as part of your journey and part of your process.
Speaker 1:But from my experience, just trying, just giving it a go at a 0% success rate, long-term it can work. It worked for me for sometimes a few months, sometimes a few weeks, but something would always lead me back to drinking, because I always held alcohol on a pedestal. I never fixed my worldview. That's why every single time, I just fell flat on my face, because I never changed my perception. What also happened when I didn't just make a true decision to stop drinking is I would count the days and I would think the longer I'd gone without drinking, the more of a non-drinker that I am. But the problem is is the longer I went, the more I wanted to drink. Oh, it's been 30 days, it's been ages now. When am I going to get a drink again? These were the conversations that would come up in my head Then, finally, it might be two months and I'd Now.
Speaker 1:I know it's hard if you haven't changed your worldview yet, but that's why the pre-quitting phase is so important. That's why I have an education part of my program, because getting into that frame of mind where you see alcohol for what it is and then just deciding to stop drinking changed my life. I haven't looked back for six and a half years. I've had no desire to drink. It fixed it. That was the thing that fixed the problem for me, and I've never looked back. So let's get into the next phase, day zero to three. Now don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1:There are a small minority of people who may need to go through some kind of medical detox, and I'm not here to downplay that. But for most of the population they not here to downplay that, but for most of the population they are fine. If you think you need a detox, don't be watching a YouTube video. You need to be working with a medical professional. I'm not trying to fearmonger, I'm just being real here. But for most people, all it's going to be are some very mild withdrawal symptoms.
Speaker 1:Those first few days you might feel tired, you might feel a bit flu-like, you might just feel a bit drained, and you're just going to have to go through that. But I want you to frame it like this those first few days are the smallest price that you need to pay to get your life back. It's the best exchange of discomfort that you will ever make. So just bear it in mind that it's to come, but it's going to be okay. The other thing that can happen in the first few days is you just might struggle to fall asleep at night. So just expect maybe you're going to be sleep deprived. Expect that maybe you're going to get some sugar cravings. Right, you might want to have some ice cream, some sweets, and the best advice I've got for you is just be kind to yourself. If you need to book a couple of days off work and just lie in bed all day, it doesn't matter. Just get through it. Everybody's got to get through it. But on the other side of this is total freedom. It's so worth it. So let's get into the transition phase.
Speaker 1:Days three to seven so here is when your body is really starting to adjust to this new normal Now. For a lot of people things are going to start feeling a lot better now, but for some people things still don't feel quite right Around. This time mental fog will start to improve, but it won't be back to like pre-drinking levels for a while. But you will just start to feel a little bit more clear. But during days three to seven we need to understand that it's not some overnight success, miracle cure and then boom, things are great.
Speaker 1:Day three to seven can be a little bit tough but, like I said, just get through this first week, because so many great things are to come. During this part you might need to deal with a few social situations. Right, you might need to go out to a restaurant, you might need to meet a friend in a place where alcohol is served and for some people during that first week, three to seven days in this period, they might need to say no to social things. Me personally, I went. I didn't care because I knew that I'd made a true decision to stop. So I'm not avoiding alcohol anymore. That's my recommendation, but that's not going to resonate with everybody. But just expect to make some improvements, but still not to be at 100%. So just take it easy. So let's get into day 7 to 14.
Speaker 1:Usually, for most people around day 7 to 14 is where you'll really start to have noticeable improvements in your sleep. A lot of people at this point go well. I had the best night's sleep I've had in years. I forgot what it was like to sleep so well. By this point you'll have got through your first alcohol-free weekend. For some of you that means that you've gone out socializing. For others it just means that you've got through the weekend at home and it's been okay. By this point as well, you'll have started to build reference experiences. You might have had thoughts of drinking and then just not drank and been okay with it, and these build upon themselves A lot of people.
Speaker 1:At this point they start to feel the physical benefits. The bloating has gone down, the energy started to slowly increase. And don't get me wrong, you still might not be at 100% at this point. You still might feel a little bit cloudy, but most of the population now will really have started to feel like things are just going in the right direction. And one of the best things at this point is the pain from stopping drinking will have subsided.
Speaker 1:So let's get into days 14 to 28, which is what I actually call the danger zone. So for somebody that didn't make a true decision to stop, this is a very tough place to be. All the pain that alcohol caused will have mostly gone by now. For example, if a wife's on somebody's case, they're not going to be on your case anymore. If you've not drank for a couple of weeks, if you are feeling a really bad hangover and you just kind of accumulated drinking over a good amount of months and you were just feeling like ugh with it all, by around two weeks that feeling will have gone.
Speaker 1:And because people start to feel really good at this point, those of us that are uncommitted can start to justify drinking again. That's why the pre-quitting phase is so important. Making a decision is so important and remembering why you did this is so important. So if you are thinking of drinking in this phase, the best advice I've got for you is to play it out. Where is it going to end up? Think about if you make a decision to drink. Where are you going to be in five years if you don't stop? Because the likelihood is is you won't stop. Alcohol is a chain reaction that never ends until you stop it, and the fact that you're already two to maybe four weeks in because we're talking about days 14 to 28 here means that you've got so much good momentum. You've got through the crappy part before, so you really want to remember your why at this point. Why are you doing this? You really need to stay vigilant here, despite feeling good.
Speaker 1:Now, a big thing that happened for me during days 14 to 28 is my confidence returned. I knew I had it beat because I'd made a decision, I'd got through the first couple of weeks and then it was like this light switch of like it's seriously done and in my journey, what I did is within a couple of weeks I started my own business. Basically, my life had crumbled apart because of drinking and I ended up working in a restaurant. I had no money left. It was just a disaster Not that there's anything wrong with working in a restaurant. But before I had a bunch of momentum with business and I was going in the right direction. I drank and then I went backwards. I went back to what I did as a student and around this mark, something switched and I was like I felt like I could do anything. So I immediately started a personal training business and it immediately went well because my confidence had come back. I started to believe in myself again.
Speaker 1:So now let's get into months one to months two. This is all about building momentum. By this point you'll really start to actually see some visible benefits. The bloating will have gone down. Your skin will start to get some noticeable improvements. If you have a red face, that will have started to decrease. You'll start to see financial benefits. At this point, right, there's all that money that we were spending on alcohol that's now going in our pocket. For people that are doing anything to do with sales, or self-employed, or you've got your own business you may see big increases in your ability to produce. You might be getting more clients, getting more sales, making more money. People at work might be noticing, thinking damn, how have you got so productive? You never used to be like this. And then, further down the line, this is when promotions start.
Speaker 1:Relationships will get better at this point. This was big for me because in the past I made a promise to other people that I'd stop drinking alcohol and then I'd break that promise, and that strains relationships hard If you don't keep your word to the people you love. They get sick of it quickly. So you will find relationships are starting to get better. I've got clients where their kids want to spend more time with them again. It's really, really beautiful, and this all happens around months one to two.
Speaker 1:But the main thing here is the explosion in your confidence. You might find that you've made some new friends. You might have got a new hobby right. You might be exercising again. Maybe you've got some local community gym. You're making new friends that aren't revolved around drinking. That can happen around this point as well.
Speaker 1:But again, the big thing for me here was the explosion in self-esteem and self-confidence. I knew I had a beat at this point and I was building momentum in all areas of my life. Again I was back in the gym. I was eating right. My business was finally starting to move in the right direction. I'd quit my job in the restaurant and I was starting to think bigger. I thought wait a minute, I'm back. I get goosebumps talking about it. I've beaten it, I'm back, I can do anything again and that is the best feeling ever. So my best recommendation I've got for you in this period is just go hard. Don't be going to the past and feeling sorry for yourself and thinking about oh, the alcohol back then, or wasn't that a good time? No, don't worry about any of that stuff. Think about what's next. You will start to see that you are capable of so much if you continue on this path. So let's get into months two to three.
Speaker 1:So around this point a lot of people start to realize how little alcohol actually helped them. By this point they will see results. Now don't get me wrong. If you just stop drinking and watch Netflix all day and change nothing you're not reading, you're not studying, you're not pushing, you're not working hard Sure, nothing's going to change. But if you stop drinking because you wanted a better life for yourself, now things are going in that direction. So you really start to realize how much alcohol was holding you back.
Speaker 1:What started happening for me at this point and this is not from a place of judgment, but other drinkers started to be a bit of a mystery. I used to look at them and think don't you understand how good life is without alcohol? Why would you want to drink? Now? That's because I've reframed the way I view alcohol. Don't get me wrong the 10 years that I struggled to stop drinking alcohol. For I used to look at drinkers with a bit of envy. I used to think, oh, look at them having a drink. But I don't feel that way anymore.
Speaker 1:So don't get me wrong, that'll be different for different people, but a lot of people at this point, if they other people, they want to fix their friends right, encourage them and tell them and whatever. So just one quick word of advice the best thing you can do for other people is meet them where they're at. Most people aren't bothered about stopping drinking. It's sad, but that's the world we live in. So, rather than lecturing people and telling them, just go ahead and set the example, show them. Don't tell them, because you'll find that over the months ahead people will start coming to you.
Speaker 1:What are you doing? You look different. You're looking stronger, you're looking fitter. Are you training? What's going on? Your skin looks different. You're looking more ripped and chiseled in the face, and that is when you can start the conversation. But the big thing here is confidence just keeps increasing For me. Around this point I started thinking about okay, if I can stop drinking, I've got this massive win under my belt and then I can actually start a new business. It goes well. I'm focused, I'm doing what I need to do. What else can I do Now? For me, that turned into moving to Thailand, starting an online business, starting SoberClearcom, working with people helping them stop drinking. But you just keep stacking the wins and things just keep getting better. Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking Podcast by Sober Clear. If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit wwwsoberclearcom.
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