Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear
The Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear is here to help you stop drinking alcohol and achieve the life of your dreams. We want to support people getting sober so they can get on with their life without feeling miserable. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, head over to https://www.soberclear.com/
Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear
12 Questions To Quit Alcohol (Without AA/Willpower/Therapy)
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Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol free. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, then head over to wwwsoberclearcom. If you're thinking of stopping drinking alcohol, the 12 questions that I'm going to get you to answer in this video today could change the way that you view alcohol forever. So if you've tried to stop drinking in the past and failed, or if you've been finding it difficult, or if you're already sober and you've got some momentum and you want to take it to another level, then you definitely want to watch this video. If you want to skip to the first question, there's timestamps down below, but what we've done is we've created a free worksheet. If you click the link down below, you can download a PDF, and then feel free to print off this PDF and follow along with the video, or just get yourself a pen and paper and just write it out as we go along through the questions. Now, before we get into the first question, let me just go back a little bit to explain the method behind the madness. So a quick introduction my name is Leon Sylvester. I'm the founder of SoberClearcom and we're a coaching company that uses this totally new method to help people get control of their drinking. Our method is scientifically validated by an academic psychologist. If you go on Google Scholar you can find his scientific report. Our method works quickly. We do get people get results in under 24 hours. It's rare, but it sometimes happens. Most people are taking around two to seven days and the most important thing is what we do is completely different to everything else out there. Why? Because it's all built on a foundation of changing your worldview. This might feel a bit off topic, but if I can explain the method that we use, then the questions are going to make so much more sense and you'll see how the questions fit into the bigger picture of helping you get control of your drinking.
Speaker 1:So what we do in the program and what we're going to do in this video is use something called first principles thinking. See, when most people try and stop drinking alcohol, what do they do? They reason from analogy, and what this means is they make quick decisions. So, for example, you might be choosing a new mobile phone and rather than go and look at every detail of every phone. You just go brand new iPhone, give me the latest model done. All your friends have got an iPhone. You've had iPhones in the past and you make a quick decision. You don't need to go and research the camera, the battery life, how it compares to an Android, you just make a quick decision. And this is reasoning from analogy. It's a mental shortcut that we use because we have to make so many decisions every day. If we were to use first principles thinking for every decision in our life, we'd crumble.
Speaker 1:A lot of people, when it comes to investing, they reason from analogy. They just buy the S&P 500. That's it. But reasoning from analogy is normal. We do it, everybody does it. But when it comes to solving problems, a lot of the times it doesn't work. See, when you use first principles thinking, what you have to do is break the problem down into its component parts. So literally, think about the S&P 500. You've got the 500 biggest companies in America and if you were to do first principles thinking, that would mean going and studying every single company in that portfolio and understanding every component part of the problem. And if you did that, you'd understand the S&P 500 way deeper than everybody else. The thing is is what's the point? Somebody else has already done the work for you. You just invest in the index.
Speaker 1:However, when it comes to alcohol, that is a problem that so many of us have for decades. Yet what we do is we reason from analogy. So what that means is that we go to society and we say how do we stop drinking alcohol? And what does society reflect back to us? Why don't you drink less? You just need to fight the urge. I stopped with willpower. Ah, maybe you're an alcoholic. Come to an AA meeting. Let me show you what that's all about. Not for you. You need a rehab. These are the kind of things that get thrown at us and that's fine, right. For some people, they take that approach and they don't drink.
Speaker 1:But if that method's failed you, then maybe you need to go to that new level. You need to go to that new level of understanding where you can develop a new paradigm and listen. It's hard work. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of time to study. It takes a lot of time to really get your head in the game and understand things. But the hardest thing is you need to see what the blocks are in your head. Because once you know the blocks, once you know the issues that you're actually facing not the ones that society are telling you that you're facing, the ones that you're actually facing then you can address them. And that is the purpose of this video and the worksheet that we're about to complete. We are going to use first principles, thinking we're going to start breaking the problem down into its component parts, so then you can identify the blocks. Then you can go out on your own, go and study them, put them back together and create that new paradigm.
Speaker 1:And once you do that, stopping drinking becomes the easiest thing that you'll ever do in your life. It'll be as easy as brushing your teeth. It's a simple, logical decision that you just make once and then do the thing. I'm sure in the morning you don't wake up and then walk to the toilet and get your toothpaste on your toothbrush and then think, ah, do you know what? I'm not going to do it. I might do it tomorrow. Maybe I should brush my teeth only half today. No, you don't do that, you just do the damn thing. That's how it feels with alcohol once you see it for what it is. So again, you can either get a pen and paper. You can take some notes, or you could just go and get the worksheet, the PDF, or make a Google Doc.
Speaker 1:The first question to ask yourself are you ready to change and why? Why is the most important question you can ask yourself, and nobody else can do this work for you. You need to come up with some reasons why you're doing this Stopping drinking for the sake of stopping drinking. I mean, what's the point If you just want to stop drinking and change nothing and watch Netflix all day and everything stays the same? I don't want to be too cynical and too pessimistic, but you might as well drink Like what's the point? You want to go and really start to reflect on the role that alcohol has in your life, and the best thing you can do here is just write. Write as quickly as you can. Don't think too much. Just start blasting the page. Don't procrastinate and stare at the blank page. Just put the pen down or start typing Whatever comes to your head. Just start writing.
Speaker 1:If you're not ready to change, continue with the rest of the questions. If you feel on the fence, it's normal. Maybe you're in a place where you're thinking I could drink less, I could control it. That's fine. Just write it down, but really focus on why you want to change your relationship with alcohol. And the whole purpose of this first question is just to get you thinking, get you moving, because now we're going to go to another level with the second question.
Speaker 1:The second question is what pain is alcohol causing in your life? If you can come up with 10 ways that alcohol causes pain in your life, that will be so helpful and that will be an asset to you as you go through this journey. If you can always remember the pain that alcohol caused when you stopped drinking and you're three months sober, six months sober, and you forget about the pain, you can always look back to this list. So, even if you're quite new to this journey, I'd recommend doing this. For me it stays fresh in my memory because I've had so many damn failed attempts to stop drinking in the past.
Speaker 1:I don't need reminding of this, but in my journey, in my life, alcohol was making me lethargic. Right, I'd put on weight, I was bloated. It was affecting my relationships with my family. I couldn't hold down a romantic relationship. I say that quietly because my wife might hear me. I'm in the lounge and she's over there. But I couldn't do that. But I couldn't do these things when I was drinking. Actually, we're not quite married yet, 22 days and counting. Maybe by the time this video gets published we're married.
Speaker 1:But anyway, write down how alcohol is causing pain in your life. How is it making you feel, how is it making you look and just write down as many things as you can. I think 10 would be a perfect aim here. Number three, question three who does your drinking impact other than yourself? Now, what I mean here is you don't want to think okay, if I drink alcohol, then I don't know, I'm going to influence my friends to drink, or let's not think about that.
Speaker 1:When you drink alcohol, what message does that send to the people that you love? So I have a younger brother. My brother is 18. He's actually with us right now. He's come to stay for a month before he goes to college, to university, and because he's done so well with his schoolwork, we've decided to invite him to come and stay for a month and have a holiday before he has to go to college, go to university.
Speaker 1:When I was drinking alcohol, I wasn't setting the right example to him. Sure, drinking, drinking was impacting my life. But don't you have people in your life that look up to you, people that might be your friends, your family, people that you want to set an example for? Ask yourself how the drinking impacts them, because here's the thing that people don't realise Everybody knows about your drinking. If you drink, we all think that we can keep it secret and nobody really knows what we're doing. But everybody knows. So, even if you think you've got it under control and nobody really knows about the issue, are you really setting the example that you want to set in your life? This is a painful place to go in your mind. Now I'm going to ask one more kind of negative question and then we're going to transition the video. But let's just go one step deeper and then we'll get a bit more optimistic. But if you keep drinking alcohol, where do you see yourself in the next three years? And if you feel like three years isn't going to be that bad, just extend the time horizon 10 years, 20 years.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure that if I continued drinking alcohol, I might have had 15 years left. The way that I used to drink is I would binge drink and I would make the most ridiculous life decisions ever. Not everybody's like that. A lot of the people that I work with in my coaching program. They're chronic drinkers. They've drank a sustained amount, a large amount of alcohol for multiple decades. And I asked them this question where's this going? Are you really waiting to get that phone call from the doctor saying cirrhosis of the liver, my cancer diagnosis? And I hate talking about this stuff, but it really is life or death. Alcohol is one of the biggest killers in the world. It kills millions of people and I don't want to come across as too harsh, but nobody is immune to this. I've had people in my life, in my family, where alcohol killed them. They drank themselves to death. Anyway, write it down.
Speaker 1:Let's go into the fifth question. Ask yourself this what value do you think alcohol adds to your life? So, for example, if you think that after a hard day of work you get home and alcohol helps you relax, write it down. If you think alcohol makes you socialize, makes you more funny, write it down. And if you're kind of past this idea of alcohol adding value in your life and you're just kind of at the end of the road and you're like man, this stuff sucks, write it down Because something is holding you back, otherwise you wouldn't drink.
Speaker 1:And once you've got this picture of the way that you think alcohol adds value in your life, ask yourself how can you change these beliefs, how can you reframe them, how can you replace this with a better paradigm and a better worldview? Where could you find new sources of information to combat these ideas and these beliefs that you've got, so you can start to see alcohol for what it is, so you can see it as a poison, as ethanol, as this addictive, carcinogenic drug, and see it as something that adds nothing to your life, because reframing these beliefs will change everything. Maybe, for you, you're going to find it in stop drinking books. Maybe for some people, they find it in AA with a therapist. I'm not here to bash every other program in the world. All I'm trying to do is share my experience, my paradigm, my worldview, and for some people, they want to learn about that, which is why they either continue watching the YouTube channel, they subscribe or they work with me.
Speaker 1:So, number six what's the biggest challenge you think that you'll face? Maybe it's in your relationships. Maybe it's cravings. Maybe it's just thinking, oh, screw it. Maybe, for you, you're going to do what I did. And the biggest challenge that you'll face. You already know it's not going to be in the first few weeks. You know that you can get a few weeks, but for you it's once the pain has gone away. Then what do you do with that?
Speaker 1:Most of my relapses didn't happen when I felt bad or I was sad or tired or anything like that. A lot of the times it would be when life had started going in the right direction, when I had more money, I had success in a career in my business, my relationships were going well, I had friends, and I'd built all this without drinking. And then I had this great idea of having just one drink. See, that idea of having just one drink was my biggest challenge, and I knew that, which is why I had to make a decision to get it out of my life permanently. So just start writing down some of the challenges now and then start to try and think how you can address those challenges. It sounds savage, but maybe it's your work. Maybe you need a new career, a new job. You need to start positioning yourself in the market a little bit differently. Maybe it's having some really tough, awkward conversations with people.
Speaker 1:Question seven who do you have in your life that can support you? Are there any communities in your area? Do you have friends that you might want to do this with, maybe a spouse? Personally, I'm biased, but I think that we need independent third-party accountability. I have a personal training qualification. I had a successful personal training business. That doesn't mean that I'm immune myself to not going to a gym. I've spent probably $5,000 to $10,000 on personal trainers over the years Because having that appointment on a calendar makes a big difference. If I say to my soon-to-be wife, my fiance, I say, hey, we're going to start this exercise program. Yeah, sure, we'll encourage each other. It's not like we're going to sabotage each other, but sometimes it's not enough. So can you add any support elements? Could you maybe find some third-party help? Maybe it's a therapist or a counsellor, I don't know. But just start writing some ideas down. Question number eight this one is big.
Speaker 1:Ask yourself how confident you feel about making this change. What's a good thing to do here is to put a number on it between one and 10, and then ask yourself if you had 10 out of 10 supreme confidence in making this decision permanent, what would be different For some of us? It's going to be time. We're just going to need to rebuild that trust in ourselves and for others, it's getting some skin in the game. It's actually making a financial investment in something that's in alignment with this decision.
Speaker 1:I'll give you an example. I recently found a YouTube channel I'm not going to talk about the topic, it's very private and I was watching this YouTube channel and I'm thinking man, this guy's good, like what he's teaching I want to apply in my life. And as soon as I realized he had a coaching program, I immediately bought it, because I'd been watching his videos for a few days and I didn't actually do anything with the information. But I knew that if I gave this guy some money, if I got some accountability and some support from him, what I would do is buy into his ideas. And not only did I get the private help, which was super helpful, but then I went on his free stuff and then I started implementing those things. So in my own life that's been huge. Now number nine here's where we're going to start thinking very positively how I've done.
Speaker 1:It is the first four questions are mostly about the pain and the negatives. The next questions are about the transition and really making the change. But now let's talk about what to do next. So question nine what do you want out of life? How do you want your life to look?
Speaker 1:When it comes to this topic of designing a vision, designing your life, there's a really helpful book and it's called Goals by Brian Tracy. It's a classic self-help book, but it gives you some really great frameworks, and what he encourages you to do is, when it comes to really thinking about what it is that you want for your life, is to write without limits. So he just says write down whatever it is that comes to your head. Don't think can I achieve this, can I do this? Because I don't know, maybe you want to write a book and then you start writing down okay, well, I want to be a published author. But then if you let that voice in your head override it of like, well, who are you to be an author? Well, you don't know anything. You need to get a degree first. You need to do this, you need to do that, he says. Ignore that voice, because what it comes to alcohol with question 10.
Speaker 1:If you don't drink for three years, how will your life look? If everything goes exactly as planned? What will life look like three years from today? How will you look when you look in the mirror? What about your relationships? How much money is in your bank? How's your business doing? And one of the most fun things that you can do here is just write an average day in the life of this individual three years from now, the version of you that's been sober for three years. Where are they waking up? Who are they waking up with? What are you doing when you're eating breakfast? When you look out the window, what do you see? When you open your computer or go on your phone, what's there? What are you doing for work? What does a typical day look like? And now what we're doing is, rather than just running away from the pain of alcohol and fixing our worldview, we're now starting to go towards something better. We're starting to design a vision. This is exactly what I did when I just stopped drinking alcohol. I was blessed to join a different coaching program, totally unrelated to stopping drinking, but it was all about this. It was about designing what you want your life to look like and then trying to become the character that would effortlessly achieve this dream.
Speaker 1:The 11th question to ask is what's one area of your life that you could put 100% focus into when you stop drinking. For most people it's probably going to be their physical health, which means getting back to the gym, maybe hiring a personal trainer, getting on some nutrition program, but for others it might be the relationship with their spouse. For others it's going to be their spirituality and reconnecting with God. But write down one area that you can focus on when you stop drinking alcohol and then start to think of some action steps that you can take to start making that a big focus. And finally, the most important question of all, question 12.
Speaker 1:When it comes to your dream and what you want out of life, the question that you want to ask yourself is not how do I get it or what do I need to do. The best question you can ask yourself is who do I need to become? My old mentor used to say if you were the kind of person that could achieve the goals that you have, you'd already have them, which is why you need to just basically kill your current version of you and replace it with the version of you that can effortlessly achieve your dream. For me, that meant learning YouTube, putting myself on the internet, not being afraid of being judged by others. Now this is something that I do in my coaching program. It's the final thing that we do. Is we really design this new identity? So, instead of stopping drinking and making that the focus of our life, we're becoming somebody new. Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking Podcast by Sober Clear. If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit wwwsoberclearcom.
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