10 Things That Made Quitting Alcohol EASY For Me

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Transcript

Welcome And What We Do

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical, and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools, and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol free. If you want to learn more about Stop Drinking Coaching, then head over to www.soberclear.com. In my experience, stopping drinking alcohol was easier than making a sandwich, collecting mail from a mailbox, it was as easy as breathing. There was no conscious effort at all. And there were 10 things that helped me do this just under eight years ago when I stopped drinking. And just so you know, before I stopped drinking alcohol, it wasn't easy. It was the hardest problem I'd ever solved, but the day that I stopped, no effort. So these 10 things could change your life. If we've not met yet, my name is Leon Sylvester. I'm the founder of soberclear.com. We use a scientifically validated approach to help people get control of their drinking in as little as 48 hours. We get a 96% client-rated success rate. There's a scientific report written by an academic psychologist that explains the science behind what we do. And if you want information on that, you can go to soberclear.com or click the link down below to fill in an application, book a short call, and we can figure out if the sober clear system could be the right thing for you.

Getting Honest With Yourself

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Now, number one, the first thing I did was I got real with myself. And what I mean here is I stopped lying to myself, saying that it's it's all okay. Yeah, I drink, yeah, it causes problems, but who cares? See, I remember the day that I stopped drinking alcohol, I was extremely hungover. You could argue that it was a rock bottom moment, but I remember lying in this bed and I reflected and I really thought about where I'd gone because I had this period where I didn't drink alcohol for six, seven, eight months. I built this amazing personal training business and I destroyed everything. I'd run out of money, I was living in my friend's place. This wasn't even my bed, it was my friend's bed when he was on holiday. It was a disaster. And I sat there and I thought, let's just play it out. You're on this life path now where what's gonna happen if you continue? Well, you're probably gonna die in your 40s. And that scared me. But what hit me harder was that I thought I've already peaked. I've already reached the top of where I can reach with this personal training business, which was just a local small business, and now you've ruined it all. You you've gone up and now down, and now you're done. And man, that scared me. That scared me. My biggest fear is dying and being on my deathbed and having my family around me, and I just drank it all away. There's things I want to do in my life, and I'm sure you have things you want to do as well. And I made this link that if I kept drinking alcohol, I was dumb. I was never gonna reach the goals that I had, I was never gonna do anything special or interesting. And in that moment, I realized I had to change. I just stopped the lie, stopped the illusion of alcohol helping me, and got real with myself. Which leads me to

Why Willpower Advice Fails

SPEAKER_00 2:49

the second thing. And the second thing I had to do is I had to ignore the mainstream advice. I had to ignore it. I because I tried it, right? I tried using willpower. That's what everybody told me. Just resist it. Don't go to certain places, don't go to certain bars. Every time I tried that, I'd drink more. I tried going to AA meetings. Again, I stopped drinking for 90 days, but then I didn't want to call myself an alcoholic. I didn't think I had to ask God to help me get through every craving. And then after I stopped attending AA and started drinking again, again, it was more than before. I went to church, I dropped on my knees, I burst into tears one day. Hey, and maybe that is what ended up getting me this solution. I don't know. But what I had to do was just ignore mainstream advice. If people told me stopping drinking was hard or I was an alcoholic or I just needed more willpower, I had to totally ignore them because I tried it so many times and it ended up with the same outcome every single time. Which leads me

Asking Why You Go Back

SPEAKER_00 3:42

to the third thing. I realized I had to do my own critical thinking. I had to do my own analysis of alcohol and the situation. And I had to answer, why do I keep going back to drinking? Time and time again. And I knew that if I could find the answer to that question of why I keep going back to drinking, then I'd almost solve the puzzle. What was it that kept pulling me back? And maybe you need to answer that question as well. In fact, if you've read my book, The 48-hour alcohol reset, that's what we do, is we really break it down and answer that question. Because that leads me to the fourth thing. And what I did, and what I teach people to do in my coaching program, is I broke it down into its first principles. And what this means is I took the problem of alcohol, I broke it down into all of these component parts, and I studied them. I changed my paradigm. I changed my worldview. I ignored mainstream advice and just came to my own logical conclusion. This stuff that I'm putting in my body is not helping. It's adding nothing. And the only reason why I continue to drink is because I'm stuck in this perpetual cycle that never ends. And the only way it ends is if I do. The fifth thing.

First Principles And A New Paradigm

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Once I got clear, when I say clear, I mean it was like a light bulb switch. It wasn't like this feeling of, oh, I think I get it now. No, it was absolute certainty that alcohol was doing nothing for me. Once I was there, I was able to make one decision. Not an attempt, not a trial, not moderation, not stopping for 90 days. No, it was a clear decision. I am no longer putting that in my body. I'm not poisoning myself. I ain't drinking that carcinogen. I'm breaking the cycle and I'm freeing myself. And that was a paradigm shift. That was something that I'd never actually

Making One Final Decision

SPEAKER_00 5:20

done before. I never had the courage to actually make one clear decision. And this time I knew it. I knew it in my bones that I was never drinking again. I even remember because I'd destroyed my life. I was working in a restaurant trying to work myself out of some debt. And I remember talking to one of the staff there saying, I ain't coming out tonight. And he looked at me and he almost like, I don't know, was rude. He he he looked down at me and was like, oh yeah, here we go again. Because I'd tried numerous times and I told people in this restaurant I wasn't drinking, but I didn't make a decision. But because I knew in my bones that that was it, I just was like, okay, I didn't explain myself to anybody, I didn't plead, I didn't say I'm serious this time. I said nothing because I knew I didn't need to. I knew I didn't need to explain myself or justify myself to anybody because I knew in my heart it's over. The battle is finished. But what I did next is even more important than the reframing of alcohol, which leads me

Radical Self-Forgiveness And Vision

SPEAKER_00 6:10

to the sick thing. And the sick thing I did was previous attempts to stop drinking meant that I'd go to the past, right? In AA, you go, you make amendments to people, you take this big inventory of all the bad things you've done. I've heard people say that you should go and work with a therapist, and you know, maybe there are times when that would make sense. But what I had to do was ignore the past. I had to almost have this radical self-forgiveness. I'd made mistakes, I'd done things I wasn't proud of, and had a choice. Do I want to go and apologize to people and say I'm sorry and all of that? Is that what those people really want? Is that what my family wanted? My friends. Maybe some of them might have liked it. But if they're your true friends, they want to see you get better. So what I did instead is instead of making not drinking alcohol this big focus of my life, is I built a vision. I started to ask myself, what do I really want? And in my situation, in my experience, I ended up starting another personal training business. It went well. And then I just said, you know what? I want more. I'm going to go and move to Thailand. I'm going to start an online business. I'm going to learn how to use the internet. And I built this new vision for my life. And now I'm now married. My wife is pregnant. We're about to have a family. And I've got another vision for my life. And I've always got something that I'm trying to work towards. And that helps you. You want something to get you out of bed in the morning that you can go towards rather than just running away from the pain that alcohol has caused in your life. Which leads me to the seventh point.

Taking A Leap Of Faith

SPEAKER_00 7:28

And when I just stopped drinking and I built the personal training business, I was making okay money. But what I had to do was I had to take this leap of faith. I knew that there was this version of me that I had to become, but I had to like let go of so much. I had to let go of my friends in my local area, I had to let go of my clients, the money that I was making, and I had to take a risk. I had to take a leap. And what I needed was I needed this level of confidence in myself that I could figure it out. So when I took this leap, I realized that if I have beaten alcohol truly and have defeated that forever, what else can I do? See, when you have truly made a decision to stop drinking alcohol, it will fill you with a level of confidence that you may not have had before. And that will spill into your entire life. I took a leap of faith and I knew that I could make it work. And if I didn't, at least I've got no regrets. Which leads me to the eighth thing.

Socialising Without Avoidance

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Once I'd taken that leap, one thing I did that was very important was I didn't avoid other people that drank. In that first year of not drinking alcohol, I remember meeting people in Bangkok and they were out drinking. But I'd still go and socialize. In fact, my wife, I met her in a bar and I bought her an alcoholic drink while I was drinking water. I really just lived my life the way I wanted to live it. I didn't avoid people, I didn't avoid bars, I didn't avoid restaurants that served alcohol because I had no desire to drink. It was like I couldn't even see the alcohol. But that communicated to me that I've not given anything up. I'm having a great time. I'm still living a similar lifestyle, although I'm not in Oxford in the freezing cold anymore. But that was a really important thing that actually made stopping drinking

New Role Models Who Do Not Drink

SPEAKER_00 9:00

easier. Now, the ninth thing I did was during the whole time that I drank for, I would make this link in my brain between people that were doing well in life and alcohol. I'd see them as linked. I'd see rich people, successful people, married people, happy people drink alcohol. And one of the things that made stopping drinking so easy was finding new role models and finding people who had a life that I wanted and they didn't drink. And if they did, they drank in tiny amounts. And I had to stop looking at people who had their life together and drank as some ideal that I wanted. Because I know that if I drink alcohol, it's an addictive drug. I'm probably gonna drink more and I'm probably gonna get back to where I was before. So by admiring these people who drank and had their life together, my brain used to play a trick. It would say, Well, if he can do it, if she can do it, you can do it. It's just not the case. But that has tripped me up many times. So I had to find new role models.

How To Get Help Next

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking podcast by Soberclear. If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit www.soberclear.com.