Because I Promised
Because I Promised
Prisoner To The Ugly
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In Episode 20, Curtis and Dinah discuss the dangers of being a Prisoner To The Ugly. And how to get freed from it.
What's going down, people? Thank you so much for joining us on this edition of Because I promised the show where we talk all things marriage, family, and everything in between from a Christian perspective.
SPEAKER_00We're the Wilsons, and we feel that traditional marriage in our society today has been dealt a black eye, and it's no longer a sexy concept. And we want to do everything we can to help heal, enhance, and restore as many marriages and families as possible. So let's get it. Oh, I'm kind right now, huh?
SPEAKER_03Kirk kind today. Give me about uh 20 minutes. Five minutes later. I'll find a way to mess it up. How you guys doing? We are the before-mentioned Wilsons. She's Dinah. Hey guys. And I'm Kirk. Yo, what up? And we just, like we say all the time, we just want to say thank you guys for all the support, the feedback, the good, the bad, the ugly on how we're doing. Remember, we can't grow or get better unless you guys let us know how we're doing. Can't grow if we don't know. Oh man. So you want to tell people how they can reach us to let us know how we're doing?
SPEAKER_00As usual, guys, we can be reached in Facebook at Because I Promised. Uh, that's the letter B. Cuz is the middle name. I promise. Please do hit us up. Leave us comments. Let us know what you're thinking. If you're digging our vibe. Whoa. Uh-huh. Straight out the out the gate, huh? Pew, pew, pew. Whoa. If you're digging our vibe, um, please do let us know there. Or you can reach us in our fancy new email. It's not so new anymore, but it's still fancy. And that's because I promise, spelt just as it should be, 101 at outlook.com.
SPEAKER_03And if you are picking up what we're laying down or digging our vibe, please let somebody know about the show. The show can be found on Apple Podcasts. Remember, the feature must be on in your settings. The podcast feature must be on in your settings on that for Apple users. We can be found in Google Podcasts. You must download the Google bot the Google Podcast app. And we can also be found on Spotify. A little tongue-tied today, I see, huh?
SPEAKER_00Monday they're gonna be able to Google us. We will be Googlable.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's coming.
SPEAKER_00What do you think?
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's coming.
SPEAKER_00Come on, Jesus.
SPEAKER_03It's coming. Well, why don't you tell the people what the title of this show is? Well, we got a good one today.
SPEAKER_00It's always a good one, right? This one is a carryover a little bit from the last show. And it's about your ugly and being a prisoner to it. This one is titled Being a Prisoner to Your Ugly. A prisoner to the ugly. Prisoner to the ugly. Wow. What is the definition of each? We wanted to look up the definition of prison and the definition of ugly. Okay. So let's do prison. Prison is a state of confinement or captivity. That was the best one that described. I love that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I love that particular definition of it. Um, read it one more time. A state of confinement or captivity. The reason I love that so much is because even though when we think of prison, we think of walls and fences with bob wire on it and you know, bars and you know, confinement, physical confinement. But the type of uh imprisonment we're talking about today is a state of mind. Right. So I love that particular definition for prison, you know, being imprisoned imprisoned.
SPEAKER_00Well, let's combine it with the ugly definition. Okay. Unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance. Wow. So you have a state of confinement or captivity in an unpleasant or repulsive, I guess, position, uh-huh, or situation, especially in appearance. Man. That's an adjective. It says there's also another adjective. It says involving or likely to involve violence or other unpleasantness. Man, this is for ugly, right?
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. So if you had to break down what is the ugly, what and I know we broke it down in the the previous show, but for those who haven't w heard the previous show, how would you, and it doesn't need to be the same exact um definition, but how would you break down the ugly?
SPEAKER_00I would say I think as I said last time, I'm I'm gonna s we're gonna go back to the last show and see if it says the same thing, but whenever I think of getting to my ugly, let's make it personal, getting to my ugly, that's getting down to the realest, rawest part of me, of uh the ugliest, the the most uh those ugly character flaws. Yes, those things that you don't want people to see. Get to that part, that part that's being selfish or uh combative, or that part that's angry, the part that envies, the part that's jealous, the part that's you know, all those things that we shouldn't be. We're gonna go over in some of the scriptures that we're gonna read. But those things, those realest raws moments that you just you don't display, that's getting to your ugly. You know, it makes me think owning it, owning it and and getting on the other side of it.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. It makes me think about when let's just say you're going on a on a date with somebody for the first time and you want to, you know, put your best foot forward, you want to show the best part of you. We may hide those things, those physical blemishes, or as best we can. You know what I'm saying? Hide them, not show them. Spanks, you know. You're doing the most. Girdle. Tight shirts, huh?
SPEAKER_00No, no, no, not tight shirts. You had a girdle and a flousy shirt. You know, it has to be breezy, you know, not gathering.
SPEAKER_03You don't want to fit it. We don't want them to know that part. We don't want them to know the other part of us yet that may that we deem may not be as presentable. So we we we doctor up, you know, our presentation of ourselves. And you know what we even do that with our attitudes. You know, going on a date the first time, you don't want to show all of the the you know the things about your your personality, so you're you're putting your best for you.
SPEAKER_00How easily irritated you are, oh yes, or you know, something like that.
SPEAKER_03But as a you know, if you get into a serious relationship, marriage, um and as you move forward, we these things, these um attitudes, these traits, they tend to come out. They will come out. Absolutely. You know what I'm saying? And that's where we have to deal, you know. Be in in a last time when we were talking about this, we were talking about owning up to your ugly. But what do you do when whether you realize it or not, you're imprisoned to the ugly. The ugly has you confined. Right. You know, that's what we want to deal with today because sometimes it's it's hard to get to the ugly. Sometimes we are really chained by the ugly. Um I'm always intrigued. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00It's a free thing though when you own it. That that's the freedom.
SPEAKER_03Owning it. But you need humility to that. Yeah, you do. I just did a I just hit you with a the PFFT. Yeah. Sometimes the journey is getting there. If you can get there, if you can deal with it, then you can experience the freedom, especially for those of us who are in Christ, right? Because that's what God came to do is to set us free, you know, from these things, to set us free from those chains. But one thing I find is that Christians are not exempt from being imprisoned. Right. I'll we're human. I'll put one out there uh for myself, um, just to be transparent.
SPEAKER_00Transparency.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, a little transparency moment. Um growing up the way I did, you know, and I I I I believe this for a lot of kids who are firstborn. Okay, there's nobody there to emulate. There's nobody there to, you know, not like a younger brother, you know, or younger sister, or older brother, older. Older brother, older sister, you know, someone who can protect you or look out for you. So a lot of things you're figuring out, you know, by yourself. Yeah. I'm not saying this is exclusive to them. But um, you know, I noticed like even in my own sister, and she's three years younger than me, and I see this a lot in siblings where there's a younger sis, uh younger sibling, where the younger sibling sometimes will have just an extra dose of confidence, uh extra dose of that it factor that you may not always see in the in the in the oldest child, right? Right. I know that it's not you know uh absolute, but I see that characteristic a lot when it comes to siblings. And so for me, I know that I was one who kind of grew up um just in in the way my situation was, you know, I I grew up, I didn't grow up with my biological mom, you know, in no insult to nobody, you know. My parents did the absolute best they could, and I I have no complaints. Absolutely, right? But um, I didn't grow up with her, and I have a great relationship with her to this day. I um I grew up with my father for the most part, my grandparents, then my father and my step, you know, you know, I don't like that word. I like using that word, I know. Right. So I grew up in that household, you know, and I had, you know, my own little emotional challenges from time to time. I didn't realize it, but I was, you know, it's like, you know, what's different about me, or you know, why am I not in this situation? I've questioned, I've had those questions before.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03And one of the things that became a comfort for me was food. Okay. Um, as strangely, as strange as it may sound, or maybe not as strange to some, um, I found a comfort in food. I I spent a lot of time in my grandparents' house. Uh, food was something that was nostalgic for me. It was great food over there.
SPEAKER_00It was good food over there.
SPEAKER_03Man, that's where I that's where I learned the 11th commandment. Thou shalt not put sugar in thy grits. Stop.
SPEAKER_00But don't receive that people. We receive it. Sugar goes on grits. Sugar kills more people.
SPEAKER_03And rice. Sugar kills more people. Get at us. Sugar kills more people than anything else on the face of the earth.
SPEAKER_00And rice. We're gonna take a poll. What do you think, people? Does sugar go on your grits? In your grits?
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, that's so sacrilegious.
SPEAKER_00On your rice, yes.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, food was something that was very nostalgic for me. It it you know it brought back good memories. But what I learned is over the years, I would eat whether I was happy, whether I was sad, whether I was, you know, anxious, whatever it was, it was always kind of a comfort for me.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03Which in turn led to an issue of gluttony. But here's where it got interesting because uh being gluttonous didn't just um show itself in food. Okay. It was when you got money in your pocket, you couldn't resist it. You had to go spend something, you had to go buy, you had to go buy something to eat, or burning a hole in your own. Burning a hole in your pocket, um, had no patience, couldn't wait for this, didn't understand about delay to save delay gratification, you know, all of these different things from this one particular a little leaven. Right, right because what you didn't because there was nobody at that time that could ease the the or calm the the fears or the you know insecurities at that time that I may have been dealing with, right? You know, not saying that they were outwardly shown, but you know, more of the inward thing, right? I kind of turned to this issue of food. And therefore, that was one thing, and it wasn't about the food more so than the adversary really trying to get me caught up in the issue of being gluttonous, you know, and even if or to have no self-control, yes, no self-control, no patience, no um delayed gratification, which is also self-control, you know. Right. Um, you know, all of these type of things, and this is just me self, you know, analyzing my own self. I'm pretty sure it can be a little deeper, but I just wanted to put that out because that is one of the things that I've you know had to struggle with over the years to control that because I can I I distinctively can hear in my voice go get you something to eat, go do this. Go even when I wasn't hungry, you know what I'm saying? Go just go.
SPEAKER_00And as those I've seen you on the phone and you're just having chip after, and you're not really hungry, you just had dinner, but you're conversating and your hand is just going. And I I I looked at I always thought of it like fuel for the conversation. Because usually you're having big conversations, you're either talking about this subject or you're counseling with someone and you're just I'm like you're fueling the situation, but it could also be, you know, a a habit. But this is a great point.
SPEAKER_03This is a great point because you know, whether it's some chips with a certain type of salsa that I like, or oh my gosh. Oh boy. Uh what do you call those? A tube or whatever of saltine crackers, or you know, how they'll have the four-pack and you pull out a tube. Is it called a tube? A sleeve, a tube, yeah, whatever. Something. And oh man, you get me some medium to sharp cheddar cheese already shredded. It doesn't, you know, it as a matter of fact, it doesn't matter if it's shredded or not. Yeah, you'll cut I've seen you cutting cheese. I'll get a knife, and what I'll do is I'll I'm on the phone or I'm not paying attention, and I will just go cracker and cheese, I just cracker after cracker after cracker, and next thing you know, I've eaten half the sleeve. But I'm glad you brought this point up because I don't like to do that, and then I notice once I'm done, it's almost like I was intoxicated. I mean, I was in full control, but it's it it was like a form of intoxication in the sense that once I was done and now I'm sober, I always say, why didn't you? Why did I do that? Yeah, why why did I eat all those crackers? Why did I do that? You know, or oh, crackers with peanut butter on them. Will you stop with the crackers? Or if it's gourmet crackers, then it's deli meat on it. Deli meat. Smoked ham. But it would be one after the other. No salami, stop it.
SPEAKER_00No salami. No salami. The pepperoni thing with the cheese. No, I that little Italian package.
SPEAKER_03No, I would have it. I it is too much for me to pull out, you know, because I'm gonna pull out each one of the little pepper. I'm gonna pull out the peppercorns out of it. So now it's gonna spend me three minutes pulling out all the peppercorn before I can eat it. So no. It's smoked turkey, smoked ham, you know, uh honey-baked ham or something like that. And those are great snacks. Um nobody's saying anything about snacks. The point is, especially if I'm trying to eat healthier or or trying to do better and not to allow my flesh to dictate what I do when I do and how I do it. When I would do those things, to this day, I literally will say, What happened? Why did I do that? Because I don't like that. That's something that I have to fight against at all times. If not, it can control me, you know. And so I I think that was just a great point that you brought up, you know. But um, to move forward, I've always been intrigued in how the mind works, you know. Um when you look at this issue of imprisonment, right? A slave to the ugly, imprisoned by the ugly. I've always been intrigued by like how people who may have grown up in a home where alcoholism, and then once again, this is not an absolute, but people who grew up in a home where alcohol alcoholism was big, and then they turn out to be an alcoholic or a drug addict, or people who were molest molested or raped become promiscuous. Right. You know, or people who grew up in a home where emotionally it was just bankrupt, and how as now their adults they become emotionally bankrupt with their family members, absolutely their parents or children or husband, spouse. Absolutely. I've always been not always, but as long as I can think of you know, remember, I've been intrigued by those dynamics and how that happens. You know, I even have traits, you know, good and not all that positive that I noticed like for you know, for instance, was I was wondering if I was gonna have another transparency moment. I I was listening. I I feel one coming on. I was gonna reserve that. Oh, you're gonna reserve that. Yeah, I'm gonna reserve that. Oh, I thought it was on its way. But I will say that, you know, things that I picked up, you know, good and indifferent with that I saw in in some of those characteristics, I'm the same way. I'll I'll be a little transparent real quick. Come on, free yourself. You notice how when the family is around, you know, everybody's over, all the daughters, grandkids, everybody's over, we're having a good time. How comfortable am I to just go in the room and hang out on my bed?
SPEAKER_00Very.
SPEAKER_03Very, yeah. I don't like it, and I but I I have to fight against that because I'm kind of a loner. I you know, as much as I'm outward, you know, I can, you know, be involved.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03I'm happy just knowing that everybody's here.
SPEAKER_00But you don't have to be in the middle of it.
SPEAKER_03I don't have to be in the middle of it, but it's more it's more.
SPEAKER_00No. And you're, you know, no, because you're outnumbered. No. I've been around you guys.
SPEAKER_03Even your cat and your dog. I've been around you guys all my life, so it's not a problem. I think it's more so a pattern on how I saw it done. You know, my grandfather was kind of a loner.
SPEAKER_00My so whenever gatherings happened at your grandparents' house, uh, grandpa was kind of like off somewhere exactly watching a game while everyone was socializing in the kitchen or dining room or something.
SPEAKER_03Doing whatever, right? He wasn't always engaged, right? And I I spent a lot of time over there.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03But it what I'm saying is where you're like kind of like the life of the party and everything centers around you when everybody gets together. Come on now, everybody.
SPEAKER_00It's not a center. Don't put that out to the people. It doesn't center around me. Still said it. And then life does not revolve around me. Okay. BIP family does not revolve around me.
SPEAKER_03You hear how I'm saying me? BIP family. Let me tell you something. All roads lead back to Mrs. Wilson in our home. You hear the you guys hear the hesitation. The hesitation, right? The stumbling.
SPEAKER_00That's that's not altogether true.
SPEAKER_03But what I'm saying is another BIP. That's what I'm saying is that's a that comes so much easier for me. Right. You know, and I notice it and I fight against it. Not it's not a big fight, but I'm like, no, get out there, hang out. You know, your family is not all the way over. You know, don't get me wrong, I love when we're having dinner and all of that kind of stuff. But um I hear what you're saying. Yeah, you know, it's like I'm kind of you you know me. I can go to the airport by myself and watch airplanes take off. I can go to the beach by myself. True story. I can go out to get I can go out to a restaurant by myself and I'm very comfortable in that situ in that scenario, that situation. That comes more natural to me than the other does. Right. So it's something that I kind of have to fight against, you know. Okay. Not a big embrace. Yeah, you know, but I've I've always been intrigued by this this this this this thing here of how the very thing that you don't like or that you despise, you can end up becoming that very thing, you know. The scriptures talk about that over in Romans. We don't have to go there right now. And I want to explore, I want us to explore how that happens, you know, see if we can give some clarity, some light.
SPEAKER_00So some of the situations, how it's easier to be depressed rather than to trust the Lord. Absolutely. Or to maneuver in fear rather than to be brave.
SPEAKER_03Right, or yeah, or brave or even trust the Lord, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or how about to be anxious rather than to rest. Yes.
SPEAKER_03It is much easier to do that.
SPEAKER_00It really is. Yeah, you could also get lost in the doing of anxiety, like I'm I'm instead of calming yourself, being uh let me see how can I say this. Instead of doing the right thing, which is finding your sinner in Christ and writing. Resting and praying, doing those type of doings, you find yourself focused on uh so focused and like that's your doing. I'm focused and I'm worried and I'm I'm considering and I'm I'm thoughty about this thing. And then you wear yourself out tired. You haven't helped the situation any. You've worn yourself weary, and you still end up praying. Anger. You still end up, you know, in the position where you could have found yourself in the beginning. A position of prayer.
SPEAKER_03Anxiety and depression, these two are so interesting because sometimes you don't need a direct um issue to focus your anxiety on. Anxiety and depression are very interesting in the sense that you don't need a direct item to focus on or issue or situation to focus on. Okay. Just fear of the future, always fearing that something is gonna happen, or you know, some some some bad scenario, or you know, just a constant living in fear of what can happen, even though it hasn't happened. Right. Or depression can get you in too focused on the past, what you didn't do, what you didn't accomplish, um, um, what didn't happen for you, why you didn't do this, or whatever, and you can be too focused on what you should have done or what you should be doing, which can now make you depressed. These items don't you don't need a specific um um situation or issue to focus in on, you know, it you can have a overall fear of the future, right, of future problems, and um you can also have uh um be depressed over past um things that you never accomplished or whatever. So those two are real tricky right there, you know. Man, you know, and that's why some people they get caught in chronic anxiety or chronic depression, you know, and can't get past it because they can't they can't even find what is it that I'm I'm focused on. These are things that are real tricky. You had a um one or two more um items.
SPEAKER_00Uh we were going to say you can um instead of turning to prayer like we should for anxiety or fear or those things, you can turn to sex, drugs, or alcohol instead of, or rather than uh being sober-minded or putting your flesh in subjection and other situations that can imprison you, guilt. You were just touching on that. Um can't let go. Yeah, guilt of something in the past. Um, we were reading about David and Uriah or you know, uh doing extreme. We we were thinking of some throwing some extreme uh measures of guilt that could be thrown out. Like if uh the oh remember the story when you took one of our daughters on a uh well it wasn't a story, it was an actual situation. But he took one of our daughters on it. Yeah, yeah, you're you're a better storyteller.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. I I was just right there. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_02That's why this is oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03So I took one of my baby daughters with me on a driving on a job that I had. You know, I'm a truck driver. And I was going to Vegas. How old was she? About maybe four or five. Mm-hmm. Um she was very young in the city.
SPEAKER_00I'd I'd say between five and seven. Okay. Maybe because she oh no, but remember they had track schooling. So yeah, I would still say between five and seven.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, so I decided you know, I was um we live in Southern California, and I had to take a trip to um Las Vegas, Nevada. And, you know, that's a turnaround trip. It's three hours up, three hours back, and um three and a half hours up, three hours and a half hours back. And so I took one of our daughters with us on this one trip. And so we got there, dropped off the load, and I had to go to this other facility to pick up a load. And she had fallen asleep um in the back in the bed that was, you know, in the cab of the truck, right? The sleeper. And I'm like, I don't want to wake her up. I'm just gonna go in the you know, the the bill of the room to get our our bill of lading. I'm just gonna go in there real quick, get my paperwork, and I'll be back out. Right. So, oh God, I can't believe I did this. Um, I left her in the truck asleep. I walked in, and maybe five three minutes later, four or five minutes, three to five minutes later, another driver I knew, um, because he picked up loads at the same place, right, walked in with my daughter in his hand. Oh my gosh. And what happened was oh, she woke up and she started to cry, and so he got her out of the truck. And so you guys can just think of all of the possibilities of what could have happened, and you know, in a situation like that.
SPEAKER_00In an extreme situation like that, if someone had taken our daughter. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03I to this day I've I still she's 24 now. Yeah, she's 24 now, and that still breaks my heart the lapse of judgment that I've had at that moment.
SPEAKER_00And I wouldn't have known which direction to go into the search. And just this is very extreme, and that that's why we went to that far of the story. Yes, it did, and it does. It does happen, people. Yes, and and that would truly be a a guilt that would imprison you. Oh just the thought of it tends to make you cringe, you know.
SPEAKER_03This show right here is this is a show that's designed for um unmarried, those who are considering marriage, or and those who are married, because these issues of imprisonment, emotional imprisonment, affects, you know, some of these situations can affect you from the time that you're a little, you know, you're young, very young, you know, and that you carry it all the way into your your your adulthood. But even in that issue of guilt, like you were just talking about, I don't know how outside of the grace of God I would have forgiven myself for a five-minute lapse of lapse in judgment, you know, that I that I shared at that moment, you know, that I experienced at that moment. And there are people out there who are experiencing those type of uh issues, and those they may be extreme for some, but they are real for others, you know. Right where you accidentally cause somebody to get hurt, you know, in a car accident, or you may have accidentally caused the death of somebody, or you know, you saw something going down and you didn't speak up. Um, you know, whatever the thing is that's causing this guilt, you know, you didn't you were a you weren't a good parent, you know, and now you're seeing the results in your children, you fill in the blanks. The issue here is God has something to say to each and every one of us about this because He wants to set us free from these issues. So, like we always say, nothing matters more than what the Word of God has to say on this issue. And we're just gonna warn you guys, we have quite a few scriptures on this topic because we believe this topic is so important that we want to get we want to get some good godly word in you, you know. Amen. One or two scriptures is just not they can they can do it, but we want to show you just how much God really thinks about this issue of imprisonment and how the ugly can imprison you and what he has to say about it. So, like we said, nothing matters more than what the word of God has to say on this issue. So let us pray. Father God, Lord, we thank you, we love you, we praise you. Father God, Lord, this is such a serious topic that we pray that for those who are out there, Father God, Lord, who are imprisoned, Father God, Lord, to their ugly, that Father God, Lord, that some chains will be broken, some walls will fall down, some fences will be cut open, Father God, Lord, so that we can walk through um these issues that want to keep us held down because you came to set us free, Father God, Lord, from anything that would want to keep us captive. So we just thank you, we praise you, we love you in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Babe, before you go to the scriptures, can you tell the people that example you told me about how you enviewed prison? I thought that was so excellent.
SPEAKER_00Oh, um, I was in my head, we were discussing our our show today, and in my head as he was talking, which you guys can hear, he does so very well, and so very much.
SPEAKER_03That's that's what she really wanted to say.
SPEAKER_00And so I had to start off with so very well and so very much. No. I'll be quiet for the rest of the show. Stop, no, stop. Then then the show will be quiet. Stop it. Um, I was envisioning like men on in the yard at a at a prison yard. You know how you see it on TV, and you usually see, you know, the guards and a high post, and there's a fence and barbed wire and everything. I'm seeing the post in this vision, but there's no wires. There's no fence. But the men are choosing to stay in prison. Now they can walk straight through uh it's a it's like a circled kind of encampment. And in their prison area, it's dry, it's dusty, it's just it's awful, but it's what they've been used to. But just outside of the post, the posts were there, but the gate wasn't. No walls, no gates, no. No gate, no glass, no bars, no no. No buildings, nothing. Just green, lush land, just you know, but they won't read the water. Ready for the taking, you know, just beautiful, but they won't walk past they chose not to walk past the post. It was it was their choice to to stay. That that's kind of how I saw it.
SPEAKER_03No, that was such an excellent example because that's what imprisonment to the ugly really looks like. There's nothing you holding you back physically from the freedom. It's there for you. Just walk out of the yard. Right. And there's no walls, there's no no no bars, there's it's what you know though.
SPEAKER_00That that was the bad part. It was what they were used to, it's what they knew, it's what they grew up in, or what they had spent the long period of time in. So they just wouldn't walk beyond the post.
SPEAKER_03That's what we want to see happen, is that in our relationships, because these things do affect um those who we love. And we must remember for those who are imprisoned to something, you have to remember this. Imprisonment does love, it's like misery. It loves company. You know, and so therefore, right?
SPEAKER_00The ugly loves the ugly company. Loves company. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03And so it will want to draw others into your you will want to draw others into your ugly, if not careful. So we all absolutely got to be careful that I thought that was such an excellent example, man, of what happens to us emotionally.
SPEAKER_00Oh man. Anyway, okay, you got some scriptures for you. Scripture number one is going to be found in Romans. Romans 8, uh, verse 13. It says, For if you live according to the flesh, you will die. But if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
SPEAKER_03Man, that is so true. That is so true. We must, those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and anybody can accept it. God died for all. All we have to do is confess Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. We're gonna get that gospel.
SPEAKER_00Come on now, this prison of ugliness.
SPEAKER_03Recognize that you are a sinner, you don't have to and that you are a slave to sin, and no sinner will go to heaven. Sinners go to that hot place that's down below, and they will be there for eternity. But you can have Florida, you're crazy. But you can have eternal life through Jesus Christ and be with the Lord forever. And so for those of us who put away the deeds of the flesh and walk after the Spirit of God, that's where life is. Amen. So every imprisonment that you have emotionally, you know, all that ugly. All that ugly.
SPEAKER_00Whenever you're ugly, guess what?
SPEAKER_03It's only in your flesh. But he that is greater is that the the greater one lives in you and tells you that you can have power over that. So just remember this: every ugly, everything that's ugly only can live in your flesh. That's the only place that it can be empowered. So let your mind be on those things above.
SPEAKER_00All right. Well then you're just ushering us into the next scripture. The next scripture is in Galatians chapter 5, 19 through 26. It says, Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murder, drunkenness, revelries, and the like, of which I tell you beforehand, just as I told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, strongness, kindness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ have crucified the flesh with his passions and desires. If we live in the spirit, let us also walk in the spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
SPEAKER_03This is so important. I love that God gave me this revelation of in regards to the truth of his word. That if you notice the flesh, Jesus did not come to die for the flesh. Okay. When Jesus came to die, he came to die for us. The, you know, because as humans, we are made up of flesh, but we are also made up of what? Spirit. Okay. So our spirit man, who is who we really are, you know, when I look at this beautiful specimen right here, I'm you really want me to? No. Okay. I gotta sound modest.
SPEAKER_00When I look at this gorgeous hot.
SPEAKER_03I gotta sound like I'm modest, spicy, beautiful, sexy, you know, you should see my hands, guys. I'm like, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. No, it's flowers and foot rubs. Come on now. But when I look at her, I have to understand this is a shell. This is a this is you know, this skin, this bones, this pretty face. This is just the outer part of her.
SPEAKER_00But it's a snappy attitude?
SPEAKER_03No, that's inward.
SPEAKER_00I tried. I tried. Does this snappy attitude get a pass? No, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_03Like a snapping turtle.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay. Those things are mean. Anyway. Stop. Those are my people. No. Snapping turtles? I'm kidding. I'm talking about my attitude.
SPEAKER_03So corny. Anyway, she's on the inside, you know. Right. And that's what, you know, where you see the beautiful side of a person, it's the inward parts of the person. But here's the issue your flesh dies, but you go to either heaven or hell. Now, here's the interesting thing. For a Christian, even you know how it says, if you do the deeds of the flesh, you shall die, right? Right. It's talking about for those who are unbelievers, right?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03But here's the thing. For a Christian, a believer in Christ, this flesh can still behave itself as if it does not know Christ. It's actual desires in the flesh, which are through lust and remember what that that uh was. Remember what that saying was about.
SPEAKER_00I thought you were talking about the ego and oh yeah, your ego is not your amigo. It is not your ego is not your amigo.
SPEAKER_03But your what I'm saying is that your flesh only wants to do bad, it only wants those things that lead to death, and that's why God says, You must put away the deeds of the flesh, because now that you belong to me, I have empowered you to put away the deeds of the flesh. But you must choose to do that. So even though you are saved, even though you are renewed, you have an enemy, which is the flesh, that wants to do the opposite of what God wants you to do. And that's where the ugly lives.
SPEAKER_00All right.
SPEAKER_03I hope that made some sense.
SPEAKER_00I'm telling you, everything you're saying is just ushering us into the next scripture. Well, praise God for that. I know, God is good. Didn't even rehearse that part. Philippians 2, 5 through 8. It says, Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bond servant, and coming in the likeness of men, and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even to the death of the cross.
SPEAKER_03He says, Let this mind be in you. I love that. We don't glock, you know, we can't just run over that. What mind is he talking about that he wants us to have? What mind does he mindset does he have that he wants us to have? Exactly. He wants us to have the mindset of a bond servant, you know, which means a servant that is bonded to a master, you know. This is who I serve, you know. So he's saying God is saying that he is he's a good father, and he wants us bonded to him.
SPEAKER_00Not to your not to your guilt or to your not in prison, to your whatever your thing is, your vice is, be in prison, be a bond servant to Christ.
SPEAKER_03You know what's beautiful about a bond servant? They put what they want aside, and their job is to do what the master wants needs for them to do. They're the needs of the master are more important than their needs. Right. And so if you focus on the things of God, you know, which is he says his burden is easy and his yoke is light. If you focus on him and you have you're doing it with humility, you're doing it to where you are not looking at yourself until the point of obedience, to the end of your life. Guess what? I don't have time to focus on my issues. To be in prison. I don't have time to, I have work to do. Yeah. So he's saying, let this mind of service and servitude be unto the Father. Let that mind that I have be also in you. And when you do that, guess what? It is job, God's job to come in to untangle and unravel and heal and fix all of those issues that we all of the ugly that we have inside. Because what did he say? He said he is the author and the finisher and the perfector, depending on what version you read, amen. Of our faith. So he's gonna correct all of that if we focus on him and not on what's you know keeping us held back. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00All right, Romans 6, 6 and 7. It says, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be the old man. Okay, that old man, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin or slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03That deserves a read back.
SPEAKER_00All right, Romans 6, chapter 6, verses 6 and 7. It says, Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be done away with.
SPEAKER_03Stop right there. All right. He's saying that because we Have accepted Jesus Christ, we are no longer slaves to the old man. That man has died. And so when you ask the question, well, how is it that we still, even as believers, are imprisoned to sin, uh imprisoned by these issues, which are sin? It's because this old ugly, dirty flesh wants to rise up. Remember, guys, it says that the flesh lusts against the spirit, and the spirit lusts against the flesh. The issue is which one are you gonna let have control? God says that the old man has died. It died with him when you when you accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. That's what he said, right? That's what it says. So we know what he wants. So this is something that we must focus on when we are coming from under being imprisoned by the ugly. Okay, for continue with the scripture.
SPEAKER_00That we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin.
SPEAKER_03God, and when he says he who has died, he's died to the old man, he's been renewed, he's been renewed, but yet that flesh it wants to it wants to act up. But what we want when we know that something, even if we can't pinpoint yet what it is, is keeping us imprisoned. God says, I don't want you to be a slave to sin.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03You're a child of the father. You don't have to be a slave to sin. Not at all. It's a fight, it can be tough depending on how deep it is. But guess what? You don't call yourself a slave of sin. You don't act like you're a slave of sin. Right. Slave to sin. You are a child of God. So this is what God wants in this issue.
SPEAKER_00Okay, here's a tongue twister for me. And most people who read this get a little tied. So forgive me in advance in case I do. But this is Romans 7, 9 through 25. Y'all know this scripture, the one where you do what you don't want to do and you do what you do to do to do. That one. Here we go.
SPEAKER_03See wise tongue tongue twisted from it.
SPEAKER_00Wait till I start reading it. I was alive once without the law, but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died. And the commandment which was to bring life, I found to bring death. For sin taken occasion by the commandment deceived me, and by it killed me. Therefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy and just and good. Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not, but sin that it might appear sin was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin, for what I am doing I do not understand, for what I will to do, that I do not practice, but what I hate that I do. If then I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good, but now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, nothing good dwells, for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do, but the evil I will not to do that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, is it no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me? I'm sorry, there's the there's the hiccup. It is no longer I who do it, but sin who dwells within me. I find then I find then a law that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good, for I delight in the law of God according to the inward man, but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then when the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
SPEAKER_03Well this right there. Did you get that?
SPEAKER_00Did you understand it?
SPEAKER_03We could spend a whole month on this.
SPEAKER_00Did I read it right though? Did you understand? You did it. Oh, those do's and don'ts.
SPEAKER_03You did excellent.
SPEAKER_00My lord.
SPEAKER_03But we can spend so much time. We can do the whole show. We can do a week a month's worth of show on this scripture, right? But what we see here is the struggle between the flesh and the spirit. Your spirit that is renewed wants to do well. Your flesh wants to do bad. Even when you look at that example, like you said, if I'm not paying attention or if I'm just catering to my flesh, I can sit there and almost eat a whole sleeve. Whole sleeve of uh crackers and cheese and whatever. And it's gonna make me feel bad later on and whatever. But in that moment, it's I can't stop it, even though, well, I can, but I have to plan, I have to uh um be sober to not even get started, right? Especially when you're trying to do something, you know, when you're trying to eat healthy or whatever. I'm only using it as an example to say at that moment there is a war between my flesh and my spirit, and it's not until I'm done that I realize, oh my god, what did I just do? Right. You guys fill in the blanks for whatever that is. I'm just giving you guys an example, an analogy to use, you know. And next thing you know, what did I just do? I just wiped out my husband, I just wiped out my child, I just blew up on my spouse, you know. I just did this and I just did that. Why did I these are the things? This is the war that happens because yes, you are renewed, but your flesh did not get renewed, so we must fight to tame it, control it, kill it daily. Paul said die daily to that thing. So that's an excellent scripture, so that we are not slaves to sin, because if you let the flesh rule, you know, with the whole the the flesh lust against the spirit, if you let that flesh rule, it will it it will only lead to death. Right. And death doesn't always mean physical death, it can mean death to a relationship, death to a uh, you know, some, you know, uh what is something else besides a relationship? Death, death to a job, death to uh, you know, mostly relationships like with your your your kids, your spouse. It can lead to some form of death because its desire is to take you and those around it down, and that's why we cannot let the flesh rule.
SPEAKER_00All right. This is our last scripture, chapter, I'm sorry, John is the book, chapter 8, 34 and 36. It says Jesus answered them, Most assuredly I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore, if the son makes you free, come on, you shall be free indeed.
SPEAKER_03I want to address this issue of he who commits sin is a slave to sin. The script is not talking about if you commit a random sin, an act of, you know, some some form of sin. Right. It's more so talking about a lifestyle of sin. A choice of sin. Right. You know, if you are an ongoing. An ongoing, yeah. If you are in a um an ungodly relationship, you know, if you're um in a dating situation and you and your your boyfriend or girlfriend are having sex, living together, having sex, doing all the the the privileges that comes along with marriage, right? Then in that thing right there, you are being you are a slave to sin. You are being a slave to sin. I don't care if you're in adultery, if you're living, if you are living in a certain thing, if you're living in your anger, if you're living in uh whatever your ugly is, that's being a slave to sin. Right. Not you having a moment where you just you commit a sin and you're like, God, please forgive me and you repent of your life.
SPEAKER_00You're on the yard, you're on the yard choosing not to go out of the post. You're just you're just there.
SPEAKER_03And even when you use that word choosing, what I want to say about that is is that the imprisonment makes you feel that you don't have a choice, that you can't move. Okay, you know, and if you stay in it long enough, not focusing on the things of the Lord, you it can affect you physically, you know, and now it becomes even harder to move. Right. Harder to make that choice. But the truth is you can make the choice. Right. You know, when it's an emotional imprisonment, you know, you can make the choice, but you have to be willing to put in the work, you have to be willing to put in the work. So, what we wanted to do at this, what's the next thing? We wanted to give some solutions, huh?
SPEAKER_00Well, we really only well, there's one solution. You Jesus, you know, okay. And instead of concentrating on whatever that ugly is, or or once you own that ugly, own your ugly, get to it, know it, own it. You don't have to stay in it though. See it for what it is, and then change it. And the way you change it is you give it over to the Lord. You can worship through song, you can stay in a mind of thanksgiving, you can meditate on Christ. You know, think on those things which are lovely. You can choose obedience instead of disobedience. You can choose to walk outside of the post.
SPEAKER_03That's a great point that you make. And the reason why I'm so happy that you're bringing up these points be is because so often we'll sing, yeah, I know, but you must remove that, you must remove that phrase from your vocabulary. Because, yeah, I know what it says about worship, but I know what it says about reading his word, but I know what it says about meditating on his word, but I know what it says about thinking on these things that are above, but right, my and you know what the but is, but my issue is bigger than that. We cannot gloss over that. Listen, if God says, you know, if meditating on the word of God is going to give you peace, guess what? We're just not spending enough time meditating on the word of God. We are meditating on something, the thing that you meditate on the most will be the thing that you you will either be a slave to, if you're meditating on your your situation, right? You will be a slave to it. If you're meditating on the things of God, you will get peace. You know, if you are uh um worshiping God, waking up in the morning, he inhabits our praise, right? If he says he inhabits, thank you, honey. If he says he inhabits our praises, then if we're doing the opposite, we're not getting that.
SPEAKER_00We're not we're not welcoming him in. We're not gleaming opening ourselves to, you know, have a moment with him.
SPEAKER_03If we're waking up in the morning and or going to bed and we're not reading our word and meditating on it and blessing his name and giving thanksgiving. He has given us resources, guys. Listen, I'm not just talking to you guys, I'm talking to us as well. The resources are there to get us out, you know, and then also to be obedient. I mean, these things reading, worshiping, praising, being in thanksgiving, these are all things of obedience. But if there's some sin in your life, moving, move away from it. Call it out what it is. I'm an angry person, ugly, I'm an unforgiving person. Down to it. As you are inhabiting the praise, as God is inhabiting your praise because we're offering ourselves up to him as a sacrifice, as we're asking him. What I'm trying to say is the closer you draw to God, that's how much he will draw to you. Right. Sometimes God wants to be close and intimate with us. Yes, he really wants that, but God will only be as close to you. We are I heard that we heard the pastor say this last Sunday. Um, shout out to PB. He said, We will be as close to God as we desire to be. Right. It's not on God's part. God has a wonderful thing, called free will. If God has given us tools and resources like praise and worship and meditating on him, thinking on these things above, um, giving us each other, those to come in to help comfort, where two or three are gathered, there he will be in the midst. God has done his part. The issue is not God, the issue is how close do we want to be to God? How much do we want to be freed from the things that are hurting us? That part is on us, and that's why God says, You put this away. God, God never said, I'll I'll put away your anger, I'll never put away your your lust, I'll never put away these things. He said, I've given you now um ability because you have accepted my son, and I now have inside that lives in you. Then he says, You put it away. You put it away, you cast it away, you give it to me, I'll take it, I can deal with it, and in exchange, and in exchange, I will give you peace.
SPEAKER_00Amen.
SPEAKER_03So, what do we have in closing or conclusion?
SPEAKER_00In conclusion, there's no life in the deeds of the flesh. We've talked about that before.
SPEAKER_03And this is the thing that we want you to remember. Only the deeds of the flesh are death. I mean, in the deeds of the flesh, it is only death. So every entanglement, every imprisonment that you have, every struggle that you have, that you are having the darnest time of coming from under, remember it is only in your flesh. Now, here's the thing: you can even be going through a physical situation, even something that can be life-threatening, that is still going on in your flesh, but the reality is that does not mean that your mind has to faint. Even if you are saying, Well, this is something that's gonna take me out, I have stage four cancer, and a doctor has said there is no freedom from this. But God and and and that is a hard thing, and you may be getting ready to leave your family or whatever. Even in that, even when you look at what happened when Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, and he knew his time was coming near, but he said, and it says he came in and he he had sorrow, but he said, God, if this cup can pass me, but it's what he said after.
SPEAKER_00Your will.
SPEAKER_03He said, Nevertheless, not my will, but your will. And even in that moment of hardship, he had peace. So there is no situation in life that we can experience in this on this side of the on this side that he can't cover, that he can't give us peace for. He wants to give us peace for whatever he allows to come in our lives because we know that there are those that are out there that are really experiencing some for real hardships.
unknownPeace.
SPEAKER_00You do not have to be present, you don't have to be in prison.
SPEAKER_03Peace and contentment, freedom is yours, and joy and especially freedom are there for every believer, no matter what state you are in. And with that being said, devil that music, my lord. Man, we hope something was said that will encourage you, give you some strength, give you the desire to want to get out there and come from under some of this ugly because you don't have to be imprisoned or enslaved to it.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much for being here with us again. We can be reached in Facebook because I promised, or on our fancy email, because I promised 101 at Outlook.com.
SPEAKER_03Man, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Laugh Long, Love Heart, John 316. We love you, and we are out of here.
SPEAKER_00My lord, I think I'm just gonna let the music play.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That was a good one. It was heavy, but it was good. Y'all enjoy this music. I can't sing the nae. I got it.
unknownOoh!
SPEAKER_00Have a good one, guys.
SPEAKER_03Bye.