Tales from the first tee

Age Is Just a Number, Until Someone Makes That Face

• Rich Easton

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The unexpected merger between PGA, DP, and LIV Tours exposes the hypocrisy behind the golf world's civil war and raises questions about loyalty versus opportunity. We explore the shifting perceptions of age and how "old" is defined by perspective, while also diving into why wedges are the second most important clubs in your bag.

• PGA Tour leadership created a divisive narrative against LIV Tour only to later form a partnership
• Players who declined LIV's lucrative offers out of loyalty must now watch as former rivals return
• The merger announcement on June 6th sent shockwaves through the golfing community
• Ageism reflects more about the observer's perspective than actual limitations
• True "oldness" comes from loss of curiosity and playfulness, not chronological age
• Most golfers hit fewer greens in regulation than they think, making wedge selection crucial
• Ping Glide 4.0 wedges offer consistent performance across various course conditions
• Engineers often struggle to explain technical benefits in terms that matter to players


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Speaker 2:

Welcome to another episode from Just Tales, a monthly hybrid of fictional and non-fictional stories that compel me to rant. There'll always be a golf story or two laced into my blog because, well, it's where I spend a good amount of my recreational time. So, whether you're a golfer or not, if you're a skeptic, doubter or open-minded, it is the place for you. So kick back and listen. Welcome to episode 116, where common sense and overthought storytelling collide. In this episode I'll share some wisdom from Wedgiville, also a well-researched, if I don't say so myself, segment on the perception of what old means. Before I get too far down those rabbit holes, I have to weigh in on the shocking news about the co-joining of the Live Tour, the DP Tour and the PGA Tour all under one ashram. I mean umbrella. For those of you entrenched in professional golf, you know about the great divide between the traditional PGA tours and the Saudi-backed LIV tour owned by the PIF. And if I add one more acronym, I'm going to have to start a whole new board game. I play with golf buddies that have taken completely opposite polar sides on whether a golfer should have stayed with the PGA Tour or have taken the money to go play for the Lift Tour. It's divisive. It's as divisive as Republican and Democrats are today. It seems like most every news channel or podcast were asked to buy into one position or the polar opposite, and most of them are false narratives Like yes or no. Are you still beating your wife or has she filed for a restraining order? First of all, no and no, because I never did and she never did. Pro golfers that decided to either go to the live tour or not go were asked these hard, open-end questions like what went into your thinking on leaving the PGA tour to go to live or to PGA players? Why have you decided to stick with the PGA and not go to the live tour? The media put these players in a horrible position and pitted them against each other. But when asked a question like that, with a yes or no answer, there's no right answer.

Speaker 2:

When the live tour tried to negotiate with the PGA up front, there was no wiggle room. Jay Monahan and the governing body of the PGA took a hard stance If you choose to play on the live tour, you're barred from the PGA tour events forever. Do not pass, go, do not collect $200. You lose your world ranking points and are sent to the island of misfit toys. That's the position they took. Misfit toys, that's the position they took. And they took that position because the Live Tour was throwing money at players like the PGA Tour never did.

Speaker 2:

And the PGA players had been asking the tour for a lot more rights and a lot more money and a lot more flexibility, and they said no because they had a monopoly on them, they controlled them, even though they were independent agents. Now here comes the live tour and they say we're going to pay you millions of dollars, hundreds of millions of dollars, just to show up and if you win, you get more money than you've ever made winning any PGA Tour. So the business savvy golfers took the money and a lot of the golfers were in the middle or towards the end of their career and there was no way that they were going to make anything like this amount of money staying on the PGA Tour, or it would have just taken so much winning to do that you didn't need to win a lot to go to the live tour. So instead of joining tours up front, instead, what Jay Monahan and his executive team did is they solicited leaders Tiger, jack Nicklaus, rory McIlroy to basically sing their praise about how tradition is what the PGA is all about. And, by the way, those other guys, the PIF, funded by Saudi Arabia. If you chose to go play for that tour, you're playing for a country known for civil rights violations, the murder of Khashoggi, an apostate journalist, and the training ground for the suicide pilots responsible for the horrors of 9-11.

Speaker 2:

And quite a few PGA players and supporters of the PGA parroted that narrative. It was the evil empire strikes again. Oh hey, newsflash. Did you know that Uncle Sam sells more arms and weaponry to Saudi Arabia than it does for the second, third and fourth-ranked countries combined? We sell them a lot of shit. The United States supports Saudi Arabia. I mean knowing that fact. Is Jay suggesting that his own government is acting as an apostate? No, because he didn't draw the crime wall lines the way I did. He just drew one line. Liv equals evil empire, pga equals rebel alliance. Pick a side. But despite what Jay said, it wasn't that easy when we saw likable PGA pros making big money decisions that affected wealth, wealth that would be passed down for generations.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you're somebody who doesn't care about your offspring, like a famous quote from one of our great leaders, I got rid of the death tax on farms so that when you do pass away on the assumption that you love your children, you can leave it to them and they won't have to pay tax. But if you don't love your children so much and there are some people that don't, and maybe deservedly so, it won't matter because, frankly, you don't have to leave them anything. Thank you very much. Have fun.

Speaker 2:

So, after Jay Monahan gets all these PGA players to pledge their support of the PGA Tour, their support of the PGA Tour, the media makes a circus of this divide, particularly at majors, where all qualified golfers were invited regardless of their tour choice. Golfers that qualify for majors have either accomplished something spectacular at those specific majors in past years or they're having a really good year this year and they qualify for the major. They're honored to be invited and most of them prepare for majors with greater intensity, more support from their teams, and are chomping at the bit to hit their first tee shot on the first hole. The media has been less kind, asking them about their prep work. They don't ask them about their prep work. They don't ask them about the changes they made or how they plan to win the tournament. Nope, they want to pepper them with questions about why the lift tour, why the PGA and what about those other guys who took the money Meanwhile? As a pro golf fan, I want to know what new clubs they're putting in their bags. How are they going to attack the golf course this year, now that most golf courses have lengthened the course by upwards of 400 yards? Is there possibly a par four where most golfers go for it in two shots, where this particular golfer, who has impeccable length, is going to go for it in one. I mean, the golfers are not going to disclose their strategy, but those are the kind of questions I want to hear. Did they put a new putter in their golf bag from their stable of 20 different putters? I really don't care what players think of other players and their decisions. I don't care what they think of Harold Varner III for jumping ship, and now that Brooksy and Bryson have resolved issues that I think were never really issues, I don't care what they think of each other. I didn't care back then because I knew this was a media hoax.

Speaker 2:

So now, fast forward to I think it was Tuesday, june 6th. I'm working at the golf shop and the news broke. Everyone went to their phones and everybody's phones were blowing up, and then we watched the golf channel to hear Jay and his new best buddy, yasser Al-Rahman, talk about how they're growing the game. I mean, I started laughing out loud, the same way I laughed when I was listening to the media talk about the debt ceiling and what if the government shuts down? This seems to happen every several years and a deal is made and each side gets a piece of what they want and the government continues to operate. We can't stop the government from operating, but it's a joke.

Speaker 2:

Hey, look, I can tell a tale. I could spin a scenario, articulate an anecdote, notify a narrative. What I can't do is build a bullshit story and then recruit minions to parrot it and then, when I'm legally painted into a corner or when the money is just too good to pass up, change that narrative to fit the new story. Well, on second thought, maybe I could. Some of the golfers I've talked to feel for the players that stuck to Jay's story and gave up the once-in-a-life payday, all for the tradition and the chance to have their names engraved on a PGA Tour trophy. Now to learn that the guys who took the money can compete for those same trophies, look, I'm sympathetic but not empathetic. They took a position, gave up the payday and can still compete for those trophies and a place in golf history. Look, the PGA players that stuck to the PGA. They just might have to move their 40-foot yachts out of the way and allow for some of the 100-foot yachts owned by the lift players to pass by.

Speaker 2:

Did somebody just say old? They're too old. What you talking about? What you talking about? What you talking about? Why would a salty-haired, fun-loving life enthusiast delve into the topic of ageism? I've never been discriminated on on the basis of age. As far as I know, I've never been aged out of a job. I don't think I've never been turned down for a date request despite the 20 year age difference. Okay, that's total bullshit. If you're not pulling up to restaurants in your Maserati or stepping off your 40 foot scout just to show off your posse at Shem Creek, or hosting a party at your 7,000 square foot villa, your allure for a partner half your age plus seven might be met with a look away or a walk away. I only think about my age when it advantages me for a discount or when I get AARP mailers. People always say stay in your lane. I don't know mine until I'm made aware of it by the actions of others. All right, so here's a funny story, and it's only funny because I could laugh at myself.

Speaker 2:

A while back. I kept running into this 40-something-year-old woman walking her dog. One day, while I'm out walking Sammy, we run into each other and she changes her course to walk with me to the dog park so our dogs can play. I definitely misread that as an act of discovery her wanting to talk to me. I couldn't have been any more wrong. So I let my ego convince me that this could be another vampire adventure.

Speaker 2:

Now some people mostly men, but not always like to hang with younger people because it energizes them. It's like sucking the blood of mortals to maintain immortality. I happen to enjoy the company of others. They're not always fixated on their ailments, and a lot of younger people are not. Look, we all have ailments sore muscles, back, knees, shoulders, hip discomfort all the time, particularly if we're active and aging. I just can't see the benefit of broadcasting them all the time. Stretch, take a pill and shut the fuck up about your constant discomfort, because it's like bear spray.

Speaker 2:

So I see this 40-year-old something woman in the dog park and ask her if she was interested in going to this music event with me. The expression on her face preceded any words of rejection. It was that stinky cheese face. You know what it looks like when somebody can't come up with the words, but they are clearly rejecting whatever your approach is. Look, whatever she was about to make up, whatever her excuse was, never really made its way into my cerebral cortex.

Speaker 2:

She could have just stopped at the look and I would have been informed that I stepped into the wrong lane. It was clearly a look of into the wrong lane. It was clearly a look of you're old enough to be my father, which I most likely am. But since I don't spend a lot of time fixated in front of a mirror, I don't think about the awkwardness of being seen in the company of someone generations apart. But they certainly do. I think expensive lifestyles and toys mask generational differences because, face it, some people are more interested in the scene than the intimacy of connection. But, like I always say, both can be true. So it brings me to the topic of what is old there's nothing kids need.

Speaker 1:

No good still for me.

Speaker 2:

I think it's all perspective. When you're in preschool, a 21-year-old teacher might seem old to you.

Speaker 2:

When you're a teenager, your parents definitely seem old, your grandparents ancient when you're in your 20s. 40 and up is old. Families with kids really old when you're growing up, and anyone who gets in your way, anybody who gets in the way of your fun, they're old. I think you get my point. Your vantage point informs you of the impression of old. To me, the thought of old can be a lot of things A loss of vitality Over time, a physical impairment that limits mobility, which affects the thought of action, decay that transforms your youthfulness into a gradual death march, into a gradual death march.

Speaker 1:

A loss of curiosity replaced with a hard certainty of this is the way it's always been done. This is the way. This is the way this is the way.

Speaker 2:

And, lastly, the loss of playfulness replaced by the despair of hopelessness. One thing that I've observed with most not all senior golfers, tennis players, bikers, pickleballers and fitness fanatics they don't focus on what they can't do, they focus on the present and they focus on the possibilities. While old is the absence of discovery, it's also the celebration of the fact that you've endured life and are still here to experience more, and the way that gives you comfort in doing things, the way you want to do things. This segment's getting old. Hey, golfers, it's Wedgieville, it's Wedgieville.

Speaker 1:

Roll out, Roll out. Let's wrap you up that platinum chain with them diamonds in it. Make a big one for that Benz with them windows tinted. What in the world is in that bag? What you got in that bag?

Speaker 2:

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. What club do you think you use the most? If you answered putter, you are correct. Two episodes ago I talked about three different types of putters that are engineered for different types of putting arcs. It's the way you swing the putter. Since then I've helped golfers find the putter best built for their particular stroke built for their particular stroke.

Speaker 2:

Last week the Ping rep brought a key engineer into the shop to help us understand the features and benefits of the new Ping Glide wedges. I think the biggest aha moment of the night is when the Ping folks threw up a slide that showed how many golfers are actually hitting greens in regulation. Most seven to 10 handicaps average 10 greens in regulation. If you're a 10 to 18, you're only hitting five, and if you're an 18 and above, you're hitting less than five greens in regulation. And, by the way, 18 and above are most golfers. This means that most golfers miss greens and regulation most of the time, which makes wedges the second most used club in the bag. So it's good to know what wedges help you do the most in different situations.

Speaker 2:

One thing I know about having engineers speak at meetings is that they always show their work. Remember, in grade school and math class, when the teacher wanted you to show how you wrote the equation to get to the answer, they would say you must show your work. Now I wasn't a fan of that exercise because sometimes I got the right answer going a whole different direction. I'm not saying I copied off of Riva Gold, who always sat next to me. I'm just saying sometimes I got the right answer by accident, but most of the time that alternate path led me to an alternate truth.

Speaker 1:

You're saying it's a falsehood and they're giving. Sean Spicer, our press secretary gave alternative facts to that. But the point Wait what?

Speaker 2:

When engineers talk the specifics of what goes into making a more forgiving golf club, my eyes start to glaze over. That's why Bryson DeChambeau and I could never be friends. He always shows his work. So at the end of this meeting I raised my hand and let's call this guy Heisenberg. So I asked Heisenberg hey, this information is cutting edge and fascinating, but can you explain to me how this translates to benefits, the kind of benefits we could talk to golf enthusiasts about, to benefits, the kind of benefits we could talk to golf enthusiasts about? That was a stumper, because Heisenberg was a genius at using a CAD machine and a genius at creating golf clubs that could do a lot of things other golf clubs can't do.

Speaker 2:

But one thing that a scientist has a tough time doing is explaining the benefits of all their scientific research. So for me it would be something like hey, because of the grind pattern, softened edges and sole weighting, these glide wedges will spin the ball more consistently and give you similar results whether your ball is on hard pan, soft fairways, light, rough or wet conditions. Boom, drop the mic. It's more versatile. May you want one please? I mean Titleist Foky SM9 wedges and Cleveland RTX wedges are popular, played by most PGA pros and their ads are well-funded. But if you have a chance to test drive a Ping Glide 4.0 wedge, you might have a tough time picking the bugs out of your teeth from all that smiling you're doing on the golf course. Just saying You've been listening to another episode of Just Tales. I'm your host, rich Easton, telling tales from beautiful Charleston, south Carolina.

Speaker 1:

Talk to you soon, thank you.