Tales from the first tee

Why Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone Matters More Than You Think

• Rich Easton

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Rich Easton shares how learning to deal with discomfort can transform your life, illustrated through his unexpected journey into salsa dancing and observations about our cultural priorities.

• Congressional hearings on UFOs and non-human beings are severely underreported compared to celebrity gossip
• Modern social behavior includes disruptive trends like filming in movie theaters and throwing objects at performers
• Stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for personal growth and developing adaptability
• Approaching new experiences with curiosity rather than certainty leads to better outcomes
• Rich's salsa dancing adventure demonstrates how quickly discomfort can transform into enjoyment

If you enjoyed this episode, follow Just Tales for more monthly hybrids of fictional and non-fictional stories from beautiful Charleston, South Carolina.


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to another episode from Just Tales, a monthly hybrid of fictional and non-fictional stories that compel me to rant. There'll always be a golf story or two laced into my blog because, well, it's where I spend a good amount of my recreational time. So, whether you're a golfer or not, if you're a skeptic, doubter or open-minded, it is the place for you. So kick back and listen. This episode's a complete departure from my golf advice or crazy golfer stories. It's about learning to deal with discomfort and then finding a way to make chicken salad out of alligator shit. It's my metaphor I can do what I want. I can do what I want. It's not about the congressional hearings on UFOs, where Ryan Graves, david Grush and David Fravor all highly decorated and highly ranked officials disclosed that we've been visited by non-human beings and have captured their spacecraft when I say their, I don't know their pronouns and we've re-engineered them for decades trying to figure out what their power source is. Did y'all hear that there are non-human species around us and hidden in secret labs deep under the earth where we are studying them and trying to understand their energy source? I mean, it was probably the most underreported and underemphasized hot topic of the week. Nancy Mace, our attractively effective congresswoman from Charleston, was criticized for spending too much time talking about her role in the Congressional Oversight Committee on this subject, instead of focusing on our economy, homelessness and unemployment. You know, the media lost their minds when they buried the headlines with something like Congresswoman, distracted by little green men. I mean, holy shit people. Most every religion from the beginning of time speaks to man as the ultimate creation in God's image. And there's this gray alien with big bug eyes sitting in a containment cell 50 feet under the Earth's surface, using mental telepathy to communicate human insignificance in the universe. I could just imagine Fox News' broadcast. Thanks, barb.

Speaker 1:

It seems that our government has been hiding information about extraterrestrial beings and spacecraft. Meanwhile, hunter Biden has been abusing his father's role in the government to amass fortunes and consulting fees, and the Democrats are sweeping it under the rug. Hello McFly. Mcfly, are you in there? We have been visited by non-humans for years, centuries, maybe even pre-homo sapiens, and the issue is about Hunter Biden. You know, at least in the movie Independence Day, all countries band together to watch Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum smoke a cigar after the fat lady sang and save the world. And in the movie Men in Black we watch Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith save the universe from intergalactic terrorists and then watched Will Smith in After Earth. Hey, wait a minute. It seems like Will Smith is in the middle of everything alien. I wonder what Chris Rock has to say about that.

Speaker 1:

My point is that the most riveting news this past week about a secret agency formed to investigate and cover up all alien contact was just exposed. And we're all sitting at home trying to figure out what's the best time to watch the Barbie movie and Oppenheimer. I mean, it's crazy to think that we've just been informed that we're not alone in the universe and someone in very hush-hush places have known for a long time and have stifled others for exposing them. But to most of us, who Pete Davidson is sleeping with this week holds much higher weight what is wrong with us? You know, in speaking of what's wrong with us, I think that the word people should be accepted as a one-word sentence and the inflection would be as follows People. Let me explain. Has anyone ever told you their experience when somebody wronged them, insulted them, disrespected them, cut them off on the road, causing a near-death experience? I mean, I could go on and on about human behavior and the selfish acts of others. That annoys us and gets under our skin. Whenever I hear those stories, I always respond with one word people. Now, typically when I say that word, it's often followed by the word sucks by the other person who just told the story.

Speaker 1:

Let me offer two examples. To make a case in point, there's a new phenomenon happening when a new movie hits the big screen, gen Zers are making TikToks by filming parts of the movie. Some of them who are commenting and commentating movie, some of them who are commenting and commentating. It's distracting enough when someone near you is texting on their phone during a movie. I mean the lit screen on their cell phone can clearly take your eyes off the big screen in a dark theater. Now imagine they're holding their phones up in the air to capture the moment and talking at the same time. I don't know about you, but for me one of the draws of the big screen is being totally immersed in the film while possibly finishing my popcorn right before the opening scene. I mean it's a total escape from our everyday lives. Cell phone distractions mitigates that overwhelming feeling of being drawn into the world that directors and actors spent years perfecting People.

Speaker 1:

Or what is it with concert goers that feel like their personal experience is more important than those around them or, even worse, more important than the performers. I or even worse, more important than the performers I've always thought it was in bad taste for people to get up from their seats in the middle of a song or a scene, particularly if they're an eye shot of the performer. I mean, I think they might be the same people as those making TikToks in movie theaters. And there's this new phenomenon for concert goers that get close to the front and throw shit at performers. Baby Rexha, adele, harry Styles, drake, kelsey Ballerini, ava Max, bruno Mars, ariana Grande, justin Bieber Okay, maybe he deserved it All have been hit by stuff that patrons throw at them Bottles, cans, cell phones, drinks, you name it. And recently Cardi B got hit with a drink and returned the favor by throwing her mic back at the fan's head, perhaps even hitting the wrong fan when she did it. When did that become okay to do? And I think it might be when TikTok and Instagram started compensating for viral events. Instagram started compensating for viral events. Going viral has become the golden ticket for those who can't find a more conventional or respected way of paying their bills. People, I tell you, people.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so this episode is about living with discomfort. Most of us, probably all of us, have been put in situations where we're just not comfortable with the task we have to do, the people we're surrounded by, or just about anything that's outside of normally what we do, anything that's outside of normally what we do. Sometimes I find those situations motivate me to figure things out quicker so I could put myself in a more comfortable situation. Learning anything new is all about that. That's why so many people quit new things, because the failure rate is so high. Nobody likes to do things they're not good at, particularly when others are watching, but sometimes you can't avoid it. New jobs, new towns, new acquaintances Some of those things are thrust upon us and we could either complain about it and talk about how nothing's the same as it used to be, or we could find some kind of solace, find commonality between people, find a small niche of people with common interests. If you're fortunate to go away to college and you're not going with your best friends from high school, that's a perfect example of going into a situation where you know virtually nothing. You know no one and you have to figure it out or you fail. This podcast is not about golf, but certainly people taking up the sport for the first time. It's so awkward, it's so unnatural and it's so fraught with failure that people either quit or break a lot of clubs or, even worse, make everybody else around them feel as badly as they feel All right. So why am I saying all of this?

Speaker 1:

Back in early July, a friend of mine that I see at the gym often told me that on Tuesday nights he was going downtown Charleston because there's this salsa night at a jazz club, at the Forte Jazz Club. It really wasn't what he said about. It was really about the enthusiasm that he displayed when he was talking about this great Tuesday night experience. So let's call him Rico Suave. When Rico explained the amount of fun he was having and the profile of the people that were there, I couldn't help but say alright, buddy, I'll join you this one time. We'll drive downtown and see what this whole thing's all about. He even asked if I wanted to drive down with him, but it just so happened. I had a telephone call I had to make and it also gave me the flexibility to have an early exit strategy in case things didn't go as I had hoped.

Speaker 1:

So I get downtown, I get to the club, I'm greeted at the door by the owner, joe, who seems to know how to run clubs. He was gracious, welcoming and gave us the lay of the land. So as I'm walking in the club, you have to go through this hallway, make some turns, and as you're getting closer to the room where the music and the dancers are, it gets louder. Getting closer to the room where the music and the dancers are, it gets louder and you could clearly hear the music. That was distinguishably Latin music. So now, for some reason, my heart starts racing. I'm not sure if it was mostly out of fear or appreciation for that beat that never stops, and maybe both are true. So Rico and I get to these front tables right in front of the dance floor, and he recognizes some people that he's seen there before and he introduces me Now. That certainly broke the ice and somewhat quelled my discomfort. After the introductions, rico immediately puts his hand out to this gal and asks her to dance, goes right out on the dance floor and it looks like after watching him start to dance with her, it looks like they both had been there before. That left me sitting at a table and watching 20 couples moving, spinning, gyrating their hips like Shakira.

Speaker 1:

But for me I kind of felt like I was back in junior high school at the homecoming dance. Back then it might have taken me the entire evening to ask a girl to dance. This happened to me so many times. I just couldn't get up the courage and I'd wait, and I'd wait, and I'd wait and really it would be the last dance when they said last call, where I finally got up the courage. And then when I danced, I'm like why the heck didn't I start doing this earlier? You know, I'd sit there in junior high school and watch these girls dance and spend the next hour or so at the punch bowl building up enough courage to ask that one girl that I'd been stalking. I know that sounds creepy, but my lexicon lacks depth and width. So I was watching all these girls and maybe I'd eyeball one particular one. Anyway, back to salsa. So Rico now comes back from his first or second dance and I am now on my second margarita. Don't judge, I needed social lubricant. He's like hey, rich, go ask somebody to dance. That's really all I needed to start my engine. That and the two margaritas.

Speaker 1:

When we walked in, rico introduced me to this couple of women. I'll call them Jenny from the block and Blondie. Jenny seemed like a natural and never left the dance floor. Now I knew she was not going to be my first dance experience, because she seemed to know way too many moves. Now Blondie, on the other hand, was looking at me and it looked like you know, she seemed like deer in the headlights. She was more fearful than I was Perfect for a first dance for me.

Speaker 1:

I figured what's the worst that could happen. She'd say no, I'm no worse for the wear. She says yes and we both fail together. So she says yes and as we're walking up to the dance floor, she basically tells me hey, take it easy, I'm a beginner. It's like what a relief. What I learned from her is that her discomfort far outweighed mine and that I could readily figure out some of the steps. That epiphany fueled me for the rest of the evening. Mind you, I didn't know a thing about leading my dance partner. Heck, I couldn't lead a troop of soldiers into the mess all that night, but I had this fire burning inside me to learn Now. Thankfully, jenny from the block had the patience to allow me to fail long enough to channel my inner Tony Manero, johnny Castle and Ren McCormick. The major difference between salsa night and the eighth grade dance was at salsa night, not one woman said no. When I extended my hand to dance Talk about an ego boost. Talk about an ego boost my discomfort quickly changed to hey, not only can I do this, but I really enjoy this. You know, I guess dancing is like golf and sex you don't have to be good to enjoy it, but it certainly helps.

Speaker 1:

Sitting in discomfort takes a special skill that takes time to develop. It's much easier to live small in your life, find a daily routine where you can anticipate the outcome of things as long as things around you don't change, and it's far easier and less angst in your life when you live smaller. You know, my daughter, during every job interview, tells the story about being moved from Chicago to Philadelphia in her junior year in high school and as a result, she's developed a skill set for adapting to new things quickly and that has just about landed her almost every job. Part of adapting is sitting in discomfort and then doing something about it. Learn something new and get better at it, meet new people and learn how they do things. As long as you're curious and want to learn, your discomfort shouldn't last as long as it might seem to. When you first try something new, be curious, not certain, you'll be better off for it.

Speaker 1:

And in case you're wondering, I've been to five salsa nights and still enjoy everything about it, despite the fact that my arsenal of male lead moves couldn't load a pop gun. But that doesn't stop me. And despite the fact that I was rejected by this one sultry 5'11" 30-something-year-old gal dance maniac Didn't stop me from extending my hand to the next gaggle of willing salsa participants from all around the globe Germany, italy, puerto Rico, russia and Turkey. Look at me, I'm James freaking Bond, probably more like Austin Powers. Oh, behave, yeah, yeah, baby. I think it's time for dance lessons. Perhaps it's time to channel that John Clark character To find a J-Lo-like teacher to help me take it to the next level. You've been listening to another episode from Just Tales. I'm your host, rich Easton, telling tales from beautiful Charleston, south Carolina. Talk to you soon.