Tales from the first tee
Stories about my life experiences and others as I work at one of the premier golf clubs in Charleston, SC. Interviews with golfers around the world that have one thing in common...the pursuit of excellence on a golf course and everything else that happens along the way.
Tales from the first tee
Money, Mulligans, and Media: Who Controls What You See?
Rich Easton delves into the suspicious timing of Stephen Colbert's show cancellation alongside Paramount's merger announcement and how South Park creators get away with pointed criticism that others can't. We examine the media power dynamics at play when covering controversial figures and topics.
• The cancellation of Stephen Colbert's show suspiciously timed with Paramount's $8 billion merger announcement
• South Park's ability to criticize Trump-Epstein connections through satire while real commentators face consequences
• How mulligans on the first tee create a ripple effect of delays throughout the golf course
• The Air Guitar World Championships in Oulu, Finland and what makes this unique cultural celebration tick
• Private equity firm iCatterton's $200 million acquisition of Lab Golf following JJ Spahn's US Open win
• Why golfers often choose to buy new drivers instead of putters despite putting having a greater impact on scores
Thanks for staying to the end. You've been listening to Tales from the First Tee. I'm your host, Rich Easton, telling tales from beautiful Charleston, South Carolina. Talk to you soon.
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you're tuned into another episode of tales from the first tee. I'm Rich Easton, telling tales from beautiful Charleston, south Carolina, two episodes ago, titled e-bikes, epstein and Eagles. I mentioned the Epstein client list and how Pam Bondi, after seducing the American public with the anticipation of a revealing tell-all pedophilic list, ended up pulling a Wizard of Oz move and told us hey, there's nothing behind the curtain. After that I was convinced that I could move on to other topics, because I mean, there are so many other things to talk about. And really, who wants to ruminate over a clear case of suicide and re-victimize underage exploited teenagers? Well, apparently the media, the Dems, half the MAGAs and Trey Parker and Matt Stone just wouldn't let it die.
Speaker 1:We've all heard about the cancellation of the late night show with Stephen Colbert. Heard about the cancellation of the late night show with Stephen Colbert, conveniently announced alongside the announcement of the delayed Paramount and Skydance merger, almost like one had something to do with the other. I mean, colbert has been relentless at criticizing our commander-in-chief, particularly his alleged involvement with Jeffrey Epstein. So Paramount, parent company to CBS, where Colbert's show airs, justifies their cancellation because it just wasn't contributing enough margin to their bottom line. This is like the oldest trick in the book for publicly traded companies to justify cutbacks to bolster future growth.
Speaker 1:I think some people would call it bearing the headline. Look, I work for two Fortune 500 publicly traded companies and help develop talking points for quarterly earning reports. When you manage a portfolio of multiple brands, you're not required to offer details on any given brand, just the general health of the company. It's like you never have to show how the sausage is made. Yeah, so what I'm inferring is that Paramount can say the late night show is financially off strategy, but they never have to show their work and not have to open their kimono.
Speaker 1:In the absence of facts, we could only guess that our commander-in-chief heavy-handedly influenced Colbert's cancellation in exchange for the FCC to approve the $8 billion merger and remove diversity, equity and inclusion policies. I don't know, that's just a guess. Hey, look, it's only speculation and has zero reliability on a credible source. But where are credible sources, anyway, if it walks like a duck? So why am I ruminating on this subject from two weeks ago? It's because talking heads and social media just won't let it die. And it just so happens that one day before the announcement of the merger, trey Parker and Matt Stone released their newest episode of South Park, called Sermon on the Mount, and thoroughly ridiculed religion in public schools.
Speaker 1:Trump's alleged involvement with Epstein and his mode of operandi of distraction to thwart personal attacks. Now, I watched it the day it aired and between unbridled laughter, it aired and between unbridled laughter, I continually shook my head and said how can a cartoon get away with that, while real people get canceled for less pointed criticism? The reason is this Cartoons are widely understood as forms of satire, hyperbole and opinion, rather than literal representations of fact. Unlike literal statements in articles or broadcasts, cartoons employ visual metaphors, symbolism and artistic exaggeration. So, generally, cartoonists enjoy de facto immunity, tunis enjoy de facto immunity and they could get away with as much shit as they can.
Speaker 1:So when South Park shows a Trump-like figure sleeping with the devil, it's just all artistic exaggeration. I mean, as far as I was concerned, the devil just seemed bigger than I would have thought and Trump Schmeckle was almost microscopic, which was hilarious. So how did Trump react to the episode? He didn't directly. However, the White House officially criticized the episode, labeling it as a fourth-rate show that is barely surviving, with uninspired concepts and a desperate bid for attention. Hey, did I mention that Trey and Matt signed a massive deal, reportedly worth $1.5 billion, in exchange for 50 or more episodes over the next five years. That's $30 million per episode. All right, my buddy Mike K could do the math on that.
Speaker 2:Let me know if it's correct.
Speaker 1:I had a conversation yesterday with one of my buddies who's a staunch Trump supporter and he suggested that, you know, the Democrats could have opened the books on the Epstein files prior to the presidential election in 2024, particularly if Trump's name was on the list. Now, first of all, I'm not really certain.
Speaker 1:There is a list, a blackmail list, but there has to be a trail of evidence. That implicates many of the participants in Epstein's trafficking. And the fact that nothing was declassified prior to the election suggests that the stank of aiding, abetting and guilt by association has to be heavy on those that swing a big dick in this world. So, pam, if you tell me that there was a binder on your desk, but after going through it there's just no list, I guess I'm just gonna have to trust you. But I'll just keep hoping that Trey and Matt, through the voice of South Park, continue to push the envelope. If nothing else, it's pretty funny. Hey guys, to speed things up, only one ball off the first tee, please, right away. No trial, no, nothing. Right to jail. Right to jail Right away, believe it or not. Jail Right away. Jail you right to jail, believe it it or not? Jail right away. Jail you right to jail, believe it or not? Jail.
Speaker 1:Okay, this segment might come off as pedantic, fastidious, nitpicky or didactic, but have you ever watched a group of anxious golfers watching another foursome in front of them on the first tee, when each and every golfer dislikes their first tee shot so they tee up another ball, commonly called a mulligan, a breakfast ball, a lunch ball, a sundae ball, a culligan that's when you hit it in the water off the first tee. Or a ginner Now a ginner down south that's like hitting it again Again. For you new golfers, it's a do-over. The ironic thing about the mulligan is that it's something that your playing buddies encourage you to do if they're not betting a lot of money against you, particularly when you deal with the embarrassment of a duff, a shank or top it off a first tee. Now your buddies don't want you to become apoplectic, particularly off the first tee. So they're like take another one, go ahead, don't worry, we were talking, we were moving. Okay, they might feel okay with it, but it could irritate some golfers in the group behind you, particularly if they don't know you. You know it says something. It's pretty funny how some strangers feel about other strangers on the golf course and it's typically like what is wrong with them?
Speaker 1:I grew up with somebody who basically called everybody an idiot on the golf course, particularly when they were playing in the group in front of us, and typically it falls in the category of somebody else being seemingly selfish, someone who spent too much time looking for a lost ball in the group in front of you. Someone who waited for the group to get off the green on a par five, who basically hit a shitty drive and there was no way they're getting there in two, but they waited, which means that made the group behind you wait as well. Someone who spent too much time in the halfway house between the ninth green and the tenth tee bucks, tee bucks. Someone who measured, remeasured and walked around every angle on the putting surface and then missed the putt by a mile. And you're in the group behind them, particularly on a par three, and you're watching them. And you're watching them and you're just thinking, hey, if you're going to miss the putt, just hurry up and stink faster. Now I've got different perspectives. Well, whether I'm working as a starter on the first tee or playing with good fast players, there's always somebody who has to point out how long it's taking the group in front of them to perform either a tee shot, an approach shot or a putt. Now, getting back to the first tee, I get why somebody wants the option of a second ball off the first tee, in case their first ball was a disappointment.
Speaker 1:Before I got addicted to golf, I was a casual tennis player. It wasn't until I was in my mid-30s, rated as a 4.0 player, which I thought was pretty good. In San Clemente, california, did I suffer an embarrassing flogging from my nationally ranked cousins that made me decide to lay down my racket for good and focus on golf, because a 4.0 is certainly better than a 3.0, but for me, I wasn't getting any better. There was no way I was going to be a 4.5 tennis player. That is like going from a 10 handicap to scratch.
Speaker 1:One of the unique things about warming up for a tennis match with your opponent is that you both go out to the court and that is the court that you're going to be playing on for your match and you start off rallying with the other, your competitor. You're hitting shots from the baseline. You're hitting shots up from the net. You're hitting shots up from the net. You're hitting serves, everything to prepare you for what you're about to do. So you're warmed up. You're extremely warmed up on the same serves, not like even going to the range where you hit a few shots with no consequences and you're hitting them to this wide open area with no consequences. And you're hitting them to this wide open area.
Speaker 1:Because when you get to the first tee box, everything changes. Everything changes because every single shot has a consequence. And when you get to that first tee box and you look out and all of a sudden there are trees or water on your right and your left and you have to hit that ball between the woods and the water, it does something to your psyche. It's not like going to the range. But now imagine you're going to play where the range might be, let's say, a quarter mile away, and you just don't have time to go to the range. Now you get out of your car, you might putt a few balls, you might chip a few balls, you might swing the yellow whip or the golden whip just to kind of get your shoulders moving. But then you step up to the first tee box. Everything is consequence. So I get that you'd like to have in your arsenal that do-over on the first tee.
Speaker 1:It relaxes you and makes you feel a lot more confident and I know a lot of golfers that will not bring two balls to the first tee because they feel like if they bring two balls they're almost like they're cheating. You know, in the rules of golf there is no section that speaks to mulligans or doers. It's not in the rules of golf. It has basically entered into the casual rules of golf which most people play in most places. But so a lot of people don't come to the first tee with two balls because they're thinking, hey, if I just come with one ball, I'll be a lot more focused and I'll have a much better performance on this first tee. Well, let me tell you, I've sat at the first tee and watched thousands of golfers hit their first shots and I have seen at least half of them have to walk back to their cart to get that second ball. So I'm guessing that that strategy has a 50% chance of success. Now my observations would suggest that taking mulligans on the first tee guarantees a slow start from the get-go. At one of the more popular local courses and I would say a few of them in Charleston, tee times are staggered by 10 minutes or less. So if a group tees off at 8 am, the next group is slated to tee off between 8.08 or 8.10, depending on the golf course. Now that second group could only tee off after that eight o'clock group hits their tee shots and then hits their second shots towards the green and moves out of the way so the next group can tee off. Now imagine if all four golfers in the eight o'clock group hit a shitty first tee ball and take mulligans. It will take approximately 15 seconds to a minute for each mulligan, depending on whether that golfer had the strategy of only one ball in their pocket. Then they have to go back to their bag, look for that ball, walk back again or maybe ask a buddy to throw them a ball which really nobody wants to do because they don't want to see that second ball go in the woods. I mean, they cost over $3 now. All right, so follow my logic on this. So after all four golfers hit two tee balls, at least four to five minutes has transpired. Now they have to go find their first shitty dry balls and then drive or walk to the second ball that they like better to calculate and hit their second shot to the green. Now another five to eight minutes have transpired Longer if the first hole is under cart path only. So now it's at least 8. 13 and that eight o'clock group is getting out of the way. The group behind them was supposed to tee off at 8 0 8. They're seven minutes behind now.
Speaker 1:I would tell you this most golfers, particularly on a friday or saturday morning, are just glad to be out of the house. They've gotten their pass, they're out of the house, so they're off a few minutes in their first tea time. Who cares? Well, not everybody has that disposition.
Speaker 1:Quite often you have people that are very clock-focused. They know what time they're supposed to be there. They're probably 15 or 20 minutes early for their tee time. They know when they're supposed to tee off and, almost like driving long distances, they feel good when they make good time. So in other words, those people are like hey, I played in 3 hour and 10 minutes. Oh, I played in three hour and 10 minutes. Oh, I played in under.
Speaker 1:You know, to them there's like a badge of honor for getting done quickly. I mean, golf is a leisure sport. It should be enjoyed. Now, that doesn't mean you should take six hours to play it because there are going to be another 250 people behind you. But some people get apoplectic when they get to the first tee and they're already behind schedule. So imagine that scenario I just gave you, where they're already seven minutes behind. Now you take three hours ahead.
Speaker 1:Now 22 groups should have teed off in three hours, but the reality of the effect of the mulligan probably only 18 groups have teed off, leaving three to four groups pacing way behind with delays. So, knowing that the mulligan adds time to the start of a round, should courses enact a one ball off the first tee rule? I'm certain that some courses have gone to this measure. The official rules of golf governed by the USGA and RNA don't recognize a mulligan or a do-overs without penalty. But casual rules allow for all kinds of adjustments Mulligans out of bounds or treated as lateral hazards, playing out of turn or ready golf, lift, clean and place on the fairway or anywhere just to speed up golf, and most golf courses allow for casual rules except for tournaments.
Speaker 1:I think that one ball on the first tee would be inconsistently administered and policed, despite the fact that it would speed up play and start more golfers closer to their official tee times.
Speaker 1:Most courses rely on their positive reviews on social media and acting the one ball rule for all golfers on the first tee might reduce the anxiety for golfers waiting for their tee time, but I'm not certain it will convey the friendly, kind and welcoming spirit that Charleston is known for and thus create a shitstorm of unfavorable reviews. And, quite frankly, I think it's up to each group to decide whether or not they're going to do the one ball off the first tee. I happen to play in a game on weekends where the rule is one ball off the first tee. It speeds things up, of course, till you get to the green. Then it's like US open conditions and if you're like most of us, you want the two ball off the first tee just to apply to you and not everybody else. But when somebody tees up their third ball after two shitty tee shots, that's where every starter has the right to remind them that hey, the driving range is a half a mile down the road.
Speaker 1:I thank you kindly.
Speaker 2:Get going, or you can play behind us all and you can take all the time you want. Okay, then let's get going here. Bang Bang, come on, man Bang, enough Enough.
Speaker 1:Well, it's August and you know what that means the Air Guitar World Championships. You know I can't wait to travel across the globe to attend the 2025 Air Guitar World Championships in Ulu, finland, said just about no one. Well, that's not entirely true. Thousands attend the annual festival, mostly air guitar and music enthusiasts and their significant others that were dragged there or drugged there or both, and you know what it costs. Attendance is free, which speaks to some of the spectators. And while researching this, here's something I picked up from perplexity the Ulu community participation is robust and multifaceted, emphasizing cultural diversity, youth involvement and support for immigrant and diverse populations through programs and cultural initiatives. So I'm thinking this is the perfect place to house the world championships.
Speaker 1:Quite frankly, I would have been surprised to learn that the highly diverse cultural event was being moved to places like Mitchell, south Dakota, laredo, texas or any town West Virginia. Hey, I just didn't make up those cities. I mean, I didn't make that shit up when it comes to lack of diversity. It came from Wallet Hub, a personal finance company out of Miami, florida. I mean, they have credibility, right, all right back to the air guitar championships. Remember when you went to that high school dance, fraternity party or wedding reception when everybody was let's call it socially lubricated from the punch bowl, grain alcohol barrel or just open bar. And then that one song starts playing that just filled the dance floor. And then that one guy, call him the Boogie Beast, started his air guitar tribal dance, like Patrick Dempsey in Camp Ami Love or Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Now, usually Mr Boogie has very little regard for others on the dance floor as he gyrates, spirals and shreds that imaginary guitar while being challenged by spatial recognition.
Speaker 1:You know I happen to come from a family of dancers from Odessa, russia, new York City and even Libertyville, illinois. Call out to Dana. My grandparents, parents and daughter all have that special gene and flexible hip to own a dance floor. Where I came from, air guitar was gyrated by those who weren't classically trained or enthused by following those better than them who studied a diverse history of steps. Classical dancers looked down on them the way classical musicians look down on jazz artists unstudied and off the page. But thousands of air guitar enthusiasts who flock to Ulu would feel different. Now I've seen some clips of the past AG finalists and they resemble contemporary, lyrical modern dancers whose routine changes every time they start their dance. It's never about the training that leads to repeatable moves. It's how they're feeling about the music and how they want to strike, strum, pick and swipe their imaginary guitar. The artist with the most acrobatic imaginative gyrating synchronization to the music received the highest scores from the judges.
Speaker 1:These were the kids that you might have laughed at during the prom dance might be in Ulu today on stage winning. And what do they win? No cash prize. They win the Flying Finn guitar, which is handmade. The event is more about celebration, showmanship and promoting themes like love, peace and no monetary rewards. So that crazy person you laughed at on the dance floor may have earned the flying fin. And what did you win? All right, maybe you were the prom king or queen, or maybe you got lucky that night, because most air guitarists usually go home alone unless they're partnered with another air guitarist. Well then, you have to wonder who's going to pay for all the hotel broken furniture that night.
Speaker 2:So if you can't beat them.
Speaker 1:join them, because it looks like fun. Hey, you know what they say? What?
Speaker 2:Bro, what are you talking about, man?
Speaker 1:How many times have you been in a conversation when the person across from you wants to put a point on a topic by finishing it with well, you know what they say and then fill in the blank hey, the early bird gets the worm. Hey, good things come to those who wait. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. What goes around comes around. Don't believe everything you hear, especially stuff that starts with. You know what they say. It's a simple way to relate to somebody's problems or behavior and let them know that all those that went before them experienced something similar and the more experienced ones found a solution. It's also a kinder way of telling somebody that something they said, did or were about to do was stupid. You know what they say. Always drink upstream from the herd Fences. Make good neighbors. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
Speaker 1:Most of the time, your elders are just trying to help you because probably you're always late, you're impatient. Be glad you survived that stupid thing that you did. Hey, everybody gets what's coming to them. Stay out of people's business. Don't dress like you're a big shot if you can't back it up and if you can still don't dress like a big shot. Hey, once you've litigated a situation. Don't go back and re-litigate. It pisses people off. Be nicer to people, because acting like an entitled Karen will make people more likely to avoid helping you. Most of the time when people start a sentence with you know what they say. It's meant to help you deal with a setback or just get better at something, but other times they're just passing on wives tales or unsubstantiated rumors, like you know what they say. Women talk twice as much as men. Opposites attract. Love conquers all. If it's natural, it must be good for you. Americans are terrible at geography.
Speaker 2:Recent polls have shown, a fifth of Americans can't locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is US on a world map? Why do you think this is? I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and Iraq, everywhere, like such as.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know what they say. Everything happens for a reason. Look, whenever somebody writes a school paper, an article for a periodical or a book, they have to quote the sources to demonstrate thorough and ethical scholarship and avoid plagiarism. But when people are talking, they could just say hey, you know what they say and are rarely called to the carpet. But when I was younger, if I ever started a sentence with you know what they say. My parents from New York, bred through and through, would always say hey, who are they? Which would usually end the conversation or create a debate about credible sourcing. Do you know what they say? You can't choose your parents Though we're a reflection of them by choice or by nurture, and that's what I have to say about that. Hey, here's a riddle for you, batman. What do birkenstock restoration hardware, peloton, flexjet, solid core fitness and lab golf all have in common? Well, now, they're all majority owned by a private equity group called iCatterton.
Speaker 2:You can't be serious man, you cannot be serious.
Speaker 1:Just over a month ago, lab Golf was run by CEO Sam Hahn and it was a niche company that advertised and sold what you would seemingly say unconventionally looking putters. Would seemingly say unconventionally looking putters. Then millions of golf fans watched JJ Spahn sink putt after putt, including the 64-footer that won him the US Open. He was putting with the DF3 Lab putter, and if you also watched the American Century Celebrity Tournament in Lake Tahoe in early July, you would have seen a healthy number of golfers on the leaderboard using lab putters, particularly the winner, joe Pavelski, who sported the DF 2.1 and earlier model that looks like a cattle branding iron. So you'd have to ask yourself why would a private equity company that owns a high-end furniture retailer, upscale shoe company, failing stationary bike company and fitness company want to spend $200 million for a majority share in an upstart putter manufacturer? This is the biggest purchase of a putting company, bigger than when Callaway bought Odyssey. I don't know the particular answer to that because I don't work for the company, but I would share that. I once ran sales operations for a company that manufactured laundry detergent, tooth care condoms and pregnancy kits all virtually unrelated except for the sales and gross margin growth potential. Lab, an acronym for lie angle balanced was engineered to eliminate torque. The CEO and his team wisely developed a tool called the Revealer that, when used with all branded putters, revealed that all putters except Lab twisted and turned when set in a pendulum motion. Now whether or not all other branded putters open and close during putting strokes, causing putting inconsistencies, is irrelevant. Scotty Scheffler and Rory McIlroy number one and number two seem to be doing quite well with their tailor-made spider mallet putters. But if you're a golfer looking to improve your game and you already bought that new driver fairway wood and iron set and then had that epiphany that reducing your putts has the greatest impact on lowering your score, you might be lured by Sam Hahn's videos with the revealer making putts easier. I know I was.
Speaker 1:The major barrier to entry in buying a lab putter is price $450 to $1,000, depending on whether you're going to settle for stock or go apeshit with custom. And here's another riddle for you, batman If you had purchased a driver in the past three years and had a choice of spending $500 on a new putter or $600 on a new driver with hopes to add maybe 10 more yards to your drive, which would you pick? And here's a clue. Most people pick the driver. Get the fuck out of here Because it seems to be a sexier choice, with hopes about driving your buddies, and golf has become a long-hitting game.
Speaker 1:Now let's see if iCatterton adds value to the lab brand or does what many other PE firms do Look for ways to optimize profits through cost mitigation and put a team of high-level business professionals outside of the golf industry to optimize revenue for a putter company, and it appears that they're keeping Sam around for the time being. We'll see. Hey, thanks for staying to the end. You've been listening to another episode of Tales from the First Tee. I'm your host, rich Easton, telling tales from beautiful Charleston, south Carolina. Talk to you soon, hey, hey, hey, bye.