Season 5 Episode 8: Empowered Through Adversity – A Cervical Cancer Journey

In this episode of the GOSH Podcast, host Carly returns to speak with Ashley Greer, a resilient cervical cancer survivor and passionate advocate. Diagnosed in late 2023, Ashley shares her powerful story of navigating treatment—including chemotherapy, radiation, and multiple surgeries—and how she found strength and purpose through it all. Now cancer-free, Ashley is on a mission to raise awareness about early detection and inspire others with her experience of life after cancer. Tune in for an honest, moving, and empowering conversation. 

Resources:

Ashley's Instagram: @ashleys.path

Carly's Instagram: @ostomate_and_the_city

For more information on the Gynecologic Cancer Initiative, please visit https://gynecancerinitiative.ca/ or email us at info@gynecancerinitiative.ca

Where to learn more about us:
Twitter – @GCI_Cluster
Instagram – @gynecancerinitiative
Facebook – facebook.com/gynecancerinitiative
TikTok – @gci_gosh

Transcript

00:00:01 Intro 

Thanks for listening to the GOSH podcast—The Gynecologic Oncology Sharing Hub. We share real, evidence-based discussions on gynecologic cancers, featuring stories from patients, survivors, researchers, and clinicians. Our podcast is produced and recorded on traditional unceded territories of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh Nations. It is produced by the Gynecologic Cancer Initiative, a BC-wide effort to advance research and care for gynecologic cancers. 

00:00:36 Carly 

Hello, everyone! My name is Carly, who you may remember from the last GOSH episode, and I will be your host for this episode of the GOSH Podcast. Ashley Greer is a cervical cancer survivor and advocate. Diagnosed with Stage 2 cervical cancer in December 2023, she underwent chemotherapy, radiation, a hysterectomy, and pelvic exenteration, including bladder removal. After a challenging journey, she was declared cancer-free on December 17, 2024. Now, Ashley is dedicated to raising awareness about cervical cancer, early detection, and life after treatment, empowering others through her story. I hope you enjoy this episode! 

00:01:25 Carly 

Welcome, Ashley. Thank you so much for being my first guest that I'm interviewing on the GOSH podcast. 

00:01:32 Ashley 

Oh, thank you for having me. 

00:01:34 Carly 

This is pretty exciting. You know, I think that these types of podcasts where we share our stories not just about cancer but specifically gynecological cancer journeys is a pretty interesting thing to listen to. So, I appreciate you being so open with our listeners sharing, you know what you've. 

00:01:49 Ashley 

Of course, happy to! 

00:01:52 Carly 

Great, so let's get started. So, let's go back to when you were first diagnosed in December of 2023. How did you first find out that you had cervical cancer diagnosis and kind of like what was going through your mind? 

00:02:07 Ashley 

Yeah. So, it was a total shock. I just woke up one morning and I was just bleeding like crazy. It really reminded me of postpartum bleeding. And it was in the middle of my cycle, and I just knew it wasn't right. So, I went to our local emerge where I ended up being diagnosed. And you know it was, it was very fast. I had ultrasound, CT scan diagnosis all within just a couple hours. So, it took a couple days for it to really like hit me. And I just remember being scared, really, really scared at the beginning. 

00:02:51 Carly 

Of course, it's like being told you're sick with any sort of illness, let alone cancer, and let alone you know, cervical cancer is a very scary thing to undergo. And how old were you at this time of your diagnosis? 

00:03:04 Ashley 

I was 34 when I was diagnosed. 

00:03:08 Carly 

Yeah. And you had two small children. 

00:03:10 Ashley 

Two little boys. Yeah, 6 and 7 yrs. 

00:03:12 Carly 

Yeah. So. you're probably thinking about them at the same time as yourself, like “Oh my gosh. How is this going to affect my children as well?” 

00:03:19 Ashley 

Of course. Yeah. My mom passed away from cancer, and my younger sibling was 9 at the time, and I just know the impact that it had on her. And I was terrified to have that for my boys. 

00:03:35 Carly 

Right. And your mom had the same type of cancer? 

00:03:38 Ashley 

My mom had lung cancer. 

00:03:39 Carly 

Lung cancer. Yeah. So here you are, as a supporter of two previous people who passed in your family, and now you're being told you have cancer. So, your mind automatically goes to, well, if they didn't make it, am I going to make it? 

00:03:51 Ashley 

100%, 100%, and my mom was young. My mom passed away when she was 47. So to be 34, I felt like I was just right behind her. So it was a whole other element of fear worked in there. 

00:04:04 Carly 

Absolutely. I'm sorry you have to go through all that. It's not a good time. So let's talk maybe a little bit about symptoms. You just kind of said that you woke up one day, you had bleeding. So, are you basically saying you didn't really have many typical symptoms that other people have had with their experiences or? 

00:04:22 Ashley 

At the time, I thought I had no symptoms. So, in my early journey I would say I had no symptoms, it was out of nowhere. Looking back though, now I realized I did have symptoms I just wasn't aware of them. After having children, I thought I had a weak pelvic floor and was having issues holding my bladder. Turns out it wasn't my bladder that was leaking. It was coming from the tumor. But I just... I didn't know any better. And bleeding after sex, I just was told previously by doctors that I just have an irritable cervix, that it's no big deal, nothing to worry about. Turns out that those were two pretty major symptoms of cervical cancer. And I just kind of brushed them off and just thought they were other regular normal day things. 

00:05:15 Carly 

Right. So, when they diagnosed your cervical cancer, did you get a PET scan, and then they saw a mass and then they did a biopsy? Or how did they actually... cause the cervix is an interesting, well not interesting but a hard area to diagnose a cancer in and it's actually rising cancer in women. Unfortunately, they're not able to beat. So how did they actually figure out that you had cervical cancer? 

00:05:40 Ashley 

So, when I was in the emerge, the doctor did a manual exam and she could see, like, actually see something on my cervix. She saw a mass of some sort. Went for ultrasound, and confirmed that there was a mass, a vascular mass. That's what I was looking for. A vascular mass. And then I was sent off to CT, which confirmed that there was a mass on my cervix. From there I was referred to the gyne oncologist where they did some biopsies just to determine the type and the staging. 

00:06:16 Carly 

Yeah, OK. Well, I mean, I'm not a survivor of cervical cancer, as you know, I'm a vulvar cancer survivor. But the one thing I'm learning about women's cancers is like, pain is your friend because it alerts you that something's wrong. You're bleeding. Right. And a lot of these cancers don't have these alerts. So as much as it's, you know, not great that you had to go through this, I'm glad that your body alerted you to be able to get seen and still be here with us, right? So, let's maybe talk a little bit about misconceptions, because I think anyone who's not had cancer or before, they've been diagnosed with cancer kind of thinks cancer is of one way, and it looks one way. So maybe what were some of the misconceptions that you had specific to your cancer, cervical cancer, before you were diagnosed. 

00:07:10 Ashley 

So, that is a hard one for me because I just didn't know anything about any types of gyne cancers at all. So, I just didn't know what to expect, so I just assumed when they said chemo and radiation, I just expected to lose my hair to be sick or everything to just be completely awful. But I also thought that after chemo radiation, everything would just be done, which for me was not the case. 

00:07:40 Carly 

That's exactly it. And I think that's, I guess the misconception here and for a lot of cancers is we don't know about a lot of these cancers because they're not the most commonly diagnosed. So they're not the most commonly spoke about cancers either, right? Yeah. And so you were in that category and you're like, What? Like, tell me Some more. I don't really understand right. And then you being, here today bringing awareness to that for the next person who's in your shoes is a really powerful thing. So again, thanks. 

00:08:10 Ashley 

Yes, I hope so. Yes, I'm trying. 

00:08:11 Carly 

Yeah, yeah. So when you just brought up the topics of chemo, radiation, you just kind of thought that would take care Of the tumor and... 

00:08:22 Ashley 

Completely. 

00:08:23 Carly 

Same. So with me, my tumor didn't fully shrink. So is that the case with you? Your tumor was still there, which means that you need the surgery. 

00:08:34 Ashley 

Yeah. So I had a relatively large tumor, super grateful and super blessed that it did not spread outside my cervix, which is uncommon for the size that I had, but it shrank probably to about half the size, but still quite large. So that led me into a hysterectomy right away. 

00:08:54 Carly 

And you underwent the pelvic exenteration surgery. 

00:08:57 Ashley 

I did. So, after my hysterectomy we were told everything was good. Everything looked great, it could not have gone better. Recovery was amazing, super easy. And then two weeks later I got a phone call that my margins were positive. 

00:09:12 Carly 

Oh sorry I misunderstood. So you had your hysterectomy before the pelvic accentuations. 

00:09:19 Ashley 

Yes. 

00:09:20 Carly 

OK, not at the same time. 

00:09:20 Ashley 

Yeah. 

00:09:22 Carly 

Yeah. So I ended up having the second surgery about two months later in that period, though, I developed a fistula, a hole in my bladder, which meant my bladder was coming out, they couldn't save it. There's also talk about my colon being removed as well, too. And they were going to decide once they got in there what it looked like and make a decision on the spot. But there wass also talks of possible vaginal reconstruction at the same time too, so it was a lot all at once, and it was a surgery going into that I didn't know how to prepare for because I didn't know what the outcome was going to be. There were so many different options and i wouldn’t know what happened until I woke up. 

00:10:10 Carly 

That's exactly it. And. And you know, I've been through some of those things that you mentioned, the vaginal vulvar reconstruction. I have lost my rectum and all that thing, but I had my hysterectomy at the same time as all of that and I was of the same mindset as you. I just was like, if I get really, like over analyzing this before I go in for surgery, maybe I'm going to wake up and be either disappointed or overwhelmed with what has and has not happened to me, so I was similar to you. I was like, until I wake up and see what I'm dealing with then it's just kind of no point to go down that Rabbit hole, right? 

00:10:46 Ashley 

Exactly. And I caught myself a few times going down the rabbit hole, so I'm really grateful for the team that I had in Kingston. They were phenomenal and they really took their time and their patience with me. I remember going into that second surgery in tears. And one of the oncologists just pulled me aside into another room and she stayed with me until I stopped crying to make sure that as I got on that table that I was comfortable as I could be and I was confident. Because it's scary, it's life altering. It changes your day-to-day. So it was a lot all At once. 

00:11:24 Carly 

Absolutely. I mean, I'm not a mother but had I been younger at my cancer diagnosis, I would have likely done or attempted to do an egg retrieval, so I'm glad that you already had your two blessings so that when you had your hysterectomy, you didn't have to think that you lost your fertility in that way and you still were able to have your two children. 

00:11:44 Ashley 

That was a difficult pill to swallow for me, kind of going into the diagnosis and I think another thing I didn't expect was that the second you start radiation, your ovaries are done. You're gone. You’re right into menopause. So even though I completed my family and I did not want any more children, having that option taken away from me out of my control was was something I really struggled with. I definitely really struggled with myself just as a woman, as a whole, losing all of my reproductive bits, you know, losing a good portion of my being and then the weight loss on top of it. So I, you know, I lost all my curves.  So that was a real struggle. Still, a real struggle is still a struggle. I still struggle with it today and I have a feeling I will for a while, but just one of those other things that was completely unexpected. 

00:12:44 Carly 

Unexpected. Yeah, and that's it, right? Like being a woman we have, especially when you're growing up. And you think this is what my life's going to be. And then you have these horrible things happen to you, and it's really hard to swallow, like you said. And to deal with and I think the first stage of dealing with these things is acknowledging them and however you want to acknowledge them, be able to therapy or self talk, whatever is super important because it really does change our views on who we are as a female, as a woman, right? So, with that pelvic exaggeration surgery, you ended up with a urostomy bag because you lost your bladder. So tell us a little bit about how you feel about that or how you deal with that. 

00:13:35 Ashley 

So it's been, it's been a doozy, so I've only had the urostomy for about four months now. I haven't not yet processed and I have not yet accepted that this is. This is my day-to-day life forever. I do typically OK with the day to day. But every time I have to change the bag, it's a bit of an internal battle where I'm constantly like, I can't believe like I have to do this now for the rest of my life. Yeah, it's hard. It definitely adds to the body dysmorphia, the body image issues. Just figuring out, you know, what clothing fits well over it. I'm really self-conscious about it. Even go using the bathrooms in public to empty the bag. I try to avoid. So it's a work in progress, the big a big change for me. 

00:14:35 Carly 

Yeah, and I think you just wanted to give you a little proud to yourself because you're doing really well only four months into this. I know my stomach is for stool, whereas yours is for urine. But same thing like how do I deal with this? That's how you and I kind of found each other was on Instagram because I had both had pelvic exenteration and we both have stomas even though it's a different, you know, type of stoma like yours being for urine and mine being for stool. One thing that I keep telling myself, and I'm you know over 7 years now, is without our stomachs, without your urostomy, or my colostomy, we would not have got those margins which took you back to that second surgery, which ultimately we need to stay alive, right?  

00:15:24 Ashley 

Yes. So I remind myself that constantly like this bag literally saved my life. So I try to give it Credit where it's... 

00:15:34 Carly 

But it doesn't mean that you want it. You know, nobody wants this, right? 

00:15:39 Ashley 

No, completely. And I think for me it like a low key blessing that I only ended up with the urostomy because I went into surgery expecting to come out with two bags. So the fact that I only Ended up with one. I'll take my wins where I can get them. 

00:15:55 Carly 

Yes. Yeah, I was just marked for the one. But they always said to me like you like you may End up with the Two and I just woke up with the one and I'm .. on our my next podcast interview. We're going to have a double ostomate on here talking about hers. 

00:16:09 Ashley 

Ohh wow. 

00:16:10 Carly 

But yeah, it's just, you know, it's a Lot to deal with I mean Is there humor in it? There absolutely, you know, we can always make jokes, set good examples for your children. For my nieces and nephews, my friends, kids. But it doesn't mean that it's always an easy thing to deal with, but it's just our reality and It's just all we have to deal with today. 

00:16:30 Ashley 

Absolutely. 

00:16:31 Carly 

 So we know we're we talked a little bit about like how things took tolls on you mentally and physically. We talked about a little bit of yourself, love like the womanhood aspect of things. So was there anything in particular that you kind of did to help yourself push through or something Like keep sake, something that just made you kind of wake up every day and kind of go in and fight this disease. 

00:16:59 Ashley 

Yeah. So I did a lot of therapy, a lot of therapy. I was really blessed at the beginning of my journey to have a really rock solid support system. And my community really rallied against me or not against me. For me. my community rallied for me. But honestly, my boys. There is not a reality for me that it exists where they grow up without me. So for them I had the option to wait and see before going into that second surgery, but it just wasn't an option. I just needed to do what I needed to do to ensure that I'm here for them and that I'm the one that gets to raise them. And you know, I want to see them graduate and play sports and I want to be a grandma one day. So for them it's just ... They were the ones that kept me going. As you know, the fight gets difficult at certain points and I think that had I not had them, it would have been a completely different story. 

00:18:08 Carly 

For sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's, that's so touching. And I'm. I'm glad they were your first, you know, to keep you and. And I'm sure it was also hard on them to see Mummy sick, and even though you did your best and your tribe, I'm sure helped with them as much as they could. But I think parenthood with illness is a whole other topic. Not an easy thing to go through, but I Iust remember with my nieces and nephews, they were quite young at the time. And i was asked do you want the kids to come see you in hospital? And I was like No, no, no They can't see Me like this. Right? I was so worried about their mental health more than my own. So jump forward, like, years later. They're all pretty much grown and I've had conversations with them and they're like, we would have been fine. Like we knew what was going on to a certain Extent so I think I didn't realize as a non parent how resilient children are too, like. So wise and like they can just handle more than we think they Can handle you know. 

00:19:11 Ashley 

Completely, completely. And we definitely raise our boys with as much transparency and honesty as we can. So we told them about the diagnosis and what that means and the different medications and you know, they have questions and we answer the questions the best we can. The biggest struggle is that at their age, all they know about cancer is Terry Fox. So, their immediate reaction to it was one, are you going to lose your leg? And two, are you going to die? So we had like some pretty, pretty heavy conversations with them. But like you said, they're so smart and they're so resilient and they just took everything as it came And creating that level of honesty with them and Making sure we have open communication I think made all the difference with them. 

00:20:06 Carly 

Yeah. And I just want to give a like shout out to Terry Fox Foundation because here there are, even though you have a different type of cancer, your kids knew a little bit more about cancer just because of Terry Fox run and all the work that's come out from there. So that made your conversation, you know, go in a different way of course. Amazing that at, you know, the 2024-2025, the conversations around cancer are a little bit more transparent than they were at least back when I was a young child In school, you know. 

00:20:36 Ashley 

Completely, completely. And it was really nice for them because we do have the Terry Fox runs at school and we have the events and it gave my children an outlet to say, yeah, I'm running for my mom and it gave the chance for their classmates to rally with them. My oldest son's class. They coordinated that. Everybody showed up in pink for Terry Fox run because that's my favorite color. So for Wyatt, it was amazing for him, he was able to see his class fully support him and the community and to know why they were doing this and how it directly impacts them. 

00:21:14 Carly 

Wow, that's amazing. That's pretty amazing. So now that we've been through some of the heartfelt stuff, why don't we go into a little bit more easier talk about things, about how you're doing now that you've been declared cancer free? I mean, the words cancer free, you know, we use them quite loosely. Nobody has really ever cancer free until you kind of get to that 5 plus year mark. No evidence of disease is used quite often. But in general, you're living free of cancer, but you're not free of cancer, but you're free of disease. So tell us a bit about that. 

00:21:55 Ashley 

Yeah. So this is the part of the conversation that I think is the hardest for me. Survivorship has been a challenge. And we laugh in my family and we say that beating cancer was actually the easy part. Now that I've moved into this land of survivorship, I feel at a pause. I didn't celebrate my cancer free news. I got the phone call that all my margins were good. Your body's good. Now it's time to start living. And the first few months it was, it was hard like how do you keep living after this? And I really struggle with my body image and the fear that I'm going to get a phone call that says oh, just kidding it's back, and what that brings. So my mental health has suffered a lot and just kind of feeling like the isolation of the cancer process and hearing so often you've beat cancer, this is great. Congratulations. Now it's time to move on. Now you can put that behind you. But it's right at the forefront. It's really changed who I am as a person, my values I think have changed. I've really seen different priorities in my life and trying to align those now with the life I live and the social network I have. So the internal struggle has been a lot. But also dealing with outside people is an interesting one and leaving my house has been uncomfortable in many cases. I get a lot of comments on my body because I did drop weight very quickly after my second surgery and I'm just working on rebuilding. So I have received a lot of comments on my body size. People are uncomfortable around me at times so they don't know what to say. But it's really obvious that they're uncomfortable, so I don't want to be in a position where I'm making other people uncomfortable. So it just seems like a lot, a lot all at once. 

00:24:17 Carly 

Isn't that interesting that people, it doesn't matter if you're of any age, any gender anywhere in this world, that people still feel the need to talk about someone else's body, right. It's a clean medical appliance. Weight loss, weight gain, whatever. And I just.. I kind of remember that I was on the other side of the spectrum, I didn’t get as thin as other cancer patients did, and I would get the other side thing. Well, you don't look sick meanwhile I was three cancer could hardly stand up. Yeah, you Kind of created this bubble that keeps you safe. Well, that keeps you safe because you feel more in your own element than if you were to leave, right? 

00:24:58 Ashley 

Yeah. Ohh, completely, completely. My house is my is my safe space and I'm blessed to work from home. So, it took me a couple months before I was really ready to leave the house and, Yeah, just the entitlement of some people and the audacity to think that it's OK to comment on bodies and you know, it's changed the way I dress. Like I love leggings, but I won't wear leggings anymore because it shows really clearly how small I am. So I purposely wear baggy stuff to try to, to try to hide it a bit. So I'm really trying to develop the sense that I just need to worry about me and this is just Part 2 of the fight and the journey is still going and it's going to continue for a while. And I just need to be happy with myself and celebrate my own wins and my own successes and not be so obsessed with what other people are saying. 

00:26:04 Carly 

Yeah, and again like I think you're doing really well for where you're at right now. I just want to continue applauding you for that. It took me years to get to where I feel like you're at right now because world is so different and I think you bring up some really great points. Like I've said this numerous times online, it's like just because I'm cancer free doesn't mean I'm free of cancer. Especially those of us who live with medical devices as a result, or Physical body changes you know. 

00:26:30 Ashley 

Yeah, it's a daily reminder. 

00:26:33 Carly 

Daily reminder, some people can have a surgery. Maybe they can avoid chemo radiation, you know and kind of look the same. Well for us, that's not what's happened, right. So we literally wake up every day and see what has happened. But I also really like where you just said, like, it's giving you a different perspective. Now it's kind of changed who you are. And I relate to that as well like I feel like We're so similar in a lot of our experiences here. I do feel like I'm a better person now. I never wanted to go back through those struggles, right? So you were just talking about, you know, about relationships are different now and all that. But I think when it comes to the comments of people saying about, you know, the way you look or all that kind of stuff, maybe try to like deliver the message with a little kindness, like kill them with kindness. Or you know what? It's OK to also say. Like, why do you think you can judge or say anything, you know, like one time I parked in the disability parking spot at Walmart and I just had my surgery a few months ago. I was just starting to drive again. And so, you know, like scars and staples and all that kind of stuff and this woman goes you can't park there because I Looked like normal, Right. And I said, do you want me to lift my dress up and show you what's Going on underneath? Right. So I just think people need to remember, like, not everything is visible. And even if it is visible with weight loss, with the medical appliance, it doesn't give you the right to say anything. 

00:28:05 Ashley 

Yes, the physical appearance is one that really, really shocked me because I I snapped through chemo and radiation basically untouched. I was very fortunate. I did really well with it. My biggest symptom was being tired and maybe bits of nausea here and there. But I struggled with the idea of being out and people constantly questioning me. Oh, how come you're not at this event? How come you're not here? Why are you not at hockey? Yeah. And being like, because I have cancer. That's why. I'm tired. So, I was really trapped in this idea that people forget that I'm sick because they don't look sick. Well, then I lost all that weight. And then I did look sick. I, you know, I dropped down to 100 lbs. You could see it. I did not look well. And I thought at that point, looking sick people would. It would trigger people to be like, Oh my gosh. Like, how do we help her? How do we do something? And it actually made people step away even further, which I had a feeling was going to happen, but I just thought it wouldn't happen to me. So that was a real interesting to see how people treated me based on what I looked like. 

00:29:21 Carly 

For sure. Do you think that your core group of friends and family have stayed the same or have you seen a decline or increase? Sometimes you see an increase in in tribe members. 

00:29:34 Ashley 

There has been a very large shift, definitely at the beginning of my journey when everything was happening, I would tell you I had the best amazing extended support network I had so many people. But as the dust settles, everybody kind of trickles back into their normal day to days. So I would say my core group has definitely gotten a lot smaller. A lot, a lot smaller. Really shocked by the shift that was created. And you know who totally understand that people are busy and work and kids and commitments 100% get it, but really surprised by the way things shifted with relationships. 

00:30:20 Carly 

Yeah. And that can also lead into another branch of discussion into like support groups or you know, finding others in similar situations, be it online or in person, within your own city. And so it's almost like you find new tribe member members because you've changed and obviously saying, like some of your relationships change and I had a few that changed as well. I don’t fault them. People have different things they can and cannot deal with, but I really found a lot of power in finding a sense of community, and that first started with me online. So, I think the more anyone can do that, the more it helps their mental health. Specifically, just because you can be like, hey, Susie. Hey, Bob, whoever you're talking to, this happened to me today. How did you deal with it? Or you just become good friends? You know, like, if I'm never out your way in Ontario, I'm going to come meet you for lunch, you know. 

00:31:13 Ashley 

You're coming over, yeah. 

00:31:16 Carly 

But I think a sense of community is really important. And however you find that, I think that's a really important thing to do with survivorship. 

00:31:26 Ashley 

Completely, and I wish that was something that I knew from the beginning how important that would be. This process is extremely isolating if you don't have somebody in your network that has been through it or something similar, and I love my friends and I love my family, but they just don't understand it. They just don't get what it's like. So I wish that I had made that step to find people who were in similar boats or who have lived through it. So I can say like, hey, like, Carly's on the other side, she's done this like, connect, take her guidance. 

00:32:06 Carly 

I mean, just you being on this podcast today, you are doing that for the next? 

00:32:12 Ashley 

That's what I want. 

00:32:13 Carly 

And that's Exactly.... And because we're talking about cancers that are considered a little more taboo and and make, you know, like if you look in the supermarkets or on the NFL football field, it's usually pink. And I I'm all about it. But I one thing I like about the NHL is they do purple, which is just the general color for cancer when it's, you know, hockey fights cancer. Yeah. Because purple is just, like, encompasses every cancer out there. And so I really think that's cool because there are more cancers now than ever before. So there are more colors than ever before. And no one cancer deserves a little less or more attention than the other, right. And everybody matters, right. So I guess I kind of like rounding up these things that we've talked about if you were to think back to what you knew at time of diagnosis. So to tell the next you out there, what would be like just a couple of things you would like somebody to know or wish You had known. 

00:33:17 Ashley 

There's no need to suffer in silence to ask for help. You have a care team for a reason, and if they don't have the answer, they will find the answer. The journey is lonely and you don't have to. You don't have to be alone during it, so it's find your new tribe. You're going to find a beautiful tribe of cancer thrivers, ostomates and lean on them and take the support. And don't be too prideful. It'll make the world of a difference. And just one day at a time. That's all we can do. Just make it through one day. One step. And move forward. 

00:34:00 Carly 

That's absolutely true. That's so true, and I think I thought about those exact same points too, like reflecting years later, you know. I was always so worried about everybody else in the early stages, which would have been you with your, your siblings, your parents, your children. And so that was like me. I always put everybody's feelings ahead of my own. And then when the dust settled, like you just mentioned, and then I was like, all right, now I got to deal with this. Like, I really got to deal with this and like our job during treatment is to go to treatment every day. Yeah. And get that chemo, that radiation, whatever you're dealing with. And then once that's all done with, you're kind of like, oh wait, that was my bubble go into the agency everyday. That was my job. And then now you've taken that job away. And now I got to learn a new job.  

00:34:50 Ashley 

Yes. Yes, my last day of radiation was difficult because it was. I was just such a beautiful habit of driving to the hospital, driving home every single day. And I really loved my radiation team. I had the same team the whole way through. I really loved them. And then it was just done. And then they do the whole we'll scan you in three months and see where you're at, but then you just kind of sit there for months wondering, like is it growing? Is it gone? What do I what? What's next? What's the next job? 

00:35:27 Carly 

And how many radiation treatments did you have? 

00:35:31 Ashley 

So I did 25 external and then I did 4 internal. And it was the internal ones that really, really shrunk my tumor. 

00:35:41 Carly 

At the end of my radiation, I was begging for it to stop. Begging for us to stop. 

00:35:46 Ashley 

Yeah, it the last couple they had to like physically lift me onto the table because I was just done. I was just done. I was just so tired. It was the exhaustion and I remember getting to. I think it was my last one. But I remember getting there and every single day they come and get you from the hallway. And it was Ashley. How are you? And I was like, oh, I'm here. And he was like, we've been waiting for this. And I was like, what do you mean, like, every day you come in here? Oh, I'm great. How are you? We've been waiting for your break. Everybody always breaks at some point. And I was like, well, I saved it for the last day. And then something happened with the radiation machine. And they had to reset it. And I was just, like, losing my cool, losing my cool on that table every time they came in and they were like, oh, we have to reset. Oh, we have to reset. And so we finally made it through the last radiation and I was just crying. Just balling because I was just so overwhelmed with everything just so done. They had a poor student who was like her in college. She's overseeing things. And we had a group hug and I pulled her into and I was like, I'm so sorry that I'm so moody , but I just need to be done. And even then, they're like, do you want us to come out With you to ring the bell? And I was like I Am not ringing the bell. 

00:37:15 Carly 

Well, I feel like I got the shaft. I never got a bell. 

00:37:18 Ashley 

You didn't have a chemo one either?  

00:37:25 Carly 

No! 

00:37:29 Ashley 

Yeah. We had a chemo one. And I tried to get out of ring again because I finished chemo and I was so nauseous and the poor nurse, she was just so sweet. She's like. But you have to ring the bell. She's like, you don't have to, but you do. And i was like OK, I'll ring the Bell and the nurse was standing there with like a barf bag, just in case. 

00:37:52 Carly 

How many came up did you have? 

00:37:56 Ashley 

7. 

00:37:57 Carly 

Yeah, we're very we're so similar to our treatment plans. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So I had my mind once a week and I had radiation every day. 

00:38:05 Ashley 

Yes, me too. 

00:38:06 Carly 

Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't lose my hair either, but it got really, like, straw. Kind of like brittle type hair. 

00:38:10 Ashley 

Yes, mine really thinned out a lot. But I didn't lose it. Lose it. So I'm thankful because that was the last piece of womanhood I was holding on to was my hair. 

00:38:24 Carly 

I know I still have not the best hair I've had to do other things because I've lost so much hair of the year, some different surgeries because you know, and then what a lot of people don't realize too is sometimes your first surgery to be cancer brings you into the next one and the next one, the next one's not necessarily, meaning you're having, you know, cancer, recurrences Every time but, hernias or ... Things come into play so every time you have any type of surgery, it's, you know, trauma for the body and hair loss is very common. 

00:38:54 Ashley 

Right. Yeah, completely. And it's amazing how many things affect the trauma, the stress, nutrition, all of it. 

00:39:02 Carly 

So let's close it out and let's talk a little bit about Ashley. The person versus Ashley, the cancer Warrior Princess. Alright, so yeah, why don't you let everyone kind of know like what you do for work and your but what your name on Instagram is all that kind of stuff. 

00:39:18 Ashley 

Yeah. So on Instagram, I'm @ashleys.path. I hope to start posting more kind of more so about like the realities of living through cancer and not just the highlights. I love my job, so I'm a social worker by trade, but I do fertility therapy so all things encompassing miscarriage, loss, Alternative family planning, surrogacy, egg donation and I'm branching now into women's cancers, into reproductive cancers. We are seeing an alarming amount of young women being diagnosed with cancers, which ultimately is going to affect their fertility and their family planning choices. And there's not enough of us out there that understand this process. I'm a firm believer in lived experience. So being somebody who's gone through it and has gone through fertility treatments also I just need to use those tools to help the next round of women, so I work for an amazing company called carried with Carried with Love. And Ariel started the company because she was a surrogate and she had a loss, a miscarriage. And just realized that there's just something missing. There's no real support. And that's something that I noticed after being told I was cancer free is that there is no support afterwards, so I really strive to be that support. I have the two most amazing little boys. They are the shining light of my life. Just beautiful, beautiful little boys. So kind and empathetic. We're really chest high right now in Rep Soccer and Rep Hockey and all that that entails. But I love being a hockey mom. I love being a goalie mom. It is honestly the best and right now. With that perspective change, we're really just focused on just living our best lives and being good people raising kind human beings. 

00:41:34 Carly 

And I love kids who see their parents or friends go through illness struggles like this makes them kinder to kids as they grow up in school and see like a kid different, or has a little something off, you know? So I think that your children are just going to be better humans because of all of this. 

00:41:53 Ashley 

Completely. And they've added such a level of comedy to this as well, I had one of my girlfriends called me up shortly after my diagnosis and she was like, she's like, I just need to ask you a question. She's like, what type of cancer do you have? And I said cervical. And she's like, OK, she's like, I did know that her son had asked my son how I was doing and he said her legs are really great. She can still run and jump. She's not going to lose them. Because of Terry Fox. So yeah, just the level of humor they've been able to add and you know they are just.. they're just funny, funny kids. 

00:42:41 Carly 

Amazing. Well, thank you so much. I look forward to seeing, you know, whatever you're going to go forward with sharing, be it on Instagram or if you do another podcast with us in the future, maybe in a year's time, we can do a follow up. But I think that you're doing really great and don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing awesome. 

00:42:58 Ashley 

Thank you. Thank you. 

00:42:59 Carly 

And I wish you, you know, hopefully continued health success in the future. 

00:43:05 Ashley 

Thank you so much for having me. This was really fun. 

00:43:08 Carly 

Thanks for coming. 

00:43:12 Ashley 

Thanks for joining us on the Gosh podcast to learn more about the Gynecologic Cancer initiative and our podcast. Make sure to check out our website at Gainey, Cancer, initiative.ca.