Mind Body and Boudoir

Clean Up Your Social Media Now

December 03, 2020 Catherine Cooper Season 1 Episode 3
Mind Body and Boudoir
Clean Up Your Social Media Now
Transcript
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What's up, y'all? In today's episode, I'm going to be talking about cleaning up your social media, why it's important, the impact it's had on my life and how awesome things have been since I've done it. So if you're interested, please stay tuned and listen to the down low. Okay? See in just a second. Welcome to the mind body and boudoir podcast. I'm your host, Catherine Cooper, wife, mother to six, lover of sweet tea and dancing. I'm also the owner of a thriving boudoir photography studio, located in Dallas, Texas. After photographing over 500 ladies that are looking for permission to feel beautiful and sexy about themselves. I'm now on a mission to help women find confidence around their mind and body while tossing the guilt of taking some time for themselves in the trash. Let's talk. All right, so I'm back. And today is December 1. That's when I'm recording this podcast. And Thanksgiving is over Thanksgiving was wonderful. We had a wonderful COVID-19 get together it was just me and my husband and my children, was not a lot of people just because I am not ready for that yet. But we did it. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. It was quick. And here's the best part about it. I did not have to bring one single item home to eat. That was hands down the best part of it. Because normally, if I cook at my home or anything like that, I have to keep that food. So whatever people don't take home, I have to keep that food and guess what? Yours truly will find some kind of way to eat it. Did not have to happen this year. I'm so happy. But that did not stop me from overeating. We'll talk about that in another episode. Okay, a whole other episode. But all in all, it was a wonderful time. And I'm so glad I got a chance to you know, hang with my family. Now it's December 1st the last month in 2020. That will also be another episode when I tell you how awesome this year has been and how challenging this year has been, which I'm pretty sure all of you can relate to. But we'll talk about that in another episode. Today's episode is all about another positive way of thinking. And it is about something as simple as cleaning up your social media. You all this is so very important when I tell you this is so very important. And honestly, it was like something that I didn't even think about doing until like, seriously did not think about doing it. Like I guess I don't know if it comes natural for some people. But it did not come natural for me. So I, it hit me like out of nowhere. I actually have a story. There's a story behind the reason you know how I had this big epiphany and decided to clean up my social media. And I'm going to tell you that in just a second. But I had it and it was something I wish I had done a long time ago. I'm sure you all can relate to things when you have that epiphany is like Oh, what? What was I thinking all this time? So anyway, um, so here's the thing. So what I mean by cleaning up your social media is, I mean, girl hit that friggin unfollow button, hit that unfollow button, and only follow accounts that make you happy. So let me just get into how this even began for me, Han. So to start with, let me just say I rely heavily on social media. Number one, of course, you all know I have a business. In order for me to make connections with people and things like that I have to be on social media, I have to have a personal Facebook page, because that's the only way I can have a business page or business group or anything like that you know, it starts with me having a personal account. I do rely heavily on it not just because I have a business but because it allows me to connect to my mentors, and all the people that help me honestly, when it comes to education and you know, giving me ideas and tips and tricks and all that even the good deep down heavy stuff. I do talk to those people a lot on social media. So social media is very, very important to me. But social media has had a negative effect on me also. And now I've learned how to control that learn how to only use it for the things that I need. So before I get into exactly how I do it, let me just tell you what brought this on. So for those of you know, I have children have a lot of children. So one of my boys in particular came to me one day He was in high school at the time I was in high school or junior high or something like that at the time. And he came to me, and he was telling me all about this basketball, my son was playing basketball. And so he was telling me all about this basketball player that had a wonderful following. He had all these people, these coaches, and the schools looking at him, and he was just doing so well, you know, and, you know, and his social media was just awesome, and just amazing. And, you know, and telling me how it made him feel down, you know, and how he felt like, he should have been doing better he should have, he should have the following. He needs to, you know, just kind of just feeding all feed himself with all the negative stuff. And so, you know, how we are when it comes to our children, okay? Doesn't that shit make you stop and look at stuff a different way, in a second? It does for me. So my kids come to me. I mean, as a parent, if you have a child and your child, it doesn't matter what it is, even from when they're little babies, if something is wrong, if they're hurting any kind of way, we're gonna figure out a way to make it okay. And so, if my so when my son came to me, and I knew he was feeling down and feeling bad, about, you know, social media, you know, this kid that he's following, you know, my heart broke. I mean, seriously, my heart broke, because I want to, like I never want, I never want any of my kids. And my kids are like friggin adults right now. But I never want them to feel any of the things like I felt right. By like, I never want them to feel down, I never want them to feel sad, I never want them to feel like depressed or, you know, anxious or anything like that I like I literally want them to feel like good all the damn time. Okay. And so if there's anything that's brought to my attention, I am gonna, like, figure out some kind of way to, you know, do the best that I can to make them feel better about, you know, things and stuff like that. So anyway, long story short, so he comes to me, and he, you know, he's telling me about this, and he's feeling down. And I'm like, the first thing came out my mouth was, so you're not him, you're not him doesn't mean that does not mean, because you see that, first of all, people only going to post the good stuff when it comes to social media, and the crazy stuff, and we'll get to that in a second. But people are only going to post the good stuff when it comes to social media, you know, because that's how you build. That's how you build a following and things like that. And so when you consume that, and you consume a lot of it, and that's all you're doing all the time, you, you leave out, so you spend all your time because we all have the same 24 hours in a day. So yes, this is exactly what I'm telling him, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. So you spending your time looking at what someone else is doing and posting and all that. And so you you're not using the time you need in order to build your own. And it's only thing is going to do is just bring you down and make you feel less than or make you feel like you're not good enough. And that person is when that is simply not the truth. And so what I told my son to do is to unfollow him, I told him, I said, it doesn't matter. I said, I'm not saying he's a bad kid or anything like that, that he's not the person to follow. But what I'm saying is that you need to unfollow him, because you have got to create a space, you got to create a positive space, where you can focus solely on what you need to do in order to grow your following. And so I think he actually did it. Yeah. Okay. So that hands down made me happy. He you know, but after I told him that, you know, and and he really seemed like he appreciated what I was saying to him. And that made me so happy. because number one, I felt like I actually saw the problem flow. Because, you know, again, as parents, we feel like I need to say the day, I need to be the one to figure out the problem, because I don't want my kid to have to deal with it. So I think he actually listened to me, and you know, he unfollowed him because he appeared to be very happy afterwards, you know, because I did bring it back up. And he said he did so but what that did for me was like, you know, before I gave him that advice, honestly, I never thought about doing that for myself. I never thought about doing that for myself. And so once I told him it made me stop and say Hmm, wait a minute. Well, what about you? You know, what about me? Okay, so remember in the beginning when I said that I am on social media, probably more than anyone in my household if I didn't say that. Then I said it in. I said it in the recording before this, the one that I messed up. But I am on social media more than anyone else Of course because I have a business and all But that doesn't mean just because I'm on there, you know, talking to my mentors and running my business and things like that, that I don't get on there when I'm sitting in the bathroom using using a bathroom, and I'm scrolling through my phone because we don't use magazines anymore, right? We don't use magazines anymore. We sit and we sit on the toilet with our cell phone. Okay. So there was a point where I was consuming social media big time, and I was doing the exact same thing that I asked my son not to do, going down the page, looking at what other photographers are doing, looking at what other, you know, models and people in the fitness industry, because I do love to work out. And I'm looking at all these people, and I am going down that rabbit hole of feeling like crap. And I didn't even realize it. And the reason why I say I didn't realize is because I was still like, you know, I'm still watching these people still logging in and looking at this stuff every single day. And but what I didn't realize is that when I will quote, first of all, I will spend time I will spend so much time on social media, outside of my mentors and all that I will spend so much time on social media and looking at other accounts and things like that. And then whenever I did decide to close the app, oh my gosh, I would feel like shit. Like, seriously, I would feel down, I couldn't shake it, I didn't understand why I was feeling that way. And when I say feeling that way, I mean, like, this could go on for a couple days, like, you know, if I look at something and I start comparing myself to something, and feeling like oh my gosh, you know, they have it all together. And I don't I should be farther along than I am, I should be doing more than what I'm doing that can last literally, like four days for me. And that's exactly what was happening. And I didn't even realize I didn't even realize why I'm waking upset. And you know, and going to bed sad. And you know, I'm snapping at people and all that kind of stuff. I'm not saying it's all due to social media, but it was a big part of it seriously a huge part of it. So what I decided was, I was just gonna simply take my own advice, and just hit the damn on Follow button. So it started with my, um, it started with my Facebook page. And if you all have never done this before, trust me when I tell you like the very first time you do it, it's like, it's like, if any of you have ever managed anyone out there have ever been a manager and you've had to fire someone, if you've ever had to do that. I've been a manager before and I've had to fire people, but the very first time I fired somebody, that was the that was that was the hardest thing in the world to do to walk up to someone and tell them that they no longer have a job. You know, and this is the reason why that it was what it felt like to unfollow someone on social media for the first time, you know, but truthfully, honestly, that person doesn't know. And that person could probably care less, just to be honest with you, they probably honestly could care less that you unfollowed them. The only thing a lot of people you know care about is I just want to build my following. You know, I don't want a bunch of people to like my stuff and all that kind of stuff. So they honestly, truly probably could care less. Um, but anyway, so my very first time I did it, it was pretty hard but it felt so good. So I went through I want to say I probably unfollowed or unfriended because this Facebook we talking about right now I probably unfriended maybe about 20 people maybe about 20 people because and so I went in and I unfollowed accounts that you know like if they get on there and they will talk about anything negative something that brought me down in any kind of way if it didn't make me feel like happy and inspired. I did not want to see you Sorry, I didn't want to see you. So I unfollowed probably about 2025 people and every time I open up my Facebook page you know going forward the days gone you know after that it was like the bomb calm it was the best feeling in the world. I kid you not okay. And then the next step was my Instagram now this one hands down was the stuff okay, this one was really good to do. So what I would do what I did on Instagram because not only can you unfollow people on Instagram, but you can stop them from following you. So you don't even have to which you know, there was less people that I have that I you know that I stopped from following me like, you know, like, I'm a boudoir photographer. So, you know if I have some creepy guy or something like that that's following me. You know, just because he wants to see See, you know what I'm posting and you know, really does me no good whatsoever, then yes, I'm gonna stop you from following me. Okay. But the biggest thing that I did was unfollow you know, accounts that made me just feel bad. And again, I don't want you guys to feel like Oz, you know, maybe she's just jealous or, or you know, or there's nothing that these people are doing wrong. No, I'm not at all saying that there's anything that these people are doing wrong, nothing at all. But if it's not something that feeds me, and if it's not something that motivates me to keep going forward, and, you know, and really just inspires me, I'm sorry, there is no reason for you to be in my feet at all. If I you know, if we're not rooting each other on, or, or, or anything like that, I'm sorry, but there is no reason for me to follow you, everyone. You I mean, I do have, you know, like I said, when I say, you know, we're helping each other What I mean by that is I have friends on there, and you know, in the business world, and in my personal life and things like that, you know, we're you know, we support each other and things like that. So of course, I'm not gonna unfollow them. But what I'm talking about is like, for instance, some of the celebrities. Okay, I'm sorry, I don't want to see you. In your, I don't want to see you in. I don't know, let me let me give an example. I don't, I want to see, okay, here's a good example. So I don't want to see anyone that is so I love fitness, I love to work out and things like that. But I don't want to see anyone that is like super ripped put together. But yes, I do want to see people who are super ripped and put together. But I don't want to see you if you're the type of person if you're the super ripped, and put together person that is, you know, not helping her followers or something like that, if everything is about, hey, just look at me, look at me, look at me look at me and my perfect little life and things like that. But you're not helping your followers, you know, in any kind of way, you're not helping them, you know, get you know, you're not giving them any tips and tricks on how to get their body like that you're not giving them any chips, or you know, or you're not letting them know, like, you know, if you make and things like things are not perfect all the time. And I'm so tired of people making it appear like oh, things are just so wonderful and perfect all the time. And that's what you see a lot of on social media, but it's not that way. It is hands down not that way. And so when you when when I see people that only show Hey, look at me in my wonderful little perfect life, and things like that. I'm not inspired by that. I'm sorry, I'm not I'm inspired by I follow a lot of fitness women, you know, and things like that. I'm very inspired by that, because that's something that I'm working towards. But if that individual because at the end of the day, it's about the individual to me. And if that individual doesn't inspire me and things like that, it's not something that makes me want to push harder towards my goal and feel like I can actually get there then I'm sorry. You do me No, good. So sorry, this just doesn't work that way for me. Now, that's me and how I feel about the people that I follow. Okay, call it selfish, call it what you want. Yeah, there you have it. But, um, that's I only want to see again, like I say, even when it comes to fashion and things like that, if it's not fashion that fits my style, I don't want to see it. Like if it's not something that not only fits my style, but this is not something that I'm inspired to wear, or I will ever wear for that matter. I just kind of don't want to see it, you know, I want to see people that wear, you know, clothing that I would probably be interested in one day or something like that. So there is no reason for me to follow you. Sorry. I mean, that's just how I see things. And the same way for me, if there is not something that I put on my Instagram or something that I put on my Facebook page that inspires you or makes you feel good about things, then by all means hit that down one Follow button because I am not one for you to see in your feed every day. You we all spend so much time consuming social media and things like that we go to social media for entertainment, okay, let's just keep it real. We go to social media for entertainment, just like if we turn on Netflix, or we turn on the radio or whatever. Are we hanging out with our friends laughing is all entertainment, you know? And so why not? I mean, we don't watch every single show on Netflix. You know we only pick shows that work for us and that makes us feel good and So that's what I mean by make your feed your, for you make your Instagram feed, make your Facebook feed for you be selfish and make it for you make it only things that inspire you and make you happy. That's it. Okay? Sorry, if I sound like I'm fussing at you or screaming at you, there's not what I'm trying to do. But, but what. But since I've done that, when I tell you, it has completely brought me out of my little shell. So when I first started my boudoir, photography, business and all that, the only thing that I would do is I spent so much time posting pictures, posting pictures of my clients and posting what I felt like everyone else wanted to see, you know, and things like that, I never would put myself on there because I spent so much time looking at other people. And I feel like I need to be this way before I can do this. And I need to look like this before I can, you know, post a picture of myself and all that all while I'm sitting here telling people, hey, you need to, you need to look, you need to be happy with your body and things like that. But here I am, I'm afraid to do it for myself. So once I got my feet to where I wanted it to be, then I was able to once I put the people that motivated me in front of me and just created everything that motivated me, it helped me accept who I am. So therefore, if you go to my Instagram page, and you go and you're in my facebook group, you see more of me, you see me talking as me, you see me posting myself in the role and edit it, you see it all because now I'm comfortable with myself, and I follow people that make me feel okay with just being myself. So anyway, that's my little rant and things like that for the day. I just I felt I just felt like it's very important that I hands down, come on here. And let you all know that because it was something that I was thinking about. And because all my morning walks, you all know how I am on my morning walks, I get all this wonderful motivation to, you know, to talk about things because I feel like I'm, whenever I do these podcast episodes, I feel like I'm talking to a friend. So this is 100% something that, you know, a conversation that I will have with a friend of mine, you know, because I want my friends to feel good about themselves and things like that. So yeah, that's, um, that's what I have done. And it is 100% change in my life and the way I feel about myself, and it makes me happy when I am pulling out my phone, because let's just be honest, we're not gonna put our phone down. We are not about to put our cell phones down. It's just not gonna happen. Okay, we love social media, we love to log in and see what people are doing and things like that. So make it something that makes you happy. Don't let it be something that brings you down. So I just I encourage you all to try it, I encourage you to try it and see how it works for yourself. See how it works for yourself to just only have a fee just for you only have a feed that makes you feel good about yourself. And if you don't have accounts in front of you that make you feel good and things like that when a girl you really have a lot of work to do. Okay, you are girl guy, whoever's listening to this podcast, you really have a lot of work to do. And there's nothing wrong with to go onto Instagram because I've done it. Okay, so let me just tell you how to do it. You go to Instagram, and you type in certain hashtags. You know type in like if you are a size to type in size to everyday women size to everyday men, if you are a size 12 type in size 12 everyday women size 12 fitness, type in size 12 fashion, size 12 clothing I use, that's how you go and you just look through and you just find different accounts. And if it's something that inspires you, you follow those people, you can always follow me You can definitely do that. You can always go to Catherine Cooper studio and you can follow me I hope I can be of inspiration if I'm not again like I said just hit that unfollow button I will not be upset. But that's how you started. You go in there are millions of millions of accounts out there and just go in and find the ones that work for you. So anyway, that's my rant for the day. I just really want to you know, encourage you all to do that. Put positive in your life, put positivity at the front of everything make it priority, make it priority to be in a positive mindset. And when you are in a positive mindset mean, getting in a pot of positive mindset means creating the positive space for yourself because it ain't gonna happen automatically. I can tell you that right now, it ain't gonna happen automatically. You have to create it for yourself. That That also means telling saying no, when the time comes, like say no, if it's something that you know, people want you to do, and things like that, and you just simply don't feel like doing it say no, it is the best feeling in the world. And maybe I need to create a, you know, an episode on the power of saying no, because there's some powerful shit, I tell you, it is the best. It's another thing that is just awesome. So anyway, that's all I have for you all today. That's all I have for you all today. I truly hope you enjoy this episode. So now I encourage all of you to when you when, when this episode is over, I encourage all of you to just stop, go clean up your social media and create some good vibes for yourself. All right, that's all I have for you all this week, and I will talk to you on an EP on that. That's all I have for you all today. And so I'll talk to you all on another episode next week. I am out you guys. Bye. If you enjoy today's episode and you're curious to learn more about me, feel free to look me up at Catherine Cooper photography calm Bye Love