In this episode we discuss the main reason people give up on what they want or once was extremely excited about. The moment you don't receive validation you think you don't have support and therefore can't move on.
In this episode we discuss the main reason people give up on what they want or once was extremely excited about. The moment you don't receive validation you think you don't have support and therefore can't move on.
What's up you guys, in today's episode we're going to talk about the reason why. If you don't receive validation for things you give up and you quit. So if you're interested in today's episode, please join me after this wonderful, awesome intro that I created. All right, I'll see you in just a second. Welcome to the mind body and Beauvoir podcast. I'm your host, Catherine Cooper, wife, mother to six lover of sweet tea and dancing. I'm also the owner of a thriving boudoir photography studio, located in Dallas, Texas. After photographing over 500 ladies that are looking for permission to feel beautiful and sexy about themselves. I'm now on a mission to help women find confident around their mind and body while tossing the guilt of taking some time for themselves in the trash. Let's check. All right, you guys. Welcome back to the mind body podcast. So this is literally my first recording first episode for 2021. Oh my goodness. So we got through 2020. And I mean, some of 2020 has rolled over into 2021. Nonetheless, we if you're listening to this podcast, you made it through 2020. And you can make it through 2021 and beyond. So round of applause for all those who hung in here. And just try the best do whatever they could to keep things positive, keep their mindset together, and just make it through these tough times that we're going through, but it's okay, because it's gonna all be Oh, it's gonna be it's gonna all be all good. We're gonna have an awesome story to tell for the ones that have never lived through anything like this. So it's gonna be all good. Okay, so like I was saying, in the intro, today's show is all about why we tend to give up and quit. The moment we don't receive validation, or someone cheering us on for the things that we think of. Now, I know I'm guilty of this. So I'm pretty sure some of you a lot of us are guilty of it. You know, I think it's just kind of like human nature. That's just something that we all go through as, as hard and as confident. As I tell myself I am I still deal with it myself. And at the end of this episode, hopefully I remember, I'm going to tell you all a awesome trick that I just started to kind of confront myself, you know, and make sure that I checked myself and you know, so to speak to make sure that you know, I'm getting out of it quickly. Okay, so anyway, I'll explain that in just a little bit. So before I even start, what I want to do is kind of give you all a little story of something that happened to me, like I have a ton of stories, but this is the one that I think this is the one that made me start the business that I have right now. And so that is my first boudoir session. So for those of you who don't know, my first boudoir session is the dread. That's what drove me and motivated me to start this entire business. Literally one photo shoot. And it's crazy because I had a client, an old client of mine, reach out to me this morning and tell me that she has started her photography, boudoir, photography, business, all from the inspiration that she got from her photoshoot with me. So that is the most amazing thing to hear. Okay, because that's exactly how it started for me. So So to give you again to go back to my story. So what happened was I I have five children, you all know well, six children, and my kids are my kids are the world to me. But I've been married for a long time. I have children and a lot of children and my entire life has always been about my children and my husband and put me last so much. So let me tell you all I like is that serious for me to the point to where when my children were younger. I had this thing in my head what If my kids and I like if we went somewhere, as long as I feel, as long as my kids look good, I'm good. Like, I could look like trash. But my kids, as long as my kids looked Okay, like their hair had to be comb, they had to have on nice, pretty clean clothes. As long as they look good, I look good. Like That was my model. Okay, so let me tell you how, what was totally wrong with that, okay? The fact that I didn't care anything about me and what I wanted to do, and I always, you know, and it was just about, like, my kids now, for sure you Those are your kids, you want to take care of your kids. So I get that. I'm a parent, but I didn't understand that. You have to take care of you first, and then everyone else. But at the time, that's that was my attitude. As long as my children look good, I'm good. You know, nobody's gonna be looking at me doesn't matter and things like that. Anyway. So moving on from that, because that's not the point. You all know, I can Dre I can go. I can go there and start chick, Jen. So anyway, so at the time when I decided to have my own boudoir shoot, the reason the reason why, how the idea came about is because I got to a point like seriously when I kid you not like I was a hairstylist at this time. And so my client probably was like leaving going out of the door. And I remember standing in my living room saying, You know what, I want something for me, I want to do something for me, I want to do something wild and crazy. And I just want to do it for me. And the first thing that came to my mind was I just want to celebrate the body that I have. And I want to do my own photo. I want to have a sexy photoshoot because at the time, I didn't know the name was boudoir. So I said I want to have a sexy photo shoot done. And so I was like, super beyond excited. So you let me tell you a little bit about me when I get an idea in my head and I'm 100% convinced that that is it. I am crazy excited about it. extremely excited about it. Okay. And I'm standing there and I'm just like, Yes, that would be so good. You know, to have a sexy photo shoot, you know, um, you know, I just want to feel good about myself. And I've always looked at like magazines and things like that of women. And you know, I love like those photos. I had this photo in my head about like Jada Pinkett, I believe. When she took this new photo when she was pregnant. It was just like the bomb calm. It was just the most gorgeous photo shoot, I felt ever And so anyway, I decided Yeah, I want a boudoir shoot. Again, like I said, I didn't know that was the name of it, but I just wanted some sexy photos of MMA. Okay. So after about probably maybe, I don't know, 10 minutes of me being like crazy excited about it. Who do I run to? Okay. I mean, I go hauling off in, I go straight to my husband. I'm like, guess what I'm gonna do? Guess what I want to do. This is gonna be so good. Guess what I want to do? And he's like, what? Okay, like, seriously, just like that. Okay? He didn't he don't have the same excitement as I do. He's just like, what? So I said, I want to have some sexy photos done for myself. As soon as he hits me with the what? My 100% over the top. Excitement goes down. 20% Okay, so now it's at 80% I'm still excited. But I but now he has me like second guessing just a little bit. Okay. Like, like, What are you thinking? Why are you not as as excited as I am? So the next thing that comes out of his mouth is who's going to do these photos? Now, mind you, I don't know. Okay, I don't even know what the hell the name of the photos are. Okay, I just know it's sexy photos. Okay, it's only thing in my head. So I don't know. So immediately when he asked me that, I'm just like, oh, gosh, you know, I'm thinking you know, is just, you know, me the first thing. He's just like, Who's gonna do them? I just hope is no guy that's gonna do it. So now, I do want to say this. There are tons of wonderful professional guy photographers out here. So I just had to point that out. beautiful, wonderful, very professional, male photographers out here. So this is just my story and how we went through things. So I don't want to discredit any male photographer at all. Okay, so he goes, I hope no male photographer is going to do it and then in my mind, I immediately went towards okay. You're the Mom, what about you know, mom guilt straight up kicked in. Okay? Because now remember what I said, like, I'm the one who's always thinking, Okay, my kids come first. long as they look good, I'm good. You know, nothing else matters. So immediately this mom guilt kicks in. And I'm just like, Okay, what will they think about me? What will he think about me? What will my friends think about me? You know, I wanted like to know, like, what would people think? Because God forbid, we don't want to let them down. Right? We don't want to look bad for them. Like, what difference does that make? But at the time, I didn't know. So that's what I was thinking at the time. So he, once he said that, it just kind of brought me down. And then, you know, so by so by him saying, Oh, I hope is no guy and things like that, you know, my excitement went down to like, 40%. So now at this time, I'm super questioning myself, you know, the conversation is over by this time, because I don't want to talk. Like, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Now, you know, like, my super bright, exciting idea has been, like, crushed now. And so I'm crazy second guessing things. So it took me so long story short, I still had the photoshoot done. But let me tell you, it took a while. Because see, I'm the type of person where, if I'm excited about something, especially if I'm 100% convinced about it. I'm doing it. Sometimes it works out for me, sometimes it doesn't work out for me. But when I'm super 100% convinced about it, that's it is happening. But when he you know, brought me when he did that to me, and here's the thing, y'all, I have a wonderful husband, wonderful supporting husband, you know, the thing is, is that he didn't understand it the way I understood it. He didn't understand just how important this was and how much I needed that. So long story short, I ended up finding a photographer. So I have this wonderful, awesome friend that is back home where I'm from, I'm from Mississippi. So I have a wonderful, awesome friend. She had her lingerie line at the time, and she was having some photographs done for some new pieces that she had coming out. She asked me to come down, let her photographer photograph me. And I wear a few pieces of her lingerie and I did it worked out wonderful. It was the best thing in the world. If I hadn't had that photoshoot, I wouldn't even be where I am right now. I wouldn't there would not be any Catherine Cooper photography at all. Okay, there would not be Catherine Cooper, photograph and Buddha. But before so before I could even get down there to have the photoshoot done. You know, it took me a minute to kind of get out of this funk, of feeling like really basically feeling kind of stupid. Okay, feeling kind of like, Oh, you know, like, what was I thinking? You know, and so, I, I'm so so it took a minute of me kind of just like, cheerleading myself on push myself back up, you know, and making myself feel good. And that's how I ended up going ahead. And, you know, and, and finding, you know, a photographer. And at the time, by the way, still didn't know that the name of it was Buddha. Hill did not know that it was called broodwar. All right. So that's another story for another day. Okay, at this point, it was still sexy photos. So anyway. So that's my story. And so that's the reason why, you know, I brought up this topic today because it made me think about so as the new year has come in, you know, I'm kind of checking myself and looking at some things and, you know, kind of looking at my business and seeing how I can do things differently. You know, and I'm all excited about it, you know, and, you know, excitement only lasts so long. That's for anyone, excitement is only gonna go so far for so long. Okay, you have to be able to hold on to that confidence to that, to that confidence that you have made the right idea. Because this the way I do things, the way I did things was exactly how other people do things. You're excited, you get this beautiful, wonderful idea. You go you tell someone and they shoot it down, and it makes you feel like crap and a lot of you will not make one freakin move because of it. You will kill that ideal you will say is way too much and you will stop it. And that's the reason why the most well, I won't say majority because I haven't done a study or anything like that. But that's the reason why a lot of dreams get smashed and trash just because we're looking for that validation. Well, let me be the one to go ahead and tell you right now. That shit will never come. I'm just being honest. That will never come you have To 100% learn to be your own cheerleader, you have to, you will not if you're the type of person where and sometimes you can point it out, sometimes you can see it. And sometimes you cannot even see it. Because there's a lot of times I have to stop. And I have to ask myself what the hell just happened? You know, why was I all excited, and now all of a sudden, my energy is low, two weeks later, because that's how it happens. We're super excited. It's brand new to us. And then two weeks later, we let time and all these negative false beliefs, you know, cloud our judgment, or someone else's reaction, cloud our judgment, here's the thing. The people around you don't mean you harm. Okay? Let me just go ahead and say that right now, before you start marking down the account I need, I need to get rid of this birth or not calendar before you start checking out lists, checking people out, I need to get rid of this friend, this friend, this family member, this mom or dad, before you start doing that, let me just tell you this, they don't mean you harm. But what you need to do is you need to learn to protect and cheer yourself on protect your mindset and cheer your cell phone. And so what I mean is, is that, definitely, you can surround yourself with other like minded people. But if you can't find those people, you have to do things to check yourself, and just know that what you want to do is okay, and it can be done. And I am speaking from experience here. I'm literally speaking from experience. This morning. I had a customer, my customer, the one that I said was inspired to do her own to become her own photographer after a photo shoot with me. I had her reach out to me and say, Hey, when is the next podcast episode going to be? And before she reached out to me, and asked me that, I was thinking to myself, Oh, my gosh, I wonder, is anyone listening to this? Does anyone even like the podcast? Like, do I sound crazy on there? You know, I always say my voice sounds deep. You know, and I'm sitting here, and I'm just listening, and I'm just feeding myself all this weird, crazy stuff. Now, I wasn't gonna stop recording my podcast. But it did make me kind of stall for a week, it did make me kind of stall. And you know, last week, I was just like, well, I don't think I don't think that many people is really listening to it. So I can get some other work done, you know, is that kind of stuff. That's what I'm talking about. When I say we kind of shut things down and kind of give up in a sense, you know, but that's, but if you can find a way to push through it. And again, I'm going to share my little tip on how to, you know, maybe my little tip will work and help you in the end. But if you can find a way to push through that, you know, then it's like awesome on the other end. So anyway, what I'm trying to say is, is that it is very, very easy to feel like you're getting nowhere to feel like it's all pointless, simply because you don't know what's on the other end, simply because you just don't know what's on the other end. But the thing is, is that if you just stop and just try and just keep going forward, even though it feels scary, and it feels weird. And you're the only one who believes in it. You just have to keep going. And I am telling you guys that this is something that I have experienced over and over again. And here's the thing, it does not go away. It does not fully 100% go away. But I think that's what keeps us pushing forward. You know, it's a good thing. It does not go away. So you have to just keep pushing yourself to do better and cheer yourself on. Okay, so now that you have listened all the way to the end of this hopefully awesome show. Now that you listened all the way to the end, let me tell you a little trick that I do to kind of check myself. So I have this little What is it called like it's not a dry erase board. You can use a dry erase board. But I have like this little big old pre and post it note thing that sits right there on the door of my office. Okay, I'm always in my office. There's not a day that goes by that I'm not in my office. So I'm always in my office so there's no way to avoid but so I have this thing on my door is huge. And what it says is at the top of it says procrastination comparing procrastination comparing yourself to others distractions. And there's something else I can't remember. Maybe I'll create like a awesome PDF. I don't know you guys If you if you feel like you want me to, like create, like awesome little, you know, checklists, you know, something that you guys can have, let me know, you know, send me a message on Instagram, remember Catherine Cooper Studio, send me a message on Instagram and let me know if that's something you'd like. But anyway, I have that. And so that's what it says up at the top. And then I have a section for the date. And then I have another section that says, I allow this to, I allow these things to take over my day. Or I was able to push past these things, and do what I need to do for myself. And so I have to check that off every single day. It's either one or the other. And it makes me check myself and say, I'm going to do better next time and I'm going to keep going. Because the reality of it is, if you do not push past it, your ass is gonna be stuck, right? where you are, you never gonna make a move and do things that you want to do for yourself never. And the reality also is the reality. Another reality, let's just get that together. Another reality is, is that you have to take care of you, in order to be the best thing to take care of others, you have to take care of you. So you saw that bright idea that you're getting in your head, go with it. It's okay. Go with it. All right, so I'm done chatting and preaching to you all hope you don't sound like I'm screaming and yelling at you. But if you feel like I am, you might need me to Okay, so that's it. That's all I have for you all today. And I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Please please please rate this podcast I need ratings. So rate this podcast let me know what you think about it. You can always find me on Instagram Catherine Cooper studio and if you are a woman I'm sorry man. I don't mean to leave you out. I would love for you to follow me on Instagram. We can chat all day. But I do have a women's only Facebook group is the mind body and broodwar insiders on Facebook you can find it and request to join and I'll be happy to have you there. So now you can also when you join you can actually put a face to this you know voice behind the microphone. So anyway, that's what I got for you guys today. I really hope you enjoyed this show. I know I have fun doing it because I'm actually standing up recording it. Okay, so I know I have fun doing it. And I love chatting with you guys and I will talk with you later. enjoyed today's episode and you're curious to learn more about me. Feel free to look me up at Catherine Cooper photography calm Bye Love