S13E05 - Fist City

Chaos and Corruption! As the Clone Wars burn across the galaxy, worlds are thrown into disarray and the hearts of heroes are being tested.

The once noble Jedi Knights have become generals and soldiers, and their trade has changed from diplomacy to death.

Keeping careful watch on the souls of the powerful warrior wizards is the Inquiry Division of the SBI, staffed with those who have the courage and strength to stand up to any Jedi who might stray from their duty....

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, one of Trash Heap Monthly's 50 Worst Podcasts on the Internet. Who's ready to win the award for least chemistry kiss today?

SPEAKER_11 0:17

Kalla set is ready to win the award for least chemistry kiss today. And like, let's be honest, look at me. That was a given.

SPEAKER_09 0:27

Cressant would gladly accept this award for best foreign douchebag.

SPEAKER_10 0:35

That sounds believable.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

Starzan will win every award. Oh, you may think you're strong, but Starzan is the strongest. You may think you're fierce, but Starzan is the fiercest. You may think you're brutal, but Starzan is the brutalest.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Because as a Jedi, we are not allowed to uh form romantic attachments. So physically we may be kissing, but uh there just won't be anything behind it.

SPEAKER_07 1:18

And if you're ready for a six-minute-long acceptance speech, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars. Chaos and corruption. As the clone wars burn across the galaxy, worlds are thrown into disarray, and the hearts of heroes are being tested. The once noble Jedi Knights have become generals and soldiers, and their trade has changed from diplomacy to death. Keeping careful watch on the souls of the powerful warrior wizards is the inquiry division of the SBI, staffed with those who have the courage and strength to stand up to any Jedi who might stray from their duty. And we don't laugh when you said duty.

SPEAKER_09 2:06

You're so mature. You're so fucking mature.

SPEAKER_07 2:09

So it's been uh another couple of months since the uh unpleasantness on Krant when the Jedi Master, Ichu Shenjon, uh accidentally killed his Padawan. Oops. Whoops. And uh you guys downloaded uh information about the Decimator that was being built at the Confederate base because you found it suspicious that you weren't told about it.

SPEAKER_11 2:35

Oh yeah. What what do we find out about the decimator?

SPEAKER_07 2:38

So, uh the files are somewhat encrypted, so does somebody want to give me a say three purple and a black? Because I'm not sure what kind of hacking tools you have, computers to unlock it.

SPEAKER_11 2:50

Elyria?

SPEAKER_01 2:53

I can try.

SPEAKER_11 2:54

I think you're the only one who has more than a two in intellect.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Any intelligence.

unknown 2:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Three success, one third.

SPEAKER_07 3:02

Oh yeah. Okay, so you can unlock some of the information. Uh you can kind of unlock either the files like that are the earliest that are on there, or the files that are the most recent.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Oh, either um. Do we want to know why it was built or how far along it is?

SPEAKER_11 3:21

Maybe why it was built. Because like if we uh like why they embarked on this project in the first place.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Yeah. Earliest, please. So I say as I'm typing.

SPEAKER_05 3:32

Earliest, please.

SPEAKER_07 3:34

So the earliest information that you can download um actually doesn't say like where like why it was initially kicked off, because uh the earliest files you have are files that were created by uh the Wookiees. So what you can learn is that the Decimator was uh discovered on a colony world called Alaris Prime that is in the uh Kashyyk system. And apparently there is a trade federation base there about 15 years ago that the Wookiees came in and destroyed, and they found the Decimator's plans in the wreckage. But after that, you can't really access any of the files about whether or not it was the Wookiees that kept working on it or somebody else picked it up or what happened since then. But uh it seems that it did start with the Trade Federation at some point.

SPEAKER_11 4:28

Interesting. And there there's no indication of like who in the Trade Federation might have left that behind.

SPEAKER_07 4:35

Because you got that threat, no, there's no information about that, because it was like they found they basically like found it in the ruins of the base they destroyed. Where it was just like one of many things they were working on.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Multitasking, I like it.

SPEAKER_07 4:50

And if you've been uh paying attention to the goings-on of the Jedi, uh, you may have uh heard that Hallen and Yigen have been redeployed to the front lines of the war.

SPEAKER_11 5:02

Oh gosh, really?

SPEAKER_07 5:03

Huh.

SPEAKER_11 5:04

Is he good?

SPEAKER_07 5:05

Uh Hallen and Yigen have been redeployed to the front lines of the war.

SPEAKER_11 5:09

Yeah, I thought they like weren't gonna be redeploying him because he was like in care. That feels weird.

SPEAKER_07 5:15

Well, maybe he got better.

SPEAKER_09 5:17

Oh, yes, of course. How long has it been since we better enough to four months? It's been about four months. Are we sure that's it?

SPEAKER_11 5:26

Can we contact somebody about this? Yeah, do we still have Yigen and our communicators?

SPEAKER_07 5:32

Uh well, your communicators, I don't think they can go that far. They're basically like cell phones, so anybody's in your network.

SPEAKER_11 5:38

We email Yigen, be like, yo, you good? You up?

SPEAKER_09 5:44

Dearest Yigen, stop. We were just wondering, stop. You good fam, stop.

SPEAKER_07 5:50

Do we do we know where they've been redeployed? Probably not. Like, you guys, as much as you kind of like you guys are kind of civilians now, so it's like they may as a courtesy have told you because you know them, but like aside from that, you probably wouldn't have that access unless you wanted to specifically go like digging around.

SPEAKER_11 6:10

Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 6:11

I want to dig around. Digging around seems like fun.

SPEAKER_11 6:14

What'd it be to dig around?

SPEAKER_07 6:16

Uh so what how are you planning to dig around? You've got your your apartment in the in the Senate district, but uh Hey Chris, you're a master of the social sciences.

SPEAKER_11 6:25

Maybe you could uh talk to people.

SPEAKER_09 6:27

Uh I was just wondering, uh I may know some people who may know some people. That that that feels as though that feels as though something I have.

SPEAKER_07 6:38

So maybe like at a party there's like some Senate interns potentially.

SPEAKER_09 6:42

That's that's exactly what I was saying. I I I I am a social being and I get to know everybody. Is there somebody in my memory bank that I might know who could help us?

SPEAKER_07 6:53

Uh so this would probably be a uh charm if you were schmoozing with people at uh your many uh house parties who who may have information. Fuck yeah. Yeah, someone in your little black book. Finally, an excuse to use term. You're trying to it would start as a two purple, probably. But you're if if you're trying to find this information on purpose, or if it's like even just accidentally you happen to come across it, you would still need to get that information from somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody kind of thing, where it's like they're involved enough. So you'd have to either get lucky or be very intentional with who you're inviting to these parties and getting drunk. So that'll be a two purple and three black charm.

SPEAKER_09 7:37

Christ, I can take away one black at least. Um two failures and three advantage.

SPEAKER_07 7:43

You can't figure out sort of where uh where where they've been deployed to, but you did get three advantage. Uh so if if you want to get the three advantage, maybe this could be you could uh find somebody who you could work.

SPEAKER_09 8:01

Okay. Like, um I like I don't know any information myself, but I know but I'm gonna be able to do that. I have a leader.

SPEAKER_07 8:09

Yeah, there's maybe you would have met somebody who you could uh pump for information later on.

SPEAKER_09 8:15

We're gonna see if we could pump her for information.

SPEAKER_11 8:19

Yeah, you gotta fake date this person. You better work. You better pump it up.

SPEAKER_07 8:25

At one of your parties, you met an individual who's kind of like, uh, as you kind of got talking to her, like she seems like a very interesting person. She was kind of a little bit cagey about like where she was from. Uh she's humanoid, pale white skin, black tattoos on her face. She's got like a long sort of white ponytail. And she mentioned a couple of times, her name is uh Zin Kudri. So you got her name, and she mentioned that she is uh an an aide to a senator. But you didn't catch the senator's name, but you did hear that uh she was like when you mentioned Hallen, if you mentioned Halan around her, she said, Oh, we're gonna go. And then she kind of stopped herself and said, I can't actually I can't tell ya. So there's a somebody, Zin Kudri, who's a Senate aide, who you get like kind of a rakish vibe from her. But maybe Cala talked to her a little bit. Give me a give me a streetwise.

SPEAKER_11 9:27

Sure. Now when you when you say rakish.

SPEAKER_09 9:31

Yeah, what is what is exactly is rakish in this situation. Not slutty.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Uh rakish is man slutty. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 9:39

Is that why you were asking if she talked to me?

SPEAKER_07 9:42

Uh give me a uh she would have been at the party. Let's say let's say a uh three purple and a black.

SPEAKER_11 9:49

Three purple and a black.

SPEAKER_07 9:50

Yeah, either uh streetwise to to get her vibe, or uh yeah, probably streetwise. Okay. Or maybe perception.

SPEAKER_11 10:02

If I can do perception, then I can remove the black.

SPEAKER_07 10:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 10:05

I'll do perception. One success, one threat.

SPEAKER_07 10:08

Ooh, one success, one threat. Okay. So what would you want to know about her?

SPEAKER_11 10:14

About her?

SPEAKER_07 10:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 10:15

Well, maybe if it's like I know that Chris is looking to to maybe get some information out of this girl, maybe it's just like, what are you into? Tell me more about yourself.

SPEAKER_07 10:28

Okay, so you got success and a threat, so you can't like the the extent she is kind of cage about it. You do get like a sense that she's got a rakish vibe about her. And you ask her, uh, what sh what's she into? And she didn't really tell you, but like, you could tell that she kind of at this party, she was sort of drifting away, and she did seem to get distracted when people started talking about swoop racing.

SPEAKER_11 10:56

Okay. I'll give that information to Chris. Chris, any chance you do swoop racing in your free time?

SPEAKER_09 11:04

Uh yes. Uh swoop w swoop racing is. Do I actually know anything about swoop racing? Do I have to roll anything for that?

SPEAKER_07 11:11

Uh well, Knowledge Underworld. Knowledge underworld.

SPEAKER_11 11:16

I guess I I'm the pilot. If anyone's doing swoop racing, it would probably be me.

SPEAKER_07 11:21

Maybe um maybe Illyria wouldn't. She's got good intelligence.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

I'm intelligent. I don't have any reason.

SPEAKER_07 11:28

I don't know how much you would know about swoop racing, so this is gonna add a black. Uh but that'll be three purple and a black. Three purple and a black for all of us? Um yeah, for knowledge and intel well, a black for Illyria. Holy shit! How do you get one success?

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Kim Kitsaragi loves fucking racing cars, and he's a cop. Anyways, two success for a threat.

SPEAKER_09 11:50

I got I got one success. Oh yes, I know I know uh enough about uh swoop racing to know uh to guide myself through a conversation and make the person that I'm talking to feel special because they're teaching me, always teaching me.

SPEAKER_10 12:07

I have uh four failures and a threat. Shoop racing? Starzan has not done that since he was a small child.

SPEAKER_11 12:14

Yeah, I got two threats. I don't know where to find the swoop races on this planet.

SPEAKER_07 12:20

Illyria, knowledge underworld. You do recognize her. Maybe, maybe there's a little bit of like rivalry. Maybe that's what those threats are. Because you recognize like the jacket she was wearing at the party was a jacket for a gang that you've heard of, not because of the swoop racing, but because they're a gang of night sister witches. Oh she was wearing a jacket with the emblem of the white witches, a swoop gang that you've heard of on Correscent that uh Oh fuck, that's so cool. May or may not change. Yeah, right. And Elyria, you would kind of, oh yeah, that's probably why she looks like that, because she's Death and Mirian. Chris, you you didn't get any any threat on that. So you can kind of like, if you did talk to her about swoop racing, you would have heard that she was um like maybe she was a little bit more open about talking about that stuff with you rather than like clandestine Senate stuff. So you may have heard that she uh before she became a Senate aide, she was like kind of a technician and a scavenger who was part of this gang, and then she, you know, turned her life around a little bit. But it's it's it's clear that she still has some potential underworld connections.

SPEAKER_09 13:40

Okay. Uh does anybody have her number? Is there any way that we might be able to Well what's the plan here? Am I asking am I uh asking her for a d uh a date so I can get this the information that I need from her, or what are we doing?

SPEAKER_11 13:58

We could ask her for a date. We could, I don't know, show up at wherever they do information. Show up wherever they do the uh the the swoop races on Coruscant and try to be like, yeah, man, we're cool like you.

SPEAKER_09 14:12

Oh, I I do like that. It feels a little bit more natural.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Hello, I've come to pump you.

SPEAKER_09 14:20

Oh, I've come to pump you for information.

SPEAKER_11 14:23

Like we go there, I'll do a race, and you just like go and lean on her car, and you're just like fancy seeing you here. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_09 14:31

Baguette. It is really hot out here. I don't know why I'm naked on your cards, burns.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Why are you naked? Isn't that Starzan's thing?

SPEAKER_11 14:41

Yes, christen Starzan naked on the woman's car. Blood movie going on.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

We need to go down there so Starzan can like do the scarf thing so the race can start.

SPEAKER_10 14:53

The scarf thing? My scarf thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Like in green!

SPEAKER_10 14:57

Throw off my loincloth and wave it in the air. That's precious.

SPEAKER_11 15:02

Everything stalls out for a minute because we're all in shock. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

What did she give him? A lock of hair from our chest. But it could be true for Starzan.

SPEAKER_11 15:14

I thought if he was throwing off his loincloth to use as the flag, it was gonna be a lock of hair from anyways. Well, he's got that stuff locked up. That's right, your chastity belt. We've established this.

SPEAKER_10 15:31

It's canon.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Because he needs to protect his seed to protect his bloodline.

SPEAKER_11 15:40

Obviously. To avoid a civil woman.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

That's the only reason.

unknown 15:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 15:45

So fetish reasons.

SPEAKER_09 15:49

Meeting her at a swoop race event seems like the right move.

SPEAKER_07 15:53

So, you guys, I don't think you have a car. Are we gonna have to buy a car? Because you have uh you have your shuttle, which is normally uh docked at the Senate complex, and your building does have a valet that can take you to the shuttle when you have a mission. Uh, but otherwise, like Starzan, he's just leaping around, but otherwise, it's probably taxis and public transport for you guys.

SPEAKER_11 16:19

Uh, what would it be to get a speeder?

SPEAKER_07 16:21

How how you're going down to the uh under-level swoop races?

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 16:26

Uh so probably like 50 credits. 50? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Oh, like to rent a couple of things.

SPEAKER_11 16:32

Well, I was thinking to purchase our own speeder.

SPEAKER_08 16:35

Oh, to purchase a speeder? Yeah, to purchase a speeder.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Can't we just sweet tark our boss and say we need a ride for some uh some uh background worker?

SPEAKER_11 16:47

Whatever call up Mr. Gray and be like, Mr. Gray, we need extra money for a speeder. We're all cooped up here. Maybe call him daddy, see if he likes that.

SPEAKER_09 16:58

Daddy, we need a car. I'm not calling Mr. Gray Daddy. Okay, well, call him anyways. Okay, I'm I'm gonna uh ring up Mr. Gray.

SPEAKER_07 17:06

He usually calls you. I don't know that you have his number. Uh if you if you want to reverse, like do a star 69 on an encrypted military line, you could try that. Uh I do so. Okay. Mr.

SPEAKER_11 17:19

Gray, what are you up to?

SPEAKER_07 17:20

This is gonna be a uh four purple and a black computers.

SPEAKER_09 17:25

For me? Okay, let's do this. Uh four purp you said four purple and a black? Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 17:31

Wait, does Chris have to do this one? Computers get Elyria do it. Chris wants to do it.

SPEAKER_09 17:39

One failure and one threat.

SPEAKER_11 17:41

Dang it!

SPEAKER_01 17:43

So you erase all of our history on the phone.

SPEAKER_07 17:49

Yeah, um, so if if you ever had Zin Kudry's number, you've now lost it.

SPEAKER_11 17:57

Why didn't you just let Elyria do it? I mean, we know at the same time every day there's a uh a speeder that drives by our apartment to check on us. What if we just held up a big sign that was like, can we have extra money for a speeder, please?

SPEAKER_07 18:14

I mean, you could go bet on a swoop race.

SPEAKER_11 18:17

But I want to go in the swoop race. I want to be a racer.

SPEAKER_07 18:23

You know, if you bet enough money on a race, you could win it back.

SPEAKER_11 18:27

I guess that's true. Yeah, fine. Let's just get a we'll rent a speeder to go down to the swoop race.

SPEAKER_07 18:35

Let's rent a cater. Are you getting a cab or are you are you renting a ride? Let's get a cab.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Cab is cooler than bus. A cab is cooler than the bus.

SPEAKER_07 18:45

Okay, so uh you can uh all get a cab down to the quircent under levels where you've heard that there are swoop races going on. Uh some of you may be uh more likely to find the race you're looking for than others. Some of you are more familiar with the underworld. Uh some of you may be drug addicts. And uh so you can you can head down. Uh and when the cab that takes you down there, like, even though the cabbie is a droid, it seems like pretty eager to get out of there, like, after it drops you off.

SPEAKER_11 19:27

Man, we're gonna have a fucking time getting a cab to pick us up again after this.

SPEAKER_09 19:31

I mean, unless you get a speed. That's okay, we'll just steal it, we'll just steal the cruiser. I'm joking. Maybe.

SPEAKER_11 19:38

Unless you're not joking and we just oh.

SPEAKER_09 19:42

I I I look at you with a very blank face, but kinda like.

SPEAKER_11 19:48

Listen, we'll see where the night takes us. We'll see what the night takes us.

SPEAKER_09 19:51

That's all we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

I'm sure it'll be fine if we just walk a few floors up and then we can get a ride from there.

SPEAKER_11 19:58

How long does it take?

SPEAKER_01 19:59

I feel like some of us have been neglecting our physical training for the past few months, so I think it'll do us all good.

SPEAKER_11 20:05

Are there any pointed looks accompanying that statement?

SPEAKER_09 20:08

My body is a temple. I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_11 20:12

Is it is it me?

SPEAKER_01 20:13

What do you mean is it What do you mean pointed looks? I feel like the tone was pointed enough at everyone. Maybe except Tarzan except Starzan.

SPEAKER_11 20:22

I was gonna say everyone except Starzan. So really just you two.

SPEAKER_09 20:27

I am oh come on. I am the epitome of unrealistic body image.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

And Starzan's already used to climbing up and down floors because he does that. Just cause scratches.

SPEAKER_10 20:39

As recreation.

SPEAKER_11 20:40

I don't need to have good cario. Leave me alone, shut up. Good cario.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

I mean, we can take the stairs, we don't have to just like climb up like Starzan is.

SPEAKER_11 20:52

K just get off my ass, Illyria. Geez! I know I haven't been hitting the treadmill. I know. Sorry. Just felt like the sort of thing I should be thin skinned about. Anyways, can we find a swoop race?

SPEAKER_07 21:08

Uh give me a yeah, streetwise knowledge underworld. Uh, either or. Um you are in the under levels, you're kinda in the area where where you need uh to find it. So we'll call this a two-purple, but you are a little unfamiliar with this particular area, probably, so we'll throw a black on there.

SPEAKER_10 21:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 21:26

Just throw a black on there.

SPEAKER_11 21:27

Just for fun. For funs. I got one success, two threat.

SPEAKER_09 21:32

One success and two threat. Nope. Okay. No, no. Well, that success is the thing. I mean the success. I'll draw underworld. I'm trying to get an advantage and it didn't work. Underworld, two success.

SPEAKER_10 21:43

There you go. No advantage, shit. Hold on, let me try it. I have no hope. Give us one, just one advantage, come on.

SPEAKER_09 21:50

Come on, one advantage. One failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Hey So I love this game.

SPEAKER_07 22:00

And Chris, uh, you can all find this uh swoop track uh where the races are happening. Unfortunately, you because you got that threat, so everybody's kind of like looking at you guys dressed in your little uh Jedi service core matching blue outfits. Oh my god, could I have bought something else?

SPEAKER_11 22:26

Could I have bought something else, like just some normal looking fucking clothes to wear in our off time? Could I have done that between games?

SPEAKER_07 22:36

At the very least, I think Illyria probably wouldn't have changed her clothes.

SPEAKER_11 22:40

Elyria wouldn't have, but could I buy just a.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Couldn't you tell me what I would and wouldn't change?

SPEAKER_11 22:45

Could I just have bought a secondary set of heavy clothing just in Star Wars Earth tones?

SPEAKER_07 22:53

Uh yeah. So if you want to uh have bought some more clothes. Is this equipment or is it just like just different clothes?

SPEAKER_11 23:00

Just just fucking different clothes. I'll just buy a different set of I because right now my equipment is as heavy clothing. I'll just buy a different ty set of heavy clothing.

SPEAKER_07 23:08

It's the same, but just different.

SPEAKER_11 23:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 23:12

So uh yes, s some some of you look more different than others. Uh some of you look more Jedi-like, and but you still like have kind of the vibe that you don't belong there. So you do get approached by this slimy little critter. Like he comes up to your waist, he's like really he's got like this patchy fur. You don't know what he is, like maybe he's like maybe that's what Jawaz look like under there. He's kind of rat-like. And he looks diseased and deranged. Hate that. And he comes up to you and he kind of sniffs around and he says, you smell like drug addicts.

SPEAKER_05 23:56

Oh. Ah, plural. That's new. I got I got something that you're looking for, I think. What do you think about it? What do you got?

SPEAKER_01 24:06

I think we are good. We are just looking uh for friendly race.

SPEAKER_11 24:13

For a second, Elyria. What do you got?

SPEAKER_09 24:15

I think I got some self-reflection to do. I didn't think I was an addict, but maybe I am.

SPEAKER_03 24:21

Maybe Starzan is addicted to working out.

SPEAKER_11 24:25

Listen to you, little rat answer the question. What do you got?

SPEAKER_07 24:28

And as you do you grab him and shake him.

SPEAKER_11 24:30

What do you got? You don't just tell me what you got and then don't give tell me anything.

SPEAKER_07 24:34

So his coat his coat falls open and he shows you everything. He's got like he's turned, like, almost it looks like self-surgery. He's got these cybernetic implants in his little round gut that like he's turned his internal organs into like a a a little drug manufacturing thing. And you can see he's got like these little like semi-transparent windows, and there's this like glowing green liquid sloshing around in his quote-unquote stomach.

SPEAKER_11 25:06

Why does my brain just go like, wow, he's like a portable Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, Willy Wonka's meth factory?

SPEAKER_07 25:14

And like he starts like stroking his six rodent teats, and like the glowing fluid starts dripping out of his nipples, and he's like, Do you want a suckle? It'll make you feel good.

SPEAKER_09 25:29

Is this drugs? Mama me, I'm cured! I never want to touch anything ever again!

SPEAKER_11 25:37

Yeah, Cala said, uh, I feel like that might be a bridge too far even for her.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

I feel like you have to roll some sort of discipline in the speedle.

SPEAKER_07 25:47

When you face with this grotesque metaphor for addiction. So Cala, give me a don't roll against anything.

SPEAKER_11 25:59

Discipline. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 26:00

This is tween y'all. I'm just gonna stick better on this one.

SPEAKER_11 26:03

I'm gonna laugh my ass off if I roll a wash. Or just advantage. Three success. I don't need to take a suckle.

SPEAKER_07 26:10

Yeah, it's very it's very easy to not take a suckle from this little critter.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

I'm proud of you for overcoming your baser instincts.

SPEAKER_11 26:21

Was there a part of you that thought I would take a suckle off a rat? Elyria, I hate that silence. I don't like that silence.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Starzan not here to yuck anyone's yum.

SPEAKER_11 26:36

That should not be anyone's yum. No thank you. No thank you, my little guy. Goodbye. Yeah, maybe I got something else.

SPEAKER_09 26:46

What else you're interested in. We're not walking away fast enough. Let's go. You yeah, let's uh let's see. This man is not going to yield anything but.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

You don't want to hear what else he has to offer us.

SPEAKER_09 27:00

What else do you have to offer us, I guess?

SPEAKER_05 27:03

This is a trap. Well, what are you interested in?

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Okay, let's go.

SPEAKER_11 27:09

Yeah, no. Nah, nah nah. Nah nah nah. I don't want to know what else he's secreting.

SPEAKER_07 27:14

So, uh, Starzan, while all this is going on, you got that advantage.

unknown 27:20

Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 27:23

Uh and in the underworld, there's lots of uh like sleazy tabloids and broadsheets and like holozines and stuff that are distributed. They may or may not have accurate information, uh, but you do uh notice one because you do have like this job with the SBI. Uh you do notice a story in one of these holozines that keeps popping up that's like, huh. And according to one of these tabloids, uh, there's a story in there that you notice uh where apparently some woman in the Coruscent Underworld is claiming that she was um one or maybe not one night, but uh that she has been left high and dry with a tadpole on behalf of one Jedi Council member Kit Fisto. What my boy?

SPEAKER_11 28:25

Is Kit Fisto in a sex scandal? Oh my.

SPEAKER_07 28:29

There seems to be a bubbling sex scandal involving uh Kit Fisto potentially having fathered a uh a tadpole with a uh lady in waiting at a local bordello.

SPEAKER_10 28:43

Oh my god. Hang on a second. What? I I I just out of character, I just didn't expect uh Kit Fisto to be the breeder type.

SPEAKER_11 28:56

Well, you know what those Nautilans are like.

SPEAKER_10 28:58

You know, they call him they call him Fisto for a reason, you know.

SPEAKER_11 29:02

You thought it was because he preferred using the fisto?

SPEAKER_10 29:05

I think it's short for fist wall. Like, if you see his fist, there are nor there are normal-sized fists. He is not the fist.

SPEAKER_11 29:18

Are you saying that you thought that perhaps he preferred to be turned into a hand puppet?

SPEAKER_10 29:25

Call him Kermit. Because he wants that rainbow connection. So I'm starting to out of character. I don't want a metagame. But I'm starting to think there might not be too much to this rumor. Just a tabloid?

SPEAKER_07 29:43

Uh there the the tabloid does have a screen grab from a hollow vid, and it definitely looks like Kit Fisto was rod dogging this prostitute.

SPEAKER_10 29:52

Whoa! I like I like how it implied subtleness, like, you know, there's a rumor this might be possible. No, even what's the first one?

SPEAKER_11 30:00

Also, here's the evidence.

SPEAKER_07 30:01

Yeah, we can just flip to the you like swipe to the next page in the holo zine, and it's just like, oh, oh. Does he say anything racist afterwards?

SPEAKER_10 30:12

The whole thing was recorded by Master the Love Sponge on home video.

SPEAKER_11 30:18

Oh god, the kid fisto piss tape. Oh god.

SPEAKER_07 30:24

Pisto. Kit pisto. Oh god. So if you if you got time down here, it might be worth investigating that before it becomes an issue.

SPEAKER_10 30:34

Before it becomes an issue.

SPEAKER_07 30:36

Well, right now it seems to just be like you didn't hear of it, like in your in all your free time watching like Price's Right reruns and like uh at cable news channels. You you didn't hear of this, so uh the narbies haven't seen it yet. This is very space fortune.

SPEAKER_11 30:51

Only Underworld. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, so we find we find the swoop race.

SPEAKER_07 30:57

Yeah, you find you find the swoop race, you can uh extradite yourself from these creepy little fellows. Uh pick up a load this Holozine onto your data pad for uh, you know, future future reference perhaps.

SPEAKER_09 31:11

Is that is that is um the one person with the magic nipples wear uh wearing like a multi-broad uh sort of getup there, or are it's just tits hanging out?

SPEAKER_07 31:22

No, he's just got he's just like bare under his coat. Okay. Because he needs to like easy access to his equipment. The tits are the equipment. The tits are the equipment, of course. And the and the brewery he's got set up in his gut.

SPEAKER_11 31:35

So vile. Anyways, do we see this person at the swoop race?

SPEAKER_07 31:39

You're you're specifically looking for uh this girl who's at your party, this Zin.

SPEAKER_11 31:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 31:46

Yeah, so Dathomiri are not super common in the galaxy. They tend to stay on Dathomir. Uh, but because she did sort of claim to have turned her life around and she does sort of have a job as a Senate aide, and also she may not, she said she was going somewhere, so she may not still be on Coruscant. Uh so this is gonna be a three purple and a black to find her. She may be like laying low, she may have been being wearing a disguise, she might not even be there.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

That'd be perception. Yeah. Two failure, two threat. I am not cutting it on.

SPEAKER_07 32:21

One failure. One failure.

SPEAKER_10 32:23

I got two success, three threat.

SPEAKER_07 32:26

Illyria, you don't see her. Uh Kala, you don't see her, Chris, you don't see her. But Starzan, you can spot her. She is wearing uh disguise, but you do uh you do recognize her. And you can see that she's like running kind of back and forth between a couple of swoop bikes that uh seem to be jockeyed by some other Dathamiri women. There is a uh male Zabrak that's there as well that seems to kind of be helping her out, uh throwing her like tools as she calls for them. Unfortunately, like you, like this big muscular dude just standing there staring at them, like they do eventually notice you, and they notice kind of you and Illyria and Starzan and Illyria, you got that threat, and you kind of get a little bit of like bad vibes from them, not like evil vibes, but more like they seem to like recognize you in the force, and you have like that taste in the force that is like white bread with no butter, and you get the feeling you're like, oh, Jedi. Uh nerds. Kala and Chris, uh, for some reason uh you're not as white bred. Might be all the uh partying you get up to. Starzan uh abstains from certain things, Illyria is a bit of a wet blanket as well. So your tastes in the force are are a little a little bit uh more Jedi like than Kala and Chris's. But they do notice you, they do clock you as like uh the kids from across the lake, and they do kind of go back to their work.

SPEAKER_09 34:10

You better not you you better not uh think poorly of us. We own you uh wishing I was drunk. What?

SPEAKER_11 34:20

You you shout that to them across the lake. We own you. I was gonna say go throw on the croissant charm, but now I'm like, is that the charm?

SPEAKER_09 34:31

Um okay, so I go I go up to them, I'm just like, Bonjour, uh, may I may I ask you some questions?

SPEAKER_07 34:38

Uh the the Zabrak, he kind of like steps up to you. It seems like he might be like kind of the muscle of the group, and he says, hey, back off.

SPEAKER_09 34:47

Oh, I'm I'm sorry, I just uh we are not here to uh for any trouble, we are not here for any harm. Uh we would just simply like to talk to Zin.

SPEAKER_07 34:57

Yeah, you know, we hear that quite a lot. People saying they don't want no trouble and then uh trying to beat the shit out of us. So uh what are you really doing here, Jedi? I mean, we're not here we're not Jedi.

SPEAKER_09 35:09

We are no Jedi. You stink like Jedi.

SPEAKER_11 35:12

Also, look at him, you think he could beat the shit out of anyone? Sorry.

SPEAKER_09 35:17

Ignore her.

SPEAKER_11 35:19

Uh, don't ignore me.

SPEAKER_09 35:23

Ignore her. Listen, I have been around Jedi all day. They keep trying to make me lamer than I actu lamer than I actually am. Well, yeah, what are you doing spending all your time around Jedi? Uh basically I feel like the uh Z Janitor. But I know some but I know uh a couple of the secrets, you see. You got secrets about the Jedi? Uh I might I may, I may not. It depends on whether or not we may be able to see Zinn.

SPEAKER_07 35:52

Give me a do you have do you have secrets about the Jedi?

SPEAKER_09 35:55

Oh shit, no, I'm not a liar, am I? Fuck. Uh no, I don't. That would be deception.

SPEAKER_07 36:01

It could be a charm if you do have secrets about the Jedi.

SPEAKER_11 36:05

Um uh we uh we have the decimator thing. Ah, we uh I don't know if you want to tell her about that, but like we have that.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

You just should just tell them the lame personal secrets.

SPEAKER_07 36:19

I mean, you you know that uh Ichu Shenjan did not die as uh was claimed. Like you do have some secrets. Uh I do have some I do have some secrets.

SPEAKER_11 36:30

I don't know if they would be useful to them, but you know about uh fucking buddy who sent his secret family off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 36:38

We know some Jedi secrets, but like, you know. You know Kit Fisto apparently raw dogged some girl at a brothel.

SPEAKER_11 36:45

Yeah, but that's in all the papers down here.

SPEAKER_09 36:48

They might not know.

SPEAKER_11 36:49

Hey, have you seen this sex tape?

SPEAKER_09 36:51

So that so yeah, in that in that case, yeah, that that would be a charm. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 36:55

So, uh, against this guy. So he already doesn't like you. Uh so that's gonna be a red and a black. Get to take away that black. Just a red and a black? Yeah, gonna give you a destiny point here.

SPEAKER_09 37:08

Uh two success, two advantage, and a triumph. Hey.

SPEAKER_07 37:13

And uh he kinda looks back to the uh head mechanic who is Zinn, and he says, Hey Zinn, uh, these four say they have some uh interesting info about the Jedi we might be interested in. What do you think? And she kinda lifts up her welding mask, and you can see that she recognizes you, and she says, Oh, hey, Chris, right?

SPEAKER_09 37:39

Ah, you remember me. It's uh that's beautiful because I remember you too. Oh, that's nice. I I uh I'm sorry? Uh don't don't take it personally. Okay. It's hard not to, but I'll move on. So uh what are you doing down here? Did you follow me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. We we we didn't f uh we didn't follow you. We just n uh We need your help.

SPEAKER_07 38:11

Uh okay with what? What does that have to do with uh Jedi Secret?

SPEAKER_09 38:15

Uh doesn't it?

SPEAKER_07 38:16

How much did you tell her about your job?

SPEAKER_09 38:19

Um see how drunk you got. I probably would have been stupidly open with her.

SPEAKER_07 38:26

I mean, does Chris want his uh Dathamirian Goth GF? So let's say this would be a it'll be a resilience. Let's say it's a three purple resilience to determine how many uh how drunk you got.

SPEAKER_09 38:40

Okay, resilience. I am not great at resilience. Sorry, how many? Uh what was the roll? Uh three purple. Three purple. How many desk points do we got? You got five. I'm a flip one. One success, three f threat, and a triumph.

SPEAKER_07 38:56

Oh. Yeah, so uh you definitely managed to uh hold back. Those threat, I think she understands that you are somebody who is in some way connected to the Jedi, but you didn't spill any beans, and you could have even like lied to her a little bit about what you do and who you are, maybe make yourself seem a bit more important.

SPEAKER_09 39:19

More mysterious.

SPEAKER_07 39:20

Yeah. So how much how much did you tell her then? What did you tell her about your uh job at the party or or yourself, like who you are?

SPEAKER_09 39:29

I am an investigator. Uh I uh I am a prof I am a professional detective uh detective.

SPEAKER_10 39:38

You're a private dick.

SPEAKER_09 39:40

Yeah. A pr a pri a private detective on the beha on behalf of the uh republic.

SPEAKER_07 39:46

So so did you tell me about your Jedi affiliations? Uh or did you just leave it at that, like you're you're a group of detectives?

SPEAKER_09 39:54

We're a group we're a group of detectives who uh takes jobs mostly from the republics. That seem right yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 40:03

So you're you're like uh are are you like Woodward and Bernstein? You're like journalists?

SPEAKER_09 40:08

Yeah. We're we we have our uh we can we're thinking of starting our own podcast with with our uh cases, but we need to uh uh we need to uh get more cases under our belts first before we can actually get started with like a true crime podcast, but you actually have the skills to solve it.

SPEAKER_07 40:28

Exactly.

SPEAKER_10 40:29

Uh only Jedi.

SPEAKER_11 40:30

There's nothing to win a girl's heart faster than tell her you're thinking about starting a podcast. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_07 40:38

Maybe that's where the threat comes in.

SPEAKER_11 40:42

You know, like once we can afford we have money for microphones, then we're totally gonna.

SPEAKER_09 40:48

Oh, so far we are just using the microphone on our laptop.

SPEAKER_07 40:53

Oh so, okay, so um so she doesn't know she kind of gets to know that you're detectives, and she says, Oh, is this for uh one of your many vaunted cases on your podcast?

SPEAKER_09 41:04

Oh, wee, but uh this person is uh the person we're looking for is uh important to us, and we feel as though I know that you have connections to the Senate.

SPEAKER_07 41:19

And she before you can say that, she puts like her finger on your lips and she says, Not another word. Okay. And she says, Come into this dark alcove with me.

SPEAKER_09 41:28

Oh, yeah, see.

SPEAKER_07 41:31

Dark alcove, let's go. And she like takes your hand uh and uh goes into this dark alcove with me, and she gets up like real like close, like nose to nose with you, and she says, Not all of my friends know about my uh daytime job, and not all of them I think would approve. So Not another word. Yes, if you want information from me, uh maybe find a different way to ask.

SPEAKER_09 41:58

Hmm. Maybe uh maybe in your room a little later on.

SPEAKER_08 42:03

Oh, smooth as butter. Pump that information!

SPEAKER_09 42:15

Uh what kind of charm?

SPEAKER_11 42:17

I feel like you gotta get a blue on that. That was slick.

SPEAKER_10 42:24

Croissant is what Almond wishes he was.

SPEAKER_07 42:28

Okay, so this is gonna be against a uh red and two purple. We can we can say you can add a blue onto that. Red, two purple and a blue. Uh a success advantage in a trial.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Hell yeah!

SPEAKER_08 42:40

He's too slick! He's too slick. I'm too slick.

SPEAKER_07 42:45

Oh man. And she says, maybe, maybe that will happen. You know, a uh a girl like me though, she doesn't just uh let any throbbing machine between her legs, you know.

SPEAKER_09 43:00

Woo! Well, uh, under the right circumstances I can be unique.

SPEAKER_07 43:05

Look, you're a uh detective. I am trying to make sure that uh my friends can win this race, so how about we do a little bit of a trade? I tell you what you want if you do something for me first.

SPEAKER_09 43:16

Ah. Now uh now we're talking. I thought we were gonna do more uh more later on, but this will be fine.

SPEAKER_07 43:24

We can do more later on, depending on how good at the job you are. I like a man who's competent. I can I can reek of competency.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_07 43:37

What do you need done? My work is good, but uh some of the other racers they cheat.

SPEAKER_09 43:42

Oh, of course. That's terrible.

SPEAKER_07 43:45

Some of the hot sponsored racers, they have a uh bit of a technological advantage. I was wondering if maybe you could uh pick something up for me from their territory that could help us level the playing field.

SPEAKER_09 44:00

And and uh if uh if I do this, you'll uh let me in on that little uh what you know?

SPEAKER_07 44:08

Yes, we can uh maybe discuss it later over a holoflex and chills. I'm f I'm in.

SPEAKER_11 44:16

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_09 44:18

Alright, where uh where do you uh where do you go and uh uh how much do you want?

SPEAKER_07 44:26

Well, what you need to do is go to the garage over in Hot Territory and see if you can uh pick up something like this. And she holds up a data pad that has a piece of equipment on it that I don't know. Roll me a mechanics. Mechanics.

SPEAKER_09 44:41

Yeah. Uh what kind of mechanics? Uh three purple. Three purple. One, two, three purple. Uh one threat.

SPEAKER_07 44:50

Uh, you don't know what it is. Okay. And you kind of forget what it looks like when she puts it away.

SPEAKER_09 44:56

Uh uh t what what uh one moment, please uh one of me. Um can I take a picture of that? What a uh just just to be sure. She shows it to you again. I I I get out my camera, I take a pic I I take a picture of it, and then I I uh then I uh ask her, would you like a pi uh would you like a picture? You're very pretty right now. A picture of me? I know how I look. Ah, I trust you that you do. And then uh maybe you'll allow me to rema uh remember you later. Alright. I I think I got what I need. Let's uh let's go.

SPEAKER_07 45:34

So you can return to your friends. She returns from the alcove and uh gets back to work.

SPEAKER_11 45:39

Okay, what'd you get from her?

SPEAKER_09 45:41

We might get uh we might be able to bump her for more information later, but uh uh for now she wants us to uh go to uh the hut garage and take, and I bring out my phone, I'm like, whatever the hell this is, I I don't know what this is.

SPEAKER_11 45:57

Could we roll mechanics to try to recognize it?

SPEAKER_07 46:00

Yeah, so uh Boomer over here took a picture of somebody else's screen. So it's a little blurry and out of focus, so that'll add a uh a black onto it.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Look, it's totally a normal thing to do for young people as a drop it to our to my phone.

SPEAKER_08 46:21

Three purple and a black.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I say young people.

SPEAKER_11 46:23

Could I add a blue because I am a pilot? And I might have encountered this before.

SPEAKER_07 46:28

Um are you a swoop driver?

SPEAKER_08 46:32

No.

SPEAKER_11 46:33

I just wanna I just wanted to see if I can get away with getting a blue. I got two failures.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

Uh I got two failures and one advantage.

SPEAKER_11 46:41

Ooh.

SPEAKER_10 46:42

Starzan? One failure, one threat.

SPEAKER_02 46:45

Hmm. You tried smashing me with a stick.

SPEAKER_10 46:49

Oh god.

SPEAKER_09 46:51

Oh god.

SPEAKER_07 46:52

So uh yeah, none of you know what it is. Uh Starzan, maybe you're like trying to reach into Al's phone to get it. Chris's phone.

SPEAKER_11 47:03

It's inside the computer. It's so simple.

SPEAKER_07 47:06

It's in the phone. That's that's where we get it. It's so simple. It's in the phone.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

It's a picture of a picture, so he just doesn't understand what's happening at all.

SPEAKER_09 47:16

This is like that mind freak show. And then we're just sort of we all kind of just look at each other and we're like, oh, we know what this is, though, right? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_11 47:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 47:26

Yeah, we know what this is. We absolutely so we need to go to Zihad Garage and gazist, and then she'll tell us what we need to know.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Hey, I had an advantage on that.

SPEAKER_07 47:37

You got an advantage. Um, so although you can't tell what it is, like in the picture, there are some like scale clues. So you can see that it is like quite large. It's about like it's a cylindrical object. It's got like uh it seems to have like an intake fan on one end, and it seems to be about as large as uh Starzan's biceps.

SPEAKER_11 48:04

Oh. Like both of them together or just one?

SPEAKER_07 48:06

Just one.

SPEAKER_11 48:07

Okay. Hey, Starzan could carry his own bicep, right?

SPEAKER_07 48:12

So it's not like something you could pocket, but it's not uh something that you're gonna need like a lot of help to get moving.

SPEAKER_11 48:20

Well, maybe we just like we find a hot garage and we're like, hey, have you seen this picture? And you show them the picture, and then they're like, oh yeah, it's right over there, and then I will be at a vantage point and I'll just shoot him in the head and then you can steal it. Whoa! Well, I don't know, I'm just brainstorming. Or we don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_09 48:39

Is is that something that we do? Is that is that? Um, no no no, not not even that, but like, I don't think that's gonna be that simple. I think that's gonna be like, hey, do you guys know what this is? And then they'll be like, oh, that's after that, get them! And then they shoot us.

SPEAKER_11 48:59

Okay, well I'm just I'm just throwing it out there, throwing out an idea, and then we can workshop from there, right? Okay, then we're saying no to just shooting them and hoping that they point us in the right direction. That's fine, Michael, let's just move on. Now someone else make a suggestion.

SPEAKER_09 49:15

Huh? Motherfucker! What do the huts want? I'm just I'm just curious. What do you what do you think the huts want?

SPEAKER_11 49:22

I mean, what does I uh I don't know. I'm sure different huts want different things. Does she say which garage to get it at?

SPEAKER_09 49:30

From z from the huts garage.

SPEAKER_07 49:32

It seems like there's like this is probably the territory of a specific hut that this race is near.

SPEAKER_09 49:38

Can we ask can we ask people in the in like Zin's garage if we can be like if uh we can uh uh or it where Okay, two things. One, where the garage is, and two, where the hut garage is, and two, uh, what is this thing?

SPEAKER_11 49:57

Um, do you wanna go back? I I like would we be able to maybe listen to the other people who are here at the swoop race to get an idea of where the garage might be? If there's anyone else muttering about like So, like perception, just to overhear, yeah. Like that damn hut ripped me off at that garage over there.

SPEAKER_07 50:16

Yeah, so uh this would probably be two purple and two black perception.

SPEAKER_09 50:22

Two purple and two black.

SPEAKER_00 50:24

I got one success, two threat.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

God damn, does can any of us look around?

SPEAKER_11 50:30

They're allowed. Oh.

SPEAKER_10 50:31

Oh, damn.

SPEAKER_01 50:32

No, I meant like, are we all not kinda five success, three threat. I'm bitch. One failure, one threat. Nice.

SPEAKER_07 50:40

So Kala and Starzan, you guys got success with threat. So you can overhear. So you're specifically looking to overhear, like, where the huts are and what this thing is. So you both got threat. You can pick one. Ooh. And it would be the same one for for both of you since you both got threat.

SPEAKER_11 51:00

What do you think, Starzan? I feel like we should probably hear where it is, because like I want to know what it is, but that is also kind of pointless if we cannot actually acquire it. How do we find it?

SPEAKER_07 51:11

Okay, so uh by listening around. You can overhear this uh this district is kind of on the edge of a territory overseen by a hut known as Queen Jewel.

SPEAKER_11 51:28

Queen Jewel?

SPEAKER_07 51:29

Yeah. Oh. Uh, who has turned it into a leisure zone. Ooh. Uh that's that's probably why the prominence of sex scandals like bordellos, brothels, casinos, like pleasure palaces, a lot of like fancy restaurants selling illegal foodstuffs. Like, if you want to eat a person, you could probably do that here.

SPEAKER_10 51:53

That's right. All the sex asses.

SPEAKER_11 51:57

Sex asses as far as the eye can see.

SPEAKER_07 52:00

Yeah, there's just like you look around and you can just see like crates of like old moldy sex asses that look like they've been there for a thousand years.

SPEAKER_11 52:09

There's just like a wall with a bunch of sex asses and a line all mounted up.

SPEAKER_10 52:14

I hear the owners mysteriously disappeared.

SPEAKER_07 52:17

It's like there's there's an old like shipping manifest from terrorists and it says surplus.

SPEAKER_05 52:25

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_07 52:25

Is it Easter yet? Getting eggs everywhere. The Almon guarantee. Uh so Chris, uh, you got a triumph? I did. One singular triumph. Uh, so you can't learn anything about uh what this thing you're supposed to find is, or uh where hot territory is, or what kind of hot territory it is, or where the garage is. But while you're here in sort of the underworld zone, is there anything else you think might be worth looking into?

SPEAKER_02 52:55

Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 52:56

Um try I'm trying to think here. Because if there's anything you think like would come in handy for for getting that thing, you could probably find Oh, figuring figuring out like um how to make good with the huts, if anything. Okay. So if you're trying to like get in the huts good graces before you kind of go after like, are you is it a thing where you're like, oh, if we present them this, then we'll be able to maybe get inside and get deeper access. So you as you're looking around, maybe you're starting to put together something about like this sex scandal, right? It happened in one of the bordellos. This is Queen Jewel's territory. So probably like this the if there was something that happened, it probably happened at one of her establishments. Uh-huh. And like this because you don't you feel like, well, Kit Fisto doesn't seem like the type to do this kind of thing, so it may be an extortion scheme of some sort. Like there may be like some hut angle. And out of the corner of your eye, you think you see him. Kit Fisto? Yeah. Oh. Is he smiling? Just just enough to like, there is a a Nautilin flashing like a winning smile. He's not dressed like a Jedi, but like he doesn't seem to see you, but you like see for an instance. Whoa, is that Kid Fisto down here?

SPEAKER_09 54:24

I I kind of is he going anywhere or what is he what is he doing?

SPEAKER_07 54:29

Well, he does kind of like disappear from view. You catch him for a moment. You might be able to follow him though. I I do so.

SPEAKER_11 54:37

Wait, wait. No, I do so. I'm a hunter! I'm a hunter, I can track.

SPEAKER_09 54:42

I mean, I'm pretty good at stealth, but yeah, yeah, you can go ahead and and if you want to do it instead of me.

SPEAKER_11 54:48

If you point out where he went, I can see if I can continue to find him.

SPEAKER_09 54:52

Okay. Oh, he went that way.

SPEAKER_11 54:54

Kala's head just jerks up and she starts like sniffing like a bloodhound.

SPEAKER_07 54:59

Where'd he go? So if he's trying to avoid uh detection, uh this would probably be against his stealth if he's trying to uh do that. So this would be also like he did kind of disappear. You don't know if if, you know, where he kind of ducked to, but you did kind of get a pointer. So this is gonna be a four purple and a black perception, or potentially survival? Probably perception though.

SPEAKER_11 55:25

Yeah, my perception's better, and I can remove that black. And what do we have for Destiny? Uh you have four. Oh, I'm gonna flip one to get another yellow. For fun. May as well. One success, two advantage, and also because I have expert tracker, it decreases the time to track them by half. Let's catch this fucker.

SPEAKER_09 55:48

Do you want to catch this guy? Or don't do you wanna just follow where he goes?

SPEAKER_11 55:52

Or follow where he goes. Let's catch up to him and then tr trail him.

SPEAKER_09 55:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 55:56

So you can you can follow him. He seems to be like kind of watching the edges of the swoop race, and he seems kind of a little bit intent on uh like it seems like he's looking for something. He can't tell what it is, and uh you can follow him, and he does sort of like duck into this little shop, and it seems to be like a pet store, weirdly. Oh uh probably not a pet store. Uh, and you can hear him uh saying like, I want you to show me where the your real black market goods are, and like you can tell they're he's kind of getting frustrated with the person at the counter, and they're having this back and forth argument, and you can see him take something off his belt and slam a lightsaber down on the counter, and he says, You show me where those black market goods are right now, or my name isn't Kit Goddamn Fisto.

SPEAKER_05 56:56

Oh my god!

SPEAKER_08 56:58

Oh my god, what a sexy motherfucker.

SPEAKER_07 57:04

Can we have been recording this? Do you have you because you still have that recording device that you would have gotten from uh Rannick, but uh I don't know if you have anything else that can like record that well.

SPEAKER_09 57:19

Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 57:19

Cause you would have to sort of maintain your distance, because if he's a Jedi, he's probably got some some senses.

SPEAKER_11 57:25

Yeah. Dang, that's fine. Let's watch and see what happens. Is he gonna murder a guy, do you think?

SPEAKER_05 57:31

Is he gonna murder a motherfucker? Is he gonna murder a guy?

SPEAKER_07 57:35

Can we can we tell if it's really him or a Nautilin? Well, he's kinda got his back turned to the door. Okay. Uh so you can't really see his face.

SPEAKER_11 57:47

Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 57:47

But he did he does seem to have a lightsaber.

SPEAKER_11 57:51

Are you are you wondering if it's another Nautilin that's maybe behaving in an ostentatious manner to slander Kit Fisto's good name?

SPEAKER_10 57:58

Well, he did say I'm Kit Fisto.

SPEAKER_11 58:00

That seems like uh Or my name.

SPEAKER_09 58:04

My name is Kit Fisto. Looks straight at the screen cameras.

SPEAKER_01 58:09

Uh punch lines.

SPEAKER_09 58:10

That's his catchphrase.

SPEAKER_01 58:11

That's his uh slogan. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 58:12

My name is Kit Fisto, and this is my favorite black market dealer.

SPEAKER_10 58:16

That is that is how he signs off all of his podcasts, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 58:20

See, Kit Fisto already has a podcast, like a real man.

SPEAKER_10 58:24

The Kit Fisto experience. Isn't that crazy? Padawan, Padawan, look that up, look that up.

SPEAKER_09 58:32

Oh, it's not real? Well, but you can see where it came from, though, right?

SPEAKER_10 58:36

Could be real, right? Yeah. Hold on. Jar Jar is a Sith Lord?

SPEAKER_11 58:39

Like, if we if we continue observing and see like what what this person gives gets for him or what he's after.

SPEAKER_10 58:48

Let us let us track him.

SPEAKER_07 58:50

So it appears that like so the guy, he he sort of uh presses a button on the counter, and his pet food, quote unquote pet food uh storage rack swivels around, revealing like a wall of different guns. Whoa!

SPEAKER_11 59:08

Oh shit, anything good in there?

SPEAKER_07 59:13

And uh you can see like Kit goes over and he's looking over and he's disruptor. That'll do the job, but I want him to hurt.

SPEAKER_11 59:23

What? Oh my god, okay, yeah, we have to fucking like catch him and interrogate him or something after this.

SPEAKER_07 59:29

And then he he picks up uh something and he says, uh, I am disruptor. This'll scramble that mummy fuck. I'll take one of these.

SPEAKER_11 59:39

Thank god Of course.

SPEAKER_07 59:42

And he like takes it off the shelf, and the guy at the counter is like, you know, telling him, hey, you have to pay for that, and he turns around and he says, I said I'll take one of these. And he slots the lightsaber back on his belt and he walks out of the shop. And as he as he walks out, you can hear him muttering under his breath, You done it again, Ovan.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:06

Everybody keeps saying each other's names.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

So if you've only started listening to the podcast this season.

SPEAKER_11 1:00:15

Oh yeah, I guess I would be very confusing. See Ovan Marikal.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:21

Uh and as from your vantage point, you can see as he gets closer, like, he looks a lot like Kit Fisto. Like, maybe they're distantly related cousins, but like, you've heard Kit Fisto speak. Like, it's different enough that it's like this guy is using Kit Fisto's identity to get shit done in the underworld.

SPEAKER_11 1:00:45

Would okay, I don't know how well known Ovon Marikal would be, but like, would we be aware of who he is?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:52

Uh, give me a three purple knowledge underworld.

SPEAKER_11 1:00:55

Oop, one failure, one threat. Three purple underworld? God, I feel like I need a two success, two threat.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:02

I gotta get a rank in underworld. I mean three purp underworld. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:07

I mean if there's four months between each episode, then uh just hang out here for four fuse.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:13

Option or just uh three success and two threat. Oh shit. Uh one success, two threat.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:20

Okay. Uh so you all got threat. He fucking notices us. Kala, you haven't heard of him, but everybody else has. So you have uh heard of a pirate by the name of Ovan Merikal. He is the leader of a pirate group called the Outer Rimmers. Um, in your time with the Service Corps. You've probably heard of them kind of in passing. You don't know that much. You know that they've been around for quite a while, and he's a little notorious. Nothing that you've really had like any personal encounters with him, but you have heard about them and their ship, uh, the Miracle Mile, which has been like their ship is kind of legendarily cobbled together from all these other vessels, and some of your fellow Service Corps members have mentioned like he's probably got some like really rare and unique ships that are like those ships should be in a museum, but he's put them to work in his pirate fleet. So the he he has kind of uh a reputation as a bit of a uh treasure robber and a guy who uh isn't well liked. He's no friend of the Jedi, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:34

Oh, Ovan Marikal, the bastard you are.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:37

And he does, because you all got threat, he can see you gawking at him. And he says, What, have none of you ever seen a Jedi master before? And he kind of opens his throat to reveal his lightsaber and his dick print.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:53

Oh shit, he's got dick cleavage.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

Can I?

SPEAKER_11 1:03:00

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:01

I was also gonna do it, but not show my dick print.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:05

I uh I don't know if we have seen a Jedi master, Mr. Ovan. Huh?

SPEAKER_07 1:03:10

No, I'm Kitfisto, or can't you see the laser sword attached to my bodice?

SPEAKER_09 1:03:15

We can see we can see the laser sword attached to your bodice, but uh are you sure you're Kit Fisto?

SPEAKER_07 1:03:22

I'm as sure that I'm Kit Fisto as you are sure that you're gonna be dead in the next five seconds if you don't stop asking me questions.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:29

I'm pretty sure not gonna be dead in the next five seconds.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:32

Can I aim my gun at him?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:33

Can I try and see whose lightsaber it is?

SPEAKER_11 1:03:35

Yeah, that's a good point. Whose pilfered lightsaber he has. Oh, I wonder if I can just shoot it off his belt.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:42

Before he uh Yeah, you have five seconds before he he does kind of ready his new gun. You have about five seconds before he's gonna blast Chris, so.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:52

Oh shhaha. I'll shoot his gun out of his hand if I got five seconds before he blasts Chris.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:58

So this'll be uh either vigilance or cool. I don't know if you're expecting this, or if you're how much of an altercation you're expecting, so I'll say you can do either vigilance or cool. Uh he's prepared, so this'll be a three purple. It's against his cool.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:13

Three purple. Uh let me see. I mean, I can re-roll a vigilance if I fail.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:21

And you have three destiny points.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:22

Yeah, but I'll flip one, why not? Uh well, I got an automatic two advantage to vigilance, so that's two advantage. Yeah. Should I re-roll that? If I might re-roll that if, you know, the stakes are Chris is gonna get shot with a disruptor.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:39

Or you could get two advantage, so you aren't gonna be able to fire, but. Maybe aim, threaten. Yeah. Let's not do that, Ovan!

SPEAKER_11 1:04:47

Let's not do that!

SPEAKER_07 1:04:48

Uh, looks like we've got ourselves a little Mandalorian standoff. Can I disarm him? He is pointing his gun at you? While he's distracted by saying, like, we gotta standoff. Uh, sure if you wanna are you trying to lunge at him?

SPEAKER_09 1:05:03

Like, how close is the gun? Uh, he's at short range from you. So I could probably just sort of like take it out of his hands. Uh sure.

SPEAKER_11 1:05:11

Give me a grapple him?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:15

Does it have two ranks of adversary? This you'll have to brawl it out of his hands. Uh, okay. This is gonna be you're kinda calling your shot. Uh he's got two points of adversary. So, and you are gonna have to like close the distance before he can shoot you. So this is gonna be a two red and three black brawl.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:32

Two, three, four, one, two, three, black. Uh, how many dusting points do we got?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:36

We got two.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:36

Yeah, flip one. Uh wow, wash. Okay. Yeah, so you can choose not to. I can I'm gonna choose not to.

SPEAKER_11 1:05:48

Are we just like in a Mexican standoff right now?

SPEAKER_09 1:05:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:51

If somebody could do something, that would be wonderful. Like he starts like backing away, like circling around and like backing away from you guys. Come on up. Ovan, we just wanna talk.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:01

Kit? His name is Kit. His name's not Kit. I'm not a git, I'm not indulging that nonsense.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:06

I'm indulging it while he has disruptor to my face.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:09

Okay, but I think come. Would you like us to continue to call ya Kit, Ovan?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:16

Well, someone who looks like you can call me whatever you want as long as you call me.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:20

Excuse me?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:22

Should I try to tell you? I like a girl I could break over my knee. Hate it.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:31

What a thing to say to a lady!

SPEAKER_10 1:06:34

Let me try to try uh taking him down before he gets a fire throat off. I'm very fast.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:40

I'm so fast.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:41

Or would that be a cool or a You're you are kind of in a standoff. Uh nobody's tried anything yet. So your quick strike would come into play.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:50

My quick strike would indeed come into play.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:52

So if you're if you're trying to grapple him to brawl him to disarm him, that would be the same as Chris's. So that would be two red and three purple. Or three black.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:01

Two red and three black?

SPEAKER_07 1:07:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:04

And a brawl check? Yeah. I'm gonna destiny as well. Uh two failures, but one triumph and two threats.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:12

You can't grab him or disarm him, but is there anything else you want to do?

SPEAKER_10 1:07:18

Um knock him down?

SPEAKER_07 1:07:19

Oh yeah. Because you got that failure, you wouldn't be able to do anything to him or his body. But if but you could, like if you wanted to like knock something down on the street to block his exit, you could. That's a good idea. Like a pillar. Yeah, you can throw down some a pile of crates, some sex asses go bouncing out if the lip pops off.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:39

Boinky, boingy, boinky. Sorry, not me, Almond with my hand up with my thumb up. Deus ass machina.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:50

Deus ass machina.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:52

He says, Alright, it seems like uh you four are serious about not letting me go about my business. So, uh, what is it you want?

SPEAKER_11 1:08:01

I mean, I are you the uh you the one who is are you the one in the video of Kifisto and um his lady friend? Is that you who has left a lady high and dry?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:12

Don't spread it around. I've made that mistake before.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:15

It's in the papers, buddy. It's been spread.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:18

Yes, but hopefully my ruse is enough to uh cover any tracks that I may have left behind.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:25

So, uh yeah, no no, why why are you pretending to be Kifisto? What what do you what what's happening here?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:31

What do you mean? It seems to be working. The name of a Jedi master on everybody's lips gets people to do what you want, and all I have to do is show them my little cylinder, and I can take what I please.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:43

Oh yeah, whose little cylinder is that? Which one?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:46

What this one? My belt near my crutch. Your crutch? Yes, my groin. It's hanging there. And it like is hanging like right next to his dick. Can you see the outline of both?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:01

What if you accidentally discharged that?

SPEAKER_09 1:09:03

Are you talking about the gun?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:05

Oh both.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:07

Please don't discharge No, the lightsaber. Please don't discharge it all over my face.

SPEAKER_11 1:09:12

See, I'm just- I just hear crutch and I'm thinking like a kickstand situation, like you put it under until you have to walk. We call him the tripod. Yeah, no, whose uh whose little cylinder is that? It's mine, of course. Oh mine. I I mean, maybe we can ask him what this part is that we need to get from the huts. Hey, you know what this is? It's a picture of a picture. Also, give back the cylinder that belongs to it someone.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:42

No, it belongs to me. It's mine and I'll use it as I see fit.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:46

I Listen listen, buddy, I d I don't say I don't think you want to harm us. You want to help us. You you you want to make sure that uh uh the huts get what uh what they deserve.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:59

How do you know I'm not working for the huts?

SPEAKER_09 1:10:01

Come on, look at you.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:03

What do you think somebody like me would lower myself to serving one of those giant hideous slugs?

SPEAKER_09 1:10:09

That's not like you, exa exactly. You want hi you have high class buyers. That is true. You uh uh you want to uh and listen, you're out uh to get the huts in some way, and I don't care which way, I'm not uh on the huts side. I am actually looking for something from the huts uh to take something from the huts themselves, and um and we're gonna need a little bit of help with that. And if we and if we can help each other, then we will leave you alone completely. What makes you think that I can't handle my business on my own? I mean, maybe you can, but uh if anything, we uh if anything, uh we could be a good d uh we could be a good distraction. Uh we're well what is it that you want, first of all.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:00

Oh no, you were saying how you were offering to be my pawns.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:03

Yeah, we could be we can be an excellent distra uh distraction while you go ahead and uh do what it is that you need to do here.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:11

Cannon fodder, eh?

SPEAKER_09 1:11:13

I mean not cannon fodder, I mean, you know, just you know. We could we d distraction, but you know, the What is it that you want from the huts? Money. Ah, you see? We're not after money. We are after s uh we are after a uh a doohickey. Doohickey. A doohickey. Elaborate and explain. Well, uh sh uh should I show him a picture of our doohickey?

SPEAKER_08 1:11:41

Yeah, show him a picture of our doohickey. It's a picture of my doohickey. That is quite a doohickey. What does it do? Hickey. Hickeys? So do I. I g I give him a fucking high five.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:56

Fuck yeah, brother.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:58

Fuck yeah. You know what they say, it's easy being green, my brother.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:01

Uh what's not to say is that uh uh the doohickeys uh is not in the same place as their money. They're both uh pretty valuable.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:10

Oh, well you see, the thing is I'm gonna get my money in a way that doesn't invite a lot of reprisal. Oh so. Well, see, I know that uh the Huts have uh rigged the race in favor of this mummy fuck by the name of Dengar.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:26

Dengar's that mummy fuck!

SPEAKER_07 1:12:28

Plan to supply his swoop with a prototype accelerator of some kind and uh ensure his victory. My plan was to take this T7 ion disruptor and blast the fuck out of him so he can't race, so that my chosen racer can uh win me all of my money that I need.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:48

All that money.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:50

Is that is that the part that she wants us to get? The prototype accelerator? Cause then, like, yeah, that we both wanna make that mummy fuck lose. Then we would be on the same side, Ovan. Sorry, kit.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:02

Next thing you know, you're gonna be telling me that uh you're gonna help out the team of witches over there, because that's who I put my money on.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:10

Ovan, you son of a bitch, you're not gonna believe this.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:13

Oh son of a bitch. Ovan, I think we're gonna be good friends.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:17

Ovan, you green bastard, you we are trying to help the witches.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:21

Well, yes, they have a uh preternatural disposition towards uh accelerated reflexes.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:27

Don't you know those Dathymiri have a touch of the force about them.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:33

Yeah, yeah. I think we do know that. I think we do.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:36

I think we know that fairly well, yes.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:39

So, like, it sounds like we are we kind of have the same intention. So, you know, like what do you what do you say? You help us steal this thing, this accelerator, so I can't go to that mommy fuck. Give it to the witches, the witches win. Bing bang boom, you get your money. Maybe stop with the Kifisto thing, because like that's just fucking weird, buddy.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:58

That's fucking weird. You don't stop ra stop rahdogging people.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:02

Stop raw dogging people.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:03

Stop raw dogging people.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:05

Like you you Take care of that tadpole. Take care of that tadpole.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:10

I'll do no such thing. That is not how I operate.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:13

Yeah, but what if it grows up and has incredible abs just like you? What if you need another Marakal on the Marakal mile?

SPEAKER_07 1:14:20

Well then it can uh join my crew and prove itself to me. The way I had to prove myself to my father and mother before me. Did did ya? Did they just abandon you? Obama. No, my m mother is a crime lord in her own right, the devious bitch. We have not spoken in some time ever since I stole this little uh family heirloom so I could carry out my ruse.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:48

Oh, so it's a family heirloom. Is that the the the the the saber?

SPEAKER_07 1:14:52

Yes. I uh heard it from a little shriveled thing that uh one of my great great great great great great great grand aunts acquired this during the Sith Wars by beating the shit out of some Sith lord and taking it from him. Uh, yes, of course. And now it belongs to me.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:13

Wow, sounds like quite the lady and uh quite the saber.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:17

Yes, I do uh have a rich history. I bet you didn't expect me to have Jedi in my line, though I do have a noble and regal bearing. Perhaps I am related to this kit fisto in such a manner.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:30

Well, you know, maybe you're crawlin' with midaclorians. I certainly think you're probably crawling with other kinds of bugs, but you know, maybe.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:37

Who knows? What kind of situation does they do they have at the uh hut garage there? What's uh what can we do? What's our in?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:46

In. Ah, you're thinking of schmoozing.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:49

Mmm. Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:51

He always is. That doesn't uh that doesn't exactly work very well for me, because uh We could go in a violent way, is that's a that's a good one. Well, I just think if I show my face there, then uh maybe that uh sweet little thing that I uh pumped for information, as you say, might recognize me and uh might try to extract more credits from me.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:14

Well, okay, um, gross one. But like, okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:18

I can't imagine what the Huts would do if they thought that they had the true kid Fisto in their midst.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:25

Hmm. Was they a cow in fear, do you think?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:29

No, they would probably throw me into one of their dungeons and try to hold me hostage for the Jedi, not knowing that my ruse is so perfect, I am not he. Don't bring me down, Rus. No, I don't think it would suit me well at all to return to that wretched hive of scum and villainy.

SPEAKER_10 1:16:48

Is that the thing?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:49

Yes, any bounty hunter who got my beautiful head would be richly rewarded, and I cannot have that.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:56

Hmm. Hmm.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:03

Hmm. No. Okay, but like, um, you've uh you've been inside this place then when you um made yellow. Waka waka. I can't believe you know not not I not every conversation's about your penis, my friend. Why not? You know, not every conversation has to loop back around to the cock.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:28

Why ZL not?

SPEAKER_11 1:17:33

Chris also raises a compelling point. Why not indeed?

SPEAKER_07 1:17:36

Look, yes, I have been inside Queen Jewel's club, the vajazel, but I shan't return.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:42

No boy. We've been inside her vagazel.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:45

No, but like what I'm saying is you've been inside, you know what the layout is.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:49

Oh, I know the layout and the lay-ins.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:52

Why is everything an innuendo? Not why we finish a fucking thought, not everything has to loop back to your cock immediately. Not just let me finish my thought.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:01

I've finished many a thought in my time.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:07

God damn, that's good! That was a good one, fuck! I gave him a good one. I give him another hand five.

SPEAKER_11 1:18:16

Stop at cashing him! Chris!

SPEAKER_09 1:18:21

I had to. I had to, I'm sorry. I had to.

SPEAKER_11 1:18:24

It's fine. It's fine.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:25

Usually the thoughts finish me first. Ohvine. At least he stucks he sticks around uh to finish the job.

SPEAKER_11 1:18:34

I sure hope you like being choked, Ovine, because it's gonna happen in a second if you don't let me finish talking.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:40

Oh, I've indulged in some light breath play in my time.

SPEAKER_11 1:18:44

You gotta fucking kill this guy. What I was trying to say. If the rest of the rest of us we are not known by Queen Jewel and the Vajazelas, or whatever the fuck. And a great band, a great girl group, the Vajazilas. If we went in, you know, and like maybe we pretend like we're big spenders, draw some attention, and then like you or maybe like you and some of us go in the back, try to scoop up whatever it is, scoop back out while they're distracted. Would you know? I fucking hate that I have to say this, because I know you're gonna make it loop back around to your cock. Would you know where the back entrance is? Would you know where to find the back door? Oh Von! Why did you have to phrase it that way? I don't know how else to phrase it!

SPEAKER_06 1:19:40

Well yes, that is how I made my daring escape the first time.

SPEAKER_11 1:19:44

That's the that's the that's the one you don't make loop. You know what? Okay, so now we're getting somewhere. We're getting somewhere. So, do you think that if maybe two of us or like three of us or however many of us, we went in through the front because we drew a bit of attention, then you and one of us or two of us or however many of us went in the back and got this thing out. Do you think that would work, Ovan?

SPEAKER_07 1:20:07

That could potentially work. Potentially, possibly.

SPEAKER_11 1:20:12

Do you know how how big of a how big of a thing would it have to be to draw their attention? Like, do they just s splash it around money or causing it? Like, what do they respond to there? Tell me about 'em! Tell me about Queen Jewel.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:25

Well, last time I was there, I received the attention of a king because I spent like one.

SPEAKER_11 1:20:32

How much money was that? How much money did you need to to spend like a king?

SPEAKER_07 1:20:37

Well, how many girls do they have, and how many times did I have them? I'm trying to do the mental math. You understand why I need the money.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:51

Because I'm not gonna say it you're helping us. I'm not gonna say uh I'm not I'm not gonna say it's the only way that one will sleep with you if you pay them. I'm not gonna say it.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:00

I probably spent uh five hundred thousand credits. Jesus Christ. I spent the month.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:10

Oh, over a month? Okay, how much did you spend, say, first day?

SPEAKER_07 1:21:14

My first day was quite lavish. Uh probably fifty thousand easy. Jesus Christ. Everything on the menu and several things that weren't.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:25

Okay, what about first hour? We'll say first hour.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:29

The first hour? Well, uh, could do it so many times in an hour. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:38

Maybe you're killing me.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:40

Your least active hour. Let's go for that.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:42

Alright, how how much did you have to spend before they really started giving you the undivided attention? Let's go with that.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:48

Well, I just uh dropped a satchel of coins under the front desk and they uh knew what to do with me.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:55

You know, Ovan, I feel like your life would be so much more affordable if you just like got a dedicated girlfriend. I'm just putting it out there like that.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:02

Or an accountant. On accountant something to do with numbers or something, yes.

SPEAKER_11 1:22:08

Say you find the right girl. Maybe she could do both, Ovan.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:11

Because truth be told, I am a little bit stranded here on Coruscant.

SPEAKER_11 1:22:16

What about your ship? What about your crew? Your Pirate King or whatever the fuck, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:22:20

Well, I uh left on a uh pleasure vacation, and I uh once I started running low on monies, I sold the shuttle to get more monies, and uh Did you just call it monies?

SPEAKER_11 1:22:32

Monies Money And that's why I need to bet on this race.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:38

So, uh the amount of cash that I spent, I could not tell you because I myself have not been lucid enough to keep track. Oh, you but the fuck. All I know is that I am spent in more ways than one.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:53

Oh, I'm no longer am gonna give you a high five. Do you want to give them a low five for the low mood? Could you lie could you lie to them and say is that, hey, I still have a lot of money. Look at this credit card.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:10

Look. Looking? I have 10,000 credits remaining. I was going to bet it on the race, but my satchel of coins and other valuables is probably sitting in a vault somewhere inside. If we can get that back, I do not need to bet at all.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:29

We can bet. We can bet.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:31

Well no, you said you needed money to throw around. I mean I have the money to throw around if we can get back the money I spent there.

SPEAKER_11 1:23:39

Oh, we totally can. We totally can.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:42

But like in our own time, we can like do some betting, maybe.

SPEAKER_11 1:23:45

Yeah. Well after after we're done here.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:48

After we do this.

SPEAKER_11 1:23:50

Because like, if it's money to throw around for the biggest impact, maybe it should just be like one person that we send in the front. So it's like, wow, 10,000 all for this one guy, name a croissant. I'm just putting it out there. And then once, you know, all the attention's got gathered, ooh, 10,000 all for one guy, name a croissant. Then the rest of us, we come in the back door, as Ovan is accustomed to doing. Come in the back door. What do you think? I think this could work.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:21

What do you think?

SPEAKER_11 1:24:22

What do you think? You think it could work? I think it can work. I think it can work too. Unless, Chris, you feel like you want some accompaniment up there. I'm just saying, I feel like if it's 10,000, I feel like having fewer people makes a bigger impact.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:37

Just, you know, make sure that I uh, you know, don't die or anything like that, because that would be bad.

SPEAKER_11 1:24:43

Well, that's the whole thing. You're gonna have to make sure you you're gonna have to make sure you don't die for yourself. But you you're such a smooth talker, Chris.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:48

You could do that, right? I'm very smooth. Well, other than the time that he held a uh gun to my face, but yes.

SPEAKER_11 1:24:54

Oh, he didn't even shoot you. You're so smooth, Chris. Chris, you slick.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:59

I'm so fucking smooth, guys.

SPEAKER_11 1:25:01

He's so fucking smooth. This guy, this motherfucker. This motherfucker's so fucking smooth. So fucking smooth. You okay, Chris? I'm so smooth. Chris, you crying.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:15

Are you okay?

SPEAKER_11 1:25:18

Chris, you are gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:21

I'm so I'm I'm not I'm not nervous at all. I'm so I'm I'm gonna be eh okay.

SPEAKER_11 1:25:28

I do want to take stars in with ya.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:32

I just want to I just make sure that I'm okay by the end of this, okay? I don't want I I I I want to be sure that I'm okay. Okay. I could be I could be bait. I could be bait.

SPEAKER_11 1:25:43

I don't know. What do you guys think? Like, cause I I feel like it would be best impact to have just one guy going in the front and then the rest of us sneak in the back. However, the more of us sneaking in the back could cause more distract or like more noise as well. Yeah. Who's bad at stealth? I'm actually kind of good at stealth.

SPEAKER_10 1:26:02

I'm good at stealth, but I can't be intentionally bad if that's what we're asking for.

SPEAKER_11 1:26:06

Well, no, I'm thinking more like who's gonna be a detriment when it comes to sneaking in through the back door. Me. Oh, do you want to go with Chris? Chris and Elyria looking for a third.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:16

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:17

Hello, do you have something in red or yellow?

SPEAKER_11 1:26:21

We saw you across the bar and really liked your vibe. We're gonna get the full rainbow.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:27

I'm gonna be the highest of rollers, Lizard.

SPEAKER_11 1:26:29

But Elyria, would you like to sneak in or would you like to be um Chrisson's uh a colour?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:36

I can be his charming side piece with my one green charm.

SPEAKER_11 1:26:40

Well, you just be quiet. She's not allowed to speak.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:45

I am here to I am here from a charity to share to show this wonderful woman a good time.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:52

I'm here from the water.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:53

This child has a terminal disease. This child has a terminal disease, and she wanted to gamble with her last life. And gosh, Star Knights, I'm going to uh allow her to gamble with 10,000 credits.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:08

Yeah, she's gambling on how many STDs she can get in one night.

SPEAKER_08 1:27:12

Yeah, none of them can kill her before her disease does.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:15

Oh Jesus Christ. Jesus!

SPEAKER_09 1:27:20

Uh hell. That's where we're going.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:25

Okay. So it sounds like Illyria, you're gonna go with Chris. Starzan and I will go with Ovan in the back door.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:34

Uh uh. Chris and Illyria, since you're gonna be the distraction, uh, you can head in first. And the hut compound that is run by Queen Jewel, the majazel, is quite uh well guarded, it seems. You can see, like, as you kind of get deeper and deeper into the hut's territory, you see more and more. People that are very clearly like criminally aligned with the huts, and less and less people that just happen to live in the underlevels of Corcant. And because you guys do kind of stick out, uh, you are getting a little bit of a stink eye from people as uh you enter. The bordello itself uh doesn't stink though. It it smells quite strongly of sanitizer. Oh boy. Uh it is quite darkly lit. There is like thumping, club music, playing, you can see motions and gyrations of silhouettes in the booths that kind of line the wall of sort of the main foyer. And in the middle, you can see sort of like directing employees. She's sort of like almost like uh like a starship bridge. You can see this large green hut with like a feathered cap and uh like a corset on to lift and separate. And she's got like one of her eyes is replaced with like this jewel-encrusted, like m maybe it's an eye patch, maybe it's like a cybernetic, it's hard to say exactly what it is.

SPEAKER_10 1:29:18

Is is this a big mommy? This is Queen Jewel. Queen Jewel. I heard before she was a queen, she used to live in her car. Oh, like because she's Jewel the Singer? She's Jewel the Singer.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:29

There you go. And as you enter, even though she's not looking at you, you can you can hear her say, couple of newbies at the door, what do you want?

SPEAKER_09 1:29:40

We are here to spend big in your premises' sises. Uh-huh. You never been here before, I gather. Uh, no, but I am here to find the best dri uh dives and drives in uh this side of this galaxy. You got your flame shirt on? Alright, uh what do you want the kids menu? Actually, she she is much older than you think, but make sure you uh make sure you don't talk down to her because she could get very angry.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:12

What do you mean? Never mind.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:14

This a couples thing? You want uh a couples package? Uh what does that entail? Well, uh some of our performers, some of our uh, how do you say, associates are more adept at uh servicing multiple people at the same time.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:32

I don't think um and then I remembered that I have to like be a big spender, and I look I l I look over, like really sad uh sadly over at uh uh Illyria, and I'm just kinda like I already have a big frown on my face, and I just roll my eyes. Please! Uh let's go for the couples package. Alright, uh I'm just like I I don't I don't want to like thrust this on her, but I I I am meant to be spending money here, so it's not weird.

SPEAKER_10 1:31:06

It's not weird. It's definitely not weird. It's not weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:10

What's your name, honey?

SPEAKER_11 1:31:11

Uh oh, are there any are there any falling Jedi that you can impersonate?

SPEAKER_10 1:31:16

Oh my god. We're gonna bet her. Keep it going. Prince Zor.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:23

Uh her name is uh She s I'm sorry, she she doesn't talk much. She's uh getting over trauma. You're gonna bring her to the brothel. Yes. We're trying to we're seeing if uh the healing power of titties uh the healing power of titties would be able to help her out.

SPEAKER_11 1:31:44

Listen, titties help a lot with a lot of things. Let her speak.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:50

Yeah, whatever titties or whatever.

SPEAKER_11 1:31:54

See, she loves it!

SPEAKER_04 1:31:56

Doesn't need to be your real name. I just need to put something down in the books for your bill. Would you like would you like to choose your name honey?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:04

Uh big blue, whatever.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:06

Big blue. Big blue, whatever. Hey, big blue! Hey, whatcha doing? Whatcha talking about? Big blue, whatever. You can be bingo. Alright, how about you? Uh, my name is uh My name is Crissant. My name is Max Scovell.

SPEAKER_10 1:32:24

He looks at he looks around the room to for something to name himself after, and he sees a croissant and he's like Criss. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_11 1:32:32

See some hot sauce. He's the spiciest boy in here.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:38

Alright, Max, uh, you can sign in over there.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:41

And uh one of the uh scantily clad uh workers at the club brings you over a data pad for you to sign your name in and select uh the packages that you are interested in.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:56

Uh what kind of packages are there?

SPEAKER_07 1:32:58

Whatever what are you interested in?

SPEAKER_09 1:33:00

I'm interested in being a uh distraction so that our team can actually get a uh Whatever package is going to require the most employees to fulfill.

SPEAKER_11 1:33:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:14

Well, there is the jackhammer package. Where you take uh an actual jackhammer and it makes a lot of noise.

SPEAKER_11 1:33:23

Can I interest you in the birthday gangbang?

SPEAKER_09 1:33:28

But also something where we just like we j is there is there like a show that they can put on? Dinner in a show! Like, yeah, dinner in a show. Because it feels weird having Elyria uh along here uh with me in this strip club where I can't fully enjoy myself because she's a child.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:49

I thought it was because you were gonna say I was young, and I'm just like, I'm pretty sure I'm like 24.

SPEAKER_11 1:33:54

Listen, we just don't want this to turn into another fuck parade episode.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:00

We want the grandest show you you have. I want Paul Verhoven levels of showgirls.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:08

That's what Yeah, he's got like tons of money or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:12

I think I understand what you have in mind. However, since uh this is quite a uh to do this option, um, it is gonna cost you. A private show of this magnitude's probably gonna run you uh at least 10k. Can you cover that, little boy?

SPEAKER_11 1:34:32

Oh, guess the exact amount that we have.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:35

Uh drop in the bucket. And uh I'm like, uh do I do I give the money to you now, or do I wait for a receipt, or uh now is fine.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:49

You can uh give it to uh a special friend over there.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:54

Uh I will go to the special friend and like pre- your premium show, please.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:59

So uh the special friend is uh a type of alien called a pearedwag.

SPEAKER_11 1:35:06

A pearedwag?

SPEAKER_07 1:35:07

Yeah. What is a peardwag? A pearedwag is an alien. Well, two aliens, it's hard to say. One of them is a hunched over like creature with like a face, and then there's also sprouting out of its back like a little green thing that looks like a xenomorph almost.

SPEAKER_11 1:35:32

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:34

So it looks like like half like kind of like an elk or from Mass Effect, but like smaller, and there's like a thing grown on its back, and one of them like waddles over wearing like uh a leather bondage harness. The green thing grabs the credits out of your hand and reaches behind and stuffs it into the mouth of like the face on its back or front, it's hard to say.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:00

Ah they look like the seasons greetings thing. Is what also known as seasons greetings. Is that supposed to happen?

SPEAKER_07 1:36:08

Yeah, that is the special friend, apparently.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:11

They keep the money for safekeeping. Now, why don't you head into the theater and the uh vajazzle dazzle spectacular burlesque review will start momentarily. And Queen Jewel, like, clears her throat and says into the PA Alright, ladies and gents, it's show time.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:39

What's happening?

SPEAKER_07 1:36:43

He's not having a heart attack, is he? Uh there's like a flurry of activity as like many of the uh contract performers at the Bordello start like rushing out and rushing out of doors and into hallways, and you see like carrying pieces of costumes. Like, this is like it seems like there's gonna be a full show that's gonna happen here. Oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:37:05

Oh hell yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:07

Fuck yeah. You can uh go into the the theater and like it's like a full theater. Like, like not full as in there's lots of people, but there's like lots of seats. You're the only ones in there. Oh nice. So where are you sitting?

SPEAKER_09 1:37:22

Um, like right right in the middle, like right in the middle in the bottom. Uh so like right up front. Yeah. Uh do I have popcorn or uh something to drink?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:34

Try and sit on an aisle.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:37

Sis sits comfortably on a chair and and enjoy and enjoys the show.

SPEAKER_11 1:37:42

Illyria has a dainty bladder. She might have to get up for the washroom.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:47

Okay, okay. And uh I'm I'm just sitting with my popcorn and like a beer or something, and I'm just enjoying I'm enjoying the show.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:55

So uh as you guys are kind of like sneaking around the back of the complex towards the uh back door that Ovon knows the location of, uh, you can see that there are like a couple of really tough looking like weequay guards that are standing outside. And after a moment, like one of them puts like a finger to an ear and he says to the other, uh, hey, it's uh showtime, we gotta get going. And in unison, they rip off their pants to reveal sequin thongs before running inside.

SPEAKER_11 1:38:30

Damn, they're doing the fun shit! They're kinda jealous now.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:35

And I still sit down with my popcorn interested.

SPEAKER_11 1:38:39

Ugh, son of a bitch. I I have a question before we go too far. Cause I I had meant to ask before we came here. Um, because we were we were outside that uh the shop with the illegal weapons that Ovon had gone into. Would it have been possible for me to go in there um and buy a slug suppressor for my rifle?

SPEAKER_07 1:39:03

Silence your rifle? Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:39:06

Yeah, so it's rarity four, but it is restricted.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:09

It is restricted. Uh, so that is gonna double the price.

SPEAKER_11 1:39:12

Okay, it's only like a hundred. So it'll be two hundred? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:17

I just have to say, this is we did not get a um uh an assignment from the SBI. This is just what we're doing with our own time, I guess.

SPEAKER_11 1:39:27

We're just having fun now. Listen, we're trying to figure out where our master, our old master Hall and Yigena got sent to. That's how this all started. And now here you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:40

We didn't have to do that.

SPEAKER_11 1:39:42

Well, do you want to go home, malyria? Just walk out. I'm not there, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_10 1:39:48

Call timeout.

SPEAKER_11 1:39:49

Yeah, no, I I just wanted to have that before we went into this place. Anyways, so the door is unguarded. The door is unguarded, but it is locked. Uh, what would it be to pop that lock?

SPEAKER_07 1:40:00

Uh, it would be a skullduggery if you want to do it quietly. Surr. So I don't know what kind of lock breaking. Like this is hut stuff. So I don't know what kind of lock breaking equipment you have. So it would be a three purple and a black. Three purple and a black.

SPEAKER_11 1:40:17

Uh. Hey Starzin, what's your cunning? I'm guessing it's not better than mine. No, my cunning is uh here. I just got three green to skull doggory. I mean, three green. Uh yeah, I also have three green. Eh, it's fine, I'll try it. If I fail, then you can try. Uh-oh, two fail, you're in a threat. Uh-oh. Okay. Did I d do I accidentally jam the keyhole? Nothing can get picket now.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:47

So as as the show is like going on inside, it's like, at first it seems like it's part of the music. Like maybe as as they're doing their their gyrating and thrusting dances, but you start to hear ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Uh, and outside, you realize, uh, Cala, you've tripped the alarm.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:09

Ah shit.

unknown 1:41:10

Oh no.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:11

Uh oh, I'm not there. You're at the tavern getting drunk. I'm at the tavern getting drunk. I'll try.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:18

Can I try Can I notice and try and like it?

SPEAKER_07 1:41:22

Cala slop away, you can notice that the That sounds an awful lot like an alarm.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:27

Gotta pass or something I can smash to stop it.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:30

Um, you can try. Okay, what what would that role be? Uh so to smash the door panel uh would be a three purple brawl or athletics. Unless you want to use your sword.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:43

It's the same role if I use the sword or the Well the the sword the sword would be easier because you've actually got like an implement. So the sword would be a two purple.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:52

Smash the sword.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:54

Stop making noise.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:56

Three success, one threat. Yeah. So uh stars and you can kill the bird that's inside there. Um you can drive your sword into the uh door panel, and uh the sound it seems to stop, and the door like seemingly has a fail-safe, like it opens. Maybe, maybe is a stab the right thing. Uh but it does seem like the red lights are still flashing.

SPEAKER_11 1:42:21

Hmm.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:23

That's my effort. What else can we do to stop it flashing?

SPEAKER_11 1:42:25

If Elyria is on her way here, maybe when she gets here she could actually shut it down because she's smart.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:31

Yeah, Elyria, you can see a couple of ishytib hut thugs that are both of them are in like two halves of a sexy Bantha costume. Where it's like one of them is wearing nothing on top, one of them is wearing nothing on the bottom, but the other half is like a Bantha costume, and they're like two halves of it, and there's gonna be some kind of reveal. And they notice the flashing lights of the alarm, and they pull blasters out of somewhere and uh start heading off towards the back door.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:05

I will follow.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:06

So you can uh follow them. They are gonna reach the back door where the alarm is. I'm still watching the show.

SPEAKER_11 1:43:13

As you should be. Can I be ready to shoot?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:16

You can be uh Oh, should I let you know? I'll let you know with my little telephone. Guards are coming to the back. I will be ready. I'm here to provide them.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:26

They can be ready, so uh you won't have to you won't be surprised by this. So if you want to get ready and shoot, uh there are two of them, so you'll have to shoot pretty quickly. We'll say this is calling your shot. When they turn the corner, there is enough haul that they are within medium range. So I'll give you a desk point, and we'll call that a red of purple and two black.

SPEAKER_11 1:43:49

A red of purple, two black. I'll take a strain to aim twice. And da da da da da. Interesting. One advantage and one triumph. No success. So you can't hit them. What do you hit instead? Um, oh, maybe if there's like a uh like a fire suppressant suppressant like right above their head to like spray down on them, so they're like, ah, they can't really like aim to get a shot at us.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:15

You can blast the fire suppression system and this cloud of steam and fog comes spitting out. Uh so if somebody were, say, sneaking up behind them, they might be able to do something.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:26

I will. God, I don't want to kill these people, so I won't use the cool lightsaber.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:33

I definitely don't have.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:44:37

You could put the non-lethal setting on, right? Just clob 'em.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:42

On a lightsaber.

SPEAKER_11 1:44:44

Your flip-out.

unknown 1:44:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:45

Yeah, I've got my what? My flip-out.

SPEAKER_11 1:44:49

Telescopes.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:53

I can stun these guys and disorient them with my So uh they're getting blasted by fire suppression, so they won't be able to see you.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:01

So that'll give you uh a blue. Uh, but you're still trying to hit both of them. So we'll say that is two purple and two black. That'll be melee. Unless the uh does the training stick use lightsaber skill?

SPEAKER_01 1:45:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:12

And that'll be your uh lightsaber. And you can add uh blue for the fire suppression.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:18

Okay. Uh roll another blue. One success, two advantages.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:23

She can sneak up and knock uh these thugs out before they can realize what's going on, and you hear them fall to the ground in their Bantha costume, which can fit two people inside.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:36

Ooh. Who wants to be in the back? I feel like terrible things could happen with this in this.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:43

I mean, they already know that I'm in here, so you guys can dress up.

SPEAKER_11 1:45:47

Okay. Listen, I'm just saying that Ovan's the one who specifically should not be seen in here. Yeah, that's a good point. And I'm real good at not being noticed. So you want me and him? Yeah, you two film the Bantha.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:00

Okay, let's go. So you guys can uh relieve these ishy Tib from their Bantha costume. Slip it on yourselves. Who's the front and who's the back? Do we roll for that?

SPEAKER_11 1:46:10

Make Ovan be the back. Just get him with your protein powder farts.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:15

Are you gonna be wearing the costume or are you gonna be taking it in halves?

SPEAKER_10 1:46:19

I'll probably wear the costume. That way I won't lose track of him.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:22

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:23

So I'll be behind him so that I can keep an eye on him.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:26

Okay, so he'll he'll be the front. Uh you can stare his- stare at his ass. Oh yeah. And uh, Kala, what are you gonna do then?

SPEAKER_11 1:46:33

I'll uh I'll walk beside them, but it's like if we have to walk near any cameras, I'll just kind of hunch down behind it. I'll use it as cover.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:41

So you can like use the Bantha as cover as you make your way through the halls. Uh Illyria, are you staying with them or are you returning to your seat?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:50

Is the alarm still going off? Can I try and shut it off?

SPEAKER_07 1:46:52

The alarm is still going.

SPEAKER_11 1:46:54

See if you can shut down the the because it's just the the lights that are going now, right? Yeah. Yeah, because if you could shut off the lights, then go back to the the theater. The theater. The theater.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:05

For the theater show. They're an all-clear thing to pull or something.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:10

Uh there is what looks to be a security terminal nearby, uh, but it is kind of like in view of some other performers that are getting ready. That are kind of waiting for their cue to uh rush to the stage area.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:27

I'll act like I belong there.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:29

Okay, so you can try and act like you belong there, uh bypassing this uh scantily clad kick line of Nikto dancers. So give me a give me a give me a cool roll to see if you uh make sense next to these uh leathery lads and ladies.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:51

I got two ranks.

SPEAKER_11 1:47:52

Ally is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:54

Well, I wasn't cool to begin with. I uh boosted that. My presence is normally one green, so I boosted it twice to get a yellow and a green.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:02

Give you a destiny point, you're not dressed the right way, you're not the right species. Uh so we'll call that a two purple, two black. Cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:12

Two black. One threat. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:15

Like you're making your way towards a security terminal, and you feel this like big hand on your shoulder, and you can look over and see these like reptilian claws, and you look up and there's a trandosion that says, You paid for the show. Get back to your seat, honey.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:34

Sorry, I was just really enjoying the costumes and wanted to see them uh up close.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:39

Oh, you want an up close show? That's extra.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:42

I will have to talk with my partner about uh a tour afterwards.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:48

Good communication is important in a relationship.

SPEAKER_11 1:48:54

Oh non-toxic trend ocean relationship advice. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:59

I will go back to my seat.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:01

Alright. Now I gotta check on this alarm. And he uh like pumps his like laser shotgun.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:09

Jesus.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:11

And he and he runs off in his like sequined Elvis suit. Breakaway, of course.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:18

Of course. This man is a hero.

SPEAKER_11 1:49:20

We would ask for nothing else.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:22

Uh, as I'm going back to my seat, I will call you guys and be like, uh, watch out for a trandocian with a shotgun. Uh what?

SPEAKER_07 1:49:29

Uh you can kind of look behind you and see a trandosan in like a white suit with like fringes and like open chests. Oh my lord. Kind of rushing towards you uh where the alarm is with a a big carbine. Are you gonna hide from him?

SPEAKER_11 1:49:49

And I will. I'll try to I'll try to hide. I don't know if Starzan and Ovan really need to since they're in their own.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:55

They're in the Bantha. Uh so you can take some cover that'll add a Uh black, what is your stealth? Uh yellow three green. Uh doesn't see you. Thank goodness. Failure with advantage. Uh so doesn't notice you, but uh he does notice the Bantha. And he says, Hey, Grendel and Grundel, isn't your cue almost up? Come on, get to the stage. Grendel and Grundel. It's fine, I'll go for the save. So uh Ovan and Starzan, are you gonna head head onto the stage?

SPEAKER_01 1:50:34

Yeah, dog roll performance. Wait, there is no performance.

SPEAKER_10 1:50:38

Who what is my charm? Too green.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:40

Yeah, so you guys can make your way towards.

SPEAKER_11 1:50:43

Ovon's in the front, what's his charm? Maybe you two can do a combined role.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:49

I mean, I don't I I feel like for Ovan, his charm is gonna be one of those things where it's like it's like in the in the early rules where it's like if you run into Darth Vader, you're dead. It's like if you run into Ovan, you're fucked. You're charmed. To pull this off and feel yourself being like ushered in this Bantha costume. You can't really see. Ovan can kind of see out the mouth, and he's like, uh, so uh, do you know how to do any sensual dances?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:20

Starzan knows the mating ritual of his people. Oh my!

SPEAKER_07 1:51:24

Excellent, that'll have to work. Alright, let's do this. So, give me, you can get out there in this Bantha costume. Give me a leadership to lead Starzan in the mating dance of Eggarice.

SPEAKER_11 1:51:36

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 1:51:37

Wait, who's rolling the leadership? Starzan. Oh, okay. What leadership against what? It'll be it'll start off as two purple. This is a dance that you probably know, but you're trapped in uh a Bantha costume, so you're not gonna be able to like have the full range of motion, and you're also having to lead uh Ovan. So that is gonna be two purple and two black leadership.

SPEAKER_10 1:51:59

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_07 1:51:59

You have two destiny points.

SPEAKER_10 1:52:01

Yeah, I'll flip a destiny.

unknown 1:52:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:03

Two failures, one threat. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. It's not it's okay. I'm the only audience. Only I'm gonna be judging you. Come on, everybody, just give me a little clap.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:14

The dance is not sexy at all. And like, you're both trying, but it's it's really not working.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:22

Can I give them can I give them some kind of encouragement?

SPEAKER_01 1:52:26

I was gonna say, I was gonna say, let's be like, woo, I love this. The band especially.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:31

So you you guys have to pretend that this is doing it for you, Valerie and Chris. Uh so so what uh what did you get on that role?

SPEAKER_10 1:52:39

Was uh two failures, one threat.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:41

Okay, so that's gonna be two purple and upgrade it. So that'll be a red and a purple uh deception.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:48

Red and a purple deception. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:51

You guys can't since you're doing it together. You can either combine your rolls if one of you has a higher cunning and one of you has any deception, or one of you can roll and the other can add a blue. Um what's your what's your cunning at?

SPEAKER_09 1:53:05

Two. Mine's only at two as well.

SPEAKER_11 1:53:07

Um Do either of you have ranks and deception?

SPEAKER_09 1:53:11

No. I can remove a black. Fuck. Doesn't help. Um, okay. Uh how many destiny points do we have? Oh, uh, I'm gonna flip it. Uh two failure, but three advantage.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:24

Okay. It's it's clear that this isn't turning you on. But But we're being really nice. Yeah, like the fact that you can recognize that it's bad and you can clap. Trandocian is like taking a seat behind you almost just to kind of see, and also to make sure that you stay in your seat. And he says, Yeah, this is gonna be this is gonna be a real big boost to their self-esteem. Thanks for thanks for showing your support. They've been having uh a bit of a tough go of it recently. Not a lot of people are into uh green lizard bird things that uh look look like an asparagus.

SPEAKER_09 1:54:03

Listen, I I know too well of people who can't who who hide themselves because they're afraid of failure, but these people have the ability to uh succeed, and I just want to give them the boost that they so richly need.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:22

You're a you're a good customer. Hope to see you in here again.

SPEAKER_09 1:54:26

Uh me, I bel I believe this is one of the classiest dives I've ever been to.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:32

And and you can kind of like feel like the cold metal of the blaster like on the back of the seat. And he says, why don't you say that again, but don't call it a dive.

SPEAKER_09 1:54:43

This is This is one of the uh finest uh gentlemen's establishments I've ever been to.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:50

Hey, gentle beings, we take all comers.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:57

So that leaves Cala making your way to Well, where are you going? Because on the one hand, there's the uh garage where you can get the doohickey, and on the other hand, there's the vaults, where all of Ovan's money and probably a lot of other people's money are.

SPEAKER_11 1:55:19

Ugh God, I kinda wanna go to the vaults. We have we have a job to do. I know, but if we go the I go the vaults first, right, while there's most distraction, and then just like haul ass out through the garage, grab the thing, and like bam, we're out. We're gone.

SPEAKER_09 1:55:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 1:55:38

Listen, I'm trying let me let me try to figure this out. I'm by myself now.

SPEAKER_09 1:55:46

I'm not there. All you're hearing is your conscience.

SPEAKER_11 1:55:50

I'm hearing Chrissant, and my brain just like, we have a job to do, and Cal's just like, shut the fuck up, Chris! Don't tell me what to do! Can I find the vault?

SPEAKER_07 1:56:01

You can uh find the vault if you want to go there. Uh you can also see like down the hall, it opens out into a wide area where there is the garage. Ugh.

SPEAKER_11 1:56:14

How far okay? If I went to the vault first, would I be able to like kind of make a straight shot, like, from where I am to vault to garage, then out of dodge?

SPEAKER_07 1:56:26

Based on how good you are at uh bypassing like hut security, it's probably gonna be more of a smash and grab if you go to the vaults.

SPEAKER_11 1:56:39

But if I smashed and grabbed at the vaults, would I be able to run down to the garage and smash and grab there too? Uh uh you could try. I could try, couldn't I?

SPEAKER_05 1:56:50

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:56:53

I'm gonna try. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:55

It's probably a bad idea. So, uh, you wanna go to the hut vault? So that is gonna be gonna give you a destiny point. Okay. So this is the Queen Jewels vault. So this'll be a red, three purple, and I don't think you have any like slicing equipment or anything like that, so that'll add two blacks. So a red, three purple, and two blacks. That'll be skullduggery. Ooh, skullduggery.

SPEAKER_11 1:57:21

Ooh, skullduggery, okay. Ooh. Oh boy. Ooh. God damn it. I didn't wanna do this.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:31

Well, not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_11 1:57:33

I'm taking a rank at Skullduggery. I was trying to save my XP. It's fine. It's fine. And we have like one destiny then? Yeah. I'm gonna flip it to get another yellow.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:44

As you should.

SPEAKER_11 1:57:44

Yeah. Oh uh, two failure for advantage. I don't set off an alarm!

SPEAKER_07 1:57:49

Yeah, you don't set off an alarm, but it's clear that this is uh too complicated for you to deal with with uh your level of knowledge and equipment. Ovan is an experienced pirate with a universal cutting tool, could probably get in there, but uh it seems that you are not gonna be so lucky.

SPEAKER_11 1:58:08

Okay, this is Queen Jewel's vault. Am I like in her office?

SPEAKER_07 1:58:13

Uh no, this is just uh in one of the halls of the hut complex. I see. However, uh, maybe if you want those advantages to be that it's across from Jewel's office.

SPEAKER_11 1:58:26

Yeah, because it's like maybe I can't get into the vault, but maybe there's something in her office that's worth a lot of money that I can grab to help make up for that and then go to the garage.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:36

Okay. So, uh, you go into Jewel's office. And you can see it is quite lavishly decorated. She is not in there, she's still up at the front directing, uh probably directing the show at this point.

SPEAKER_11 1:58:50

Thank god. Okay, is there anything valuable out here, out and about that I can spot?

SPEAKER_07 1:58:55

Probably. Like, what are you looking for? Would this be knowledge underworld? You're looking for stuff that you can fence.

SPEAKER_11 1:59:02

I mean, would it be too much to ask for just a big bag of credits on a desk?

SPEAKER_07 1:59:06

Knowledge lore, maybe if there's some artifacts that she's got. Probably uh probably knowledge underworld to know kind of what's gonna be valuable.

SPEAKER_11 1:59:16

God damn.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:17

Okay, what what for what for underworld? You do kind of have a a bit of an understanding about like artifacts and stuff. Um so pr you can add a blue onto a three purple Knowledge Underworld.

SPEAKER_11 1:59:29

Uh okay, well I can't I can't get despair at least. One success, one threat.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:35

So you can uh identify some small baubles and jewels. Like she does seem to be the type who likes to accessorize, so there are some valuable jewels and things. But the ones that you can like pocket probably could get you around like 500 credits, so not a huge amount. But you know what? Because you got that threat, as you're looking around, you also notice like on her desk there's like a computer with a lot of information uh flowing through it, and you can see that there's a lot of readouts, and you can see that the readouts indicate that like Queen Jewel's like eye patch is like a cortical feed to every security system in the complex. Oh and you can see that like she's ordering like some of her thugs to be ready to capture Kit Fisto when his routine is over. Oh no!

SPEAKER_11 2:00:48

Once I realize that, can I get on my communicator just like we'll cook, we're cooked, they know about Ovan. You gotta get him out of there. You gotta go. Gotta could I just haul ass to the garage, like just pocket what I can. Get the fucking 500 credits worth of baubles.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:05

Yeah, you can you can pocket whatever you can, uh, rushing out of her office. The door slams in front of you. Uh-oh. Unless you can beat an athletics check.

SPEAKER_11 2:01:18

Oh god. What kind of athletics?

SPEAKER_07 2:01:22

So, uh, this should be a three purple athletics.

SPEAKER_11 2:01:26

Ooh! Three purple! There I go two green! Four threat! No!

SPEAKER_07 2:01:32

No, you're you're stuck in the office.

SPEAKER_11 2:01:34

Guys, we're cooked! We're cooked!

SPEAKER_07 2:01:36

Of course, things can't go well.

SPEAKER_11 2:01:38

Are there any vents or anything I could shoot to make the door open?

SPEAKER_07 2:01:41

So you already scoped it out for valuables, but you didn't necessarily scope it out for uh places to escape. So give me a Now you know that she is basically jacked into all the security systems. Uh, so I'm gonna give you a destiny point, and that'll be a red, two purple, and a black perception.

SPEAKER_11 2:02:00

Oof, I can remove that black at least. I mean, that's evenly matched. That's evenly matched! What advantage! Why are we rolling so bad? So, and you're looking for I'm looking for the means to escape this room, whether that's climbing through a vent or like shooting a sensor that would open the door or something.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:23

So you can't see the means to escape, but you got that advantage. This is her office. There is a computer terminal, it's feeding information to her cortical patch. Maybe that connection goes both ways.

SPEAKER_11 2:02:36

Ooh, maybe I can like do something to make her have a fucking aneurysm or something.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:41

Maybe you can fuck her up.

SPEAKER_11 2:02:42

Yeah, let me see if I can give her a stroke. I don't have great computers, but you know, like let's see what we can do. What would it be to try to fuck her up?

SPEAKER_07 2:02:50

So this would be a four purple computers. Uh I don't think you have any tools, so you can add a black onto that since you're just trying to like brute force hack it.

SPEAKER_11 2:03:00

It's great. Do we have any destiny?

SPEAKER_07 2:03:03

We have one.

SPEAKER_11 2:03:03

I'm gonna flip it. I only got two green. Four failures, two threat.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:09

Jesus Christ! No, and this this like as you're typing in this like ASCII style like animation of like a hut face pops up on the screen, and you can hear through like the speakers. You didn't think it would be that easy, did ya?

SPEAKER_11 2:03:26

Ew!

SPEAKER_07 2:03:27

So in the theater, you you uh were alerted to this by by Kala. Yeah, I I I yelled that we were cooked. That Trangoshin with the carbine is still like sitting behind you guys. I don't know what you can see inside the Bantha costume, but Ovan, like, looking out the mouth, he can kind of see like that some of these thugs slash prostitutes, I guess, are uh readying their weapons or like waiting in the wings for as soon as you're done your routine.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:01

Hmm, you better keep it going for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:06

Someone stop dance to the thing where you just like dance offstage.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:10

What is it, save by the bell? Maybe what if huh. I I know I know I know I know exactly what to do, okay? Okay. How big is the mouth on this costume?

SPEAKER_07 2:04:24

Uh it's b big enough for a human-sized individual to slip out of it.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:32

Okay. Well uh slip out of it.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:34

Yeah, it may be that this routine originally involved some light vor play. Yes.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:40

Here's uh here is here's what I'm thinking. Okay? We're going to find somebody else in the crowd that like of people celebrating on the stage. I'm going to pull one in through the mouth, beat them up, do the same thing a second time, and then just fill it up with bodies. Fill it up with bodies.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:01

So that we can escape. I think me and uh uh Lyria are the only people here.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:09

Yeah, you're the only ones in the audience, but there are there is that Trandosan who's uh kind of watching the show behind you guys. Could we do a switcheroof? To to beckon the trandocian up to be a part of the show? Yeah. Because the trandocian doesn't seem to have gotten the hint. Like the trandocian doesn't seem to have been communicated with that this is uh actually quote unquote Kit Fisto in the Bantha costume.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:32

Uh, you know what I really love, Vor. I love seeing big lizards get eaten.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:38

Doing it now.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:41

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:42

So, uh, Sargon, why don't you uh wiggle that booty and beckon the trando up on stage? Uh this will be against his discipline, so this will be a two-purple charm. Who does that roll? Do I do it? Uh you would do it. Okay, two purple charm.

SPEAKER_10 2:05:58

Yeah. Hey there. Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? You ever see a man chastity battles? Does does uh do I somehow get any kind of benefits from sexy Ovan?

SPEAKER_07 2:06:12

Um I don't think so, because you're it this is you wiggling the booty. Oh, that's right. Two threats. Uh-oh. Jesus Christ. And the Trandoshin says, huh. You know, I've seen this routine dozens of times before, and it's never been this bad.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:28

I'm uh I'm just gonna go uh How many people are in the room other than me and uh Lyria?

SPEAKER_07 2:06:34

Uh well there's the performers on the stage, there's the uh Trandocian that's sitting behind you, and you can kind of see that there are thugs gathering on either side in the wings of the stage.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:44

At what point do we just draw uh draw weapons?

SPEAKER_01 2:06:48

There's a lot of people to fight.

SPEAKER_07 2:06:51

Shit. Or, I mean, there is always the option of double crossing Ovan.

SPEAKER_01 2:06:57

Hmm. He'll be fine, canonically.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:02

Yeah, what if we ever followed Canon though? They think he's Kit Fisto. They think he's Kit Fisto.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:08

Oh, they think so.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:08

Yeah, they think he's Kit Fisto.

SPEAKER_11 2:07:10

Because once they find out that it's like, no, Kit Fisto is out and about, maybe uh they'll let him go and be like, oh, this isn't Kit Fisto.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:17

They'll probably beat the shit out of him, but as long as they think he is Kit Fisto, they probably wouldn't risk killing a Jedi Council member on Coruscant. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:26

Look, don't kill him, just break his legs.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:29

Uh let's do it, by the way. Let's let's turn on Ovan. Oh, he's already turned on. Oh.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:34

He's always turned on.

SPEAKER_10 2:07:36

And behind him in the costume. Of course he's turned on.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:39

So uh this would be so who's gonna who's going to uh reveal this?

SPEAKER_11 2:07:45

Starzan, you just gotta shove Ovan over and just like there he is, and then you've run away.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:50

Because whoever whoever is doing this would also have to convince the Huts that this was like the plan the whole time. That you brought Kit Fisto in on a silver platter.

SPEAKER_10 2:08:00

It was always the plan. Our cunning you've fallen for our cunning ruse.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:05

You've c you've fallen for our uh worst case scenario ruse.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:10

This is what we do in our days off.

SPEAKER_10 2:08:12

Push him out of the costume. Just push him? Yeah. You push him. Would that be a brawl check? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:08:20

Two red brawl. I knew there was a reason to go behind him.

SPEAKER_10 2:08:23

Three success, three advantage.

SPEAKER_07 2:08:25

Yeah, you can shove him out in a way that makes it clear that like you're s you're turning on him. And he falls out of the Bantha costume. And the Trandoshin sitting behind Chris and Elyria says, What the fuck? That's Gifesto!

SPEAKER_01 2:08:38

Give it a few A gift from us.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:42

Uh, this show was so good. Uh, we decided to give you the most uh uh the hut's most wanted. You you brought that to us? What's a good businessman for?

SPEAKER_04 2:08:53

And you can hear Queen Jewel slithering in, and she says, I don't know that you are good businessmen. Well, what do you what do you mean? Oh, come on, honey, I could smell a ruse a mile away. I got one of your little friends locked up in my office, too. Why don't you uh tell me what you're really here for, and maybe I'll let you out with your lives.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:21

Pull out your phone and be like, we're looking for this little thing. This thing. We'll exchange uh it for Kit Fisto.

SPEAKER_09 2:09:30

Tell you what. Uh we finish off give giving you Kit Fisto, you give us our friend Sh I'm I'm wondering whether or not I should like bring up the uh the thing here, or just see if we could just get our friend.

SPEAKER_11 2:09:43

Bring it up!

SPEAKER_09 2:09:44

Uh Why not? Listen, we we give you your most what your most wanted here, your uh biggest crim your biggest criminal, and uh uh you give us our friend, and um I I pull out my phone and then I drop it for a second and I pick it back up again.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:03

Whatever this is, I just uh So you're after the prototype accelerator that we were gonna use to uh supply Dengar in the race. Yes, yes. Which one of those other little teams put you up to that kind of heist?

SPEAKER_09 2:10:20

G yeah give us what we want and we'll let you and uh we'll let you bet on the winner.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:26

Uh I think Dengar's gonna be winning.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:30

Oh, Monomie, of course of course you belie uh believe that, but uh uh but you see, as far Fuck, I don't know what to do here, you guys.

SPEAKER_11 2:10:41

I don't suppose there's any windows in this office that I could shoot out, are there?

SPEAKER_09 2:10:45

No. Can you blast open the door or something?

SPEAKER_01 2:10:48

I'm gonna try shooting the real lightsaber. Oh yeah. I'm gonna pull out my real lightsaber and point it at her chin and be like, I I don't think Dengar's winning. Oh I don't think Dengar's winning. I think our witches are winning. Hand over the peas, hand over our friends, and you keep your luscious bosom.

SPEAKER_09 2:11:08

Keep your fisto.

SPEAKER_11 2:11:09

You're cut us tur cut our tits off. Cut your tits off.

SPEAKER_07 2:11:14

Jesus Christ. Okay, so this will be uh coercion.

SPEAKER_11 2:11:20

I that's will. You have will, right? No. What? Aren't you like the biggest Jedi weeb of all of us? Why don't you have Will?

SPEAKER_01 2:11:28

I'm the I'm smart.

SPEAKER_07 2:11:30

So, uh, you do have you did pull this lightsaber out of nowhere. I don't think uh Queen Jewel was expecting.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:36

Oh, three. Sorry, I was looking at coordination.

SPEAKER_07 2:11:38

Yeah, I don't think she was expecting you to be uh a d like an actual Jedi or anything to have a a lightsaber. And uh so that's gonna give you uh I'll let you choose either two blue or you can upgrade, so maybe you can get a triumph. But that is gonna be a coercion against five purple. Ooh, and we've just got nobody's fool here. So we'll upgrade that to three red and two purple. That seems excessive.

SPEAKER_01 2:12:10

Yeah, I'm probably not gonna do well for this. Um we don't have any. I'll d upgrade, I guess. Um well here we go. Three failure.

SPEAKER_11 2:12:24

Fuck can I shoot my way out of this office? I don't think this is gonna end well for me.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:28

With with uh a rifle that shoots bullets?

SPEAKER_11 2:12:31

Yeah! I don't think that's gonna work. Can I shoot the lock on the door?

SPEAKER_07 2:12:37

I mean, uh that'll lock you in further, probably.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:39

Uh and Jewel, she looms over you and she says, You really think a little thing like you's gonna scare me? And she kinda like opens her arms wide and she says, Go ahead. Cut my tits off.

SPEAKER_10 2:12:56

Are you gonna do it?

SPEAKER_09 2:12:57

At this point, we probably should. Can I can I uh uh pull out my gun as well and just sort of like get ready with whatever?

SPEAKER_07 2:13:06

Yeah, you can get ready every since it seems like uh once Elyria if Elyria does cut her tits off, are you gonna are you gonna uh attack a hut crime lord in the middle of her own bordello in the middle of her territory?

SPEAKER_01 2:13:19

Um with a m with all of her staff doing a show.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:25

Let's calm down. Uh let's all calm down. Let's listen, we okay, we we we don't need to be in this situation here.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:33

We're right, we don't, so give me fisto, and uh you get to leave. And this is me being generous. I could make you crawl out.

SPEAKER_01 2:13:44

I'm and her friend, and her friend.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:49

And uh we we wouldn't mind having uh listen, let us have a friend and uh we'll give it we'll give you fist turns and we will uh go and then we will go away.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:01

Your friend, uh the thing in the office, yeah. You can uh the four years can go. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:14:09

We Okay, let's um back away with the lightsaber still on.

SPEAKER_09 2:14:15

Uh I I wouldn't mind have got get uh gotten that uh fucking thing, though.

SPEAKER_01 2:14:21

Let's just sabotage that bitch a different way.

SPEAKER_07 2:14:23

Yeah, we just killed Dengar. So as the door slides open, um, Kala, you see Dengar standing there wielding uh a big blaster rifle, and he says, Okay, I shoot him in the head real fast! Hello, sweetie. I was told to escort you out.

SPEAKER_11 2:14:40

Oh gosh, I just try to fucking murder Dangar!

SPEAKER_01 2:14:43

Wait until we've like actually gotten out.

SPEAKER_11 2:14:46

Wait until we've gotten out and he's going back inside, then like, hey, by the way, bam! And then we just run away. I don't think Dangar will be run winning the race.

SPEAKER_10 2:14:55

What was it saying earlier? Like, it's one of those rules in the books that if you run into Dangar, just run. He's too powerful.

SPEAKER_07 2:15:03

It turns out no character is stated, they're all too powerful.

SPEAKER_11 2:15:07

I bet Dangar's stated.

SPEAKER_07 2:15:09

Yeah, Dangar is absolutely statted.

SPEAKER_01 2:15:11

Hey man, I got some oil for you.

SPEAKER_07 2:15:16

Uh okay, I'll let him I'll let him lead me out. He can uh lead you out, and you can see uh your other friends minus Ovon also being let out by every uh criminal, prostitute, gangster thug in the building. It's like that scene where they open the uh open the curtain and jab is there, except all the Gamorians are nude.

SPEAKER_11 2:15:41

Ooh.

SPEAKER_07 2:15:43

It was a very good show.

SPEAKER_11 2:15:44

It looks like it. Alright, bye-bye now, honeys. Okay, what if instead of trying to kill Dangar, what if I just shot him in the knee and we ran away? Can we do you know where the part is that we're going for?

SPEAKER_08 2:15:58

I mean, it was in the garage. I don't know if we're getting back there though. You've been led to the front door.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:03

Let's just put sugar in his gas tank. I don't think that actually works. I think that's an episode. Itching powder.

SPEAKER_10 2:16:08

See all those in the gas tank? In his bandages. Oh.

SPEAKER_11 2:16:12

Just like right before the race, just like, Dangar, I'm here to give you a massage. And then you put itching powder on him.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:19

Yeah. Wait, how many Damn, I only have one range of heel harm. I can just stand by the track and going like are we gonna have to just take the L on this one?

SPEAKER_09 2:16:37

I don't really want to take the L, but I don't s I don't see how we're gonna get there.

SPEAKER_11 2:16:42

Because like, it's everyone who's let us out along with Dangar. Yeah. I um you know I believe in myself. I don't know if I believe in myself quite that much, though.

SPEAKER_09 2:16:55

Yeah, I got that.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:56

Like, unless we just Well, let's go tell your girlfriend that you won't be boning her tonight.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:00

Uh Well, I'm I'm very disappointed in all of you, by the way.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:04

Hey.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:05

Not you. You did a you did everything right.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:08

Well, excuse me. I was by myself, you bitch.

SPEAKER_10 2:17:14

Excuse me.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:16

I wish I could have just sat and enjoyed a fun dancing show.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:20

It was a very fun dancing show. You should have been there. Starzan was dancing for his life.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:26

That sounds fun! You know what happened to me.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:28

It was not fun.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:28

Shut up, Starzan.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:30

I bet it was fun as hell. It was pretty fun, Starzan. Pretty fun. So, like, not only that, we we not only did we like fail in all of that, though, we failed in tretting the information that we need to see if we might be able to find uh uh what is her name? Uh Yigen. Yigen. Yigen.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:51

Yigen. Helen Yigen. Oh! I did fill my pockets with a bunch of her jewelry though that we can sell for like 500 credits.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:59

Oh, for fuck's sakes.

SPEAKER_11 2:18:00

Hey, we do a we look. Do we just spend 10,000? Look! We know that Denga's rigged to to win. What if we just like put the 500 on Denga, bing bang, boom, get a bit of money back.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:13

That's not that's that's not that uh That wasn't a mission though.

SPEAKER_11 2:18:19

Fucking shit it wasn't our mission! I'm trying to look on the fucking bright side, dude. Have some positivity for a change. I got 500 credits worth of jewelry. That's not nothing. It wasn't even your money that you were blowing, that was Ovan. No, I'm not it I don't care about some money. There's my disappointment is not about some money. Well, I'm sorry. Your disappointment is so d just so palatable, it feels like it's spreading to everything. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. You're not the first one to say so.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:52

You're not dis You're not a disappointment.

SPEAKER_11 2:18:56

It's meaningless when it comes from you after all this. I did my best. Fuck you!

SPEAKER_09 2:19:00

We all we all did what we uh were supposed to do. It's just it just sucks that we don't have anything to show for it.

SPEAKER_11 2:19:08

Yes, we do! We have 500 credits worth of jewelry, okay? We got something to show for it! I know it's not what we went in there for. I fucking know that! Listen, I know I'm being a little thin-skinned, it's just like feeling very attacked right now.

SPEAKER_09 2:19:21

It's okay. I'm I'm sorry. I'm just a little bit disappoint- I'm I'm I'm just I'm not I'm I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I I won't I won't tarp on the details, but that means we have to spend an extra episode.

SPEAKER_01 2:19:37

We go to the tabloid place and see if there's any news of Jedi's going ape on the field.

SPEAKER_11 2:19:42

I mean, to be fair, we did solve the uh the Kit Fisto sex scandal. Huh? No one was asking us to, but we solved that. Again, I'm trying to be positive, okay? Let me have my little sliver of fucking positivity in this life, okay?

SPEAKER_09 2:19:59

You're allowed to have your positivity. He says I'd be he said he says completely unpositively.

SPEAKER_11 2:20:06

I'd be fucking patronized. I can't believe I'm it's fine.

SPEAKER_09 2:20:10

Let's go back to that chick and see if it's tell her we fucked up and uh Can we have that information anyway?

SPEAKER_11 2:20:18

Yeah. We tried real hard, okay?

SPEAKER_07 2:20:21

So uh yeah, you can return to where the white witches are preparing for the race with your tails between your legs. And uh Zin, she looks up from her work when she sees you coming, and she says, Okay, so how did it go? Did you uh get the uh you know what?

SPEAKER_09 2:20:42

I don't even know what you're talking what you're talking about. What is this thing this thing even? I don't know what this thing is. This is uh this is this is stupid. And I fucking throw my phone down and I'm like, I'll get that later.

SPEAKER_11 2:20:58

We had a bad day.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:00

But what did we learn?

SPEAKER_01 2:21:02

Hots can have giant tits too.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:05

And you'll see how giant your tits are next time on Star Wars.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:10

Excuse me.

SPEAKER_07 2:21:12

My like I'm guessing you didn't get the prototype accelerator.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:18

No, we didn't. They they we we we had a big plan for everything, but uh uh unfortunately we were not competent enough uh in order to uh successfully get out with everything. We uh got out with our lives and that's about it, but that's okay. Well, not okay for you, but uh it's okay for us. Did you even go in? We saw a show and everything. Okay, well what did you do then? We stole five hundred dollars worth of jewelry after spending ten thousand dollars on a show so that we could be a distraction. We did so well.

SPEAKER_07 2:22:08

Do you do you show her the the jewelry? Like, hey, we got this stuff. It's all we have got to show fun, okay? And she looks at it and she says, uh, actually, you know, I could probably make use of that.

SPEAKER_11 2:22:21

Really?

SPEAKER_07 2:22:22

Yeah, that's uh that jewelry is uh Haysian smelt. It's an excellent conductor. We've been working with uh some pretty shoddy materials. It's not prototype accelerator or anything, but um should be able to knock a couple of kinks out of our engine.

SPEAKER_11 2:22:36

Uh enough kinks that you would give us the information we were hoping for?

SPEAKER_07 2:22:40

Uh let's say enough kinks that we can discuss it later, as you promised me, Chris.

SPEAKER_11 2:22:48

Whoa. So all that, Chris, is still gonna get laid. Inspirational.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:56

I can also like stand really close to the track and try and hurt him for a bit when he when he gets past. Wait, is that dark side stuff? No, I can't.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:04

Just stare at him angrily. Oh, he's a bounty hunter. It's probably fine to hurt him. He's killed so many people. Yeah, it's like a net neutral.

SPEAKER_01 2:23:14

Yeah, I think morally it's still you can bad use that.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:17

You can use the light side to do that. Well, he's a bounty hunter. He's probably going to go on and kill more people, so it's up to you.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:24

He's not a very good person.

SPEAKER_11 2:23:26

You can hurt with love.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:28

You can hurt. That's that's my new that's my new single with my boy band.

SPEAKER_01 2:23:32

You can hurt with love. How far is the range band?

SPEAKER_07 2:23:36

I mean, you're probably not watching like that close. It would be like medium at least.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:41

Eh. It's probably fine. It's probably fine.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:43

Hey look, I appreciate that you tried. Uh seems like uh things maybe didn't go well for you in uh the hot compound.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:51

Well, things things could have definitely got uh gone better. It was a bit of a, how do you say, domino effect of uh uh fuckery. Z it it fe it feels as though we were underprepared. We're learning though.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:06

Why don't you stick around and watch the race? Maybe we can uh all uh drown our sorrows together once we eventually lose.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:14

Ah, Monomi, we may uh may we be s uh sad and lonely together.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:19

Yes, uh Misery loves to have a companion.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:23

Prostrated corporated.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:28

So you're gonna are you gonna stick around at least to uh I'm gonna I'm gonna s I'ma stick around. Enjoy and have are you are you guys going to bet on the race?

SPEAKER_05 2:24:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:38

Who are you gonna bet on?

SPEAKER_10 2:24:39

That mummyfuck. That mum that mummy fuck gang Dengar. Yeah, despite the uh Yeah. Unless there's a Corellian in the race.

SPEAKER_11 2:24:48

Well, if there's a Corellion in the race.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:50

Fucking 10-year-old Corellian boy.

unknown 2:24:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 2:24:54

Now this is pod racing. Swoop racing.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:57

So, uh, you guys can stick around and you can place your bets on Dengar? Dangar, sure. Uh you guys are how much how much money are you putting on Dengar? Are you gonna put the 500 or are you gonna put like all of your money on Dengar? Because if he wins, you'll probably double whatever you put in.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:15

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go a thousand.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:17

I don't gamble morally.

SPEAKER_11 2:25:20

My 500. I'll I'll I'll put on 500. Okay. I don't want to blow all my money in case Dengar royally fucks it.

SPEAKER_07 2:25:28

So, uh you guys can uh watch the race from wherever wherever it is. You wanna watch the race, place your bets, and we're just gonna we're just gonna have him race against the white witches. We're gonna have him roll against them to see who comes out on top. So he's got three yellows. They've got interesting. So, uh he does have the prototype accelerator, but uh they also do have the new superconducting elements that you gave them from the jewelry that they were able to quickly melt down and add to their speeder. So, uh Dangar wins with seven success, four threats in a triumph.

SPEAKER_10 2:26:09

Jesus! Good job, Bummy.

SPEAKER_07 2:26:13

So, as expected, uh uh you can double whatever you bet, uh, feeling both good and potentially bad as the white witches head into uh the bar afterwards when they've lost, feeling sad that they didn't win. Uh I don't know if you want to tell them whether or not they're gonna be able to get it.

SPEAKER_11 2:26:35

And we bet against them. But we all get it we all double whatever we bet.

SPEAKER_07 2:26:40

And uh probably by the time you get your next mission, you'll have had plenty of time to smooth things over with Zinn and learn where it was that Helen and Yigin were sent off to, and maybe get a mission, uh, for real against a Jedi, or you know, rather than a hut, next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This episode of Empire Wreckers is brought to you by our top patrons, Alpha Bros 522, David B. Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Zuki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.