S13E17 - Loser

The Jedi trial has begun! After years of war agains the Confederacy of Independent Systems, the guardians of peace and justice in the Republic have found themselves under suspicion by the citizens of the galaxy.

Data obtained from the planet Kamino has indicated that it was the Jedi themselves, allied with deceased Separatist leader Count Dooku, who first commissioned the Republic's clone army, and implanted them with secret technology to ensure their compliance.

As the senate debates the future of the Jedi Order, the special agents who uncovered these shocking revelations have remained anonymous, and returned to business as usual....

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars Actual Play podcast where nobody ever breaks their embroidery hoops. Who's ready for a robust arts and crafting system today?

SPEAKER_03 0:16

And look, it was it's an old embroidery hoop. It was made of bamboo. I was just trying to find something to distract me from the cravens, but you know, in lieu of that, drugs it is.

SPEAKER_05 0:25

Uh bonjour, je m'appelle uh croissant. Uh I have made Zis Pipa Mache. Uh uh, what do you call hot monster? Uh with hair made of coconut. I forget what those fucking hot monsters are all of a sudden. Hot monster.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Hot monster too. Hot monster. It's like hair made of coconut. What?

SPEAKER_06 0:52

That's not one hot monster. Uh Starzhead is no stranger to materials and textiles. He himself has been forced to weave since he was the age of ten. Where Star Zed comes from, at the age of ten, you are forbidden to sit on furniture that you have not made yourself. No beds, no chairs. You must weave your own world.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Oh my god, every time the law gets deeper.

SPEAKER_07 1:20

And Illyria is croching a nice blue shawl. It is a very meditative activity. It's not an old lady activity at all. I don't know what you're talking about. Lots of cool, hip young people do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Hip young people do it.

SPEAKER_07 1:34

Not that I care, anyways. Tell them.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

It's too cool. And if you're ready for something cool and hip, uh stop listening to this Star Wars actual play podcast. But if you're not, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars. The Jedi trial has begun. After years of war against the Confederacy of Independent Systems, the guardians of peace and justice in the Republic have found themselves under suspicion by the citizens of the galaxy. Data obtained from the planet Camino has indicated that it was the Jedi themselves, allied with deceased Separatist leader Count Dooku, who first commissioned the Republic's clone army and implanted them with secret technology to ensure their compliance. As the Senate debates the future of the Jedi Order, the special agents who uncovered these shocking revelations have remained anonymous and returned to business as usual.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

I can't believe this happened.

SPEAKER_05 2:31

I I do forget how much bad shit we've done. Just what do you do? Every once in a while we just like get away with murders. Hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_06 2:42

Is it is it is it that we've all gotten away with murders? What murders?

SPEAKER_03 2:47

What murders?

SPEAKER_06 2:48

What murders? Raise your hand if you've committed a murder.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

I don't have to.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

I don't see. Calso starts raising her hand and I just put it down.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

So, after uh delivering that data, the news cycle has been swift. Uh, though you have earned yourself some 500 credits. Fuck yeah. Oh yeah. So it's been like about a month-ish since you assassinated Dooku. Um, and since then, the Republic's opinion of the Jedi has soured. There's been a lot, if you've been keeping track of uh news and things like that, uh, you will have heard that the Jedi Council has publicly disavowed the actions of Cypho Deus and claimed that he acted without their authority. But then, like, the the pundits just respond, like, okay, then how is one of the members of the Jedi Council going off and doing these rogue things? And it's like, hey, didn't he die after this? That's pretty suspicious. That's suspicious. Hashtag Sipho Deus didn't kill himself.

SPEAKER_05 3:54

It's a cover-up. Uh-oh. Oh no. Oh no, we're part of a conspiracy. I mean, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

What happened on Cyphodius Island? Oh no, what did you think?

SPEAKER_06 4:04

Was there another Jedi on that grassy knoll?

SPEAKER_03 4:07

What? No. That's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_06 4:09

Who said? Who told?

SPEAKER_03 4:11

What the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_06 4:13

I bet I know who it was. It was Chris. Of course it was Chris. What? No! No! No!

SPEAKER_00 4:23

He folded like Star Zand on Laundry Day. And although it does seem like, you know, things have changed, you do get uh called back to the SBI Central Office for another mission after doing a mission for the Chancellor uh that uh had such major consequences. It may it may seem a little bit odd to go back to just like here here's another Jedi for you to investigate, but you know, it pays the bills.

SPEAKER_05 4:50

Okay. It pays the I mean, okay, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

And when you do get to the SBI office, um, although it is quote unquote business as usual, it does the there is a different energy in the place. And it kind of feels like this the sort of status quo that's there, it feels like it's it's just a facade, and if you were just like looking at it objectively, it would seem like nothing has changed, but you can feel that things have changed, people are moving more quickly, people are like looking at each other, like there there's these weird glances that are happening, and it seems like the level of disquiet has kind of been ratcheted up. At any second, everybody is sort of prepared for the other shoe to drop, and everybody like everybody's just kind of looking out for that. They're looking up for where that shoe's gonna fucking come from because it is it is gonna come.

SPEAKER_05 5:44

Where?

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Well, you don't know Where's it gonna come? Oh no. Gray, when you get to his office, he seems to be coping well. Like, he doesn't seem really any different than when you normally see him. He welcomes you in and he says, Hey, heard you did some important work for the Chancellor.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Uh no.

SPEAKER_05 6:04

No, I don't know. I don't I don't know. Uh d may may uh maybe. Uh d depends on uh what it was. We've done a lot, we've done a lot of things with the Chancellor.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Yeah. Well, we're all doing our part. Uh and we've got another part for ya here. Uh I know it might seem a little a little bit of a letdown to go back to the old grind, but um, I think this is something that is gonna be something we want to take a look at soon. Things seem to be moving very quickly now. I I feel I can tell you this, given the relationship that we have now, um, that the Jedi, they've dispatched one of their top masters to try and hunt down General Grievous. So things in the next few days things may uh change quite a bit, and uh that's one of the reasons I want to get you guys on this mission before anything anything happens.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Okay, oh who do they have tracking down Grievous?

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Uh, that I don't know. But it is uh it is one of their one of their council members, one of the big twelve.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

Oh, that's fun.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

But uh this mission I have for you, given if that happens, you know, there are there have been a lot of questions about Jedi lately, what they're gonna do with this army, what's gonna happen after the war ends, and this mission I I want you guys to help us figure out exactly how compromised the Jedi are as a whole. And I feel like this is gonna be who?

SPEAKER_04 7:32

Okay, so what exactly is this mission?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

So over the past couple of years, uh there have been a number of reports from the field of um, I'm gonna say suspiciously young Jedi generals leading armies on the battlefield. And I don't mean like Padawan commanders like uh your friend Yigen.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Now let's not call her a friend anymore, but continue.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

We've identified 18 Jedi generals between the ages of 10 and 14 years old.

SPEAKER_06 8:06

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

And we unfortunately have identified them posthumously.

SPEAKER_06 8:11

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Ah Yeah, this is uh something that's very alarming. Uh of course the clones uh they but they have accelerated aging, but um these these kids are well they're kids. Kids they don't even have uh if they weren't Jedi, they would be, you know, their parents would be making all their decisions for them, but due to the whole, you know, Jedi thing, the order. It's it's it's a very difficult legal area to try and deal with. But we have narrowed down how and why this is happening to um a single Jedi master that seems to be promoting these kids.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

Oh, really? Just one?

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:54

Okay, and what's this guy's deal?

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Uh he brings up a hologram of a uh human man. He's got like kind of a very close haircut, almost shaved, he's got a little goatee. He looks to be in his like early 50s, and some of you may remember him because he is a Creshmaster. So you may remember this guy from the time when you were younglings in the temple. He would have been in his 30s back then. And if you do, you recognize him as Keller and Beck, uh, a Jedi who basically oversees the training and uh looks after the younglings in the temple. If you ever encountered him, you would have remembered him as um somebody who was kind of he kind of had the vibe of someone who was naturally a little bit of a goof, but put on an air of trying to seem serious and cool. But uh that, you know, he had a good relationship with all the kids, and like you could very easily uh get him to sort of drop his aloof character that he adopted. And like he's a very skilled musician, so like he was like a musician and a dancer, and like it's it was very easy for him to like pick up like a mop in a bucket and like stomp out like a a really cool like rhythmic musical performance that kids liked.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Okay. So he's like the fun teacher.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

Would any of us have like because you said like he would have been around when we were there, would any any of us have like worked more closely with him or like learned more closely with him?

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Well, that's up to you. He was he he is, you know, early 50s, uh, so you guys he would have been in his you know 30s, he would have been a Jedi back then, and he is one of the main Cresh Masters of the Order, so uh it's up to you whether or not you knew him.

SPEAKER_04 10:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Because that would have been like twenty years ago that he would have been around, because that would have been like kind of right around when Kala would have been going to the service core. So she might not have known him, but the rest.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Because he would have been um like when Kala, when you were born, he would have been like 19. So by the time you actually got into the temple, if he was like a Jedi Knight, an very young Jedi Knight back then, then he would have been like a junior person in the crash when you were a kid.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Okay, so I'm so yeah, she Cala w probably was at least aware of him. Yeah. My favorite kindergarten teacher.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Basically, yeah. Like the cool, the cool elementary school teacher who was in Stomp.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

It's Rafi. It's I'm at best. Mr. Mr. Rafi. Is Kellerin Beck?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

Oh yeah, we know Beck. Wait, what?

SPEAKER_00 11:37

You think he's doing this? And Gray says, well, we know he's doing it. Uh, based on the records we've been able to acquire, all of these promotions of these dead kids were done by him. And we know that it's not just him going rogue, uh, because Yoda's mark of assent was on all of the paperwork for these promotions as well.

SPEAKER_04 12:01

Oh no, that's gotta be a that's gotta be a misunderstanding. He's just like a a fun goofy guy. Haha.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

He's just a fun goofy guy, right?

SPEAKER_05 12:11

Can we see the uh can we see look at the evidence?

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Well, that's what uh I was hoping that you guys could go and determine. See, based on what we've been able to determine, his MO is that he takes a group of about half a dozen younglings off to a remote system in the outer rim, puts them through some sort of, I assume, incredibly truncated Jedi trial. A couple of them get knighted, and then they get deployed to the field to lead clones and inevitably die. We don't know what that process is. Uh all we have all we have is Beck's word that they are worthy and uh Yoda co-signing the paperwork. Yeah, Yoda.

SPEAKER_07 12:54

So now they love children.

SPEAKER_06 12:56

There's some sort of cover-up.

SPEAKER_05 12:58

So he's bring he's bringing them out. Uh is so much that uh he uh He's bringing them out too early? Is that is he trying to like um uh is he on r uh raiding people on a bell curve or what?

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Well, we don't know. The Jedi has su have suffered significant losses during the war. Uh there are, you know, more soldiers than there are Jedi to lead them.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

Yeah, like, you know, we can we can go and talk to them and you know, maybe maybe there's a misunderstanding. Maybe it's something that, like, it's gotta be some sort of explanation, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:34

We hope so. If things seem like uh they're not on the up and up, if these kids aren't the prodigies that they seem to be on paper, then maybe you could put a stop to this. Um we'd also, as I mentioned, we need to know exactly how compromised the Jedi are. Because we know that the masters were involved with this uh army from the beginning. We know that the council uh were the ones who ordered it. So you guys were in the service corps, there are some knights that were brought in after this, but uh honestly, what have the masters been teaching the kids? Because these kids, if they're being knighted, they've got lightsabers, they've got the ability to wield the force. Although they wouldn't be involved in the planning of any potential theocratic takeovers of the Republic, are they willing tools of the Jedi Order? Or is it possible that perhaps if something were to diminish the Jedi's, let's say, influence on the galaxy, could these kids safely be removed from that, or are they too far gone? Because you you know better than anyone how early this stuff starts. Um in the SBI we do a lot of we deal with a lot of issues like this: people being isolated from their families, being told that they can't talk to people on the outside, being drilled with uh very specific, especially religious ideals, being told to you know dedicate themselves fully to this specific in-group. This is classic, you know, cult indoctrination, and I don't want to say the Jedi are a cult. Well, but given what we now know about the origin of the army, can these kids be saved? I I want you to determine that.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Uh hopefully.

SPEAKER_05 15:27

I feel like it is I feel like it is dangerous. Well, we've already uh chosen the face of many people. What's a few more?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Yeah, I mean look, we'll go investigate, we'll see what's going on.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Hopefully, you know, here's hope and fraud misunderstanding, but like if not, then Yeah, if they're being coerced or otherwise manipulated into doing this, then, you know, of course, uh we'll we'll get them out of that situation.

SPEAKER_05 15:51

But What what will happen to the kids? What uh if it uh if it is what you fear?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Well, that is a determination that honestly uh we're not able to make at this point because we we might be able to send them back to their families if we can get that information, if the Jedi are willing to provide that information. But relations between the Republic and the Jedi are strained at the moment. They're still the generals of the army, but that I don't know how much longer that's gonna last, especially with them going after Grievous, whatever that means for them. But hopefully we'll be able to take care of these kids and uh get them out of a bad situation if that's what they're in.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Yeah, we take care of it. We got this, Gray.

SPEAKER_07 16:36

No, being sent to a war as a 14-year-old is a great thing.

SPEAKER_05 16:41

Don't listen to her. She's already too far gone.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Damn, I wish I was I wish I was a Padawan during wartime. I wish I could have just gotten promoted to Padawan immediately. It's fine.

SPEAKER_07 16:54

I mean me, but not anybody else.

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Yeah. You would have been fine with this. All these other chumpy ass kids, they can't handle it.

SPEAKER_07 17:02

I wouldn't have died.

SPEAKER_05 17:04

Oh, that's how it goes. Oh, wow then.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Yeah, these kids, they were just like better. Yeah. This is honestly a skill issue on the part of these children.

unknown 17:15

Damn.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Anyway, shall we go on our shitty ship, not the questing quail, because it got blowed up last time.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Well, Gray, he says, Yeah, that's a good point. Um, the questing quail was destroyed. So unfortunately, the custard gannet is not exactly the type of vessel that uh is equipped to operate in an official capacity like this. We don't want you sneaking in, being mistaken for smugglers. Um so in this case, uh, until we can arrange a new vessel for you to use. Jed will be acting as your valet. Uh he has been assigned to an Omicron class attack shuttle for some of his missions. He's done very well, so uh you'll be able to accompany him.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

Oh, okay, cool. It's been a while since we've seen Jed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

Can find uh the vessel in the docking bay. It is uh called the Sword of Justice.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Man, it feels really cool.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

That's a pretty cool name.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

It's a cool name, but it's also like we're the kind of people who are like, what do we name our ship? The Questing Quail.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

Something like the Sword of Justice is uh meant for something that is in one's pants.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Is that what you call your dick? A baby you want to see my sword of justice?

SPEAKER_05 18:34

No, I mean people really carry around swords and it calls them justice. Oh yeah. Yes, what yes, I'm talking about my penis. What do you think?

SPEAKER_06 18:40

See, I was thinking more like metal band uh album.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Sword of Justice! Empire of Dead. That's okay. Anyways, let's go to the Sword of Justice and let's go see Jed.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

You can go see Jed in the Hangar Bay. He does indeed have the Sword of Justice, an Omicron class attack shuttle, heavily armed for the kind of missions that uh you usually go on, which tend to try and be more diplomatic in nature, but perhaps with things being the way they are, some extra firepower is not a bad idea. The Omicron class attack shuttle is the same sort of uh shuttle that uh various clone uh groups like the Bad Batch tend to tool around in. And you can see Jed getting things prepped despite everything that's happened. He's still wearing and taking good care of his uh Jedi themed armor with the shoulder pauldron that uh was a gift to him from Anakin Skywalker.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

Hell yeah, that was a gift from Anakin Skywalker, baby! Our close personal friend Anakin Skywalker.

SPEAKER_05 19:50

Who's not gonna become evil? He's not evil. None of us are going to become evil. He's the only evil.

SPEAKER_07 19:57

And Tiny Anakin, who did not become evil.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Say hi to Jed. Say hello. Hey, need we help out here with uh preps?

SPEAKER_01 20:09

Oh no, I've got everything uh ready to go. I was briefed by the supervisor earlier. It sounds like Beck has headed off to wherever he's headed uh earlier this morning, so we've gotta catch up with him.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

Yeah, yeah. How uh how you been?

SPEAKER_01 20:23

I've I've been alright. I've been doing a lot of uh things I can't tell you about. It's uh how have you been holding up? You being Jedi finding out that your order is so corrupt. I'm I'm glad that you uh that you're part of the the Senate Bureau, that uh that you don't have to really be involved with that, and that you weren't, you know, compromised.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

Oh y yeah, you know, it's uh it's a lot to uh it's a lot to take in. But we're we're keeping it together. We're keeping it together. Yeah, right? We're all keeping it together.

SPEAKER_05 20:50

We know that we are on the right side of history, so therefore uh so therefore we do we do what we must.

SPEAKER_06 20:58

After all that we've been through, we know that we're cool. No!

SPEAKER_07 21:02

We were not indoctrinated.

SPEAKER_05 21:06

Wait, I might start saying Zess now.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

I like the way that sounds.

SPEAKER_05 21:10

Say that again.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Say that again. It's like a little whistle on the end. Yeah, well that's history, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:20

25,000 years of the Republic, the Jedi have been the guardians of peace and justice the whole time. This is just a little blip, you know. If turns out that Mace Windu's an asshole, that doesn't mean Revan wasn't a total badass. Yeah, right? Yeah, no, no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 21:36

Like maybe it's just a a few bad apples, you know? Like, you know, I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding and like, you know, wartime, it's difficult, and I'm sure everything's still fine, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:46

With all with all of the people that we've been investigating, I feel as though the Jet uh the Jedi have been uh getting relaxed with their uh with who they bring in.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Yeah, uh I heard about uh on Umbara this Jedi General Pong Krell just went bug nuts crazy and started killing his own troops.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

That sounds horrible. Things have been uh a little hectic, but I'm I'm glad that we're gonna go and save some kids, huh?

SPEAKER_04 22:12

Yeah. We're gonna go save some kids.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

We're gonna make sure that's it. Though I guess one or two of them might probably be older than me.

SPEAKER_07 22:22

You are young.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go on the ship.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

You can you can go on the ship, and Jed says, so based on the briefing, it seems like Beck's taking his ship into the Arvala system.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Do we do we know anything about the Orvala system?

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Uh, give me an Astrogation.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

Ah, Hilary. Yeah. My astriation's so bad.

SPEAKER_07 22:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Okay. Uh Arvala system's in the outer rim. So give me a three purple astrogation.

SPEAKER_07 22:50

Oh, two success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Okay. Yeah, you fill us all in so we don't look dumb. So you can bring the Arvala system up. You can set uh coordinates to it with those advantages. You can determine that the Arvala system has two inhabited planets, Arvala 4 and Arvala 7. Based on the information you have, it seems like Arvala 7 is kind of like a barren, like desert world, while Arvala 4 is a lot more lush. It's had one too many drinks if you're. It seems like a like a it's not really inhabited, but it seems to have a lot of uh vegetation. Yeah, very habitable. The kind of place that like has a lot of strong life force. So if you were uh a Jedi training people, probably get the sense that Arvala 4 would be the best place to look.

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Okay, set a course for our Vala 4.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Set a force for Arvala 4. This ship is uh among the more state-of-the-art, based on the information that you would have gotten from Gray Keller and Beck is flying around in an old Pelta class frigate. Not uh not super advanced, your hyperdrive is probably faster than his, so although he left earlier, you could probably uh, if not completely catch up with him, then at least arrive not too long after he did. And you can also anticipate, based on the uh the briefing from Gray, that Beck, aside from his Jedi students, apparently tends to bring only a couple of droids as sort of administrative aids. So it's just he's the only, like, authority figure that's on this mission. Well what you don't like that?

SPEAKER_07 24:40

Not really. Just one guy in his fifties with a bunch of pubescent teenagers?

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yeah. It's fine. Hey, some of them are naturally pre-pubescent.

SPEAKER_05 24:51

Some are pre-10 to 14.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:54

That makes it better.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Nothing awry could happen when a middle-aged man is hanging out alone with a bunch of pre-pubescent kids. There's a couple of droids. Yeah, there's a couple droids.

SPEAKER_05 25:05

Are they school-supplied droids?

SPEAKER_06 25:07

It's okay. There's a there's a system in place to protect them. Wait, to protect both of them? No, to protect them. Only one of them.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

You gotta decide which one.

SPEAKER_06 25:21

That feels like the easiest trolley problem. Starting to feel like we're the bad guys.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

We're fine.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

It's fine. So once you arrive at uh Arvolafour, uh, because you got those advantages, you can see just the tail end of a Pelta class frigate heading down towards the surface. So uh their whatever trials they're doing on this planet have not started yet. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Okay, that's good. Should we uh just follow it down? Like we're not we're sub we're meant to look like we're there on official business, so I don't think we need to be stealthy. You are on official business. Yeah. We're we're not meant to be going in stealth, I should say.

SPEAKER_07 26:02

We are, and we look like it. If they have nothing to hide, then they won't be upset.

SPEAKER_06 26:11

The best way to know that is to just consistently say it as many times as possible. Hey, we're on official business.

SPEAKER_05 26:17

Listen, we're able to watch you. We are unofficial business. Official business.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

We're here as a chaperone for you and all these pre-pubescent kids. Shall we go down?

SPEAKER_00 26:27

You can go down, and they land, this frigate lands on a like there is a landing pad down there. One that has been constructed, it bears the seal of the Jedi Order. It's kind of like in the middle of the woods on the top of this this hill that is sort of adjacent to a mountain range. It's very picturesque, very scenic, very uh what's it doing out there in the middle of nowhere?

SPEAKER_04 26:55

What's it doing out there? What's it doing out there?

SPEAKER_00 26:58

There is enough room for the pelvic frigate and your shuttle to set down. And you can see as you're bringing the ship in, that uh you can kind of see Beck in his Jedi robes, you can see the two droids. One of them appears to be a protocol droid, the other is an Astromech, that are helping to usher a group of six kids out of the frigate. They look to be, you know, somewhere between 10 to 14 years old. And they seem sort of like confused to see you, not like uh-oh, but just like, you know, is that supposed to be here?

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Like the the kids or uh All of them. Beck. All of them, okay.

SPEAKER_05 27:41

Including Beck. Uh we are here on the visual business. Um it feels weird when you actually say it in front of him.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Yeah, you can you can step out and like he it takes a second and he kind of is like looking at you in a way where it's like he seems kinda it seems like some something's happening in his brain.

SPEAKER_05 28:01

Does he recognize us? At what point uh can I roll perception to see if he's gonna bolt?

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Yeah, uh this would be probably against his cool, so that'll be a two-red perception.

SPEAKER_05 28:11

Um, this probably won't work. Uh let's see. I keep forgetting. I'm bad at perception now. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 28:17

I just got a little bit better. I can remove a black. Two red, you say?

SPEAKER_05 28:22

Yeah. I'll roll that.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

Uh-oh. Chris, you think he's gonna bolt?

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Oh fuck. Hey oh, hey, hey, tell him. I'll roll two, I'll roll two. Two red?

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

Four success, three, we're a threat. Chris, it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Yes, you you can see he's not, but crit, but not before Chris has a chance to do something stupid.

unknown 28:42

Chris.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Yeah, it's like happening in slow motion, Kala throwing out a hand. It's like, Chris, no!

SPEAKER_06 28:51

You're concentrating on his face so hard you like you like lean forward and snatch your face into his. Studying it so close. Oh, too close, too close.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

I I I full on I uh full on uh bolt toward uh bolt towards him. Full on bolt towards him. Just Naruto running at this guy. What's your what's your athletics? Uh too green, please. Oh Chris.

SPEAKER_06 29:24

Chris may have been watching too much Starzan. This will be his uh his vigilance then.

SPEAKER_03 29:30

This will be his vigilance. Yeah, against your maybe I'll just think that you're doing a joke because it's so pathetic.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

He he he to success. So you are bolting towards him, and he's like not running away. So what he does is like as you approach to like try and tackle him, like he grabs you and he just kind of pulls you in for a big hug, and he says, Ah, Chris, it's been a while. It's good to see you too.

SPEAKER_05 30:02

Oh and then I'm like, Oh, I see, that's what was in your eyes. Go! How are you uh how are you doing? What are you guys doing? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Does Chris just like melt into a big pile of goo because someone's hugging him and telling him it is excited to see him?

SPEAKER_07 30:20

Just like uh parental figure back to the wheel.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

Positive attention positive attention, yes.

SPEAKER_05 30:26

It is good it is good to it is good to see you too, bag. Uh does um um can I can I um rattle in my brain to see if I remember uh remember him? Because I assume he taught me.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Yeah, like if you know if you remember him you remember him. I don't uh yes, no, I remember Kitty.

SPEAKER_05 30:50

I will remember that he probab that he probably taught me in uh Jedi Garden, like kindergarten.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Um teacher.

SPEAKER_05 30:59

I don't I won't remember anything uh basically anything about uh about him other than like uh does good to z uh does good to see you too and um me not trying to make myself look like a fool because I bolted towards him.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

You just know in a factual way that this guy was your Jedi Garden teacher. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Man, you've gotten big. Strappin' lad.

SPEAKER_05 31:22

Uh so have you.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

I heard that you you you got uh I'm s sorry to hear that you didn't make it. Uh that you got sent off to the service corps. That's a shame.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

You know, uh you know, uh you know what they say, say la vi. But uh you know what? I think thing uh I think my life is in a a decent place now.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Uh Well you see you're you're wearing your lightsaber again. Have you uh returned to the fold?

SPEAKER_05 31:48

Oh I'm uh I'm kind I'm kind of doing some stuff for uh I'm do I'm doing some stuff for uh the republic now and I'm uh get it uh getting my uh getting my groove back as it were. Not the Jedi. I I look back at you guys and I'm like no I can't can't it be both? Can't it be the both uh no I w I'm working for both. I mean the Jedi work with the Republic who work with the Jet uh who work with the Jedi. It's uh it's a symbiotic relationship.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

And and he sees the rest of you and he says more more service corps members. I you know, now I I have heard that uh some members of the service corps were uh transferred over to the Republic military.

SPEAKER_05 32:34

You know, that's uh uh in a way that that happens, uh uh that happens though. Every once in a while it's it's just one of those those things where I'm sorry that I would have disappointed you. I'm sorry that I could not I I could not become a full Jedi at the time that is normal for people, but I'm still tr uh I'm still doing what is good for uh good for the people. Well, there's nothing wrong with being a lifelong learner, Chris. Ah, yeah, see, we learn something new every day, otherwise, why would we still be alive?

SPEAKER_07 33:11

It's just like the Republic can see our wealth, our our worth.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

And wealth.

SPEAKER_07 33:17

And wealth.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

You better hope the Republic doesn't see your wealth or they're gonna be pulling out of your fucking mattress. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:23

Where did you get all that? Oh, it's a long story.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

Uh don't don't talk about it. He spots Jed, and he says an arc trooper. Uh we're not in trouble or anything, are we?

SPEAKER_05 33:34

Oh no, no, no, no. We're just uh we were just sent uh sent here for a routine expedition. Uh this is Will, this is Ollie. No. Uh uh, we are uh yeah, we're we're we're just here to make uh we're just here to make sure that everything uh everything is running well. We get sent every once in a while we get sent to uh different pla uh different place just to make uh make sure that everything is good and then we uh go on our way.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

Yeah, it's like an audit.

SPEAKER_05 34:04

Everything's good here. Okay. I I I believe you, but uh if we don't uh come out with the reports, then you know people will be very mad at us, so we're so do you you don't you don't you don't mind if we stick around for a while. We can uh you you can uh fill me in on the last watch set. Wow, almost thirty years, yeah. Almost twenty five twenty-five years or so, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Yeah, so uh what we're doing here is these uh Padawans, Padawans, gather around these are some of my students from years and years ago.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

They all would have been in his kindergarten class.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

That's fair. They are members of the Jedi Service Corps. Now I know you're all here for your own trials, uh, but these esteemed members of the Jedi Service Corps, they didn't pass the trials, and can okay when he said.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Or didn't get a chance. Can I kind of look at Jed? Because Illyria did play off the line that we were Jedi. As far as I know, Jed is still under the impression that we are Jedi. Is he reacting in any kind of way to this or uh Uh he's I mean he's fully armored, so.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Perception?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Yeah, this will be probably it'll be difficult to read him in his armor. Uh, and he's also like on the job. So that will be Perception against his cool three purple and two blacks.

SPEAKER_03 35:29

Three purple, I can remove a black. Two black? Yeah. So just one black me. Maybe there's like a disappointed slump in his shoulders when he says that. Okay, three purple, black. Ah, I got two success. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Where did you go?

SPEAKER_03 35:45

My perception is very reasonable.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Like, you can see that there is just the sh slightest shift in his helmet as as if he's like looking at each of you.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

Aww. We'll explain later. Sorry, Jed. I didn't mean for her to go this far.

SPEAKER_05 36:01

I I I I didn't give him any kind of hope. I didn't say shit. I don't know what you guys were doing. I didn't say shit.

SPEAKER_03 36:08

I didn't say fucking shit. You just heard that Elyria was telling lies out of school, and you're like, I will let this be. Not my problem.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Not to my monkeys, not to my zoo. But Becky continues, is that these four members of the Jedi Service Corps, even though they didn't pass their trials, they still are able to serve the Jedi. And I know not all of you will be passing your trials here today, but you will be able to continue your training and try again. And even if you decide not to, the service corps is still a great way to continue your learning. Look at these fine specimens that we have, all of them bearing their lightsabers, all of them working for the good of the Jedi.

SPEAKER_05 36:47

I don't like I I don't like the way he calls me specimen. Specimen specimen feels weird.

SPEAKER_03 36:53

Okay, but if you were to look at Starzan and be like, what word do I use to describe? Specimens. What a specimen. That's a specimen. Specimen.

SPEAKER_05 37:03

Calling me a specimen feel makes me feel like a whore, and I'm not sure about that.

SPEAKER_03 37:08

Look at Starzan, though. That's a survivor somewhat.

SPEAKER_05 37:12

Yeah, but like I don't like the word, you know.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

Like calling someone a specimen, it does, it it just has an implication of like look at the f like you are something to be looked at.

SPEAKER_06 37:24

Yeah, exactly. This is not a human. This is a separate type of specimen.

SPEAKER_05 37:30

We could say that about uh Starzan because it's true. Whereas look at you know for me Bigfoot. We don't know what Bigfoot is.

SPEAKER_06 37:40

We don't we don't really know what Bigfoot is. We just have one example of the specimen, you know?

SPEAKER_00 37:45

So that's that's well no you can call him a specimen because he's the only human.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Yeah. Oh that's right. He's the uh he's the one non-alien freak in the past. He's he's more human.

SPEAKER_06 37:56

More human than a human man.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

So Beck says, these uh four are here to observe your trials today. Hopefully this uh pilot program can be expanded. I assume that's why you're here to uh maybe expand this to happen for more people. It is uh you know Is this something that you that you have created yourself or something that's a program that I've come up with to try and uh because I know that the given given the constraints that the Jedi are under, uh we can always use more Jedi knights, and I know that uh traditionally there's a lot of meditation and there's a lot of study, but uh you know, kids these days are just growing up so fast that I think we can maybe skip a couple of steps here and there, and especially with things the way they are, we need to make sure that the the Jedi can defend their place in the galaxy and defend people and hold back the dark. What kind of steps are you are you skipping if you don't mind me asking? Well, uh I've just felt that extended uh curriculum that works in peacetime maybe isn't appropriate during a war. Ah, that's fair. I I don I understand that.

SPEAKER_05 39:08

I understand that. Is there uh is there ways that we can uh and and again, I apologize if this is too far. Is there any because I'm very curious as to know what how does a curriculum works.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

Well, why don't you why don't you watch? I will watch. So he uh watch he brings you over to uh the six Jedi younglings that he's brought with him. And you can see that each of them uh they seem to have been divided into three teams of two. Each of them is wearing um differently colored robes. And he says, uh I the way that I run my trials is that they do them in pairs, usually Jedi that have a uh close friendship or some type of bond, sometimes siblings that were brought to the temple together. Uh and I feel that being able to work together as a team is a way to compensate for the uh lack of individual knowledge that can sometimes, I understand. That's why we have the master and padawan relationships, but in this case we have two Padawans becoming two knights together.

SPEAKER_07 40:10

This is making me so angry.

SPEAKER_05 40:12

If there is something if there's something that has held us together, us as a group, it is the team it is our teamwork and our friendship. I uh completely understand.

SPEAKER_07 40:21

And he says deep breathing over here.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Uh on the purple team, we have Zoe and Malaya, and it seems to be two like 11-year-old girls. Okay. Orange team is uh Quentin and his younger brother Braden. Uh they seem to be 14 and 12. And on the blue team, we have Sage and Raphael, two good friends from uh the Crashes. And Sage is about 14 years old. Raphael seems to be 12.

SPEAKER_04 40:51

Uh-huh. Um, Master Beck, I got a question for you. So, this is to kind of accelerate the process of uh getting people into knighthood, right? In wartime. Yes. In wartime, because we we need more people.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Um is there any particular reason why you're pulling on uh Padawans and not, you know, as you mentioned before, all the service core people who already went through the early learning stages and perhaps would be uh Well, yeah, well the the Service Corps uh as valuable as you are to the Jedi, uh I have found that uh in many cases a lifetime of failure uh sets into the mind of service core members, and it can be hard to reverse that. Pulling from the pool of younglings who haven't yet had that disappointment and have those mental setbacks, they are set up for success.

SPEAKER_04 41:48

So you're saying that what you think is better in wartime is a uh a bright, shiny optimism and a lack of understanding that bad things can and will happen to you. Is that is that what I'm hearing? That's who you wanted to send to the into the battlefield?

SPEAKER_00 42:05

Well, as we all know, your focus determines your reality, and if you focus on positive things, you will generate a positive reality. That is how the force works.

SPEAKER_04 42:14

Is it? Is it?

SPEAKER_07 42:16

Wait, do these younglings have these younglings had masters? Are they Padawans or just younglings?

SPEAKER_00 42:22

I call them Padawans, uh, but they have not yet taken a master. I'm kind of their unofficial master as the Cresh Master. Uh some of them are a little older than Younglings traditionally uh tend to be. At 13, of course, as you know, uh we tend to uh reassign younglings into the service corps, but due to the lack of more mature Jedi Knights, we have some younglings staying in the temple longer than they would otherwise. And now that they are becoming knights, maybe they'll be able to take on apprentices of their own.

SPEAKER_05 42:54

At what point do you is he is his face uh looking like we're asking way too many questions? Is it now?

SPEAKER_06 43:01

It's a child the pyramid scheme.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

He seems to believe that you're there like as in a capacity uh in the capacity of like Jedi. Like we it doesn't occur to him that anything he's doing is weird.

SPEAKER_08 43:14

So I um okay. Oh, okay. Um okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:20

Okay. Okay. Um, how do I respond to this? What does one say to that? Uh oh.

SPEAKER_08 43:30

Yeah, let's let's watch. Let's watch what you do with it.

SPEAKER_05 43:33

Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe a cow set maybe he'll surprise us. Maybe uh something maybe he's got some secret sauce or something.

SPEAKER_04 43:42

Yeah, maybe maybe he's not just feeding kids to the coyotes. We'll see.

SPEAKER_07 43:47

I am so upset about what we're about to witness.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

We don't know what we're about to witness. It could be anything.

SPEAKER_05 43:55

It could be magical. It could be magical, Illyria.

SPEAKER_07 43:59

Why not? Can I look at these children? What is their like in demeanor? How are they nervous? Are they confident?

SPEAKER_00 44:05

Do they look like they're shiny bright and shiny and new? They are a little bit nervous because, of course, this is their chance to become Jedi Knights, but they seem like none of them seem like they were like here against their will. They're all like looking at Master Beck with like, yeah, this is the guy. This is the guy who's gonna be this is my ticket. It's my ticket to the top.

SPEAKER_07 44:28

Well, of course they went, they're 13 years old.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Yes. And and he's he's the cool teacher.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

God, he was the cool teacher. God, that was us once.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

That was us once.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

Okay. Yeah, let's see what they got. Let's see what they got, Master.

SPEAKER_07 44:41

Let's the games begin. Wow, maybe I should have been brought up in wartime and just see Illyria. I'm not sure. Oh, there was some Jedi masters around? Just make him a knight. Okay. Anyways, let's watch this.

SPEAKER_03 44:54

Yeah, let's do hey, why don't we do some like real quick meditation while we're watching, okay? Like deep breathing. Let's do a deep breathing exercise, is Elyria. Yeah, let's do that.

SPEAKER_06 45:04

I love that there's a Jedi diploma mill. That's that's kind of great. Does this guy have late night commercials?

SPEAKER_03 45:11

Oh god. I don't know, but uh while we're watching, I'll try to do some deep breathing with Elyria, because like I understand why you're pissed off. I understand why you're feeling in this way, man. Well, I mean, these are prodigies, so like the the trial, like maybe it's like prodigies are 14 years old and they hadn't gotten picked up by a master yet? You're telling me the prodigies, these are the prodigies? The ones who only still a bunch of little Anakin Skywalkers.

SPEAKER_05 45:36

No, the easy band prodigy, Breeze Pesha.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

Yeah, the fucking the prodigies, the ones who are only still in the temple because they're extending the stay time. Like deep breathing. We're doing our deep breathing, we're doing our meditation, we're watching. Open hearts, open minds.

SPEAKER_05 45:52

I I I'm let's steal a bunch of kids and then kick them out.

SPEAKER_07 45:56

Anyways, let's go.

SPEAKER_05 45:57

I feel as though our blinds are gonna be blown.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

Let's let's let our minds be blown. My mind is open and ready for a blowin'.

SPEAKER_00 46:05

So he leads you, uh, the entire group of you, to uh the first trial area, which he describes as the trial of the body. And he leads you to this like uh rock cliff that is overseeing this sort of shallow uh area that's been dug out. And inside this almost like a little amphitheater, it's there's maybe like a ten-foot drop down from this cliff onto the ground. Uh, there is a guts-style obstacle course. Guts? A Legends of the Hidden Temple style. There we go. That's the ship.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

Okay. They they got the little uh oh, that that's like a little spinny platform you got down there, huh?

SPEAKER_00 46:52

And he says, this is the trial of the body. As a Jedi Knight, your physical form must be honed and you must be able to take care of yourself. We are, of course, in a war, which means we should all be expected to have to fight to survive. And he says, each of you will have to complete this course, both of you in your pairs, to collect the pieces that you'll need to construct your lightsaber. The first to complete the trial moves on to the second, and the second team also moves on the third team to complete the trial. Unfortunately, you will have to return to the temple for further training, but that just means you have another chance to learn.

SPEAKER_07 47:32

So they're building out so many chances these days.

SPEAKER_05 47:39

Building a lightsaber is pretty impressive.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Yeah, they're building the lightsaber right here, and they oh look, they is that monkey the monkey bars down there, huh? Oh, I I love I I love the monkey bars, don't we all?

SPEAKER_00 47:52

He sends so he sends the kids on their way in their teams, and as you're watching them, these are Jedi Padawans, these are Jedi Younglings. This obstacle course would be achievable by s by a kid who didn't have force. Like this is easy as shit. Like Okay. They like it almost like there's a part where they have to like leap up and grab some fruit, and it's like, is there a fucking trampoline in the ground? Oh that makes me.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

That's cool. It was real cool.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

This is baby mode trials. And can we can we try can we try it yourself?

SPEAKER_05 48:43

If we if we if we say that this isn't good enough, and then we get something, and then he says, like, hey, if you think it's so easy, why don't you try it? Can we try it?

SPEAKER_06 48:54

Be prepared to be left in the dust, children.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Do you okay do you want do you want to try and do the obstacle course along with them? Uh no, I'm good.

SPEAKER_05 49:05

Like just like is it multiple people at once? Can I like push them down? Push them out of the way.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Yeah, there's like these sort of three tracks that all have the same obstacles, just in a slightly different order.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

I never stop, I never stop being gifted, send me back to fourth grade, I'll annihilate them all like I did the first time.

SPEAKER_05 49:24

I will fuck them up.

SPEAKER_06 49:27

You already um I will throw them over my head. Exactly right. You already did that thing where you um pushed them down, some down earlier. Why don't you do that again now? Well can you push them down?

SPEAKER_02 49:39

I don't think you push down keys. Um this looks like a let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_05 49:46

Let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

Do they like all breeze through super easy?

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Uh they do breeze through super easily, but the purple team, the two girls, they come in just slightly after the other ones.

SPEAKER_04 50:00

Um, Master, I uh god, I can't help but notice.

SPEAKER_00 50:03

It says congratulations, Padawans.

unknown 50:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Orange and blue teams, you will be moving on to the next trial. Purple team, you did very well today. And uh maybe next time you will be able to return after some more training.

SPEAKER_04 50:16

Next time to get a second chance.

SPEAKER_06 50:18

Uh out of curiosity, does that ever happen? Is that we're like, you're back after training for a while.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

Well, this is only the first go-around. I want to give all of the younglings a chance before uh bringing anybody back. Of course, they do need time to train in between.

SPEAKER_08 50:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:34

Um, you know, I just can't help but notice that uh wow, that's uh they were all, you know, some were a little bit faster than the others, but like, man, that seemed like a pretty simple obstacle course.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

Like I of course They are very well, they will be very skilled Jedi.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

Oh, yeah. You know, it just kinda seems like, you know, maybe you wouldn't need to be a skilled, uh, a skilled Padawan to complete it. It kind of seems like, you know, yeah, you have a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 50:57

And he kind of puts his hand on your shoulder and he says, the service core may have dulled your senses, Kala, but I assure you, although it appears easy to somebody who does not have strength and the force, this trial would be a significant obstacle.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

I am gonna peel the skin off you with my teeth. Oh my god, why don't you get away? I ra I I raised my hand.

SPEAKER_05 51:21

Can I try?

SPEAKER_00 51:23

Yes, Chris. Uh please, but for one uh as skilled as you, I I assume that this will be also uh not much of a challenge. Of course, these are these are young links. I I don't I don't listen to him. I just go. Okay, give me a give me a one purple athletics.

unknown 51:44

Son of a fish.

SPEAKER_05 51:46

Uh one purple, where is my there you are. For success and one one advantage.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

Yeah, this is like you've been uh you know doing a lot more with your Jedi skills than you probably were with the exploration core. And even then, like you were going like cave diving, finding alarm clocks and stuff. Uh but like this is, yeah, this is um a pretty simple challenge for you to overcome, but again, you are uh a lot more skilled than you used to be when you were 10 years old.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

I'm also just you said it was one purple.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:20

I'm also just gonna follow Chris down. One success. I have two green to athletics. I got one success on this. You fucking kidding me, dude? This is the trial?

SPEAKER_00 52:30

I can't help but notice that you carry a lightsaber, Kala. Did you not pass trials of your own? Of course this would seem trivial to you, somebody who has had years and years to hone your craft.

SPEAKER_03 52:43

Okay, mister, my mind is so dulled.

SPEAKER_05 52:47

I I have a qu I I have a question about your wonderful students. Um, can any of them left rocks with their minds?

SPEAKER_00 52:54

Yes, telekinetic abilities are a core part of Jedi training. Most Jedi do have this ability, and it some of course are stronger than others, but uh I've yet to meet a Jedi who cannot.

SPEAKER_04 53:06

Sick. Okay, I have a question.

SPEAKER_03 53:08

Um, if your students were left without adult supervision for, let's say, 24 hours, do you think any of them could figure out how to, I don't know, just call a fucking food delivery and pay 'em? Do you because that kind of feels like the sort of practical skills?

SPEAKER_00 53:22

We are in the outer rim, Kala. This planet is uninhabited. There is no food delivery to call.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

The point is, uh Master.

SPEAKER_00 53:32

You're so angry right now.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

I'm so angry right now. The point is, Master Beck. Yes, they can lift rocks. You are trying to promote them to be in a war, to lead forces in a war.

SPEAKER_00 53:46

I understand.

SPEAKER_03 53:51

Let me talk, let me talk, Master Beck, let me talk.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

Maybe the next trial will assuage your concerns. We do have next the trial of the mind as we travel to our second location.

SPEAKER_05 54:04

Let's fucking go!

SPEAKER_03 54:05

Oh, and now we're letting this 50-year-old man take his children to a secondary location. What are we doing here? What are we doing here?

SPEAKER_02 54:16

Okay, let's see the trial of the mind. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 54:19

So uh the kids, after having some lunch with their lunch kits, uh their their yogurts and their bananas. Uh this this sack lunch bunch. Yeah. Oh. They get back aboard the ship, and uh you can join them. Your shuttle uh clamps on to the the docking ring. And Jed is very interested in observing this as well. And like, as you're leaving, he kind of like he waits until you're not looking, but you can see him hanging back, and if you listen and look carefully, you may notice him trying to do the trial of strength on his own.

SPEAKER_03 55:00

Oh does he do it very easily?

SPEAKER_06 55:05

Yes. He gets a threat, he gets a threat, he gets a threat. You have a big hammer, and you have to hit a block with it, and then the thing goes up.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

It's just a fucking carnival game.

SPEAKER_00 55:16

Yeah, so uh Jed, he gets two success and two advantage on the trial of strength. Hell yeah. Our boy. And any, like, when he finally does appear at the ship, he does seem to be walking a little bit taller.

SPEAKER_05 55:28

Hell yeah, Jed. I mean, it means nothing. But it's nice that you feel it's nice.

SPEAKER_03 55:34

Look, we'll we'll we want the world for Jed. If that makes him feel good, even after we lie to him, mostly Illyria, but you know, like Man, shut up.

SPEAKER_07 55:44

A lie of omission is nothing.

SPEAKER_05 55:46

Mostly Illyria. Mostly Illyria, but mostly Bart. But mostly Bart.

SPEAKER_07 55:51

Well, it seems like they're just making Jedi's out of anyone. I can say whatever the fuck I want.

SPEAKER_03 55:56

Hell yeah! You're free, Illyria. You're free from your lies.

SPEAKER_05 56:00

The bar has been lowered. Genuinely love how angry you guys are getting. Can you dig it? Let's see what the mind has to say.

SPEAKER_09 56:08

We're seeing the trial of the mind.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

So you can board his ship. Uh, and he says, to you welcome to the Athelia. This is a Jedi ship that is a place not only of training but of learning. And a Jedi must have a keen mind. In addition to a honed body, you must be able to discern truth from lies. You must be able to, in this time, lead, to think, to strategize. So this is the trial of the mind.

SPEAKER_05 56:38

I I I pull out- I pull out a bag of popcorn.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

Okay, let's get tried to see if this experience could be possibly any be any more trying for me. So he steps back and uh he lets his protocol droid tell this story. She begins reciting a tale of a smuggler who was uh ended up writing a memoir about his life that became a best-selling book. But the smuggler, when he was relaxing in a cantina one day, a a huge Gamorion comes up looking for him. And it seems as if this this Gamorion was one that was included in his book, and he becomes concerned that this Gamorion is potentially going to kill him. But it turns out the Gamorion actually enjoyed the fame that the book brought to him, and that he just wanted a copy of the book autographed for his sister. What? Oh, okay. And then Beck says, now we begin the trial. The first test before you are 16 tiles, and I want you to select the object that the Gamorion knocked over in order to reach the smuggler in the cantina. Now choose your tile.

unknown 58:00

What?

SPEAKER_00 58:01

Raphael, that is correct, he knocked over a chair. That is one point for the blue team. The second question: how many systems was the smuggler's book a bestseller in? Quentin, you are right, it was nine systems, that is one point for the orange team. We're both tied. Now, I want you to tell me which instrument the droid in the cantina was playing. Raphael, that is right. It was the drum, a second point for the blue team. Wait, wait, wait. Now, what was the title of the smuggler's book? Quentin, again, that's right. It was a smuggler's life. You are tied once more. Oh my god. Wait! No!

unknown 58:51

No!

SPEAKER_00 58:52

And this continues on with him asking simple questions about details from the story the droid-related.

SPEAKER_06 59:00

Man. Wait! Woman. Camera TV.

SPEAKER_02 59:06

Uh, Master, Master Jack, I gotta know how many more trials after this?

SPEAKER_00 59:10

And and Beck says that. Now this is your final question, Teams. What was the name of the smuggler's navigator droid Archie? And Sage, uh, the 14-year-old girl correctly answers Archie's name was Archie. Congratulations on Blue Team completing the trial of the mind.

SPEAKER_02 59:34

Okay. No.

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Orange team, you did very well as well. And you can return to the temple for further training. And perhaps next season when the next season dawns, you can return and attempt the trials again.

SPEAKER_05 59:52

I I I put I put my uh hand on uh Kalisat's back, and I'm just like, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 59:58

I whip around, I slap your hand off. Don't try to comfort me right now, Chris. Are you seeing the same thing that we're seeing?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:04

Oh I'm I I am saying it's I I feel as though we have we're gonna have some things to say.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:09

Master Beck? Uh hi! You said this is the trial of the mind. There are any more trials? Uh related.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:18

There is once we reach our Vala 7, we will explore the Jedi Temple there, and the Padawans will undergo the trial of the spirit. This is the most dangerous and difficult trial because it tests the Jedi's ability to resist the dark side.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:34

Is it dangerous? Is it is it dangerous? Is it dangerous? Is it dangerous? Is it dangerous? Like, is there is there a uh is there a fear that somebody may get hurt at this point? Is it is it like uh will will somebody get hurt during the uh thing of spirit if they don't do uh aren't they able to properly do this? I mean, oh no, that's no doubt about it, absolutely. I'm just wondering, like You do you, fam.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:03

I'm just I'm very interested to see what the last trial is given that the the the trial of the mind appears to have just been uh the ability to remember useless details from a story that we have recounted together. Open hearts and open minds, open hearts and open minds.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:20

So Yoda s signed off on this?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:23

Yeah, Yoda signed off on this.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Has he off this? Yeah, has he been here? Has Yoda met any of the the the Padawans that you've been promoting that he's been signing off on? Just out of curiosity.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:35

Yes, Yoda uh he actually has uh recorded a a special message for the knights once they graduate, once they are promoted. Can we see can we seize a message?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

Does okay, he recorded the message. Has he actually seen the program?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:51

Yes, he came along on on the first few voyages to make sure that this was acceptable. Okay. Can we seize the message that he gives you? Uh yes, just come come over here. We don't want it to spoil the uh when the Padawans are.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:05

Oh no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

Uh Padawans, don't look. This is spoilers.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:09

Yeah, let's take a look. Earmuffs, earmuffs.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

And he takes you into this room and he shows you uh a hologram of Yoda congratulating the new knights, and he says their names, like it's very clear that and Beck says before each each journey we get Yoda to record, uh, one for each team. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:35

Start Yoda getting in all this.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:37

Yoda has cameo?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

Whoa! Shit. You know, you just gotta pay Yoda on cameo to be well.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:48

Maybe Yoda doesn't doesn't realize what his his uh shout-outs are being used for. Yeah. Well he doesn't know, right? They just write a script for him, and he never read the terms and conditions, so he's just, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:01

Oh yeah, him and Jan are just reading off whatever they're given.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:05

Okay, let's go to the trial of the mind then.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:09

Well, no, no, you you pass this was the trial of the mind. Upcoming is the trial of the spirit.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:14

We didn't do anything. We just sat here and listened to them win the contest, which is the same as winning.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

Yeah, sorry, I just uh God, it just it just it uh yeah yeah, but trial of the spear, trial of the spear, let's keep going.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:26

Are there literal participation trophies?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:30

Yeah, it's the lightsaber you build at the end. Well guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:33

They collected the pieces of their lightsabers, but uh uh Arvalas 7 is a desert planet, as you knew during your astrogation. And the temple is kind of like built into the rock wall of a canyon. And as you guys exit, uh with the blue team, Beck says, This is the ancient Jedi Temple. Inside you will find your kyber crystals, but in order to reach them, you will have to pass a very difficult trial. First, you need to complete the summit scramble to climb up a sheer wall to reach the galaxy globe, where you'll need to work together to match the correct color combination of the flashing orbs on the control panel. Then you will slide down into the garbage masher, and you will have to work together to match your glyph triangles, which with the correct sequence to unlock the doors. A garbage masher.

unknown 1:04:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:34

How many episodes in the end of the day?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:35

And after that show did you watch? You will move into the power core chamber where you will need to deal with the slide switch, and after that you will use these holocrons after you've climbed a frigid ridge inside the temple to cross the bridge of balance and place these holocrons into the floor panel to receive your kyber crystals. But this temple is ancient, and inside dwells a dark entity, the spirit of an ancient lord that was trapped here by the heroic Jedi Knights of old, and he will tempt you. And if you are to become Jedi Knights, you must resist that temptation.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:14

Can I use perception to see how old this building is?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:17

Oh yeah, good point. Uh that would pro that probably wouldn't be perception. That would probably be like knowledge education.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:25

Hell yeah. Okay. Hell yeah, even better.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:27

That'll probably be a uh you don't have any special tools. Uh so we'll say it's uh two purple and two black.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:34

Just be able to look at it and be like, that's not how old those brooks are.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:38

What advantage.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:39

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:40

You can't tell how old it is, but you can tell that it's like it wasn't made like yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:45

Okay, so it might be like at least a temple that's here.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:49

Yeah. It seems realistically old looking.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:52

Maybe it's all fine. Maybe it's all fine.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:54

Or do you feel a dark presence?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:57

I don't have sense. Does anyone else have? I do have a side. Oh, unless um unless Chris could use like the word's foresight to be like what yeah, what's gonna happen with these kids.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:08

I would like to use words foresight to find out what's happening to these kids. Okay. Do you want to see if they'll pass their challenge? Um, yeah, and exactly how. Uh what do we roll again for that? One second. Yeah, it's just force. Just force? Okay, just one forced eye. Uh clear one light side.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:28

Okay. So with that, uh, you can gain hints about what another individual within short range is likely to do in the near future. Do you wanna use it on one of the kids? Um can I use it on um Beck? Yeah, so what kinda you can look into Beck's future.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:46

Uh I wanna I wanna know what he the f the fuck he's thinking. No. Um I wanna know. Who are you thinking Beck Like if if there's if there's a way to figure out, like if we how how do I put like uh telling the future is so weird because like I feel like right now, at this point, we're going to tell him that like we're gonna unfortunately we kind of need to shut you down unless you're able to kind of prove your prove yourself here. Um I'm wondering if we can see how he's gonna re maybe react to that so that we can figure out uh so that maybe we can figure out a way to circumvent that, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:29

Yeah. I don't think you can be that specific just with one light. Uh but what you get a sense of is that you just have a flash of like purple light. Like purple, like you get a flash of like sense of like a purple light illuminating like darkness.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:48

Hmm. Oh no, Mace Windu's gonna come here to attack us.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:53

Not again. Oh man, always Windu! I mean, when you knew Kalorin Beck as a Crash Master, he does you do know him well enough to know that he does have a purple lightsaber.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:03

Oh, so he may respond poorly.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:07

Alright, let's see how the spirit uh the spirit flies.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:10

Yeah, let's see how these kids do. Okay. Uh yes, of course. So he takes you up and he kind of shouts down to the kids, begin the trial of spirit! And they start running through their second obstacle course. Another obstacle course! And it seems to be pretty easy, but it is fairly dark in there. Uh there is a lot that has to do with like turning on lights and stuff, and it seems like the puzzles are not super frustrating, but you notice they do kind of start bickering with each other as they're going through the trial. They're not like cooperating as well as they were. And they're moving through and they get to the part uh where they like they slide down the quote-unquote garbage masher, which seems to be full of like foam blocks, and they have to open a door by aligning these panels. And they're separated by a wall, and they're like having trouble communicating. They start shouting like back and forth at each other, and the girl goes over somewhere, she like picks up a loose stone and just like smashes part of the temple with it, and her door opens. And Beck is like, he he has this like look on his face where it's like not that's a like kind of like a oh no, she she's she's failing the test sort of thing. And eventually, like, she s she goes to the the other door, she smashes the panel to open to let this other boy, this little 12-year-old boy Raphael out. The door opens, and she just smashes them in the face with the rock over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:00

Oh my god! Oh my god!

SPEAKER_00 1:10:03

Um Are you gonna intervene? Uh Beck? What you uh foresaw happens. Beck ignites his lightsaber and jumps off of the observation walkway down into the trial area. Um, is he gonna kill that kid? And you can hear him shout, Sage, this isn't you. This is the dark side. Remember, Sage, you have to resist the dark side. And you can see her like raise her hand and she starts trying to pull the lightsaber out of his hand. And his grip, he seems to be having trouble maintaining a like control of it. It may be that this entity in here, whatever it is, is empowering her beyond her 14-year-old youngling abilities.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:49

Oh my god, can I cast suppress on her?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:51

Yeah. Are you within range?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:53

How far away would we be up on the walkway?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:56

From where he's running, it would probably be like long range.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:59

Yeah, I can get to long range.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:00

Yeah. But suppressed. Because if you guys want to climb down there as well, you could.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:04

Yeah, let's maybe fucking climb down there real right quick. I'll get suppress on and commit that as quick as I can, though, because holy fuck! Two light side, one dark side. Okay, good. So you can dampen.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:15

If I would have if I would have wards foresight and uh one of the kids, I probably would have seen this coming. Alright. So you can dampen the effect of the force.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:23

Yeah, I'll commit that. So I can have one to add automatic uh failure to force power checks, one to extend that to long range, and then I have control commit, so it's also uh reduces the total number of pips generated by one when they're committed.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:41

And you can see that Beck doesn't have to struggle as much anymore with his lightsaber, that he can maintain control of it. And then there's just like a flash in a spite, and he just slices right through her.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:55

Jesus! Woo!

SPEAKER_00 1:11:59

He turns around and like he checks Raphael and he like you know closes his eyes with his fingers. He's obviously dead, and he pulls out his comm link and he says, 83, let's have Quentin and Braden try.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:16

No, let's not have Quentin and Braden try. What the fuck are you thinking? Oh no, no, let's not have Quentin and Braden try.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:22

Like I said, this is a dangerous trial, and a Jedi has to be able to resist the pull of the dark side.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:28

The not Jedi. The kids.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:31

Well, obviously they weren't cut out for it.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:33

Why did uh uh uh uh uh why did uh I I don't think we uh uh went through this when we were when we were young.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:44

It's an accelerated curriculum.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:46

Oh yeah, yeah. Because you know how like most Jedi, you have most Jedi and like most loving things, you eventually die. We're really fucking accelerating that lifetime line, aren't we?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:56

I also have a question. Um, is the are people that are more in line with the force more c uh more susceptible to be taken over by the dark side? Because that feels that feels like that would be the case.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:07

This temple was a prison for the life force of an ancient dark lord, and it has proved to be a useful training ground to compress a lifetime of exposure to the dark side into five to ten minutes. Now, not every Jedi is gonna be able to overcome that, but those who do are worthy of knighthood, and well, two out of every six younglings generally can do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:33

So one third of every youngling can do it. That's that's how many kids have you had to kill?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:40

Well, I haven't killed most of them, and that doesn't answer my fucking question.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:48

Yeah, they've mostly killed each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

This is why they do their trial in pairs. These connections that they have need to be overcome. Well, attachment is a can be very dangerous to a Jedi.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:00

So were these the the ones that were just friends, not the siblings or I don't remember this.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:08

Oh they came in second during the trial of the mind.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:11

They came in second. Did these guys come in first? Sorry, I lost my accent for a second. Did these guys come in first?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:18

Yes. Uh Sage and Raphael, they won the trial of the mind, and they had the right for their first attempt at the trial of the spirit, but they failed, and now it is the orange team's turn, and if they fail, then the purple team will have their chance.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:34

So do you let them know what happened before you invite them in here for their turn?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:38

Yes, they will be made aware of the consequences. Facing death is necessary for every Jedi.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:43

Okay, how exactly you plan to phrase that? Is it just gonna be like the last one's failed your turn now?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:48

Well, we can return to the entrance and you can see.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:51

Question, if they don't if they refuse, can they not do this and then just not become a z a Jedi? That is their choice. Alright, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:02

But they no no no no no, we don't guess. Because the kids, they don't have any other way of understanding exactly what the fuck is happening, what the fuck then?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:10

I'm still I'm still trying to wrap my head uh my head around it. That's uh it's a little it's a it's a lot of information that you put on us, Doc.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:17

Kala's just whistling like in a stressed-out tea kettle, just like, ooh.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:23

Have any of the droids come in here?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:26

Um, the AstraMac droid comes in to clean the bloodstains off the floor from where the kid was bashing with the rock, and the protocol droid starts dragging the bodies away.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:37

Oh, would it have recordings of this that we can uh bring back to Could we be recording this?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:46

Z is a uh well, those people aren't gonna uh see the victory videos.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:51

No, unfortunately they won't. Now let's return to the entrance so we can have our uh next try.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:56

Imagine imagine your death being broadcast on YouTube of all places.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:01

Oh god, embarrassing.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:02

These deaths weren't significant enough for Disney Plus. We're putting it direct to YouTube. We're direct to YouTube.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:09

We've the reason why we found out about this and became aware of this and being told sent to investigate because all the people you put through this have ended out are fucking dead.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:17

Oh I am so If it were easy to be a Jedi, everyone would be one. You're making it really, really easy to be a Jedi right now. You're making it insanely fucking easy.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:31

Kala, two children are dead. Yeah, two children are dead.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:36

That's part of the problem. I don't think he trains them all. You said one third of them died.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:41

She was possessed by the dark architecture.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:47

They shouldn't be here without being trained!

SPEAKER_00 1:16:49

That is the purpose of the trial, to train them and prepare them.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:53

That's not her books. Oh yeah, because telling them what what's Archie's name? Oh, it's Archie! Now go kill each other.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:02

Like, Kilred!

SPEAKER_06 1:17:04

That escalated quickly.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:06

Like I just Oh, oh, oh!

SPEAKER_00 1:17:10

So he's he's returning to the entrance of the temple.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:13

No, no, we he can't put those kids through. They can't put those kids. Can we arrest this guy?

SPEAKER_07 1:17:18

I know he killed most of the other people that we've uh been sent out to. Can we arr- I feel like we need to take this guy back.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:25

We need to arrest Olivet Best. Death is too good for this guy. Can we call it in now? Can we call it in now?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:33

He needs to face trials! He needs to go on trial for what the fuck he's doing.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:37

What do you mean call it in? Are we calling for backup? I mean call it.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:42

We're we're we're we're we're tell we're telling him to we're we're b uh sent here to investigate it.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:48

I feel as we just let Jed do this trial.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:51

We could, you know, at this point, uh kill him and and just feel like that was that that takes there that.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:57

I feel like I want him to face to like he just killed a kid. Like I feel like I want him to have to stand and on trial for what the fuck he's doing.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:10

A jury of his peers.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:12

But not because then they're just gonna have Jedi and they're all gonna be like, ends justify the means.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:17

This feels like it seems the right thing to do at the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:20

What do we say? Are we gonna try to place this guy under arrest? I feel like we gotta. Master Kalavan! You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop right now. I hate to do this, Mala Kalin.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:29

Galaxy is in dire need of Jedi Knights, Kala.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:32

The galaxy's in dire need of sane-minded people training up the people who are gonna be leading our troops. Master Calavin's.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:43

Oh. And he starts heading back to the entrance of the temple. You will not be deterred by this. The children come down the landing ramp of the ship. And he says, Unfortunately, the blue team did not pass their trials. Sage succumbed to the dark side, murdered Raphael in cold blood, and I was forced to eliminate the darkness within her, and unfortunately, she passed as well. Oh no, she attacked me. Now, Quentin and Braden, if you wish to proceed, you may attempt the trial of the spirit, but of course you know what lies ahead. Do you wish to become Jedi Knights? And these two kids, they nod and they say, We wish to serve the Jedi above all. We will banish darkness from the galaxy.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:31

What's that what's that word? Uh in indoctrination, I believe is the word is.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:38

This is what this is what Grey was talking about. This is what Grey was talking about. This is what Grey was talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:44

Oh and Calorin, he says, purple team, and the two 11-year-old girls say in unison, we must secure the existence of the Jedi and a future for Jedi children.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:56

Oh no.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:58

No. What color are their robes? Prussian blue? They're the purple team.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:06

They're wearing purple robes. Look what she's wearing. It's purple. That's uh can we can we s can we stop them at all? Who has move again?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:16

No, none of us.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:17

Anakin does not want to move. Anakin wear you when we need you.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:22

You're right, Starzan, you need to buy move. You should do it right now. That's me. I have real muscles. I can use move things with my real body.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:29

I can move things with my m with my body m mind.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:32

Yeah. And as you guys are kind of talking about this, you hear you see Jed kind of poking his head out, and he's like, ps, ps.

unknown 1:20:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:40

And he kind of like calls you up into the ship. Okay. Hi, Jed. And as you are called up into the ship, uh, Calorin takes the orange team into the temple.

unknown 1:20:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:49

And Jed says, um, so well, I don't know what went on in there, but while you were in there, I got a uh priority message from the Chancellor.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:57

Uh kind of what kind of message did you get? Well, it seems he's been attacked.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:02

Oh I don't know all the details, but from the sounds of things, uh, Mace Windu and a number of Jedi. Uh well, General Grievous is dead. That's the good news. Bad news is. What?

SPEAKER_03 1:21:16

Will you take the winds where we get 'em? Take 'em where we get 'em.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:19

But uh the bad news is after that happened, it seems that Mace Windu and some other Jedi went to try and assassinate the Chancellor. It seems there was some type of coup. Uh the Chancellor survived. Thankfully, uh, Anakin was there to save him. We know we can always trust him. And the Chancellor has authorized uh the activation of contingency order number sixty-six. Now, uh I know they're accused of. Do we know what that is? Uh you know what the fuck that is. Yeah. Okay, just making sure. Uh you you you knew about it uh when you discovered when um Hallan was using Order 64 against you. Okay, yeah, no, that's fair. I guess that's fair. Now there are children here. Are they exempt?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:03

These children?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:04

I defer to you in this case. I uh A good soldier follows orders, but you need to give me the orders.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:10

Oh, what do you guys think?

SPEAKER_05 1:22:11

No, they're they they seem exempt. They seem very exempt.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:16

Do they they seem pretty indoctrinated?

SPEAKER_05 1:22:19

Um, we could probably uh really we're killing all uh we're we're doing si Order 66? That feels like a lot. That's that's that's big news.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:30

Chris! Look at this! Look at what is happening here!

SPEAKER_05 1:22:34

No, no, no, no, I I get that, but like there's a lot happening here.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:39

There's a lot happening. The thing the thing that he said meets Windu at like trying to kill Palpatine, like that is the vision you saw. That is what all of your fourth visions have been pointing at. Like, it happened.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:51

Uh, I I may need to d I may need to take a moment or two to digest everything, cause a lot is happening at this moment, and uh my brain is too uh uh holy to be able to withhold it.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:06

You know, like just maybe you know.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:09

I'm sorry I can't be on on at all times, GalaSet. I am going through a wild roller coaster of emotions.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:18

That's fine, Chris. Go have a panic attack in the corner. We all need to do that some uh times. Starzan and Elyria. I'm you know, I guess right now I'm kinda thinking about what Jed said. Where uh, you know, Yoda's been in charge of Jed on the.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:33

Are we gonna kill these kids?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:35

Look, Chris, either you're having a panic attack or you're not.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:38

Oh no, that wasn't that wasn't Chris, that was me.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:43

I'm not saying we have to kill the kids, but we gotta at least kill Kalorin, and then we can gauge our response based on how the kids react. How about that?

SPEAKER_06 1:23:52

Kids just all attack us in unison.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:53

If the kids all attack us in unison, then we gotta do what we gotta do. If we kill Kalorin and they're like, oh, what's happening? Like, uh okay, maybe we can They get out of the moment, but we gotta kill Kelorin at least.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:03

Would you rather kill one Ahmed Best sized Jedi or ten kid Jedi's?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:09

Of ten child-sized Ahmed bests.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:14

We gotta take out Kalorin first. That's first order of business, regardless.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:18

Let's let's think of is there some creative force power ways to get around safely securing the children. Like you heard what that one was saying, right? Does somebody have a perhaps Betty Bite power? I have a drug. Wait a minute. Do you have any kind of Betty Bite drug?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:36

Me? I do not have the drugs that I have. Yeah, the drugs that I have are not putting you to sleep.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:44

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:45

I uh I have suppress for the force, which I'm just gonna keep activating because I feel like we might need that for taking out Kellarin.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:54

Probably need it, yeah. Please go quietly, please go quietly. They die now? They die now.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:00

Yeah, let's go kill Ahmed Best. Let's go k kill Keller. Actually, okay, he's walking away from us with the kids.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:07

Yeah, as you've uh been inside, he and the orange team have gone inside the temple as you've been trying to figure out what to do and learning what's happened from Jed.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:18

Okay, so we'd have to re-enter the temple to be able to see him.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:22

Okay, because I'm keeping my suppress on, and it's like, got my gun! I shot Dooku with my suppress going. Get him. Yeah, let's go back in the temple. Let's be ready to kill. And yeah, Jed, we're gonna it we'll we're gonna see how the kids react to us killing Beck and um Beck, he's a loser, baby, so why don't you kill him? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:48

So, uh, you can leave the Athelia and the purple team kids aren't out there, the droids aren't out there. And j as you go through the temple, do you wanna go through do you wanna like take the observation walkway, or do you want to go like through the actual obstacle course?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:06

What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_05 1:26:07

I go I'll go through the obstacle course again.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:10

Because like if Kellerin's up on the observation walkway, unless we want to split up, it always works so good.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:17

Take on one unhead vest and a bunch of children. How many children?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:22

Um f well, four are alive.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:25

Oh, we got this. Well, depends on if the next ones actually got through their trial. That's true.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:32

They could just be dead and then we're even better off. Even better off. I mean, you know sad. What a way to put that. We'll be sad. We don't have to kill them ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:41

Yeah, maybe I'll go up to the observation walkway and see if I can just line up a shot on uh Kelleran without him noticing. Jesus Christ's fing. Look. So we can climb up. Maybe the Jedi just need a fucking end, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:53

Observation walkway. He's not up there.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:54

He's not? No.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:56

Well, this gives me a better vantage point, anyways. Where is he? You can run to the end. And you can just catch the tail end of like the orange team and the purple team like going through this door. Uh that is that you can't kind of see or reach from the walkway.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:16

And oh god, I have to go back down anyways. Unless someone else wants to open the door and I can see if I can aim through it from up here.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:23

Someone else want to open the door, open the cage, let the animals out.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:26

Uh open the door, get on the floor.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:29

Everybody do the dinosaur?

SPEAKER_03 1:27:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:30

Oh my god. Done it. That that's a blast from the past. Yeah, if you if you want somebody to open the door.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:36

If you want so if you if you want somebody to open the door, I can open the door for you. Open the door, open the door.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:41

Sure, because I'm up on the observation walkway. I might as well see if I could get a shot from up here without having to come down.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:47

And if you don't, I will physical my way through the door.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:50

Yeah, you'll get physical. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:51

So Kala waiting up on the walkway. The rest of you can go down, open the door through which the other kids went, and And when you open it, you can see the two orange team members, Quentin and Braden, holding aloft lightsabers. As Calorin says, by the right of the council, by the will of the force, you are Jedi Knights. And he presses play on the little hologram, and Yoda congratulates them. What happened to the purple team? The purple team are standing off to the side clapping.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:27

When they open it, am I able to see through the door from the observation walkway? Not far enough to get a shot of. Damn. Guess I'll try to go back down.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:37

Ugh. You can still like hang out back in sort of the last room of the challenge in the temple.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:45

Yeah, because it's like, are there any interior walls that I could maybe stand on top of if it's like this is kind of open enough that you could see it via an observation walkway?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:55

Well, the observation walkway, it seems like it was just built for this temple challenge area. So it doesn't extend beyond.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:03

Yeah, I'll I'll see if I can hang out a little bit further back.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:08

Those of you who are on the ground, there is sunlight filtering through from the ceiling. So there may be like some cracks and crevices. Cal, if you want to give me a coordination, you may be able to actually climb out of the temple and get to wherever the sunlight is filtering through.

SPEAKER_08 1:29:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:25

So give me a three purple and a black coordination, because you also have like your gun and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:36

She says that she doesn't succeed.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:39

You know, I don't need this as right. Are you having a panic attack?

SPEAKER_05 1:29:44

I'm sorry. No, that wasn't Chris saying that no, I'm just gonna.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:48

You No no no no no. You can't make it all the way out, but you can kind of find a crack you can squeeze through that would allow you to kind of like, if you could somehow cut through the rock, like it would allow you to get the drop on somebody.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:05

Oh, I got my little light dagger. I cut a hole. Yeah, I'll I'll cut uh I'll cut some a bigger gap in the rock so I can uh be ready for an ambush. Be ready to surprise.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:17

And after the two children are knighted, Calorin, he turns to the three of you there, and he says, Would you like to congratulate our newest Jedi Knights?

SPEAKER_05 1:30:29

Congratulations. Uh that was a very uh good job you've done there.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:36

Wait, uh is the right thing to do to make ourselves Jedi Knights before we go.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:42

Should we Should we just give this information back to the And and Jed is there?

SPEAKER_00 1:30:47

He's gripping his vibroblade very tightly, like he's waiting for the order.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:52

Because like what what is the layout that we're looking at here? I'm just trying to visualize this in my head for like uh when this combat gets started.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:00

So it is a kind of small stone chamber that seems to be carved into the rock. Uh there it's it's sort of like a round chamber. There is a slab at one end that seems to be like where the lightsabers were built and where they were uh knighted from. And Beck is kind of standing next to the slab, the droids are on the other side of the slab, and the two boys are standing in front of the door with their backs to it. And where am I relative to this? You are up above, there is like a small crevice in the rocks that is not quite enough for you to stick your gun through.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:42

Is that the one that I could use my light dagger to open up?

SPEAKER_00 1:31:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:46

Because if I use that, would I be able to get a shot on Kalorin?

SPEAKER_00 1:31:49

Um, not at the same time, because like obviously like cutting through would be that would attract a lot of attention. What at the What, cutting through a big rock with a lightsaber? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:01

Can we all just start clapping and saying, Congratulations! Like it's a good one. Yeah, cause a distraction.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:08

Congratulations! Yeah, clap and cheer real loudly while I open up this rock. Everyone's heads explode.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:14

Yes, congratulations. Woohoo! You've done it.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:18

We know that Kala is the most comfortable with doing assassinations. You guys clap and cheer.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:24

Okay. I'm at best just think of the rabbits. And uh we'll be out of here in a few minutes.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:28

If everyone else claps and cheers, would I be able to open up this uh this gap without them noticing?

SPEAKER_00 1:32:34

It'll be against his vigilance.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:41

Uh one yellow, three green.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:43

Okay. That'll be a red and three purples, but because you are cutting through rock with a lightsaber, uh, that's gonna add some blues onto his roll. I mean, we used to start with a lot of light side. Could I flip one against him? Yeah, what do you want to do with that?

SPEAKER_03 1:32:59

To upgrade the roll. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:01

Um, and you are clapping, so that'll add some black as well. Congratulations!

SPEAKER_04 1:33:06

Yeah! Congratulations. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:11

I'm making a note here. Huge success.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:14

That's actually very relevant, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:16

Ooh. A failure with three advantages. Ooh. So he doesn't notice, but as like you're cutting through the rock, carving just enough of it to be able to stick your gun through, he hands the robes to the Jedi kids to put them on their new Jedi robes, and that he's just now out of where you'd be able to point your gun to be able to hit him. Son of a bitch. These force powers are too strong for us. You could probably hit one of the kids though.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:50

Oh, I don't want to hit the- I really want to at least give the kids who are like turn into Jedi Knights the opportunity to be like, you put down the lightsabers and walk away. And you don't have to die, but like, I don't want to have to do it.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:04

You know they're not gonna do that now.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:06

I know well you kill the kids then, Elyria.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:09

Like It seems like you're really gung-ho about it, honestly. I don't want to call a kid.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:15

No, I'm bombed. You seem pretty psyched.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:20

You have such look in your eye, like I want to kill some kids.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:23

Like, okay, so either someone else po either someone else lights this candle, or like maybe try to uh guide him back into my scope. I mean, Jed's there. Jed's there, but it's like.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:36

Jed's been given the order.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:38

But it's like, his whole thing is that he loves the Jedi.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:42

That's probably why he hasn't fired already.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:45

I know, I don't want him to have to do this. I don't have to do this. I'll do it. I'll pop someone's head. Not your first rodeo. It's not my first time doing a an assassination. Doing a pop? Not my first time doing a pop pop.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:00

If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world doesn't change. Yes, it does. I've killed a lot of killers. Goes down every time I do it. They just end up killing less people. Yeah. Yeah. You're bad at math.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:14

But as Kaliset. I've killed so many killers, man. Like after he gives the robes to the kids, does he kind of stay by them or does he kinda like return to uh where he was?

SPEAKER_00 1:35:26

Well, they are gonna leave to go up the temple, but they're the the other guys are like standing right in front of the door, and he says, Could you uh step out of the way, please?

SPEAKER_03 1:35:36

Either one of you guys do it, or I got him back into my sights, you call. Wish we just just hold him.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:42

I mean in the name of the SBI, we can't let this we can't sanction this bullshit.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:48

I will not sanction your buffoonery. Perfect. So what are you gonna do? Do we line up?

SPEAKER_07 1:35:54

You're under arrest!

SPEAKER_06 1:35:56

There we go. Oh, we're gonna we're gonna do the uh the Jack Ruby walk, okay. For what? Can't cover him.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:02

Uh murdering children?

SPEAKER_00 1:36:04

I didn't. I saved these Jedi from a dark presence.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:11

I mean you could have used like a st- Are you sure about that? I mean you could have used a stun.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:17

Sorry, sir, uh if I may. The problem is that the curriculums that you have here, the trials that you have, are both inconsistent and uh it feeling incomplete. Like I know that you cut some corners, but you cut a lot of cor a lot of corners. You've cut so many corners.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:41

Also, I I I didn't want to be the first one to say it, but that that tiny little doll that's dressed like you that rides around in a unicycle is really upsetting me.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:49

Uh Starzan, you gotta put a nickel in the pronoun jar.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:52

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:53

Upsetting Starzan.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:54

Starzan doesn't Fuck. Okay, let's try that again.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:57

Take two.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:58

Anything, I actually start calling you out. I know it may seem strange to ones such as yourselves, but perhaps if you had remained with the Jedi, you would understand the vision that I have.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:13

God, please tell me he's back you up and tell me he I'll just get him in my sights. Please tell me he's moving in some way where I can fucking shoot him.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:20

Can I roll a charm can I roll a charm to see if I can charm into a charm him to the right place? Yeah. Yeah. Keep him talking. Yeah. Maybe maybe at the maybe at this point he starts pacing while expanding himself.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:33

Uh two red and a black, because he's starting to uh not really like you guys.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:38

Well, fuck you too, asshole. Uh I could take away that black at least. That one, I'm sure I can take away anymore. Uh two red and a black? Yeah. Three success.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:48

Okay, so yeah. You can uh charm him and sort of guide him back to somewhere where Kala could shoot him. I Kala, roll me. This is irresponsible. A cool? Yeah. Against two reds and two purples.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:04

Fuck, my cool sucks. Two reds, two purple.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:07

What do we have for left for destiny? I don't think we've really used any. Yeah, you've got a lot. Um you know what? I'll flip one to upgrade, get a rank and cool. Four failure, one threat.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:20

So you can stick your gun out through the rock, and just before you're about to pull the trigger, Kalorin turns around and he sees you, and he holds out his hand, and your gun comes flying out of your grip through the hole in the rock and into his. Uh-uh-uh. Damn it.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:38

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I've had suppressed committed. Does he? Can he? Okay, let me let's roll that then. Yeah. Uh-uh! You didn't do the magic room. I kept it committed. I was looking at my force rating on the range, and I was like, no, I can't use it because I kept it committed.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:56

He'll have to roll his discipline.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:58

So he rolls five success, two threats, four lights. Fuck.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:04

Well, we could probably take away some of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:06

Yeah, that is still enough to pull the gun out of your hand. These kids probably, like, they've got like force rating one. So you'll definitely still be able to dampen them if it comes to it. Well, fuck. That was my move. But he the gun goes into his hand. And he says, Why were you trying to kill me? Uh, light the candle, guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:27

One of you is gonna light the half a cand light the candle.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:29

Starzan, get him. Where is this candle?

SPEAKER_03 1:39:33

Yeah, j just fucking kill him. I don't have my gun.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:36

Use the candle.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:38

Candle, yeah, I'll just like um smash him, I suppose. Starzan smash. Starzan smash. How close is he?

SPEAKER_07 1:39:46

I said you're under arrest, so he was technically resisting. So use force.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:52

The first ones who are gonna go are the two purple team girls.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:57

Oh girls, just run away. Please just run away. You didn't even win. You're not Jedi Knights.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:02

Uh they're gonna try and force push you guys out of the way of the door.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:09

Oh, girls, come on. You're being suppressed. You're not gonna be able to do jack shit. Girls. Ugh.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:17

So the first one gets uh two darks.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:22

No, she doesn't. Yeah, she does not get two darks. She does not get two.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:27

So they throw out their hands in unison to try and push you guys out of the way of the door. They can't do it. They look to Kaloran like for any kind of help, but before he can provide that help, one of you will have a chance to act. Well, may I? You may. So he's got two adversary. So after closing in on him, that'll be a two red with your you're using your lightsaber?

SPEAKER_06 1:40:53

Yes. You're gonna flip a destiny. One success, four advantage. I believe four advantage would be a crit.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:00

So you can rush at him, swinging, striking at him. He is going to parry. So he's gonna suffer three strain to reduce the damage by seven. Oh shit. Yeah, so in a flash, purple lightsaber activates and he parries your blow. Like you can swipe, he parries, and you just like slice through part of his cloak.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:24

Hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:26

And he says, you're making a mistake. These kids are the future of the Jedi. God help us all.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:32

I mean, if the statistics are right, these children are the future of the Jedi for about one month.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:38

Sorry about this, Starzan. You're not preparing them properly. You keep th thinking what you're doing is is right, but really you're just throwing them out for cannon fodder. Can I charm him?

SPEAKER_00 1:41:50

Um You're you're shouting at him? Uh since it's not your turn, uh you wouldn't be able to wait. Yeah. Well, we'll say we can add a black onto him if you're shouting this at him trying to distract him.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:59

Uh, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:01

So he's going to attack Starzan then. That seems fair. Starzan, you've got some melee defense, so that's gonna add another black onto his roll. Yeah, he does. Uh, and because you are within melee, you are kind of engaged range with him, he is going to take two more strain, and he is going to try and make a precise attack, so he's gonna add two blue from aiming. Five success. Doesn't seem good, does it? So, Starzan, you take 15 points of wound.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:30

Ooh!

SPEAKER_03 1:42:32

Ooh!

SPEAKER_06 1:42:32

Oh, well, I'm at one wound. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:35

That's great. Damn. Cause he's like try like using his lightsaber to attack Starzan. How tight is his grip on my gun, and would anyone be able to throw it back to me?

SPEAKER_00 1:42:46

Uh, that would be an athletics roll to pull it out of his out of his hand. Because he's like one-handing the lightsaber, and then he's kind of just got your rifle in the other.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:55

Uh, how far away from him am I?

SPEAKER_00 1:42:57

You would have to squeeze through that crack.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:59

I mean, I'm pretty little. You've you've squeezed through a lot. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:03

This would this would count as difficult terrain, so you would need to use two maneuvers to squeeze through the crack and take some strain.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:09

Ugh, damn. Okay, but if I squeeze through the crack and then someone tossed the lightsaber to me. Or not lightsaber. My gun? Uh it's both of us. I I have a pretty I think I have a pretty good throw. What's everyone's brawn? Three. Oh, you got three?

SPEAKER_05 1:43:26

I'm at two, so it's gonna have to not not be me.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:29

Yeah, I will say this would be a roll against uh his brawn, so it would be a three purple athletics. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:35

Ah! Okay. It's gonna be evenly matched.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:38

Yeah, we still got a lot of destiny.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:41

Four success two threats. Give me that.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:46

So, yeah, you can pull the uh the rifle out of his grip, but as you do, you got those threats, so you can't really throw it, and you come face to face with one of the quote-unquote Jedi knights with Brayden. Oh, Braden. Kala, do you want to use your turn, even though you can't use can't get the uh thing, or do you want uh Chris or Jed to go instead?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:10

Maybe I'll let Chris or Jed go just so because I wouldn't be able to do anything. I would only be able to wriggle through the crack.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:18

Um who uh where is everybody right now? So you're all in this uh kind of knighting room, uh, which is like this round stone chamber. Kala is up sort of more in the ceiling. There's a small crack that she was trying to fit through. You guys are sort of clustered near the door, though Kalorin and Starzan are back a little bit further because uh he moved into Kala's line of sight a little bit. Let's um it is it is quite cramped.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:52

Okay. I I I am going to roll uh my awards foresight to kind of prepare myself for the future. Okay. Too dark side. Too dark side. Are you gonna use them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't used dark side yet, but I feel like we're getting a real dark side, uh, dark side matter here, so yeah, let's use them.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:15

Things got dark.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:16

Let's use them.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:17

So dark's on this.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:18

Uh Chris, why don't you just roll me a two-purple discipline real quick? Well, fucking sure. Uh success and advantage. Okay, yeah. So you know that there's a dark entity in here. It is empowering you. So you can shrug it off. You can draw on the dark energy of this temple. Uh so since you got those two darks, you can add an additional dark to your results. And at least, but every time you use the dark side, you're gonna have to roll a two-purple discipline to avoid being taken over by the spirit. You can use a little dark side as a treat. Yeah. As a treat. And if you manage to resist, you get an extra dark side pip. So you've actually got three to spend. I got three dark side pips to spend? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:02

So. So with three, you can spend one to use the power and two to add the blue onto somebody who's gonna attack them.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:10

Okay, so uh whoever's next, I'm gonna add a blue.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:14

That will be you, your next check against them. Because you're seeing the future. Okay, alright. Uh so you'll get a blue if you want to attack him. Uh, and you can sort of see that Beck, like, he knows that Starzan is the biggest, so you can see that Beck is going to continue to focus on Starzan, and you might be able to use that against him.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:36

Biggest and also the deadest. Does anyone have uh some healing health?

SPEAKER_00 1:46:39

Yeah, he's gonna try and remove him quickly.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:41

That'd be great.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:42

So the next ones to go. So you were looking into Kalorin's future. He's gonna continue working on Starzan. You weren't looking into Quentin and Braden's futures. Chris, they're going to attack you. They can tell that you're doing something. They may have gotten a flash of you drawing on the dark side. I don't like that. So uh they're going to they've got their brand new lightsabers out, and they're gonna try and uh do violence unto you. Well, tell them to fuck off. I don't want no violence. Uh so Braden gets three successes. So Braden hits you for nine. Yeah, that sucks.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:24

It it goes through my soap, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:47:25

Yeah. Yep. Quentin, a failure with two advantages. So Braden slashes at you. Quentin, he tries to follow up, but he doesn't quite hit. He misses, but it's still he's got his lightsaber pointed at you. So with those two advantages, you're gonna have a black on your next roll because he's trying to like keep you back.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:48

I guess I'll try to wriggle through that crack.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:51

Okay, so you can crack. You can take two strain and use both your maneuvers to wriggle through the crack.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:56

Is I don't suppose Elyria's close enough that I could just get a handoff from the for the gun, is it? It's a very long gun. Since if you point the muzzle at me, I can grab it by that.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:07

Since the two Jedi Knights started to go after Chris, yeah, there's nothing blocking anymore.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:13

Ugh, Illyria, give me my gun, give me my gun, give me my gun.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:16

You can grab the gun from Illyria.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:18

I'll try to get a shot off on Kelorin. What's that gonna be? Ranged heavy. No force to be added. I have Prescient Shot, that adds one blue. And then I have accurate two, that adds two more blue.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:34

Yeah. So uh you would be at short range. He's got two adversaries, so that's a red and a purple. He's got defense, so that adds a black.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:41

Okay. And what do we have for Destiny? You have four. I'm gonna flip one, I'm gonna upgrade. I'm gonna get another yellow. Ooh, let's see. Come on, we can do uh we can do a dooku again. Hmm. Well, one success, five advantage.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:58

He does have reflect.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:59

He's so engaged with starzans though.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:02

He's he's entranced by my muscles. Yeah, he can still use reflect. It's just a uh So he's gonna suffer three strain to reduce the damage by seven.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:15

By seven? Fuck you. Whittle him down.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:19

You can graze, your bullet grazes him. He is still a Jedi master.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:24

Fucking Jedi Garden teacher, you had to get in the dirt!

SPEAKER_00 1:49:28

Uh, Jed with his vibroblade.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:31

Jed, baby, I think you should probably uh well, we'll see. We'll see what he does.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:36

Jed's been training.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:38

I bet he has.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:40

He gets two advantages. So Jed takes out his Vibroblade, which has been heavily modified during the course of the war. He's got cortosis inlays, he's got like just up the wazoo. Uh he's able to get two advantages, which is able to mitigate the advantages. Of the Jedi that was attacking Chris. So he's just able to like start engaging him Vibrablade to lightsaber his strikes. Can't touch the lightsaber for too long, but uh they are enough to go toe-to-toe with this child, so that Chris uh you will not have the black on your next action.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:20

Okay. I'm okay with not having a black.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:23

And Kalorin gets his end of round turn. As prophesied, he continues to attack Starzan.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:29

Come on, miss.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:32

Miss. That's me.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:34

Here's a William to miss. Remember what you were saying about willing things to happen a certain way, and then they do?

SPEAKER_03 1:50:40

Yeah, manifest, manifest. Failure.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:43

Hey, I learned the secret. And a triumph.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:47

Oh well.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:48

Still a failure if he didn't hit you.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:50

I kinda knew that was coming.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:52

And Chris, I kinda knew that was coming. Well look, Starzai manifested that he would have missed, okay?

SPEAKER_06 1:50:57

Then he like hits a rock above my head that kills me.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:01

So although he doesn't hit you, he's able to like control he's can he is a Jedi Master. He you are just a very muscular guy who maybe hasn't kept up with his lightsaber training as much as he could have. He is controlling this fight. So he's gonna use uh these two advantages to uh add a black to your next roll. Okay. And he's going to use his triumph to upgrade the difficulty of your next roll. Okay. So it'll be even harder to hit him. Uh but now we're back at the top.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:33

Can someone heal me?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:34

Now it's back to the two uh child pathons. Together, uh, they are going to try and tackle Jed to the ground. They're gonna use their athletics. Gonna add some assistance there against uh call it a brawl. Three success and an advantage. So these two kids manage to tackle Jed down to the ground. Oh no. So he'll have to uh fight his way out. He'll probably end up stabbing them. Oh uh, but one of you can go next.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:05

I may as well use my uh my turn here to uh aim my variable blaster at full power at Jed. Or at back. Sorry, not Jed. Sorry, not back. Put him out of the way. Put him out of a turn. Put him out of his fucking misery. He's done. Okay. We're through.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:32

Alright, so that'll be two red and a black. Two red and a black. Um guys do have three. How many Destiny plays we got?

SPEAKER_05 1:52:38

I'm gonna flip one. You get to add your blue. I got two success and four advantage. Ooh. So that that isn't that isn't that really uh uh critical.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:50

Okay. Yeah, so he can he can reflect away uh most of that damage, but uh if you want to roll your crit. Let's roll my crit. Christ. Four.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:02

Minor Nick, he suffers one strain. Okay, well, I mean, I'm so angry right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:08

Oh, that's my that's my turn. After being turned back by Jed, uh Braydon is gonna go and try and attack Illyria. Because he was you did kind of run into him, so he's gonna try and go back to you, Alyria, to attack you. Loyalty. A threat?

SPEAKER_07 1:53:27

Yay! Everything's coming up, Alyria.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:30

Hell yeah. We got light sides, remember? This is a light episode about killing children.

unknown 1:53:35

Yeah!

SPEAKER_03 1:53:36

Finally, we're doing good!

SPEAKER_00 1:53:38

So, uh, he's gonna take some strain. He's rival level, so he doesn't have strain, so he takes it as a wound. Oh Brayden is not good with a lightsaber, he kinda nicks himself with it. Oh, Braden. Oh, sweetie. He's 12.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:52

Oh, yeah. I am 12, what is this? Maybe he'll just accidentally kill himself and then we won't have to kill him. Hey, uh, so taking impact, is that a maneuver?

SPEAKER_07 1:54:01

Or can I do that as a drugs to kill these kids?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:05

You just like pop a line as a Yeah, God, would you allow me to to uh dote myself up as an incidental?

SPEAKER_00 1:54:13

Not as an incidental. Uh, maneuver. Interacting with the environment is a maneuver. Managing your gear is a maneuver. Um however, like using a stim pack is an action. So I'm gonna say taking drugs would be similar to using a stim pack.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:28

No!

SPEAKER_06 1:54:28

At some point we gotta get you like a um Fury Road mask that just goes over your face.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:35

You gotta you gotta like find a surface, you gotta like chop it up with your credit card, it's a whole thing. Exactly. Gotta get it into lines.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:44

I should have I should have done it when I was lining up that shot up top, and I didn't think of it. No, fuck it. I'm just gonna try to shoot him again.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:51

Shooty.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:53

After all, he is trying to kill Starzan. Yeah. Don't think there's a lot of time to spare here. And I'll I'm not doing any other maneuvers, so I'll take two strain and aim twice. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:05

I'll give you.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:06

Got my two accurate, got my prescient shot, that's five blues.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:09

And I'll uh give you a destiny point downgrade your roll, one of your yellows to a green. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:15

Okay, what's it gonna be against?

SPEAKER_00 1:55:17

So that is going to be against your at short range, that'll be against a red, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:23

I'm gonna flip one right back and downgrade that red. Fuck you. Uh fuck you. Two success, seven advantage.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:35

Shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:36

That's enough for two crits!

SPEAKER_00 1:55:37

Uh, he is gonna take some strain and is going to reflect that again. Still got pierced three, man. Yeah. It's enough to get a crit through there. He already has a crit from Chris. Okay. Um, and if you're if you can activate it twice, then that adds uh another ten. So you can add twenty onto whatever you roll.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:59

Okay. Uh rule thirty-two, so fifty-two.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:03

A fearsome wound increases the difficulty ball presence and willpower checks by one. So you can blast a chunk out of his ear. There you go.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:11

Cool. Does he does he like stand up and raise his fist? Very presidential.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:16

Yay.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:17

Except this time it happened. This time it happened.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:20

Can I heal you? Yes, please.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:23

Do I have your permission to heal you? I am granting permission to invade my personal space.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:29

No yell. Starzan! Come and lay hands on you.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:33

So how do you want to heal him? Because heal power heals wound equal to your intellect. Uh, a stim pack starts at five and then diminishes. And medicine heals one wound per success.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:46

Yeah, man, I'm gonna roll a medicine. Let me do this. Against two purple? Three purple.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:51

Two purple.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:52

Two purple.

unknown 1:56:55

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:56

One success. Plus the two from the surgeon. And three strain.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:02

Ugh, you let your you let your pride the ray.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:06

Do you have any strain? I can heal three of your strain, too. I'm good for strain. Well, here's three points for you.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:13

Here's your snack, dumbass.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:16

Look, we're in an active war zone. I I'm stressed.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:19

Quentin, the 14-year-old, he is going to uh try and help his master. He's trying to help Kelleran. So he's going to attack Starzan.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:29

Again, I just went through this.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:31

Man, this is this is great for me. No one gives a fuck that I'm here.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:36

Yeah. Well, you did actually you did just shoot Kelleran's ear off, so I think, yeah, no, it would make more sense for uh Quentin to attack you, Kala. You're right.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:46

However, I do have a slug thrower suppressor, so they might not even register that the bullet fired from me.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:52

I mean you're standing in the room with a gun.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:54

Yeah, but it adds two blacks to Perceptor Vigilance checks to locate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:00

To locate you standing in a room with a giant rifle. I think in this case.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:08

I think they would have seen me do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:09

Uh Starzan's so powerful in the forms, he just used his mind to rip that chunk off.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:14

Quentin uh attacks with two success and three threat. So he does a big baseball swing, slicing you for eight points of wound, Kala.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:27

Oh, you bitch.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:29

And then because he got those three threat, his lightsaber goes sailing out of his hand.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:35

You next big swing, big swing. Ahmed Best is not the best teacher.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:41

He's uh sweaty. He's never done this before. He's never had to fight like Needs Week.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:48

Mom spaghetti.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:49

God, this poor stupid child.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:52

Kalorin, he identifies Illyria as the group's healer. And he knows how uh he knows how to control the fight against Stars and Stars, and he is gonna have that black end upgraded if he tries to attack him. So, Kalorin, he's going to attack Illyria instead.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:11

No! Don't do it, I'm innocent. I didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:17

Is attacking the healer is a war crime?

SPEAKER_00 1:59:20

Uh it is a four success, four threat, one triumph war crime.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:23

All the more reason why this guy has to die.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:26

So must die. 14 points of wound on you, Illyria. Oh, is that?

SPEAKER_07 1:59:31

I have 15, so.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:33

Okay, she's okay. With a crit, 34. So you're stunned, you're staggered until the end of your next turn, which means you can't perform an action. But he did get four threat. Yes. So uh whoever attacks Calor next, because he's decided to go after the healer, I guess, uh, it can add two blues onto their role.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:52

I'm gonna herc up as well. I'm gonna. I was underestimating this guy my first round. Perhaps. So I'm gonna use my commit my force to making my brawn. Or one of my force died to make my brawn a six. I'm gonna try again. I wonder if do you think do you think using my bare hands might be more effective than uh using the lightsaber here?

SPEAKER_03 2:00:10

Man, I thought you just had people hands.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:12

Oh fuck, you beat me by a second, but it's a better joke. Bare hands. So you can uh add those two blues from him uh turning his back on you to go after Illyria, but uh you do still have to add that black and upgrade the difficulty. So that is gonna be a purple, two reds, a black, and a second black, and two blues.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:38

Three advantage two dark side. We're just we're just giving everybody blues.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:42

So Jed uh is currently being attacked by these children. So that's gonna add a black onto his roll. He's trying to reach for his blaster pistol. It does have accurate, so that gives him a blue. And additional blues from Starzan, but that does have that lightsaber, so that's gonna add a black. It does have ranks of adversaries, that's gonna upgrade. And I'm gonna use a destiny point against him, so that's gonna upgrade it once more. Three advantages! Uh so firing, all that does is gets the two 11-year-old girls to scatter off of him so he can stand up. I mean, that's something. That's something. Uh now Kalorin gets his end of round turn. I think Starzan's been more of a threat overall, so he's gonna attack to continue to attack Starzan. He's gonna return his back on you, Illyria. Hopefully that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:38

Yeah, you guys just tag team him depending on who has he has his back to.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:41

I can use another destiny point, but since you guys are running a little bit low. Thank you. Appreciate it. It's gonna use a maneuver to aim. Three success, two advantages. So Starzan, uh, he does 13 points of wound to you. Oh, that's uh taking me down. Yep, brings you to 25. Uh so you get knocked out, that gives you a crit. Uh because you got those advantages. Because he got those advantages, he can add 10 onto whatever he rolls. 98 gets bumped up to 108.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:20

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:21

See horrific injury. When a character suffers a critical injury with a severity rating no greater than easy. Yeah, but you can I think you have upgrades so you can go get up to hard, right?

SPEAKER_06 2:02:32

Yeah. Uh increases the severity of. Yeah, I have two upgrades for it. Increase severity.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:37

Yeah, okay, so you'll have to commit your force die. I mean you're knocked out, but so it'll be something that comes into play. So that's gonna be on the D10, uh, where does he hit ya? Five, that's your agility. That's your agility. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:51

Oh no. Got you right in the hammy.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:54

Yeah, not uh, at least it's not brawn, but so when you get up, your your agility will be counted as one lower until this is healed. Uh and until you choose to ignore it. Yes, you can I can choose to ignore it. What injury? Back back to the top of the round. So these two kids, uh, they're gonna pool their force, Kala, to try and get that gun out of your hand. You give it a try. Um, call that a Take from my cold dead hands. Discipline roll as well, since it's coming out of your grip.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:28

Okay. That's gonna be what's my discipline?

SPEAKER_00 2:03:32

So they rolled two success, one advantage, two lights, one dark.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:36

Uh, well, you're reducing the the force pips by two, depending on which ones you're going for, and you only got one success. So if they want to stay with the light, no they aren't.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:46

Well, it doesn't say which two pips. So I'm gonna remove one of those lights and one of those darks, and since your gun is a silhouette zero object, together, uh, these two friends, they can pull your gun out of your hand, Cala.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:02

Oh, are you fucking kidding me?

SPEAKER_00 2:04:04

But that one gun.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:05

I thought I'm gonna stab these fucking kids in the head with my light dagger, god damn it.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:09

Alright, do it. Ugh. Take him down.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:13

How far away are they?

SPEAKER_00 2:04:14

Uh they would be short range. You would have to use maneuver to get there.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:17

Are they the closest ones to me?

SPEAKER_00 2:04:18

The closest one to you would be the kid who uh tried to slice you.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:24

Oh, the crit kid who tried to slice me.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:26

Oh yeah, the one who lost his lightsaber, so he's defenseless now?

SPEAKER_00 2:04:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:30

Yeah, I'm gonna I'm feeling the dark side a little right now.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:33

Not that I've uh I I feel like this is the episode where we start to really turn. I believe his name was Quentin. Quentin. It's time it's time for a kid named Quentin to die.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:43

Yeah, I only have fucking two ranks and lightsaber, but uh what would that be to stab Quentin?

SPEAKER_00 2:04:49

Uh that would be a red and a purple.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:51

Red and a purple. I have accurate one. I'm gonna flip one, I'll get a yellow instead of just my two green. Oh, that's fun. Uh two failure, two advantage, one despair. One despair. Is that the first despair of the game? We we actually did pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 2:05:12

Yeah. So far. You can try and stab him. He is like an athletic, like, 14-year-old kid. Uh he did pass the obstacle course. Um, so you can like try and stab him, but he can sort of wrestle the dagger with you. And you got that despair, you do take the weapon's base damage.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:33

And do, like while we're wrestling?

SPEAKER_00 2:05:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:36

God damn it.

SPEAKER_00 2:05:37

But you do accidentally get stabbed by your own thing, but that does mean you and Quentin are struggling. You got those two advantages, so if somebody does want to attack him, they can get a blue. Quentin is going to try and turn the lightsaber around on you. So you're both holding it, Kala. So, uh, this will be we'll say it's a brawl roll, and if he succeeds, he'll do base damage with the lightsaber. Um, you got those two advantages, so throw a black on there. Okay. What is your uh athletics or brawl?

SPEAKER_03 2:06:07

My athletics or brawl?

SPEAKER_00 2:06:08

Yeah, whichever's higher.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:11

Oh, look, they're the same.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:14

Two.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:15

Yeah. Oh, blank. Oh, thank fucking god.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:20

I'm gonna reload my variable holdout blaster, and then I'm going to uh smite uh Mr. Reservoir Dogs with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:31

Calorin, adversary two, you're at short range. It's got uh defense from his lightsaber, so that is gonna be a red, a purple, and a black. It'll give you a destiny point. We'll call it two reds and a black.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:42

Uh flip a destiny as well. And then I get that blue still, right? Yeah. Uh, one success and three advantage. Okay. Not quite a tr uh, not quite a crit, but uh see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:57

Okay, yeah, so that would be you can hit him for four points of wound after his soak. Okay. Uh that'll give a blue on whoever wants to uh take out, try and attack him next.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:06

He's putting a stim pack on myself in action.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:11

Fuck.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:11

Yeah, oh yeah, I'm almost dead. The same reason why I'm not allowed to have drugs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:16

I think we're almost dead.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:17

Braden is gonna try and take out Jed. He's gonna move to Jed, try and take him out. See if he can. Two advantages and a triumph. So he can Oh Fuck. Yeah. No success though. So as Jed's Jed's back on his feet, uh Braden attacks him, manages to cut through his Vibrosword, but not cut through Jed.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:42

Oh, oh Jed loves that Vibro Sword. Hummer.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:46

It's okay, I can throw him a lightsaber if he really wants.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:49

Oh, he I I wonder if he probably would like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:52

Calor He sees what Braden is doing, and he says, Braden, leave him to me.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:57

What? Why?

SPEAKER_00 2:07:59

So Calorin's gonna attack Jed.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:01

Oh Caloran, you nasty little freak!

SPEAKER_00 2:08:05

To success. So he does slice a deep gash into into Jed. Not enough to kill him, though. Enough to seriously injure him. He does 12 points of wound to Jed. Oof. Didn't get any advantage or anything, so no crits to worry about. Uh something. Jed still has to go. So Jed right now is his his vibroblade is gone. He's got one of his pistols. Uh Kalorin is right up close. He's in gauge range. He's gonna try blasting him. We'll see how this goes. Failure with three advantages. So he's blasting Kaloran, not hitting him, but it is enough that Kalorin is pretty distracted.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:51

That's something.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:52

One of the little girls scrambles over to grab the discarded lightsaber. And she's going to run. She doesn't really know what she's doing. She's just arbitrarily gonna attack Chris.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:05

God, I can't believe we're getting this fucking dunked upon by a bunch of kids.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:09

It's it is like five five quote-unquote Jedi are in here.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:14

I know. Maybe his training was pretty good, in fact.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:18

Failure with three advantages. She's swinging wildly. Uh Chris, you'll have uh two blacks, we'll say, onto your uh next roll because you'll you're having to dodge this 11-year-old girl swinging at you with the lightsaber, but she doesn't manage to hit you.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:31

Uh well, I mean, strange things have happened.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:34

How far away is the kid who has my light uh my gun?

SPEAKER_00 2:09:37

Uh, that'll be short range. Short range? Because one of one of the girls grabbed like the lightsaber and the other one has your gun.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:43

Ugh god, do I just want to try charge at this kid? I only got fucking two wound left. But it's like, I need my gun, I'm no good with my lightsaber.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:53

They're cause these two, they're generally like acting in unison. So it's like the one that is attacking Chris, the what the girl holding the gun isn't far behind her.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:02

I mean, kid can't This kid, she's not gonna be able to shoot me with my own fucking gun. I'm gonna charge at her and try to get the gun away. What the fuck's she gonna do? Shoot me. Alright, give me a brawl. What are we doing? You're gonna be engaged.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:18

You got two. Give me a two-purple brawl.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:20

Two purple?

SPEAKER_00 2:10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:21

What do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_00 2:10:22

Got two.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:24

Oh my brawl so bad. Uh oh fuck. Uh one failure, one triumph.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:30

Oh well.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:30

I can't wrestle it away, but can I accidentally uh, you know, hit the traitor and it shoots this kid's face off?

SPEAKER_00 2:10:36

The gun, yeah. The gun goes off. So, there are six NPCs.

SPEAKER_06 2:10:43

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:45

Uh, so I'm gonna roll a D6, and the number is going to be in the order that they got their initiative rolls. So one will be Kalorin, two will be Quentin, three will be uh Malaya, the girl who has your gun, four will be Jed, five will be Brayton, and six will be Zoe, who is.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:06

Come on, number one. If I shoot Jed, I'm gonna cry. Give us a one, come on.

SPEAKER_08 2:11:12

Yo! Fuck you! Fuck you, Kaloran!

SPEAKER_00 2:11:17

Look at that. So base damage is nine.

SPEAKER_02 2:11:21

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:11:21

Three points of pierce.

SPEAKER_02 2:11:23

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:11:24

That is enough. The gun, like, you wrestle it, the trigger gets pulled, the gun goes off. Kaloran about to strike Jed dead. The back of his head just bursts open from a bullet. And he falls in a slump.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:40

Fuck you, Kaloran! Don't touch, don't touch our boy! Was it Malaya who is holding the gun?

SPEAKER_00 2:11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:47

Oh my god, look what you did. She drops it. She is Malaya, you killed him!

SPEAKER_00 2:11:52

Wow. She is stunned. Wow. Look what you did, you little shit. Look what you did. Accidentally killed. Her master, I'm gonna say she's gonna lose her spot there. Which so uh short range, um ranged light, it's gonna aim. Jed gets three successes, bam, bam, bam, Malaya goes down.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:16

Oh, hell yeah, Jed. Not hell yeah for shooting a child, but like, are you you feel bad now? Are you serious?

SPEAKER_05 2:12:23

Jed, I mean, Devin feels bad, not Chris.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:28

That's fair. Sarah also feels bad, but also I kinda don't.

SPEAKER_00 2:12:33

Ooh, okay, so uh Malaya's dead, Calorin's dead, uh Zoe, her best friend just died, so she's like frozen now too. It's time to take her out. Yeah, Quentin, Quentin and Braden are still kind of fighting.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:46

How many points do I need to get a Starzan up?

SPEAKER_00 2:12:50

Uh lots. Uh or a three purple medicine.

unknown 2:12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:53

You do a three-purple medicine, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:12:55

Yeah, you need to succeed a three-purple medicine.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:57

I'm just gonna keep doing CPR on him. Thank you. Two success, two threat.

SPEAKER_00 2:13:02

Alright, starz on your back at your wound threshold, take some strain.

SPEAKER_06 2:13:06

Well that just happened. Hell yeah! How much strain?

SPEAKER_00 2:13:11

Two strain from the threat. Uh, next up, Zoe is gonna run at Jed to try it. Jed just killed her friend, so she's gonna run at him with the discarded lightsaber, try to attack him. One success, one advantage. So she runs at Jed screaming uh that her friend died, and she just fucking impales him. And she's she's not very practiced with this, so when she pulls the lightsaber out, it's not straight out, so it calls a big chunk out of his side as he falls dead.

SPEAKER_02 2:13:50

Wait, can we save him? Can we save him?

SPEAKER_05 2:13:52

Uh he's I mean, I'm I'm pretty sure he did say like falls dead.

SPEAKER_02 2:13:56

Shush, can we save him?

SPEAKER_00 2:13:57

Uh wrong kid died. Can you uh how quickly can you regenerate internal organs?

SPEAKER_02 2:14:03

Illyria?

SPEAKER_00 2:14:03

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_07 2:14:05

Uh you gotta heal. Can I? I already acted this round.

SPEAKER_00 2:14:10

Yeah, Illyria wouldn't be able to this round.

SPEAKER_05 2:14:13

Alright, well, uh if I'm if I'm able to go, then I'm gonna shoot the kid who should who uh stab Jed. Alright, shooter. Last for Jed. One purple. One purple. Let's uh how many destiny points do we got?

SPEAKER_00 2:14:26

You got one.

SPEAKER_05 2:14:27

Um, I'm gonna flip it. Or does anybody else want it? Or can I use it to hopefully get a triumph?

SPEAKER_03 2:14:35

No, no, go for it.

SPEAKER_05 2:14:36

Okay. Five success in a triumph.

SPEAKER_00 2:14:39

Hell yeah, can the triumph be that Jed's okay? No, the triumph is that you're you're blasting this 11-year-old girl who stabbed Jed. She goes down. One of the older boys as well, like, tries to like intervene, and he like tries to take the like not take the the bolt for her, but like as you're firing, he runs at you to try and stop you, and he also gets shot. Oh, that's good. There's one kid left.

SPEAKER_05 2:15:07

It's it's that shot fr it's that shot from The Simpsons where the uh uh the one person is getting shot with a Tommy gun, but then his as he's getting shot his bodyguard just jumps in front of it and also gets shot.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:24

Uh who hasn't gone yet?

SPEAKER_00 2:15:26

I guess I haven't. Yeah, Starzan, if you want to take out this last kid.

SPEAKER_06 2:15:30

Okay, just a straight fucking punch to the face, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 2:15:34

I I wanna knock his head off like in Jason A, where he goes to the boat.

SPEAKER_06 2:15:39

That'll be a red and uh red and a purple. Two success, five advantage, one dark side. Just knock him out.

SPEAKER_00 2:15:44

Okay, well you can punch him in the head. He definitely does get knocked out as he stumbles back and slips on some blood, and his head clonks against the uh the slab where they were getting their lightsabers out of, and there's a red smear on it. He's definitely knocked out.

SPEAKER_06 2:15:59

This is this is the uh the Batman way of not killing people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:16:03

Is he knocked out of life?

SPEAKER_00 2:16:05

He's he's knocked out, and then he will uh lose the rest of his blood, and then he'll be really knocked out.

SPEAKER_05 2:16:11

We've counted two or in here.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:13

He's just sleeping forever.

SPEAKER_05 2:16:15

We were doing a 10 count and we got to 40, and he's still not getting up.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:19

Okay, so they're all out of play.

SPEAKER_05 2:16:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:22

Can Illyria save Jed? No.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:25

Um I'm sorry, Jed is dead. Give me the child. Give me a three.

SPEAKER_07 2:16:36

Um talking about.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:42

Okay, I'm gonna Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:16:46

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:48

That's a little bit of gallows humor. He does have a fearsome, the crit he got from that was a fearsome wound as well. So I'll say that it that was a two purple. We'll say it's a five purple medicine to hit to heal Jed. The the regular, if you want to save his life, uh you'll have to heal the regular, like, beyond crit and his or beyond wound and his crit.

SPEAKER_07 2:17:09

Can I flip a destiny point? You don't have any.

SPEAKER_05 2:17:11

Could I give unskilled assistance? I took the last one. I took the last one to really.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:16

Yeah, if you want to give unskilled assistance, Kalus, you can add a blue.

SPEAKER_07 2:17:19

You can do CPR while I'm doing this.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:22

Yeah, you can do CPR while you're trying to fix him.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:24

Yeah, you can Anyone else? You can pull his helmet off, put your mouth on his, and give him CPR.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:29

Oh, if we finally got a chance to get your mouth on him. Shut up! I just try to save our friend! God, he is handsome though.

SPEAKER_07 2:17:40

Three failure, one advantage, the advantage is that you gotta kiss him.

SPEAKER_02 2:17:47

Oh chat!

SPEAKER_07 2:17:49

He was a little bit warm.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:50

The so the Illyria, you can't bring him back. He's fading, but Kala, as you're doing CPR, he does like just for a second reach up, and you can feel like his fingers running through your hair, and then his arm just goes limp in the sand.

SPEAKER_05 2:18:09

That's sad. He was only two years old. I think he was like 12. Oh well, in that case, he was older than some of these kids.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:20

I don't like any of you right now. Don't like you, don't like you, don't like you either god.

SPEAKER_05 2:18:26

I do. Wait, were you pointing at us? We're on a Discord call.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:30

Well, I only said two you's and then god, so it's up to you guys who was exempt. Amy, why would you do such a thing?

SPEAKER_06 2:18:38

I tried to pull my punches.

SPEAKER_07 2:18:39

Are you not proud of me for not saying that I also have an ST catch?

SPEAKER_06 2:18:44

I don't think you could. I think you were just were laughing too much to actually say anything. We just moved on. We can tell you're getting ready for it, so that's why we just gotta cut you.

SPEAKER_07 2:19:00

Okay, guys. Who's still alive here?

SPEAKER_03 2:19:02

No one. No one's alive but us. Everybody's dead.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:07

Everybody's dead. You and your friends are dead. Great game.

SPEAKER_07 2:19:10

It seems to always happen.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:12

Well, that was depressing.

SPEAKER_05 2:19:14

That was the most carried game show. That might have been the most depressing thing we've ever been a part of. And maybe we've been part of a lot of depressing things.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:23

This entire thing was being filmed for a Hollow Net game show.

SPEAKER_00 2:19:27

A YouTube game show.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:29

That we'll never see the edge.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:31

Yeah, we're not seeing the live chat being like uh cringe, depressing.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:39

I think that guy died.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:19:41

So I was ready to just be like, alright, it's time for you to go to jail, but then all of a sudden, all of a sudden it just really went out of hand.

SPEAKER_07 2:19:50

Yeah, I wanted to arrest this guy. I wanna arrest this guy too.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:54

Cool. So uh any of you killing people any of you chuckle fucks want to help me get our friend's corpse back on the ship so maybe we can give him a proper burial somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 2:20:03

Starzine, we need you. I can get it. You can carry what remains of Jed back to the Sword of Justice. And as you return, the console, the main console, is blinking. You are getting a priority message.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:22

Let's answer it.

SPEAKER_00 2:20:23

Well it's not a call, it's just like like a text message. Let's look at it. An encrypted message, and it is a priority message directing you to return with the utmost haste to Coruscant. Because your presence is not requested, but required? Required. Yeah. For something called Operation Nightfall, which I guess you'll have to learn more about next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This episode of Empire Wreckers is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B. Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.