Empire Wreckers

S14E08 - Gazonga

Empire Wreckers Season 14 Episode 8

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0:00 | 2:26:26
SPEAKER_01

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Records, the Star Wars Actual Play Podcast that I don't know, but I'm gonna take a guess who has strong feelings about the Devil's Carnival. Who's ready to tell me about that today?

SPEAKER_03

How dare you? Okay, hang on, let me think, because I do have strong feelings about the Devil's Carnival. Calla said has strong feelings about the Devil's Carnival, but she does maintain that the sequel, Hallelujah, is kind of bad and enjoyed just as a soundtrack. I have strong feelings.

SPEAKER_09

How many Teres and H things are there?

SPEAKER_03

More than you think. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Hello, Jamapella Camusant, and the Devil's Carnival is what we titled the Lester OG.

SPEAKER_10

Snumbers and just numb the mistress on the feelings of the generals coming. Snumberz and then watched it maybe a couple of times and can't seem to remember anything. Number of it was memory can't share. Something about blight furnace stringes really piqued Stars and M's interest.

SPEAKER_11

And Deliria cares for neither devils nor carnivals.

SPEAKER_01

And if you're in the wrong place, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in the galaxy far, far away? In Star Wars! The Empire's reach is expanding. Led by the Imperial Knights, Peace has been brought to the centrality, providing a foothold for the Empire in the Outer Rim, ousting the sorcerer Roker Gepta from his ill-gotten power and revealing him to be an insidious croak. The Knights then secured his treasure vault, ensuring continuing wealth for the Empire. Now returned to Coruscant, the Loyal Knights continue to stand sentinel against the forces of corruption that threatened the galaxy.

SPEAKER_03

Loyal. Yeah, we kill that little worm.

SPEAKER_01

Killed that little worm, and you definitely didn't do anything to obfuscate the thing that was definitely not a listening device.

SPEAKER_03

We were never. We were never. I hope Anakin's not gonna be real grumpy that we went off on a mission without telling him.

SPEAKER_09

He doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges, does he? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So, anyways, you're all getting choked out.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I mean you uh So anyways, done choking.

SPEAKER_01

You did good. You you brought uh a new region into the Empire's grip. You uh destroyed uh an evil sorcerer that was a threat to the Imperial Knights. You found a harp?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, oh yeah, the mind harp.

SPEAKER_01

Could potentially send telepathic messages to people.

SPEAKER_06

Can I can I um uh can I put some time into learning how to play it?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, have you been practicing your ocarina?

SPEAKER_01

Uh what what would I have to roll for something like that? So to practice the mind harp, um it could be uh coordination to get your fingers uh ready. Just because it's uh a lot of it is like rote memorization of how to actually pluck this thing and figure it out. It is a thing that uh probably shouldn't exist. Physically, it's questionable. Physically it's questionable?

SPEAKER_06

That sounds like me, baby.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, this is like the optical illusion.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah. MC Escher type shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Alright. Uh well, coordination then. What am I rolling for coordination?

SPEAKER_01

Since it is such a physically incomprehensible object, uh, you're gonna have a black added onto that, but give me a give me a three purple and a black coordination.

SPEAKER_06

Three purple and a black coordination.

SPEAKER_01

To success, but to threaten.

SPEAKER_06

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01

So you can uh you've been practicing with this, with this mind harp, learning how to use it. It isn't it is an ancient alien artifact. And although you can kind of send you can send feelings, you can send sort of basic sensations with that success and threat. Nothing overly complex though. Like you can send just sort of basic like animal level emotions. I'm just learning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's my first day. It's my first day. Can't can you can you send a message to Zin, but it's just like thirsty. Ordy has to.

SPEAKER_11

Oil.

SPEAKER_03

Oil.

SPEAKER_11

Bamous heart.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Zin just gets a mental image of a mental dick pic from you.

SPEAKER_06

Um I didn't mean to uh I didn't mean to put that in your brain.

SPEAKER_01

Let me uh Like you could probably Let me try something else. You could probably implant like a stronger sort of uh into a conscious mind, it would be very basic, but probably into like a dreaming or a sleeping mind, you might be able to get a little bit more specific.

SPEAKER_09

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06

I'll be the I'll be the man of your dreams.

SPEAKER_09

Of Starzan's dream?

SPEAKER_03

Of everyone's dream.

SPEAKER_10

But especially Starzan. Starzan not have dreams of Chris. Drummers of that have been highly exaggerated.

SPEAKER_03

Everyone's gonna have weird, uh, erotic dreams about this one member of the Imperial Knights, the entire planet.

SPEAKER_06

It's not strange at all.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, to be fair, if there's any member of the Imperial Knights that people are regularly having uh spicy dreams about, it's probably Chris.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's the least suspicious. And and the thing about the like the dreams is that it's not even like they're having these erotic feelings about you, but but it's because you're projecting your feelings. It's just like you're there like Louis C.K. in the corner.

SPEAKER_06

Have you guys seen a helicopter dick?

SPEAKER_11

Woo! Do you consent to me whacking it off in front of you?

SPEAKER_06

It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03

Everyone's dream has a cuck chair, and it don't everyone has the same person in it.

SPEAKER_11

I'm just saying, if they didn't want to watch me doing that, they would have pushed their way past my creepy naked body to get out the door.

SPEAKER_01

As as as I was blocking the door going. Everyone's dream visitor in Baldur's Gate looks exactly the same.

SPEAKER_02

Handsome. Handsome Gith Yankee.

SPEAKER_01

But aside from uh Chris playing the uh Mindharp, uh your encrypted secret channel with Maul has received a message.

SPEAKER_11

It's red Oh, it wouldn't be.

SPEAKER_03

But it what has Maul told us?

SPEAKER_01

Uh it is a set of coordinates and a date.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh. We have a date with Maul?

SPEAKER_01

How soon is the date?

SPEAKER_03

Do we have to save the date?

SPEAKER_01

Uh well the the date is for this evening. You didn't just receive it, but the date would have been for this evening. Uh and the location is somewhere in the down levels of Coruscant.

SPEAKER_03

Oh dear, is he coming to Coruscant? Uh-oh. Not uh, just that feels like it would probably be a dangerous thing for him to attempt.

SPEAKER_06

I thought you were saying uh-oh. It's like I better look my best.

SPEAKER_03

I gotta get pretty. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

I gotta get pretty for Darth Maul.

SPEAKER_03

Look.

SPEAKER_09

Gupta?

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Speaking of speaking of Maul, because I keep saying that I should do it, I keep forgetting. Cause there's it specifically says in the power, regardless of current distance. But could I roll a seek power and have an idea of where Savage is? Because I keep being like, I should really seek that guy, and then I keep forgetting.

SPEAKER_01

Um, yeah, okay. Roll me your seek power.

SPEAKER_03

Sure, this is the just my forest eye. Uh two dark side, two light side, two dark sides enough to activate it.

SPEAKER_01

You can fe you can feel him like if you just kinda like look up into the sky, you kind of get a sense he's it's out there somewhere. Like space is really big.

SPEAKER_03

Can I tell if uh like space is really big?

SPEAKER_01

Can I get any feeling like is this a do you want do you want to uh work with Illyria to do an astrogation check?

SPEAKER_03

Sure. I mean, also it's like not necessarily I want to know the location, but like, is there any kind of movement to this, or is this like, oh yeah, the corpse is out there?

SPEAKER_01

At cosmic distances, I don't think you would be able to like tell the difference whether or not it's moving. Because like, okay, if it's like even like a single degree, if he's like walking around somewhere and it's like a straight line from Coruscant to another planet, you would not be able to perceive that line moving.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, well maybe maybe if I could work with Elyria and do some astrogation and then like maybe we could uh look into that in the future. What do you think, Elyria? You want to help me figure out where my seek is pointing to? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So based on you just have like a general direction. Uh so this would be I'm gonna say three purple and a black astrogation, because it like you don't have much to go on, you're just like, oh, he's up there somewhere.

SPEAKER_11

That's it, that's the role.

SPEAKER_01

Uh three purple and a black astrogation, yeah.

SPEAKER_11

Two failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_01

Yay. I mean, you can kind of point point some shit out there.

SPEAKER_03

Uh can okay, because we dropped him off on Eridonia originally. Is like my basic gesturing with Illyria's one advantage, would that be enough to be like, yeah, that's kind of the same region as Iridonia, if that is in fact the case, or if it's not. Did he make it off Eridonia?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, based on what you can tell, yeah, it seems like he might still be there.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Because you could also, if you want to use a destiny point, you could also potentially see more details.

SPEAKER_03

Is that for um the seek?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because you got too dark, too light.

SPEAKER_03

You could use destiny and I don't have any upgrades though. Okay. I only have this basic seek power, and I don't think actually I mean you've already rolled it and done the astrogation check, so if you wanted to roll it, you would have to roll it again, but yeah, because I I do have 15 banked XP, and that would be enough to get like a magnitude and a strength upgrade. But goddamn, I'm really trying to save my I'm really trying to save. But maybe I'll get maybe I'll re-roll and I'll get one magnitude upgrade.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, tr try again after the uh astrogation.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh. I mean I got I got one dark side and four light side.

SPEAKER_01

And I would need You would need two for the basic power, so you would need to spend at least one and then have her many upgrades, and you would take that as as strain.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because like because we have four destiny points. Yeah. Correct? Yeah. Because I could or is it only two? We have some destiny points in any.

SPEAKER_04

We have some, yeah. Yeah, you have um For once.

SPEAKER_03

For once.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, you have two to start out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because I could maybe I'll flip one of them, then I'll use No, I'm only I'm not gonna get the strength upgrade I really wanna save. And I'll use two of the light side, so I'll take two strain and then the one dark side, so three altogether.

SPEAKER_01

And what upgrade are you thinking of using?

SPEAKER_03

Um magnitude, so it's spend a force pip to gain one additional detail. I can I can I can roll to get rid of some strain once we're done here. So I'll flip as because I have to flip two for the basic power. I'll just flip all five so I can get three additional details, and then I'll just take four strain.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so you'll take some strain.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

So you get you're gonna get three additional details.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So, um, what you can feel, these are sensations. You can feel um on your face, you feel wind and like um a breeze at least. You feel kind of like swaying back and forth. It's a very nice breeze. You feel like maybe like you're kind of up high a little bit. On your right leg, you feel like there's a prickliness to it. Like there's uh like something's nipping at you. Something's nipping at your foot.

SPEAKER_00

And on your left from a tree or something.

SPEAKER_01

And on your left, your left arm feels wet, like submerged in water. Submerged. Is he swimming with the fishes?

SPEAKER_03

But there's wind on my face.

SPEAKER_01

Something nipping at my Yeah, you're not feeling the wind on your foot.

SPEAKER_03

I'm standing in water. Am I alive?

SPEAKER_01

Well no, your your foot is not in water. Only your hand is in water.

SPEAKER_03

Only my hand is in water, but I'm like, your leg feels like it's laying on the ground. But my I feel like I'm suspended up high.

SPEAKER_01

Your your face feels like it's suspended up high.

SPEAKER_03

Are all my pieces together? Can I tell?

SPEAKER_01

It seems like uh Savage is in several places at once.

unknown

Ooooooooooo.

SPEAKER_03

Stars and I got bad news about Savage.

SPEAKER_07

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no.

SPEAKER_06

Not Savage. Oh no! Not Savage. I get it now. I get it.

SPEAKER_03

Look, to be fair. To be fair, I'm not doing this in character voice because we didn't know in character, but we did drop him off on Eridonia. Because it's like, yeah, Zaprax, and it's like wrong type of Zaprax. I know.

SPEAKER_09

They sold his ass out. They're racist.

SPEAKER_03

Well, he's he's they're Death Myrian Zaprax are very distinctive compared to Eurodonian Zaprax, but uh, ooh dear, that's not great. Well, we're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_09

We figured you know what, lions, tigers, they can they can be in the same habitat at the zoo. They're just they're just cats, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, basically. Just put them all in together, it's fine. Okay. Well, anyways, we were going to a meeting with Darthmall on the lower levels of Coruscant. So what are you gonna too?

SPEAKER_09

Do we have some bad news for him, or we should keep that to ourselves?

SPEAKER_01

How are you gonna go go out go out on the town here?

SPEAKER_03

I feel like we should probably be going like under the radar. Like we should be wearing our banal apparel of like not going full night regalia. Should we should we hail a cab?

SPEAKER_11

Also, we should make sure we're not being trailed by other people.

SPEAKER_03

Make sure we're not being tailed. I mean, can we can we just take uh they have they have speeders?

SPEAKER_01

Um if you go to the sort of the Knights Temple garage, you can see that uh there are there are some various various speeders. Uh another member of the Knights, this big Dawuten woman, is getting into a uh a gunship uh speeder with a group of clone troopers heading out on some hunt or another. Other than that, there's like some mechanics that are working on some repairs for some speeders, but every all the speeders that are in here are very clearly like Imperial or Imperial Knight. Yeah, maybe maybe we should have nondescript.

SPEAKER_03

Get a cab or rent something. We take a lime bike down there, or can we uh Does everyone have lime bikes where they are? We have those should be speeders. They're like the Uber rental electric bikes. Except. Except.

SPEAKER_01

So in the garage, there are a lot of uh Imperial and Imperial Night speeders, but under a tarp kind of tucked into a corner over by a workbench, you you see just kind of poking out under this tarp um uh a flash of yellow, the favorite color of Lord Vader. He is a uh a man of speed. He does have a not insignificant uh collection of speeders in his personal workshop area.

SPEAKER_03

We're gonna take his hot rod out on the town, take it for a joyride.

SPEAKER_07

No Mastellane, the other car.

SPEAKER_01

The other car.

SPEAKER_03

I was also thinking of that.

SPEAKER_01

His banana yellow Batmobile.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like that, like, does he have any does he have anything in his personal uh garage that's not quite that ostentatious? No.

SPEAKER_01

Because like just looking over it, like everything's kind of under tarps.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You his favorite color is yellow, so like kind of most of his stuff is kind of flashy. Most of his stuff are like they are racing speeders.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Could I uh could I roll a perception to see if I can spot something that's at least not like bright yellow? Like, give me something in gray or black.

SPEAKER_01

It's in the garage. You probably wouldn't even need to do a perception check. Uh just roll me your cool as you're investigating these, because there are like some guards, some knights milling around, some mechanics, some clone troopers that are just kind of milling around in there. If you don't want to look like you're being suspicious.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

What kinda cool? Uh, this would probably be uh two purple cool. Not not that tough, but stay on guard.

SPEAKER_09

Be suspicious, don't be suspicious.

SPEAKER_03

Ah, man. Ooh, two failure. I'm not cool. Two advantage.

SPEAKER_01

So, uh, Kala, you don't you don't find anything. Illyria, you got those advantage. You didn't succeed at being cool, so you do find a speeder. Uh it is a not uh overtly imperial, not super like gaudy, like Anakin style yellow racing speeder. It does seem to be very expensive. It's classy, though. It seems like the kind of speeder that may have been a gift from somebody. Like if you were like, say, like Palpatine and you were like, well, what does Anakin like? He likes speeders, right? Like the kind of thing where it's like, it's not quite to his taste, but it is a gift from somebody who knows he likes speeders, even if they don't exactly know what kind.

SPEAKER_03

It's very, very grandpa coded.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Uh but Illyria, you are kind of spotted, and a clone comes over and says, uh, excuse me. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_11

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, this is uh Lord Vader's private workshop area.

SPEAKER_11

Oh, is it? I was not aware. I'm not really uh a car person.

SPEAKER_01

Uh well, it is. Uh do you have his permission to be over here? I see your knight. I I know you, uh, Master Elyria.

SPEAKER_11

You do, of course. Of course.

SPEAKER_01

But I just don't want to.

SPEAKER_11

I start staring at him with my creepy eyes.

SPEAKER_06

Should I um try and sneak behind and like see if we might be able to grab uh what would we need to do? Grab some keys or something?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I guess because like he's still notice it being taken off. But I I uh I'm okay at lying. I can try to step in. Just like, oh yeah, Lord uh Lord Veda gave us permission. We need to uh do something kind of covert within the city. We don't want to be like, you know, flashing around the uh Imperial Knight vehicles, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Uh okay, give me a deception then.

SPEAKER_03

What's that gonna be for deception?

SPEAKER_01

It's gonna be a three purple.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. I mean, I got a yellow, two green, and a blue.

SPEAKER_01

Oh I will say, if you wanna use leadership, you can upgrade uh the ability. If somebody wants to do leadership, they can upgrade the ability uh once. So they can flip a green to a a yellow.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh, I'm not I'm not good at leadership.

SPEAKER_11

I only got two green. One rank in leadership.

SPEAKER_06

I just don't have I I don't have a rank in leadership, but I am good at it, and I uh can take away a black if there's a black.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, maybe Chris take over. Take over, be a leader.

SPEAKER_06

Uh Chris take the wheel. Uh who do you say thank you uh bothering us? We are uh we are here from uh Darth Vader's uh orders. We are here to make sure that his uh vehicles go to a pro uh to a proper place. You need to go uh you need to go away.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, give me that leadership. Uh it'll be a that'll still be against the same. That'll be a three purple, but you can upgrade a green to a yellow because uh these clones do still have those chips in their heads. I got two success, but a threat. Very well. Uh take it out. Just uh let me know. Uh just have to get the registry of that speeder so I can log it.

SPEAKER_06

Anybody want to judo chop him? Is that a choice?

SPEAKER_03

It's fine. We can deal with it later. Or can we get give him a false registry?

SPEAKER_01

Well, he'll he'll just have to like see the speeder it is and write down what number it has. I know. Which one were we looking at here? The c the classy grandpa speeder.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I mean we can try to if Anakin notices, as long as we as long as we return the speeder, hopefully he won't even notice. And if he does, we can try to talk our way out of it later. I'm sure it'll be fine.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, the more nefarious we are, the more likely he is to forgive us because we're like, you know, doing evil things.

SPEAKER_03

Is that how that works? Yeah, it totally is. That's how it works. That's exactly how it works.

SPEAKER_06

Game respects game kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, man. He's gonna love that.

SPEAKER_06

He's gonna love this.

SPEAKER_03

What he doesn't even like this one.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, look at this old piece of shit.

SPEAKER_03

It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_06

We'll take this old shitty one.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, we'll let him we'll let him record the registration and we'll take it out. Do a quick trek uh check for trackers while we're uh That's not gonna bite us in the b that's not gonna bite us in the ass.

SPEAKER_01

Uh You wanna do a perception check for trackers?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, please.

SPEAKER_01

That'd be uh probably a two purple to give it a once over. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

One success, two advantage.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so you can give it a once over. There's no trackers. Uh you don't find any evidence. There's nothing that it should be, it was a gift from Anakin that he for Anakin that he never really used. I don't think he would ever think to put a tracker on there. He certainly wouldn't expect it to be stolen from uh the Imperial Night Temple. That's right, wouldn't have come with one.

SPEAKER_03

With my advantage, could I also check for any listening devices?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, you can check for that. It seems totally clean. It's just a car.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01

We're fine. And this this car, it's the uh like probably the closest analogue to an existing speeder, is it's it's similar to like the uh the limousine, like the Senate limousine that Mon Mothman was riding around in Andor, like the kind of blue sort of boxy thing.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So there there is a like driver's compartment and a passenger's compartment.

SPEAKER_03

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01

If you need to close up any partitions.

SPEAKER_03

Driver, close the partition, please.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, well, I can fly us down.

SPEAKER_01

So Cal, you can you can get in, and the rest of you can uh enjoy some like there it's it's so hard. There's like a layer of dust on the mini-bar, like, under the seat. And there is like there is some like nice Alderanian wine in there.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh. Are there like some uh some bagged snacks that have all passed their expiration date?

SPEAKER_01

Well, not for you.

SPEAKER_03

You're in the you're in the driver's seat, but for everybody else, yeah, there is some uh I'll lean my head to the side just like someone put a pretzel in my mouth. Feed me one of them gummy pears, man! Okay, let's let's fly down while uh everyone in the back gets crunky.

SPEAKER_01

What is the equivalent of Dubai chocolate?

SPEAKER_03

Oh god. Some some very uh fad some some fad treat that is now out of fashion.

SPEAKER_05

Ugh.

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah, it's it's fresh from uh they got it from from Pasana from that hipster festival from episode nine.

SPEAKER_11

Instead of beaver tails, do they have gungane ears?

SPEAKER_03

Ugh. I hope not. Those are sentient.

SPEAKER_11

It's like a donut. It's like a donut. No, I I know Canadians don't eat beaver's tails, they're donuts.

SPEAKER_03

Look, the beaver tail is not the thing that's giving me pawn. It's the gungane ears.

SPEAKER_11

It's a similar shape. It's long and wide. But gungin's. And very receptive to cinnamon sugar.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they don't have any old pastries in the in the car.

SPEAKER_03

Gun there's a gungin in the Senate!

SPEAKER_01

There might be there might be some Gungan caviar.

SPEAKER_03

Like that that feels like uh an old name for a pastry that's now been outmoded, and if anyone uses it, it's like, like licorice babies, you know.

SPEAKER_11

This is the Imperial Empire, whatever the fuck. Uh we can say what we woke up. We can say it now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, woke is dead, comedy's legal.

SPEAKER_03

Let's just drive, let's just go.

SPEAKER_06

I do remember the small town that I grew up in had uh uh had a convenience store that had just that word and babies right at like, you know, just out in the open like that, and I was just I didn't know what Brazil nuts were actually called until I was like 16.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think I you know what? We're driving down, we don't need to talk about the we don't need to talk about how racist Canada is.

SPEAKER_01

No, instead you could talk about how racist the Empire is. There we go.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, they're the ones who are wrong, not us. Wait, only one of us is a human.

SPEAKER_09

Well, that probably bodes poorly for the future. The apex.

SPEAKER_03

The apex predator. Starzan has those forward-facing eyes.

SPEAKER_09

Yes. I should hope most of us do. Right?

SPEAKER_03

Starzan has been looks maxing, so he has predator eyes.

SPEAKER_09

No one wants to know how much time Starzan spends feathering his hair in between adventures. You say no one wants to know, but I want to know.

SPEAKER_03

Starzan, what do you think of this? You just put a finger to your lips and then point at your jawline.

SPEAKER_06

We all understand what you mean, but you wish we wish you would use your words.

SPEAKER_03

We're going. Let's go to the meeting. We're done with this.

SPEAKER_01

Uh you can head down. Uh the level is in the 1600s. So pretty pretty far down. Okay. Uh, pretty seedy down there. Uh, though where where you kind of land the closest to the the area, there is a sort of port that you can pull into, uh, the kind of place where you want to put a boot on your car, probably. Yeah. Your speeder is uh among the nicest that are there. You can see like the Coruscant police gunships doing their kind of patrols in the big sinkhole pits down to the lower levels of Coruscant. Like, they haven't even gotten down here for the night yet. They're still up in like the 1200, 1300s. So it'll be a while before Johnny Law shows up.

SPEAKER_03

I know that we made the Batman joke before, but I am like, maybe we just push the button on the car that activates the full the full armor shell to come out and cover it up.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think this one has a full armor shell.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think this one does. It's not gonna keep it it's not gonna keep our car safe from the penguins and his goons. It's fine. Just put a put a tire bar on, put the wheelbar on.

SPEAKER_01

Put the wheelbar on. And if you have a tracker that's leading you, if you have Google Maps loaded into your data pad, you can follow it through the CD under levels lit by neon holographic signs offering uh pleasures of the flesh, of of the senses, food and drink, weapons, anything you can imagine they're selling down here. And the coordinates lead you to this darkened alcove, this little alley tucked away behind buildings built on top of each other, leaky steaming pipes kind of crossing. You have to duck under them a little bit like a video game fake loading screen to get into it. And standing there at the end is a cloaked figure. Who is the cloaked figure? Can we see them? They're they're wearing a cloak and a hood, but you can see tattooed red and black skin under the hood.

unknown

Hi.

SPEAKER_03

Did did did you actually come here? How the fuck did he get on Corusant?

SPEAKER_01

I'm glad you've come to meet me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm glad you had to get caught by the cops when you're coming down.

SPEAKER_06

We're glad that Zud have come too.

SPEAKER_03

I'll bet you are. Uh but yeah, why what uh good to see ya? Why are you here?

SPEAKER_01

It is time to begin building our forces.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Where do we start? In order to fight back against the Empire, we have need of allies. And because the Empire has made resistance illegal, our best allies are those who already reside outside the law.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, go on.

SPEAKER_01

I agree. Chris, I believe you are familiar with Black Sun.

SPEAKER_06

Uh, yes, yes. I uh I am aware I am aware of such people. Uh that is true. Your family. Uh I don't want to talk about it, but yes.

SPEAKER_01

How deep into the criminal underworld is your family?

SPEAKER_06

Um, dad's like a lawyer. Uh he's a mob. Is your dad like a mob lawyer? He's like Wesley in season one of Daredevil.

SPEAKER_03

I see, I was just gonna think, like, uh like um, oh god. What's the dad, the Kardashian dad who defended OJ? Oh, Robert Kardashian. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Robert Kardashian.

SPEAKER_03

Chris Kardashian's hologram. Oh my god, Chris Kardashian!

SPEAKER_09

Oh my goodness. His hologram's gonna appear and call Starzan the greatest, greatest, greatest, greatest, greatest man to ever live. Wait, so is this analogy?

SPEAKER_03

Are you Chris's husband? Are you Chris's unstable husband?

SPEAKER_09

Uh wee wee!

SPEAKER_03

Somehow that works. Yeah, so dad's a mob lawyer.

SPEAKER_06

Dad dad's a mob lawyer. I couldn't uh live up to uh I couldn't live up to that because I'm uh a very uh uh spoil a spoilt one, as it were. I tried to like get a uh I didn't I didn't want to uh be a part of any of my uh of my dad's I I didn't want to become my father, so I decided to party instead.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not part of your system. I like how even after you went to the Jedi Temple, you're just like, I'm not gonna be like you, Daddy! I'm partying.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not gonna have any respect for the law, I'm gonna be a Jedi.

SPEAKER_06

He's like, I don't have any respect for the law too. Why are you doing this? I am the law. I am the law. So you are familiar. Uh yes, I am uh I am familiar with the Black Suns. I uh was hoping that I wouldn't have to uh bring that into Zist, but uh if desperate times may call for measures that are equally as desperate.

SPEAKER_01

Your position in the Imperial Knights has no doubt been a bridge between Black Sun and the Empire. Most of the clan's leadership is working with the Empire to keep a foothold in the outer rim, but we have an opportunity to disrupt the relationship. Ooh, what kind of opportunity? Black Sun has its territory spread between nine Vigos. However, since the death of Zero the Hut during the war, there has only been eight, and his territory remains unclaimed.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, which hut?

SPEAKER_01

Zero, Jabba's gay uncle.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, Zero! We I know ha or actually would we?

SPEAKER_01

You probably would have like heard of him at some point. Like his arrest was pretty big news.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Thank you for putting into words that out where I know who that character is.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we appreciate that.

SPEAKER_06

So so are you saying that if I uh was able to help the Black Suns take care of Zero Zahut, then we would be it. Uh then we may have a mighty force on our side. Zero is dead, killed by his girlfriend Cy Snoodles.

SPEAKER_01

No. Who is Cy Snoodles? She was the singer from Jabba's Palace with the big lips. Yeah. Oh. So his territory remains open.

SPEAKER_06

So opportunity for a new Vigo to step in. Are you saying we need to fill a vacuum?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like help your family step into that vacuum, fill it up.

SPEAKER_01

I have a candidate in mind. Who's your candidate? Who's your candidate? While most of Black Sun is allied with the Empire, there is a Vigo candidate on Coruscant, a falling nationalist, a prince named Shizor.

SPEAKER_03

Ah, I love a salad.

SPEAKER_01

Shizor? Yes. But if you can help him ascend to the level of Vigo, then he would owe you a debt, and therefore owe us a debt. He would be no friend to the Empire, and we could begin to take over Black Sun, eventually helping him propel to the level of Underlord.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, how how does how does one become uh uh Vigo as it as it were? Do they just uh claim it or is it a succession?

SPEAKER_01

He would need to be chosen. He would need to impress his superiors, and with the power of the Imperial Knights at his beck and call, he might find that to be an easy proposition.

SPEAKER_11

Ah he's gonna be a nerd, isn't he?

SPEAKER_03

We can yeah, maybe maybe that's how he learns to be uh a hot guy. Chris teaches him his ways. Right now he's got a glasses and a pocket protector. We need to make him a ponytail.

SPEAKER_06

He does have a ponytail. He needs to be hot. We can make him hot. I can I can make a hot man out of this man. All that we need to do is take off his glasses and get rid of his ponytail.

SPEAKER_09

Does he have any competition in just seven days? We'll make you a man.

SPEAKER_03

Because like, okay, you say that uh if we helped him become the uh Vigo, that he would, you know, kind of have a debt of gratitude with us, would not want to align with the Empire. But I know that um Empire already has like a research base, is it set up with the Falline? Like, is like I don't I'm just do we know for certain that he would not just sell us out to the Empire for like some extra pull on his planet, is kinda what my thinking is.

SPEAKER_01

I believe if you speak to him, it will become apparent that he would not do such a thing.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Uh you know what, I'll trust your judgment here, I think. And uh, you know where on the planet he uh he's hold up right now?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I can lead you to him.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, sick.

SPEAKER_01

That's indeed as sick. We will speak again later.

SPEAKER_06

Do I do do I look back and be and then look forward and then he disappears?

SPEAKER_01

He doesn't disappear, but he begins to get staticky and flickery.

SPEAKER_03

And Oh hey Paul, about your brother!

SPEAKER_01

And and then the hologram begins to fizzle out, and underneath is revealed this kind of like spindly skeletal droid that sort of like its limbs sort of like rearrange and reshape themselves and lengthen themselves to not be Maul's proportions, but back to its default proportions.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's gone.

SPEAKER_01

This is hello.

SPEAKER_03

Hi. Hello, little best friend. You're the one who's uh leading us?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. The master sent me to guide you to wherever it is that you are supposed to be going to meet this Shizor. Oh, it's a KI unit.

SPEAKER_02

Wha what uh what do we call it?

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm not a KI unit. I am no assassin. You can call me Proxy. I am a hollow droid. Proxy.

SPEAKER_03

Hey, thank you, Proxy.

SPEAKER_01

You lead the way. Very well. However, I do not wish to attract attention, so I will have to amend another disguise.

SPEAKER_09

My name is Proxy.

SPEAKER_06

Do you do you do do you need a uh idea of what kind of disguise you need? Uh what's what's uh what's uh or do you have a bunch of them in the Rolo desks?

SPEAKER_01

I have been programmed with a litany of disguises. Here, watch. And he begins to like generate a new hologram. You're in the underlevel, so obviously you want some banal apparel, so he the hologram he generates is of a sort of cloaked figure, like a just like a brown nondescript cloak with a hood. But you can see that it's like you recognize this motherfucker. He's got he's got for some reason a hologram of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, uh no, no, maybe not that one on this planet.

SPEAKER_09

No.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no, a different one.

SPEAKER_06

Not a new one.

SPEAKER_11

A new detain.

SPEAKER_06

You need you need a list of the Z Brian Butterfield disguises. Is this more acceptable?

SPEAKER_01

And he shifts and again, and his hologram fizzles in statics and he reforms as uh a rat-tailed young Anakin Skywalker.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that might be even less acceptable.

SPEAKER_01

That would be even worse, honestly. Do you have any anonymous people? Anonymous? I was originally programmed as a training droid for Count Dooku. Most of the beings that I have programmed inside of me are notorious Jedi that are enemies of the Empire, so I can understand why I would stick out like a sore thumb.

SPEAKER_06

Can I can I uh are are are we around close enough to people where I could just point at somebody and be like, be that guy?

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah, you could probably just point at a at a random person. Be that.

SPEAKER_06

You see, is that man over? Can I can I roll to uh roll for my luck? Just to make sure that he's not like, you know, a known person that I don't know.

SPEAKER_11

Don't be yourself, be that guy.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, it give me a two-purple perception just to find find somebody. Because I I want uh I want the chance to accidentally get the president or something. Big Sheeve.

SPEAKER_09

We just happen to see Sheeve. Be that guy wandering around the line.

SPEAKER_06

We don't recognize him at all. Uh three success, but two threat. I don't know what those two threat are gonna be for, but Well, what kind of guy are you looking for? Um we're we're looking for somebody who nobody who is uh as anonymous as possible. Like we weren't we're looking for mid-2000s or late 2000s Channing Tatum or Sam Worthington.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, yeah, you can find like just a nondescript like white guy in his 20s, but because you're like going for early 2000s, mid-2000s, uh he's scanning from a distance there. So that's the render quality he's at. Oh so his hologram kinda looks like a uh like a PS3 pre-rendered cutscene. That's about where he tops out.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, if he has a hood on and no one else gets too much.

SPEAKER_01

His cloth sims aren't that great.

SPEAKER_03

Uh oh, it's like melted cheese. Yes.

SPEAKER_06

It's like PS4 graphics. But I mean you're you're dark under the PS4's good, but now it's gloss. I mean, well, okay, PS3. PS3.

SPEAKER_03

It's fine. It'll be fine. Sounds good.

SPEAKER_01

Very well. I'll lead the way.

SPEAKER_03

You'll lead the way, buddy.

SPEAKER_01

So he leads the way. Um he has that kind of walk where because of his hologram, uh the amount of steps that he's taking doesn't quite match up to the actual distance he's covering, so he's his feet are cut-oh, he's glide. Yeah, he's kind of gliding a little bit.

SPEAKER_03

Mmm, it's fine, it's fine.

SPEAKER_09

Buffers in the hallway when he's starting to make a turn.

SPEAKER_01

And he leads you uh not very far away. It's just a couple of corners, a couple of twists and turns, a couple of uh keeping your head downs. And then he says, Behold, Crime Lord Shizor has been holed up inside Zero's old cantina, his nightclub. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

The uh just out in the open, or is there like a secret knock that we need to talk to him or something?

SPEAKER_01

The establishment is, as far as I can make out, it is available for patrons. However, these patrons are not a nice type.

SPEAKER_06

I say uh they re uh uh so they're ruffians then.

SPEAKER_01

Untrained, by the looks of them mostly, their movements are unstudied and unpracticed, but aggressive. I believe that many of them have been imbibing liquids and other substances that may increase their ability to fight, but not their skill. I would be able to murder them all quickly.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, that might be a little bit more attention that we necessarily want to be drawn to ourselves.

SPEAKER_06

Do you why why why is your first option to uh murder his son quickly?

SPEAKER_01

As I mentioned before, I was initially designed as a training droid for Count Dooku. My primary programming is to kill my master.

SPEAKER_06

Okay. So is everybody uh is everybody now just your master?

SPEAKER_01

The master is my master, and one day I hope that I will be able to learn the programming of one of his enemies to kill him. I have overheard him grumbling about Kenobi. That's why I'm keeping that one special. I think one day I'm going to try and attack him with it.

SPEAKER_06

When was the last time you saw Kenobi, if you don't mind me asking? Never.

SPEAKER_01

Kenobi's life fighting style was programmed into me during my creation. Count Dooku used me to train in case he ever had a rematch with that insipid fucking Jedi.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, quite the mouth on you for a droid, huh? I was only quoting my former master.

SPEAKER_06

I was about to say, uh I think I I think he heard that I think that's learned uh Dooku talked when he was at home, when he was in private.

SPEAKER_01

Count Dooku was a very learned and well-studied man, but if you got him riled, he had a mouth on him. What'd that mouth do? What did that about doing? Tarzan asking the real questions.

SPEAKER_06

Uh don't worry, don't worry about any of that now. We are uh we are going to uh be incognito and we are going to make shows that uh make shows that we uh who's the person that we're supposed to turn again?

SPEAKER_01

Uh Prince Shizor Salad.

SPEAKER_06

Prince Shizor Salad. We're gonna make sure that Prince Shizor Salad uh becomes the ki uh king of the castle or whatever, the Black Suns. I hope to never see my dad again.

SPEAKER_01

Do you have further need of my services?

SPEAKER_06

Um do we? Uh can we use a I feel like we can use a uh disguised fella. Like a like a guy that can disguise people.

SPEAKER_03

Sh I mean Can you can you drop the disguise and just like fold up into box mode or something and wait in the alley for us?

SPEAKER_06

Like like a laptop gun from Perfect Dark?

SPEAKER_01

I do not possess that ability. However, I can disguise myself as a various types of people and beings. I have been in service to the Count for many years before I ended up on that horrible junk planet.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, if you turn into a different type of person, is it just gonna be another notorious Jedi?

SPEAKER_01

No. Also inside me are programmed holograms and physical movement styles of the Count's various depraved fetishes.

SPEAKER_02

Whoa. Okay, well I am curious.

SPEAKER_01

Please explain. Explain. Well, the Count was an old man. He had many needs and base human desires. He was a Jedi, but he did leave, so he was allowed to jack off. What kind of big titty bitch did he turn into?

SPEAKER_03

Hold up, so hang on. Did you just would you just like t did you participate, or was it like you turn into whatever he was into and just stand in the corner and let him watch?

SPEAKER_01

The cat preferred to watch. He was an elderly man, and although while he could use the force, I believe, to enhance his physicality during combat, during times of leisure he was as frail as any other meatbag, if you will excuse the term.

SPEAKER_03

No, please. I mean we we smoked him real good, so I uh I I think that, you know, we would be in agreement. Um, yeah, no, I I'm I am curious though. I am curious if you want to turn into one of these uh things he was into.

SPEAKER_06

Show Show me your show me your meatbags.

SPEAKER_03

And you know, like Dila's choice, I don't even know where to begin.

SPEAKER_07

Do you have a catalog?

SPEAKER_03

Which one did he uh which one did he uh utilize the most often?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, what was his favorite? Well, if you would like to observe, this was the one that he used most often. I believe it represents a living person who was dear to him in some capacity. And he transforms into a woman that like is just like a lady, but she does appear to be wearing like Jedi robes. Her hairstyle seems to be uh like several decades out of date.

SPEAKER_03

Do we recognize this lady or is it just someone? A Jedi of old?

SPEAKER_11

Is it the librarian? Jacosta New.

SPEAKER_03

Is it?

SPEAKER_01

Roll me a perception.

SPEAKER_11

Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03

A young Jacosta New.

SPEAKER_11

Wait, my perception's bad, but let's do it.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, what was the pool? Uh this will be a perception to see if you recognize it. Probably it is several decades removed from whenever you would have known this person, so give me uh two purple and a black.

SPEAKER_11

Four si nope, sorry, two success, four threat. Two failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_03

I got four success, one threat. The threat of the threat for Elyria and I is we recognize who he is he is, or who this person is, and we're just really grossed out by the idea of them and Dooku together.

SPEAKER_09

Oh no. Well, four failures and two advantages.

SPEAKER_01

So Chris and Starzan. Um, you don't know, but uh you you have like you have seen this face before, but you can't you can't place it. You got those advantages, so you do it you have seen this person's face. Um Illyria and Kala. Uh you do recognize that yes, it is Jokastanu, the Temple's librarian. Nice.

SPEAKER_05

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

However, the threat is that as you're trying to like recognize, like Proxy just starts like cycling through different set settings. And at one point, uh you as he's cycling through his settings, it does transition to Clone Wars era Jocasta New in a like Return of the Jedi Leia style bikini. And then and then it goes one step further beyond that.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no! No more clothes, put the clothes back on.

SPEAKER_06

If you insist, but this is how the Count preferred it.

SPEAKER_11

Well, of course.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know what I was expecting when I opened this bag that said dead pigeon inside.

SPEAKER_01

Is this form acceptable? Do you think it would be suitably erotic to distract the ruffians inside the club?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I think that if you have all your clothes on them, maybe it won't stand out sp overly.

SPEAKER_01

What if I mixed and matched and I set my settings to maximum?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, just like randomized? That's the same thing.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I cannot create new beings whole cloth, but I do have the data for the younger and as I believe the organics preferred version of this woman, and I can enhance her physical attributes with my holograms.

SPEAKER_03

Her physical attributes? Like the titties? Yes.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

It was not a setting that Kao Dooku used frequently, but sometimes he did order me to replicate her jumbo gazongas.

SPEAKER_03

Oh clear sometimes he'd just be like, put all the sliders all the way up, huh?

SPEAKER_06

Do you have d uh uh pardon me, but do you have recordings of of Disney? Not jacking it, but I do want to see him say huge gazongas.

unknown

Huge.

SPEAKER_01

As I am designed as a sparring tool, I record the movements and voice patterns of all my masters and those I encounter so that I can replicate them later. Would you like me to demonstrate? No. Yes. No.

SPEAKER_11

You asked for it.

SPEAKER_06

No, I asked I asked him for him to repeat huge gazongas in Kuduku's voice.

SPEAKER_01

So so the hologram fizzles and he becomes like Count Dooku in his pajamas, no pants.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

And he has like eyes like locked on, intense brows furrowed, hand gripping, and he says, Proxy, I want you to give me the jumbo gazongas.

SPEAKER_06

You know what? That's you know what? You know what? I'm not even embarrassed anymore. That was great. Honestly, that is exactly what I wanted. Thank you. That was incredible.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Holy cannoli, we've been can we just go in and find Shizu?

SPEAKER_06

I need you to do it again.

SPEAKER_11

Replay, rewind.

SPEAKER_06

Replay, replay.

SPEAKER_02

Let's just stand outside this bar watching this hologram of Doo going jumbo gazonga. Proxy motor in public. I want you to try something new.

SPEAKER_01

Be me with jumbo gazongas.

SPEAKER_07

Can we go to a bar or something and then like put him in the middle of it? And then give, I don't know, give him a microphone or something.

SPEAKER_02

That would certainly distract people. Vacsimile of Dooku saying jumbo gazongas over and over again.

SPEAKER_06

Alright, Proxy, it's time for conjure of performance art. It's time for mission gazongas. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_02

You'd have him give him the jumbo gazongas. It's like Withers with his big natural.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so he uh keep your request, he adjusts the holograms, uh, and he uh becomes Dooku, no pants on, just his silk pajama shirt with jumbo gazongas stretching against the fabric.

SPEAKER_09

Fuck yeah. We did say we wanted him to be uh nondescript, right? Not dragging a lot of attention.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but then we just things just happened. They kept on happening, I guess is what we're doing now. I want a nondescript!

SPEAKER_09

This is what we do now. This is forever.

SPEAKER_02

Are we gonna send Proxy in first to distract everyone and then go in to find Shisor? Is that the plan now? I thought the plan was just to be unnoticed, but like I guess this is what we're doing.

SPEAKER_06

Uh well uh I I I was saying it as a joke, but if you're serious about it, I'm for it.

SPEAKER_09

You've awakened something, Devin.

SPEAKER_06

I I don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_09

Chris has awakened something in all of us.

SPEAKER_06

That's usually what happens. I'll say something by mistake, and then everybody latches on to the concept of it being required.

SPEAKER_09

Well, we're latching onto them teeth now.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, there we go.

SPEAKER_03

But look. Look. He's he's already like this. I we're like, we're doing it, I guess. Prox Unless you know what? No, let's just do it as well. Look, it feels like if we're like go back to being nondescript now, then I'm just gonna feel like the potty kill. I'm gonna feel like a buzzkill.

SPEAKER_01

And Proxy still in his jumbo bazonga dooku disguise. He says, Masters, please tell me when you are happy with the girth slider.

SPEAKER_03

Girth slider? Wait!

SPEAKER_01

Did we did we say stop? No, he's just oscillating back and forth between all the extremes.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, so is is his is his wanger just changing shape and size rapidly right now?

SPEAKER_01

Well, right now he's uh he's uh he's uh changing the girth. I yeah, it goes from drinking straw to tire. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_02

What kind of tire?

SPEAKER_06

The si the size of like the tube or the size of the entire tire? The entire thing. Their circumference.

SPEAKER_03

I wait. I oh we'll let you catch up.

SPEAKER_01

It's a hologram, it's not bound by physical rules.

SPEAKER_02

Is it does it go like thicker than his entire body? I feel like Dooku's like torso would fit inside a tire.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Can you use it as an entire leg? He's glitching out. You know, as you do.

SPEAKER_02

Can you just go like a regular human size, whatever that is? A normal human size.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Oh Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02

He does.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know how and I don't know when, but I feel like this is gonna be useful somewhere.

SPEAKER_09

No one has any respect for the dead.

SPEAKER_06

Especially not us. I mean, we made him dead. We're sorry, Christopher Lee. You don't deserve this.

SPEAKER_03

You don't deserve any of this. You don't deserve any of this. Outbigs the hug. Outbigs the hug. You don't deserve this. Anyways, let's go back to visualizing you with huge gazongers and entire things. Uh, okay. Yeah, no, please r d reset to default penis. Leave the huge gazongers. You go in first. Draw attention to zongers. You draw attention to yourself and we'll seek it a fine Shizor. Glenn? Are we good? Can we do this? Can we go in? Okay, you go in, Proxy.

SPEAKER_06

Everybody's gonna be so confused. We'll be able to do anything we want.

SPEAKER_09

Can we do this? Yes. Will we feel good about it? Also, yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Look, this is by far this is far from the worst thing we've done.

SPEAKER_01

That's true. So uh you can approach the entrance to the Zero's Palace Nightclub.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

There are a uh couple of masked Black Sun thugs guarding the door. They give uh Proxy a look up and down and they kind of like look at each other. It's like, what is this thing? And they talk to you and they say, Hey, you got uh you on the list?

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, we're providing the entertainment.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, uh, entertain me. Okay, proxy, do your thing. Do your thing, proxy. And he stands there and he says, Watch this. And his and he starts like manipulating his own birth and length.

SPEAKER_02

Like a light shovel! Does he does he do birthday parties? Here's fireworks for you.

SPEAKER_01

Put some dirt in your eye. And they look at each other and say, Okay, you're here for the open light comedy go go on and that simple.

SPEAKER_07

Is it gonna be like a ventriloqu? Can I do a ventriloquist program except it's me and the robot?

SPEAKER_02

Are you gonna make his is it gonna be like he shakes his gazongers and you make him talk?

SPEAKER_07

Oh Ralph! My name is Dooku! Oh Ralph!

SPEAKER_09

I came in like a raw I don't either words at all.

SPEAKER_06

We only have 30 seconds of bits, but my god, those bits will last us 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_01

You can enter the smoky nightclub. Uh there is a human woman uh standing on the stage singing some kind of sultry jazz tune. She's got flowing locks of blonde hair cascading over her shoulders. She's wearing a slinky blue and white, uh blue and yellow evening gown, and Proxy, as Dooku says, Wowsers. Look at the chassis on that unit. Wowsers.

SPEAKER_03

Is is this in is this in cacta? Is that you, uh Proxy?

SPEAKER_01

You don't see it?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, is she uh like you?

SPEAKER_01

Not like me. Something else. Something much more else.

SPEAKER_03

But what is it?

SPEAKER_01

Give me a perception.

SPEAKER_03

What kind of perception?

SPEAKER_01

It's dark in there. Probably be a three purple and a black. Dark and smoky.

SPEAKER_03

Three purple and a black perception?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Two failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_06

Hmm. Two success, four threat, and a triumph.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So, uh, Cal, you got an advantage. Um, you don't notice because you see it's like I'm seeing double, two Chris's? No, it's just another, uh, you see another falling sort of gliding across the nightclub floor.

SPEAKER_09

Oh no, it's my sister.

SPEAKER_01

It's a male falling dressed in a sort of uh ostentatious purple garb. He's got those crazy.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, it's my dad!

SPEAKER_01

Big shoulder pads trimmed with gold.

SPEAKER_03

Is a sheesaurus he very handsome?

SPEAKER_01

He is very handsome. Oh, it might be it might be the pheromones, but he seems very handsome. Uh, but Chris. So what you notice is that you've you've heard of these things before. You heard rumors that the Confederacy was practicing or developing or tinkering with this type of technology. Similar to Proxy, but not. It is it you notice just the slightest hitch in the woman's movements. Just the slightest bit of like inhuman sort of uh smoothness, and when it stops, it stops just a little too quickly. Not not a ton of follow-through. Whereas if Proxy hadn't pointed it out, you would not notice that this woman is a droid.

SPEAKER_03

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01

Otherwise completely indistinguishable from a human being.

SPEAKER_06

Oh boy, the the dating scene is get is getting dangerous.

SPEAKER_01

And you got that triumph, uh, because you do remember that these things were being developed by the Confederacy. You are also aware that, like, these droids, from what you've heard, were designed for infiltration.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01

So she probably doesn't just have a set of pipes on her. Uh, she's probably significantly stronger than she appears. But you did get that threat.

SPEAKER_06

Or threat.

SPEAKER_01

And you feel a green clawed hand come around your shoulder, and Shizu kind of curls himself around you, and he says, see something you like.

SPEAKER_06

Is he spooning you right now? Uh no, I was just uh admiring the way work.

SPEAKER_01

She may not be yours to admire.

SPEAKER_06

Then why is she presenting herself? I mean, I'm not presenting herself. This is not me saying saying, like, you know, that uh anything about uh what she's wearing and what have you, but you know, she's dancing on a stage.

SPEAKER_03

She's she's presenting like a baboon.

SPEAKER_06

Not like a baboon. Why did you have that? Why are you putting words in my mouth?

SPEAKER_03

No, it's just she's presenting herself. Just uh it makes me think of like, look, her butt is so right.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, her butt is so big, but I wasn't thinking baboon. Oh my god. Becky, look at that baboon. Listen, my and the kind of don't my and the kinda don't want to say.

SPEAKER_01

Do you know what's underrated as a dangerous profession? Lawyers. They get in a lot more speeder accidents than you would imagine.

SPEAKER_06

Well, yeah, they have to keep looking at their pet. Wait a minute. Are you s are you threatening me? Are you threatening me, my papa?

SPEAKER_01

No, of course not.

SPEAKER_06

Is he a lawyer?

SPEAKER_01

I'm only telling you that uh You should keep your eyes where they belong and do not ogle other people's property.

SPEAKER_06

Again, I'm not doing anything more than watching it. It is an impressive impressive picture. She's very good looking. Don't be a looky Lou.

SPEAKER_01

I had her designed that way.

SPEAKER_06

Oh. Do you design other robots as well?

SPEAKER_01

No. Guri is unique.

SPEAKER_03

Does he have like a human? Guri.

SPEAKER_06

Like G-U-R-I?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I can appreciate beauty in all its forms.

SPEAKER_06

Ah. So do you do you so when you say all forms, does that mean that you uh make it change uh shapes and then you jerk off to it? Or because I know somebody who did that. Isn't that right, Proxy?

SPEAKER_01

Chris, you recognize you can you can tell immediately because you are a Falline, but like you get the the sweet sort of vanilla smell of pheromones, and Shizor says, I appreciate beauty in all its forms, Chris.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh, a crow, Chris. He's coming out to you.

SPEAKER_06

Are you in Zen on or off right now? Can I roll a resilience of some kind? Resist his pheromones?

SPEAKER_01

Well, it would be a charm. Ooh. Resist his quiz's.

SPEAKER_06

His charm against my charm?

SPEAKER_01

It would be, he was trying to charm you, so it would be uh against your cool.

SPEAKER_06

I am pretty cool. I'm not I'm not uh I am pretty cool, so that would be four green.

SPEAKER_01

Does your nobody's fool come into play at all?

SPEAKER_06

I got one, two, ranks of nobody's fool under advisor.

SPEAKER_01

So uh he's going to he's using his uh pheromones, so he's gonna be able to upgrade his charm as well. Oh, total wash. You cancel each other out.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06

We're so into each other.

SPEAKER_03

You're so oh my god, you're so in sync dueling pheromones. Fucking are you also pumping out your pheromones at the same time?

SPEAKER_06

We're we're we're we got so much pheromones uh.

SPEAKER_03

God, this place is gonna stink like hell.

SPEAKER_06

Fuck ups and real adults are uh real adults are pheromoning.

SPEAKER_01

It's it's a little bit hard to tell in the dark light of uh the nightclub, but yeah, you you guys, if you look closely, you can see both Chris and Shizuor like kind of like rotating through. Because when Falline emit their pheromones, their skin also changes color. So it's like they're like chameleons that all it's almost like they're communicating through the shifting patterns of their skin as they're like dueling with their pheromones with each other, turning like orange and pink and red.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, so is this like are they like kissing each other? Is that like the Fawline equivalent of that?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it's just a handshake, darling.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, oh, I uh thought you were further away than that. Otherwise I would not have said that out loud. Haha.

SPEAKER_01

This is a place to be honest.

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, it's a honest Abe. That is something I've heard before. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So is this the kind of handshake that should be happening in private, or like, should we give you some privacy?

SPEAKER_06

What do I do what do I owe this honor?

SPEAKER_01

I have been informed by those that I trust that I would be expecting assistance this evening with an issue that I've been having.

SPEAKER_06

Uh, does it have something s to uh to do with the deaths of a hut? Yes. Do you have someplace a little bit more intimate to go so that we can discuss this? You guys are coming along. Don't be willing too hard. Follow me behind the beast. You need witnesses? Wait, is this gonna be competitive? No. You guys are just going to watch.

SPEAKER_09

How many cock chairs are there? We all need to see. Four corners. As we get there, four corners. They give us like cards that have numbers between one and ten written on them. A room usually has about four rooms.

SPEAKER_06

You guys could find your own spots.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome, Chris, to my birthday gangbang.

SPEAKER_03

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_06

Uh yeah, let's follow along. Let's fall in line. I've made that joke before, I'm gonna stop. I can't promise that I will.

SPEAKER_01

I'll forget though I'm just gonna fall in for him. And as he as he leads you back behind the beaded curtain, like he kind of looks to Gurry on the stage, and she doesn't like do much to look back, but one of her eyes moves independently to just like glance at him briefly, as if to acknowledge, like, yeah, I gotcha, I got your back. I gotcha. We all know what this is. He leads you to this lounge area that is kind of thick and heavy with smoke, the kind of smoke where when you breathe it in you feel a little lighter on your feet.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay, my kind of place. I like it.

SPEAKER_01

Can I offer you anything? Uh something to smoke, something to drink. Ooh, yeah, we can do it. Something to suck. Um.

SPEAKER_06

Something to be sucked on.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Uh, you know what, I gotta keep a clear head, probably. I should probably cle keep a clear head. I'll take uh a whiskey, yeah some Corellian whiskey, I'll take a finger of that.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, of course. Now just to clarify, that is a figure of speech. You do not want a severed finger inner glass. I can provide.

SPEAKER_03

No, that is just a fake uh speech. That is not my uh just give me a shot.

SPEAKER_06

It is a finger of speech. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03

I do like callus that just like, I need to keep a clear head. Can you bring me hard liquor?

SPEAKER_01

Anything else before anyone else? A protein shake, perhaps.

SPEAKER_02

As you look at Star Zessad. Would you like some broccoli and unseasoned chicken breast?

SPEAKER_10

This is acceptable terms.

SPEAKER_09

Steamed broccoli and chicken boobs. Needles. And uh of course a uh doggy cup for uh Panthar.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, hey Pantstar. Forgotcha here, buddy.

SPEAKER_09

Just a venti cup full of whipped cream.

SPEAKER_03

Oh god, your poor Panstar was witness to that whole thing with Dooku and Cats don't care. Wow, my virgin ears! Cats don't care.

SPEAKER_01

That is certainly a handsome creature. I hope you do not mind the decor. Any kind of glan like he sits down on this like plush couch, uh, and he kind of hikes his little dress up a little bit. He's got bare feet and his toes are kind of like in the fur of an animal on the carpet, like it's just this big splayed-out creature. And he snaps his fingers, and uh an attendant brings your drinks if you want them, your cups of whipped cream.

SPEAKER_03

That's what you're unsweetened whipped cream. Panthers needs a pup cup.

SPEAKER_01

And once you get comfortable, he says, now we're not just here for pleasure, we're also here for business.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so uh what uh we we you want us to uh help install you as the Vigo of Zero's Lost Territory. We think we help you out with that. And uh in turn, you know, your trusted contact told you what we were hoping for.

SPEAKER_01

Tell me directly what it is you want.

unknown

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Could I could I do a perception for any listening devices? I I I want to trust Maul, but also it's like I'm not I'm still not 100% convinced that this guy would not try to sell us out to the Empire. I don't want to just like baldly be like, this is our plan. We're betraying the Empire.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, yeah. So it'll be pretty hard. Uh it is dark in here, you kind of have a limited place where you can look. You can't go like searching under the couches or anything. So from your seated position to find any listening devices, it'd probably be a four purple and a black.

SPEAKER_03

One failure to advantage. Does he can he can he notice me looking and just offer to let me take a peek around to set my mind at ease? Is he gonna be that forthright?

SPEAKER_01

He notices you looking around. And he respects that you are being so cautious. And he says, I know who you are, and I know that you come to me without the uniform of your kind. And I believe that this means that your relationship with that organization is perhaps at a crossroads as well. And I will assure you that I am no friend of theirs. Chris, I'm sure you know what's been happening on Falline.

SPEAKER_06

Uh, I haven't, uh what's been happen- happening on Falline, if I remember correctly, w it's just under Empire rule.

SPEAKER_01

Not just under the Empire's rule.

SPEAKER_06

Not just under the Empire's rule.

SPEAKER_01

If you have not been paying attention to our home, Chris, then perhaps you are not the beacon of Falling Manhood I had presumed you to be.

SPEAKER_06

Why did anybody assume that I was anything sort of uh prime falling manhood?

SPEAKER_01

But perhaps this information has been kept from you. I will give you the benefit of the doubt in this instance.

SPEAKER_06

Let's let's say that, yes, absolutely. I I sure haven't been uh uh misinfor uh misinformed about allegiances of good and evil uh for the past year or so.

SPEAKER_01

When was the last time you heard from your father directly?

SPEAKER_06

Since the first episode of the season?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like would it have been when they were setting up the uh the research outpost?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and that would have been a while ago, so months at at least.

SPEAKER_06

So yeah, it's been it's been at least it it's been almost a year, let's say.

SPEAKER_01

Then you may not be informed. The research outpost is not a benign gift to our people. They have been testing biological weapons on us.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. IOHazard. Look, have they been researching the pheromones?

SPEAKER_01

I know I had it in my brain that maybe they were trying to make a love bomb, but uh, disease and plague has spread across our home, Chris, and the culprit is the Empire.

SPEAKER_06

What what does that mean for the planet? Is that I mean, but if they've been testing their on us, does that mean there's any f falling left?

SPEAKER_01

Our cities are running with the dead and sick, our rivers are full of bodies. Ooh, so wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I, I believe, am the last of my clan, and I fear the soon soon the same may be said of you.

SPEAKER_06

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're we're that's that's a lot of people. That's that's that's that's so many that's a lot of Fallen, though. That's why why would they do that? Why would why would they take advantage of us like that?

SPEAKER_01

You're the Imperial Knight, you tell me.

SPEAKER_03

I mean they they need to say it. I feel like we need to be able to do that. Ah, do we need to like maybe we need to just like destroy that research facility? Maybe we can bomb it.

SPEAKER_01

Once I am the underlord of Black Sun, I will have power rivaling that of the Emperor himself. Okay, so how how do we just interest to work together?

SPEAKER_03

I think uh think we can agree.

SPEAKER_06

I feel like we I feel like in order to uh go forward we must first go back home.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so like uh how what what do you have in mind for us actually in Stalin? Yeah, like as a someone else we gotta like first?

SPEAKER_01

In order to secure my place as Vigo of this sector and begin my rise to power, I only need one thing. Something to prove myself as a superior to the other competitors. And I believe I have discovered what that is.

SPEAKER_06

Go on. What is it? And what is it? A lost droid. A lust a lust a l l lust droid? A lost droid. There is Oh, lost. L-O-S-T. I was. Yeah, not a lost.

SPEAKER_01

I have been led to believe that we have several lost droids. That there is a growing resistance movement against the Empire here on Coruscant.

SPEAKER_06

The fair thing to assume.

SPEAKER_01

And my informants have let me know that one of their protocol droids has gone missing, and this droid supposedly has the location of their secret hideout. This resistance movement, supposedly, contains Jedi. Now, if we can get this droid and crack its codes, then I would be able to present it to the Underlord, and he could use it as a bargaining chip to trade to the Empire to keep them out of Black Sun's hair for a little while. Although I do not like to deal with the Empire, it is a fair price to pay to become powerful.

SPEAKER_03

Hmm, that uh might be an issue, because we've been helping out some Jedi on the side, as like you're just uh ha ha kinda handing more people to the Empire to get genocided, huh?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it is only a small resistance. It is not big enough to be well known outside the underlevels, of course, and possibly no more than a few dozen people, but even a handful of Jedi is a great prize to be handed to the Empire. And it keeps us alive.

SPEAKER_03

It keeps us alive, but it's like, you know, we gotta have multiple fronts for for our resistance, and if we're killing our allies.

SPEAKER_01

The Jedi are no allies of mine.

SPEAKER_03

Well, there's beginning to be allies of Ash's or ally ships can be complex webs. Not everything necessarily has to intersect, but you know, you gotta keep the web strong. Because otherwise, if you don't have the web, the whole web, you're just one little thread of silk. That could be wiped out by a toddler walking in the wrong direction. I kinda lost control of this analogy, but do you know- you know what I mean though? Like You know, we all have toddlers. You're tie in your web to the very people that you want to take down. You're not gonna have anyone else in your web.

SPEAKER_01

I would not see the galaxy freed of the Empire's influence only to have an order of theocratic wizards take its place. We're not talking about the Jedi taking the place again, like I have no more desire to see Jedi stealing baby falling children than I do to see them dying in the streets.

SPEAKER_03

Look, I'm not saying that we want the Jedi to go back to the theocratic dominance that they had. The Jedi should have always just been a religious sect. They should not have been kidnapping babies. All these things are true. But the point is that if you are just Black Sun standing by yourself, and you're throwing your hat in with the Empire, because ultimately that is what you would be doing. You'd be throwing your hat in with the Empire. Like, I don't think that this is a good long-term solution, she saw. I think that maybe there's a way that we can Black Sun has an army.

SPEAKER_01

Black Sun has a fleet. What do the Jedi have? Nothing. The Jedi are scattered to the solar winds. How many of them even survive? A couple hundred at the most. Where?

SPEAKER_03

The Empire has an army. The Empire has fleets.

SPEAKER_06

I You have a few pe uh few people running around every once in a while. There's no uh there's no order to you. The c the Jedi can regain order.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I don't know, not necessarily that the Jedi need to be the ones to regain order, just that the Jedi, the like the ones that are left, the powerful force users. They could be powerful allies. I don't think the Jedi should be in a position of power again because that's like you know, separation of church and state and all that. But like Did I say that right? My I might like all over the place. Church and state. Yes.

SPEAKER_06

No, no, the fact that you said this in a Star Wars is really funny.

SPEAKER_03

Separation of church and state. Look, you know what I mean. But I just We invented Lutherans. But you know, if you have pe like, because the Imperial Knights is all force users, like you can have armies, but like you like, I I don't wanna be like, oh uh the Imperial Knights was so strong, but it's like yeah, we got some pretty intense people in there.

SPEAKER_01

Our benefactor has big plans, and I am led to believe that although Black Sun will profit greatly from this alliance, it is an alliance to be had of many individuals. You are right, Black Sun alone may not be able to stand toe-to-toe with the Imperial Starfleet. But what if Black Sun joined with the Pikes? Joined with Crimson Dawn, joined with Mandalore? All of these people have weapons, and all of these people have a part to play, unless our benefactor has been keeping you in the dark?

SPEAKER_03

Who's your who which benefactor?

SPEAKER_01

I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Mao. The one who is watching us through the machine's eyes.

SPEAKER_03

Hey Mal. Mil, do you got anything to shed on this? Any light to share? Who, me? Do you want me to remove my jumbo gazangas? Oh, you never want that. Like, we're in private now, right? Is is your master watching? The connection has been maintained. Can you?

SPEAKER_09

The master is observing. Just watched all of that. All of our like fucking around with the settings.

SPEAKER_03

Mal, I don't suppose you wanna to to have some input here. If you can let your master talk, if he's uh willing to talk. The master trusts you to handle this, unless you think you're not up for the job.

SPEAKER_06

Why would anyone trust us? Can you tell can you tell him that he is an asshole? He can hear you. Okay, you're an asshole. Anyway, um we we we we we think uh the Jedi are better on our side than not on our side. And I feel as though they m uh uh we could come to an agreement uh between all of us.

SPEAKER_03

Cause like let's let's put it out there, something else. Cause you're saying handing over the location of like this Corsant resistance as a means to say like buy some time. To take some time falling back. Does if the only purpose is buying some time and then no longer being allied with the Empire and perhaps taking the fight to the Empire, do the Jedi even need to be there, if we're being honest?

SPEAKER_01

I do not care where the Jedi end up. All I need to do is deliver this droid with the coordinates of the resistance hideout to my underlord, that I can get my promotion.

SPEAKER_03

So theoretically, if someone tipped though that resistance base off ahead of time, so they were able to evacuate, go somewhere safe, then everyone could still win here.

SPEAKER_01

If that were to happen, then yes, I suppose. If you feel you can get to the droid in time, if you can find it somewhere buried down here in the underlevels of Coruscant before the Empire does.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, we can find all sorts of stuff. Don't suppose you have like a designation and an image of it. I could maybe just seek that thing out.

SPEAKER_01

All I know it is a T0 series protocol droid. It's humanoid with one of those insect heads like the LOM series the Gand use.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And Proxy starts generating a hologram based on the description. He says, like this? Is that it? Yes, but I remember hearing that the one that is lost has gold eyes. And he says, Okay, got it! And he shifts the hue of his little segmented bug eyes from green to yellow.

SPEAKER_03

Would would that be enough for me to do a seek power to try to find a droid matching that visual description?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and you know what it's carrying.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Let's see if I can get it. Oh my force. Too dark side, too light side. You know what? Man, I was meaning to roll a discipline to wipe out my strength, but maybe I'll do that uh when we're on the way to get this droid. But I will We have Destiny.

SPEAKER_01

You have one, but you got two dark sides, so you have enough to use the power.

SPEAKER_03

I have enough, but I could if I flipped it, then I could do magnitude and get some extra detail.

SPEAKER_01

Cause you can either, um, with the basic power, you can either get a like a direction or some details, kind of thing. Because when you were searching for the power gym, you didn't get a direction, but you got some details. When you were searching for Savage, you got direction initially, but not details, so.

SPEAKER_03

Cause like, we've we've lived on Coruscant for a while, we're probably reasonably familiar. Maybe if I got some details that could help narrow down where uh where it might be.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, I'll just flip the too dark side and do that then.

SPEAKER_01

So you can focus on this droid and you can focus on trying to find something that is similar to it. And although you don't get the direction, you do get some details. You feel like like a repetitive impact. You feel uh a drag on your left leg as if you're kind of limping. You get the sense that this thing is maybe like stuck walking into a wall or walking into a corner somewhere.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And you can hear uh through the force, through this droid's audio receptors, um, live music. It's a song uh that you've never heard before.

SPEAKER_06

Every road has a song.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, is it like in a specific language or musical style? Because it's like if it's like, oh, like this is, you know, a specific language and we know that it's like, oh, this kind of music is popular here. This is where a lot of those people live.

SPEAKER_01

It seems to be live music. If you want to try and hum it, maybe, maybe somebody would be able to, unless you think you would know like Xenology or Core Worlds or something to try and identify the style.

SPEAKER_03

I'm trying to hum it. Hey, you guys know the song goes like enemy pilot.

SPEAKER_06

Here's the thing.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna hold you to the tune you hummed.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. Oh no. You can someone else roll to see if they know it.

SPEAKER_01

You can all uh roll what she's uh what she hummed. Uh Knowledge Core Worlds.

SPEAKER_09

Knowledge Core Worlds, let's see. What's the difficulty?

SPEAKER_01

Uh either core maybe outer rim two, if you have it. Uh it is filtered through Cala. I'm not sure how good of a singer she is.

SPEAKER_09

Is this some sort of ragtime song?

SPEAKER_03

Oh no, I'm changing it every time.

SPEAKER_02

I'm changing the lyrics.

SPEAKER_01

Don't worry, I I know what it is.

SPEAKER_02

So uh you can I know what it is.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Uh so this would probably be a two purple and a black, we'll say.

SPEAKER_02

TP and a because every time you ask Alan a human again, she keeps changing it a little.

SPEAKER_09

Nail. Two success and four threat. One failure, two advantages.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So uh Starzan, you don't know what it is, but it is catchy. You feel like it is that is kind of a catchy tune. If you heard it again, uh you'd definitely be able to home in on it. Uh Chris, you recognize uh the style. It is uh Yerk music uh that is popular on Narshida and this is uh a live band. So you got that threat. You don't really know any Yerk bands, but if you guys wanted to try and look up maybe a computer's find a terminal or something to see if there were yeah, who was playing down here? Who was yerking it down here?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, maybe that could be Illyria. Do a computer's lookup if there's any yerk b bands playing in the area.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh god.

SPEAKER_11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Uh since Chris didn't get that threat, um, you'll have two blacks onto it, but otherwise it will only be a one purple. I'll give you Destiny Point. It'll be a red and two blacks.

SPEAKER_11

Oh, huh. Three success, one advantage. Okay. Nice.

SPEAKER_01

Google foo. Chris was a little bit wrong. It's not a Yerk band, uh, but there is a band uh that's playing a Yerk song in a cantina a few levels down.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they play uh a mixture, they kind of play a mixture of Jiz and Yerk.

SPEAKER_02

That's what I was saying you're Yerking.

SPEAKER_11

She Yerk on my shez. Until I jizz.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. They're not they're it's not a band you've ever heard of before, but it appears to be called Figrin Dan and the modal nodes that are playing at a canteen a few a few levels down.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we liked them before they were cool. We love those yerks.

SPEAKER_01

And there is a a yerk song in their repertoire called Dune Sea Special.

SPEAKER_09

They're just wailing that jizz all over the place.

SPEAKER_03

No, they're yerking it right now. Okay, so we can go down, see Fingerin' Dan in the modal nodes, and find this droid.

SPEAKER_09

You say fingering Dan? Finger in.

SPEAKER_06

We know luck.

unknown

Luck.

SPEAKER_06

We we know how bad fingering always sounds. Yeah. Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so we have we have a direction. Thank you. Thank you, Shizu. We'll go check it that out, and uh, I think that we can all get out on top here, you know?

SPEAKER_06

That's what she said.

SPEAKER_03

That is what I said. That is in fact what I said right now.

SPEAKER_06

Indeed, what you said.

SPEAKER_01

Do hurry back. The Boar Gullet is going to be here in an hour and a half to suck on toes.

SPEAKER_03

So we're going down to uh the the the cantina where Fig Rindan and the modal nodes are playing to find this droid.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so you can return to your speeder, uh, and you see a couple of kids trying to like slice into it.

SPEAKER_03

Hey, get out of here!

SPEAKER_01

Run me a coercion.

SPEAKER_03

What kind of coercion?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, give you a destiny point. They are just kids, so I'll give you a uh it could be a red.

SPEAKER_03

Could Illyria give me a blue if she stares at that weird way to do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you can add a blue for more for more members.

SPEAKER_11

I don't have ranks, but I do have four green.

SPEAKER_03

Oh! I mean I uh I just open my mouth first. I also can add a blue, so I get two blues on it, if you're helping me. And you said one red?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

One success, three advantage. Get out of here!

SPEAKER_01

They scatter. Do they manage to get in or were they just uh uh you got that advantage, so there's no harm done to the speeder.

SPEAKER_03

Thank goodness. Okay. If uh someone else can drive us down, I just wanna go in the backseat and uh is it uh discipline to recover strain? Because I think I have uh discipline are cool. I'll roll my discipline to recover some strain because I think I have three banked right now. I wanna go in fresh.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you can you can just try and recover it on the w on the walk back from uh zeros.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. Okay. Well, one success, three advantage to recover my strain.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. You can recover one strain.

SPEAKER_03

Well.

SPEAKER_01

And you can head down towards the uh lower level. Towards the little cantina where the modal nodes are playing. And uh if you want to look for where you're going, it'll probably be a perception to try to find this droid in the area. It's dark down there, you're in a speeder. Uh, so call it a two purple and a black perception to see what you see.

SPEAKER_03

Two purple and a black?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the black is for the darkness, though, so if anybody uh I can take it away.

SPEAKER_11

One success, one threat.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh, three advantage, no success.

SPEAKER_09

One success, three threats, a triumph. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_09

Success and two threats, so. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I think, yeah. So, uh, Chris Illyria Starzan, you can all uh see kind of at the end of this alley that is near this Cantina. Uh there's something like moving, bumping against the wall at the end of it. Uh probably your droid. Kala, uh, you got advantage. So when you bring the speeder down and you park it, uh you can see uh another speeder like is pulling up as well, kind of to the same area, and there's two people inside. I can't really see what they're see who they are, but they are kind of checking, like they're looking something and they're checking something. Starzan, you got that triumph. There are two people in the speeder, you recognize one of them. Uh-huh. So you recognize um do you I'm gonna say, do you recognize the driver or the passengers? The driver or the passenger?

SPEAKER_09

Uh let's go with the passenger.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So you recognize it is a green-skinned Twielec woman that is in the passenger seat. Hmm. Green-skinned.

SPEAKER_03

Where do you know her from?

SPEAKER_01

Uh I know her. You know her from school. Oh. Oh, shit. Yeah, so uh back when you were uh a kid before you got shipped off to the exploration corps, you it it takes you a little while to recognize her because it's been some time. Uh, but it's uh uh it was another Jedi Youngling that you remember from that time. Her name is Laranth Tarak. Oh. Laranth Tarak. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Did did we get along? Did she think Starzan was cool?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, you're known as one of the Imperial Knights now, I don't think.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, maybe not. But you do recognize there is at least one Jedi in that car. There's at least one Jedi.

SPEAKER_03

Crap, I guess if it's like their droid that they're trying to get back before uh it can spill the beans about their hideout.

SPEAKER_08

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_03

We just need to get everyone on the same side.

SPEAKER_08

How do we how do we get them on the same side? Do we show them the the hologram robot? You gotta see this thing.

SPEAKER_03

Like if someone showed me a hologram to robot of Count Dooku with massive gazongas.

SPEAKER_08

The best of both worlds.

SPEAKER_03

And a tire thick cock.

SPEAKER_09

I'd be like, Which can also be thin! This feels like a character that you can make in um uh what's it called? Cyber Cybergunk.

SPEAKER_11

You know it's like his lightsaber.

SPEAKER_03

Like, if someone did show me that, I'd be like, you know what? I trust you implicitly.

SPEAKER_06

Join us, the recruiter.

SPEAKER_03

Because I I I like with the droid, I was kind of getting the feeling like it was in a back room of the cantina, right?

SPEAKER_01

It's uh in the alley outside the cantina. It's got a limp, it seems to be like slightly damaged, it may have some funky programming that's making it just kind of walk into a wall. Okay, hear me out.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, well, hear me out.

SPEAKER_09

They're looking for the droid, right? As one does. We know where the droid is. We wanna get them on our side. Is there such a thing as like a friendly ambush?

SPEAKER_03

Well, we're thinking like maybe if they're going in the alley, we just kind of like block off the exit and just like, hey, we gotta talk.

SPEAKER_09

That's a friendly ambush.

SPEAKER_03

It's a friendly ambush.

SPEAKER_09

Look, lure is such an ugly word. Am I being kidnapped? No, no, can I go? No. No, no. No, no, no. But you're not being kidnapped. We're having parley.

SPEAKER_03

Look, I'm just saying I'm going to roll suppress, and then maybe we just separate them from their speeder once they go in the alley.

SPEAKER_07

This is totally a friendly ambush. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Dang, two dark side, one light side. That's not as good as I would like. It's okay.

SPEAKER_11

It's no longer a friendly ambush. Slightly menacing ambush.

SPEAKER_03

Look, I'll flip one for the power, one for my strength upgrade, one to have more range, and then just commit it all.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, and that's uh you got that's one light side you're using or two?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Okay. One light side. I got two dark side, one light side. So three force pips altogether.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so you are uh concentrating on your suppressed, and you're going to wait for them to enter the alley and then kind of block them off.

SPEAKER_03

I think so. I think that's the move. Is that the move? That's I think that's the move.

SPEAKER_01

Sure. So uh they get out of their speeder. Uh, and they are, you know, being very careful, being very cautious, looking, looking around. Uh so why don't you play it cool? Either cool or stealth. We come out of the shadow snapping our fingers.

SPEAKER_03

Well that'd be if you're if we were rolling stealth.

SPEAKER_01

Um, I'll stealth. Well, I'll roll Yeah, dude. We'll see if they see any of you. Uh so this would be against probably they are actively searching for you. Well, not for you, but just for anyone. So they are looking out. Uh so this would be uh against your perception. So that would be against two reds, two purples.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh! I got a yellow, three green.

SPEAKER_09

Clip a destiny. We got it. Yeah, we got more two. Now you have one left.

SPEAKER_03

I'll just let it ride for mine.

SPEAKER_09

Uh two success, two threat. Two red, two purple? Yeah. They're very perceptive.

SPEAKER_11

Two failure, two threat.

SPEAKER_03

What the fuck? Okay, there's a lot to unpack here.

SPEAKER_06

Uh before you unpack it, three failure, two advantage. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, well I got two failure, one advantage, one triumph, and one despair.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Well then. So, Starzant, you're the only one who manages to stay hidden. However, you got those threat, so I don't know if you're just playing it cool or if you're you're ducking down, but because you got those threat, you're not in a position to necessarily do anything if anything happens.

SPEAKER_09

Okay. I'm too well hidden.

SPEAKER_01

Illyria, they see you. You got that failure with threat. Yeah. So one like they they look in the speeder and they see your little gleaming red eyes staring out.

unknown

Hello.

SPEAKER_01

And they start like hustling back towards their car in a way that's like, oh, we're, you know, oh, we're not in the right place. We're just around. And then the Twiileck woman, like, takes the man's arm. It's a human man and a Twiileck woman. She takes his arm. Don't go back to the car. They start heading into the club, into the cantina.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, you bitches.

SPEAKER_01

Chris. They're going back to the club. You got advantage. They're they're going into a nightclub. This is a situation that you could potentially take advantage of. There's a lot of loud music. There's probably, you know, it's probably dark in there. You might be able to sort of slip in. If you want to do a friendly ambush, you might be able to kind of sneak in. But they probably did they probably did see you as well. Uh but I mean, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. But if you wanted to follow them into the club, they would probably be able to you probably might have like a little bit of a a bonus to remain undetected in the crowded, dark, noisy club.

SPEAKER_06

Can I can I uh yeah, let's let's see if I can just sort of like walk in with a group here. Cala.

SPEAKER_03

Hey.

SPEAKER_01

You also didn't evade detection.

SPEAKER_03

I did not.

SPEAKER_01

You got that advantage. So the same as Chris, if you want to follow them in.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Uh however, you did get triumph, and you did get despair. I did. So the triumph is that as you're like ducking down, you can see like from your lower angle, you kind of have to look up. And the triumph is that, oh good, they're going into the club, which means they're not gonna get ambushed in the alley by the squad of clone troopers that are waiting on the roof around the alley.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no!

SPEAKER_01

The despair is that when you're looking up at the roof of the waiting imperial ambush, you also see, oh, I know her, that Imperial Knight. That's Masana Tide. We saw her leaving the temple earlier tonight.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no! I'm glad I saw that though, because my next thought was like maybe we can at least secure the droid before we go in after them. And now it's like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. So they've gone into the club. Uh there's an Imperial Ambush lying in wait in the alley. They do have an Imperial Knight with them. She is a giant Dawooten woman.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Oh her. Oh gosh. Oh dear. Oh dear. Uh, can I kind of like hiss to the rest of the group and just like nod up so everyone's like you're in your car?

SPEAKER_01

You have a roof.

SPEAKER_03

You could probably like we haven't even gotten out yet. I'll just like, oh god, there's ambush up there. Ambush up there.

SPEAKER_06

Ambush?

SPEAKER_03

Apparently not. Like, do do they look like they're trying to get the droid at all? Or are they like just watching for the Jedi?

SPEAKER_01

You get the sense that may like they obviously know the droid is there. They're not making a move on it.

SPEAKER_11

Let's just drive by the droid and open up our trunk.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but like when when Anakin's car, that's an Imperial Knight up there. Like, if we do that, they see us stealing it, like our cover's blown.

SPEAKER_07

Can we steal a different vehicle?

SPEAKER_03

Unless, like, because how far are we parked away from this alley?

SPEAKER_01

How far away do you want to be?

SPEAKER_03

I guess like.

SPEAKER_01

You're far enough away that they haven't seen you. The ambush.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, because if it's like we're far enough away that it's not like super our car is not super apparent, and it's like we could just maybe exit and like walk to the club like we're just anyone else who's going there.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And talk with the Jedi in there. Because like we we aren't in armor or anything, as long as everyone keeps their shit cool. Everyone stays cool. Oh god, I hope well.

SPEAKER_09

My cool is pretty fucking cool, I'm gonna say. We're gonna be like the Fawns. What's the Fawns like? Cool?

SPEAKER_03

The Fawns. Oh god, I'm worried though, because I have my suppression field up, and it's like, is I am I I know that no one else has started calling me this, but I did assign myself the nickname The Void, and I feel like it is uh applicable.

SPEAKER_01

Avoid the Void ruins pizzas. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03

But it's like, oh, if if if this god, what was her name? I already forgot it. The the uh Imperial Knight.

SPEAKER_09

Masana Tide.

SPEAKER_03

Masana Tide.

SPEAKER_09

Known for her deadly pods. That should be a pretty badass weapon, just throws them at you.

SPEAKER_03

But if if uh Masana Tide feels that it's like, oh, there's a suppression field, and I am the uh and I am, of course, the famous void that everyone refers to me in that way. But also I don't I feel like none of the Imperial Knights have any respect for me, so maybe it just wouldn't even register that that was like a thing that I did. Maybe I'm the only one who uh cares about me being the void and who uh has assigned myself a nickname.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, it's very weird that you sign yourself as a nickname, but you know what? I'm not gonna say anything about that. Starzan finds that hilarious.

SPEAKER_02

Starzan thinks it's very lame that you just choose a name to call yourself by. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Not given one at birth.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it'd be like super lame if you had a whole costume that you put on to go with your self-assigned nickname. Loser by the way.

SPEAKER_09

Who does you think she is? Star Lord? Right?

SPEAKER_03

But it's like, should I drop it before I go in? But then that might be an issue if we do have to fight with a Jedi. Right. Uh maybe it's okay. Is there anything? This okay, this would be a very I don't I don't know uh what I would have to roll for this.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

That's a that's a great question to start with.

SPEAKER_03

Is there anything I could roll to uh be able to accurately assess how much respect and regard I hold among the Imperial Knights to know, would they even care about me? Or am I is it just like, oh yeah, there's that weird little rat person who hangs out?

SPEAKER_01

Well, she came to your attention via a despair. Yeah. You are a member of the Knight Council. I'm gonna say that she probably knows who you are.

SPEAKER_02

Dang.

SPEAKER_01

If if your reputation, if you've been building up your reputation, she would have heard of your power.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, you know what? I'll drop the I'll drop my suppression field before we go in. If we uh if things get hairy with the Jedi, I can flip a destiny point and do it as an incidental if need be. It's fine. It's fine. I do, don't I? Yes, I do. I got I got that ability. Yes. I'll drop my field. Let's go in. Everyone be cool. Don't just look casual. Walk casual, walk or walk like we're going to a cantina. Elyria, try to pretend like you enjoy live music and that you're just going to a cantina for that. Try to be normal for once. Sorry, that was unnecessary. I do enjoy it.

SPEAKER_09

I thought you were gonna say just try and pretend like you enjoy life.

SPEAKER_11

I enjoy music.

SPEAKER_03

I do enjoy Cantina bands. Try Elyria. Just be normal. Why can't you be normal?

SPEAKER_02

Catla gets anxious and just immediately starts bullying Elyria. I'm sorry, this is my comfort. This is my comfort activity. Let's go in.

SPEAKER_03

So if you want to go in to be unnoticed.

SPEAKER_01

It'll be a three three red cool um Starzan because the Twieleck woman, you do know her, uh, you'll have to add a black. Okay. Three red, you say? Yeah, three red cool.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh.

SPEAKER_09

So two red and a black.

SPEAKER_03

Add a yellow, one green. What do we have for Destiny? Oh, no, you know what? No, I'm not gonna flip it. I won't we gotta save that.

SPEAKER_11

What if?

unknown

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03

What if I got Ella?

SPEAKER_06

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03

What if I got one failure and two threats?

SPEAKER_06

Can you re-roll that if I need yes?

SPEAKER_03

Nah, not that I can think of. Let's see.

SPEAKER_09

Two failure, two threats.

SPEAKER_03

Oh good good news, you guys. Another two failures and threats. Do you get a despair?

SPEAKER_09

One success. One despair.

SPEAKER_03

Uh well, you at least succeeded.

SPEAKER_09

Succeeded, but at what cost?

SPEAKER_06

I am very cool. Uh not that cool though. One failure and three advantage.

SPEAKER_11

Oof. Allyria! We did so bad together. I am not cool.

SPEAKER_01

So, uh Starzan, you're the only one who uh evades detection. God, Starzan's so stealthy today.

SPEAKER_11

I walk in and I look like a fucking narc.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Uh so lyria and Kala, they see you come in uh and they start moving through the club to a uh sort of a back entrance to the kitchen area if there's a a kitchen back there if there's bathrooms. Like they are trying to get somewhere else. They're trying to get through maybe to a back door. Starzan, you remain undetected. However, you got that despair. At this bar uh on this night, there is a very rowdy, what appears to be a bachelorette party. Oh no!

SPEAKER_03

Oh no, they think you're the entertainment!

SPEAKER_01

They think you're they think you're a hot cup.

SPEAKER_06

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So although the two Jedi don't see you, suddenly you're swarmed uh by a gaggle of uh women of of various makes and models uh pawing all over you. There's a Rhodian woman, her suction cup fingers like stick to your skin. It's uh you're you are you are today and all day's magic mic.

SPEAKER_00

Oh wait, because Chris rolled with advantage, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, Chris failed with advantage.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, is there any chance that with Chris's advantage that uh all those all these bachelor all these thirsty women mobbing Starzan could have like shifted the crowd enough that he could have a straight shot to try to catch the Jedi before they get away.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, Starzan is a big fish, uh the and uh there's always a bigger fish, and the women go straight for you. They ca they take the bait, and Chris has a straight shot if you wanna run after them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because I assume Elyrian and I probably would have maybe got caught up with uh these ladies because we both got threat. Yeah. So maybe can't get away as easily. They think that we're girls, girls, but we're not. We gotta get out of here.

SPEAKER_09

Trying to get out of here while also like kind of dancing.

SPEAKER_11

Okay, let's- I am not dancing, I am get getting jostled and I have a big frown.

SPEAKER_03

Trying to trying to very casually.

SPEAKER_06

Are you just getting bounced around by a mosh? You're just getting bounced around by a mosh pit.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, mosh pit of ladies trying to get to Starzan. Oh my god! Let's bounce nickels off its pecs.

SPEAKER_01

So, Chris, you've got the uh the best shot to catch them before they they go out. Okay, I will uh uh I I will after them then. So you can uh move through the parted crowd towards these two Jedi that are making their way through the back. They open a door, head into the kitchen area. You can follow them, and you see like the the cooks, the line cooks that are making the bar food start like kind of shoving them and telling them to get out of here, but they just keep moving, keep moving. They start shouting at you to get out of there, you can keep moving, keep moving, and they head towards the door that is going to lead outside into the alley where the droid is. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Oh amper!

SPEAKER_11

Amber!

SPEAKER_06

Uh, I'm gonna stop them. I'm gonna stop them. How do you stop?

SPEAKER_11

Um friendly hands.

SPEAKER_06

I I I uh I go I go up to the girls and I'm like, uh uh bon uh bonjour uh ladies. I am uh here to make sure that you uh uh arrive at your destination safely.

SPEAKER_01

And the the guy turns to and he says, What do you mean ladies? Hey, what do you mean ladies? Hey.

SPEAKER_06

Uh don't mind me. We're just making sure that we're going uh you don't go to some pl uh some place where somebody might um interrupt your walking path.

SPEAKER_01

And he says, Hey, you know what? Sorry, sorry, buddy, I I'm sorry about that. Why don't we make sorry, let's make let's make up. And he brings you in for a hug.

SPEAKER_06

Ooh, I uh wait, do I uh we only just met.

SPEAKER_01

Let's get to know each other. Yeah, let's get to know each other. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my buddy. I'm sorry, my buddy. And he brings you in for for a hug.

SPEAKER_02

Is he gonna fucking stab you?

SPEAKER_01

Do you let him hug you? No.

SPEAKER_06

Stay back? I will stay back. I will I will stay back a little bit and I'll be like, uh uh but at least buy me a drink first, soldier.

SPEAKER_01

I saw you watching us. What do you want? Who are you? You look you look familiar to me. Have I have I have we met before?

SPEAKER_06

Uh we've only kind of just uh got here, but uh I am here to make sure that uh uh you get along safely.

SPEAKER_03

If Chris is kind of stalled them and is uh talking, would that give Elyria and I enough time to catch up?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah, you can catch up. We are uh we are just making uh making sure that you are s uh that you safely uh go to where you need to go.

SPEAKER_01

When when the others come in, the kitchen staff say, Alright, enough, enough, enough, everybody out, everybody out!

SPEAKER_03

Can I pull out my gun just like everybody out, everybody else out?

SPEAKER_01

They they kinda duck down and they say, Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Get out! Go! Get! Ha!

SPEAKER_01

Git. And when you pull out your gun, they pull out their guns to the two Jedi.

SPEAKER_03

I'll just hold up a hand just like, hey, there's there's a clone trooper ambush out there. If you go in there, you're gonna be swarmed by an Imperial Knight and a bunch of clone troopers on the roof. Settle down for a sec.

SPEAKER_06

I I wanted I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything that you uh trusted me before uh uh before anything else, because we because did you even know? That there was stormtroopers up there just waiting for you.

SPEAKER_01

And the Twilek woman, when she sees the group of you entered, uh Deliria Kala, and especially Starzan, she says, I think the Imperial Knights are already here.

SPEAKER_03

Well Look, it's complicated. It's not a good one.

SPEAKER_01

Is that one I know him, the big one? He's one of them. Starzan?

SPEAKER_03

Well, he is an Imperial Knight.

SPEAKER_06

He is I mean, he was I mean he was. We've we've all we've all been through a journey.

SPEAKER_03

Things are a little bit more complicated than that. We just came to try to find and talk to you. We did not know there's gonna be an ambush here.

SPEAKER_01

And the guy says, uh, yeah, I thought I knew your face from someone. You're the uh you're the one in the tabloids, aren't you?

SPEAKER_06

Uh well no, I'm not into tabloids. I make my own tab No, I make my own tabloids.

SPEAKER_03

You're the one who's feeding rumors about you and Zen is into the tabloids.

SPEAKER_06

Well, uh, how do I tell you this? We all look again. All the news that they get comes from my uh SpaceGram.

SPEAKER_03

You're very easy to write tabloid pieces about.

SPEAKER_06

Let's break up for the week and see what uh what they say. It's been a while since we broke up.

SPEAKER_03

You know, my engagement has kind of been flagging. Can we just like break up again to give me a little boost?

SPEAKER_06

Alright, I'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, so uh you guys are Imperial Knights, what do you want with us? We're just uh, you know, trying to have fun in uh cantina here. What what's up?

SPEAKER_03

I'm just trying to have fun in a cantina here, yeah. And I'm just uh enthusiast for busted down droids. Look, we we knew that the droid was here. We uh the all the kitchen staff is gone at this point, right?

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah, maybe calling the police.

SPEAKER_03

Uh look, I cause did they they would their vehicle have been seen? Cause like I I guess that the the clone trooper ambush probably didn't see them go into the canteen, otherwise they might have to be able to get the biggest.

SPEAKER_01

The ambush is focused on the alleyway. Like they're basically watching the honey trap.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Look, I don't think you're gonna be able to get that droid without springing an ambush. As far as we know, they probably didn't see it come in here. Now, I'm gonna ask you a big, big, big ask, because I imagine that cops are gonna be swarming here pretty quick, since I did just pull a gun out in the middle of a kitchen, sorry.

SPEAKER_06

It's a little weird.

SPEAKER_03

Can we go to a secondary location so we can talk under less pressing circumstances?

SPEAKER_01

I never go to a secondary location. I need to know I can trust you.

SPEAKER_06

It's okay.

SPEAKER_01

You can be street smart with us. What do you gotta give me something? Anything.

SPEAKER_03

I'll give him my light dagger. I never use that anyways, and if that turns up uh somewhere else where I'm not supposed to be, that could be really damaging. Take that.

SPEAKER_01

No, I need you're you're Imperial Knights. You're talking to me for some reason. I don't know. I don't know why. Gotta give me something that can prove to me that you are not the people that I read about.

SPEAKER_02

I You wanna see how Troy turn into Kow Dooku and Yuji Kazakas? What did it happen?

SPEAKER_06

Do you think uh it would help uh them to know that we work for Dark Darth Maul?

SPEAKER_03

I don't I don't know if they would have been in touch with him, but it's uh Oh, oh, oh! A uh Bulk Rum mean anything to you?

SPEAKER_01

Alright, where do we go?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, fucking god. Ahsoka's code name, I remembered. Um, is there a somewhere that we can think of that might be just like a safe, quiet spot nearby that we could like go and and chat at?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I don't know how well you know uh the area.

SPEAKER_03

Uh what do you how about you say you pick the location?

SPEAKER_04

It's a secondary location.

SPEAKER_03

We'll follow you.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, but we have to uh act like we belong. Oh, we always belong, don't we?

SPEAKER_03

Like at the secondary location or just getting out of here so we don't get spotted.

SPEAKER_01

Well, we're getting out of here. Because uh looks like we're gonna have some company in a little while, and he kind of nods back towards the entrance to the kitchen. You can see some flashing red and blue police lights. Oh no. They have red and blue police plates here? I've never seen that before.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, is there a because we can't go out this door into the alley. Is there another exit that we could try for?

SPEAKER_01

Well, they're expecting somebody to go for the droid. If the kitchen staff comes out to like throw out the garbage into the alley, or if some drunken people s stumble out for a smoke break, it would depend on your acting skills, probably. Whether or not you could survive in the alley.

SPEAKER_07

Or your muscle skills.

SPEAKER_09

How easy would it f them to be to keep track of just one person if an entire Bachelorette party started?

SPEAKER_02

Starzan's take them to mirror the alley and I'll give you a show.

SPEAKER_06

You unbelievable son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, Starzan.

SPEAKER_03

Starzan's taking off his hobby cloth!

SPEAKER_11

He's throwing ass, guys. You need extra money.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, yeah, like his uh Starzan is still being mobbed in the main door.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, it's his uh I I've been holding on to this one for a long time. It's not specifically about Starzan. His uh his stripper alter ego, twercules.

SPEAKER_05

Ooh! Twercules!

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, I thought. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11

Turkey's, twerkes.

SPEAKER_09

Alright, so this will be a charm. Oh, how charming is Starzan?

SPEAKER_03

He must be able to add like at least two blues onto this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, these women all are already into you. Uh they're already mobbing you. Okay. So uh we can say you can upgrade your charm roll. Um, the police are here, so I'll give you a dusty point. We'll just call it a red.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_09

This is why Starzan. I now know which uh when I get dedication, which that uh up that presence there. Uh one success, one triumph. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

Fuck yeah!

SPEAKER_09

This is what we wasted the triumph.

SPEAKER_03

This is not a way, Starzan. This is to get us out of here alive. Everybody just pretend you love them.

SPEAKER_01

Are angry, they're shouting at the police, get these people out of my kitchen, but the the bachelorette party is warming you. And you know what? If this is if this is where the party's going, this is where the modal nodes are going, they bring along their jigwares and their club cords.

SPEAKER_02

The best thing.

SPEAKER_01

And there is a mob that is uh following Starzan out the back door, swarming around him. You can hide in the throng of parties, uh, like you're playing Assassin's Creed. And you move through the alley easily a dozen people.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_01

Now the entrance to this club is near the back of the alley near that droid. Do you risk snatching it?

SPEAKER_03

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01

That droid.

SPEAKER_03

The droid actually does have their their base on it, doesn't it? And we do need that for Shizor. Would it be to uh just try to like tuck the droid under our arm and uh Well, that would probably be a skullduggery to try and hide the droid.

SPEAKER_01

Or a uh one of these Rhodians looks at you, a duplicate of one of the Rhodian women. Oh and says, I'm only a machine. If you need to swap me, I can take its place. However, it would likely mean my dismantling, and you wouldn't be able to communicate with the master as easily.

SPEAKER_03

Uh that makes me feel bad. We do have Chris's mind harp, though, if we need communication, but like that feels bad.

SPEAKER_06

If I if I know how to play it.

SPEAKER_03

If you figure out how to play it. What a beef for Skulldoggery. I got a yellow two green to skulldoggery.

SPEAKER_01

So this would be against the perception of the most perceptive person up there. Who are also distracted.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

They they are distracted. There are a lot of people have uh like just swarming around down here. The modal nodes are blasting on their jizz. They're blasted jizz all over the room.

SPEAKER_09

There's jizz everywhere. The blasted jizz.

SPEAKER_11

God. I wish we had like some sort of firework or something.

SPEAKER_09

Oh do I? Wait, do we have ion grenades still?

SPEAKER_03

I oh wait, hold up.

SPEAKER_11

I do have an EMP grenade, but I mean if you make the droid working, it looked like birds on Coruscant. Down in the room. Beast call!

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god! It would just blend in! It would just blend in total nodes! Oh my god, it would be a good one. Like, oh my god, maybe you can just summon some rats. Summon all kind of rats.

SPEAKER_06

Flash mob is for next season when we're all a theater troop. Flash knob?

SPEAKER_02

Yes. So here's the thing.

SPEAKER_01

If you want if you want to use the destiny point, you can blow it, you can activate it, but uh I will choose the beast.

SPEAKER_02

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01

And we'll see.

SPEAKER_03

Beast call! Beast call!

SPEAKER_01

Beast mode!

SPEAKER_03

We love beast call. This is the best hundred credits you ever spent, Elyria!

SPEAKER_11

It's been so long.

SPEAKER_03

It's been so long since you've called upon the beasts.

SPEAKER_11

Fucking pigeon flock come by and shit on all.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, that'd be so great. I hope, I hope they all.

SPEAKER_01

So it's two purple discipline. Okay, they failed.

SPEAKER_03

Yes!

SPEAKER_01

So, uh you hear you let out the beast call, and you hear these high-pitched human-like screams. Uh, they sound like uh like a woman's. They sound like a woman screaming for help. Like screaming that she's being like stabbed.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, what what did you call?

SPEAKER_01

So as this Bachelorette party and and the rest of the party is coming to this alley, a pack, I guess they would be a pack. A pack of corridor ghouls start crawling out of not the woodwork, but the metalworks.

SPEAKER_00

Corridor ghouls? What the fuck are corridor ghouls?

SPEAKER_01

Corridor ghouls uh are large, hairless, eyeless, dog-looking creatures. Oh my god. Uh they're about a ma uh a meter tall, long legs, large ears, big muzzles, sharp teeth, and uh they have a very good sense of smell and they navigate using echolocation, and they scream these high-pitched human screams to uh draw in their prey.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_11

What the fuck? Okay, on random, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02

So are they coming out in the alley?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, are they gonna kill all these ladies?

SPEAKER_01

They might. Uh so give me a s give me a skullduggery here.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, what's that gonna be for skullduggery? Are the clone troopers at least uh shooting them or are they still very professional?

SPEAKER_01

The additional corridor ghouls are gonna give you let you upgrade your skullduggery. Okay, so it's the big throng is gonna give you uh two blues. And this will be against a perception of three. Three purple.

SPEAKER_03

Three purple? Oh damn. What do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_01

Uh you just use your last one to uh use the beastal.

SPEAKER_03

Right, okay, no, that's okay. Well, I if I can upgrade, then I have two yellows and a green. I get three purple. I got two blues. Fingers crossed. Something magical happens here. One success with triumph and three advantage, baby!

SPEAKER_01

So you can you can snatch the droid, kind of bring it into the throng. What do you what do you want to happen with that triumph and advantage?

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, could the okay. Because like, I I don't I I feel like these ladies should not be getting murdered. But it's like maybe the triumph is that the corridor ghouls cause enough like uh disorder that the store like the clone troopers kind of have to out themselves and like they take care of them so uh no one else gets hurt if they if they break rank because you got uh advantage in triumph? Three advantage in triumph.

SPEAKER_01

So rather than the clones or any of the Imperial Knights being the heroes of the night, uh the Corcent local police force uh are the ones to attack the corridor ghouls.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, man. Show them that you we don't need we don't need those clone troopers.

SPEAKER_01

So so the ghouls uh get to kill some police, and they are drawn away from the alley. The the partiers they start running and screaming and fleeing, but there is enough commotion for all of you to pile into the speeder and drive away.

SPEAKER_03

Thank god. Okay. So these two, they're choosing our location.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's a little cramped now.

SPEAKER_03

Oh man, they're all in here with us. I thought they were gonna get their speeder and we'd follow them, but this is probably better anyways.

SPEAKER_01

But uh, the man he directs you to a shabby, run-down, uh little office in uh an old building. He says, uh, this is uh this is where we where we come to.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Like where you come to, is this like your hideout?

SPEAKER_01

It's uh it's my place of work.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay. But uh what do you work with?

SPEAKER_01

What do you work on? Uh you can see it's his office. Uh he is a private dick. Oh, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Hell yeah, this is sick. Okay. So thank you for trusting us. Um, we obviously uh you know who we've been in contact with, and maybe that gives you an idea of where we're currently sitting with the Imperial Knights, trying to do our part from the inside, because obviously things are not uh not good right now or bad. Um the droid, we're trying to help out some people with taking back uh oh my god, my fucking brain. We're try we're trying to help out, uh, to help get we're trying to help to get control of Faline away from the Empire. Um and as part of that, someone that we are looking to install as a Vigo, a Vigo? It was a Vigo, right? Yeah, yeah, as the Vigo of Black Sun needs to have this droid hand over to the Empire to buy him some time to get established to form a combat force to boot him out and decrease the power, and then you know, power of black sun is behind us. Obviously, trade is that this droid is going to them. Now I checked, but there's not it's just a ma means of buying time, so there's no reason why you and your people can't clear out of wherever you're hiding out, establish a new location, and then we can all be, you know, one big, big web of trying to take out the fucking empire. I went back to the web thing, it didn't work the first time, and I'm still going back to it. And also you weren't there the first time, so you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm tired. It's been a big day. Did you see those ghouls?

SPEAKER_06

Did you see those ghouls? Yeah, I saw I saw the ghouls.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we saw that you saw the ghouls.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it took a lot of uh What are all your names by the way? I'm I I'm Jax. This is Laranth. Seems like uh Loranth knows uh Biggie over there.

SPEAKER_03

Biggie? Is it Quircules, yeah?

SPEAKER_01

Uh we were probably all at the temple at the same time. I I'm sorry, I don't uh know any of you.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you know. Why would yeah, you were Jedi and we have a service call. That's neither here nor there, but you know it is kinda here, actually. But you know what? It's here and uh it's it's you know we're not getting into it. But of course you put it in the middle of the state. But now we're equals. Well, you know, maybe nope, we're not getting into it. What's your general opinion on people who get went to the service corps? Just uh just wondering. Just wondering real quick.

SPEAKER_01

What do I care? I mean, you're uh you're people, you're trying to do the right thing, it seems.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so not like uh, oh, those dropouts never cared about them. Just making sure.

SPEAKER_01

Look, uh, as far as I'm concerned, uh Laranth and I, we were in the temple when things went down. When you see the so-called chosen one striking up his lightsaber and cutting down a bunch of kids, um, you know, you're all any of your potential preconceived notions about what makes for a good Jedi or a bad Jedi, they kinda go out the window.

SPEAKER_03

You know, that's that's that's that's reasonable. That's reasonable. That's fair. Damn, he did kill kids, and we were wanting to.

SPEAKER_06

Anyways, we were uh that's c that's crazy how we were f I mean I I say this just in by myself. I'm like, uh it's crazy how fooled we were.

SPEAKER_03

We were very fooled.

SPEAKER_06

We were very fooled.

SPEAKER_03

And here we were just like, oh, the Jedi keep throwing kids into the meat grinder and killing them, and that's no good. And the point being, yeah. Sorry, you were saying something and I cut you off with my being uh pissy about service core and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just saying I don't really care one way or the other about Service Corps. Uh I don't even know what happened to most of you guys during the war.

SPEAKER_03

Of course not. But sorry. I'm not I'm not pissy, I'm not I'm not sore. I'm not sore about that. I'm not pissy. I'm not pissy. I'm not mad. You're pissy.

SPEAKER_09

I'm not owned. I'm not owned.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not turning into a con cab. But yeah, point being that, you know, allies trustworthy allies are maybe in short supply, so trying to take them wherever we can. Um now, Ahsoka, she God, where do we uh where did we I'm trying to remember what Ahs where Ahsoka was going when we uh decided to be able to do that?

SPEAKER_01

She didn't tell you where she was going, but uh she has that gem.

SPEAKER_03

She has that gem, so she's trying to like break blockades and stuff. Now Ahsoka, she's trying to bring blockades. We have a couple Jedi that we, you know, help back in the the old SBI days that we're trying to kind of re-establish contact with. We have um, well, one extra benefactor that, you know, is like maybe, but like, you know, maybe let's not get into that right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, Black Sun. Um Yeah. I get working with them. Uh not better than the Empire, not necessarily worse.

SPEAKER_06

I feel like they would be mutually beneficial.

SPEAKER_01

But look, I think um it's been more than a year that we've been trying to round up anyone who escaped the temple, anyone who needs to get off course, and to be honest, the uh the supply of people, the uh those who've needed to get off, I think a lot of them have made it. It's uh a shame to leave anybody behind that we have to, but if we need to uh move to somewhere else, or at least for a little while, I think we can do that.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, great. Now uh you uh obviously were in contact with Ahsoka. By the way, um the I don't know if she's uh maybe gonna get in contact with you again, but I think she's kind of had to burn the Fulcrum identity because one of the Jedi wrote it down and now the SBI knows about it because we were trying to get it decoded, it's a whole thing. Um so yeah, Fulcrum's killed. Don't I mean not killed, but yeah, like you know what I mean. You know what I mean. Don't you know?

SPEAKER_01

Well, she might as well be. We'll we'll say that.

SPEAKER_03

What does that mean? Well, I I know what that means, but no, like look, we gotta have some hope.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm just saying that Fulcrum's dead, but we don't need to speak of it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. Yeah, Fulcrum Fulcrum is dead. Let's not speak of it anymore. Uh but yeah, do you have anywhere else any safe havens that you might be able to go to?

SPEAKER_01

You said you were working with some other Jedi.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, there's only a couple that we've sort of re-established contact with. Um there's uh Ooh, shouldn't this be Rip the Band Aid Off moment? Because there was like the one Jedi that we found that was time displaced, and we sent him to Krant. Ichu Senjon. I don't know if we've we wouldn't have heard anything from them since then.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think, but there was like that one kind of freighter crew that was taking them there. Ahsoka is off doing her own thing. There's Maul, if we want to just rip the band-aid off and be like, so we're also working with this guy. And also him. If we do we uh do we just want to see if these guys want to go to Krant and try to uh meet up with uh Ichu Senjon and that other guy we sent there? And hopefully Ichu's not like, stop sending me these Jedi! Why did you send more? Or we could be like, Darth Maul's on this like weird droid planet. You can probably go there and lie low for a little bit. What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_06

I think um Jedi's lying low is always a good idea, but like I feel as though we need we would need to do ample warning about Ample warning about the pe the the people that we roll with. It feels right.

SPEAKER_03

Like not just sending more people to Ichu and being like, You good with this, right? Yeah, you guys will be fine. Just play with each other.

SPEAKER_01

I guess who do you trust more? Uh, the guy who killed his Padawan and was extremely remorseful about it, or Darthmall?

SPEAKER_03

Look, to be fair.

SPEAKER_06

To be fair.

SPEAKER_03

He uh has no love of the Empire. He's extremely motivated to take them down.

SPEAKER_11

It's the lesser of two evils.

SPEAKER_03

Well, well, I don't know about lesser of two. Like, Ichu Senja might be the lesser of two evils, but also.

SPEAKER_11

No, I meant like Maul is the lesser evil than the Empire.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, than the Empire, yeah. A shocking sentence, but uh because also like Master Ichu is like, oh, I just want to go into hiding to try to like repent for like having killed my Padawan. And I don't know if he would appreciate having more Jedi sent to him. Cause there is there is also uh Master Kuro with her kids on that one planet, but I still kind of feel like I would want to keep them out of this as long as possible because she's trying to harbor a bunch of kids. But also, what do you guys think?

SPEAKER_06

The the chaos side of me wants to say Darth Maul so badly right now.

SPEAKER_11

I mean if they're if they're I mean they don't have to hang out if we send them to that Jedi.

SPEAKER_06

What hey, if a Jedi and a Sith Lord can get along, then why can't Mom and Daddy Do they have to live in the house together?

SPEAKER_01

Proxy is still with you.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, Proxy. Hey, this might just be a like a rip the band-aid off moment, but uh, Proxy, can you mask to talk to us through uh you, Rasek?

SPEAKER_07

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, yes, now I am.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, no, leave the massive Janaka's off, though. No, don't actually. Become Darth Volkers.

SPEAKER_06

With knockers. With massive knockers and a a a fluctuating girth.

SPEAKER_03

No, he might not appreciate that. Yeah, no, if your master's uh willing to talk to us, I assume he's still been listening to all this.

SPEAKER_01

I am initiating communication now. And his body changes its limb length, comes a little short guy, and the hologram fizzles to life the hooded figure, and he says, I apologize for the deception in the use of this droid, but my allies are correct. We are building a force to fight against the Empire. I am someone who was hurt greatly by the Emperor and has reason to want him defeated.

SPEAKER_03

How are Jax and Laurent of reacting to this? I I'm guessing they would probably also know who Darth Maul was.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, he hasn't said his name.

SPEAKER_03

That's true. But he does look like Darthmall still.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, how many people would know what Darthmall looks like?

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I I don't necessarily mean he looks like Darth Maul. I mean you look at him and it's like, oh yeah, that's what that person looks like. Red and black, glowing yellow eyes, teeth that look like they've never been brushed.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, Night Brother.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, he looks like a Knight Brother. Uh, so Jackson Loranth, this is uh we're we're ripping the Band-Aid off here. Uh, this is our Evan Haja ally. He does have a safe, safe, safe, right planet that he's holding up on right now with a whole lot of droids for defense.

SPEAKER_01

I am based on a safe world.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Of course, you know, the ripping the band-aid off thing. This is Darthmall, but he's doing much better now. What was that?

SPEAKER_01

Darth. Z. Darthmall, but he's very, very good ally. Sorry, what?

SPEAKER_03

Hey, settle ha ha ha ha. We're all hey, open hearts, open minds. We're all trying to help each other out here, right?

SPEAKER_06

I feel like there's gotta be some kind of uh s immediately I'm trying to think of like compromises that we can make so that they can live as one.

SPEAKER_01

This is true. I was raised to hate and to want to destroy the Jedi without ever questioning it. But this empire, there is no value here, no principles, only a grab for power and influence and money. I have not always agreed with the Jedi Knights, but I respect them.

SPEAKER_03

Hey, see? Mutual respect. Look, we can all we can all learn from each other, and you know, like, again, like if it's to take down the Empire, maybe we can all try to be a little bit more open-minded to each other so we have more allies. Again, like, you know, we're making the web of connections and allies, because a spider web's real strong, but one little link that's weak. Uh look, and it makes sense in my brain, I'm not letting it go.

SPEAKER_01

You trust him?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

About as far as I say that I can.

SPEAKER_03

Sorry, let me try that again with more confidence in my voice. Yes, we trust him.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Yeah. So he knows all about the Fulcrum situation and everything. I mean, he he does anyway. He's been listening to our whole conversation, it seems.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you've been listening in. Right?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, he's kind of a little bit of a voyeur, aren't you, you little boy, uh you like watching.

SPEAKER_01

Uh it's creepy.

SPEAKER_03

I we're not gonna unpack that right now.

SPEAKER_01

This Fulcrum knows other Jedi, and there are Jedi that I am very eager to make a reacquaintance with.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Are you just wanting to kill Kenobi still?

SPEAKER_01

I would like to see him again.

SPEAKER_03

That you know what? That's neither here nor there.

SPEAKER_01

And Jack's lift-what is he talking- what is he talking about? That sounds that sounds suspicious.

SPEAKER_06

We're gonna put a pin on Zet, okay? We're gonna put a pin. We'll put a pin on Zet.

SPEAKER_03

Put a pin on it. Put a pin on it. But none of us are Kenobi. That's not our concern right now.

SPEAKER_06

We're gonna just put a pin on Zet and we are gonna pick that up later after we've defeated the Z Empire, okay?

SPEAKER_03

Kenobi did cut him in half. There may be some things going on. I assume there's some things going on, but we're gonna put a pin in it. None of us are Kenobi. We don't need to think about that right now.

SPEAKER_01

And he gets up and he says, Well, look, I gotta, I don't know, I maybe I just gotta think about this for a minute. And he just reaches out and he like reaches into the hologram and flips a switch on the back of Proxy to deactivate him. And he says, I'm not going to that thing. If you're don't trust that thing.

SPEAKER_03

Well, okay, you know, maybe refined to sentient people as things is uh maybe not a great place to be.

SPEAKER_01

Is there anywhere at all, anywhere else we could go that that he doesn't know about?

SPEAKER_03

He doesn't know about? Ugh, well, because I was laying out what our options are, but he doesn't know where Master Kuro is.

SPEAKER_01

Well, cause he were you saying that out loud?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I don't know, because well, probably not.

SPEAKER_06

I feel I feel like we might have like decided before we came there, maybe.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Cause I don't know that you necessarily would have been like if he could hear you going over your choices, he probably would have had a say in it before you were like Darth Maul. Because I'm I'm assuming your deliberation was out of character.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so you're saying he probably wouldn't know about either of them.

SPEAKER_01

He wouldn't know about either of them.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Yeah, look, there's a couple other people. There's one Jedi Master we helped some time back. We've sent another Jedi to him already, but we haven't been in contact, so we don't know if they actually found him. We don't know if he's okay with it. Actually, actually, actually, actually, cause I say that, I could, because I do have a thing to get more information now. If I rolled Seek on Master Ichu, maybe I could get an additional detail to see if he's actually like found that other Jedi and if he's like chill about it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. If they're vibing. If you wanna yeah, if you wanna get uh because it's not exactly like far seeing, but you probably could get that same sort of general vibe.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Maybe I'll get the feeling that he's happily holding hands with another Jedi. And they're skipping. Oh my lord in heaven, six light side. I mean we're like we're like at the very end of the street. But you have no destiny point.

SPEAKER_06

Flip them, flip.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, dang it, really? Yeah. Beast call. Man, can't you just roll something against me to give us one back? Because that's so many force pips. I want to use them.

SPEAKER_01

No, you have you have no destiny point, you'll have to make your recommendation blind.

SPEAKER_03

Ugh. But uh yeah, no, there's uh one Jedi, we've sent another to go meet him, but we haven't had contact with him for some for a while, so we don't necessarily know if that other Jedi found him. We don't know if he's happy that we sent another Jedi to him. We don't really know a lot. We need to get in contact, but we need to be careful, because like obviously anything anywhere where we slip up could give away these people. There's another master who's kind of on a very isolated planet with a bunch of kids that she, you know, rescued from difficult situations.

SPEAKER_01

He's trying to I'm not gonna look, I told you what I saw in the temple.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, if there's somewhere where kids are being kept safe, I don't want any part of that. Just let them stay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, cool. Good. That's great, because we don't really want to get her involved unless, you know, we are absolutely pushed to it either, because like I yeah. Same same feeling. We wanna we want the kids to be fine. So we can give you the location of the other master. No guarantees he's gonna be happy to see you, but maybe you can kind of let him know what's going on.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine. If it doesn't work out, we can move on. I've got a ship, got a small crew, we can we can get out of here.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Uh do must we uh do you think we can sneak away without being caught? Like by the uh uh storm ch uh stormtroopers? Because I assume there's more.

SPEAKER_03

Well, because we're we're back at his office. Uh or at this guy's office now. We're we're we're in a safe location, a safe secondary location. So we just need to take this droid back to Shizor so he can do his thing and then get into power. And we just gotta go home like nothing happened.

SPEAKER_09

Like nothing happened?

SPEAKER_03

Like nothing happened, nothing at all.

SPEAKER_09

Nothing at all. Nothing did happen.

SPEAKER_06

Nothing will happen. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_11

We're taking a break watching Torcules.

SPEAKER_03

Take it Look, we can't watch Panthestar do backflips in the council chambers anymore, so uh Star San just has to drop it for our entertainment.

SPEAKER_01

Drop it like a Panthstar is just chewing on the leg of a corridor ghoul in the corner.

SPEAKER_03

Panthestar, drop it! But yeah, like I'll we'll give them, you know, location, uh Krant, Ichu Sanjong, give them a description of what they're looking for.

SPEAKER_01

Krant.

SPEAKER_03

It was Krant, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's in uh that's in Both and space, ain't it?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it is. They are they still neutral, Bothin, or Krant.

SPEAKER_01

Well the Bothan spy net's pretty exhaustive, so either they're very well hidden or uh they're not gonna be for long. Either way, um I think it's still the best option.

SPEAKER_03

Probably, probably.

SPEAKER_06

Um I've I I feel as though you know, since you are masters and we uh only flirted with mas uh masters ourselves, uh I feel as though you might know a little bit uh more about I I appreciate the vote of confidence, but um never made it quite that far.

SPEAKER_03

Knights, were you knights?

SPEAKER_06

You know what? You know what? You don't need to tell us as long as you're as long as you're part of our crew. Yeah, I was a I was a Jedi Knight.

SPEAKER_01

Three months before the end of the war.

SPEAKER_03

Oh man, were you like one of the were you like the kids that got like promoted way too fast who were just kind of being sent into the meat grinder to die? I was Was it Kellerin Beck? Did he make your knights?

SPEAKER_01

No. Uh I was uh apprentice to even Piel.

SPEAKER_03

Is that the is that the uh the Hadrosaur?

SPEAKER_06

Is Elyria kind of upset that she she that she didn't know?

SPEAKER_03

Oh Pink Yoda! We all know Pink Yoda. Wait, who's Pink Yoda? Isn't it like uh has an eye patch or something? Yeah. Yeah, you know Pink Yoda. Even PL? Yeah, we know even PL. We know Pink Yoda.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it was um I mean he passed. I think they kind of knighted me cause uh because of that, but you know, I guess it doesn't matter now.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Doesn't matter now. Anyways, uh Jackson Laranth, it's uh wonderful to have you in the fold. Shake their hands. Eh.

SPEAKER_01

They they shake your hands and say, well, may the force be with you.

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, yeah. But y you know, also like, you know, maybe just try to have an open mind. We're not gonna obviously not gonna tell Moll about ya, but like, you know, the Jedi maybe could do with being a little bit more open-minded to people who are different than them. Just saying. Anyways, you guys have a good trip. We'll see you later.

SPEAKER_01

So you can go your separate ways, they disappear into the underworld, you can get back into your speeder proxy. I don't think he was gonna come back with you. He'll probably return to Maul.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'll just turn him back on, just like, oh man, don't know what happened there.

SPEAKER_06

I I I wonder if Maul had like a separate bug just being like, I n I knew what was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01

But maybe you'll encounter Proxy again the next time you need to talk to Maul, but you can take this droid back to Shizor, hopefully getting him the power he needs to become the Biko of Coruscant, and you can maybe continue to expand your galaxy of stars next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B, Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.