Picture this, the mesmerizing Juanita Banks Whittenton and the charismatic Chantell Jackson, two halves of marvelous marriages, opening their hearts about their relationship journeys. Juanita, the author of 'I Love My Daddy', shares how her husband became the muse behind her book. On the other hand, Chantell shares his thoughts on preventing a relationship from stagnating, emphasizing that effective communication is the secret ingredient.
As we navigate through their marriage tales, Juanita and Chantell reveal how they keep their love flame alive even while managing their professional commitments. With Juanita's husband and PR team sparking her authoring career and Chantell”s view on the evolution of dating, they offer an interesting blend of perspectives. Ethical monogamy, boundary respect, and the need for sacrifices in relationships also get a deep-dive in our conversation. But, the icing on the cake is their discussion about 'Black Excellence', the evolution of their friendship, and their strategies to maintain sanity during overwhelming moments.
Lastly, we uncover Juanita and Chantell”s professional endeavors, Juanita's book 'I Love My Daddy' and Chance's non-profit, CheerUp Wellness. They share nuggets on balancing personal and professional life, their takes on judgement and infidelity, and the importance of letting your light shine even when surrounded by stars. Buckle up for an episode filled with inspiration, wisdom, and priceless insights into maintaining healthy relationships while juggling careers and personal growth. This is one conversation you do not want to miss!
“If you are a dope person looking to hop on VIB3Z or know someone really dope people send them our way!”
follow us on all social media
YouTube: VIB3Zpodcast
TikTok & instagram @vib3zpodcast
Picture this, the mesmerizing Juanita Banks Whittenton and the charismatic Chantell Jackson, two halves of marvelous marriages, opening their hearts about their relationship journeys. Juanita, the author of 'I Love My Daddy', shares how her husband became the muse behind her book. On the other hand, Chantell shares his thoughts on preventing a relationship from stagnating, emphasizing that effective communication is the secret ingredient.
As we navigate through their marriage tales, Juanita and Chantell reveal how they keep their love flame alive even while managing their professional commitments. With Juanita's husband and PR team sparking her authoring career and Chantell”s view on the evolution of dating, they offer an interesting blend of perspectives. Ethical monogamy, boundary respect, and the need for sacrifices in relationships also get a deep-dive in our conversation. But, the icing on the cake is their discussion about 'Black Excellence', the evolution of their friendship, and their strategies to maintain sanity during overwhelming moments.
Lastly, we uncover Juanita and Chantell”s professional endeavors, Juanita's book 'I Love My Daddy' and Chance's non-profit, CheerUp Wellness. They share nuggets on balancing personal and professional life, their takes on judgement and infidelity, and the importance of letting your light shine even when surrounded by stars. Buckle up for an episode filled with inspiration, wisdom, and priceless insights into maintaining healthy relationships while juggling careers and personal growth. This is one conversation you do not want to miss!
“If you are a dope person looking to hop on VIB3Z or know someone really dope people send them our way!”
follow us on all social media
YouTube: VIB3Zpodcast
TikTok & instagram @vib3zpodcast
All right, welcome back. Welcome back. It's your boy favorite, Leo to temple King. Major vibes alert. We had the two dynamic, not fraternal twins here. You might have seen this lady on the news, Might have seen on Instagram Amazon tick tock her husband's phone. You might have seen this woman multiple places, but I'm gonna let her go and start off and tell her who she is.
Speaker 2:Hey, this is Juanita Banks Whittenton. I'm the author of I love my daddy.
Speaker 1:That's all you got for me. All right and best friend, it's time to finally get to know you two. Come on out.
Speaker 3:I'm Chance L Jackson and I'm here for support Support in my best year.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm gonna double back on you, because that was nice. So with everybody always X, let's just go and get it out the way. What about your man and your daughter made you want to write this book?
Speaker 2:So my husband, you know he reads it to our daughter at night there is her name and he kept telling me there's no black fathers in these books that he's reading. So he just kept telling me, and I'm like okay, okay, and it just gave me an idea to write about a little girl and her father, and that's how I got.
Speaker 1:I love my daddy, first of all were you a writer at any sort before this?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:So you ain't no, so wait a minute.
Speaker 2:Other than college.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we getting there, so you did write slightly in college. Assignments. That's it. Oh, so you was never, like, labeled as a writer?
Speaker 2:No, no, not at all.
Speaker 1:So how does it feel this attention, everything that's coming at you?
Speaker 2:It's. It's overwhelming sometimes, but I feel like I'm blessed because I get to show other people who may want to write that you can do anything that you want to do. So for me. I get so many messages now, even at work, since I was on the news. I'm getting messages from people that I don't even know and they're like yo, how are you? I've seen your name before, but I just saw you on the news and I'm an aspiring author. How did you do it? So of course you know I'm responding back like hey, you know congratulations you can do
Speaker 1:whatever you want.
Speaker 2:Hit up Amazon, do your research.
Speaker 1:I knew you was big time. Listen, if anybody, I don't know what camera I want to look at, but if you send this woman a DM, she's so professional, someone's going to send you a DM in a couple of seconds. I say hey, you are reaching out to you. We will get back to you within such and such hour. I said okay.
Speaker 2:No, the reason why is because I get a lot of spam, so I had to put something out there. That's why I put that. So if people are serious about working with me, I have one there who I am. If you want to purchase my book, I love my daddy is on Amazon and outside of that I'll get back with you Outside of that.
Speaker 1:No, seriously, people are creeps Like you just started to find this out with the fame.
Speaker 2:No, no, what I found out is on Instagram. I get a lot of spam. Facebook is not like that, but Instagram oh my goodness, every five seconds is somebody inboxing about some type of service. Or hey, beautiful, I'm sorry to be, you know, so upfront with you, but can you reach back out to me when you get a chance I get?
Speaker 1:all the time I don't know you mad.
Speaker 2:I don't think people care, Like honestly people don't care.
Speaker 1:Well, from what you said, both of you ladies are married. That is true. You been married for how long?
Speaker 2:It's been three years.
Speaker 1:Okay, she knew, she knew the game. How long you been married.
Speaker 3:Seven years today.
Speaker 1:Seven years today. How long did you know, your man?
Speaker 3:Before I got married. We know each other about three years. Oh, okay, you took okay.
Speaker 1:All right, it wasn't a shotgun wedding how about? You.
Speaker 3:Not at all.
Speaker 1:No care, okay, shotgun is looking like a shotgun wedding.
Speaker 2:No, we were together for five years before we got married, but I was pregnant when we got married.
Speaker 3:That still counts, that still counts.
Speaker 2:And you only got one daughter right. Yes, One daughter. She'll be three in November. And she gives us, she tests us every day.
Speaker 1:It's not going to stop. Do you have children?
Speaker 3:No, I have two for a baby. Shout out to Carmen and Cody.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, here we go.
Speaker 3:It's like no, that's my cat and my dog.
Speaker 1:How do y'all right, let's talk about it, let's jump right into it how do y'all keep y'all marriages from not getting stale?
Speaker 2:It's hard.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:It's hard because real life you know, working you out here trying to pay these bills, you trying to have relationships with other people, trying to be a parent all of those things. It's hard, so the most thing I feel like you can do is just be open and honest with each other. Okay, this is what I need, you know. I know you may not like what I just said, but I need a little bit more in these areas.
Speaker 1:Okay, you thought a lot. All right, I'm going to hold that right there. And how about you, ma'am? Because she tried to give me that political answer. But I'm going to double back. How do you keep your marriage from not being born?
Speaker 3:Not being I mean defying born, because I mean I haven't fallen to that stage yet.
Speaker 1:Oh, and seven years.
Speaker 3:Seven years my husband keeps me on my toes. I know I keep him on his toes, so yeah, we haven't met that born.
Speaker 1:Well, excuse me, you seven years. I guess you know what you're doing. So what made you ladies? Was it coming up? Did you always want to get married? Or like your arrangements? Yeah, why not, I'll do it.
Speaker 2:I know, for me it's like fairy tale stuff, right, you see all of these movies and you see people out there and you're like. Oh, I want that. But then when you get into it and you see what it really is, you're like oh shoot, this is work.
Speaker 3:Like it's not easy.
Speaker 2:It is not easy, because when you're just dating, you see one side of the person, but when you say I do and you have kids, it's totally different. I started seeing we eight years in the game total and I just started seeing new things and I'm like what is going on? Like?
Speaker 1:why are you?
Speaker 2:doing this Like come on now, you ain't do this before oh wow. So I mean it's hard though, but at the end of the day. It's still communication. You have to talk. The grass isn't green on the other side. You hear her order. What you got you know, because I hear so many different things from people that I know the same go out here and it's hard.
Speaker 1:It's definitely hard relationships period and you, miss ma'am, you are in a different spectrum with having a marriage that hasn't came still yet, right?
Speaker 3:that is. That is correct. I mean I feel like I mean I I call him my partner and you know, I never I mean I'm not saying never wanted to get married, but I always wanted a partner like somebody you know equal, you know both given a hundred percent and things like that. And you know when one person lacks other person you know picks up and things like that. So I knew I always wanted a partners, a life partner, somebody I want to go through life with.
Speaker 3:And you're right, you're not gonna. The person I married is not the same person today, because we won't change Over time and it's like can this person change with me? Can this person adapt to the change? Look?
Speaker 3:adapt to the woman that I have become or I'm becoming, mm-hmm. And I mean, like I said, I'm like he knows I'm not the same person that you know, you so but yeah, I mean absolutely, I mean you know communication, definitely, you know it's key, you know being open and honest and I feel like you know that you know, when you open the honest, that's definitely you know, that's not gonna keep things born at all.
Speaker 3:That's like at all right, but you say what you think and I'll say what you feeling at that moment. Yeah, it's gonna, you know, continue to keep that ball rolling.
Speaker 1:So I got it. I wasn't gonna talk to you to the show start either one of you. So You're not an author by trade. No, and you don't. You're not author at all. What do you do?
Speaker 2:So full-time, I work for the federal government a two girl. Really.
Speaker 1:DC.
Speaker 2:I used to.
Speaker 1:I'm still in that grind.
Speaker 2:I did that mark train. Metro did all of that for three years and it was a lot. Mm-hmm and then during COVID. That's when I was able to get closer to home.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I'm on Fort Mead and I love what I do. I work with diversity, inclusion now.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, yeah okay. She's having an equity training.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, so I love it I'm. Prior to that, I was doing equal opportunity. Prior to that, I was in the military.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why I say wait. I've read your bio and I was like damn, damn damn. Damn I was like this lady has accolades for a day. How old are you?
Speaker 3:You see her wall, like when she do, like her interviews and things. You look behind her though, yes, all them certificates and Her. And like when she first called me up and was like, oh yeah, I'm writing a book, I was like what? She's like a children's book. I was like, huh, I was like, well, if anybody I know that this one either. Like I know she can do it. And she got it done and she's doing it. So that's both. Lady right there.
Speaker 1:Are you proud of yourself?
Speaker 2:Yes, of course I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of my friends. It's been supporting me Right at the end of the day when I first started this journey. I want to say it was last year October.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what I was gonna do. I went for my birthday and I took pictures. Didn't know what I was gonna do. January hit. I wrote the book. After that I said, hey, she didn't tell I need you to help me out with editing my bio and Do all this stuff for me. And she's like okay, so I'm sending her my stuff.
Speaker 2:And she's like, oh my goodness, I can't believe you just did all of this stuff and then from there got the website. You know, I got the illustrations done and Published so you're a published author?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got that on the resume.
Speaker 2:Yes, I had that on my bio for work like better put on your body. Yes, I have that on my bio for work and. I'm definitely blessed and I'm excited to be able to share with people. You know my journey and I'm just so excited now, you never wrote one for kids.
Speaker 1:Do you got another book in your future, though, or is this like a one-off? You just wanted, like everything else, you want to try to exceed that. You go into the next thing.
Speaker 2:You know what? I hear that at least five times a week people ask me what's next? What's next for me? I do want to write more children's also kids of your thing for now. But, I also want to write something about me, but I feel like recently, with my PR team, like they've been, I was in Baltimore time.
Speaker 1:So you say say go ahead, pump your chest out, go ahead your PR team. He was doing what?
Speaker 2:Yes, my PR team. They got me in Baltimore times talking about purposeful parenting. I just did another interview that's going to be coming out next month and I feel like Previously I wanted to do something about my life like where did I come from, why? But I've been able to do that in a few writings I just did. So I'm not sure if I want to actually write some type of book on it, but I definitely want to write more children's books.
Speaker 1:I would love to get a publishing deal, you know, with a major public you know you do have you do everything in 60 days, so Roughly round September.
Speaker 2:All I can tell you is, from what I've seen, is the more people that know you and see you and they know what you're doing. That kind of shows your platform and from there you never know who's going to reach out to you. So I'm very excited and I have a lot of things that I can't talk about yet, you know.
Speaker 2:But I am so excited and I just feel like anybody can do whatever they want. I, my push, is for all the little girls and all the little boys that people have told them you can't do something Like. That's me showing them like, hey, you can do whatever you want, because growing up for me was not easy and when I am today, I'm blessed to be where I am.
Speaker 1:So that's how I look at it. So you hit on something. I'm not gonna let it just escape the room. Why wasn't growing up for you easy?
Speaker 2:So my mother and my father suffered from mental health you know illness, incarceration and drugs and Just being born affected by that and I I was. I had to take speech. You may not know that, but I had to take speech because I speak therapy yeah. I spoke very, very slow so and I still can't say certain words. So for me I'm blessed Right, my grandmother raised me. I didn't meet my father till I was 19 years old.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm and my mother was around, but she was in and out of rehab facilities, so for me she was there, but she wasn't there.
Speaker 1:She wasn't present.
Speaker 2:No, so I Just feel that if it wasn't for my grandmother I wouldn't be where I am today, Like she showed me all of the love that I needed at that time. And ever since then I've been pushing and Along the way. You know. You hear, like those elders, old kids just staying a place. And and I'm right and you're wrong because you're a child now. I don't believe that and I believe that you have to give respect to get it.
Speaker 2:And I had a really hard time growing up, because they're like, oh well, you're not gonna be anything or you're not this and you're not that, but look where I am today. You know, I'm an author, was in the military for 11 years, had my master's degree. Right, I'm doing, I have my own business doing wellness and diversity and inclusion.
Speaker 2:So like yes, with social work. So I am so excited and blessed to be able to show Anybody whether they little older like you can do whatever you want to do. So that's kind of where I'm at.
Speaker 1:So when you was growing up you said some, you said they were saying who are they?
Speaker 2:just people, whether it was family members and Older elders around. It's like, oh well, you can't do that because those generational curses Well, I did this and I did that and you know I was out here in the streets doing that. Well, that wasn't my life, so I never was that person that was out here trying to do drugs, you know I saw how that affected my family members and I was like you know won't be me. I can't even count on my hand.
Speaker 2:How many of my aunts and uncles graduated from high school. Let's tell them, and not even half of them did so, just me being that first person in my Immediate family to graduate right to get these degrees.
Speaker 1:I mean to even be in the military and just to be blessed.
Speaker 2:You know I was 23, I brought my own house, like I mean. That that's exciting, you don't see?
Speaker 3:that I'm too old to get adopted, but I always told her like look, yeah, I need.
Speaker 1:Alright, did you ever make up with your, with your parents?
Speaker 2:so when I got older that's for me and my mom we got a better relationship and I was able to kind of really understand like why she was the way that she was. Why did she, you know, choose to, you know, pretend, you know, do drugs and just just who she was. So when I was older, we were able to get along and we established a really good relationship, even though she's to get on my nerves, but my mom passed away five years ago, unexpectantly so for me. I took it hard, but just everything that she taught me, like I said, once I got older we were able to like really connect and get to know each other in a better light. But as far as my father, I call him a sperm donor.
Speaker 2:So I tried to have a relationship with him, but he's a user, so for me I don't want that type of energy in my life and he's not gonna be around my child, you know he never even asked about it or he wants to. Hey, can I get a couple dollars, you know. So he's a user, so for me I'm good. You know I have so many other family members that have stepped up to be like for all the figures for me, so I'm good. But I do miss my mom like even though we didn't have a great relationship growing up.
Speaker 2:Once I became an adult, we had a wonderful relationship. Blossom known to top side yeah and it was like wherever I was, she was, and no matter what I did, she was there supporting me. So that was what I can always say about her. She can be in whatever state.
Speaker 2:She getting on a bus, she doing whatever she needs to do, but she gonna come and support me and I missed that about her, and you know. You hear so many people say well, you only get one parent. Yes, but you still have to have boundaries with certain individuals. So, you know, even with my father I tried multiple times to have a relationship If his own mother and siblings don't deal with him. I mean, it's not much you can do at this, it's not much that I can do, but Just use those relationships with the people who matter.
Speaker 1:So that's where I'm at and that and that is how it has been. How do y'all meet each other?
Speaker 3:Oh my god. I just want to say, like her mother was like such an energy, like, oh my gosh, like I loved her. I'm like when I found out her mother was in town I was like, okay, we'll be going now, because she was. She was such an energy and I feel like her daughter now is she. She pretty much took the energy of her mother. Like I'm like Juanita, that's that's your mom, right there, everything, all the characters and everything. She was such energy and such a good vibe, like I loved her. Oh my gosh, you came off the car with energy.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I was like oh okay, this, this right now, like a lot right now. Okay, she ready, yeah, my water bottle over there. I'm gonna go get it. You got it. How did this whole friend, oh y'all why? I gotta ask. I'm gonna ask you, I ain't gonna ask her are you friends or you best friends?
Speaker 3:We are best friends. We are pretty much sisters, like we met I don't remember what you know how many years ago, but we met at work. We were co-workers and that's just that relationship just blossomed. Um, like I knew, like Juanita was that one person I can always count on. And then vice versa, and, like I said, I love Drenny. She was, she was boss lady. I always saw her like I might be like you when I grow up, boss lady.
Speaker 3:Right, I would be like you when I grow up like I love, like her persistence and her drive and like you know, like I said when she told me she was writing the book, I'm like, oh and like I just seen her like move, like she didn't let anything stop her, and I'm like she's giving me motivation. She's like I need you to edit this and I'm like, oh, OK, well, I mean I need to get something together. Like can you, can you? You know, like she just gave me that driving.
Speaker 3:You need friends like that, like you need people in your space that's going to push you. You know what I'm saying. Like if you know everybody in your room or in your circle is like not on your level, like you need to change your space, you need to change your area, and I feel like she definitely gives me that drive and that motivation. So you know, since then, like I'm like, look, you can't get rid of me, I'm sorry, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Like we're in this together.
Speaker 3:We are in this, so yes.
Speaker 1:So my question with that is with both of you, ladies, y'all do not have an accent, you don't think so? I know you're not from the town you in right now.
Speaker 2:I know that to be a fact. No, I'm not.
Speaker 1:No, that to be a fact. Yours, it's none of the DO to be or the M. No, that to be a fact. What?
Speaker 3:OK, where do I sound like I'm from?
Speaker 1:Where do I sound like you from. You might give me like a up or PA. Yeah, like you know, Prisha, Persia or something like that. Ooh, yes, you got a New York twang.
Speaker 2:I was born in Jamaica.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all, right, no, yeah, OK.
Speaker 2:But I live a little bit of everywhere so I can't even say that. So you swimming the Hudson? No, ok, just had to make sure.
Speaker 1:OK, I had to check your temperature. Yeah, so New York. That's where that hustle come from.
Speaker 2:So that's where I was born. And I stayed in New York. To what? Kindergarten. From there I moved to North Carolina, then I was in Florida, then I'm here.
Speaker 1:Is this the end in spot?
Speaker 2:I don't know, we'll see. I mean, if I hit the lot, I'm gone.
Speaker 1:Hey, listen we all are?
Speaker 3:You ain't say where you're from I mean next president, who knows I might be gone soon. Who knows, I am born and raised DC.
Speaker 1:Was part.
Speaker 3:Not PG County, not Montgomery. Oh my God, I am born and raised in Southeast DC.
Speaker 1:Southeast Capital Hill.
Speaker 3:Oh and DD. Ok, you, yes me, I did not come. You eat onion pickles and all that. Maryland or Merlin or Baltimore. I didn't come here until graduating to graduate school. So yes, born and raised in Washington DC.
Speaker 1:What keeps you here?
Speaker 3:A couple of things. Well, initially it was my husband. Of course he's from.
Speaker 1:Baltimore, we always get one. Exactly, see, I knew it. Yeah, I love you, yeah, we love a DC PG.
Speaker 3:You know y'all love your DC girls, you know we love you OK. So, and then, right now, I mean, the cost of living is cheap, to be honest, like In DC.
Speaker 1:No, I'm talking about here in Baltimore. Oh, you're a painter. What keeps me here? Right, it's a couple of Baltimore people.
Speaker 3:My family is still like in the PG DC area and I'm like, yeah, when I go down there, even just small things, I go down to buy a salad. I'm like, oh Jesus, oh, I'm not paying for that. I don't even got no croutons in it, I'm not eating that Exactly and I'm like I can get the same thing Like no houses, everything. So, yeah, so that's what's keeping me here right now. I'm like the pockets. I'm like, yes, it's a lot cheaper here for now, when the last time you, lady, surprised yourselves.
Speaker 2:In what way?
Speaker 1:In any way. Last time you surprised yourself.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to say surprise, I say treat, how about that?
Speaker 1:You say what again Treat? Ok, I'm here.
Speaker 2:So I treat myself all the time. Today I went and got my nails done, got my little massage, then last month, when it brought me a new purse because I've been doing so many things- I need to spoil myself If you don't spoil yourself. You can't wait for somebody else to. That's how I look at it.
Speaker 1:OK, all right. Independent women All right, ok, all right. So I'm a sly fast professional, because I forgot what I was talking to you when the last time you surprised yourself.
Speaker 3:So surprised myself, like you said, like in the treat way or just in general In general, something you accomplished that you was like, oh wow, that's pretty dope. I guess in general overall, like I surprised myself in kind of like how I reacted to things now OK. I mean because of course it was a high head. Back in the. I wouldn't say I was a high head, but yes, that's a high head right there.
Speaker 2:I've been a curse somebody. I used to curse people out didn't care.
Speaker 1:You was an.
Speaker 3:Air Force.
Speaker 2:No, I was an Army.
Speaker 3:All right, OK, that's the one. Like I said, you know, I didn't, I thought I was bad until I need. I'm like I take back. I'm like oh no she got it, she got it. So yeah, I think, like how I react to certain things I definitely surprised myself, you know, especially recently. I'm like OK, I like chance, you know new chance, so handle that, you know a little bit more professionally. You know a little bit better than back in the day Shancel. So yeah, I think that's. That's one of things. Ways I surprised myself.
Speaker 1:Do you two feel as though you are in a group of black excellence?
Speaker 3:For sure.
Speaker 1:She didn't answer this fast. You're the most qualified person up here. You come, sit here and say I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't know, so I look at things different. So even me being here today is hard because I never, I never talked about myself before. So all of the interviews that I do, I'm nervous, right, right. So I just don't look at myself that way. I look at myself as just a regular person out here doing my thing.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we got a lot of ourselves to get through.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I just don't. I don't know. I don't look at myself like that. I hear so many people saying to me oh, you on the news now, Make sure you don't forget about the little people. But that's not who I am Right, you know. So it's hard for me. I feel like, yes, I'm doing great things, but I'm just regular. I'm a regular person.
Speaker 1:You feel regular.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do. It's, excellent OK.
Speaker 1:It is excellent. Clearly, I need a hype man like this because she is not going to.
Speaker 3:I'm her cheerleader, I'm going to be your biggest cheerleader, like yes and I circle. We have nurses, we have people that's in getting their doctor's degree, we got business owners. We got people that's real estate Like come on now, like yes, I'm not going to have it any other way. I'm not going to have it any other way, like I told you earlier who you have in your circle matters. And yes, I believe it's black excellence. I'm not even going downplay. Yes, it's excellent. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:You know what I noticed here and it's coming from you when you talk about her and highlight her accomplishments, she gets like this, she gets like that, right there. It is something about maybe you or your friendship group that people can celebrate her and say you're doing really good, but it's something different when it comes from your side of the table.
Speaker 3:I'm the cheerleader. I told you I like my philosophy is leading from behind. That's what I'm not used to like being in front of the camera or like doing anything like. I need from behind and I'm going to be I mean background cheerleader, but I'm going to be your cheerleader. I'm going to be your biggest fan, everything all of that.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it. I really do, because there's so many people out here that's faking phony.
Speaker 3:My circle is small.
Speaker 2:So like even after I had my daughter, I hit her up. She the main person I hit up. You know we have other friends, but she's the main one. And if I'm like girl, I need a break, man, I got to get up on out of this house. She like OK, let me do what I got to do. I'm coming when we going, Right. So for me it's just, it's hard sometimes, right, Because I'm still in that mom mode that life mode, grandeur network, right?
Speaker 2:So this is just like oh my goodness, I got this interview. Oh my gosh, I'm nervous again. You know that. So that's kind of how it is for me.
Speaker 1:OK. So I'm going to ask you this Because I'm the only person up here that got a divorce right. So clearly I messed up, so I'm going to ask y'all to.
Speaker 2:I've been divorced. I was married before.
Speaker 1:Oh, I knew you was in the army, but I wasn't going to put you out there like that, but that look that drunk ain't even counting, so we ain't even going to go there.
Speaker 2:I said the same thing.
Speaker 3:That BAH was good though how long were y'all married for?
Speaker 1:How long were you married for?
Speaker 2:Listen, it took long. We wasn't married that long, but it took longer for me to get rid of his behind than we was married.
Speaker 1:I did it for like a year and a half. A year and a half.
Speaker 3:I ain't just your task. When I don't count, that don't count.
Speaker 1:You know, they didn't even make it so for married women. How do y'all clarify the boundaries? Or if y'all don't even do it, Are y'all even allowed to have single male friends?
Speaker 2:So it's not about. It's not being allowed to have any.
Speaker 1:The loud word was crazy, that part.
Speaker 2:I was like wait.
Speaker 1:Allowed, so what?
Speaker 2:I would say to you is when me and my husband met, I was like yo, I got these homeboys. We've been friends for 10 plus years.
Speaker 1:He's like that's how we all do it.
Speaker 2:And then he met him. He was like oh OK, I ain't got nothing to worry about, but for me, like those are like my friends. And that's it. I don't have too many like really close male friends. And the ones that do come around. They at family events. They know the family.
Speaker 1:They like the family yeah.
Speaker 2:Now, do I have associates that I know you know throughout the years? Yes, but I'm bringing them to the house. You know what I'm saying. No, I'll be like, oh yeah, I spoke to someone, so, oh, how you know them. Oh yeah, you know, I remember I told you it's more of that, but I'm not going out and hanging out with them. The only people I'm hanging out with for the most part is, like those day one male friends, and he already know already know about from when we first met, and that's it.
Speaker 3:That part.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, now, miss Mams, we're going to say the word allowed, but what's what's happening? What's going on?
Speaker 3:I mean, I mean vice, I mean the same way, if you know, if I didn't know them like prior to us you know getting together or you know getting married and things like that. Like I mean, what's? I don't? I don't really see a point. I mean, and beyond this, men don't want to be your friend. Like I feel like like come on.
Speaker 1:We are finally having a woman say go and say one more time, the camera looking at you, look, they trying to get them cheeks, they're not trying to be your friend, okay, if it's not like a co-worker or something like that.
Speaker 3:No, they not to be trusted, even though that's true, but I mean like at that point you can't really write, but they ain't trying to be your friend, though.
Speaker 1:No so no, it's not happening.
Speaker 2:No new friends, unless it's something that's like you know a friend or the family and they like, oh yeah, you know my nephew coming in town, you know, but it just, it really just depends. It really just depends. But no new friends.
Speaker 1:Do y'all have do either. You have call it unrealistic boundaries for your husbands.
Speaker 2:I Don't think so. My husband, your homebody, you know so. For him he just want to be in the house, you know. So I don't feel that I have unrealistic Expectations, but you know my thing for him and I tell him all the time I was like we have to continue today. You know so for me that is not Important, that is not unrealistic.
Speaker 2:That is like. This is what we need to do. You know we only three years in the game, so you have to date me. You have to make me feel special, because if you don't, I would be out here looking like, okay, what the world?
Speaker 1:right Question. I don't know if either one of y'all just gonna say real quick Are you traditionally traditional marriage or you want to this new age marriage?
Speaker 2:What's this new age?
Speaker 1:new age marriages. We go divorce fast.
Speaker 2:No, so this is our thing, what we do not even speak the D word.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:So that's not an option. I'm mad at you going downstairs or wherever, whatever room you want to go into, because the house big enough. I'll see you in the morning or whenever you cool off, but we not.
Speaker 1:So at what point from? I'm glad you said it. So at what point do you get to this position, to where men Get comfortable, right? So if you do have a problem or whatever and the media is, yeah, he be, be out, we ain't worry about it? Is it a point of dismissal or just we've been with each other too long. I'm just comfortable now.
Speaker 2:Well, I believe that is people being comfortable, but if you have that communication, okay, I'll tell you once okay, baby, but second, third, fourth time, look, now we done spoke about this, you know. I'm not trying to, you know, hurt your feelings, but you sound like you heard feelings, everybody.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna try to hurt your feelings.
Speaker 2:It's not meant to be that way, but at the end of the day, if I feel like it's something small that you can do, you know, to make me happy. Like everybody's, love, language is different with yours. I Like affection.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:So I don't feel like I have these crazy Expectations, but you know, I've had to tell my husband. You know I don't need flowers all the time, but you know I like certain things. You know I like hugs, I like like action. You know so he's, so he started doing that more.
Speaker 1:Are you mean his love language though?
Speaker 2:So his love language is totally different than mine. So his is gifts, oh, which is hard because he doesn't really Want much, right? So for him it could be oh, I saw your socks has some holes. I'm gonna buy you some new socks, right? So for him it's simple stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know or.
Speaker 2:I'm, and we had crab cakes in a minute. Let me go grab, you know. So it's stuff like that for him, but he's simple, he's a little older, he just like, like I said, no, it was a little older, Was a little older so I'm 37, he's 43.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right all right, so he's Stella.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so for him, if I go buy some cigars for him, he cool, okay, you know, I get some. Henny. Oh, you got the whatever the really expensive bottle, this like 200. He like oh, you was thinking about me.
Speaker 1:Okay, is it easier to date him now because he's older?
Speaker 2:No, cuz, now he's chilled out, he's older now, like that when I met him he was chill, but and we have conversations all the time it's like if I would have met him back, we was out of here in these streets. Nah, it wouldn't have worked out Because he was out here in these streets but he chilling down, he been there, done that.
Speaker 1:Is it a problem If he wasn't, like if for women do you acquire as you get and go to, for man to have those experiences like I was outside cool, I want to chill now or if he never experienced it?
Speaker 2:So for me I'm glad that he had those.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm not getting off you, frank, you didn't say it quiet.
Speaker 2:I'm glad. I'm glad he had the experiences, because I meet so many people that's like, oh, my boyfriend, my spouse, they never did this or they never did that. So now it's all of this like, oh Well, what if or can we do these things together? No, you should have did that before we met like Crazy.
Speaker 1:But for men, we expect that when you, coming as our wives whatever I think or have an idea about you, are supposed to supply this.
Speaker 2:I can't go nowhere else it's hard I'm not and it's so hard because, number one, I believe that you know.
Speaker 1:This is the vice-part-cast. You're free to say whatever you want, so.
Speaker 2:I do believe that, as humans, we would never meant to be with one person right.
Speaker 1:Did. A woman finally said thank God.
Speaker 2:So I do believe that, but I also believe that you should have had certain experiences at a certain age. Okay, should not come until you 30, 40 years old, coming to me talking about yeah, baby, I never did a threesome when I was in my teens was good, nah, we married. We not introducing under that into. We ain't doing none of that, but you should have did that stuff when you were younger but don't you fit hold on cuz me.
Speaker 1:You need to talk in friend. Friend, yes, so do you agree that your man, before he met you, should have had the whole phase beforehand, or are you okay with him? We live in all that just with his wife you.
Speaker 3:Um, it can vary. I mean I'm more of, like you know, kind of the free spirit.
Speaker 1:I'm very you give an art a little bit, a little bit a little bit. So I mean, if there's something, charge your crystals on a full moon.
Speaker 3:But no, I mean I definitely feel like. I mean it can definitely be a conversation and, like I said, it's all about those boundaries and things like that. I mean whole phase yes, like you get that out the way. But I mean there are some things like you just want to experience with your partner, like, oh no, I never wanted to threesome, but now that I've met you, like I feel like that'd be something beautiful we can experience together.
Speaker 1:I know you are to y'all. Y'all just make us fall in love. You'd be like it's something beautiful. Babe, we're here, nothing but yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I feel like every relationship is different and like it just all depends on, like you know, what you said and those boundaries and things like that, and just prospecting those, like those are there's. I mean now they call it ethical monogamous. You know all of that type of stuff.
Speaker 3:But I mean, I guess I feel like you know open communication and you know just kind of respecting those boundaries and you know, whatever you know, whatever you into, I'm not going yuck your yum. I mean, like I said, this person I was when I was there is nothing person I may, you know, get into something like oh, I never Experienced that before. Like hey, you want to try this, but you know it's open for conversation.
Speaker 1:So I'm gonna shut it down. Everybody loses and gains a part when they get with somebody. You got to give a part of yourself up the gain, apart from him. Vice versa, what did you give up for your husband? What part of you did you give up? Yeah, husband, I know you gonna watch. I got you stay tuned.
Speaker 3:What did I give up? Um, that's a good question, I don't know. You gotta come back to me now. I gotta think about that one a little bit.
Speaker 1:Husband, I ain't let you go. What did you give up to be with the?
Speaker 2:husband I'm not gonna say I gave up a lot, but I feel like when we were dating, I was still, you know, having fun. You know was more like, oh, I'm doing this right. So now being married is like, oh, do you mind? I feel like it's more when I say a loud.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, but do you mind? Words, words matter words matter, words matter.
Speaker 2:So I feel like it's more out of us. But hey, do you mind if I go out and do this, or? Hey, this is what I got on the calendar. I'm sending you this invite, right? So even for tonight, hey, you know, I want to do this podcast. Yeah can you watch, zerry, you know? So I just feel like for me it was more so of I had to make sure things were okay first, when we versus when we were dating.
Speaker 1:That ain't too bad, husband. He's gonna watch oh, and we're on you. You thought the question was over. What did you give up?
Speaker 3:Um, I mean as everybody. I mean I gave up the streets like I'm not.
Speaker 1:She said I'm glad I gave it up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's that's that's what I one of the things I gave up.
Speaker 1:And that's hard.
Speaker 2:You know, because when you're out and about, like we go out to DC and you know we have a good time, and then you know, we meet people and they're like, yeah, what's good we going here afterwards? Yeah, I'm going on to my family. Thanks for the drink, but now I'm going home like now I'm good.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna ask you this because we we spoke on you having Zerry. Are you against having kids?
Speaker 3:I'm not against having kids right now. It's just not in my Full front, it's not in my plan right now, if you don't, would you be okay? I'll be okay you.
Speaker 2:Well, she's living her best life.
Speaker 1:Ain't nothing wrong with that. Listen, the first one surprised me, so I understand.
Speaker 2:Look, I'd be like hey, where you at, she's like girl, I'm here, ok, I'm like yo, let's get drinks.
Speaker 1:Oh, when you're friends with no kids action or do stuff, oh, you just can do whatever you want.
Speaker 3:Hey like you trying to go? You know, have dinner in Italy. Let's go Like come on.
Speaker 1:I got my babies in there Bring her with you.
Speaker 2:Let's go. Yeah, I'm like yo take me with you. That's how I feel. I just texted hey, where you at. Oh, I'm here this weekend. I'm like damn, I miss the days I used to be that, yeah, like pre-marriage, pre-kids, I was gone every weekend. I was somewhere. You know vacations two, three times a year.
Speaker 1:I was gone.
Speaker 2:Now it's like, ok, we got a planet, you know, and if we don't plan it, it ain't happening. Well, if I don't plan it, it ain't happening, right? Because I'm like look, even right now I'm like, ok, we going to go away in January. What's your budget?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Where you trying to go Because we going somewhere. How much leave you have? Like that's what it is right now. I'm already like hitting my arm up. Hey, what you got going on these dates.
Speaker 1:Can you?
Speaker 2:watch Zerry, Like that's what it is.
Speaker 1:So, with your father being in a situation, and what was your parents' situation like growing up?
Speaker 3:My parents' situation, parenting situation growing up was pretty cool. I mean, from what I remember, I felt like my parents they did the whole co-parenting thing before it became an actual thing, oh, ok, ok. So my father, my mother, was actually in school. She was in college when she had me, so my father kind of took care of me.
Speaker 3:You, know majority of my infant life and my mother took care of me during the night. So they did a really good co-parenting thing Like my mother never, even though they weren't together, they were growing up. My mother never talked bad about my father in front of me Like it was a very positive and nurturing environment, even when my father remarried my mother and my bonus mom. They still talk to this day, they still go out for lunch and things.
Speaker 1:So it was a very like.
Speaker 3:How about you call her the bonus mom? Yeah, I mean I love where she is. She is my bonus mom and my father you know he passed away and things like that but my mother and my bonus mom, they still are together, like I mean, they still hang out and things like that. So it was a very like cohesive environment and it was a very good upbringing. I mean I can't complain.
Speaker 1:So from both of you, now that you gave me that answer, who taught you how to love a man correctly?
Speaker 2:Trial and error.
Speaker 3:My father.
Speaker 2:For me, trial and error, oh God. I mean, I had you know uncles and people in my life that showed you know like, hey, this is how you should be treated and this is you know right and wrong. But at the end of the day, for me I just feel like once I was out there, I'm young, I'm out here in these streets learning, and that's just what it was. It was like I'm the oldest, it's three girls. So I'm the oldest and I was just learning, so that's how.
Speaker 1:I trial and error. Yeah, trial and error.
Speaker 2:Oh God, he was doing too much. Ok, I'm gone, you know that's just what it was. That's how I learned.
Speaker 1:And yours was from your father.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was from my father, like I said, he remarried my bonus mom and they were like a really example, a true example of like a good marriage. I never seen them argue like in front of. They never argued. I never seen them like they met each other in front of us. They did a really good job of like protecting their marriage and, you know, making sure they set a good example and things like that. My father, you know, he showed me like, look, if a man don't treat you how I'm treating you, how I'm showing you right now, he don't deserve you Like all of that, like it was. It was. It was, it was really good and really urgent and it taught me a lot and I'm like, so I need God day. I'm like, look, you got some big shoes to fill because, yeah, you got to. You got to step your game up.
Speaker 1:So, so sure Women, I got to ask you say yours? You don't speak that D word, so I got to ask, because I asked the men. Now I got women, married women. How do you feel about cheating?
Speaker 3:Hmm, good.
Speaker 1:The pen has dropped in the room.
Speaker 2:Yes, so, honestly, I feel that it depends on the situation.
Speaker 1:You really want to thank you.
Speaker 2:I want you. Why I got to be one of your?
Speaker 1:I really connect with us. It's just to make a queen.
Speaker 2:I got no seriously, I feel like it depends on the situation. Now, I know people and we all know people out here. They slaying in our handy streets, women and men, right, but I honestly feel like what if you and your spouse was going through something, really going through something, and you were telling them hey, I'm not getting this from you? I need this babe, I need that and they like whatever. And then you got it from somewhere else. I'm kind of with you on that and you felt like oh, shoot man, I could have.
Speaker 1:That wasn't worth it.
Speaker 2:So then you know, let's say, the person found out or they don't find out and you don't do it anymore and you know at the end of the day, if it was that one mistake, ok, but if it's a constant thing, then I feel like I don't know if I'm going to be in that situation anymore.
Speaker 1:So they always say I'm going to say. Women always say why not just leave? If you're going to cheat, why not?
Speaker 2:Because you never know what people going through. That's how I look at it. I don't judge anybody. You know, you see all these people out here, social media, the news and they're like, oh well, this person, my spouse, was cheating. But do you know what was going on in that household?
Speaker 1:Some people try to give it a no, nonsense like no, but at the end of the day, what was going on in that relationship?
Speaker 2:that wasn't being done, and you was even telling them what was really going on, and that's how I look at it. Will I be mad? Hell, yeah, I'm going to be mad. Right? Well, I forgive you?
Speaker 1:Probably not and it's going to take time, but I was probably not and it's going to take time. I'm just saying I ain't going to forgive you and it's going to take time, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think about it, yeah, but at the end of the day, people that you see on social media and all these places they not paying your bills. You know they entertainment and it's not. It's not real right, it's not they're not in your Finally saying they not in your household.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right, so real people go through real stuff. Mm hmm, you know, no matter what happens. So will I be mad if my spouse cheated? Yeah, or if he found out I cheated? Yeah, he'll be mad. But what is the reason behind that cheating?
Speaker 1:You know you coming off very logical with this response. You gotta be, I mean I don't feel like.
Speaker 3:I mean I don't feel like it's a deal breaker, but I mean, yeah, I mean it's a breach of trust and things like that. But I mean for a, for a. Let's talk about like, on the other hand, because I'm here for the men, because I feel like when a woman cheats.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes, 100%. The end of the world.
Speaker 3:It's the end of the world.
Speaker 1:It is done, yes.
Speaker 3:It is over. I could never like.
Speaker 1:OK, right now I'm going to talk to y'all. Have y'all ever had a situation with a man and felt nothing? You didn't like him, you didn't feel no type of way about him emotionally, you just gave him the box.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course, for real. Yeah, of course, hold on, especially when you're young.
Speaker 3:I don't know why that's a surprise, especially nowadays. That is not a surprise Like so way.
Speaker 1:You didn't like him, you didn't feel mostly connected, nothing.
Speaker 2:No, look, everybody do things to get the things that they want.
Speaker 1:We've been lying, we've been telling us off this lie for years.
Speaker 2:I don't know what you're, I don't know, I don't know girls You're dealing with.
Speaker 1:But we always say women are more emotional. We are.
Speaker 2:We are and we can be dependent on the situation. So if I'm in a situation and I'm like I'm just trying to, you know, get what I need, and I know that he could give me those things, ok, if that's in that mindset that I'm in.
Speaker 2:But if I'm in that place where I'm like, OK, I'm looking to be in a relationship or I'm looking for all of these different things, yeah, I'm going to be emotionally attached. But if I'm not really looking for much and I'm not having fun, I'm all in these streets just like you out here. But I mean, when you're younger I feel like that's more so the mentality. Once you get older once you get older and I'm talking about you young, 15, 16,- you know, you're all silent.
Speaker 1:You're earthy, as you would say.
Speaker 2:You're earthy, yeah I mean it just honestly depends. But, what you do when you're younger is totally different than what you do in your 20s and your 30s. That's just how I look at it.
Speaker 1:Miss logical. So so so wait, hold on. Y'all just said all this before the marriage. We always happily in love and all that. Have y'all cheated In the marriage? No, no, single single, when you were with somebody else outside the marriage.
Speaker 2:I believe everybody cheated in some way. Did you have sex with them? You may not have. Were you texting and talking to them?
Speaker 3:That was real survival. Ok, it's about language. It's about language. You got emotional cheating.
Speaker 1:You can cheat without being physical yeah.
Speaker 2:If you're not giving me what I want, I'm out here. I may be emotionally.
Speaker 1:Emotionally cheating is a thing, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I believe everybody cheated. That's just how I look at it.
Speaker 1:How you look at it.
Speaker 3:I mean, I look at it the same way, like I feel like it's. You know what everybody considers as cheating and not emotional cheating. You know people. You know people consider looking at porn as cheating. Like it's so many different. It's so many different. You know levels on what people consider as cheating. But I mean to a certain extent, yeah, you can say that everybody has cheated at some point in life.
Speaker 1:Is looking at porn cheating.
Speaker 3:Some people consider it.
Speaker 1:I'm asking you I don't consider it cheating.
Speaker 2:No, no, because that may get that person where they need to be.
Speaker 1:But that's given something that's supposed to be for you away, is it not?
Speaker 2:No, it ain't given it away, Because it's your body right. God gave you hands or whatever else you want to do with those hands to use on your body. So, no, you're not cheating. Now, if you in the video, that's so ridiculous. If you in that video, that's different. But if you like, okay, well, it take me, you know, to get to where I need to be. I got to watch this because, I'm going to just be honest, some of y'all guys not always doing what you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1:No one teaches us, though. So y'all want us to come pre-installed, right.
Speaker 2:So what you're saying is we have to have a whole phase, because if we get to y'all and we don't perform right, First, and this is not always in what hurts a lot of men is that all of those women during the whole phase never told you about yo. You ain't doing it right, exactly. So then you get over here in certain relationships.
Speaker 3:That is your teacher. It's like looking at porn or looking at whatever. Is that that's your teacher, then, yeah, you got a long way to come in, sir.
Speaker 1:So what you're saying is oh so are you willing to teach a man though?
Speaker 3:As long as he's willing for you, for for me or whoever, whatever woman, to accept that, as long as they're willing to accept it and then most men, if he's in love with you, like my husband, for example, he wants to know, like yo, I need to know, like what, everything about you, how you like it, when you like this that like what turns you on, like I need to know everything.
Speaker 3:He wants to learn my body, he wants to learn everything about me. So yeah, these teachable then of course. But you know, like you said, you got some men that think they've been slinging like they whole life and you be like oh, that's what you was doing, that's what you were like. Oh, ok, yeah, All right, all right yeah.
Speaker 1:OK, that's. That's different. I really hear that from a woman's perspective.
Speaker 2:So so what? I and I always say this in any situation expectations versus reality, right? So yeah, people out here, whether it's hey, I thought marriage was going to be this way. I thought, you know, being a parent was going to be that way, having sex was going to be this other way. But you see all of this stuff on TV, but when you actually do it, you're like, oh, this ain't what I thought. They ain't, they ain't give me no warning label or nothing. So I'm out here just doing whatever.
Speaker 1:So that's a bright shot, hey right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So for me I just feel that men have to be open. You know they say, oh, tell me, let me know what I, what I do.
Speaker 1:That's a lie. You hear me? And when?
Speaker 2:you do they in a feeling and they feel it.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying what I actually does. Both of you I'm actually friend, say, say this is your last day on Earth, right? This is just what I say, and you had to have say one final word. You know matter of fact. No, this was your last day, right, and you had to be remembered for something. What do you think you'd be remembered for? Like, what do?
Speaker 3:I think I'll. What do I think or what do I want to be remembered for?
Speaker 1:What do you want to be remembered for?
Speaker 3:Hmm, I would want to be remembered for consistency, just being that consistent friend or being that consistent person, never like that flip, like oh, I got this person, I got this person. No, I was consistent with you. Whether I liked you or I didn't, I was consistent. I was consistent.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was consistent in my caregiving, my loving nature. They know what they're going to get.
Speaker 1:How about you?
Speaker 2:For me people say I don't know what to say out my mouth, sometimes especially my siblings. For me that's going to not be anything new. I just want people to be like she was who she was and that's what it was. That's what it was. She was going to tell you what it was. That said, and she was just always motivated and always trying to do something and take people along with me. So I'm always trying to educate along the way. So that's, me.
Speaker 1:If you had to talk to your little self right now, what would you tell her?
Speaker 2:Don't listen to what people say and do everything that you want to do. Don't listen to anybody with the negativity, you're going to fail. But you're also going to be able to excel along the way.
Speaker 1:How about you?
Speaker 3:I will definitely tell my little self that you can create the life that you want. I definitely grew up in a church household so I thought things had to be this way when you get married. You got to do this when you grow up you got to do this. Follow these.
Speaker 1:You went through the steps I went through the steps I did.
Speaker 3:Then I realized I can create the life that I want. I define my own life, I define my marriage. I define how I want everything to be. It doesn't have to be the traditional way, it doesn't have to be in this little box. I would definitely tell my younger self that you don't have to follow those steps. Do what you want to say. You're going to make it regardless. You define that?
Speaker 1:What is next? For I love you, Daddy.
Speaker 2:I love my. Daddy, I love my Daddy.
Speaker 1:You were supposed to say it right at the end I love my Daddy. I love my Daddy. What is next? Is there going to be a sequel to the book? I love my Daddy too.
Speaker 2:Again. I get that a lot too. People want a little boy. They want something for a little boy. You can have a little boy for that. Right, right, I get a lot of that? I don't know. I have ideas in my head for the next book. Of course I don't want to share everything.
Speaker 2:I don't need nobody else out here trying to steal my ideas, for right now I'm definitely just promoting. I'm here talking about me and people see a different side of who I am. Tomorrow I have an event, I have something with Head Start.
Speaker 1:I'll be out there, that's my little kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do love the kids. Yes, I did a book reading at my daughter's school.
Speaker 1:She taught let's say they talked about that for days.
Speaker 2:Look, they didn't want me to leave. There was about 24 of them and I had for two classes and they was like no, don't leave. I had the kids up dancing, I had the microphone, they sang and I just love what I do. Right, it's not a job. It's not a job for me. I'm so passionate about it.
Speaker 3:My husband. He's like man, you'll be up to 12 at night.
Speaker 2:All I hear is clickity, clickity, clack. He's like you out here doing big things. He's like I admire you because you found something that you love For me. I'm out here promoting the book. If you want to support me, it's on Amazon. Purchase more books so I can get number one best seller Of course you are, why not I'm not? That yet Six of days.
Speaker 2:That's going to be another plaque on the wall, that would be awesome to get best seller Everybody in my family. I did a book signing. I had family come up from Florida. People came from New York, georgia, virginia, north Carolina just to see me for this book signing.
Speaker 2:I was so excited to be able to share it with my family. My grandmother came up, my father's mother. She was so proud, so so proud of me Just having so many people coming up. Like I said before, I want to do what you do, and how did you do it? It makes me feel so good.
Speaker 1:You're proud of yourself, of course I am.
Speaker 3:I downplay it, that's who.
Speaker 2:I am, because that's not the type of person I am. I'm more chill and I support other people. This, for me, is all new. I have to talk about myself.
Speaker 3:You do.
Speaker 2:Which I normally don't. This is a lot.
Speaker 1:You do amazing. I appreciate it. You put your right hand with you, she was like I ain't coming.
Speaker 2:She said she was coming, but she was like I ain't speaking, I ain't doing all of that. She tried that.
Speaker 1:She gave me the secret sauce. She said she liked tequila. I was like, say less, we got her. Do you do the social media thing? Are you on social?
Speaker 3:media. I'm on social media, but very little.
Speaker 1:You want that one page. Is that your only page?
Speaker 2:I want to have my personal page.
Speaker 1:No one sees that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do, I tag stuff. It's not that well, it's need-a-may, it's my personal social media, but Neha cares LLC is all of my social media. Of course it's for the business, of course it is, but look this one over here. She has a nonprofit.
Speaker 1:So you didn't want to say nothing. This whole show. Yeah, Right here that camera.
Speaker 3:Shout out to nonprofit. I'm not on social media personally, but business-wise. I use it for my nonprofit, which is Cheer Up Wellness, which is a nonprofit foundation. Yes, that promotes social and emotional wellness for adults. We do different programs and events.
Speaker 1:So you have a nonprofit that you set on for this whole entire show.
Speaker 3:It is not about me. This is my bestie time to shine.
Speaker 1:Yes, give it to her Listen, when you next to stars, don't dim your light.
Speaker 3:I'm not dimming my light. My light still shines, but I definitely give the spotlight.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, so tell people where they can find your nonprofit support. It all at Good.
Speaker 3:Stuff. Yes, you can find my nonprofit at CheerUp Wellness. Our website is cheerupwelnessorg. We have an event coming up at the Care First Blue Cross, blue Shield. I got that in shorts. Very good partnership. Yes, coming up on August 19th. But yeah, at CheerUp Wellness you can definitely find us. We have so many different programs we have different events.
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on. You say you are part of a nonprofit, or you.
Speaker 3:I'm the founder, so you got so many partnerships.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're back, abby. Oh you modest. Okay, you went into the show.
Speaker 3:You went into the show to let you know you're leading real from behind.
Speaker 1:Okay, so Blue Cross, blue Shield, is one of your sponsors. Say it.
Speaker 3:Care First.
Speaker 1:Blue.
Speaker 3:Shield is one of my sponsors, one of our partners.
Speaker 1:I mean partners you got.
Speaker 3:We got a few partners.
Speaker 1:Would you like to name another one?
Speaker 3:Yes, we have a senior villages in DC. We have some senior villages that we do partner with. We do monthly workshops, wellness workshops with them. One of them is like Kingdom Care Senior.
Speaker 1:Village. Did you call switch on me just now? Did you call switch?
Speaker 3:I told you which personality do I got to bring? Okay, I didn't want to sign no contracts, you just relax. Exactly, I asked you which personality do I got to bring to the full price?
Speaker 1:Okay, and what about you? Who would I confine this amazing author? You might see on TV All that good stuff.
Speaker 2:All right. Again, this is Arthur Juanita Banks Whittenton, for I Love my Daddy. You confined me at Nd High Cares LLC. For all of my social media, nehi Cares LLC.
Speaker 1:Listen how PR team is amazing. Listen, she was emailing me PR. I say this a lot.
Speaker 2:Of course you are. If you reached out to me then I'm like, okay, who is this? That's not what happened?
Speaker 3:What happened? That's not what happened. What's?
Speaker 1:the. Thing.
Speaker 3:What happened?
Speaker 1:What the real T was.
Speaker 3:He sent me a message on.
Speaker 2:IG and he got my automatic message. Is that what you think happened? Yes, okay, are you real? Because in was my PR team, lemore PR like.
Speaker 1:First, I was told the truth before we get out of here. No, that's not what happened at all. What happened was your PR team reached out to me so I responded I'm too fast, I'm up at night. They didn't give me an email back fast enough, so I took it upon myself Google hello. Then I emailed you and said you're going to ask me if I'm real.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm real. I told you I get a lot of spam. Now I get a lot of spam.
Speaker 1:We made it happen. I'm glad we did. I'm glad we got to talk to each other, got to know a little bit more about the person behind the book, behind the smiles and all of that good stuff. And we got to see somebody that got a you know a nonprofit. You know one of her partners. So I appreciate you women for excluding everything that used to happen in your life and still get to where you are now A peddome of black excellence comes from women, and you two managed to find each other and still excelling your own different lanes. So I am proud of you for coming out of your shell, for you know, tequila helped before you coming out your shell.
Speaker 1:So this has been another lovely episode of the vibes podcast. Man, if you haven't noticed, we got the book here. She told me I had no choice but to buy. I'm gonna have a sign it though. I love my daddy by an amazing author. Man, listen, this book this is my first time seeing it and I ain't gonna lie. The illustration this right here. This right here. Listen, listen, this is HD.
Speaker 1:This looks like me when I get 40. Listen, y'all are going to love this book. If you are parents, if you are a single parent, if you are a father you gotta show me I've just seen this who this?
Speaker 2:She got natural black curls. Not that one. That's the AI version, Not that one. It's another page in there. Oh no, oh no.
Speaker 3:That's a better picture Everybody doing what the AI thinks. That's the AI illustration.
Speaker 1:You ain't watch out you gotta be reading the book all fast, zurigan, her shoes tied, let's see y'all got a dog?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's Ivy. Oh, this one, this you, that's me. Yes, I'm in there a couple times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, check out, I love my daddy man going to get it to the you know the best sellers list, as she deserves.
Speaker 3:Yeah manifest it.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're gonna clap for your friend Come on. Sometimes you clap before yourself. So, listen, check us out on the next episode, man. We go and get this to as many people as possible. It's about the author, it's about the kids, it's about I love my daddy. Listen, we will be back with another episode, man. This is the Vibes podcast and you are going to check us on the next one.
Speaker 3:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're not done yet. Oh, I ain't done, oh, oh.