Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy
(0:01) Welcome to the Business of Happiness podcast. (0:05) It's your host, Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy, and this is the podcast where we put happiness first. (0:14) I help high-achieving, deeply passionate healthcare professionals like you rediscover their happiness and their freedom.(0:23) Join me in conversations with experts to uncover our unique definition of happiness and answer the question, is there really such a thing as work-life balance? (0:35) If you've heard yourself saying, you know, I'll be happy when? (0:41) Well, my friend, the time is now.(0:44) Time to step out of the busyness of your life and time to step into the business of happiness. (0:56) Hi, Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy here. (0:58) Welcome back to the Business of Happiness podcast.(1:01) I know I'm starting with a question. (1:05) I'm posing it to you. (1:06) I am so interested to know.(1:09) And just as a reflection, I mean, what does wealth mean to you? (1:15) So often we come into this profession, I mean, for many reasons, right? (1:20) Whatever drew you to dentistry or medicine, it was very likely some combination of you were smart.(1:29) You did well in school. (1:32) Maybe you had a personal experience in your life with a dentist or in medicine or as a patient and you were really impacted deeply by someone. (1:45) Or maybe it was a family member that had an influence on you.(1:49) Or maybe it was, as it is for so many dentists, this marriage of science and artistry, right? (1:58) Bringing the two together. (1:59) Maybe it was this dream of entrepreneurship, owning your own business and leading a team.(2:06) Or maybe you really did just create teeth in art class and you've always been fascinated by teeth. (2:13) There are people like that. (2:14) Maybe that's you.(2:15) But whatever it is, I'm sure there was a component of financial freedom that dentistry promised. (2:24) And this sense of wealth, right? (2:28) So what is that for you now in your life?(2:31) I mean, have you allowed that to evolve over time? (2:36) This morning I had such a fun experience with my husband. (2:40) As you know, Killian is an oral surgeon here in the community.(2:44) And this morning he did something not at all related to oral surgery. (2:50) It was actually funny. (2:50) Oral surgery brought him to this opportunity.(2:52) But he has this history of playing music that he loves in the OR, in the practice. (3:02) And he has this playlist that reportedly goes on for 10 days. (3:06) The Spotify playlist that has 10 days worth of music on it.(3:10) I love it. (3:10) And we've actually played it at home often because it's such an eclectic mix. (3:15) And the influences apparently on this playlist are things like, I guess patients have suggested music.(3:22) He's asked patients, okay, you're about to have this procedure done. (3:25) Is there music you'd like me to play? (3:27) And he's had Vietnamese influences and Spanish and Portuguese.(3:32) I mean, he's got such an eclectic, many genres. (3:36) Some people want heavy metal to help them feel better when they're in surgery. (3:42) I couldn't imagine that.(3:43) And some people want, you know, 80s rock. (3:47) So Killian has a fascinating playlist. (3:49) I guess one of his patients was listening to this eclectic mix and she was asking him about it.(3:56) Well, she turned out she works for a radio station here in Maine. (4:01) So the more she started asking him about his playlist, the more fascinated she was with all the sources that he was drawing on for his music. (4:11) And really wanting to know more about his artistic side, wanting to know more about music and his musical influences.(4:18) And he shared with her that we play music in the house all the time. (4:23) That we have three kids that are all very musical and music is a big part of our lives. (4:31) And this morning he was invited on the radio show to share some of the music he plays in the OR and in the practice.(4:41) And to talk about how this came about. (4:45) This playlist for literally doing procedures and operations on both in the operating room in the hospital and in his private practice. (4:57) And I joined him and it was so much fun.(5:01) It was so much fun. (5:02) We just had a blast. (5:05) You know, he didn't get paid a cent.(5:08) He took time off of work to be there. (5:12) And it was such the highlight of our day, maybe our week. (5:17) Just this community connection.(5:20) This exploring and sharing of his life. (5:24) Connecting. (5:24) It turns out the person who was interviewing him is also Irish.(5:28) She's from Northern Ireland. (5:29) So there was that connection. (5:31) And she took us on a tour of the radio station.(5:35) And it was so fulfilling. (5:38) They were even talking to him about other artistic pursuits. (5:42) Killian is also a photographer.(5:43) And so he was talking about his photography and where he travels for photography. (5:47) And we left there feeling so wealthy. (5:53) Wealthy in a way that isn't defined by the number in the bank account.(5:58) You know, wealth we tend to think of as an abundance of material possessions, right? (6:05) Money, assets that can be liquidated and turned into cash. (6:10) It's usually we look at our net worth, right?(6:15) It's so ironic that this week we actually also have a meeting with our financial advisor. (6:20) So this is really interesting to me to be thinking about money in that sense that really those numbers nowadays is artificial. (6:30) There's no actual dollar bills.(6:32) There's just a number on a computer screen that we're using as an assessment of our financial wealth. (6:40) And yet there are so many other ways to measure wealth. (6:46) You know, we talk about a wealth of experience.(6:50) Also very intangible or a wealth of knowledge. (6:54) And, you know, just thinking about that for a moment, Killian sharing his wealth of Spotify playlist of songs on his playlist. (7:04) The wealth of his experience with patient connection.(7:08) So interesting how sometimes we become so narrowly focused on dollars and cents. (7:17) We forget about wealth interpreted in other ways that actually can have even greater impact on your life. (7:25) I think our personal values influence our sense of wealth, right?(7:33) You can have good health, a wealth of health. (7:37) I mean, that's maybe more important than anything else. (7:40) I mean, none of us are taking our dollars and cents to the grave with us.(7:44) So remembering the importance of paying attention to your personal health, strong relationships. (7:51) There's that study I often reference out of Harvard, the longest running study on happiness that looked at all socioeconomic status, genders, ages, no matter what job you had, religions, spiritual perspectives, intelligence meters. (8:14) It looks at all of the people across all spectrums.(8:18) And the number one influence, statistically significant influence on people's happiness over 85 years, more than 85 years, the study has been running now and it keeps coming to this one parameter that influences happiness. (8:36) You know what it is? (8:37) Deep connected relationships.(8:41) Turns out money in the bank doesn't matter. (8:45) It doesn't. (8:45) In fact, maybe as you're listening to this, you're realizing, yeah, you know, actually often money complicates things.(8:52) A friend of mine recently lost her father and what she's going through right now in the complications it's creating in their family, it's not very much money that he left behind, but man, they're all fighting about it. (9:08) And this person wants the house and this person wants the boat and this person is noticing that the boat is worth more than the house, you know. (9:16) It's interesting how financial wealth, when we put our full value and attention on money, it robs us from the most valuable things in our lives.(9:33) And I'm wondering what that is for you. (9:38) Maybe of greater value at this point in your life is time and freedom. (9:47) Because money can also really narrow our ability for choice.(9:55) And when we hold so many responsibilities and put ourselves up to so many constraints, we can feel really hemmed in by that. (10:03) And it doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank, if you don't have a choice of how you spend the hours of your day, is that wealth? (10:11) Or are we now talking about those golden handcuffs?(10:17) And I'm saying this not to alarm you or cause you to have self-judgment. (10:23) It's just a moment of awareness. (10:26) It's just a moment of permission to step outside of just needing to make money.(10:33) And I know fear speaks really loudly. (10:37) Fear often will creep in and say, oh, but there are these bills to pay. (10:40) And especially for doctors and dentists with student loans, I mean, they're astronomical.(10:46) So just notice the stranglehold that that might have over your decision-making. (10:51) And yet, there's still enormous value, even if you have enormous debt, in stepping away from the need to constantly be driven to making money. (11:05) Constantly be fighting what feels like an uphill battle sometimes.(11:09) Especially with insurance companies gouging so much away from you or feeling like you have so many bills to pay. (11:17) I mean, where can you put some things down? (11:23) All right, my friends, I am interrupting your episode to bring to you some extremely exciting news.(11:29) Because at The Business of Happiness, we are doing something we have never done before. (11:35) Because we know that you are doing such amazing things every single day. (11:41) We know you are literally putting smiles on children's faces on a daily basis.(11:46) And you have spent so many years giving and taking care of and serving and holding space for everyone else. (11:55) Not just your patients, but your team and your family. (11:58) And it is exhausting, and it is time to come back to what is true to you.(12:06) And that is why we are offering the True2Me method. (12:11) We've never done this before, and this is the core, the foundational method, the framework that is at the core of everything we offer, is the True2Me method. (12:24) And we're putting it in a beautiful little package, a self-led course for you, a mini four-step course that you can listen to on the way to work.(12:35) It is going to change the way you see yourself. (12:39) It is going to put you back in touch with what is true to you. (12:43) Because what I know is, up until this point, what we've been taught in dentistry is to outsource our choices and our decisions to the expectations of everyone around us.(12:56) What do my patients need? (12:58) What does my accountant say I need to do? (13:00) What does my family think?(13:02) What do my colleagues expect of me? (13:04) And this four-step method brings you back to you. (13:09) This is the core of finding fulfillment and freedom and satisfaction and enjoyment and living your life to the fullest.(13:19) So check out True2MeMethod.com. (13:23) Easy to remember, True2MeMethod.com. (13:26) And use the code POD10, P-O-D 10, to get a 10% discount as a podcast listener.(13:34) Let me tell you, this is amazing. (13:36) We have already put an enormous savings. (13:40) It's usually $9.97. We're bringing it down to $4.97. And with the POD 10% savings, you get another 10% off. (13:48) This is a no-brainer. (13:49) There are CE credits. (13:51) There's community.(13:52) There's a downloadable companion guide. (13:54) There are monthly check-ins. (13:56) This is amazing.(13:57) You cannot afford to miss it. (13:59) Check out the True2MeMethod.com and use the code POD10. (14:04) I am sending you so much love.(14:06) You deserve to remember what is true for you. (14:10) Now, back to the episode. (14:14) A couple years ago, we sold our lake house because we realized that it was at that point in our lives with our family that we just weren't going there as often.(14:25) And having just that little bit of freedom in terms of bills that we didn't need to pay gave us so much more space. (14:34) Now, zero judgment about having a lake house. (14:37) In the years prior, it was great for us to have the lake house.(14:40) It was actually filling and fueling our wealth, our sense of wealth, because we could have family over. (14:46) And we actually spent a lot of time there with extended family and time by the lake. (14:51) It was lovely.(14:52) And I think the importance is also recognizing the evolution of your definition of wealth. (15:00) Giving yourself permission to not necessarily stick to that one way of being that you decided 20 years ago, even three years ago. (15:13) Allowing your own personal values to evolve over time.(15:18) And giving yourself permission to reflect, you know, what was the most valuable part of my day? (15:25) Maybe it was that conversation with that patient or a conversation with the lady at the barista at the coffee shop. (15:34) And that matters.(15:37) Those human connections matter. (15:41) And maybe it's just the permission. (15:44) The wealth is the permission to follow your greatest desires and not feel that shackling or that confinement by any one thing, whether it's a relationship that's confining you to decisions or choices or a job or a career path or a student loan.(16:06) Anytime we feel hemmed in and dictated by our decision making, it feels like a constraint and robs us of that choice. (16:18) So maybe great abundance and wealth is in the freedom of choice. (16:25) The freedom to choose how you spend the hours of your day.(16:29) The freedom to choose how you feel. (16:33) And giving yourself permission to pay attention to what is it that's restricting me from accessing that wealth. (16:41) I know for me, creative outlets has just been such an enormous way for me to color my life in a more abundant way.(16:54) And the really beautiful thing is when you lean into feeling good, when you lean into the things that light you up, when you follow your desires, when you follow what brings you the greatest excitement, wealth flows, money flows. (17:10) It's energetic. (17:11) Now, here we go talking about energy again.(17:13) But this is real. (17:16) You know, when we approach wealth from a place of fear, constriction, need, it does feel like an uphill battle. (17:26) But when we approach it from a sense of abundance and we open up our awareness to the abundance we do have, even if you're feeling limited financially, when you open up your perspective to the abundance in your life, maybe it's an abundance of people in your life.(17:47) Maybe it's an abundance of resources. (17:50) Maybe it's an abundance of trees. (17:53) But when you start focusing on abundance, more flows to you.(18:00) And this is the law of focus and attention. (18:03) This is your reticular activating system at play. (18:06) This is, from the spiritual perspective, the universe giving you more of what you're appreciating.(18:13) Whatever you appreciate, appreciates. (18:17) And whatever you're living in fear of actually grows as well. (18:25) It's really interesting when whatever we focus on, we actually get more of.(18:31) And the choice, here's that freedom of choice, that value, that abundance of choice. (18:38) When you can identify and open your perspective up to, wow, I get to choose. (18:45) I actually get to choose where I put my focus and attention.(18:49) I can focus on the lack, the not-enoughness, the debt, the numbers being small. (18:58) Or I could choose to focus on the abundance, the wealth. (19:03) I mean, wealth is not a static number.(19:08) It isn't. (19:10) It's perspective. (19:13) And that's why I opened up this podcast today with that question, because it's individual to each of us.(19:20) And when we run through our lives with blinders on, so busy, focusing on a decision we made 20 years ago, to be in this practice with these people working this many days a week, with this many patients, and every year our decision-making is based on how much money I need to earn. (19:40) Am I increasing by 10% or 20% every year? (19:45) Or are my numbers going down?(19:46) Remember, another just perspective. (19:49) I remember in practice, it was scary to have a month that felt like a dip. (19:55) I was still paying the bills.(19:56) But the perspective was less than. (19:59) The perspective was lack. (20:01) The perspective was scarcity.(20:04) Still abundant with the amount of money. (20:06) That was a choice. (20:08) And boy, did it feel heavy.(20:10) Boy, did it feel gross. (20:13) Did it feel insufficient? (20:16) Did I start judging myself?(20:18) But even in that moment, we have choice. (20:22) We have choice to see it differently. (20:24) You know, I remember we used to have slow months in about February.(20:31) That was a trend in Ortho, in the Northeast, whatever the reason was. (20:37) Maybe it was just because we expected it. (20:40) February always felt like a low financial month in the practice.(20:44) And it kind of put you in a little bad mood, March. (20:48) And then because you were so focused on it, it still felt heavy. (20:51) And I learned in April and May to start an abundance practice in the practice.(20:58) An abundance focus. (21:00) And we called it Gratitude Month. (21:02) Such a great way to shape your focus.(21:05) Instead of focusing on all the things that were not good enough, we together as a practice started really holding gratitude. (21:13) So we'd literally write thank you notes to the bus driver who brought kids from the local high school to their appointments. (21:21) Or we'd write thank you notes to our neighbors.(21:24) We did it in hand. (21:25) Or we'd post things on social media about gratitude for the community. (21:29) We started really making an effort to thank our patients.(21:33) And I'd carry it into the rest of my life and to wake up in the morning and just find three things I was grateful for. (21:39) And what I was doing was really focusing on abundance, on wealth. (21:42) And that choice, that intention, it was amazing to see how it turned everything around every single time.(21:53) Now maybe you can say to me, Tarryn, that was a coincidence because maybe your summers just were better, more wealthy months than they were in February, just like February was a low month. (22:04) Yes. (22:06) And remember, we are more energy than we are matter.(22:10) We are more energy than we are matter. (22:15) Every cell in your body is more energy, more space, more vibration than it is matter. (22:22) And the energy that we put out there, that we focus on, is reciprocal.(22:29) When you show up with a sense of abundance and wealth, you don't have that neediness. (22:36) Let's think about new patient exams. (22:38) If you're needing them to say yes, you're bringing that frequency into the conversation and patients feel it.(22:44) You know what that feels like when you go to a car dealership and they have a need to sell before a deadline. (22:53) It feels so gross. (22:54) You can't even articulate it, but you energetically pick up on that.(22:59) And guess what? (22:59) Maybe you walk out without buying the car. (23:02) But when you come into someone's space and you feel this energy of abundance and not being attached to your decisions, man, that feels abundant in your body.(23:15) And then reciprocally, now you're going to buy that car. (23:18) You're going to say yes to that opportunity because that energy is shared. (23:22) There's a co-regulation, not just with other people, but with everything.(23:29) So what if we looked at money as energy as well? (23:33) What if value and wealth was simply energetic? (23:41) So what is your definition of wealth?(23:44) And I wonder if you can open your mind to paying attention to the wealth that is in your life. (23:52) This morning we had probably one of the most wealthy experiences so far this year, Killian and I. (23:59) We made not one dollar.(24:00) In fact, it cost us money taking time off of work. (24:04) And man, was it worth more than a full morning of patient care for sure. (24:10) So I leave you with this.(24:12) What is your definition of wealth? (24:15) And maybe this episode is reminding you of your entitlement, of your, entitlement's the wrong word, and reminding you of your empowerment to choose. (24:30) You are entitled to choose.(24:33) You have the permission to choose. (24:37) Choose your perspective. (24:39) Choose your definition of wealth.(24:41) That is your right. (24:43) And nobody can tell you what that is. (24:46) Nobody can define that for you.(24:50) So what do you choose today? (24:52) And maybe this gives you permission to make a new choice, to evolve your definition, and to give yourself more freedom. (25:03) Because when you feel good, when you feel wealthy, that's when you have even greater impact on the world around you.(25:15) Bye-bye. (25:17) Thank you for listening to the Business of Happiness podcast. (25:21) If this episode brought you new perspective and value, I invite you to subscribe so that you catch all upcoming episodes and leave us a review.(25:31) And if you know of a friend or colleague who could benefit from this perspective, share this episode with them and empower their day. (25:39) For more information about the Business of Happiness and the Radical Happiness for Practitioners course, find me on www.thebizofhappiness.com. (25:50) See you there.
