Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy
(0:01) Welcome to the Business of Happiness podcast. (0:05) It's your host, Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy. (0:08) And this is the podcast where we put happiness first.(0:14) I help high achieving, deeply passionate healthcare professionals like you rediscover their happiness and their freedom. (0:23) Join me in conversations with experts to uncover our unique definition of happiness and answer the question, is there really such a thing as work-life balance? (0:35) If you've heard yourself saying, you know, I'll be happy when?(0:41) Well, my friend, the time is now. (0:44) Time to step out of the busyness of your life and time to step into the business of happiness. (0:54) Hello, welcome to the Business of Happiness podcast.(0:57) My name is Tarryn MacCarthy. (0:59) For those of you who are not familiar with this phenomenal platform, this phenomenal podcast that is created just for you, women in dentistry, a woman who is a leader, a woman who cares so much about everybody else, who does so much for the patients and team and family she serves, a woman who cares deeply. (1:24) This podcast is for you.(1:27) It's a place to come home, to remember who you are, to give you the strength and the power and the confidence to take action on taking care of yourself. (1:37) Because what I know more than anything more true than I've known this my entire life is that when you take care of yourself, when you take radical personal responsibility for your own happiness, the world around you benefits. (1:54) And today's episode is going to be a little bit different because I feel the need to share a very significant experience in my life.(2:08) Just over a week ago, I was flying as I do. (2:12) I usually fly to conferences where I'm speaking on stages to women dentists and sometimes men. (2:18) And this last trip was a little bit different.(2:22) I was flying down to Florida, leaving Maine, (2:25) and I was going to a beautiful four days together with other coaches from all over, (2:33) coaches for women who are in divorce, coaches for women who are leaving corporate, (2:40) coaches for women writers or artists, coaches for children, (2:45) and connecting with the community of coaches that I have become so close with over the past four or five years, (2:53) delivering support and love from this really impactful place of really serving, (3:01) not just with inspiration, (3:03) but serving with actionable practices and tools to be able to give you a sense of empowerment. (3:09) And just as we do with dentistry, there's CE.(3:13) So this was our four days of immersion into continuing education around coaching, specifically in terms of somatics, which I've realized is so critical in women dentists, really helping women dentists at the level of their nervous system to address the fight or flight. (3:34) And I digress. (3:36) I was getting on this plane and about 10 minutes into the flight, we heard the alarms go off in the plane and the pilot came over the speaker and said, we have a fire in the cargo hold of the plane and we are doing an emergency landing.(3:59) So everyone take off your headphones and pay attention to the air hostesses. (4:05) And they're going to walk you through how to do a crash landing. (4:12) And that's exactly what they did.(4:15) They showed us again how to brace. (4:17) They walked down every row of seats as this plane was rapidly descending, asking us to show how we're bracing for impact. (4:27) The alarms were going off.(4:30) They reviewed where our exits were. (4:33) They made us promise not to bring a single item with us. (4:38) We would have 90 seconds to evacuate the plane, upon which there would be fire engines waiting for us to put out the fire.(4:47) And we needed to prepare for a hard impact. (4:52) We were close enough to cell towers that I was able to text my husband. (5:00) And I'm getting emotional just thinking about this.(5:04) I didn't know what was going to happen. (5:06) Nobody on the plane did either. (5:08) It was one of those times where literally my life flashed before my eyes.(5:16) I texted Killian just how much I love him, how grateful I am to have walked this life with him. (5:24) I intentionally did not text my kids because I didn't want them to worry in case we made it out alive, which obviously I did, but I didn't know that at the time. (5:34) I told him to tell my parents that I love them.(5:38) And it is incredible what realization you have if you are gifted an opportunity to experience the last minutes of your life. (5:55) And I tell you right now that I felt so safe and calm and clear more than I have in my entire life. (6:08) And that feeling has stayed with me now for 10 days.(6:14) I saw a life well lived. (6:18) I felt it. (6:20) I saw every moment, every relationship, every experience, whether I've judged it good or bad, as being exactly perfect.(6:33) I was so proud of the life I've lived. (6:36) I was proud of myself as a mother. (6:39) I was proud of myself as an orthodontist.(6:41) I was proud of myself as a coach. (6:43) I was proud of myself as a business owner. (6:47) I was proud of myself as a wife and a mom.(6:51) I know I said mom twice. (6:55) I felt so grateful that I've seen so many parts of this world, that I have loved so many people. (7:03) I felt in my core that every human that I loved knows how much I love them.(7:12) There was nothing I felt unsaid or unspoken or unshared. (7:18) I felt like I'd lived my dreams. (7:22) Literally, everything I've strived to do, I have done and it has been spectacular.(7:29) I felt so full, so full of awe of this journey and really at peace, that if I was going to die that day, it was exactly, exactly the life that I needed to live. (7:49) I am marveling at the fact that I can even say that, because 15 years ago, I most certainly could not have. (8:01) 15, 16 years ago, I was in a very different place.(8:07) I was in a place of feeling completely inauthentic to myself. (8:12) I was not taking care of my body. (8:14) I was not taking care of my family the way I wanted to.(8:18) I was not taking care of my practice the way I dreamed of. (8:21) I wasn't doing what I thought I was here to do on this planet. (8:27) I didn't know what it was.(8:29) I was definitely not engaging in my marriage the way I had dreamed a loving, intimate marriage would feel like. (8:37) I wasn't exploring the world. (8:40) I was in a place of constant fight or flight and chaos.(8:45) And to sit here on this episode and share with you that in those moments, and it was real. (8:51) It's not just a after meditation feeling. (8:55) This was the plane going down.(8:58) This was me texting my husband, I love you and I've lived an incredible life. (9:05) Please know this. (9:07) And those are the words I wrote.(9:08) And I said, and I know you will thrive beyond this. (9:11) And I am so excited for you to continue to live. (9:16) I felt so at peace that my kids would all be fine.(9:21) That I have given them so much love and they know how much love I've held for them. (9:28) That I've given them everything. (9:32) And shown them what a woman who is strong and confident and takes care of herself looks like.(9:41) And that is most certainly not who I was 16 years ago. (9:44) Who I was 16 years ago was a woman who was living in a constant state of (9:51) fight or flight and chaos, (9:53) and didn't know how to regulate her nervous system, (9:56) who was drinking at night just to calm down after a day of work, (10:02) who was giving so much of herself because she cared so deeply, (10:06) but an absolute shell of herself who was sick all the time, (10:11) who was in pain all the time, who had migraines all the time, (10:14) who was 20, (10:16) 30 pounds overweight because of the cortisol that she was constantly (10:21) flushing her body with, who was feeling unfulfilled, (10:25) feeling like there was something she was missing in life.(10:29) And, you know, in that moment last week, 10 days ago, as the plane was heading towards the ground, I also saw that turning point in my life is perfect. (10:41) Exactly what I needed. (10:44) A wake up call 16 years ago to start accepting the responsibility of my own happiness, accepting that radical personal responsibility for taking care of me.(11:02) All right, my friends, I am interrupting your episode to bring to you some extremely exciting news because at the business of happiness, we are doing something we have never done before because we know that you are doing such amazing things every single day. (11:19) We know you are literally putting smiles on children's faces on a daily basis, and you have spent so many years giving and taking care of and serving and holding space for everyone else, not just your patients, but your team and your family. (11:37) And it is exhausting.(11:38) And it is time to come back to what is true to you. (11:45) And that is why we are offering the True To Me method. (11:49) We've never done this before.(11:51) And this is the core, the foundational method, the framework that is at the core of everything we offer is the True To Me method. (12:03) And we're putting it in a beautiful little package, a self-led course for you, a mini four-step course that you can listen to on the way to work. (12:13) It is going to change the way you see yourself.(12:18) It is going to put you back in touch with what is true to you. (12:21) Because what I know is up until this point, what we've been taught in dentistry is to outsource our choices and our decisions to the expectations of everyone around us. (12:35) What do my patients need?(12:36) What does my accountant say I need to do? (12:39) What does my family think? (12:40) What do my colleagues expect of me?(12:43) And this four-step method brings you back to you. (12:47) This is the core of finding fulfillment and freedom and satisfaction and enjoyment and living your life to the fullest. (12:57) So check out TrueToMeMethod.com.(13:02) Easy to remember. (13:03) TrueToMeMethod.com and use the code POD10, P-O-D-10 to get a 10% discount as a podcast listener. (13:13) Let me tell you, this is amazing.(13:15) We have already put an enormous savings. (13:18) It's usually $9.97. We're bringing it down to $4.97 and with the POD 10% savings, you get another 10% off. (13:26) This is a no brainer.(13:28) There are CE credits. (13:29) There's community. (13:30) There's a downloadable companion guide.(13:33) There are monthly check-ins. (13:34) This is amazing. (13:36) You cannot afford to miss it.(13:38) Check out the TrueToMeMethod.com and use the code POD10. (13:42) I am sending you so much love. (13:45) You deserve to remember what is true for you.(13:49) Now, back to the episode. (13:52) Yeah, I think before then, the language I used to use was, oh, it's selfish to make time for me. (13:58) It's selfish to ask for what I need.(14:01) And I realize now it's the most selfless act ever. (14:06) To let others off the hook. (14:09) To accept that responsibility for myself.(14:13) To heal the parts of me that didn't feel good enough. (14:18) Because it was only then, after I healed those parts, that I was able to show up as the mother I know I can be. (14:29) As the leader I always dreamed of being.(14:32) As the human who is so honored to walk this life. (14:38) Guys, we get to be here now. (14:41) We get to do this thing on this planet.(14:44) So after I went to Florida, I actually coincidentally, and there is no such thing as coincidence, I don't believe. (14:51) Everything is divinely timed. (14:52) I was flying straight from Florida to the Rocky Mountains to meet up with my family.(14:57) And we were going to go on four days of hiking in the Rocky Mountains. (15:01) Up 13,000 foot mountains. (15:04) Moving our bodies.(15:05) I love that. (15:06) And I love experiencing that with my kids, my now almost adult kids in their early 20s, late teens. (15:13) And my incredible husband.(15:17) And as I was hiking this weekend, that feeling of fulfillment was just continuing. (15:24) And remembering and realizing we get to do this thing called life. (15:31) Every rock, every tree, every little marmot.(15:37) I just was so grateful for that. (15:40) This is what we chose. (15:42) All of this, this human experience on this planet at this moment in time.(15:48) And it is all so perfect. (15:52) Even the uncomfortable hard parts. (15:55) Even the uncomfortable hard parts is exactly what we signed up for.(16:00) And it is perfect. (16:02) And I had this awakening on the airplane. (16:06) And just so much awe.(16:10) Literally awe. (16:12) Not only of this walk in life, but for myself. (16:19) Do you know how good that feels?(16:21) To feel awe for myself. (16:24) Without a sense of egotism or selfishness. (16:30) But just awe for this body.(16:33) Oh, I love my body. (16:35) Do you know how many years I hated my body? (16:38) How many diets I've been on decades.(16:42) Punishing myself. (16:44) To lose weight, to get fitter. (16:47) To be mad at my head for having migraines.(16:52) And now the awe I have of this vessel that carries me around. (16:57) It is spectacular. (16:59) It is incredible that this moment in time we get to walk in these meat suits.(17:09) And use this body as a way to climb mountains and see beautiful things. (17:15) As a way to fly in airplanes. (17:17) And look down and see the world from above.(17:22) As a way to hold our babies and our loved ones. (17:26) As a way to deliver the healing work that we do as dentists. (17:33) What a gift to be in these bodies.(17:36) What a gift to walk on this planet at this time. (17:40) And yeah, there's so much that we can look at and be angry about or scared about. (17:48) And you know on that plane, on that day, I realized how beautiful it all is.(17:54) How perfect it all is. (17:56) That we get to advocate for ourselves. (18:00) That we get to then advocate for those who are unable to advocate for themselves.(18:05) But it starts with taking care of yourself first. (18:11) That is the key. (18:13) And it's that shift.(18:15) Here I am crying on this podcast and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, how funny is this? (18:23) We hide this from one another. (18:24) Snot is pouring out of my nose.(18:25) We hide this from each other. (18:27) We hold this pretense of perfectionism. (18:31) We don't share what's real.(18:33) This real part. (18:37) It becomes very popular to share complaining or anger or fear. (18:44) But we don't share the beauty and the realization when we have it.(18:51) Of how short and precious this life is. (18:53) And that's why I knew I had to dedicate this episode to sharing. (18:59) The realization I had as that airplane was traveling very quickly to the ground.(19:05) The tears that were rolling down my face. (19:08) Not because I was scared of dying. (19:11) Afraid of dying.(19:12) Because I was so grateful for the life I have lived. (19:16) And to be able to sit here and say that is unbelievable to me. (19:22) Because I didn't always feel that way.(19:24) And I want you, if you're listening to this episode still. (19:27) If you've listened this far into this episode. (19:30) To know that that is possible for you.(19:32) And it starts when you realize it's time to take care of me. (19:39) Because the world does not benefit when you're self-sacrificing. (19:44) When you're hiding.(19:45) When you're pushing through and experiencing life as chaos in a place of fight or flight on a daily basis. (19:54) The good, the beautiful, the impactful, the legacy that your life gets to be. (20:04) Happens only when you start taking care of yourself.(20:09) The fulfillment that I was chasing for decades in dentistry. (20:15) It was never about dentistry. (20:17) It was about finding fulfillment in my life as a whole.(20:23) There's no person or profession or material thing, even coach. (20:31) That will ever give you that sense of fulfillment. (20:36) It is something that you gain for yourself.(20:41) It is a radical personal responsibility. (20:43) And I know that now more true than I ever have in my entire life. (20:50) And I would not be sitting here today if it wasn't for the work that I now teach.(20:56) I'm so grateful to teach. (20:58) In fact, that was one of the things that I realized as that plane was going down. (21:03) I was like, oh my gosh.(21:06) I have made a difference in this world. (21:09) I have made a difference beyond straightening teeth. (21:15) Because I know that the work that I've done on myself, this feeling that I have now, that I have been guiding and teaching, this is the most powerful work that there is.(21:29) Of giving women back their sovereignty, their autonomy. (21:35) Because when you feel good, you do good. (21:39) I know.(21:39) I say that every episode. (21:40) When you feel good, when you can take responsibility for your health, and I mean that in every sense of the word, your financial health, your physical health, your mental health, your emotional health. (21:54) When you have the tools of healing the traumas from decades ago and loving yourself through them, when you know the practices of navigating loss and stress and disappointment and fear, the world opens up to you.(22:19) And that is when we become leaders empowering and leading others. (22:25) It's when we become mothers of children who are seeing that modeled for them. (22:33) Not someone who just gives so much of herself that there's nothing left.(22:39) The world deserves you taking care of you. (22:44) I know that more deeply than I ever have. (22:47) And if you get nothing out of this episode, please take this away.(22:55) Your fulfillment, your love of this one short and precious life lives in you taking care of you. (23:05) And I am so honored to do this work and so honored to guide you in it. (23:11) Because when you feel good, that is when you do good.(23:17) Sending you so much love. (23:20) Bye-bye. (23:21) Thank you for listening to the Business of Happiness podcast.(23:27) If this episode brought you new perspective and value, I invite you to subscribe so that you catch all upcoming episodes and leave us a review. (23:36) And if you know of a friend or colleague who could benefit from this perspective, share this episode with them and empower their day. (23:44) For more information about the Business of Happiness and the Radical Happiness for Practitioners course, find me on www.thebizofhappiness.com.(23:55) See you there.
