Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Fan Mail Freak Out

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 8 • Episode 40

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From Suspicion to Opportunity: Unlocking Your Potential By Choosing Curiosity Over Fear (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Imagine receiving a piece of fan mail, and your first thought is, "Is this a scam?" That's exactly what happened to us, and it sparked a powerful conversation about how our default setting has become fear, not curiosity. In this eye-opening episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason & Jana Banana, we dive deep into the psychology of suspicion and how it's holding us back.

We explore how our "lizard brain" (the amygdala) is constantly scanning for threats, labeling anything unfamiliar as dangerous. But what if we could rewire that instinct? What if we could choose curiosity instead?

Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • The Lizard Brain Trap: Why We Default to Fear: Understand the neurological basis of our suspicion and how it limits our experiences.
  • From "Weird" to "Wonderful": Breaking Limiting Beliefs: Learn how labeling things as "weird" or "different" creates barriers and how to dismantle them.
  • The Curiosity Shift: Transforming Fear into Opportunity: Discover how a simple change in perspective can unlock new possibilities.
  • The 0.1% Mindset: Seeing Opportunity in Chaos: Learn how to adopt the mindset of those who thrive.
  • The Power of Noticing: Becoming Aware of Your Reactions: Understand the importance of observing your instinctive responses and making conscious choices.
  • The Anonymous Letter Experiment: When Good Intentions Go Wrong: Learn from our personal experience about the delicate balance between good intentions and perceived creepiness.
  • Stacking Evidence: How Your Past Shapes Your Present: Discover how to recognize the patterns of evidence you're collecting and how to change them.


  • How to recognize and overcome fear-based thinking.
  • The power of curiosity in unlocking opportunities.
  • How to shift your mindset to see potential in chaos.
  • The importance of self-awareness in changing your reactions.

Ready to ditch suspicion and embrace curiosity?

How to overcome fear-based thinking, How to shift from suspicion to curiosity, How to see opportunities in uncertain times, How to become more self-aware of your reactions, How to change negative thought patterns, How to build a mindset of opportunity, How do I overcome fear?, How to break limiting belief

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning, I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jana Shelfer:

We got a piece of fan mail today.

Jason Shelfer :

Fan mail. Fan mail this is new for me. I get the emails and I get the testimonials, but getting a piece of physical mail.

Jana Shelfer:

Of snail mail.

Jason Shelfer :

Snail mail from a fan. I'm on cloud nine.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, but here's the thing when we got it, your first inclination was not to go to cloud nine.

Jason Shelfer :

Right, well, it freaks me out. Your first inclination was your lizard brain. I got to run these plates.

Jana Shelfer:

Going. Is this a scam? Yeah, Is this a scam, and I just want to bring this up because I feel in life there's a lot of situations that we are in these days and our first thought is is this a?

Jason Shelfer :

scam? Is it a trap? Is it something that's going to hurt me in some way?

Jana Shelfer:

And that's so sad, but we all are living like that.

Jason Shelfer :

Oh, yeah. Well, I remember back in the 80s and 90s like getting a letter from my great grandmother, like the first thing I would know that there's a dollar in it for my birthday. And I got these letters for my birthday and it was a dollar, but we didn't have all the junk mail, all the spam mail, and then you didn't have people trying to get you to sign up for some subscription service to insure your toenails, right.

Jana Shelfer:

Right or insure someone else's toenails. I kid you not. I've been getting text messages of someone saying I mean they look just like the DMV saying I need to pay my tolls.

Jason Shelfer :

Pay these tolls in the next 12 hours or you're going to have your car repoed.

Jana Shelfer:

And they play on my guilt and on this feeling of don't you want to be? A citizen of the community.

Jason Shelfer :

And how dare you? Don't go into default.

Jana Shelfer:

Right, I mean, they really play on this.

Jason Shelfer :

Don't get the red check against you. Have I done something wrong In the book?

Jana Shelfer:

And then they have this link. And the thing is, the minute you click on this link, even to be curious of what is this all about? You're opening yourself up to all of these viruses and scams.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer:

So the reason I bring this up is because I noticed immediately and we both did it. We both did it in our own way. The fan letter asked for my autograph. It literally said I'm a huge fan of yours. I've been following your career for 30 years now.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer:

And I would like you to sign a ticket from 1996.

Jason Shelfer :

Yes.

Jana Shelfer:

Of when I came and watched your basketball team play.

Jason Shelfer :

In the Atlanta Olympics.

Jana Shelfer:

And my immediate reaction was this is a way to get my autograph immediate reaction was this is a way to get my autograph.

Jason Shelfer :

This is a way to get a proof of my signature to use it on checks that are being made in my name. Isn't it a shame?

Jana Shelfer:

That is so sad that I'm living this way. Well and this is-, but we have to protect ourselves. So there is a balance there, right?

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, there's a huge balance, and one of the things that I was talking to my group of coaches last week about was that we always have these moments of decision, like these micro moments of decision, and do we lean towards the extraordinary? We're either leaning towards this bigger picture of contribution and growth and all that, or we're leaning into safety and security and comfort. So this is one of those little things that it's very easy to see that, okay, well, I need to at least be aware of what could be happening.

Jana Shelfer:

Right, because I mean, there is this. You don't want to just sign something blindly.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, go around just throwing signatures on everything and living naively.

Jana Shelfer:

However, I just think it's really sad that we have to go to the extreme measures of protecting ourselves. It's almost like we're living in defense mode right where, I mean, this guy seems like he could just be an olympic paralympic fan and he's playing full out, yeah, and he's had the courage to hey I've reached out to people for their autographs.

Jason Shelfer :

This, I mean, this was probably 30 years ago, but it was like I would love to have so-and-so. I mean this was probably 30 years ago, but it was like I would love to have so-and-so's autograph, and it was probably because a friend of mine had their autograph.

Jana Shelfer:

Right.

Jason Shelfer :

And I was like I didn't get a chance to get an autograph. I got to shake a hand, but so it's a and it's it's beautiful to know that. One of the things I like about this is that you don't know who you're affecting, how and when.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, well, you're changing the subject because right now, we're talking about how we automatically went to the fear side of things. We automatically lived in fear, and the reason I bring this up is because in what areas of your life are you automatically living in fear?

Jason Shelfer :

Such a big question. Such a big question. And then are you grabbing the fear thoughts and growing those, or are you just noticing them, making sure that you have boundaries and parameters around what you're going to do or how you're going to respond? So it's either reacting to the fear or responding with it.

Jana Shelfer:

Now, this is out of the norm for someone. Here's the other thing. This is out of the norm for someone to write a letter to collect autographs of an event that happened 30 years ago. That is out of the norm. When things are out of the norm, how do we categorize those in our brain?

Jason Shelfer :

Right. We categorize those as weird, weird, different weird um that's a little strange.

Jana Shelfer:

It's, it's, it's. That's a little odd, it's off the track. We use words that are they're not positive. They're they, can they have a connotation that can be a little bit of an outlier.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, off-putting.

Jana Shelfer:

And we have this lizard brain. It is literally our amygdala, which is right behind the brainstem. It's where your brainstem and your spinal cord connect really, and it is at the base of your neck. It protects you. It literally is there to take in all the experiences that you've ever had, and what it does is it scans for ooh, warning.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, it's a protection Warning sign. Warning sign, yeah, it's the protection box around your thoughts. You've been here before, you've been here before.

Jana Shelfer:

Don't get hurt. Don't get hurt. It goes back to caveman days.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, if it's weird, if it's different, it's not good.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, we automatically go there If it's weird, different scary like, and then you start building that story that, my friends, is a limiting belief. Yes, if it's different, it's not good. That is a limiting belief.

Jason Shelfer :

The whole definition of insanity is doing the same thing, so not different every day and expecting some new result, and so different out of the norm.

Jana Shelfer:

Like swim against the current, like make your own current like decide where is this guy is doing? I think so. Like I do think this is and I almost want to call and interview him.

Jason Shelfer :

Right.

Jana Shelfer:

Because I almost want to see you know what kind of responses are you getting to this? Yeah, it's kind of like okay. So Jason came home one day and he there's a long story that leads up to this. Basically, I was going through a tough time and I was really having a hard time maybe affirming myself.

Jason Shelfer :

I think it was fine.

Jana Shelfer:

And.

Jana Shelfer:

I started getting Like getting your glow back.

Jana Shelfer:

I started getting these letters in the mail of. I know what your superpower is you make people smile. That's all that was said on the letters. However, it had this profound effect on me, didn't it? It did, and they weren't signed by anyone. You couldn't tell where they were from. There was just a very general stamp on the outside of the letter. It just seemed very kind of bizarre right Weird.

Jana Shelfer:

Anyway, it turned out it was my husband that was sending them to me, but he saw the psychological effect that it had on me because all of a sudden, when I saw that somebody was noticing that I was making them smile.

Jason Shelfer :

Like doing all kinds of good things, like making them smile.

Jana Shelfer:

It started making me show up differently. Yes, okay, so that's the story. After he saw how that affected me, he came up with this idea and he said let's start a business.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, uplifting post.

Jana Shelfer:

And you got this domain name and you started sending letters and you started a beta program. So you started out Like 10 people by yeah taking like Actually, so you started out like 10 people by yeah taking like actually I think it was like six people yeah, I think it was more like a handful and you started sending letters to them.

Jason Shelfer :

The responses not good, not good at all. What kind of freak, what kind of weirdo is sending me? They were like this is creepy.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer:

This is creepy, this is weird. And stop immediately before we report you to everyone around.

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, it was. I got an uncomfortable feeling when I opened the letter. Yeah, so part of that is so when you got your letter, I got to kind of influence the story and be surprised and like, oh my gosh, that's amazing.

Jana Shelfer:

I literally said I'm not sure what to think about this. Right and that's what I, that's how I ended it. I'm like I'm not sure what to think about this.

Jason Shelfer :

I had two scenarios in my mind. One was this may go into the shred bin or I could go all out and send, but I think that goes to say OK, who are the people that you're hanging around and are they? Are they pushing? Are they pushing you into any type of narrative or are they influencing you towards any type of narrative? Like those? Hey, I know what your superpower is it's to make people smile. There was a visceral change in you, and it was. I loved it. And then, when it came time to say hey, they're coming for me, I was nervous about unveiling the truth, but I think you had kind of figured it out.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, I know, I figured it out at the end Several letters in. Yeah.

Jason Shelfer :

And so having a letter from like, like, I kind of want to go all out and send him back a bunch of stuff.

Jana Shelfer:

He gave a self-addressed see. Now you've turned.

Jason Shelfer :

Well, you've made the turn. I have made the turn because I believe and I and I, I'd love to.

Jana Shelfer:

However, you're the first person oh whenever we get any kind of text email, jason's like like you, almost get angry, you're like don't answer that.

Jason Shelfer :

Don't answer it. That's a scam. There's sign or whatever the powder is on the letters. Don't open that.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, I'm like oh my gosh, Well, I came from like.

Jason Shelfer :

when I got out of college, I went straight into law enforcement for a couple of years and then I was in information security for a while. I know, so I have seen like when we talk about stacking evidence. What evidence are you stacking?

Jana Shelfer:

I know what evidence you're stacking.

Jason Shelfer :

That's one of my areas that I'm very guarded in, because I was like let's stay safe, let's not explore, let's not explore the realms here.

Jana Shelfer:

Although I just want to point this out, realms here, although I just want to point this out, like sometimes isn't it interesting how we can automatically assume we shut ourselves off is what we do to opportunities connections around us.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, I mean, let's just think about what's happening in the news in the past couple weeks. We are inundated with the let's just talk about the tariff news. You know, and there's fear, fear, fear. We're going to go into a recession. The you know there's. This is a financial nuclear war like they're using words that make people invoke fear. And when that happens, we all get into defensive mode.

Jason Shelfer :

Yes.

Jana Shelfer:

And then we're not open to the possibilities.

Jason Shelfer :

We shut them down 99.9% of the world goes into defense and this area of fear and chaos and uncertainty and the 0.1% says this is another version of an opportunity. And that's where I mean there's change being made in the stock market fluctuation and all that, the tariffs, because somebody's making a. There are people making a ton of money and there are people that are just freaking out, leaning into the fear and chaos of it all, and they're they're forfeiting a lot of their opportunity.

Jana Shelfer:

My point that I really want to make today is be aware of how you're reacting, Be aware of your emotions and and how you are and I don't even want to call it reacting. How do you naturally respond?

Jason Shelfer :

Yeah, and I love your question Because when we can tune into how. The noticing.

Jana Shelfer:

To the noticing. And again I mean there's not a right or a wrong, because we do want to protect ourselves. There's a balance. However, we don't want to be reactive, we want to be curious.

Jason Shelfer :

I love that you brought the attention to the noticing, and the curiosity, because how often would we ever ask ourselves the question without your prompting? This is what coaches do. They say where else in your life are you immediately jumping to the fear, jumping to the safety and security? Because if you're doing that in your dream, or jumping to the.

Jana Shelfer:

This is weird. They are weird. This is abnormal. Stay away.

Jason Shelfer :

So that's a shutting off of opportunities and possibilities and creating the curiosity around it. So I love that you brought it to that, to the question and to the noticing of, and that's going to lead people once they start exploring that, because when you explore the inside, you get to change the outside.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer :

And that's going to lend people more congruently towards Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Ultimately, you make your own decisions. Yeah, so we're just saying make sure you take in all the information before you jump Ask the question. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Jason Shelfer :

You just lit me up, so keep Living Lucky®. Thanks for joining us.

Jana Shelfer:

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.