No Place to Hide: How a Small Room Created Big Growth

Why Action Beats Perfection

What happens when a "disastrous" meeting becomes your biggest breakthrough? Jason and Jana Banana explore a near-empty Toastmasters session that forced radical authenticity. If you’ve been dimming your light or waiting for "perfect" conditions, this is your wake-up call to stop hiding and start leading.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn To:

• Beat the "Safety in Numbers" Trap: Why small groups are the ultimate pressure cooker for growth.
• Master Dual-Hosting: How conversation creates more impact than a polished solo act.
• Shorten the Excuse Loop: Learn to silence the "not ready" voice and say yes anyway.
• Leverage Messy Momentum: Why taking action builds confidence faster than overthinking.

Living Lucky® Wisdom Nuggets:

• Show Up to Play: 50% is arriving; 50% is playing full out regardless of the crowd. (Believe in yourself)
• Radiate Permission: When you stop hiding, you give others the green light to shine. (Believe in the people around you)
• The "Shit Show" Grace: The best results often come when the plan breaks. (Believe in your circumstances)
• Volunteer for the Gap: Growth happens in the roles you feel unqualified for. (Believe in a higher power)

Stop waiting for the "right" audience. Hit play to stop hiding and start Living Lucky®!

Why does action beat perfection in personal growth? A: Perfectionism masks fear. Imperfect action builds a track record of "wins" that overthinking can't replicate.
How do you stop "hiding" in social settings? A: Commit to "playing full out." Volunteer for roles and treat every small room like a full stadium.
What is the benefit of small groups for leadership? They eliminate hiding spots, forcing you to adapt to pressure and build deep, authentic rapport.

Personal development, Public speaking confidence, Leadership mindset, Overcoming perfectionism, Self-help podcast, Action beats perfection, Mindset coaching, How to build confidence in small groups, Stepping out of your comfort zone, Authentic communication tips, Jason and Jana Shelfer podcast, Dealing with meeting anxiety, Leadership in chaotic situations #Confidence #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #LivingLucky #Publ

Transcript

Welcome And A Lucky Mindset

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

The Small Toastmasters Surprise

Jason Shelfer 0:18

You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:19

It was the night before St. Patty's Day.

Jason Shelfer 0:21

And all through the house.

Jana Shelfer 0:22

We went to a Toastmasters meeting.

Jason Shelfer 0:24

And nobody else was there. Just kidding.

Jana Shelfer 0:29

You know, I feel like I've had a dream before where you show up to speak somewhere and nobody's in the audience.

Jason Shelfer 0:36

The audience is the audience shows up on a different day.

Jana Shelfer 0:39

However, I will say, because there was a lack of people there, it actually became more fun. And I'm not sure if that's because we were able to be more ourselves.

Jason Shelfer 0:52

I think one of the things is showing up, first of all, is half the battle. You know?

Jana Shelfer 0:57

I would agree with that. I agree with that in every aspect of your life. Showing up is more than half.

Jason Shelfer 1:03

Yeah. And the other thing is, is we've kind of trained ourselves to show up and play full out all the time. So when we do show up, we're going to show up and play like the audience is full anyway.

Jana Shelfer 1:15

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 1:15

And that's that's something that happened. So we showed up to this Toastmasters meeting that typically is going to have 20 to 22 people in it. And we showed up and there were eight people. And I know.

Jana Shelfer 1:25

In fact, I were nine people. There were nine people there. I was in charge of printing out the agendas. And I actually texted the president and said, How many do I print? And he said, Well, normally there's 25 people there. So I print out 25 agendas. And when I was ink cartridge is low. Right.

Jason Shelfer 1:46

And I'm the frugal one, so I'm thinking, okay, well, we don't have to print them in color.

Jana Shelfer 1:51

Well, I use both sides because I'm like, this is crazy.

Scrambling To Fill Every Role

Jason Shelfer 1:55

Well, and then I'm passing them out, and you're and you were going, make sure you get the the people up front that make sure everyone has one. And then nine people show up for the meeting, which doesn't even cover all the roles for a Toastmaster meeting.

Jana Shelfer 2:08

And then as Toastmasters, because Jana and I were filling in, we're we were holding that We were the Toastmaster, which means Jason and I were the host of the meeting last or Monday night.

Jason Shelfer 2:20

Dual host, which I think might be the first time. It was the first time for our club that they had a dual host, which was gonna be a novel idea and fun project.

Jana Shelfer 2:30

I'm glad you say that because when I brought it up to you, you gave me four excuses right off the top of your head of why that could not work.

Jason Shelfer 2:37

It was gonna it was new. I I had some intimidation, and just I was trying to figure out in my mind how this would work. And it was amazing, it was fun, it was and it I think it worked perfectly for what we were doing. Yes, and everyone loved it. Yes, all nine of them.

Jana Shelfer 2:56

Yes, because it it's kind of like hosting a podcast. Yeah, you're not just talking to yourself, you're not just talking to the audience.

Jason Shelfer 3:02

There's a there was a rapport, camaraderie there.

Jana Shelfer 3:06

Yes, it's conversation, yeah.

Jason Shelfer 3:08

It was incredible. The whole meeting was incredible, but we multiple people had to fill multiple roles, which made the energy kind of crazy and fun because everyone had to step into something new.

Jana Shelfer 3:20

Okay, so let me just explain for anyone that's never been to a Toastmaster's meeting. There's probably 15 different positions of the meeting that need to be filled in order to have a meeting. And the role as Toastmaster, we are to get there early to make sure that all those roles are filled. We got there at 6:30, and we still had the general evaluator, two evaluator, three evaluator roles.

Jason Shelfer 3:50

Because we had three speakers.

Jana Shelfer 3:52

The awe counter, the vote counter, the grammarian to fill that speaker. The timer. The timer, and the educational minute. So that's eight positions that we still needed to fill in order to have a meeting, and the clock is ticking down. There are no people in the room. And so Jason and I are going, what's plan C, D, F?

Jason Shelfer 4:18

Where let's go grab some people from the liquor store.

Jana Shelfer 4:21

And next thing you know, we just started taking on multiple roles, multiple roles.

Jason Shelfer 4:27

And the president, Jared, took on five five roles.

Jana Shelfer 4:30

He took on five. You took on three or four.

Grace Under Pressure And Grit

Jason Shelfer 4:34

I wanted to take on one of the evaluators, but you were like, no, you need to well, as the primary toastmaster, I thought you are in charge of keeping the meeting fluid and on track. And I was kind of like your co-host, Toastmaster, and I thought I can do the two evaluations of two of the speakers. Luckily, Berta, one of our coaches and friends from the past, came in and she was a guest, and she was one of the evaluators, did a great job.

Jana Shelfer 5:05

Now, a funny thing happened is that everyone got to shine in multiple facets because everyone was stepping into something new, everyone was trying different things, and we also gave ourselves, the whole group gave ourselves grace to show up imperfectly. And the reason perfectly imperfect, there was a different energy to the meeting, and I think it was because it was such a shit show. Am I right? It was it was so wonderful, it was so wonderful, and I also want to say there was a tenacity, a grit, a perseverance that we all distributed in making it work. We all said, okay, we're here, we are here to become better speakers, let's become better speakers, let's challenge ourselves.

How We Hide In Crowds

Jason Shelfer 6:05

And that is exactly what happened during the meeting. Like it was in it was incredible. And because we weren't we were more worried about the role, I think, and we weren't so worried about what am I gonna say, how's it gonna come across? We were just kind of worried about kind of feeling the taking care of the responsibility by getting it done, getting it done, and because we are we were more focused on getting it done, we weren't worried about what am I gonna look like doing.

Jana Shelfer 6:38

Action beats perfection every single time. That's the nugget, every single time, and I constantly have to remind myself of this. Action beats perfection.

Jason Shelfer 6:49

You know what's funny is everyone showed up and played full out. I don't know if it's because we showed up and played full out as as the Toastmasters, we kind of set the tone, I think. But everyone came up there and it kind of became almost a I don't want to say a joke.

Jana Shelfer 7:07

Well, you know what? When I and I don't mean to cut you off, but when I used to play tennis, I would always play to the level of your opponent, of my opponent, and it was such a weird thing because I would go to practice and I would play to the level of my instructor, and I would get in a tournament, and if I was playing a top seed player, all of a sudden I was batting these balls back, I was going back and forth. I'm like, I got this, diving for it, and then when I would play someone that I would think in my mind, oh, you know what? I got this, I can play clearly eyes closed, and clearly am a better tennis player than the person on the other side of the net, and for some odd reason, I would start playing to their level. It kind of tells you So it worked both ways.

Jason Shelfer 8:00

Kind of tells you that in life, where is our mind our worst enemy? Like, where's our mind holding us back because we think we don't have to play to the our the level of our ability?

Step Up Anyway And Closing

Jana Shelfer 8:13

Maybe, or maybe there's something subconsciously happening there, right? But what happened at our meeting was everyone started handling multiple roles, challenging themselves, and actually started to show up more authentically than the entire time we've been in this club. When we joined this club in January, I'm just gonna be real. It felt a little too formal.

Jason Shelfer 8:42

Well, the other thing is, is when there were 20 people 20, 22, 25 people in the room, there's plenty of room to hide.

Jana Shelfer 8:50

Plenty of room to hide, and also you really feel almost like you need to show up and be polished when you do speak. It's almost like, okay, if I'm gonna take space in this room, and there's been several times when there's 25 people in the room, and I think, oh my gosh, I've got like the perfect witty joke right now, but I hold it in.

Jason Shelfer 9:12

You hide.

Jana Shelfer 9:13

Yeah, I hide, I hide because I think, oh well, you know, and there's a lot of people here.

Jason Shelfer 9:19

And sometimes you're like, I also so there's different types of hiding. There's either hiding because you don't want you don't want to take the space from someone else, yeah, you want to let someone else shine.

Jana Shelfer 9:30

Yes, because oh yes, yes, Jason, you are onto something right now.

Jason Shelfer 9:35

My soul is going ding ding ding. There's so many different like shades of hiding.

Jana Shelfer 9:41

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 9:42

Because you and we do this all the time in life and everywhere else. Lat la the other night at our Toastmasters meeting, the day before St. Patrick's Day, it was there was no place to hide, and everyone had so many different roles they didn't have the time to think about any of that. It was just get out there, let it all hang out, go for it, be naked, let it go, and be me. Yeah, and have fun. And fun.

Jana Shelfer 10:09

And and I came away going, that was the best Toastmaster meeting that I have ever experienced because I did have fun. I had fun. It you even said this morning it felt like family. Family.

Jason Shelfer 10:22

Like the family that you want.

Jana Shelfer 10:24

Right.

Jason Shelfer 10:24

Like that's the thing. Like sometimes you you leave a family reunion and you get exhausted. Like, I we're two days out, and I'm still thinking about the fun I had at that Toastmasters, which I haven't had a Toastmasters meeting where I felt that kind of energy.

Jana Shelfer 10:42

I agree with you. So I guess let's put this in practical terms in real life. Sometimes we show up, and you said it earlier. If you would have shown up at your work and only eight people would have been there when the meeting calls for at least 15, what would have happened?

Jason Shelfer 11:00

They would have canceled the meeting and then there would have been hell to pay the next day.

Jana Shelfer 11:03

Right? Everyone would have been bitter and nobody showed up. Blah blah blah blah.

Jason Shelfer 11:09

There probably would have been some firings over it. Like firings, uh, some type of severe energy. Negative energy. Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 11:17

However, we all just stepped out of our comfort zone. We said, you know what? I got this. We're here as a as a team. We're gonna lift the canoe. I don't even know why I said that. You're looking at the lake.

Jason Shelfer 11:29

So we do our podcast overlooking the lake, and Janna's like, we're gonna lift the canoe and we're gonna take it out there and we're gonna row. Row, row your boat.

Jana Shelfer 11:40

Uh, but everyone chipped in and we made it work, which is just such a great. I don't know if the lesson is adapting or if it's resilience, perseverance, tenacity, grit.

Jason Shelfer 11:53

I think I think it's all that. And I also also think it is be truly authentically you because when you're so magmatic. When you pull the shades up and let people see who you really are, I think who we really are is fun, energetic, and in like pure light that needs to be shown in the world.

Jana Shelfer 12:15

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 12:16

And that is an energy, like that. Jave me goosebumps because the world needs our light, and we need to have that energy out there and stop dimming it, stop hiding in the shadows.

Jana Shelfer 12:28

That brings up one more thing that I want to end on. Because that morning, the role of Toastmaster was not even filled.

Jason Shelfer 12:36

I know.

Jana Shelfer 12:37

And I came in. We're gonna be Toastmasters, and I said, What do you think about signing up for Toastmaster tonight?

Jason Shelfer 12:44

Nope.

Jana Shelfer 12:45

Right?

Jason Shelfer 12:46

That was my first thought.

Jana Shelfer 12:47

And and we even had a conversation.

Jason Shelfer 12:48

No one forgot, Jason. Nope.

Jana Shelfer 12:49

We even had a conversation about it. Like, it's just so much easier to just kind of be a little to coast and to be a little lazy. If we sign up for Toastmaster, we're actually gonna have to come up with a fee and do more work and do some research today. I got other things to do.

Jason Shelfer 13:06

I got a life to build over here.

unknown 13:09

Right?

Jason Shelfer 13:10

I got a course to create. I got a relationship course to build.

Jana Shelfer 13:15

Oh my gosh. That would that's an eye-opener. I need to step up. Step up and make it happen.

Jason Shelfer 13:23

Make it happen, make it work.

Jana Shelfer 13:25

And as you said in the beginning of this, over 50% is just showing.

Jason Shelfer 13:30

Energy builds energy.

Jana Shelfer 13:32

Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 13:33

Keep Living Lucky®.

Speaker 1 13:34

Bye bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.