Upgrade Your Inner Operating System

Stop Living on Outdated Software: The Living Lucky® Guide to Upgrading Your Inner Identity

Are you still running your life on "8-track" emotional software while showing up as an "iPhone 16" on the outside? In this high-vibration episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jason and Jana Shelfer dive deep into why our bodies change every seven years, yet our old guilt, shame, and limiting beliefs often refuse to budge.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a doom loop of negativity, it’s time to "unsubscribe" from the versions of yourself that no longer serve you. We share the real-time lessons from our 20th wedding anniversary on how to let your partner (and yourself!) evolve without being held hostage by who you used to be.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn To:

• Master the GLEE Lens: Use our signature framework—Grow, Learn, Evolve, and Expand—to audit your current mindset.
• Identify Internal "Subscriptions": How to spot the outdated beliefs you’re still paying for with your emotional energy.
• Escape the "High Road" Trap: Why telling yourself to "take the high road" is often a red flag that you’re actually stuck on the "low road" of resentment.
• Give Others the "Right to Update": How to stop interacting with the "ghosts" of your partner or family and start seeing the person in front of you today.

Living Lucky® Wisdom Nuggets:

• Awareness is the First Step: Your body replaces its cells every 7–10 years. If your cells are new, your mindset should be too.
• Nostalgia vs. Growth: We often cling to old grudges because they feel familiar. Growth requires the courage to be "new."
• The Identity Upgrade: When people ask, "Who do you think you are?"—your answer should be "The version of me that finally believes in my circumstances and a higher power."

Don't let your past define your playground. Hit play to discover how to spin your doom loop into an upward success cycle!

Personal development, self-help, mindset coaching, limiting beliefs, positive thinking, Living Lucky, How to change your mindset in a relationship, overcoming old shame and guilt, the GLEE framework for growth, upgrading your identity after 20 years of marriage, how to unsubscribe from negative thoughts.

Transcript

Creating An Upward Success Cycle

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:14

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer 0:15

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:19

You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:20

We're talking about.

Jason Shelfer 0:22

Are you the same person that you were 20 years ago?

Jana Shelfer 0:27

Not only 20 years ago, but seven years ago.

Jason Shelfer 0:29

Five years ago.

Jana Shelfer 0:31

Our bodies change cells every seven years. I did learn that in science class, I think when I was in second grade. Never made quite sense to me.

Jason Shelfer 0:41

But are you like seven years old in second grade?

Jana Shelfer 0:43

I think so.

Jason Shelfer 0:44

Like you are not the same person you were when you were a baby.

Jana Shelfer 0:47

And it was like, duh. Okay. I get that, I guess.

Jason Shelfer 0:51

Yeah. Well, I think I learned it when they were talking about your taste buds.

Jana Shelfer 0:55

Okay.

Jason Shelfer 0:55

They're like, your taste buds are changed every seven to ten years.

Jana Shelfer 0:58

I know.

Jason Shelfer 0:59

So that's why they're like I don't like Brussels sprouts.

Jana Shelfer 1:02

Well, maybe you should try it again. Seven years of the year.

Jason Shelfer 1:05

Dumb crap parents tell you. I don't want to eat raisins in my lunch.

Old Shame And What We Water

Jana Shelfer 1:10

So I get it that our physical cells change. You know, our nails, our hair, uh, our skin cells definitely change, right? They shed. However, do we it feels like we still hold on to some of those lower vibrational feelings? Yeah. Like our guilt still stays our shame.

Speaker 2 1:33

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 1:34

Sometimes it's a big embarrassment, right? It does. It starts growing all in the wrong way.

Jason Shelfer 1:40

It's because we plant we water it.

Jana Shelfer 1:44

We do.

Jason Shelfer 1:45

Oh, that makes me laugh. There's um, yeah, there's a lot in there. It's uh, I think one of the things that stays the same that I think of is our soul's dreams and desires. Like there's there's something in there that may lie dormant or it may just it might just sit under this layer of the beliefs that we start subscribing to or the things that are happening around us, like that whole nurture versus nature thing.

Jana Shelfer 2:14

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 2:14

And then it's waiting for that perfect moment to come back and start sprouting. But in the meantime, we our whole identity is shifting throughout life.

Jana Shelfer 2:27

Okay.

Jason Shelfer 2:28

Like, I'm not I don't identify as the kid that cries on the playground anymore.

Jana Shelfer 2:33

How many times did that actually happen?

Jason Shelfer 2:35

It probably happened a good bit. I mean, I would I would say it happened to me probably three. I would say probably three. I think everybody if you missed out on the crying on the playground, it's uh you missed out on a part, a part of light that was special.

Jana Shelfer 2:50

I got hit in the face with a tether ball.

Jason Shelfer 2:52

I got hit in the face with a tether ball, a dodgeball. I one time I got hit in the face with a softball, and it wasn't like it just came at me, it was thrown at me.

Jana Shelfer 3:01

I broke my hymen on the monkey bars.

Jason Shelfer 3:04

Well, you gotta get it broken somewhere. And I if if parents had their choice, they would probably choose monkey bars. I'm guessing. That's why we don't have kids.

Jana Shelfer 3:17

Oh, it's pretty okay. So continue.

Jason Shelfer 3:21

Well, it's uh it's one of those things where if we're gonna be changing every seven to ten years, when it's time to change, you've got to rearrange.

Jana Shelfer 3:31

Thank you, Peter Brady.

Jason Shelfer 3:33

You're welcome. I'll empty my pockets in a moment. Was it Peter? Okay.

Jana Shelfer 3:37

Oh, that was Bobby.

Jason Shelfer 3:38

Bobby Brady had the full pockets. Um, if we're gonna be changing our very Bobby Brady.

Jana Shelfer 3:43

I am.

Jason Shelfer 3:44

I love to have pockets full of stuff.

Jana Shelfer 3:46

Such full pockets.

Jason Shelfer 3:47

You gotta have my chapstick, my keys, a couple business cards from people that are may or may not need to call today.

Jana Shelfer 3:52

You always have stuff in there, and I'm like, why are you carrying this around?

Jason Shelfer 3:56

Gotta have it, gotta have it.

Jana Shelfer 3:59

You never know. Uh let's get back on top. So, as we change, sometimes it's almost like we don't change enough inside to keep up with our outsides.

Jason Shelfer 4:11

Right. Oh, that's good. Is it? Yeah, it is, and it sometimes we don't we're not aware enough to say what beliefs or what subscriptions do I need to unsubscribe from? Like what's almost like we're what's not serving me anymore.

Jana Shelfer 4:26

It it's almost like on the outside we're these iPod 20s, and on the inside we are holding on to eight tracks. We're Apple II Plus Back from the beginning. Back in the beginning. Bounce dial up for anyone who is under 30 years old.

Jason Shelfer 4:54

How fun is that? Unsubscribe.

Marriage After Twenty Years

Jana Shelfer 4:58

Well, this is interesting, and the reason that we're talking about it is because we celebrated our 20-year anniversary, and so the question naturally came up are you am I married to the same person that I married 20 years ago?

Jason Shelfer 5:11

Yeah, and the other thing is we're constantly talking about you came up with the acronym Glee the other day. And I was like, hey Jana, what is Glee? And you like grow, learn, expand, or evolve and expand. Yes. And I was like, I love that. And that's something that we're always trying to do. And in that, we have to let go of some things that we once subscribe to that aren't useful anymore.

Jana Shelfer 5:36

I know. And I said it's kind of sad though, because I don't want to let go of things because there's a nostalgia there.

Jason Shelfer 5:46

And there's also sometimes it gives us comfort. Like sometimes I'm like, I want to hold this grudge. I want to hold this grudge because it gives me an excuse to like there's I will say that's one of my that used to be one of my things.

Jana Shelfer 6:00

Yeah.

GLEE And Unsubscribing From Beliefs

Jason Shelfer 6:01

And I I try not to hold grudges anymore because I'm like, you know what? What's it doing for me? But I have the awareness now to say, hey, I was holding that grudge and I would spend time thinking about it.

Jana Shelfer 6:13

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 6:14

And when I'm thinking about it, it's not maybe even not doing anything about it.

Jana Shelfer 6:21

Oh God, here we go again.

Jason Shelfer 6:22

Well, it would, so for me, it was play nice, Channel.

Jana Shelfer 6:25

Play nice.

Jason Shelfer 6:25

Right. Take take the high road. And every time I would hear myself say take the high road, yeah, I would be like, if I'm having to say take the high road, I'm on the freaking low road. If I have to say it, that means there's there's a problem inside me right now, and now I just feel like a turd again. And that so so then I was like at least you know it. Well, and now so so now I'm I just start thinking, okay, well, what can I just let go of to be the person that I know I'm becoming? And that's one of those things. Because the kid uh the kid on the playground would be like, wait till next recess, pal. Really?

Jana Shelfer 7:04

You were that kid, huh?

Jason Shelfer 7:05

Yeah, I would be planning it out.

Jana Shelfer 7:07

I was the kid that would say, I hope nobody remembers this. Let's just let's just go and play.

Jason Shelfer 7:14

I was on the monkey bars of my dress, and everybody was underneath.

Grudges And The Low Road Loop

Jana Shelfer 7:17

Have so much fun that everyone forgets that that even happens.

Jason Shelfer 7:20

Oh, that's so fun. What does you want people to have so much fun that they forget the my downfall? The embarrassment or whatever. Well, that's how I want to go through life. Yeah. Oh, it's awesome.

Let People Update Their Identity

Jana Shelfer 7:36

It's just it's interesting to me to talk about how we are constantly changing. However, we don't always upgrade upgrade our internal program. And you know, we're doing this relationship course right now. And one of the biggest problems I think we have with our relationships, whether it's with our partner or our coworkers or our family members, maybe our siblings, is we're operating from this who I used to know, who I used to know, and who I'm comfortable with and who I remember. Yes, and we are all evolving and expanding, we're all growing and learning.

Jason Shelfer 8:20

That's one of the biggest things I see with coaches is when they go back to their family, yeah, and they say and they start talking in their new language and their new level of being.

Jana Shelfer 8:32

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 8:33

Their family's like, Who do you think you are?

Jana Shelfer 8:35

Yeah, I know. Well, we face that a little bit ourselves.

Jason Shelfer 8:38

Of course we did.

Jana Shelfer 8:39

Uh-huh.

Jason Shelfer 8:40

Because they're like, I remember the person that you know went in debt $30,000. Right. I remember the person that got a speeding ticket, you know?

unknown 8:50

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 8:50

And they're like, Well, I'm not that person. Like, that was 20 years ago. You're remembering 20 years ago, or actually, I guess it was 30 years ago. Yeah. But whatever. So you're remembering the one of the oldest versions of me. And you're not remembering the person that's living in a resort now, you know? That's built the life of his dreams, that's been married to the woman of his dreams for 20 years.

Jana Shelfer 9:14

I love that you've spent the last life, your perspective.

Jason Shelfer 9:18

20 years studying personal development.

Jana Shelfer 9:21

Sometimes we all just need to jump in Jason's brain, right?

Jason Shelfer 9:24

I'm awesome.

Jana Shelfer 9:24

Except for when you're on the playground getting in a fight.

Jason Shelfer 9:27

Right, crying.

Jana Shelfer 9:30

So, what is your nugget of wisdom today? What is the tool or maybe the action stuff?

Jason Shelfer 9:37

So I think the first thing is is awareness. Awareness that we do change every seven to ten years. Appreciate the person that you have become. Yes. Appreciate the person that you're becoming and let go of some of the things that aren't serving you still so that you can actually gravitate towards the things that will be serving you more.

Jana Shelfer 9:58

And I would also say be kind and open to letting the people around you grow as well.

Jason Shelfer 10:08

So big. Right.

Jana Shelfer 10:10

And let everyone around us grow, learn, expand, evolve. Because when we do, it only uh gives us the space to do so ourselves.

Jason Shelfer 10:22

So big.

Closing And Where To Find Us

Jana Shelfer 10:24

So wonderful. I love it. Thanks for joining us today. Bye.

Speaker 2 10:29

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