Self-Trust After Failure: What the GPS Can Teach You About Mindset

Your inner voice demands an apology for your past. Your GPS doesn't. Who’s smarter?

Labeling a career pivot, failed relationship, or financial loss as "wasted time" traps you in a shame loop that kills momentum. When a GPS takes a wrong turn, it doesn't spiral into guilt—it simply says “Recalculating” and moves forward.

In this episode of Living Lucky®, Jason and Jana Banana reveal why your "wrong turns" are actually your highest ROI. Stop apologizing for where you’ve been and start leveraging the skills you built while you were "lost."

Inside this high-density session:

• The ROI of Detours: How Jason’s "wasted" years in law enforcement built elite communication skills.
• The Divorce Trap: Breaking the cycle of self-doubt after heartbreak.
• Feedback Over Failure: Why any action beats inaction (even if it leads you the long way home).
• The Spiritual Curriculum: Why life repeats lessons until you "recalculate" the message.
• Investment vs. Cost: Learning to weigh what a mistake created rather than what it cost.

Your past wasn't a mistake; it was training. Stop demanding an apology and hit "Recalculate."

KEY NUGGETS

• Shame is a Speed Bump: Guilt doesn’t fix a wrong turn; it just keeps you parked in the middle of it.
• Detours are Training: What looks like wasted time is often where you develop the "dark horse" skills you’ll need for your next level.
• Action is Data: Inaction gives you zero information. Action—even "wrong" action—gives you the feedback required to win.
• Recalculating vs. Wallowing: High achievers don't avoid mistakes; they resolve them faster than anyone else.
• The "I Don't Know" Illusion: You don't need the whole map to start; you just need to keep the GPS active and stay in motion.
  
  Overcoming regret, self-trust, mindset shift, personal growth, Living Lucky, resilience, career change, How to stop dwelling on past mistakes, building self-confidence after divorce, reframing failure as feedback, how to trust your decisions again, mindset coaching for entrepreneurs, moving past career regret, Jason Shelfer, Jana Banana Shelfer, Relationship Coach
  #Mindset #OvercomingRegret #SuccessSecrets #LivingLucky #Resilien

Transcript

Creating An Upward Success Cycle

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:14

Good morning!

Jana Shelfer 0:15

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

The GPS That Led Us Astray

Jason Shelfer 0:19

You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:20

Okay, so Jason and I have this observation about our GPS.

Jason Shelfer 0:25

I love I have to always use my GPS wherever we go.

Jana Shelfer 0:28

Even if it's just across the street to the grocery store.

Jason Shelfer 0:32

I need to know how long it's gonna take, what obstacles we're gonna run to, are we gonna hit traffic? I need all the information that my GPS provides.

Jana Shelfer 0:40

At any rate, our GPS totally messed up. It totally screwed up. It totally made a mistake.

Jason Shelfer 0:48

We took the long way home.

Jana Shelfer 0:50

Now, it could be that they were working on the roads or something changed. I don't know.

Jason Shelfer 0:55

Could have been an accident in the area. We didn't go that direction, so we don't know what happened. But it was the You can't disprove a negative.

Jana Shelfer 1:02

But I will tell you, it was it was the way GPS that led us in the wrong direction.

Jason Shelfer 1:11

It did feel like the long the wrong way.

Jana Shelfer 1:13

And then I noticed GPS says, recalculating, recalculating. And I'm I look over at Jason and said, I I really would like an apology right now.

Jason Shelfer 1:27

That that thing is wrong.

Jana Shelfer 1:30

I would like it to say, I'm sorry, Jenna and Jason. I have led you astray. I deeply apologize for wasting your time.

Jason Shelfer 1:39

Maybe I didn't know where you really wanted to go.

Jana Shelfer 1:42

I am going to now give you better directions and I will do better in the future.

Jason Shelfer 1:47

Right? You were trying to shame it, shame our GPS.

Why We Crave An Apology

Jana Shelfer 1:52

I brought out that shame. Yeah. And then Jason said, isn't that funny how GPS never admits that it's wrong?

Jason Shelfer 2:04

No, just recalculating.

Jana Shelfer 2:06

It just recalculates.

Jason Shelfer 2:07

We'll get you there.

Regret And The Inner Shame Loop

Jana Shelfer 2:09

Because there are no wrong turns. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Because sometimes my internal thought track, my internal voice, does have a little bit of shame, blame, guilt. Oh, you know, maybe I wasted my time. Maybe I took a wrong step. Maybe I became a little unfocused at that time in my life. Maybe I should have done it a little differently. It it really falls under the umbrella of regret. Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 2:45

How often in life do we think that we have wasted time in our past? You know, like I rem the four years out of college when I went and worked for law enforcement. I I didn't make much money at all. I know. In fact, I got further into debt, wasn't paying off any loans or anything. And I got out of that. And even like 10 years after that, I was going, wow, that was a wrong turn. It was something that I had wanted for a long time. That was my track to the FBI. And then I realized I don't want to be in law enforcement.

Jana Shelfer 3:19

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 3:19

That is not the career path for me. And I I just I looked at it often as a wrong turn.

Jana Shelfer 3:26

I know.

Jason Shelfer 3:27

Like a wasted time.

Jana Shelfer 3:29

You wouldn't say that outwardly, but internally.

Jason Shelfer 3:32

I felt it deeply. I felt like, God, just one more bad decision.

Jana Shelfer 3:37

I know.

Jason’s Career “Wrong Turn” Lesson

Jason Shelfer 3:38

And it it stopped me in a lot of ways. It also affected a lot of decisions that I made going forward. I was like, can I make a good decision? Or is this going to be another live decision?

Jana Shelfer 3:50

Decision.

Jason Shelfer 3:51

So then as we started going through a lot of this work, we started going through all this personal development, I realized all the things that that decision actually gave me, taught me, and built me into to be able to talk to people. Yeah. Like of all different like I was able to communicate with people in specific ways that most people on the planet can't. Yes. Because I was dealing with people who really had nothing to lose. Well, they and I needed them to comply with specific things without any violence, coercion, anything like that. So it's a it's very different skill set that you learn in that profession. Uh-huh. So was it a waste of time, or was it skills that I never would have encountered if I hadn't taken that route? Right.

Divorce And The Cost Of Wallowing

Jana Shelfer 4:44

Which is crazy. It hit me like a ton of bricks when you said GPS never apologize. They don't make wrong turns. GPS doesn't do anything wrong, it just recalculates, it pivots, it changes direction slightly. It may change the plan slightly, but it doesn't, it doesn't sit and wallow. Right. And oh my god, Jan, I'm so sorry. I took you in the wrong direction. I'm so sorry that the last 40 minutes of your time. Dealing with this trap.

Jason Shelfer 5:20

Which is what we do sometimes when we feel like we've quote unquote made a mistake. Yes. We will sit in that mistake for days, hours, sometimes years. So think about someone that's gone through a divorce. You know, I've no, I have I've known friends that have gone through a divorce. Yeah. And so they're like, relationships, bad decision. I'm not going to be in another relationship.

Jana Shelfer 5:44

Oh, yeah. I know people.

Jason Shelfer 5:46

And it's like there's no good. Like they start questioning all this, and they just sit in that for so much time that it's they can't get out of that.

Jana Shelfer 5:57

It's hard for them to love like they've never been hurt again.

Jason Shelfer 6:00

They don't trust themselves, they don't trust other people. You start doubting and manifesting everything about the mistake instead of everything about what you really wanted from it, like the destination you were going to to begin with.

Jana Shelfer 6:13

Isn't it so crazy how we can now look at these things and see it in that light?

Jason Shelfer 6:20

It goes back to how we talk about the spiritual curriculum that we're all going through. And it's we're gonna keep learning a lesson over and over and over again until we recalculate enough to understand what we're supposed to learn.

Business Missteps And Clearer Vision

Jana Shelfer 6:32

Recalculating. Recalculating. I mean, I have recalculated so many times, and and there is something inside me that has said, in fact, I've said it in my journals, I've said it privately to Jason. I may have even said it a few times off the cuff here in these podcasts, but I feel I have made so many mistakes when it comes to especially the financial side of our business. I was not a business person.

Jason Shelfer 7:06

Well, neither one of us are business majors.

Jana Shelfer 7:08

When I started this, and I also was starting something very big, right? And I could never put it in into words of what I'm doing, and there was speaking and filming, and I didn't really have a clear vision of where I was going. I just started, which there's lessons in that as well.

Jason Shelfer 7:34

Many lessons.

Jana Shelfer 7:35

But along the way, I have had to learn of what a lot of recalculating doesn't work for me and what I don't like. And as I keep going through these doors, I am slowly narrowing down what this vision is. It's getting clearer and clearer as we go.

Jason Shelfer 7:59

And we're kind of cutting our own path. So we really are. We're going through our own little wilderness.

Jana Shelfer 8:05

I know people say, find find someone who's already done it.

Jason Shelfer 8:08

We have and we do, and we have our mentors. And our mentors are kind of our are helping us put these little pinpoints in our GPS system. Yes. However, we are still the kind of the powerhouse behind the direction system in there.

Jana Shelfer 8:24

I know.

Jason Shelfer 8:25

And so we are constantly having to either say, I'm recalculating, or we're wallowing in a mistake. And I'll admit, I still waller in mistakes sometimes because sometimes they hurt so much financially. You're you go, can I afford to make another mistake like that?

Jana Shelfer 8:44

I know.

Jason Shelfer 8:45

And that's that's where it's like, okay, well, what you have to look at what was the actual return on investment instead of what did that investment cost. There's a lot, there's a lot in there. But it's a it's how do we just action beats inaction any time.

Jana Shelfer 9:05

Oh, every single time.

Jason Shelfer 9:06

And we've seen that over and over and over again in our business, in the skiing, in everything that we do in dancing. I was like, I I don't want to get out there on the dance floor again, but every time we get out there, we get better. We do. So it's action beats inaction every time because it's just feedback. And then you get to recalculate.

Jana Shelfer 9:28

Recalculate, recalculating, recalculating. And you although wouldn't it just be nice every now and then if you just got a whisper of, oh, I'm so sorry I've wasted your time.

Jason Shelfer 9:38

I'm so sorry I wasted your time. Here's a ticket to the fast lane.

Jana Shelfer 9:42

Here's a helicopter for you. Here's your speed pass. That way you don't have to deal with this traffic. Thank you, GPS.

Jason Shelfer 9:48

No speed limits here, just get going.

Jana Shelfer 9:52

What a great lesson. Thank you. Thank you. Recalibrate. Recalibrate. That's right.

Recalibrate And Keep Living Lucky

Jason Shelfer 9:58

Get on it.

Jana Shelfer 9:58

Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 9:59

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer 10:00

Bye bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.