The Adulting Trap: How to Stop Training Your Anxiety Muscle

Most adults don’t have a fun problem—they have a practice problem.

As children, we laugh 400 times a day. As adults, we trade that joy for the heavy lifting of fear, doubt, and worry. If you feel like your "spark" has gone missing, it isn't lost; it’s just atrophied.

In this high-energy episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jason and Jana Banana reveal why Fun is a muscle that requires intentional training to keep your life from stalling out in "robot mode." We break down the science of why fun is the ultimate fuel for tenacity and why your "Monday Dread" is actually a pattern you can break in 18 days.

Inside this value-dense conversation, you’ll discover:

• The Three Tiers of Fun: Why "Growth Fun" (learning something new) often feels like frustration before it becomes a lifetime memory.
• The Secret Sauce of Longevity: What centenarians know about the "twinkle in the eye" that keeps the body resilient.
• The "Monday Dread" Circuit Breaker: A simple awareness hack to shift from "I have to" to "What do I want to experience?"
• Opportunity Attraction: Why the "Ringmaster" energy wins every time in business and relationships while the "robot mode" gets ignored.
• The 18-Day Experiment: A practical, hilarious challenge to rebuild your laughter reps using a "Laugh Playlist."

If you’ve been living in "grit mode" and wondering why the energy has run dry, this episode is your permission slip to play. It’s time to flex the muscle that makes life worth living.

Hit play and let’s start your 18-day transformation.

🎯 KEY NUGGETS

• Fun is Fuel, Not a Reward: Stop waiting for the weekend to enjoy life; fun is the energy you need to get to the weekend.
• Growth Fun Feels Awkward: If a new hobby or challenge feels frustrating, you’re likely in "Level 2 Fun"—the kind that turns into your best stories later.
• Smiling is a Lead Indicator: Don't wait for a reason to smile. Smile first, and your brain will start scanning the environment for things to match that physical state.
• The Atrophy Effect: If you aren't training your Fun Muscle, you are inadvertently training your Worry Muscle.
• Zest Attracts Opportunity: People want to do business with and be around those who have a "Rin

Transcript

Welcome And The Fun Muscle

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning! I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:18

You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:19

We're talking about the fun muscle too. Hello.

Jason Shelfer 0:22

Let's go get the fun muscle.

Jana Shelfer 0:24

Who even thought of it as a muscle? And how did we know that we needed to do reps and that we needed to flex it and that we actually needed to use it, otherwise it would atrophy.

Jason Shelfer 0:36

So this came up the other day when we were at our dance lesson, and it felt like we were exercising our fun muscle.

Jana Shelfer 0:42

It did. In fact, there's been a couple times when I'm like, you know what? We haven't experienced this kind of fun in a while.

Jason Shelfer 0:50

Yeah, it's it's moving into that new level or a different kind of comfort zone where it's like, this is fun, but it's different. It's new. It's one of those things where it's going to take a minute to get fun.

Jana Shelfer 1:03

All right. Let's just stop right there. You are so right. There's different kinds of fun. There is the laughing, hilarious, um, like let's just go to a comedy zone or or let's go, let's go out with friends, and that's just fun.

Jason Shelfer 1:19

Like it is fun.

Jana Shelfer 1:20

That's fun for a couple hours, I think. And then it kind of gets lunch with the guys, lunch with the gals.

Jason Shelfer 1:27

That's gonna be fun. Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 1:29

Uh I also think sometimes doing exhilarating things, you know, maybe going to a theme park or I mean it depends on a roller coaster. Individual. Yeah. But for me, you know, sometimes there's an excitement and that's that adrenaline rush, jumping out of an airplane. I also think fun for me falls under learning something new. Yeah, because I think learning is fun, accomplishing a goal. To me, that is fun because that's what I have trained my brain for fun to be. But I don't know if everyone else is like that.

Jason Shelfer 2:06

Well, there's those second-level funds and third level funds. It's like that moment you hit the sign up for the Camino to Santiago, and it's like, oh my gosh, I just bought a plane ticket to Spain.

Jana Shelfer 2:18

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 2:19

And now I have to plan the trip, I have to train a little bit, and I'm leaving in two weeks to go walk a hundred miles.

Jana Shelfer 2:26

You don't really by myself. You sometimes don't realize it's fun until you're on the plane ride home.

Jason Shelfer 2:32

Right. With the massoos. Yeah, the moment I got on the plane to go, I was freaking out. I was like, what am I doing? I had that moment too. And sometimes we're we're working that fun muscle, and there's that fee, a little bit of fear involved, and a little like there's that that knowing that I'm stepping into an uncomfortable area.

Jana Shelfer 2:53

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 2:53

It's knowing that I'm moving into newness and what what happens next.

Jana Shelfer 3:00

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 3:00

However, there's a there's also knowing that right behind the veil of that newness, there will be a memory created that will last a lifetime.

Jana Shelfer 3:11

Okay. See, this is awareness that I don't think everyone has. So there's different kinds of fun. I mean, that's pretty, that's a simple concept, and that's pretty elementary, right? We all find back in the we all find different things fun. Yes. We all find different things sometimes dreadful.

unknown 3:30

Right.

Jana Shelfer 3:32

However, okay, so there's different kinds of fun. The next step, though, that I want to talk about is that if we don't use it, we lose it.

Jason Shelfer 3:45

Yeah, and how how hard are you willing to stretch and work that fun muscle?

Jana Shelfer 3:50

And here's the thing: there's something about fun. There is an element of it's almost the secret sauce.

Jason Shelfer 3:58

It's definitely the secret sauce.

Jana Shelfer 4:00

In everything that we do that will take you, it not only keeps you tenacious and you know, it keeps you persevering during the tough times, but it also adds this little element of I want to do that again.

Jason Shelfer 4:18

Well, it gives you, it's I think fun is one of the zest things that puts you in that space of life that's look at all the centenarians. Like they don't lose their sense of humor. Like it's the centenarians are the ones that are like they are gonna smile, they're gonna have that little that that twinkle in their eye. And it's not just a glazed over, like like eye watering, it's a a genuine gratitude, smiley, they've had some fun experiences and they are recalling that and they're telling stories about it.

Jana Shelfer 4:55

We have often talked about the science behind that, in that when you're younger, when you are a kid, a child, you laugh. And I don't know the numbers off the top of my head because I wasn't playing.

Jason Shelfer 5:07

You laugh like 400 times a day when you're a kid.

Jana Shelfer 5:09

You do. It is it is unbelievable how many times you actually break into giggle, laugh, snicker. Yes, you laugh. You laugh.

Jason Shelfer 5:19

And then as you grow up, yourself up when you're a kid.

Jana Shelfer 5:23

As you grow older, you start to lose that.

Jason Shelfer 5:28

And then you start exercising your fear, doubt, and unsure muscle.

Jana Shelfer 5:32

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 5:34

And everything turns into this worry and this anxiety and all these other things. So, what happens is those muscles start overpowering the fun muscle, and it's go that fun muscle is going, you don't need me anymore. What you need is your strength muscle, what you need is your tenacity muscle, what you need is your grip muscle. And forget fun because fun isn't getting you anywhere, fun isn't making you money. And the truth is, fun is what gives you the energy, fun is what gives you that feeling.

Speaker 1 6:07

It's a zest.

Jason Shelfer 6:08

Yes, a zest for life that brings opportunity to you because do people do people want to be the round around someone that just is a robot mode or or grit mode? Droopy Dolores, or or fear and anxiety mode. No, they want to be around that person that is like the the who's the guy that runs the circus? The ringmaster.

Jana Shelfer 6:32

Oh, Ringling Brothers.

Jason Shelfer 6:34

Yeah. They want to be around the guy that has that energy, that's having that fun, that's that has the the zest for life. Yes. So exercise the fun muscle.

Jana Shelfer 6:45

Okay, so how let's go there. How do we exercise the fun muscle? Because sometimes my soul goes, I don't feel like it. I don't feel like going out and laughing today. I don't feel in fact, sometimes sometimes I wake up and I literally do this, and I've been catching myself lately. I'm like, Jan, this is a pattern that will change immediately. I think that's the first step. But I woke up going, oh Monday.

Jason Shelfer 7:17

I want to get up today. This freaking Monday. Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 7:22

And I just had like this little dread like, oh my god.

Jason Shelfer 7:25

There's only 52 Mondays a year. That's the thing. There's only 52 Mondays a year. And if we do that 52 times, now it's next year again already.

Jana Shelfer 7:37

Oh my goodness gracious. Oh my goodness gracious.

Jason Shelfer 7:42

Oh my goodness gracious. Oh so this so this is the thing. So awareness is the first part of it, right? And if we just have that moment and say, hey, I'm having this insight, I'm having this inspiration to make a change. Yes. Let's lean into that. So what is it that I do want to experience?

Jana Shelfer 8:05

So a lot of times we're saying, Oh, I don't want to experience what happened to me when I woke up this morning. I literally was like, I don't want to make the donuts today. I didn't even want to like make the bed.

Jason Shelfer 8:17

I don't want to get out of bed.

Jana Shelfer 8:19

It wasn't, and I didn't want to fold the blankets.

Jason Shelfer 8:22

Yeah, and if you start thinking, I have to do this.

Jana Shelfer 8:25

We have to fold the blanket. We start I gotta put the cords away.

Jason Shelfer 8:28

Sometimes we'll what we'll do is we'll fool ourselves into saying, we we think what I don't want to have to do real quick, like our brain just quickly thinks, I don't want to have to do something, and then so we'll fool ourselves into not seeing what we do want. What I do want is excitement. What I do want is energy. What I do want is a zest for life.

Jana Shelfer 8:52

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 8:53

Because all our soul wants is to grow, learn, expand, and evolve.

Jana Shelfer 8:57

And evolve.

Jason Shelfer 8:58

That's it. Because we all say, I just wish I had more energy. You know, I just wish I had more fun in my life. I just wish I had that zest for life.

Jana Shelfer 9:08

If you had a little fun, then the energy starts within. It the it creates momentum.

Jason Shelfer 9:15

Momentum. Give me some momentum.

Jana Shelfer 9:19

I need some momentum. That's gonna be our saying.

Jason Shelfer 9:22

Momentum. Two words.

Jana Shelfer 9:24

Give me mo. Give me mo. Give me momentum.

Awareness Creates Momentum And Smiles

Jason Shelfer 9:27

That's right. And that's that's it. So the awareness of it and recognizing, okay, what do I want to experience here?

Jana Shelfer 9:34

Does it always start with awareness? It always starts with awareness.

Jason Shelfer 9:38

Sometimes we don't, we're so busy being busy.

Jana Shelfer 9:41

Where your attention goes, your life flows. And if you start paying attention to, hey, I may need a little more fun in my life, maybe I need to smile. And then you say to yourself, because I this is my inner dialogue, I don't feel like smiling.

Jason Shelfer 9:55

Yeah, I'm not subscribing to anybody's good mood today.

Jana Shelfer 9:58

There's nothing to smile about. Well, let me just tell you if you smile first, the thing to smile about will automatically come to you.

Jason Shelfer 10:10

Yeah, because you might even just smile at the fact that you're smiling about nothing.

Jana Shelfer 10:15

I can't stop smiling right now. This is so silly and stupid and yet so profound at the same time. It's the older I get, the more I'm like, I was brilliant when I was born. The problem is I was brilliant when I was born. That's a problem. And then I went through life and people started trying to make it hard for you. And here's the thing. But no, no, no. That's a limiting belief because people didn't make it hard.

Jason Shelfer 10:39

Well, you subscribe to their ideas.

Jana Shelfer 10:40

I started to try to please everyone and I started to become molded.

Jason Shelfer 10:45

Well, we subscribe to their ideas.

Jana Shelfer 10:48

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 10:49

Because we hear someone say, Oh, you can't, or not right now. And then we say, Okay, I believe you. Oh my goodness gracious. Oh my goodness gracious. Why do I feel like Sandra Bullock every time I uh I do that?

Jana Shelfer 11:11

He's referring to a movie where she gets engaged to Ryan Reynolds.

Jason Shelfer 11:16

Ryan Secret Reynolds, whatever.

The 18-Day Laughing Experiment

Jana Shelfer 11:18

Next thing you know, she's doing this tribal dance with Ryan's grandmother around the fire. So good. It makes us laugh every time. There's a couple, you know what? We should make a compilation. We should make a compilation of all the scenes that make us bust out laughing. Because I know there's some from Step Brothers for you.

Jason Shelfer 11:35

Oh yes.

Jana Shelfer 11:36

You know, I'm gonna do that.

Jason Shelfer 11:38

They all involve singing and um Okay.

Jana Shelfer 11:42

So I'm gonna make a little playlist of things that make us laugh, and then we are gonna do an experiment, and we're gonna try it for give me the number of days.

Jason Shelfer 11:54

1,000 days.

Jana Shelfer 11:55

Oh gosh, that's a that's a long experiment.

Jason Shelfer 11:58

How about we try it for 18 days?

Jana Shelfer 12:00

18 days. We're just gonna watch the little clip.

Jason Shelfer 12:05

I think we should try it for 18 days, and then we should try to act it out. And put it on.

Jana Shelfer 12:13

And that will be exercising our fun muscles.

Jason Shelfer 12:16

Yes.

Jana Shelfer 12:16

Oh, thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 12:18

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer 12:19

Bye bye.

Speaker 1 12:20

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