Jana, What Is Trepidation?

Your brain will happily send you on a fearless, epic adventure while you are wrapped in a heating blanket—but ask it to step out the front door and it instantly demands exit strategies, guarantees, and control.

We are living inside a toxic modern behavioral pattern: we treat our comfort zones like an iron clad fortress, preferring the digital insulation of a screen over the high-stakes friction of a real-world invitation. The moment an exceptional opportunity lands in our lap, our nervous system misinterprets uncertainty as immediate, physical danger.

In this transparent episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jana and Jason break down a high-stress moment from their week. Invited by the Tampa Bay Rays to an exclusive MLB event honoring Florida’s Olympians and 3-time Paralympians, the two-hour commute quickly turned into an absolute pressure cooker of 102-degree heat, aggressive highway traffic, and escalating anxiety. By the time they parked, Jana was caught in a severe trepidation loop, paralyzed by the sub-surface questions that haunt high-performers: Will the terrain on the field be wheelchair accessible? Will I be the only Paralympian? What if I am not enough to fit into this room?

What you’ll discover when you hit play:

• The Heating Blanket Illusion: Why your mind happily handles massive risks in your dreamscape while completely freezing up over basic real-world logistical unknowns.
• The Gap Mechanics of Comparison: How entering an environment where you assume everyone else belongs automatically inflates your hidden insecurities.
• The Seconds-to-Flip Framework: A tactical mindset coaching execution to catch, isolate, and reframe a panic spiral in the front seat of your car before it ruins your day.
• The Couch Tax Metric: The massive relational and emotional assets you forfeit when you choose to watch the game of life from your living room air conditioner.
• Expanding the Thermostat: How to systematically transform an intimidating, out-of-control environment into a familiar "learning zone."

Stop allowing your lizard brain to turn a major league invitation into an administrative threat. You cannot build true confidence or live lucky if you refuse to tolerate the discomfort of expanding your borders.

Listen now, subscribe, and download the operational blueprint to pack up your safe space and take it with you.

NUGGETS

• Anxiety is the exact tax required for personal expansion. Experiencing trepidation before entering an elite room isn't a sign that you are broken; it is proof that you are actively approaching an edge that matters.
• You cannot read your true coordinates through the lens of comparison. Assuming other people are completely secure inside an environment forces you to manufacture a "less than" narrative that doesn't match the cold data.
• The animal kingdom destroys the entity that stands out—but humans monetize distinction. Shifting your perspective from "I don't fit in" to "I am uniquely configured" transforms isolation into a massive performance asset.
• You will never cheer the same way from your couch. Optimizing for the convenience of home isolation eliminates the random synchronicities, photos on home plate, and real-world connection that fund a great life.
• Make the uncomfortable terrain your new baseline. True identity shifts require treating every high-friction environment as a learning zone, forcing your mental safe space to expand to meet the world.
• overcoming social and crowd anxiety
• disability accessibility mindset coaching
• how to expand comfort zone
• processing performance and comparison fear
• how to stop catastrophizing events
• personal growth for paralympic athletes
• why do i feel anxious before exciting opportunities
• handling decision stress and traffic anxiety triggers
• the difference between survival comfort and learning zones
• how to feel like you belong in elite rooms
• why highly successful people experience pre event panic
• overcoming the fear of not being enough at work
• moving from isolation to real world social confidence

Questions

Why do real-world opportunities trigger anxiety when our dreams feel safe? Real-world opportunities trigger anxiety because they introduce unregulated variables, physical discomfort, and a loss of immediate control, activating the lizard brain's survival mechanisms. In contrast, dreams occur within a completely insulated, non-threatening cognitive environment where the physical body faces zero vulnerability, allowing the mind to explore risks without engaging systemic fear.

How does comparison amplify the fear of not being enough in new social settings? Comparison amplifies insecurity by distorting an individual's perception of a room's social dynamics. When an individual enters a foreign setting, their brain filters the environment to assume that everyone else possesses flawless comfort and absolute belonging, which immediately widens the perceived gap between their self-worth and the group's baseline.

What is a "learning zone" in mindset coaching and how does it reduce stress? A learning zone is a psychological threshold positioned directly outside an individual's current comfort boundaries. By consciously labeling an intimidating or uncertain environment as a space dedicated strictly to learning and adjustment rather than flawless performance, an individual lowers their expectations of perfection, reducing nervous system stress and building rapid self-trust.

• The Heating Blanket Deception: Why your brain prefers simulated adventures Jana reveals a magnificent dream landscape executed entirely within the safety of her bed. Discover why your subconscious loves to play hero while your body stays frozen.
• The 102-Degree Commute: Stacking environmental stressors on the road to Tampa A brutal two-hour drive involving equipment transfers, dynamic traffic, and extreme Florida heat. Learn how basic physical friction systematically compromises your emotional regulation.
• The Trepidation Audit: The front-seat meltdown before the Major League event Parked at the stadium, fuming with nerves and paralyzed by unknowns. Jana opens up about her raw anxiety regarding MLB stadium accessibility, grass field terrain, and crowd density.
• The "Less Than" Blueprint: How your brain uses elite athletes to execute a self-sabotage Entering a high-profile arena packed with state Olympians and professional baseball personnel. Learn how the comparison engine automatically triggers an inner script of "I don't belong here."
• The Seconds-to-Flip Framework: Weaponizing rapid reframing in the front seat You do not have days to process a panic spiral when your show is about to start. Access the exact operational methodology required to stabilize your nervous system inside of a few minutes.
• The Animal Kingdom Fallacy: Why your prehistoric brain treats distinction like a death sentence In the wild, the creature that stands out gets hunted down and eaten. Discover why your automated biology treats an unique identity as a threat, and how to consciously convert that trait into currency.
• The Couch Tax: Calculating the exact financial and emotional price of staying home It is hyper-convenient to cancel your plans and stream the baseball game from your air-conditioned living room. Turn here to find out why this default choice is a slow-motion liquidation of your potential.
• Standing on Home Plate: The massive human capital earned by simply showing up Witnessing an 89-year-old 1956 Olympic gymnast hurl the ceremonial first pitch while the stadium erupts. Learn why you cannot manufacture world-class memories or elite network assets from a screen.
• Mapping the Learning Zone: Expanding your internal thermostat to dominate the wild You have survived every single day of your past timeline. Access the definitive coaching directives to stop chasing absolute control, embrace the chaos of the environment, and live lucky on purpose.

Transcript

Dreams, Safety, And Adventure

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana and we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:19

You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:20

I woke up and told Jason about my dream last night.

Jason Shelfer 0:23

Now, don't worry, I'm gonna-wow.

Jana Shelfer 0:26

No, it wasn't like that. And I promise you, I'm gonna spare you. Nobody wants to hear other people's dreams. Except us. Anyway, I said it was so great because I went on this adventure while I was still sleeping, recharging my body, and it was in the safety and comfort of my heating blanket, my bed. Does it get any better than that?

The Long Drive To The Ballpark

Jason Shelfer 0:52

Yeah, it was in it was in sharp contrast to our our our day yesterday. That was long.

Jana Shelfer 0:59

Uh we went, we had an experience yesterday.

Jason Shelfer 1:03

Which was great.

Jana Shelfer 1:04

It was so fun, don't get me wrong, but we drove two hours.

Jason Shelfer 1:07

Well, I drove all day because I I had I drove equipment. I started in the morning getting haircut, then drove equipment down to Orlando, then we drove to Atlando Lakes, then we drove to Tampa.

Jana Shelfer 1:18

We went to the Tampa Bay Rays baseball game. Which was so much fun. It was Olympic and Paralympic Day yesterday. And so the Tampa Bay Rays celebrated all of the Olympians and Paralympians in the state of Florida, which was so fun, don't get me wrong.

Jason Shelfer 1:36

However, the Royal Treatment.

Jana Shelfer 1:38

Oh, Royal Treatment. They were playing the Royals.

Jason Shelfer 1:46

It was from the Rays.

Jana Shelfer 1:49

But speaking of which, did you know that they had like a Stingray aquarium?

Jason Shelfer 1:54

I didn't on the I that was my favorite part.

Jana Shelfer 1:58

That was absolutely my favorite part.

Uncertainty, Accessibility, And What-Ifs

Jana Shelfer 2:00

Anyway, my whole point is that when we got there, I lit we parked and I literally said, I need to just take a moment because I'm feeling anxious. And I think I used the word trepidation.

Jason Shelfer 2:16

Trepidation, you did. You use the word trepidation, which I can see how we get to that with the traffic, the heat, like all the things. So we kind of built this anxiety level through the the journey.

Speaker 1 2:30

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 2:31

And oftentimes we do that as coaches in life that happens.

Jana Shelfer 2:36

And here's what was going through my head. There were so many unknowns and uncertainty that was surrounding me. I didn't know if I'd be the only Paralympian. I didn't know if the tour was going to be accessible. I didn't know if them taking us down to the field, if I would even be able-I mean, I haven't been on a baseball field in I don't I don't know how long. Right. I'm like, oh my gosh, what's the terrain like on the baseball field?

Jason Shelfer 3:04

Yeah, why would it be ADA accessible?

Jana Shelfer 3:07

Well, I just was thinking grass. I'm like, oh, I don't really like pushing through grass. Am I gonna be able to handle that?

Jason Shelfer 3:13

I mean there's not a lot of MLB major league baseball people in the world. I mean, that that's that's not how it's quote unquote designed.

Jana Shelfer 3:23

Anyway, so there were just so many things going through my head. And I literally, when we parked, I said, I just need to sit here for about five minutes and calm my nerves. And the reason that we're talking about this is because then I woke up this morning after my night's sleep, and I had this incredible dream where I went on this adventure. And anyway, I was telling Jason, it's so great to go on these adventures in your mind and yet still be in the safety and comfort of your own bed.

Jason Shelfer 3:58

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 3:59

And like you said, it was in I mean, we had such a great time yesterday, but there were just all these, you know, it's getting outside our comfort zone. We were meeting other Olympians, which there was an intimidation factor in some way.

Jason Shelfer 4:16

I was like, oh gosh, you know, they're and Yeah, all the what-ifs a lot of times we tell ourselves these what-ifs on the on the negative, like what if I'm not enough scale.

Jana Shelfer 4:29

And and everyone does this.

Jason Shelfer 4:31

We all do it.

Jana Shelfer 4:32

And I I think sometimes we don't recognize and yet I still go through this, and I actually feel that's a sign of growth. And the it's a sign of continuously getting outside your comfort zone.

Jason Shelfer 4:44

That's exactly what it is. And and what happens is is we get quicker at recognizing it. So we can either start recognizing it in a day, a week, uh a month, or we can recognize it in the in the minutes and hours. And so now we recognize it in the minutes and hours, or even in the seconds.

Speaker 1 5:04

Yes.

Reframing Anxiety Into Growth

Jason Shelfer 5:05

And we and we and we flip it and we reframe it. So we start looking at it and say, well, instead of looking at it as I had this dream and in the comfort and safety of my own home, what if we start looking at these adventures in the comfort and safety of our own world?

Jana Shelfer 5:21

Ooh. Ooh, see, that's a d that speaks to my subconscious mind. But that doesn't even sound logical to my my everyday mind.

Jason Shelfer 5:30

Because the news, because er everything we walk out the front door, and in Florida, we immediately get hit with this 102-degree heat.

Jana Shelfer 5:39

Heat, and then also I would say traffic.

Jason Shelfer 5:43

As we were driving down, I know that Oh, frustration levels, uh, people slamming on their brakes, shifting over four lanes of traffic just to get off on an exit that they almost missed. And I know that that's one of your crazy out of control. Out of control. Someone is jeopardizing our safety.

Jana Shelfer 6:02

And No, there's this feeling of not of letting go of control or this feeling of not being in control. So And that's that's for me, entering this new experience. I'm thinking, well, I can't control the accessibility. I can't control it. So I was imagining there to be all these able-bodied people there, and I wouldn't be able to hear the conversation. And there's all these little stairs, down the stairs. Yes, and these are all my own securities.

Jason Shelfer 6:36

I will just wait here, y'all go experience that. I'll miss this experience. Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 6:40

Why why is that though? That's human nature to do that.

Jason Shelfer 6:44

Yeah. And and we all have this in some way or form. And this is when we get outside of our comfort zone and we know someone else is in a comfort zone.

Jana Shelfer 6:55

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 6:55

That creates a larger gap between who who we think we are and who we think they are, which makes it even more noticeable.

unknown 7:05

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 7:06

And then it it creates this thought of I'm less than or I'm not enough.

Speaker 1 7:13

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 7:13

Because less than create it is a not enough. Oh my gosh. Not a so there's a thing called I'm just different.

Jana Shelfer 7:25

Yeah, but diff that still has a connotation that is I don't fit in with the group. And in the animal kingdom, the one that's different is the one that's gonna get eaten.

Jason Shelfer 7:35

Well, because I'm not in I'm I'm in your environment now, I'm not in my environment. Come to my environment and I'll eat you. You know, that so there's that. But hey, let's learn each other's environments. That's all.

Jana Shelfer 7:48

Oh, okay.

Jason Shelfer 7:50

But but if we just think of it as, hey, how do we all how do we all just thrive on this one big ball that we're floating on? Right? We're just fall all floating around on a big ball of dirt.

Jana Shelfer 8:02

I heard that saying where where were we in there? Like, we're all just on a big ball floating through space. And I'm like, oh my gosh, Earth is a big ball and we're all just kind of on it.

Jason Shelfer 8:12

Floating through space.

Jana Shelfer 8:13

Having this experience together.

Jason Shelfer 8:15

We're all one. Yeah. Like, why can't why why are we why why is there all this craziness?

Not Enough Thinking And Belonging

Jana Shelfer 8:23

Why so okay, so here's my thing, and this is what I'm really trying to talk about. Why is it it was so much easier for me to go to bed last night? And and like I said, I was wrapped up in my heating blanket, I had pillows all around me, my dog is right there, I know my husband is right there. I even had a little snack of cherries, like I'm totally in my comfort zone. Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 8:51

Because in your brain, you're telling yourself, I'm in my warm, safe space.

Jana Shelfer 8:55

Safe and secure. And then I had the most incredible dream, which felt like my brain was taking me on this adventure that was just extraordinary.

Jason Shelfer 9:08

And you were so refreshed, so energized.

Jana Shelfer 9:11

I woke up and I'm like, wow. And this was all while I was sleeping. Yes. And then yet yesterday we had such an amazing, amazing opportunity, an amazing experience that was planned for us. And going into it though, I had such nerves and the word was trepidation.

Jason Shelfer 9:32

Yeah. And I think it comes down to how do we how do we start telling ourselves, how do we start writing that story of I'm still in my warm safe space.

Jana Shelfer 9:42

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 9:43

And I will create that experience, whatever experience I want, because I've I'm expanding my warm, safe space. Trevor Burrus, Jr.

Jana Shelfer 9:50

You know, we all do this, and it is the one, it is the major reason of why when we get older we stop trying new things. In fact, there there was something

Why Showing Up Changes Everything

Jana Shelfer 10:03

in my head that was like, you know what, I could just watch this baseball game on TV in the comfort of my own environment.

Jason Shelfer 10:11

And the thing is, the the environment there, the the AC was great. I mean, it was a little bit more we were.

Jana Shelfer 10:17

And here's here's the fact of the matter: if I would have watched it at home in the comfort of my air conditioner, I would not have met all of the incredible people that I met. I would not have actually had the chance to get on field with the players like Jack Caglione. Caglione.

Jason Shelfer 10:38

Caglione, but Caglione.

Jana Shelfer 10:40

I know because he's from Italy. Right. And I would not have had the experience of getting that photo that I was just so excited about us on home play, going, yeah, look at us. Right.

Jason Shelfer 10:53

And watching Jackie, our 89-year-old gymnastic Olympic.

Jana Shelfer 10:58

She was a 1956 gymnast, and she was the one that the group chose to throw out the first pitch, which was incredible.

Jason Shelfer 11:07

Yeah. So just being there, like you don't cheer the same from your couch or from your living room as you do. I definitely standing there next to someone throwing out the pitch.

Jana Shelfer 11:18

Yeah, I definitely don't don't cheer for the you know first pitcher.

Jason Shelfer 11:23

Right. And then watching that first inning where I mean they were just slapping home runs out. I know already first inning.

Jana Shelfer 11:30

I'm like, wow, the action has started.

Jason Shelfer 11:32

That's right.

Jana Shelfer 11:32

You know, sometimes you watch a soccer match and you're like 50 minutes into it. Has anyone scored yet?

Jason Shelfer 11:37

Yeah. Well that this that Mike Mike Tyson quote that you always have a plan until someone slaps you in the face. Yeah, that happens. The Rays were getting slapped in the face right out of the gate. We love you guys, but the Royals brought it last week.

Jana Shelfer 11:51

We were still cheered for 12 to 5. Ah. Anyway, so yes, let's reframe the safety of our world. We can handle it. We can handle it. We've gotten this far in life. We have the confidence to handle going out and trying new things.

Jason Shelfer 12:08

Yeah, just make your make that uncomfortable area your new comfort zone and know that it's it's just call it your learning zone. So get comfortable with learning. Yes. And make that a a new just expand your comfort zone a little bit so that this is now your learning zone, and then you'll just find that just keeps growing.

Speaker 1 12:32

I love it.

Jana Shelfer 12:33

Thank you for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 12:35

Keep Living Lucky® bye-bye.

Speaker 1 12:37

If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.