Do You Have a FUN Deficiency?

Ambitious high-achievers suffer from a dangerous behavioral distortion: they believe joy is a luxury you are only allowed to unlock after the real work is finalized.

Most overachievers live inside a stuffy, hyper-rigid trap. They optimize their schedules for raw results, track metrics for financial gains, and follow relationship bylaws to the letter—entirely blind to the reality that they have completely squeezed the life out of their daily operations. When your lifestyle defaults to pure, unadulterated grind, your nervous system runs hot on self-judgment. The second you experience a financial loss or an operational hurdle, it instantly converts into systemic shame, paralyzing your creative velocity and locking you into a toxic downward loop.

In this high-vibrational, laugh-out-loud episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jana and Jason dissect a massive epiphany triggered by a Toastmasters leadership conference mission statement that explicitly ends with four non-negotiable words: “and have fun doing it.” Fresh off prepping a ridiculous, unscripted parody song to break the stuffy room decorum of their local club, they break down the exact performance physics of why structure and play are not enemies. They track the classic marshmallow-and-spaghetti creativity experiment to prove why smart adults freeze under pressure while kindergartners comfortably scale massive results.

Inside:

• The Kindergarten Performance Arbitrage: Analyzing why top corporate executives and engineering teams routinely fail building challenges while children win by playing, testing, and eating the assets.
• The Decorum Prison Frame: How to maintain rigid operational structures, strict timelines, and professional bylaws while keeping the human energy in the room entirely alive.
• The Play-Money Mindset Reset: A raw diagnostic of Jason's internal stock market anxiety, mapping the psychological boundary required to convert financial losses into high-value education.
• The Marital Fantasy Drain: A transparent look at why imagination and curiosity are the very first resources thrown out of the window the second adulthood responsibilities creep into a household.
• The Biscuit Risk Principle: Learning how to boldly disrupt stuffy corporate environments with radical authenticity, even if your network threatens to start throwing biscuits at you.

Stop treating your seriousness like a badge of honor. If you are ready to drop the self-imposed judgment, activate the ultimate playground multiplier, and deploy the compounding energetic laws that actually manifest sustainable wealth and connection, hit play now.

Listen now, subscribe, and inject a small play experiment into your life before noon.

NUGGETS

• Play lowers the structural cost of being wrong. The moment you view an administrative task or an investment as a safe playground experiment, your brain stops overthinking and starts innovating.
• Joy is an immediate performance multiplier, not a final reward. If you postpone your happiness until you secure the objective, you liquidate the exact emotional capital required to finish the journey.
• Engagement is always emotional before it is logical. Elite leadership demands creating environments where people feel safe enough to speak up, take risks, and act silly without fear of tracking judgment.
• You cannot read the data when you are drowning in shame. Re-framing a sudden loss as "education money" pulls your psychology out of defensive survival mode and returns you to responsive execution.
• Energy tracking requires active environmental contamination. You cannot wait around for a stuffy room to fix its own environment; you must manually bring the exact vibration you want to catch.

Questions:

Why do kindergarten students consistently outperform CEOs in the marshmallow challenge? Kindergarten students outperform corporate executives and engineers because they utilize a rapid prototyping methodology rooted in pure play. While adults waste vital timeline parameters analyzing power dynamics, overthinking designs, and fearing mistakes, children immediately interact with the materials, test variables in real-time, and iterate solutions dynamically without engaging self-critical filters.

How does introducing a sense of play reduce cognitive blocks to adult learning? Introducing a sense of play reduces cognitive blocks by down-regulating the amygdala and lowering the perceived cost of execution failure. When an environment is consciously labeled as a safe playground rather than a high-stakes performance audit, the brain suppresses self-judgment, allowing the executive centers to access advanced creative lateral thinking and accelerated data retention.

What is the "Living Lucky®" framework for compounding positive energy in business and marriage? The Living Lucky® framework is an active behavioral discipline based on the law of energetic aggregation. Instead of treating environmental conditions as a fixed variable, an individual deliberately chooses to express high-vibrational optimism, playful authenticity, and intentional gratitude, which systematically shifts the Reticular Activating System (RAS) to discover and capitalize on hidden opportunities, creating a compounding success loop.

• The F-U Parameter: The immediate boundary push over the definition of Fun Jason drops a provocative linguistic breakdown regarding the core mechanics of joy. Discover why high-performers treat lighthearted concepts like a threat to their seriousness.
• The Karaoke Surprise: Invading a stuffy room with an organic parody arrangement Jana reveals the raw, vocal melody she designed to disrupt meeting protocol tonight. Discover the strategic rationale for using music to shatter toxic social stiffness.
• The Spaghetti Metaphor: Why top-tier engineers completely fail the basic skyscraper experiment Martha Beck drops data revealing a severe cognitive block inside highly educated minds. Discover why college graduates lose their voice out of fear of making a visible mistake.
• Play Money Realities: reprograming your internal stock market anxiety metrics Jason admits to an ongoing mental loop regarding portfolio adjustments and self-criticism. Learn how to transform investment losses into high-value tuition to keep your momentum active.
• The Fantasy Liquidation: Why marriage drops the fun quota the second you live together Exposing the transition point where creative curiosity transforms into standard adult logistics. Discover how to actively sprinkle play back into a relationship before the energy undergoes bankruptcy.
• Rumi Coding: Choosing the exact frequency your local bus is going to travel on Jana ties ancient philosophical directives directly to Living Lucky® benchmarks. Learn how leading by example forces the people in your network to step out of their safe comfort zones.
• public speaking confidence play mindset
• understanding marshallow challenge corporate training
• how emotional safety improves learning
• strategic marriage advice for high achievers
• cognitive behavioral tools for financial shame
• overcoming overthinking habits in leadership
• why do kindergartners beat ceos in creativity
• balancing professional decorum with personal fun
• how to stop judging your stock market losses
• why do couples stop having fun after marriage
• using parody songs for team building exercises
• rumi philosophy be the change you want to see
• building an upward success cycle through play

Get the full blog for this podcast at https://www.startlivinglucky.com/blog/do-you-have-a-fun-deficiency-the-performance-power-of-play-s11-e7

playground parameters, performance multipliers, structural play, relationship metrics, investment reframing, corporate safety design, data vs decorum, behavior compounding, the four-minute formula, living lucky frameworks

Transcript

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Why Fun Deserves A Seat

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:19

You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:20

FUN.

Jason Shelfer 0:22

You can't have fun without an F U.

Jana Shelfer 0:25

Oh dear. We're talking about fun today. Jason and I went to a leadership conference over the weekend, and the mission statement, it was for Toastmasters. And the mission statement of Toastmasters literally ends with everybody shouting And have fun doing it.

Jason Shelfer 0:43

Who doesn't have fun doing it?

Jana Shelfer 0:45

I oh you know I've never thought of it that way. Now every time I hear it, I'm gonna get a little naughty.

Jason Shelfer 0:52

Good.

Jana Shelfer 0:53

Oh, fun for me has always been a secret sauce. In fact, I remember my dad saying, if it's not fun, let's not do it.

Jason Shelfer 1:02

Right. Well, there's it was like that simple. A lot of times, as overachievers, you get caught up in the progress and forget the fun.

Jana Shelfer 1:10

Yeah, you get caught up in results and getting better, and it becomes very serious.

Jason Shelfer 1:15

And you start labeling the progress, you start labeling the success as fun, but then you look back over the journey and say, Where was the fun? Where is the fun? Like we forget in the process to just sprinkle the fun in it because the fun makes the adventure worthwhile all throughout. Yeah.

Formal Meetings Can Still Play

Jana Shelfer 1:36

So tonight at our Toastmasters meeting, if anyone is listening that's from our club, they I don't want to ruin the surprise. But Jason and I are singing a parody song. Do you do you want to practice just a little bit of it? Just the chorus. We're gonna sing.

Jason Shelfer 1:52

Everybody knows I can't it's hard for me to sing.

Jana Shelfer 1:54

Having fun at our Toastmasters Club. I'm gonna keep on speaking at our Toastmasters Club. I'm gonna keep on speaking on our club around the club. I'm gonna keep on speaking at our Toastmasters Club. Toastmasters Club. That's the chorus. So you get where we're going with this, right? Now, I have to admit, our club has been a little stuffy at times.

Jason Shelfer 2:23

It's just a little formal. Yeah. Like just we're gonna stick to and I get sticking to the timetable. That's that's important. And you can do all the things that quote unquote need to be done. Yes. You can be formal and fun.

Jana Shelfer 2:39

We can still be formal and fun. I I I kind of want to be more informal and fun, but fun definitely.

Jason Shelfer 2:46

You can stick to the you can have a routine that has fun in it.

Jana Shelfer 2:49

What do they call it? The quorum quorum? There's like rules and rules and decorum. Is that it?

Jason Shelfer 2:56

I think so. I don't use those big words.

Jana Shelfer 2:58

You know, like I I never was in sport 4-H. They always had like the there's like rules to meetings. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Do you know what they're called?

Jason Shelfer 3:07

I don't.

Jana Shelfer 3:08

Bylaws or the more I stick on those, I'm just looking like anything. Call the order.

Jason Shelfer 3:12

Call to order. Point of order.

Jana Shelfer 3:14

I just remember like joining a club and and they were like, you can't just speak, you have to raise your hand, and then you have to say, I second that, and you have to propose things. Like there is a formal way of doing things.

Jason Shelfer 3:28

And so we can we can still follow the guidelines of how things are done and also have fun doing it.

Jana Shelfer 3:35

Yes. Like it's a you just said the mission statement. And how do you think that's it?

Jason Shelfer 3:38

Right, and have fun doing it. It's it's kind of like the fish philosophy. Like with the Pike Place fish market. Are we gonna be world class or are we just gonna say these are the rules and this is the box we have to stick ourselves in? Yes. Like there's no box. How do we make this fun? How do we make this engaging? How do we how do we make whatever we're trying to do exciting and fun and an entertaining and exciting and new? The love book.

Jana Shelfer 4:07

Okay, but we just went off. See, it's like the singing circus here.

Jason Shelfer 4:12

That's fun for me.

Jana Shelfer 4:13

Me too.

Jason Shelfer 4:15

That's why I like getting up in the morning and throwing on the troll sound.

Jana Shelfer 4:18

And it must be fun for all of you because you keep tuning in.

Jason Shelfer 4:20

Getting up in the morning and listening to the greatest showman soundtrack. It fires me up. You know? It's like how do we how do we create that energy inside us? The energy is what creates that momentum and also gets us showing up in a different capacity for whatever we're doing next. Yes. Because we are

The Kindergarteners Beat The Experts

Jason Shelfer 4:42

we're all capable of amazing, wonderful things. It's the capacity.

Jana Shelfer 4:47

Okay, so I worked with the Martha Beck for a couple years, and I remember her telling me the study. There was a study. They had the smartest CEOs in one group, they had engineers in one group, they had college graduates in one group. Like they had different groups of people, and then they had a group of kindergartners. And they asked each of these groups to make a statue or a skyscraper with spaghetti sticks and marshmallows.

Jason Shelfer 5:29

Oh, that's fun. It would probably drive me nuts.

Jana Shelfer 5:34

And believe it or not, the engineers failed. They did.

Jason Shelfer 5:40

They're overthinkers.

Jana Shelfer 5:41

They're overthinkers.

Jason Shelfer 5:43

And all of them know the exact right way, and none of them can be.

Jana Shelfer 5:46

Someone would throw out an idea, they would analyze it. Analyze it, overthink it. The college students were afraid to make a mistake. They're like, oh, okay, yeah, I think maybe this, but I don't really want to speak up and say it. So they just agree. They're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that. Do that. Like they don't really have a voice of their own. The CEOs, everyone wanted to take charge. Nobody wanted to listen.

Jason Shelfer 6:10

Right.

Jana Shelfer 6:10

The kindergartners, however, half of them are eating marshmallows.

Jason Shelfer 6:15

Half of them are they're just playing with it, I bet.

Jana Shelfer 6:18

They're playing. Playing. And when we play, there's something magical that starts to happen. We start to figure it out with in our hearts and not in our heads.

Jason Shelfer 6:31

And we're having, and that's fun. And we learn quicker. Like when we add that that feeling of play, we don't create these little mental barriers and and blocks in our system that create this barrier to learning.

Jana Shelfer 6:49

It also makes it a safe space to be silly, to try new things, to just get outside your comfort zone and know that it's okay to do that. Yeah, I'm just playing.

Jason Shelfer 7:01

Like I don't need to get judged. I'm playing. I don't need to get judged for any decisions I make,

Bringing Play Into Money And Marriage

Jason Shelfer 7:05

it's just play.

Jana Shelfer 7:05

This is pretend land. I know that you and I have been a little guilty though in our own business. Especially. Yeah, because we start we start investing money in our business, and then all of a sudden we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Jason Shelfer 7:21

I feel that with myself.

Jana Shelfer 7:22

We have to be serious about this.

Jason Shelfer 7:24

Especially when I make an investment in the stock market.

Jana Shelfer 7:26

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 7:27

Like I'm like, I and I know it's there's sometimes I'm making an investment where it's like, okay, this is money that I've set aside to play with.

Jana Shelfer 7:34

Uh-huh.

Jason Shelfer 7:35

And it's literally I've set aside to play with it. And I get it, money's serious. It's not quote unquote play money. Yes. But I've set it this side because I can afford to lose it. Yes. But I do not want to lose it because I value it, I value success, I value investing, but it's my education money. But when I lose it, I start judging myself. I start, why didn't I learn that? So I I hear you, I I this is hitting me. This podcast is hitting me, and I'm glad we're having the discussion. Because if I allow myself to stay in play mode and say, you know what? I was playing. Where's the lesson? What what did I was I doing? It's okay. I I played big that time. Uh-huh. It's so true. I didn't have to to try for the home run. I could have tried for the first base. There's there's so much I could have just lived into that little play experiment instead of like, oh, this is gonna be the big one.

unknown 8:37

I know.

Jana Shelfer 8:37

I I find that with people's marriages too. You know, they start out with their relationship, they're playing, they're having fun.

Jason Shelfer 8:45

Everything is an imagination, and what what could it be like? Yes.

Jana Shelfer 8:49

What if and then once they get married and live together for a little bit, all of a sudden things become a little uh more response responsible or something like that. Let's get real, yeah.

Jason Shelfer 9:05

Let's get out of fantasy lands.

Jana Shelfer 9:06

Let's get out of the real world here, honey. Yeah, and it feels like the minute things start going a little in the wrong direction or in a different direction.

Jason Shelfer 9:17

I made a small mistake. And I'm not talking like one of those life changer mistakes.

Jana Shelfer 9:26

It is the first thing that goes out the window.

Jason Shelfer 9:29

Yeah. And I think one of the first things we do in almost any retreat or any any conference that we go to is there's an element of play, an element of fun. Yes. An element of, hey, let's bring the energy that we want instead of the energy that we've been experiencing. Yes. Because in the real world, quote unquote real world, where people are like, this is how things have to be.

Jana Shelfer 9:59

Right.

Jason Shelfer 10:00

You know, then we all will pay to go have this experience and how we want things to be, but then we try to go back and say, let's go back to this other place. And we don't take it, but we don't live into that. How do I bring the fun back? We say, I'm gonna just take back the lesson. And we think the lesson is the cerebral part, but the lesson I think is the fun part. Like bring the fun, bring the play, and then allow what you're doing in your current environment to experience that energy and the fun, and then see what gets built in there.

Create Your Luck Through Energy

Jana Shelfer 10:41

You know what's so funny is there, I believe it was Rumi, a philosopher who said, be the change you wish to see. And I think that's what you and I are are attempting to do tonight at Toastmasters, is we would like to see a little more fun and a little more silliness in our club.

Jason Shelfer 11:05

And I think that's limited like I think Rumi nailed kind of the Living Lucky® philosophy is just choose being lucky. The energy. Like when you start seeing your life as being lucky, you start acting like you're Living Lucky®, and then you start creating your own luck. Like it's it's incredible the way that whole process works starts compounding and accumulating in your favor.

Jana Shelfer 11:30

Ask Sheila. Sheila's life, everything she touches her is gold right now. Yes, we haven't always been the best at articulating it, but I think when people we tend to lead by example, so we tend to say, hey, get on our bus and we'll show you how we show up day after day and how after day we're gonna break out in karaoke to the point where you're like, Stop! You'll start throwing biscuits at us.

Jason Shelfer 12:01

You gotta risk it for the biscuit.

Jana Shelfer 12:04

And it does, it starts accumulating.

Jason Shelfer 12:07

But the more you live into it, there is a compound effect, it is definitely a compounding effect, and because it doesn't all happen at once. But when it happens, it happens forever.

Jana Shelfer 12:18

Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 12:20

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer 12:20

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com