When Choices Start to Hurt

Standing in front of an open refrigerator at 8:00 P.M. wanting to cry isn't a sign of weakness—it is the ultimate symptom of an overloaded brain.

Most ambitious creators and busy professionals treat decision-making like an infinite resource. They navigate daily micro-choices from the second they wake up: Which toothbrush do I use? What shirt should I wear? Should we eat now or later? What show do we scroll on Netflix? But every single choice, no matter how tiny, deducts real fuel from your prefrontal cortex. When sickness, travel, broken routines, or late-night schedules stack up on top of daily executive tasks, your mental bandwidth completely collapses. You end up stuck in Decision Fatigue—where choosing a simple dinner feels like a math problem, second-guessing burns your remaining energy, and checking out entirely becomes the only logical defense.

In this raw, unfiltered episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, recorded while both Jana and Jason are recovering from the "creepy crud" virus, they expose how small, unmanaged choices quietly bleed executive capacity. From analyzing why a broken eating schedule forces you to re-ask the exact same "Am I hungry?" question ten times a day to sharing their exact four-step recovery protocol, they map out how to close open mental loops, quiet brain fog, and protect your prefrontal bandwidth for what actually matters.

What you’ll discover when you hit play:

• The Toothbrush Dilemma: How minor daily options accumulate to create sudden emotional over-saturation.
• The Broken Routine Tax: Why letting meal, sleep, and work schedules slide forces your brain to repeatedly renegotiate basic daily tasks.
• The Open Loop Dumpster: How worrying about events, speeches, and tasks six days in advance destroys your ability to function in the present moment.
• The 2-Minute Coach Donna Rule: How setting strict time limits for small decisions eliminates overthinking and forces your gut intuition to lead.
• Automating Tomorrow: Simple, repeatable systems—from uniform clothing to fixed eating windows—that eliminate choice fatigue before it starts.

Stop letting minor micro-choices hijack your executive power. If you are ready to quiet the mental noise, stop sitting on the fence, and execute a total bandwidth reset, hit play now.

Listen to the audio, watch the official video broadcast, subscribe, and name the one decision you are automating tomorrow.

NUGGETS

• Decision fatigue is a bandwidth problem, not a character flaw. Feeling foggy or paralyzed by small choices means your brain fuel is depleted, not that you are lazy.
• Broken routines create repeat decision taxes. Without fixed windows for eating and sleeping, you waste energy re-negotiating the exact same choices multiple times a day.
• Close open loops with a time-horizon brain dump. Writing down future deadlines and categorizing them by 6 days, 6 weeks, and 6 months stops your mind from carrying everything at once.
• Sitting on the fence just hurts. Indecision and wishy-washy second-guessing bleed far more mental fuel than making a quick choice and adjusting along the way.
• Automate one thing today for tomorrow. Establishing a clothing uniform or a set meal pattern removes daily negotiation and preserves high-value cognitive capacity.
• decision fatigue recovery strategies
• prefrontal cortex cognitive overload
• how broken routines cause mental exhaustion
• time horizon brain dump prioritization
• automating daily micro choices productivity
• overcoming overthinking and indecision
• why am I crying in front of the refrigerator decision fatigue
• how sickness and travel break daily routines
• using time limits to make faster choices
• how to clear brain fog from too many choices
• closing open mental loops to restore focus
• living lucky podcast decision fatigue reset

Questions:

What is decision fatigue and how does it affect human productivity? Decision fatigue is the psychological state of mental and emotional exhaustion resulting from making an overwhelming number of choices in a given timeframe. As the prefrontal cortex depletes its glucose and cognitive bandwidth, an individual's capacity to evaluate trade-offs collapses. This leads to brain fog, impulsive choices, procrastination, or complete psychological withdrawal ("checking out").

How does establishing a daily routine reduce decision fatigue? Establishing a daily routine reduces decision fatigue by automating recurring micro-choices—such as meal times, workout schedules, and clothing selections. When daily behaviors operate on predictable, automated triggers, the brain does not need to consciously negotiate or evaluate options, preserving prefrontal bandwidth for high-stakes, strategic decision-making.

What is the "Time-Horizon Brain Dump" technique for cognitive overload? The "Time-Horizon Brain Dump" is an executive prioritization exercise where an individual writes down every open task or nagging thought currently cluttering their working memory. The list is then sorted into clear time horizons: Immediate/6 Days, 6 Weeks, and 6 Months. Categorizing tasks by urgency closes subconscious open loops, reduces anxiety, and restores present-state focus.

• Standing at the Refrigerator: The moment small choices start to hurt Jana and Jason open the episode recounting the overwhelming feeling of being unable to pick a toothbrush or make dinner. Discover why decision fatigue is an executive fuel crisis rather than a lack of discipline.
• The "Creepy Crud" Effect: How illness and broken routines compound stress Analyzing how passing a virus back and forth strips away physical and mental stamina. Learn why physical fatigue multiplies daily decision stress.
• The Repeat Decision Tax: Why re-asking "Am I hungry?" drains your battery Jason breaks down the hidden cost of letting meal schedules slide. Discover how repeatedly evaluating basic choices throughout the day liquidates your executive bandwidth.
• The Netflix Scroll Trap: Why checking out becomes easier than choosing Jana details spending 45 minutes scrolling streaming apps only to go to sleep annoyed. Learn how over-saturation triggers complete psychological retreat.
• Open Loop Contagion: Carrying future stress into present reality How worrying about a speech six days away paralyzes daily execution. Discover how subconscious open loops steal present clarity.
• Step 1: The True Mental Pause (Sensory Mode vs. Thinking Mode) Jason outlines the first recovery step: giving yourself absolute permission to stop deciding for a set window and moving into sensory awareness.
• Step 2: The Time-Horizon Brain Dump (6 Days, 6 Weeks, 6 Months) A step-by-step framework for emptying open tasks onto paper and sorting them by urgency so your working memory can reset.
• Step 3: Unplugging Through Meditation & Setting Boundaries Jana shares how meditation restores clarity, and why being vulnerable enough to say "I am not the go-to person for choices today" protects your baseline.
• Step 4: The 2-Minute Rule & The "Fence-Sitting" Reframe Jason's coach's favorite quote: "Don't sit on the fence—it just hurts." Discover how setting strict time limits forces quick execution and stops second-guessing.
• Step 5: Automating Tomorrow (Uniforms, meal patterns, and closing resets) Wrapping up with the ultimate Living Lucky® takeaway: automate one small choice today to give your future self a friction-free tomorrow.

decision fatigue recovery, prefrontal cortex overload, routine automation, time horizon brain dump, overcoming overthinking, fence sitting indecision, living lucky podcasts, the four-minute formula, living lucky frameworks

Transcript

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When Choices Start To Hurt

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Have you ever stood in front of the refrigerator at night just wanting to cry?

Jason Shelfer 0:04

Because it's just impossible to make a decision about making dinner.

Jana Shelfer 0:08

Welcome to Decision Fatigue. I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®. You are too. We're talking about decision fatigue. I've got it.

Jason Shelfer 0:34

I've got it. Can you feel it?

Jana Shelfer 0:37

I couldn't decide today which toothbrush to use.

Jason Shelfer 0:42

You got too many toothbrushes.

Jana Shelfer 0:44

No, it literally was like, I I should use the one that oscillates in a circle. No, it wasn't that. I've got one that moves in a circle, and then I have one that goes this way.

Jason Shelfer 0:57

One that you hold and it's just manual.

Jana Shelfer 0:59

I just have a manual one, and then I have one that I stole from the airline that I actually. Oh, the little tiny one that just fits in your little purse.

Jason Shelfer 1:06

No, because it fits down in those first class toothbrush.

Jana Shelfer 1:11

It fits behind these front teeth, and I like that. Yeah, that little tiny mouth. At any rate, uh these sound like first class problems. I understand that. But I cannot make a decision because I am tired of making decisions.

Jason Shelfer 1:27

It's funny. It's sometimes and decision fatigue will sneak up on you. It will, and sometimes it sneaks up on you every day, and sometimes it sneaks up on you in a season.

Jana Shelfer 1:38

It doesn't help that I don't feel well.

Jason Shelfer 1:41

Yeah, that does not help at all.

Jana Shelfer 1:42

And I have to tell you, I mean, just getting up, getting dressed, trying to decide what we're gonna wear today.

Jason Shelfer 1:51

And I know you laugh because it's funny. Like it's it it because it hurts, it's it's that hurt funny. It's like hitting your hitting your funny bone. Like I'm on the verge of crying. Nothing funny about hitting your funny bone, hurts. But you kind of laugh because it hurts, and it's like, this hurts. But you laugh at it.

Jana Shelfer 2:08

Yeah, why why do we do that?

Jason Shelfer 2:10

I don't know. I think that's why we call it the funny bone, because like it's it's because it's definitely not funny. It's not funny when you hit it, but this is kind of decision fatigue when you become aware of it and you're like, oh wow, this is what I'm suffering from. I'm not lazy, I'm not unmotivated. I have I can't make another freaking decision.

Jana Shelfer 2:29

I have literally asked you like three times this week, you're gonna have to tell me what to do this week because I just I can't even function.

Jason Shelfer 2:38

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 2:39

I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing.

Jason Shelfer 2:42

Well, first of all, both you're welcome for the sickness that I've passed on to you. Yeah, thank you.

Jana Shelfer 2:48

Thank you for that. Which everyone who's ever been married understands this. If one person in the relationship comes down with the crud many times, most of the time, almost all the time, it's gonna pass to the other person. Yep.

Jason Shelfer 3:05

Sometimes it doesn't, but most of the time it's not.

Jana Shelfer 3:07

Yeah, it does. It does.

Jason Shelfer 3:10

But part of that is we're spending a lot of mental energy fighting, like focused on getting better. That is true. Like that, just feeling better. That is true. And then what and then other people are feeling this too. Yeah, it's not just us. And we have decision fatigue even not in a state of sickness.

Jana Shelfer 3:33

And if you have kids, I I know that it's probably exacerbated, exacerbated to the tenth degree. I almost said masturbated to the tenth degree. Well, that too.

Jason Shelfer 3:43

You've got teen boys, probably. You know? The situation is sometimes we have to just figure out where are we spending that energy and how do we automate some of it. Because you mentioned earlier today, like, hey, we've we've let our routine

How Routines Break And Stress Grows

Jason Shelfer 4:00

take a dump. Like this completely.

Jana Shelfer 4:02

We really have, because we were traveling and then we got sick, and it kind of feels like we've been adding some new things. So we've been adding new clubs that meet at times where they meet at night and at different times that I'm not used to being awake. So my sleep schedule has changed.

Jason Shelfer 4:21

And when we travel, we tend to allow ourselves that forgiveness of allowing the routine to slide.

Jana Shelfer 4:30

It's it's I don't know. I just I know that I need a little, I need to do a little shake me up. I'll shake you up. But I also have realized like I cannot decide. I mean, Tater will come to me in the middle of the night, and I'm like, I I don't know what you want right now.

Jason Shelfer 4:51

Use your words. Use your words, dog.

Jana Shelfer 4:53

I'm so sorry, and I can't make a decision for myself, and I I I cannot make a decision for myself.

Jason Shelfer 5:04

Our dog, just in case she didn't know, requires fresh water. She can't have a bowl that's been sitting there for three hours.

Jana Shelfer 5:11

So decision fatigue is a thing. It is real, and a lot of people feel it. And I mean, just things that you wouldn't even think that I would be thinking about. Uh I know you said automate things. Well, we were having our meals delivered to us. We still have to cook them, but we were having our meals delivered to us, so at least I didn't have to decide what we were gonna have for dinner.

Jason Shelfer 5:37

But one of the things you mentioned earlier was our like when we eat, because that used to be like we knew. We knew that we But that has slid. It has it has slid. So now we're kind of deciding in the day when do we feel hungry? And then we And you're never hungry.

Jana Shelfer 5:56

Well you've been on medicine lately, you're never hungry. So I'm always like, I aren't we are you hungry? Well, so are we gonna eat anything?

Jason Shelfer 6:03

So many times we we have a decision and we're like, Am I hungry now? So we've made a decision, no, and then it comes up again, am I hungry yet? And then I get hanged. Am I that hungry? So we make that same decision multiple times where when we had the schedule, we knew we were eating and we would just ate. And we didn't overeat, we just ate what was a proportionate, and then we went to the next meal because we knew if I eat now, I'll want to typically I will want to eat again in four or five hours, and then typically I'll want to eat again in four or five hours.

Jana Shelfer 6:35

And that was so simple. It also feels like our schedule has changed with our production and our filming, and so we have been getting dressed at different times, we have been filming at different times, we've been editing at different times. Anyway, that it sounds like we're complaining and it sounds like we're making excuses. It's just so let's get into what are the action steps because this is a problem for a lot of people, and if we're experiencing it, then I know that I know that other people out there are experiencing it as well. And it's as it's little things like when we do have off time, we sat and we scrolled Netflix for 45 minutes looking for something to watch, and we couldn't make a decision. We literally could not make a decision on what we wanted to watch to the point where I'm like, I'm going to sleep, yeah. And we didn't watch anything. And I just checked out. It was easier for me right now. It was easier for me to check out than to decide. Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 7:42

And that's real. That's and that's what we talked about, and that's like said, okay, well, let's talk about this on the podcast, and let's come up with what are the things that we know get us through it that will help other people get through it.

Jana Shelfer 7:58

Yesterday, uh, we got a text saying my sewing machine has been fixed, and it literally was I'm like, I don't know. Should I get up and put on my pants so that we can drive 30 minutes to go get my sewing machine? Like, there were so many little steps it felt.

Jason Shelfer 8:19

We can get there before they close.

Jana Shelfer 8:22

And I I just got overwhelmed to where I I'm like, I can't make a decision right now.

Jason Shelfer 8:28

Do we take Tater with us? Do we do like are we gonna stop and get food? Are we gonna get groceries on the way? Like, what are the things what are what other decisions go on?

Jana Shelfer 8:37

That I just was like, I can't do it.

Jason Shelfer 8:39

You know what? Checkout.

Jana Shelfer 8:41

And I mean, things that are happening a week uh away are literally in my mind. We have a speech that we're not giving for another six days, and I'm literally like thinking, okay, what is the the topic? And we should already have that written by now, and you know, like that needs to be rehearsed, and we don't have our our journals done, and we have a meeting on Wednesday, and what are we gonna talk about? Like things are looping back here that I can't even function in the present.

Jason Shelfer 9:17

So that and that's that's what we're here

The Recovery Plan Mental Pause

Jason Shelfer 9:20

for today. Okay. How do we how do we close some of those loops?

Jana Shelfer 9:23

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 9:24

How do we quiet some of the noise? And how do we give our prefrontal cortex or where wherever we're making all those decisions, how do we give that a break so we can just kind of like recharge?

Jana Shelfer 9:36

Because there is science to all of this. Yeah. I mean, if there is one thing that is shrinking in today's world, it is our attention.

Jason Shelfer 9:44

100%.

Jana Shelfer 9:45

And there is reasons for that, which that's a whole other podcast.

Jason Shelfer 9:50

Probably a whole number four or five podcasts.

Jana Shelfer 9:52

That we probably don't need to get into. But there is reasons.

Jason Shelfer 9:59

How do we bring our attention back? How do we how do we say in the Living Lucky® world, how do we get focused on the things that we want so that we can make powerful decisions that move the needle in our lives?

Jana Shelfer 10:11

But right now, I don't even feel like I have the bandwidth to make a decision.

Jason Shelfer 10:15

So how do we recover from the current state of decision fatigue? Yes. So I think the first state of recovery is a mental pause, which is fine. Take the mental pause, go outside, go for a walk, you know, get back into sensory mode instead of thinking mode. But the thing with that is we have to give ourselves permission to let go of decisions for an hour. Like nothing is I am let go of control.

Jana Shelfer 10:48

Is that what you're saying?

Jason Shelfer 10:55

Or whatever I'm giving myself permission to do in this space of this hour, I don't have to make a decision. I don't have to think about anything. I get to rest and recharge. That's it.

Jana Shelfer 11:08

Yeah. I and I do I try to do that. Like I it's hard. And I also try to delegate as much as I can, you know, as far as oh I know.

Jason Shelfer 11:21

I do too though. I mean, honestly, you know.

Jana Shelfer 11:27

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 11:28

So and thank you. Yeah. So we're both we're both pulling the wagon. So that that's the way it is. I think the second thing is prioritizing. So when we get back, write out the things that are like front and foremost, and then write out some of those things that are just kind of weighing deep in the in the background that are small, because the small decisions take up just as much energy as the big decisions. And we notice that when we're standing at the fridge, you know, and we're going, can't do it. You know, or what like when I'm trying to pick out a shirt to wear.

Jana Shelfer 12:02

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 12:03

Like, why do you think uh like it's I love matching you.

Jana Shelfer 12:06

Yeah, I know.

Jason Shelfer 12:07

But a lot of times it's just easiest.

Jana Shelfer 12:09

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 12:10

You know, who who made the decision first? No decision for me.

Jana Shelfer 12:14

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 12:15

So it's it's perfect. And I want people to see us as a unified team. So that's that's what that's it. So let's write it out and then we prioritize. Okay, what it what needs to what's going to be important in six days, what's going to be important in six weeks, what's going to be important in six months. And then we start ha knocking things off in a timely fashion. So get that brain dump out there and and pick those things.

Jana Shelfer 12:40

And then I also think it's important to be vulnerable and to to be able to admit when we're not doing okay. Because I know that I have not been doing okay. And I have literally said it in every way possible that I know how. I I I mean, I have been saying I do not know how I can make any decision right now. I feel overwhelmed, I feel like I've got way too much going on in my head, and uh I'm not the go-to person.

Jason Shelfer 13:15

Right. And it's time to just say no decisions right now. And that that's what I'm saying. So if it's more than an hour, it's more than an hour. It can be a whole day. But we have to also give ourselves permission to turn off the the meaning maker.

Jana Shelfer 13:31

I think meditation is a really good way for me to unplug.

Jason Shelfer 13:36

I've seen it work for you. Like it is a very specific tool that I see you get clarity, power, and direction from all every single time. So yeah, that would be a tool for you. It might be a tool for lots of other people that are familiar with meditation or have used meditation in the past. So yeah, I'd say 100%.

Jana Shelfer 14:06

I would say another thing is also I think awareness in that this is going on because you know, there's something about I I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes, you know, when you go into the laundry room and then you're like, I don't even remember why I came in here, right? Or you go into the pantry and you're like, why didn't I just walk into the bedroom?

Jason Shelfer 14:26

You're like, I know I came back here for something.

Jana Shelfer 14:28

I came in here for a reason. And then you sit there and you're like, okay, let me go through it, let me go through it. And there's like this brain fog happening. And then you're like, why am I having brain fog? And then that that's a whole loop that you go through.

Jason Shelfer 14:40

And then you're almost you're almost going through your whole Rolodex of decisions of like, I know I decided to come back here. Yes. What made that decision happen? Yes. And then why am I failing right now?

Jana Shelfer 14:54

And then when I get back there, then when I do come to the conclusion, oh, I came back here to either get my vitamin B or my vitamin D, which one? Uh now I have another decision

Time Limits Trusting Your Gut

Jana Shelfer 15:06

to make.

Jason Shelfer 15:06

Take them both. So one of the other things that I was thinking about that really worked for us in the past is when we had Coach Berta, and she's like, or might I'm pretty sure it was Coach Berta. She's like, here's two minutes. You're gonna come up with a decision, or you're gonna come up with your formula in two minutes. And we sat down together and we just let it out. And it it wasn't perfect, but it was and it wasn't the formula or what are you talking about with the formula? We we came up with a I think a program.

Jana Shelfer 15:39

So it's just time it was with it was Coach Donna.

Jason Shelfer 15:42

Coach Donna, okay.

Jana Shelfer 15:43

So she just gave us a time limit. Yes. And when you have a time limit, you don't think about it.

Jason Shelfer 15:47

You stop thinking because you you you've now said, Oh my gosh, I've I need to do it because I'm gonna run out of time. And you quit overthinking, quit overanalyzing, and you just make decisions, you make decisions quickly instead of letting them burn up a lot of mentality.

Jana Shelfer 16:04

And then once you make a decision, you stand by it.

Jason Shelfer 16:06

Yeah, because your gut's usually right.

Jana Shelfer 16:07

You don't you don't second guess it because that's the other thing. Is once once sometimes I make a decision, then I'm like, did I make the right decision?

Jason Shelfer 16:16

Yeah, I had a coach um in when I was going to my mastermind out in Dallas, he said, don't sit on the fence. Because sitting on the fence just hurts your crotch.

Jana Shelfer 16:25

Yeah, that's true.

Jason Shelfer 16:26

Yeah. So and that to me is like being wishy-washy. Like I made the decision, so I'm either going to be on this side of the fence or on that side of the fence. Don't make the decision and then jump back up on this fence.

Jana Shelfer 16:37

Yeah, I've even been in the last week, I've been so wishy-washy that I have literally consulted Chat GPT on a few things, and I'm like, can you just make a decision for me? And then ChatGPT will come back with a wishy-washy answer because it's just reflecting everything that I say to you. And I'll say, Chat, stop being so wishy-washy.

Jason Shelfer 16:59

This is the kind of world you love right now. Like, I just want to make you happy, Master.

Jana Shelfer 17:05

I am getting gaslighted right now. Uh decision fatigue. It's a real thing. Yeah. It is a real thing. So maybe come up with a uniform

Automate Tomorrow And Wrap Up

Jana Shelfer 17:18

or a clothing pattern that you you're gonna wear.

Jason Shelfer 17:21

Which is an automation form form, you know.

Jana Shelfer 17:24

So we we've kind of done that where we just wear colorful shirts. That's one thing that we do.

Jason Shelfer 17:29

And jeans.

Jana Shelfer 17:30

And yeah.

Jason Shelfer 17:31

Or black shorts for me.

Jana Shelfer 17:32

So we've been doing that. Uh food, we've been having our our food delivered, which has been a little helpful. I think it's very helpful. We we got it, we need to get back into our pattern.

Jason Shelfer 17:43

Yeah, I think I think now it's it's putting the time frame on it of when we're eating during the day. And also getting back into breakfast. So automating some of those decisions and then take take if you're in the middle of decision fatigue, take your break. Give yourself an unplug period. But I think first one of the biggest steps is if you're if you need to give yourself the unplug period, give yourself the unplug period. Second thing is is pick one thing. Pick at least one thing that you can automate for tomorrow. So pick one thing today where you can make tomorrow easier. And then you can just keep doing that.

Jana Shelfer 18:20

Yeah, sometimes automating though, it just adds a whole nother rabbit hole of decisions to make. What program do I use to automate this? Thanks for joining us. Keep Living Lucky®. Bye bye.