Why MrBeast’s Right-Hand Man Walked Away From Everything | Shawn Hendrix

Former Chief of Staff of Mr.Beast enterprises and current multi-media business owner, Shawn Hendrix, opens up about his brother’s suic*de, walking away from MrBeast, and finding faith, family, and purpose. This is a powerful story every man needs to hear.

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Transcript

00;00;01;13 - 00;00;20;27
Unknown
When you kill yourself, you don't end the pain, you transfer it. We carry it for the rest of our life. I have a massive fear of failure. If I failed this, it would be in the most public way possible. All the stuff that's going wrong in your life. Do the work. Take ownership. Taking ownership. Need a confidence? They're just consuming themselves to make something happen.

00;00;20;27 - 00;00;41;26
Unknown
And business is a rubber ball, right? That'll always bounce back. Marriage relationships are a glass ball. You neglect that thing too long and drop it. That thing will shatter and be permanently damaged. Even when you feel depressed, and even when you feel just that. Like desire to give up. You've seen what it does. You have to go perform in business than to go play with the town and then go home and do it.

00;00;41;26 - 00;00;57;20
Unknown
The hard stuff and Ambien. Staying busy is a drug. It's a good way to run from anxiety and stress and like, I'm always busy. I say if I stay busy, then I can't think about stuff. But then you find out that it's never enough. Yeah, you just gotta stay busy, busy, busy. And as the stuff gets worse at home because you're staying busy.

00;00;57;26 - 00;01;23;16
Unknown
Well, then you're going to treat that by staying away even more. And it's just going to keep getting worse and wait till it shatters. And once it's shattered it's too late. Shawn Hendrix is a multifaceted media professional. He is a family man, a man of God and an incredible human being. In this episode, we talk about how he rose to fame winning one of Mr. Beast's large competitions, and then eventually came to support Mr. Beast on growing his empire.

00;01;23;17 - 00;01;42;12
Unknown
We talk about the challenges that the Christian man has, what it looks like for a man to heal, and he gets very real about how his past has transformed him into the man he is today. Shawna, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me down. Yeah. Yeah. So there's so many topics I want to dive in.

00;01;42;13 - 00;02;09;10
Unknown
You talk about fatherhood. Just being a husband, homesteading. Let's start off with, with homesteading. So you you're pretty passionate about homesteading. What, what is a homestead? What is a homestead? A homestead is any piece of land is providing for you. Yeah, right. I think there's a size or shape or anything. It's that you're producing something on your land that sustains you, and, you know, it doesn't.

00;02;09;10 - 00;02;27;15
Unknown
It's hard to provide everything off a piece of land. We just have the skills for it anymore. But even if it's just if you're have chickens or rabbits, something small, you're homesteading, you're doing something to learn those skills. So I think that's fundamentally just you're providing for yourself the land that you own. Yeah. That's good. We, I was just sharing.

00;02;27;15 - 00;02;50;14
Unknown
We just got three cows, and it's, it's a pretty cool deal. So our goal is to eat one of the cows each year. Yep. And, slaughter one, get it each year, and just keep that moving. We got it for originally for the ag exemption. And now, they're pretty cool. Funny story though, I, so I thought cows were more chill, so I when we got them delivered or the guy kind of rushes like, hey, I can bring him over right now.

00;02;50;14 - 00;03;07;29
Unknown
The gate, the gate surrounding. We just bought 24 acres next to our, 16 acre property. So we have 40 acres now. And as I was, and so I'm like, yeah, I do go drop them off. So anyway, he drives over, but I didn't verify all of the area was fully fenced. And so I just thought they'd kind of stay in this area.

00;03;07;29 - 00;03;24;11
Unknown
But as soon as the gate dropped, I guess, man, they bolted. Yeah. The first thing they do is run the perimeter. Yeah, they go like, where are we at? What's the new what's the new game here? Yeah. They're going to test your fence immediately. Yeah they did though. They said yeah they did. And we, so we could they took off so we couldn't find we couldn't find them for the entire day.

00;03;24;14 - 00;03;40;06
Unknown
And then the next day rolls around. Can't find, and so I'm like, dude, I literally just lost, like, I was without a lot of money. And so I was pissed. And so I ended up getting a call. I get a call, the next day, it was like, I don't know, part 2 or 3 in an afternoon.

00;03;40;06 - 00;03;56;02
Unknown
And this lady's like, hey, I think I have your cows. And I'm like, what were you at? They were about a couple miles away that they had wandered into some neighborhood and they were in a residential track neighborhood. And so they had somebody had roped em off in this yard area, and the whole neighborhood was out. There's about 50 people.

00;03;56;02 - 00;04;14;05
Unknown
Oh my God, al like just having a blast with the cow. The fact that cows are a a, spectacle in Texas now, it's. Yeah. Shows how far Texas has become urbanized. You know, very much so. Especially especially out here. Yeah. So it's kind of a fun experience. I got, we put it we threw in our goat.

00;04;14;05 - 00;04;35;20
Unknown
Goat? Little, fenced area with a whole. Go to the whole cows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we got that in all, we're finishing the fence for the cows, but. Yeah. So we're, we're building that out. So you're in North Carolina, and so you're building out, like, what's your vision? So we have a lot of guys listening to this that have a, are either living on a decent amount of property, they're living off their property, or they have a vision someday.

00;04;35;20 - 00;04;54;09
Unknown
Yeah. Of have it's a property. So what is it? What's your plans? I'm curious what your plan is for your homestead out in North Carolina. So regenerative farming is the the fundamental of it, and I don't I'm not an expert at this. I'm learning. Right. We're you know, I've spent money and and I've worked with, Daniel Salatin, which is Joel Shelton, son on the design.

00;04;54;11 - 00;05;12;09
Unknown
Right. Because, again, they've been doing it for years, so why not spend the, I'm telling you, the couple hundred bucks I spent on that consultation, saving about 30,000 and fencing. So I was going to do it wrong. Wow. You know, so just to say I'm not an expert. Yeah, we're I'm learning right along with everyone else. Yeah, but I guess the point of that is, is don't be afraid of asking questions.

00;05;12;12 - 00;05;28;08
Unknown
Don't think you know it. Like, be humble and go seek out those who have done it for a lot longer than you. So if wherever you're at in that, I think that was one of the biggest advice that I got early on was just get good advice before you spend money. So for us, the tradition of agriculture, that's where we want to go.

00;05;28;10 - 00;05;48;22
Unknown
And that's, kind of a broad term. But basically we want to, you know, not be hauling in, you know, plow and spray. Right? Bringing in chemicals to make the plants grow. We want animals on the land that naturally forage and that leave behind manure that we can use on our gardens, that then the gardens produce vegetables. We can grow our own hay.

00;05;48;22 - 00;06;07;10
Unknown
So it's not sprayed with anything. So just kind of a closed ecosystem, but also relying on our neighbors. We want to we want to have it be that it was a thing when we moved to Oklahoma. One of the biggest downsides, we were so far out. We had no community. And it was it's just like all this lonely work.

00;06;07;13 - 00;06;32;13
Unknown
And so I think the big thing for us is it's also providing beyond just us. It's not just about us, but also being able to meet the owner of a restaurant who wants a good, healthy this. Maybe we'll produce that then, you know, for profit or even just for, benefit of having extra output. So it's to me, it's like I want to be able to bless people with it, but then also know where our food's coming from and also restore land.

00;06;32;13 - 00;06;47;25
Unknown
Right now, if you look at a drone shot and I can send you a screenshot of it, if you look at our farm after one year of not spraying, it is green. I mean, it's beautiful. Everything around us is just brown because it's been sprayed and plowed and it looks it looks like it's been color corrected because it's so green.

00;06;47;27 - 00;07;04;28
Unknown
If you look at our fields, there's, clover and wheat and sweet peas, all this stuff that we planted as a cover crop. And it's. You can hear the buzzing. There's so many bees. You go one field over, you can't even find a bee because it's been sprayed. They're all dead, you know, there's nothing for the bees to feed on.

00;07;05;00 - 00;07;28;16
Unknown
So you just. You see the life come back to the land so quickly, you kind of get addicted to, like, restoring creation. You know, it's like I'm gonna take and do and put this land back because it was commercially farmed for 70 years or maybe even longer. And so that dirt has been tilled and sprayed and plowed just over and over again, just right, just taken away from.

00;07;28;18 - 00;07;45;20
Unknown
And what's one year I feel like it bounced back there. So I guess to give you hope that if your land is not great, God's creation is so amazing that it just I mean, where all these bees come from, where do these butterflies come from in one year? The field is full of life, so that's really what I think it's that's important to us.

00;07;45;20 - 00;08;06;16
Unknown
What is, what do you have a vision of having your family all eventually live on the property out there? We bought it in a way that if our kids want me with 67 acres, it's like you wanna put a house on it, by all means. Yeah. We actually kind of wasn't the greatest. We bought the 60 acres, and then I found out after I bought at the seven across the street, it sold to us.

00;08;06;16 - 00;08;24;24
Unknown
Sold. It was going to be a development. That was like the end of our driveway. They were going to put, like, 12 houses, and my wife's like, no, I don't want this. It's like. So we end up buying the seven acres. So now we on both sides of the road. So we have seven acres, which is perfect for building houses across the road, plus our 60, which is our homestead.

00;08;24;26 - 00;08;40;29
Unknown
And so I definitely I don't know what we're going to do with that yet, but I'm sure we'll, we'll figure out a way to, to utilize it, whether it's our own kids putting homes, you can buy a manufactured home for 60, $70,000 and then put it on the land. Yeah, it's such a head start for somebody in life.

00;08;41;00 - 00;09;03;08
Unknown
Yeah. I love it. That's. That's part of our vision. Yeah. I would love it if our boys right now, they're nine and 12. But I would love it if they eventually decided to live on the property in the back. Yeah. The out. Yeah. And it's really because, I mean, what happened years ago was, was, there was just a big craze or people, I mean, families used to all live together right by the house out of necessity.

00;09;03;08 - 00;09;21;26
Unknown
Yeah, exactly. That was the deal. And eventually people, as things became more industrialized, they're moving out all over. All over the place. Right. We're finding these, the chase, the work 100%. And so now, though, I feel like there's been a shift about, well, maybe not in the best way. We have, you know, a 35 year old guys living with their with their mom still in right in the basement.

00;09;22;03 - 00;09;38;04
Unknown
So every kind of multi-generational living. Yeah, that's that's not what I'm talking about. Talking about a guy that has a job. Right? And my son eventually living, just living on the property. Right. He's got his own little plot, his own little piece of land right there, and he has his house. And I would absolutely love that. That's the vision.

00;09;38;07 - 00;09;57;11
Unknown
One of my mentors, Bob shank, he, he, that was his vision. He actually, they were in Orange County, Newport Beach, but he had all of his family living in a cul de sac. Yeah, he could just walk over, see the grandkids. It was like one of the most special things he had said that that had been done in his life was being able to have his family so close where he could mentor the grandkids.

00;09;57;11 - 00;10;16;02
Unknown
Right, right. So he was like intentionally mentoring and developing them. Well, it's such an important part of the process. We kick our kids out at 18 and go, go figure the world out. You know, it's it's a bit of a brutal trial. The cost of rent, just the lure of the world, and that they need to keep them a shelter.

00;10;16;04 - 00;10;33;17
Unknown
But it's nice to have a transitionary period. Even if it's like, hey, get your own house on the other part of the property, have your own life, you know, it's. You're still out from under mom and dad's roof, and I think that's a big step. And, we actually, I shall we've seen that talking about have friends that lived at our farm in Oklahoma.

00;10;33;19 - 00;10;52;07
Unknown
They started something in Austin called my family's farm. And their whole thing is aged out foster kids. So these kids come, they stay in a home, a little tiny home on the property. But they still have to be. They still contribute to the family. They still have older, wiser people. They're mentoring them so they don't just get right out of foster care.

00;10;52;14 - 00;11;08;00
Unknown
Boom. Into the world with a government check. You know, they get a chance to learn some responsibility and grow as adults under the care and watchful eye, but not overseen. They still their own people. And so I was like, man, why don't we we do this for foster kids. Like, why do we have that for our own kids?

00;11;08;02 - 00;11;22;21
Unknown
And so yeah, you my kids, they're more than welcome. You just put a tiny home on the other side of the property. Now they're going to contribute. Yeah, right. They're going to pay rent. Are they going to contribute? Yeah. Right. You can go weedy the all the fence lines once a month. We can pay rent. Right. It's not a free ride.

00;11;22;24 - 00;11;37;04
Unknown
But yeah, that's that would be, it maybe saving our kids. Maybe it's somebody else. So a young family wants to learn homesteading. Yeah. And come in for a year and learn some of the skills with us, and then go out and start their own. We're not sure what we're doing it with you, but I love that idea.

00;11;37;06 - 00;11;52;29
Unknown
How is, Man, it was cool. Speaking of kids, your son was able to come into it. Yeah. He has, he's talked nonstop about it. He's like, I was skeptical going in, you know, he's like data. This could be, like, this big finance thing. You know, they're going to sell me on some MLM thing, you know, or.

00;11;52;29 - 00;12;09;26
Unknown
Yeah, he didn't know. He's just like, as naturally skeptical he goes, but man, they're like, it's faith, family, fitness, finance. You know, he's just he's already had it down. He's talking about all the analogies and all the stuff you put him through. And he's like, they're just. He's like, I was like, I was always gonna be this, that or another.

00;12;09;26 - 00;12;27;16
Unknown
You guys, they're just solid believers, dad. You know, there's just they're pushing us towards God and being better man. I'm like, yeah, that's what they do. But, And he got baptized. It was cool. We don't baptize our kids as babies. We don't baptize them as children. It's when you are ready to make a proclamation. Yeah. And he's been wanting to for a while, but it was just cool.

00;12;27;16 - 00;12;44;04
Unknown
He came here and had this experience and, And then walked away with it, wanting to give his life to the Lord. So that's the thing. Thank you, first of all, for hosting that. And I didn't mean down to this, but, man, he's I see every time you see somebody tells the whole story. I saw the black vans.

00;12;44;04 - 00;13;00;27
Unknown
I'm like, oh, the infamous black vans, you know? Hey, but he's like, dad, I, I only, I only give 40% in my life. And I'm like, yeah, that's right. That's the 40% rule. He's like, I just realized I was just kind of coasting. He goes, I heels. I realize how much stronger I was and what I am.

00;13;01;00 - 00;13;29;19
Unknown
And so even just that confidence of, like, you can do a lot more than you think you can. I mean, that's an amazing gift for an 18 year old. To get that so early in life, I think I got that lesson at like 42. Yeah. You know, it's like I read David Goggins book Can't Hurt Me and realized that the reason I'm fat and out of shape is all my fault, but kind of doesn't feel great, but it's the truth, you know, so getting that kind of personal accountability and you are much stronger than you think you are.

00;13;29;22 - 00;13;43;02
Unknown
Lesson at 18 is invaluable. So, man. So cool. Yeah. He shared with me that he was baptized. Yeah, it was, the giant smile on my face. Yeah. Just just because, I mean, you guys, you grew up with a great Christian family, but he just wanted to take. I think he just wants to take his own steps.

00;13;43;02 - 00;13;56;10
Unknown
Right? Or if he's 18. Yeah, he wants to take his own stuff. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I know, and that's good. I think that's a great thing. Yeah. You know my wife's like, oh I wish I could have been there. I'm like, yeah, but this is like, this is a man. Come on my man. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to be able to be at all like all of us.

00;13;56;17 - 00;14;15;14
Unknown
All right. What's your 80 man. They're on there. They're on their own journey. So that was a beautiful day. It was good. It was. It was. It's awesome. You know? And for us, it's just, wanted to be authentic. And I think in this in type environment, like, that's a, it's you're proclaiming to other a group of guys that you're spending time with and, it was just a really cool moment.

00;14;15;14 - 00;14;34;20
Unknown
So I really do appreciate, that, that you guys did for him. So yeah, it was so neat. So neat. What, let's talk about, I'm just curious what your thoughts are on Trump and his first hundred days. Boy, Trump in his first hundred days. The hard shift, I know, but yeah, I was like, yeah, a lot of a lot of excitement.

00;14;34;26 - 00;14;57;03
Unknown
I've been very on board with the kind of the extreme anchor strategy of his foreign diplomacy. Yeah. You know, I've read never split the difference. And so I get negotiation. It's like, hey, how about 135% tariffs people? Oh, what an idiot. And they're like and there's some battling back and forth. But you actually start getting to a point where you can actually get to a deal.

00;14;57;04 - 00;15;21;02
Unknown
Yeah. Right. And and so just watching him execute on that network, which is that's wild. It's, it's, it's just it's a different it's it's nice to see somebody with some real life skill managing the country. Now, I wish we would have seen, more convictions behind the fraud, waste and abuse. Like I'd. You tell me we're wasting all this money.

00;15;21;08 - 00;15;39;27
Unknown
Yeah, but no one's being held accountable. But I also get the. It takes a long time to, necessarily put cases together. And sometimes they were legally squandering the money. Mean we we wrote wall rules to where it's like it's not a crime. We were just on a bill. They were just doing their job, you know? So, but all in all, it's.

00;15;39;27 - 00;15;59;02
Unknown
I give it a pretty solid A rating for the first 200 days. I mean, gas is a 250 a gallon. Like, prices are coming down. There's been some great deals on the stock market. I mean, you know, no complaints, am I? Looks bright, man. Yeah. So, yeah, a lot of I'm real curious what 2026 is going to look like.

00;15;59;04 - 00;16;15;19
Unknown
So if this progress continues, the amount of stuff that is getting done and potentially some good tax reform. Yeah. And would be incredible. It just, it looks very, looks very promising. Not without its chaos. Where would you go when you come in that hot. There's going to be a lot of chaos. Well, if you're going to make change.

00;16;15;19 - 00;16;29;20
Unknown
Yeah. It's going to be it's going to be messy. Yeah. And it's going to be mistakes. That's the thing. He's not going to do it perfectly. I promise you, he's going to make mistakes. But we also have to give a chance. And that's the thing I do remind myself of when I'm frustrated. I'm like, this isn't happening fast enough.

00;16;29;23 - 00;16;49;09
Unknown
I got about, oh, it's only been 112 days. Yeah. Like, do I give myself or give you, the same grace I give myself, you know what I mean? Like, so, but it that's what I voted for. Yeah. You know, it's really what I voted for. Yeah. Likewise. Likewise. Yeah. It's neat that to see your involvement politically I watch a lot of your posts on X.

00;16;49;09 - 00;17;07;10
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah it's fun man. It's fun watching the watch. And that also your involvement in the nonprofit side tied in everything I know I know a lot of people talk about change. Yeah. And it's been neat seeing some of the work that you were able to go do. What was it was not intentional. I had I was taking a break.

00;17;07;10 - 00;17;25;18
Unknown
I basically just come off of like four survival videos in a row at my old job that, Mr. Beast. And so I used mostly survival content. So they're tough. I mean, they're real videos were really in a cave for seven days, were really on an island for seven days, and then the travel in between and all the just the work that goes into it, it's pretty exhausting.

00;17;25;18 - 00;17;46;14
Unknown
I mean, it's just an all in, type of deal. And so when they switch over to beast games, I was just gonna take some time off. I needed time off, and, Well, the hurricane hit, and so I was like, oh, the, Ryan Hall for the Ryan Hall, y'all, the weather guy on YouTube had called and said, I've got starlings.

00;17;46;16 - 00;18;01;22
Unknown
I know you're in the area. Could you help us get them out? And I'm like, well, I'm like five hours away. I'm a volunteer firefighter and wonderful. So. So let me just find out. Let me just see if we can get him up to the fire station up there. Well, nobody get over anybody up there. And so I called and said, hey, can I go up there?

00;18;01;22 - 00;18;16;10
Unknown
I go, you're volunteer. I mean, you're more welcome to go up on your own accord. And so I just told Ryan, I said, I'll, I'll meet you guys up there. So we drove up to Asheville. I took one day of clothes with me, told my wife, I'll be back. You know, I still prepped. I still took everything I needed to survive.

00;18;16;13 - 00;18;37;01
Unknown
I could have gone in disaster zone. Get up there. I'm two hours out and I'm like, this is. This is biblical. This is like a bomb went off and I'm not even there yet. Get out his Swannanoa Black mountain. And I'm like, oh Lord, I help these people. I mean that in my mind there's thousands dead. I mean, if you just can't explain it.

00;18;37;09 - 00;19;01;19
Unknown
Matter of fact, a senator I talked to after the storm said he was day one Fukushima, and he said the first time he's ever seen anything come close to that was, Hurricane Helene damage. Well, and so, I get to the airport and, gets a starlink's gets the first fire station, and realized everyone's overwhelmed me dropping off a new piece of technology and say, hey, figure it out isn't gonna work.

00;19;01;22 - 00;19;19;06
Unknown
And so I started setting them up, hooked up with United Cajun Navy. They had a helicopter. I needed a helicopter because I couldn't get past the river and gave them 20. They started setting up remote ones up in the mountains. I then took a list and started setting up and down the freeway the different churches and fire stations.

00;19;19;08 - 00;19;37;15
Unknown
And as we're doing it, we're just realizing, you know, it's like they're trying to set them up on gift cards. That doesn't work. It's a subscription service. So I'm trying to put my own credit card number in. And by the way, for people listening starlink's our, Elon Musk's, satellite internet. Yes. Yeah. Very needed piece of a technology.

00;19;37;15 - 00;19;55;22
Unknown
Yeah. And so but we're just running into some difficulties. Had to set up account every time. I don't know. I mean, these are strangers. Get my personal credit card on it. I tweet at or post at Elon like about 6000 followers on X, like you'll never see it. But maybe. And I was just like, God, please help us here.

00;19;55;22 - 00;20;11;06
Unknown
And I sent the tweet out and like, please make Starlink free for the disaster zone. Just make them turn them on to work because we got people who need heart medicine. It was just slowing things down. And then we're doing drone deliveries of baby food medicine like over the mountains, because you can't get a helicopter in these thick areas.

00;20;11;08 - 00;20;28;20
Unknown
And we're using Starlink to be able to communicate with the drones and whatnot. And, so I runs up there like, hey, hey, hey, Elon reposted you. I'm like, what? And I go to my phone, connect to the internet, and sure enough, my phone just, you know, just notification every location location he had read, repost and said, yeah, we'll make it free.

00;20;28;20 - 00;20;47;21
Unknown
We're working on it right now. Well, that basically told the whole world, hey, here's a guy on the ground with comms. And so all the news started finding who I was. And then, it just one thing led to another. We end up starting Operation Shelter. We've, put out. I remember how many RVs, how many truckloads a good Logan Paul.

00;20;47;23 - 00;21;02;27
Unknown
I was like, hey, we need drinks. And he sent me two semi trucks full of prime. Wow. And within like 9 or 10 hours. It was crazy. They drove them like straight from Kentucky or somewhere. I don't know how they got those trucks up these roads and they show up and we were like one bottle of water a day at that point.

00;21;02;29 - 00;21;22;17
Unknown
You know, Jack Link's delivered an entire semi-truck full of beef jerky. I can't imagine what a truckload of beef jerky cost, but. Yeah, but really, I was able to use social media to just do a lot more than I could by myself and, just realize, like, oh, okay. Like why? Like I'm trying to always wonder, like, how did I end up where I'm at?

00;21;22;17 - 00;21;43;01
Unknown
Like, why me lower? Like, why am I in these videos with millions, hundreds of millions of views? I'm like, oh my gosh, I can use this influence to help people. As I was it. I was just like, this is what I want to do. I want to keep doing this. That's great. You gained some significant influence from being involved with Mr. Beast and supporting some of his growth and just everything, everything tied into that.

00;21;43;01 - 00;22;06;00
Unknown
That's huge. And I know we had a conversation a few months ago regarding that. Right. Yeah. Already on your platform. Right. Like why why has God allowed you to be so. Well known in these in these circles? And it is to glorify him? 100 Glorify him. It's to be his hands and feet. It's to, it's to make a difference, in the kingdom and yet so many people take their own platform and use it for their own glory.

00;22;06;02 - 00;22;27;07
Unknown
Yeah, it's it's a drug. I mean, when people and it's it's intoxicating. And I get it. And I work with a lot of influencers. And when people worship you, you're like, ooh, I like this. And I like that people. And especially with with Mr. Beast, like, he changes people's lives. And, you know, if you could just meet him, he could change your life.

00;22;27;07 - 00;22;44;01
Unknown
He could just write you a check, you know? So there's even a different level of expectation from the audience. Yeah. So I watched him handle it and, and then myself, you know, just again, given the glory to God is the only way to protect yourself in it because you will very quickly usurp that power. Yeah. Here's like, you know what?

00;22;44;01 - 00;23;00;29
Unknown
Actually, why don't you just worship me? And, and so it is it is a dangerous place to be. But, you know, having a wife that keeps you grounded, you know, critical, like, my God. Oh, yeah. My life knows where to. Oh, yeah. Exactly where to hit. She even told me, like, when you're on the podcast, don't keep me in your mind.

00;23;00;29 - 00;23;23;21
Unknown
If I would say your name is Sean. She let the dog say, you know. Hey. Yeah. And so we just having, like, a solid, Bible believing Christian wife to keep me grounded also too. It's it's, you know, help me to steer back away from being drawn into that as just working all the time. And I definitely failed my family for years by being too involved in what was going on.

00;23;23;24 - 00;23;40;07
Unknown
And that was a big part of like realized I could use that, still be home and still use that influence to help build the kingdom. Was is like, okay, I need to figure this out, you know? Plus I need to be home for my kids. How long were you involved with Mr. Beast? But three years. So I did 100 days in a circle.

00;23;40;07 - 00;23;56;18
Unknown
Okay. Like. Yeah. Well, I want to ask, so how did you how did you get connected with them? Okay, so that was kind of funny story. How about a random subscriber. Right. You know, it's like, when they when they do videos, they're just looking for people that fit a mold that though the channel that are subscribers, you know, they legitimately are looking for fans.

00;23;56;20 - 00;24;19;14
Unknown
And by the way, Mr. B's, how big of a platform is if he's getting close to 400 million subscribers, right. Yeah. So what I just watched person in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Well, by ours. Yeah. It's like it's it's insane. But, so a friend of mine went to work for him and, you know, they said, hey, we're looking for this type of person, looking for, you know, looking for some projects.

00;24;19;14 - 00;24;38;13
Unknown
They had to go on, and I get a call. I'm in Oklahoma, build my farm in Oklahoma, and he's like, hey, this is Jason. I'm like, oh, hey, that's great to hear from you. He's like, I got a project. I need you to come help me. I'm like, oh, I can't manage this headless, this nightmare of this metal getting stolen from the building I'm building.

00;24;38;14 - 00;24;56;23
Unknown
I'm just too busy. I can't help you. He's like, oh, hang on, hang on. My boss wants to talk to you. And, he's like, hey, it's Mr. Beast. I got a I got a project I need your help on. And, Mike, I'm great. I still don't care. I'm too busy, but. Hey, Mike, I gotta put you on the phone.

00;24;56;23 - 00;25;12;06
Unknown
My kids, you know. Can I let you talk to my kids? He's like, yeah, put me on the phone with your kids. So I walk in first and my kids are like this, a joke. Like, his dad got Mr. Beast on his cell phone. And right out of his first things I was about. Hey, kids, I need you to bowl your dad and to come in helping me.

00;25;12;08 - 00;25;29;09
Unknown
So because my kid's like, you gotta go help Mr. Beast. You know, I was like, wow, that was a good trick there. And so I come out, I'm not really sure what's going on. More, you do some projects with, kind of get to know him. They're always asking me questions about survivalist. Like, what would you consider? You know, they're just.

00;25;29;12 - 00;25;51;07
Unknown
I might spend a lot of time with him. And to me, it doesn't make sense, because I don't understand the game. And so after some time together, they pull me in a room on a Monday, I walk in, Jason's like, did you say yes? I'm like to what is? Oh, never mind, never mind. And so I walk in a room, I sit down the director and like, hey, we want to put you in a circle for 100 days.

00;25;51;11 - 00;26;04;03
Unknown
I can't tell you anything else about it. You got to say yes or no. I'm like, no, what are you talking about? It can't be in a circle for 100 days. How big? The circles that have air conditioning is, are food like, where is it at? Could I see my kid? You know, there's like, so many questions like.

00;26;04;04 - 00;26;18;16
Unknown
Yeah, we can't tell anything about it. And, I was like, I really can't. I mean, why would I agree to that? And he's like, oh, it's like, oh, if you stay 100 days, we're going to have $1 million. I'm like, you should probably lead with that. It's a big piece of the the equation. I'm like, I gotta talk to my wife.

00;26;18;16 - 00;26;43;15
Unknown
I don't know, you know. So I call her, she's like, yeah, I'll do it. Which I was like, who is this? You sure? Like, am I talking to my wife? You know, she doesn't like change. And so, but, I signed up for it and, sure enough, they'd put me in a circle kind of field. And I lived there for 100 days, and, that was where, where was a certain North Carolina, North Carolina, out behind the studio.

00;26;43;22 - 00;26;56;26
Unknown
Okay. And so I was like, the he'd be like, I got an old guy in a circle on a field. You want to go see him? You know, it was just. I'd be out there and some guys would just walk into the circle of, like, I'd found out later that it was like some huge investor, you know, some famous guy that I had no clue.

00;26;56;26 - 00;27;12;03
Unknown
I didn't ever meet him in person. And I'd just, like, walk around my house existing. So, yeah, that's kind of there was no, was there? So I got love. I have I heard the full story on this thing. So you were in the circle. Was there a tent? What what was so the house. So you ever seen the video?

00;27;12;03 - 00;27;30;11
Unknown
So, yeah, I had 60ft circle on a field. Red circle just painted red. If I touch the circle, I'm out. I lose the money. Doesn't matter if it's day 99.5. I walk into the circle. I'm like, I can't survive here. There's nothing here, you know? And he's like, nothing yet. And sure enough, they start a crane up.

00;27;30;12 - 00;27;43;11
Unknown
They pull a tarp when there's a tiny house on a crane. I know you can move tiny houses with cranes. I guess it makes sense. But if they could drive them across a field either. And so they drive this house across a field, drop in the circle. It's got basically the things I need to survive for a hundred days.

00;27;43;14 - 00;27;58;22
Unknown
I just can't leave the circle. Pretty straightforward challenge. You know, it's not survivor, man or anything like that. I got to manage my calories, which is harder than I originally thought because there's a lot of calories. But it was a lot of junk, right? I was like, I can't eat a jar of jelly, right? And so, and not a lot to do.

00;27;58;22 - 00;28;14;15
Unknown
So it's just a lot of. So no technology. No. Yeah. No tech. No. It was like I could watch TV, you know. And so I had a, I had like I could had a mic like this, I could hit a button and be like, hey, the forest is on fire. Because that actually did happen. The 4th of July, the woods caught fire.

00;28;14;17 - 00;28;36;23
Unknown
And I was like telling the security guard like, hey, let's not let that burn me a line in the circle. Like, I can't leave this circle. Yeah, dude, I yeah, it's so but I had if I got hurt, I was being watched 24 seven, which was a whole nother day. The first two days were the most brutal. I got in there and then realized I have a massive fear of failure.

00;28;36;25 - 00;28;54;14
Unknown
And if I failed this, it would be in the most public way possible. So my quitting brain went to if you quit right now, then nobody will know, right? And I'm like, oh yeah, should just walk away. But I had to give myself a good reason. Like, oh, there's too much salt in the food. You know, they're going to play tricks on me.

00;28;54;14 - 00;29;08;22
Unknown
They're gonna make me look like an idiot, you know? So all this quitting mind stuff kicked in, and I was like. And luckily, I'd read David Goggins book and recognized the quitting mind and recognized for what it was and turned it off. And as soon as I walked in, like day three, like you did, the drag Me out of the circle has done.

00;29;08;22 - 00;29;23;12
Unknown
I was once I committed, I did a go ruck years ago and my buddy told me he's like, this pain is temporary, but if you quit, you'll regret it forever. He's like, your kids are going to be there at the finish line, either going to walk across and do what you said you're going to do, or you got to go home a quitter.

00;29;23;14 - 00;29;36;11
Unknown
I was like, oof! And so I was like, realized there's two sides of that fear for the circle as I'd like to be known as. Oh, your dad's the one that lost the Mr. Beast video. Or your dad's the one that won the Mr. Beast video. And I always tell my kids, like we do what we say we're going to do.

00;29;36;11 - 00;29;51;25
Unknown
And so I told him I'd stay 100 days, and I stayed a hundred days. But. Yeah. So the challenge really was just boredom. Yeah, they did some stuff to me to make it harder along the way, but, but yeah, I lived at 400. I ever walked outside that red circle. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, but it was it was wild.

00;29;51;25 - 00;30;11;05
Unknown
The video comes out and you're like, you don't realize it. You're no longer private person. I'm walking to the airport after the video came out and not even 40, 50ft into the airport, there's a guy pushing a stroller. Two kids, like, we just watched you in the video. I'm like, interesting. Okay, cool. I can we take a picture?

00;30;11;05 - 00;30;28;01
Unknown
I'm like, yeah, if you I mean, if you want, you know, you don't feel like you're you should be taking pictures of people you just don't realize. But it just everything changed. And I was like, oh, life is going to be different now. So. And it just would continue to be there. But that was the first video I did with him, and it was it was quite, quite a learning, quite the on the job training.

00;30;28;08 - 00;30;50;09
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. And then you ended up taking a role with them. Yeah. So, we went to work with him afterwards, moved out there and just did it just kind of went from a position position to the company. And, being is in post-production for a while, built that up. First thing I do when I get into a role like that is I'm usually a fixer, right?

00;30;50;09 - 00;31;08;20
Unknown
I'm not a manager. And so I find somebody who's way better at it than I am. Get them in, get them a great integrator. The culture. Set the expectations and then let them do way better than I ever could with that department. And so I did that with a few different things, and then ended up being his chief of staff, which basically just running his team and his life for the last part of my time there.

00;31;08;20 - 00;31;31;16
Unknown
Plus appearing in a handful of videos along we went. It was an amazing experience and it's a phenomenal company and I learned a ton. Be in there. But it was, it was just too much as in a company's slowing down. I mean, they just got two more seasons of beast games. I mean, it's just blowing up and I'm just looking at it going, I can't be the husband and father I need to be and be who I need to be.

00;31;31;17 - 00;31;51;07
Unknown
What this company needs, right? The expectations that I need to be able to with the travel all over the world, like I got to pick one or the other, you know. So it was tough. And I just realized that any position there, I just needed time to come back and make up for the two years. I was just, you know, going for it.

00;31;51;07 - 00;32;11;00
Unknown
And it was always felt like, oh, just six more months, just six more months. It's never going to slow down. No, that's a rocket ship over there and they're just crushing it. And so I was just like, Welp, time to get off the ship. So but it's a tough choice and it's tough to, I mean, to walk away from arguably one of most valuable media brands on the planet and go, oh, just go do something else, you know?

00;32;11;00 - 00;32;30;03
Unknown
So but it was the right thing. The right thing for my family. Yeah. We talk about the four pillars, right? Faith, family, fitness, finance. So it's, it sounds like, your priorities were in line. Yeah, yeah, that sounds I that's a very difficult thing to do. And that's what, there's there's guys listening to this call right now or listening to this podcast that are wondering, like, man, my business is consuming me.

00;32;30;03 - 00;32;48;20
Unknown
Yeah, right. They're working 12, 14 hour or sometimes 16 hours a day. They're working at night, they're working early in the morning. They're just consuming themselves to make something happen. And that can be okay for a season. I liken it to, like, glass and a rubber ball. Right. So, marriage is a, or business is a rubber ball, right?

00;32;48;20 - 00;33;08;20
Unknown
That'll always bounce back. And, All right, marriage relationships are a glass ball. You you neglect that thing too long and drop it. That thing will shatter and be permanently damaged. Put it back together. No. You can't. And so it's, There's always another business. I always know the job. They'll always be another opportunity. And this is what, it's what we put our identity right.

00;33;08;20 - 00;33;31;27
Unknown
And you do start to find it. It's mean especially is for what I was doing. I mean it's an awesome identity right. It's a cool thing to be known as. Yeah. And so, it's it's like I said, it's addictive and, and you, but you just have to recognize that your kids don't care end of the day.

00;33;31;29 - 00;33;48;13
Unknown
Or what? What you do for a living, right? They just want. Dad. Who are you? Yeah, you gotta provide. You know, like you said, there may be seasons of hard work, and. Yeah, and that's what dads do, but, But the next. I mean, my kids are all getting to that eight, 11, 16, eight year old. You know, we're at the end of it here.

00;33;48;14 - 00;34;06;27
Unknown
They're all heading out. This is what they need a father figure the most. In my mind, these formative years, especially at 18, that I'm going to do this. The 16 to 18 I think is massive, especially for our kids, and was like, cause be gone. You know, while they learned what it is to be an adult, like, no, I there's no, no, no business.

00;34;06;27 - 00;34;23;27
Unknown
I can walk away from that. There's no business on earth that's worth that. You kids don't care what the net worth you leave them is. You know, if you weren't there, like, yeah, well, at least he left me money when he died. Too bad I know him, you know? Nobody wants that. No, no, no, that's the challenge.

00;34;23;27 - 00;35;03;24
Unknown
The thing is balancing, right? Balancing all of it. There's no such thing as perfect balance. However, however, that intentionality has been critical. It's something that I've, Wright been so focused on is how do I how do I get it all in right? How do I still how do I grow ruck right. The organization that's making a massive impact about how do I not and how do I not let my ministry and impact overtake my responsibilities as a father, because it's very easy for people involved in any type of nonprofit work or ministry work, or when everybody outside appreciate you and loads on the yeah, adaptations and oh, you're so great, you come home.

00;35;03;24 - 00;35;21;07
Unknown
Do you have a real relationship with people that's tough and messy. Of course. It's like, oh, all these people just love me. Yeah, and I'm doing it so much easier. I have to go perform in business and to go play with a charity. I didn't go home and do it. The hard stuff and and being staying busy is a drug, you know, and it's a good way to run from anxiety.

00;35;21;07 - 00;35;36;05
Unknown
And stress is like, I'm always busy. I always say if I stay busy that I can't think about stuff, you know? And so, it's just a, it's a just like anything else, like, oh, I drink to get my mind clear. It's a way of sedating. Exactly. Yeah. So, as any of you find out, that it's never enough.

00;35;36;07 - 00;35;52;22
Unknown
Yeah. You just gotta stay busy, busy, busy. And as the stuff gets worse at home because you're staying busy, well, then you're going to. You're going to treat that by staying away even more. And it's just going to keep getting worse and worse until it shatters. And once it's shattered it's too late. Yep. So yeah. Damage damage done.

00;35;52;25 - 00;36;14;26
Unknown
What is what would you say your vision is now? Say you're. So you're done with you're done with the raw, Mr. Beast, and. Yeah, I'm curious. What what are you working on? So working on the farm, I my wife's put her dreams on hold for years for me. You know, she's sitting at home waiting while I gallivant around the world, and her farm's 1600 miles away.

00;36;14;28 - 00;36;33;21
Unknown
And so I really want to focus on getting her back to what I started with her years ago. Get us back to what she enjoys. You know, it's her life to shine. It's so much time here together and so to get that the focus in on that. So be building roads, build in ponds, clearing land. We're getting ready.

00;36;33;21 - 00;36;59;08
Unknown
Put the house in. So that's a big, big priority. Get that settle, get her on the farm and get everybody, like, anchor for the first time in our 21 years, it's like, practically been a military family as much as we move. And, and so get anchored, getting simplified. But, also to want to keep doing, outreach work, Liver King reached out to me and said, hey, I want to start a foundation.

00;36;59;10 - 00;37;16;15
Unknown
I've seen what you've been doing. Actually met him randomly at UFC 2.99. You know, and I was up there with, Jimmy and Logan Paul turned around there. He was like, oh, Liver Kings went took a picture with him. James exchanged numbers. Did a barbarian went down to his ranch in Texas. Did a barbarian, which is a brutal.

00;37;16;20 - 00;37;40;00
Unknown
Yeah. What is it? Barbaric. Barbarian is 270 pound kettlebells, 70 pounds in a backpack, 120 pounds on a sled, 20 pound ankle weights and drag it a mile down a dirt road. It is to me three hours to go a mile. And he did it with my eyes. The I've done some hard endurance type stuff. That was the most brutal.

00;37;40;02 - 00;38;03;15
Unknown
We came out to North Carolina once who's traveling? All families worked out together and said, oh, we should work together someday. On my arm, Mr. Beast, this is my last job, you know, was in the middle of that, you know, and, saw that I basically stepped down and left and reached out and said, hey, I got this thing called the Barbarian Foundation, and I really don't, you know, trying to form what it's going to be.

00;38;03;15 - 00;38;21;10
Unknown
I know I want to take care of, people, help people, mental health give men young. It's very much align what you guys do giving young men purpose. Just help me. Help me figure out what it's going to be. And so put a nice chunk of change into the bank account and said, let's, let's go with this.

00;38;21;12 - 00;38;37;18
Unknown
And so I'm trying to doing that. Plus the farm. So I was just working as a help inform what this fundraiser could be. You know the hardest things with charity is kind of that getting that first 0 to 1. Yeah. And here's a guy call you on the phone going, I'm going to take you from 0 to 1 real quick.

00;38;37;18 - 00;38;56;01
Unknown
Yep. And you know, it's a lot of, creative freedom with it. And we both have the same, desire of, of helping men, succeed. And, you know, great. Like I said, I don't have it. It's not fully formed out yet. Yeah. Let me know what anyway, I can support. Yeah, I think we're on this again.

00;38;56;01 - 00;39;18;07
Unknown
Similar mission 100% can impact with man creating freedom as strongly in a strong family. Strong families make strong communities as in. And that's what makes a strong nation. And so, and it's it, it's I can say, well, I would just get going on that. So yeah, there's some set, some sort of nonprofit, work that's but right now it's going to be Barbarian Foundation and then the farm.

00;39;18;07 - 00;39;37;07
Unknown
That's really what I'm trying to focus on. We have some businesses. We have privately, my wife runs a pawn shop, and then we have, you know, our farm. So it's just kind of simplifying down to just that and nothing else. So I have a question. What what would you say is, has most formed you as, as a, as a kid.

00;39;37;07 - 00;39;57;05
Unknown
Like what was what would what formed you as a kid and then what formed you the most as an adult? Who as a kid, my dad leaving when I was five, like, set the stage, but I was a fortunate one who had a really amazing stepdad come in. So who formed me as a kid? If I, as a kid, I told you was my real dad.

00;39;57;08 - 00;40;11;29
Unknown
But as an adult, looking back, I know it was my stepdad, right? He's the one that taught me to high, taught me to fish, taught me to do what I say I was going to do. You know what I mean? Like that's the one who really? For me. Yeah. I was raised in the church. But I don't.

00;40;12;03 - 00;40;30;25
Unknown
I never really heard the gospel as a kid. I just like it was like a bunch of rules and more fear of hell than love of God. Like, honestly, to be kind of. I least I'm not a I'm not that terrible of a person, you know? So, and then as an adult, it was here in the gospel for the first time.

00;40;30;27 - 00;40;48;08
Unknown
Just sitting in church in Santa Clarita, California, and feeling like for like two, eight weeks straight, preacher through the Gospel of Luke that the pastor was only talking to me and like, for the first time ever, I really heard I just woke up one Sunday morning going to church, and years since I left the house had told my wife was like, we'll go to church today.

00;40;48;09 - 00;41;13;18
Unknown
She's like, oh my gosh, she's been praying for it, you know? And so, but then just for the last 20 something years, just trying to turn away from sin and, and, you know, you do a pretty terrible job outside of Christ and just repent and, and try to, grow more like him. But that that formation was never it.

00;41;13;19 - 00;41;34;11
Unknown
There was another phase in my early 40s, 300 pounds out of shape, you know, couldn't even hardly get health insurance like pre-diabetic hypertension. And what transform me my like second phase was I got the gospel, but I was just like I was a victim, rather a victim of everything. You know, my brother, I lost my brother at 18.

00;41;34;11 - 00;41;54;01
Unknown
Killed himself. The victim my dad left. I'm a victim, you know. Well, I'm overweight. Well, I just got slow metabolism, played a lot of video games, you know, just would sit and ignore my family. But zoning out of video games every night, you know, just completely failing my wife and then realizing that, like the in the book, there's a mirror of accountability.

00;41;54;01 - 00;42;11;18
Unknown
And it's like all the stuff that's going wrong in your life. That's the can't hurt me book. Yeah. He's like, write on the mirror and hold yourself accountable. You are fat because the fork you put in your own mouth, your marriage is not good because you're not putting the effort in, you know, like do the work, take ownership.

00;42;11;18 - 00;42;35;09
Unknown
I think taking ownership needed confidence. And a buddy of mine had invited me out to go Rock, which is like, endurance hike is 286 pounds, is trying to get in shape as he think I could do this is like, yeah, 100% no shot should have been there. And I did that and I got through it. I mean, it broke me, but I got through it, you know, I could my hip flexors were shot for three weeks, literally go up down the stairs.

00;42;35;16 - 00;42;50;11
Unknown
But I got through it. Even the harder it was, like, I saw you. I was like, there's no way this after this goes after the initial session at the beginning of the event, he's like, you're on the hood of your truck. He goes, you're just getting the strength to open the door, getting leave. But my buddy, again, iron sharpens iron.

00;42;50;12 - 00;43;06;26
Unknown
I was I didn't have anybody in my life, in my Christian life who was holding me accountable. So I was just between me and the pastor on Sunday mornings. I didn't have other men around me until my 40s. And his name was Matt. He's a, active duty Air Force, and he's like, yeah, come do this with me, you know?

00;43;06;26 - 00;43;23;28
Unknown
And we met through church, and all of a sudden I realized, like, guys, we have to be in community together. We have to hold each other accountable. You know, you just doing this on your own, you're always going to slide back into it and make no progress. But he was one is Tony is like, you know, you're going to be, you know, quit and regret it forever.

00;43;23;28 - 00;43;42;01
Unknown
You to cross the finish line. And he's like, I will carry you if I have to. We're going to cross the finish line together. But that's the power of having men around us to hold us accountable. And so that that kind of this third phase I'm in now is just recognized when the iron sharpens iron and having a brotherhood and community, of holding each other accountable.

00;43;42;01 - 00;44;00;13
Unknown
And I think that's something that I wish I'd had at 18 a who knows. But that's that's how life is. It just slow and hard headed. Takes time to learn. Yeah. Some longer than others, right? Yeah. For for me too, man is beautiful message. That's pretty wild. So you were. You were 280 pounds when you went to the go Rock.

00;44;00;13 - 00;44;15;19
Unknown
Okay. Yeah. Two 8686. Yeah. I got a great picture of me just standing there like, dead after battery. It was the best meal I ever had in my life. After going to sit down and eating, you know, and you're in great shape. You're killing it right now. I a long ways to go, but you know how it is.

00;44;15;19 - 00;44;36;05
Unknown
Yeah. The last 20 pounds is always the worst, but, But yeah, I know I can I, much better health. I feel. I mean, I couldn't even stand up if I squatted down. I couldn't even stand up without, like, you know, crawling back up. Wow. And this is four years ago. Now I can squat 500 pounds well enough for something.

00;44;36;06 - 00;45;04;06
Unknown
But, I mean, like, just a world of difference of of what you can achieve. It's, It's wild, though, how our our past can have such a heavy influence on our future. Right. You talk about the victim mentality. Yeah. And we do we deal with that a lot. And I have those conversations directly with the guys at Rock, because there's a lot of guys that have had a past, a trauma, hurt, pain, things that are things that have happened, right, that have created that mindset that, that, that now plays into relationships.

00;45;04;13 - 00;45;24;05
Unknown
Right? They're victim to their wife. That's why. Yeah, a victim to everything. And then you treat it. You treat it with. Yeah. Food. Yeah. Porn, drugs, alcohol staying busy. Yeah. Which I want to because a lot of your audience probably struggle to stay busy more than anything. Yeah. You know, but it's like me. And stay busy playing video games, you know, just not engaging with it.

00;45;24;06 - 00;45;46;08
Unknown
You're right. It's. Yeah, it's I'd say it's one of the core mindset issues that really it zaps the power out of a man. Absolutely. Like it just rips the power. And so when a guy can step into his, way, a guy can step into his power. Is is like you talked about taking ownership and realizing that we I have a responsibility over our lives that other people do not have.

00;45;46;08 - 00;46;04;24
Unknown
So we are God's given us. He's given us the reins. And he said, here you go. Hopefully you're going to build a life that glorifies me, but you have the reins, right? Right. And so life's not happening to you. It's happening for you. So find a way to go. Make life happen for you. You're responsible for making life happen for you.

00;46;04;24 - 00;46;27;03
Unknown
Also, God's in ultimate control the results. But man, we have so much influence. We have so much power to shift results and circumstances in our lives. The, yeah, the definition of power is the ability to influence the people and the circumstances around us. So the more power someone has, the more influence they have over entire circumstances.

00;46;27;03 - 00;46;46;08
Unknown
Think of Trump. Yeah, the ability to influence world circumstances. So that's he's at the top right of that, of that power threshold. Yeah. And so we gain power as we realize that, hey man, I have to take control over my life. There's nobody else. Well, well. And when you are a victim, you've given that power to everyone else.

00;46;46;15 - 00;47;04;09
Unknown
You're powerless. So why would you change? It's not your fault. Yeah, it's not your fault. You're overweight and the processed foods are hard to stop eating. You know, it's not your fault that your wife isn't loved because you play eight hours of video games a day. You're, I mean, she she just doesn't appreciate you. It's always somebody else's fault.

00;47;04;15 - 00;47;21;12
Unknown
Somebody else could change. And until you look yourself in the mirror and go, I have the power to change all that. But once you take ownership, you also take ownership of the outcome. Yeah. And that's the scary part. Like I'm going to go push in on this now. It's my fault if it doesn't work. And it's it's a hard pill to swallow.

00;47;21;12 - 00;47;44;00
Unknown
And we will do a lot to to hide to mediocrity. Yeah. So I think that's where raising our boys, is such a, being intentional with developing a responsible mindset. Yeah, it's really critical. And that's, some time I'm spending with Brandon and Jeremiah right now is finding ways to develop that. Like, I want them to take ownership and responsibility over their life.

00;47;44;00 - 00;48;02;01
Unknown
And so it's, yeah, figuring out creative ways to make that happen. They'll build confidence, even just like a simple stuff like I've always made my kids or their own food. It sounds so simple. Yeah. Like they're like, okay, I'd kind of get a cheeseburger. Like, I don't work here. Yeah, no, it's little stuff. Having them interact and we homeschool, so we have a bit of an advantage.

00;48;02;03 - 00;48;16;28
Unknown
But, like, I make our kids do something with the business. You know, my daughter has a freeze dried candy business. And the first day. Hey, we talked to buy some fresh eye candy. Not on sugar. So, you know, next person said no. Third person said no. She's in here. So God don't want to do this. They keep trying.

00;48;16;28 - 00;48;31;29
Unknown
Like you're going to get a sell at some point, you know, keep trying. You tried. Fifth person comes along, buys like four bags. She looks just like instant shift, but she push through something. Now she goes and does the sales with us at the shows. She's slinging the left and right. You just like it should be doing that.

00;48;31;29 - 00;48;47;28
Unknown
She'd done it like six times. And now she's a pro and we're getting our kids to push through that. Those nose. Look at that fear of how people think of them, you know? And the more we can get them into those situations, because if you wait till 18 and turn them loose, they'll figure out their own world's gonna eat them alive.

00;48;48;00 - 00;49;07;18
Unknown
And so creating those, like I say, creating those opportunities while they're under our care to have success, get confidence and understand they are powerful. You know, they can do things. It's but it's, it takes a lot of intentionality and time. And I definitely could have done a lot better at it. But, hey, you know, I've done what I've done with the years I've had, and hopefully they turn out good.

00;49;07;18 - 00;49;25;24
Unknown
So, yeah. Now, I met your, your son. He's a, he's a very, intellectual guy. Yeah. It is. Yeah. See, I ask him good questions. Yeah, it's like, I, I it's like I teach my kids to, push against, authority. Yeah. And challenge. Well, he was he. Yeah. He was the one that that question to me.

00;49;25;24 - 00;49;37;28
Unknown
Right. They tell you about that? Oh, yeah. Okay, I believe I believe that was him in one of our sessions. I tell one session, okay, I don't usually teach at the Crucible, but I want I want to be more involved in some of the different events so they get a chance to. I get a chance to connect with that with the group.

00;49;38;00 - 00;49;53;13
Unknown
And so, yeah, I was teaching on, on purpose and actually on victim on Victor. Okay, cool. And he, he asked who he was pushing against. He was pushing against the grain on some stuff, but not saying he was a victim, but he's like, well, how does this work that if this was to happen, what about this?

00;49;53;13 - 00;50;15;08
Unknown
And so that's, well, what's interesting is that people's, the way they think and the way they process. So it's interesting that you're, you're you're training them, that way. So people either they either go, they either go with the flow or against the flow. Yeah. And that's the way people's mind works. And so I'll meet people where when they look at something, they'll, they can tell you everything that's wrong with it.

00;50;15;12 - 00;50;29;16
Unknown
Yeah. And then some of the people will say, hey, this is everything that it looks beautiful about it and is working with it, you know, so it's real interesting and so and you can train it. But a lot of times it's just up your person's. It's how you wire. You're just used to seeing like what could be better.

00;50;29;19 - 00;50;43;24
Unknown
And some people say hey, well that's the that's a great part of what it is. And so it's either against the grain or with the grain thinking. And neither one of them is, right. We just have to be aware of what our style is. And knowing that crap, I'm the I'm the guy that might critique a lot of things.

00;50;43;27 - 00;51;00;14
Unknown
We shot our proposal off to, not a proposal. A program we were going to do, with a guy, and we shot it over, and he just ripped the thing apart. Not even one notice of what? Like what was right in it. It was just. Yeah, I don't like this. I would have done this differently. I wouldn't wear it that way.

00;51;00;14 - 00;51;16;23
Unknown
The whole thing was all critique. And I'm like, okay, I know the way this guy thinks. Yeah, yeah, he's against the grain. Think he was going to rip things apart. And so his his opportunity for growth is find a learning to find the things that do work right and seeing things that do work and being able to shift back and forth.

00;51;16;25 - 00;51;21;15
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. What,

00;51;21;17 - 00;51;38;20
Unknown
What are your thoughts on, as we start to, as we start to wrap up? And I appreciate you getting vulnerable with sharing your the story with the story with your, with your dad. We run into, surprisingly, a lot of guys that have had challenges with their dad. Either the dad wasn't present right, took off or just was very it was very disconnected.

00;51;38;21 - 00;52;01;07
Unknown
Wasn't very disconnected, dad. And so, which I'm sure also has, it just play it plays a role into who we are. And there's usually a, there's so much learning around, around, around that. And so, so that was, what would you say is the most difficult thing that you've gone through? Oh, losing my brother 100%.

00;52;01;09 - 00;52;22;19
Unknown
And I came in. It's been 20 plus years, and it still be hard to talk about, but, getting a phone call at work and saying your brother killed himself. That's earth shattering, you know? And that's honestly probably what kicked me into stay busy mode. And honestly, honestly, it was what I ran out of run from that for 20 plus years.

00;52;22;21 - 00;52;40;04
Unknown
Terrified of becoming that. You know, my dad drank himself to death, in a few years after that because of what it did to him. You know, he left, he took big ownership. And this is your stepdad or my relative that. Yeah. My biological dad. And so, you know, you leave the kids, you run off to chase your dreams.

00;52;40;04 - 00;52;57;04
Unknown
He ran off to chase his dreams of being a rockstar. And, one of your kids kills himself, and you take some ownership, and it it sent him over the edge. And so we just had this fear that, like, you know, that could be me. What keeps me from, like, what's going to make me snap, you know?

00;52;57;04 - 00;53;16;00
Unknown
So, but it's, it's definitely been a big catalyst. What kept me busy, you know, kept me always entertained. My wife's going to be like. Yeah, exactly. I'm glad you're saying it out loud. But it's just it just forms who you are and how you deal with trauma. And, that's the worst thing I've ever experienced.

00;53;16;00 - 00;53;36;07
Unknown
And, I'd see my mom go through it. But, you know, the thing, even the hurricane going up in the hurricane and seeing people who had lost kids and seeing their grief just ripped me open again, you know, because that's like I'm seeing I've been there. Like, it's one of the things we say, I don't know what you're going through.

00;53;36;10 - 00;53;55;02
Unknown
I know what you're going through. Yeah. You know, you just had somebody taken unexpectedly in un unfairly, you know? And so, but yeah, that's step by far the hardest thing. But, it's, it's something I've probably I don't, I don't think there's ever like, oh, I'm 80. I finally got over it. I just don't think it was.

00;53;55;06 - 00;54;15;02
Unknown
It's just too much. It's too shocking to be something you ever get fully over. Yeah. You'll never be able to experience somebody else's pain until you've experienced your own pain in that same way. Yeah. Like that's the deal. I went through a real challenging month of depression. Pretty serious month of depression. Yeah, because I had some of those thoughts.

00;54;15;02 - 00;54;31;01
Unknown
I had some thoughts that I would go crazy. And that was like, what would send me over the edge? I watched your video on that. Yeah, yeah. So that was that was the thing that like tied in, I was never, never able to connect with my sister on her anxiety until that, until I experienced that and like, oh, shoot, that's what it feels like.

00;54;31;01 - 00;55;07;24
Unknown
So your empathy. Right. Really, you can only operate within sympathy if you've never experienced something significant or a similar loss. And so empathy allows you to really tap in to just a whole nother level of depth with another human being. And so I feel like it's it gives you another level of power, having gone through something so difficult allows you to really connect with human beings at a different level, like there's depth to you when you go, when you've gone through some of these things, people that haven't dealt with significant loss or anything difficult, really difficult there.

00;55;07;27 - 00;55;26;00
Unknown
There's a fairly shallow nature to them. Not no judgment, just have an experience. You have a you don't have an you just don't have that depth. That's it. Yeah. That's like my oldest son who was just here. Trevor. He said, dad, these guys were sharing the stories. He's like, I couldn't really connect. I'm like, why? He's like, he goes, well, I got.

00;55;26;00 - 00;56;01;12
Unknown
I realized how privileged I've been. He's like, I don't have these terrible stories. He goes, I just didn't didn't hit me the same way. Was like, it's not a bad think, you know? Yeah. But I'm glad you recognize that there is a different experience for them because what they have gone through, I don't want him to ever experience what I had to go through, you know, and a lot of part of I just kept me, kept not keep me, keep an eye on was even when you feel depressed and even when you feel just that, like that desire to give up, you've seen what it does.

00;56;01;12 - 00;56;15;22
Unknown
You don't. When you kill yourself, you don't end the pain, you transfer it. So anybody out there that's thinking that, just know that we.

00;56;15;24 - 00;56;38;05
Unknown
We carry it for the rest of our life. And so, just knowing that, I hopefully can tell that to people who are in that position and recognize that whatever it is, it's worth fixing, because what you're going to put on your family isn't curable. Like we will carry on 20 or 20, 25 years later. And look, I'm sitting here choking up over it.

00;56;38;08 - 00;57;04;01
Unknown
That's what it does. So but yeah, that's by far the most impactful, obviously the most impactful thing that ever happened to me. I've never wished on anybody. It is a a terrible thing. What do you think. What do you think has kept you pushing through, pushing through that, that depression, the challenges, the pain. And what role has God played in all this.

00;57;04;03 - 00;57;18;19
Unknown
Well, for me it's easy to put in a box and hide it away until I talk about it and I'm like, oh my gosh, can you talk? Yeah. And so most of it's packaged away and forget about it. Yeah. Right. And yeah. And don't pretend I don't have any issues. That's real. Yeah I appreciate that. Say busy right.

00;57;18;21 - 00;57;40;08
Unknown
Like pack it away in a box. Stay so busy, you forget the boxes in the closet and then every once in a while, you go like, oh, what's in here? Wrecked, you know? And so, but the scripture just this is a dot. This existence is a dot in our timeline of eternity. Yeah, right. And we don't want to live for the die, right?

00;57;40;08 - 00;58;02;17
Unknown
This little moment in time, we will live for eternity. Push! For we were perfect father, perfect king. Eternal life with him restored. And a new earth like knowing that. And on his his mercy is infinite. I don't know where my brother was when he died, you know. I mean, I'm not going to pretend I know where he is, you know?

00;58;02;19 - 00;58;23;04
Unknown
But I also know that I don't it's I don't know one way or the other, but, and then having just knowing that, seeing the pain that separate to the biggest mistake I think I've made last 20 years was just never dealing with it. Right? Just keeping it packed away. And I think it's it, it's it's okay for it to hurt.

00;58;23;06 - 00;58;41;04
Unknown
It's normal. But just my dad ran from it with alcohol, and that lasted about four years. Me died, you know? So, like, me is probably food. Food and and laziness of just, like, staying busy. It used to be laziness. Playing video games, too. And busy. Yeah. Then I switched that to like things that people appreciated.

00;58;41;05 - 00;59;02;28
Unknown
And I was like, oh, I'm not do anything bad anymore. I'm just staying busy, being productive versus being busy, being nonproductive, you know? And so, but talking about it more, I think this was this opportunity with Barbarian Foundation was so appealing to me because like, honestly, it's making me deal with it because I'm talking to people about stuff like this and I can't be like, well, I got, I don't got anything to talk about, you know?

00;59;03;00 - 00;59;20;29
Unknown
So I'm constantly faced with it. And we're talking about these clinical programs. We want to help people with a PTSD and and depression and giving people purpose. And young men drive. And I'm thinking like, well, if I should go through it myself, you know, what am you know. And so, but yeah, it's just, it just I boxed it up.

00;59;20;29 - 00;59;40;03
Unknown
And that's a good self-defense mechanism. Yeah, but it's a good protection. It's a good exit from the emotional pain. Yeah. It's not an effective strategy. But what is the cost to boxing it up. Yeah. Is it alcohol is drugs. Is it businesses or whatever. Right. And it's not put it at the foot of the cross. Right. And surrendering it and saying like, God, you're I know this is in your perfect plan.

00;59;40;03 - 01;00;00;24
Unknown
That's hard. That's hard to say. I had very many, many years very angry with God after that is a reset. Stop going to church like done, you know, just became an angry person. And so but the gospel brought me back. So. So what it does. Yeah. Ma'am. Beautiful. Thanks for, Yeah, thanks for getting real on that.

01;00;00;24 - 01;00;23;01
Unknown
There's. I'm sure that resonated and hit home. Yeah. With some people watching this and listen, hopefully. Yeah. Never worth it. Yeah. All right man. Well, if we're to close out with something, what would you say? What would you want to leave the listeners with as far as one life lesson that has been most impactful to you.

01;00;23;01 - 01;00;42;27
Unknown
So you've you've been around a lot of influencers. You've done a lot. You've had, a great life experience. What's one life lesson that you're like, you know, what if if this is something I could have done or what have I differently or I'm focused on doing now, what would you want to leave them with? I think, recognizing comparisons, the thief of joy.

01;00;43;00 - 01;01;09;26
Unknown
Right. Just getting competing with yourself. You're don't. There's no matter what somebody else's homestead looks like. Doesn't matter what some else's business looks like. Understand what you're doing, get 1% better, compete with yourself and just get better against yourself over and over. And that's the bar. And there's no other bar matters. And again, if you don't know God, like, dig into the scripture, because otherwise you just always say, why is there a God shaped hole in their heart?

01;01;09;28 - 01;01;26;26
Unknown
If you don't fill that with God, you're filled with something and it's usually not good. But yeah, compete with yourself and love Christ. How can, how can people find out about you? I'm mostly active on X, so, the Hendricks I post, I got a fish hatchery, I post. It's just life. It's it's a feed of life.

01;01;26;26 - 01;01;44;07
Unknown
But then I do a lot of my, just activism stuff that I'm doing with politics and disaster relief and stuff there, too. But that's a have really enjoyed that platform. It's mostly where I post and, right now, well, obviously it was we start rolling out some barbarian Foundation stuff. You'll see that as well. Great.

01;01;44;10 - 01;01;55;21
Unknown
Yeah. Appreciate you. Well, thanks for going on. Absolutely.