Nick Bafaro | From Chaos To Clarity | This Is Life

Nick grew up under the weight of fear, traded pain for weed and whiskey, and spiraled into a front-porch fire, a stack of felonies, and 120 days that could have become 10 years. He walked out determined to live, then drifted back into alcohol and cocaine until shame and a father’s stinging letter nearly broke him. Hannah’s steady presence kept him breathing. A friend’s invite got them through the church doors. A simple prayer, offered without prying, planted a seed.

We walk through the moments that turned a fragile seed into a rooted life: confession after an all-nighter, quiet pastoral care, serving on the safety team, and a new routine that replaced the bar with the gym and the Word. Nick names the guilt that haunted him, including an abortion in his past, and the sentence that cut through it—“You’re forgiven, bro.” Change didn’t erupt; it accumulated. Finish work, move the body, eat, read, sleep. Call a brother. Pray honestly. Show up again.

There’s restoration, too: nicotine gone, alcohol gone, anxiety managed with better tools, and a family beginning to heal. A father who once wrote a letter of disgrace later teared up with pride at a rehearsal dinner. Marriage and baptism marked the milestones; daily choices did the heavy lifting. Even on the road in Memphis, Nick chose discomfort over drift, knocking on a church door to find a new group because growth requires people and practice.

If you’re searching for faith-based recovery, men’s small groups, coping strategies for anxiety, or a way back from shame, this story offers a clear map: do what you can, pray often, and give it to God. Listen, share with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review to help more people find these stories.

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Transcript

Cold Rides And Warm Banter

SPEAKER_02 0:18

John, you are wearing currently a sweatshirt with Santa Claus riding a mountain bike.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

That's well, I mean, that's the only way to celebrate uh December. Can you ride mountain bikes in the snow? You can, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we've done it before. Like we've done it's not great because it's just freezing cold. I mean, slippery tracks is not great. Hit the ground, yeah, frozen. Yeah. I mean, it's um I mean, because you get if you're if you're moving at any type of speed, then yeah, like I'm not as fluffy as Santa Claus, so I don't have as much cushion, you know, to stop the fall. But you have to bundle up and then I'm just giving the age now, like if it's not a certain temperature, I'm not going out. Yeah. And so I mean, before like there was a group of us, we would actually ride all winter long. Ugh. When the handlebars are like literally like frozen to your hands. Greg does, I'm sure. Greg does, I'm sure. Yeah. Shout out to Greg. He's like, come on, boys, let's go ride in December, you'd be better for June. And so no, I'll work harder in June. And so you're doing good, man? Yeah. I love it. You got a week left of school?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Week left of school. School?

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Well, Christmas break. Christmas break, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Do anything fun for Christmas break?

SPEAKER_02 1:22

My brother's coming in from Florida, so I think we talked about this last podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

I mean, something new to talk about. We could.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

I realized is the podcast with um you, Jamie, Sean, or your Sean, but and Mike. Uh you guys are good weathermen. Like, no matter when you listen at the beginning, it's like you always know what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

We do that podcast after lunch, usually. That's not a great time to do a podcast. I always turn it out of the way. We have a staff meeting for like two hours and then we go have lunch. And by the time you're done with that, you're like, my brain's warm.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I play a game or I try to figure out what day you recorded it because I'm like, okay. They said it's 50 degrees, so okay, was that warm Tuesday? You know, they probably recorded on that day. It's always Wednesday. So yeah, but don't ruin it because I like to play the game. Okay, sorry. No, it's any day.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

It's it's could be Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

If you ever want to update, like you guys, if you ever, you know, retire, you can you have a future and weather. Are you calling us liars? Liars.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Because whether men lie.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

No, they're just wrong. They're just wrong. Okay. No, they're not intentionally lying. I don't know if they lie. That's true. I don't know.

Meet Nick And Hannah

SPEAKER_03 2:22

I mean, those cameras are a good gig. You don't have to be right. Like you just make it up as you go. That's true. That's true. But you know what? Let's get to the point of the podcast, Duncan. Nobody wants to hear from us. You're right. They don't. You're up.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

So hey, we have two guests here. Right? Okay. Could you guys both introduce yourself?

SPEAKER_04 2:40

Yeah, my name's Nick Buffero, and I'm here with my wife Hannah. Buffero.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Say that a couple times. Buffaro. Where's that coming from? Buffaro. Buffar. B-A F A R What's your yeah, but see, when I first met you, you weren't Nick. Which we're gonna get into it, right?

SPEAKER_04 2:55

We'll go over that.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

Okay, yeah. Well, tell us what you guys are. So how long have you been coming to? No, he's got a nickname, it's pretty cool. Yeah. I'm not gonna say it out loud.

SPEAKER_04 3:01

Some people think it's cool.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Yeah, well, I mean, it's cool probably because I mean I know now, but at first I didn't know the backstory. I thought that was your real name. Nope. And we'll get into it. We'll get into it.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

I'm I'm hearing it as the listeners hear it.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

Well, you wouldn't have been late to the room.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Live live reaction.

SPEAKER_04 3:20

Live reaction. And so, anyways, tell us how long you've been coming to church and where you're serving. We've been coming since uh January uh twenty-one, I think.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 3:27

And uh Hannah started serving on the sensory church. Guys, if you could see Hannah's face right now, she's super nervous about this podcast room.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

The microphone.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

Uh sorry. I started serving on the safety team a few months after you started, I think.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yes. You and your kids, Hannah? Yes, the sensory team.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Yeah, and you're in life kid, and you're a safety guy.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

Yeah, originally I told him I wanted to do the kids guard only because I like being upstairs by myself. Yeah. I don't have to interact with anybody. Kids are not that intimidating, so it was pretty easy for me. And they started asking me to do point and sanctuary and different stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

But here you are now on a podcast.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:03

Yeah, you guys do a good job.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

You do a really good job.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Yeah. All right, where let's get it. What we start with, a nickname or what we started with?

Childhood Fear And Losing Faith

SPEAKER_04 4:09

Uh we'll start at the beginning, I guess. Let's do it. Uh I grew up and we went to we were went to Catholic church when I was a kid, you know, did PSR and stuff stuff like that. Uh usually it started out going pretty regularly, then it ended up being, you know, we would only go to Christmas and Easter, things like that. Uh I've got two brothers, one twin brother, one older brother. And so mom would always take us to church, and like I said, it started becoming less and less often. Dad didn't really go with us a whole lot. He was there a few times for Christmas and Easter, but but not a whole lot, you know. So uh Yeah, just being a kid growing up there, we always had everything we needed, but uh it could be it could be a little rough, you know. My dad worked second shift and uh we just never know never knew what kind of mood he was gonna be in when he came home, you know. So uh there was nights where he'd he'd come home and things weren't going well, and he'd be yelling and screaming and whatever had him upset, and sometimes he would get us up in the middle of the night and it could be a little abusive, you know. Uh I remember there was times where me and my brother would be laying in bed and we would just pray, man, just you know, God take pretty much take take him away from us, take take him out of our lives. Uh you know, I don't I don't understand why we're being treated this way, why why life has got to be like this, and uh and nothing ever happened. Now we always had as kids everything we we needed, you know. We were always provided for real well, but uh but it could be rough, man. And uh I think that's when we really started, at least for me, really started losing my faith. Uh I didn't understand why God would allow it. Yeah, why I was going through this stuff, why I was being treated this way. Uh you know, Jamie was talking this morning about uh fear distorting your view of God. And one thing he said is he's faithful, he's present, he's powerful, he's good. I didn't notice any of that stuff, you know. And and I was I was looking at it from a a child's perspective, you know. I didn't understand what my dad had been through whenever he grew up and what made him the way he was.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Sure.

SPEAKER_04 6:22

Um but yeah, that's that's really when I when I lost my faith, man. And just ever since then, I I didn't really want to be at home. Uh you know, when we were got a little bit older, we wouldn't get on our BMX bikes and just ride all over town and just uh, you know, never wanted to be around the family, never wanted to be at the house. Um just learned to get away, you know. And because of that, I wasn't really being led by by anybody. I mean, my mom always told us, you know, it you your dad means well, he just doesn't know how to go about it. And and we later understood that. I mean, it it doesn't give an excuse, but I mean, this guy, his mom passed away from breast cancer when he was like 12 years old.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Sure.

Drugs, Drinking, And A Felony Fire

SPEAKER_04 7:04

His dad was on disability for most of my dad's entire life. Um when he was 13, he had to get a job and he had to pay rent to his dad for like 30% of his paycheck had to go to his dad for rent when he was 13 years old. Wow. So he didn't have it easy either. Just a lot of stuff stuff. Yes, yes. So uh into my teen years, like I said, we were riding all over town, never wanted to be home, uh, started getting involved, drugs, smoking, smoking a lot of weed, and started drinking and stuff, and um that was just that's what I resorted to. That's how I coped. You know, I was never taught any good, healthy coping skills of any kind. And uh moved out of my own. Uh I told you earlier, got a house when I was 19. Me and my older brother got a house together. Wow. You and your brother? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

How old is your brother then? Uh my brother's about three and a half years older than me. Okay. So you guys said, hey, we're gonna get out of this environment, still ugly environment.

SPEAKER_04 8:03

Yeah, it could be. And he actually moved out of the house when me and my twin brother were freshmen. Freshman year for us, it was his senior year, and he moved out of the house and went to stay with friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

And it was because the environment of your home.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

I believe so. I mean, it's we would have to ask him, but yeah, I truly believe that's that's probably the reason that he ended up leaving. So uh but mom and dad helped us get this house, you know, uh, and we moved out together and partying, partying, partying, and that's all we did, man. That's how I cope with everything. A lot of drinking. Uh huh. And uh one night I was at a friend's house, and uh we started drinking pretty heavily, and then I left there and uh was pretty intoxicated. Went to another buddy of mine's house and uh started drinking even more. They had uh a problem with one of the neighbors down the street, and uh we went down there and started a fire uh on this guy's front porch.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

What? And uh because you just there was an issue, so like let's start a fire.

Prison, The Near Miss, And A Wake-Up

SPEAKER_04 9:03

They wanted to kind of get this guy back or something, I guess, and we went down there and and set the front porch. On fire. Fort porch steps on fire, yeah. Did the whole house go up in fire or not? No, not at all. It was it left a control burn spot. Uh yeah, I mean, however you want to but uh the next day two bomb squad detectives came over and picked me up, brought me down to St. Louis City precinct. Wow. And um Because you bombs squad, because you started fire. Well, this was in 2006, so 9-11 was pretty fresh in everybody's mind. And uh yeah, they had two two bomb squat detectives come pick us up, and uh they originally sentenced me with like five different felony charges. And uh the the final sentence was I had to go serve four months in prison at Boonville Correctional Center. Wow. Now it was part of uh a deal, so the sentence was technically 10 years pursuant to an uh 559.115, which was uh 120-day shock program. So that meant that I was gonna go down there for four months. And if at any time during that stay I messed anything up, failed a drug test, got in a fight, anything like that, they would remove that uh original agreement and I would have to do the 10 years.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 10:26

So it was a lot hanging over my head, you know.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Uh how long did you stay there then? Total? 120 days. So you stuck to the plan.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

I s yep, somehow. By the grace of God, uh there was uh one time we were out on the the rec yard. Uh you could do weights and play baseball and different stuff like that, and some guy came up and was smoking a joint. Hey man, you want some of this? And I don't know what it was, but I just said, no, no, I'm I'm good. Which was not like me. I mean, this was my thing. This was what I love to do, you know. Uh and the very next day they called me into the probation or one of the offices down there and I had to take a drug drug test. Wow. Sounds like a test. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So and it's You'd have been.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

You'd have been there ten years. Well, yeah, eight and a half. Potentially.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

Eight and a half day for day. So there's because it was considered a violent crime, you automatically had to do 85% of your sentence. So it would have been eight and a half years as opposed to four months. Yeah. So that was that was pretty intimidating, you know. Uh so I got out of there when I was about uh well, I guess I was nineteen when I went in, so nineteen still got out of there. My dad actually got me a job working with him uh in the Board of Makers Union, and uh, you know, started doing that. I worked with him for about four years, I think it was. Uh but as soon as I got out, I was drinking right away. Back back to drinking, smoking pretty regularly, still except for there were drug tests through the union randoms that you would have to take. So I started leaning more on alcohol, and uh and then that started leading me more towards using cocaine. So I'd get pretty drunk, and uh, you know, in order to try and kind of sober myself up, I would start using cocaine. So about uh four years into my apprenticeship in the Boilermakers, uh I was working down in New Madrid, and uh they had a random drug test come up, and I failed for it. I failed for Coke. And uh before I could even call anybody and tell them what was going on, my dad had already heard about it. Like this is a tightly knit group of guys, you know, I don't remember work trails very fast. Um at the time, me and Hannah were I think we were dating then even. So it was pretty early on in our relationship.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

You started dating after prison? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 12:53

So uh I called her and I was I was a mess, man. I mean, I was uh pretty much ready to end my life. I mean, I you know, it was miserable. I didn't know where to turn, I didn't know what to do. Uh and she drove down there like two hours down there and and came to just kind of console me and tell me hey, it's gonna be all right, and we're gonna figure this out and you're gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Yeah. Even go back to prison? Was there any potential for you?

SPEAKER_04 13:17

No, no, there was no potential for that. I was just miserable, man. I mean, yeah, my whole life.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

So I'm assuming you lost your job from that.

SPEAKER_04 13:24

Uh, so I had to do like a go to like a a couple week program or something, and I couldn't work at that location for a couple months. And then uh so I took care of all that, and then they sent me to a different power plant to work there, and I did it again. Wow. So uh they had another drug test and I failed once again for COVID. You were addicted. Yeah. For sure. It was bad. Uh it I was I think the major issue was when I would when I would get drunk. And I mean, she can tell you stories of what we would ride around in my car and I would have a bottle sitting right there next to me and just drinking and driving like it was nobody's business. No big deal. Yeah. No big deal for me. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

I was terrified.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Yeah, you were terrified. Yeah, like this is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 14:10

So uh so yeah, my uh after that one, my dad wrote me out a letter pretty much saying, you know, you've disgraced this entire family. I can't go to work events anymore because of how embarrassed I am of what you did. Uh you your brothers are very disappointed in you. So you're now very disappointed in you. Even deeper in a hole. Yes. Yes. And I didn't know a way out, you know. I mean, I'm miserable. Sure. Uh so fast forward a couple years, I get myself into the sheet metals union, uh, still drinking pretty regularly, still uh not really reaching out for any help. I didn't know where to reach out. Now, a couple times, once when I was in prison, there was a priest that came around and and seen everybody and you know, checking in, seeing how we were doing, kind of trying to reach out, but I really, you know, I I didn't want nothing to do with him. You know. Um and then throughout my life there was a pastor from a Baptist church in the local area. I ran into him at like a Walmart one time or something. He gave me my card or gave me his card, and I guess I reached out to him and he would come over and talk to me every once in a while and stop by the house. Uh I actually went to his church once or twice, and it just it just didn't really feel like the right place for me to be. Yeah. But um so fast forward to the uh sheet metal career a couple years after the Boilermakers, I got into doing sheet metal. Uh, like I said, was still drinking pretty regularly, which usually led to drugs. Um at this time, me and Hannah were living together. And uh and I guess uh not too long after I got into there, we started attending life here, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:58

How many years? Like how many years is it like from you're out of prison, you and Hannah meet, and you're in this situation before you actually get to life community church where you're gonna drugs?

SPEAKER_04 16:07

Around 19, uh then I guess if you were 19, I was twenty-five, twenty-six when we met.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Yeah.

Hannah’s Support And A Second Fall

SPEAKER_04 16:15

And then I started as a sheet metal worker when I was twenty-seven.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

Wow. So five, six years? Process I mean if you said nineteen and then like to twenty-seven.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

Yeah. So that when I was twenty-seven is when me and her met.

SPEAKER_03 16:33

Oh okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

So there's a lot going on. You're living this crazy wildlife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:39

Oh, yeah. And then you're talking about the same thing. I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol for over half my life. Easily. Easily.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

From 14 to 35, 36 years old.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Wow. So then you uh you How old were you when you started coming here?

SPEAKER_04 16:52

Uh it was in twenty one. And I'm 37 now. So what's that? 32?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Gotcha. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

So uh we start going here.

SPEAKER_03 17:05

Are you gonna tell us your nickname?

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Cha Chachi.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Chachi. There it is. That's that's how I knew him. Chachi. I didn't know Nick. I'm like, what's that guy's name? It's not Chachi?

SPEAKER_04 17:14

Yeah. So whenever I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

Which I thought was interesting. I'm like, who names your kid Chachi?

SPEAKER_04 17:16

Yeah. So whenever I was hanging out with my friends from from back in the good old days, uh we would sit around uh drinking a bunch, and a buddy of mine's dead thought I was Mexican, so he started calling me Chachi. Gotcha. Which I really don't care for because I used to be really too. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 17:41

So don't call him Chachi.

SPEAKER_04 17:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 17:47

So uh we start coming here around 21.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Are you what you come here at 21? Are you done with the drugs? Are you on the drugs? Oh no.

New Trade, Same Chains

SPEAKER_04 17:56

I'm still drinking. So what brought you to people smoking? Yeah. So Sam Gang, Zach and Sam Gang are the ones that invited us originally, and really it was Sam that invited Hannah. And Hannah wanted to come uh and she asked me, hey, what will you go with me? You know, this is something I want to do. Would you like to go with me? And I said, Well, I'll go for the first couple of times till you're comfortable going by yourself, and then you're on your own. I want nothing to do with this. You know, it's you that's fine, that's what you want to do. Which pretty quickly turned into, hey, get up, we're going to church, you know. Awesome. Which really so it's, you know, at first it started off that I'm not gonna go with you, or I'll go a first couple times, and then it was, well, I'll go with you on Sundays, but uh that's all I'm doing. I'm not doing this Wednesday night thing, I'm not volunteering for this, I'm not doing that, which just escalated, you know. Uh so for that first uh several months we were going, it was uh just going on Sundays, and then there was one morning specifically, uh I think it was around this time in 21 in the winter time, and I was up all night, man. Um I uh I woke her up pretty early in the morning. I said, Hey, I, you know, I've been using Coke all night and I haven't gone to sleep yet. And uh she looked at me and said, Well, you're not getting out of church going that easily, you know. You you're going to church with me still. And um so we came and uh sat through service and I went and talked to Zach after after service and was just telling him, Man, I'm I'm not doing good, things aren't things aren't going right for me, I'm struggling real bad. And uh, you know, he uh kind of consoled me and just told me he was gonna be there for me and whatever I needed. And then uh then the next next week we went to service. Brent was still here, Pastor Brent was here.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:55

And uh Brent Johnson. Yeah, I guess Zach went over and talked to him and and he just came over and prayed over me, man. You just, you know, came up kind of I I understand things are going real well for you. I don't know what's going on. I'm not gonna pry. I just like to pray for you if you don't mind. And uh and that meant a lot to me, man. That that's that was the beginning of the change for me.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

You know, I was always How many years were you going here before that happened? How long were you going there?

SPEAKER_04 20:22

That was the end of 21.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

But you're so that year that you're still going here, there's drugs, there's cocaine, there's alcohol. Wow, you hit it well, bro. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I was like at a point, um, I was telling you this earlier. I was at a point where I was like, I don't I don't know what else to do with you. Like I was like, I I you just need Jesus. Like I it's like um at the beginning of a wonderful life where they're all praying for him. It's like that's what I felt like. I was like, we just all can pray for you, that's all we can do. Because you have to give your life to Jesus. You have to make that choice.

unknown 20:58

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

Yeah, and so I was scared to really commit to that. Uh nothing had ever worked for me in the past. You know, I was in rehab and I was doing this and I was doing that, and and nothing ever seemed to really work. And so I was nervous to make the commitment because I didn't want to just back out of it in six months. You know, I wanted to make sure that this is truly what I wanted and that I was gonna be committed to Christ and committed to to having this relationship. And uh so it was uh it was still pretty slow for me, uh, but but I kept coming. I knew that uh, you know, my life had already started going in the right direction um since I I told Zach what was going on, and Brent came over and prayed for me, and uh and we kept coming here, man. And uh and I I started finally having people in my life consistently that that truly cared for me and were truly looking out for me.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

That's incredible.

Invited To Church, Resistant Heart

SPEAKER_04 21:52

So it that helped out quite a bit. Um and then hearing other people's stories. So um, you know, we keep coming. Hannah Hannah started volunteering about three months into us coming to church here. And then uh probably sometime in 22 or maybe middle of 22 is when I got on the safety team and started volunteering there. And then started listening to the podcast and stuff, and uh one of them that stuck out to me was Andrew Wetzler's story, which was powerful. Yes, definitely, definitely. And that kind of hit home for me, too, because I had a similar thing like that happen early on in my past, too. And uh I was talking to him one morning, I was upstairs, uh, and um I just said, Hey man, I heard your podcast. You know, it's that that you know, that really hit home for me. I you know, I really see where you're coming from. And he just looked right at me and he said, You're forgiven, bro. You're you are forgiven. Yeah, dude, because it's I mean, that's part of I was looking at the Ten Commandments the other night. I think I've hit every one of those, man. And it's it's couple times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How can I still come back from that? Wow. And that was the that was the one the struggles I had.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

And then uh So I'm assuming that like abortion's been a part of your past.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

Yeah, when I was uh after prison, uh I dated a different girl and she ended up pregnant. And we ended up having an abortion. Yeah. Wow. And I didn't I mean I knew what I was doing at the time, but I didn't think it was uh a huge deal at the time. No, you're not.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

There's no, yeah, that makes sense. And so uh yeah, we're so help me. So in that moment when he said that to you, like you are forgiven, do you feel like in that moment where it clicked for you, like you're like, you know, where were where did that where was that point where you were at a specific time.

SPEAKER_04 23:44

You know, you hear a lot of people say this specific thing happened to me and then boom, I was saved. That was it. And uh I feel like it wasn't necessarily a one specific thing. I've always been slow to everything I've gone, and it's always it's been a journey for sure. And that was my major concern at the beginning is I don't want to say I'm all in with this and then quit in six months. I was so weary of stepping into this relationship.

SPEAKER_03 24:13

So let me ask you this question: how do the drugs and the alcohol stop?

Confession, Prayer, And A First Shift

SPEAKER_04 24:18

I mean, they just stopped. Not not all at once. Uh it was a you know, it was a lot of people praying for me and not being involved in those areas. Uh so the first time I went out of town to Columbia, Missouri to work was I had a really bad time. I would I would drink immediately after work. Uh I would end up in strip clubs in the middle of the night and I would start using drugs. And uh so then I came home, and the year I was home was when uh I kind of confessed to Hannah and had Brent pray for me. Well, then I had to go back down to Columbia the following year. And I made a commitment to myself that, hey man, I am not gonna live like that anymore. I'm gonna live 100% different. So as soon as I would get off work, it was go straight home, change into gym shorts, go to the gym. As soon as I got home from gym, it was make dinner and sit down and read my book. You had a routine. Yes, I had a routine and I stuck with it. And it was hard for us because we were apart from each other, but I think it was good for me to have this time alone and really focus on what I realized was important for me and for my life. Wow. Uh it's nice to be able to rely on people, but you can't always depend on everyone. You gotta, you know, you gotta be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

I love what you're describing. I love what you're describing this process of like you and the Lord literally him patiently walking with you for a season. Yes. And you finding your new identity in that.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

So that was kind of a point that I wanted to make is I had to reach out to him, but he never left me.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 25:55

You know?

SPEAKER_03 25:56

He was there.

SPEAKER_04 25:56

God knew me when I was a child.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:58

God knew me when I was pr in prison. He sent this priest to my prison cell. Uh I mean, he sent this pastor in my life whenever I was still. He was always there. He was always there. I just had to reach out. I had to step out of the boat, man. Yes. And so that was the hardest thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

She's like praying for you, getting everybody to pray for you, like we're getting this guy to church.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Yeah, Zach bought him his Bible. He didn't have a Bible before that. And so it was like the difference between going to Columbia for the first job and the second was like a whole new routine. And like focusing on being in the Word every night instead of at a bar.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

Well, it's like when Paul tells Timothy to stir yourself onto Godland. It's like to discipline yourself. And then I think he says, um, like work out your own salvation, right? So it's like you can obviously we don't save ourselves, but like we need to discipline ourselves in godliness. It's like that time for you was like you can have all these people in your life, but at some point you gotta discipline your own yourself.

SPEAKER_04 26:59

At some point you gotta step out in faith and and own up to what you have going on. And so it's I know it's a big thing to to have your mat carriers and surround yourself with Christ-like people, and that is very important. But uh what you do alone and what you do by yourself is just as important. You know, you really gotta commit to having that relationship whether anyone is around or not.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Aaron Ross Powell Yep. Man, that's so good.

Serving, Stories, And Hearing “You’re Forgiven”

SPEAKER_04 27:24

So uh yeah. Uh I guess January of twenty-four is pretty much when I decided, hey man, uh you know, this is where I want to be, this is what I want to do, and that's when I got baptized here.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 27:37

And uh so it was and like I said, everything didn't happen all at once, but pretty much if if I'm not drinking, I'm not using cocaine.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

Being saved from alcohol, you're good. I remember at uh Stronger Men's Conference whenever you went forward.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:54

Yeah. And it was just something that came over me because I and then at one time, you know, uh there wasn't an altar call, but there was something similar to it at church. And I stood up and kind of raised my hand and people were praying for me too. And it's just kind of what I felt was right. I wanted to show myself that I was dedicated to this and show myself that this is where I wanted to be, where I where I felt like I belonged to.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

How different is this guy now, Hannah?

SPEAKER_00 28:16

It's a completely different program.

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Completely different person. Yeah. I remember when you you this started all clicking for you, and Zach would say, Sean, I'm telling you. This is not the same guy. This is not the same guy. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Yeah. It's uh how how is life different from your perspective?

SPEAKER_04 28:37

Uh it's uh everything is smoother, and I'm just not near as anxious anymore. I'm not overwhelmed. Uh I mean, there's still anxiety, there's still still fear. Life still comes, but I'm learning to cope with things. I mean, I'm not going straight to a joint or a bottle, man. You know, it's I'm learning true coping mechanism. There's people that I can reach out to that genuinely care about me. There's there's, you know, I've learned to play pray. I've learned to ask God for things. I've learned to step out in faith. I've, you know, I've learned to reach out in different ways. You know, that's uh that's that's the biggest thing. Uh one phrase that I heard when I when I was coming here early on is give it to God. And I just think that's there's so much truth behind that. Now, at the same time, you can't just sit by idly and not do anything, but you do everything you can do, and then you give it to God, man. There's nothing else that can be done, you know. And and believe that he has this and believe that he will take care of you. And that's that's been huge for me, you know. Um we've been nicotine-free for over two years, which is something I wasn't even planning. I'm like, you know, let's just kick the booze and the hard drug. I'll keep smoking cigars. Yeah, right, right, right. And uh that's that's something that I never thought I'd say.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

What is your dad what's your dad's perspective now?

Abortion, Guilt, And Grace

SPEAKER_04 30:03

Aaron Ross Powell We have a pretty good relationship now, uh for the most part. He's got grandkids to worry about now, too. You know, but it's got he's gotta see and notice what we did. Uh yeah, I think so. Uh he you know he started becoming very proud of me when we were working together, and then that kind of all went downhill. Yeah. So now that uh you know I graduated from this other apprenticeship program, I'm uh independent for a company. Yeah. Uh yeah, they rely on me pretty heavily, and I think he sees that and realizes that. Uh sees the relationship that we have, and I think he's pretty proud of that too.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

You know, you guys got married and uh and uh hold up, why am I thinking of I can't list and miss the name of it. Got married in uh why this is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

Niagara Falls once once, but then we got married at Sylvan Spring Park, too. We did.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

That's the private that's the private one. And so that's the private one. But you guys went out there, Jeff and Jody went out there with you, a bunch of your friends and family went out there, and you guys did a ceremony out there, and which is incredible. Like a testament to God and what he's doing and in your life. And so that's really cool. Yeah, that's so cool. Man, it's so good. Hannah, you got anything you want to say?

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Well, I was like, I know we're we're focusing on his story, but your dad gave that speech at our rehearsal dinner where he told you how proud he was and just what a big difference that he has seen in you, and he was he was tearing up pretty good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

Third time I've ever seen him tear up before.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

It was really intense speech. It was good.

SPEAKER_03 31:35

That's incredible. Now, obviously, it sounds like your mom has had faith a long time from what you've said. Yeah, yeah. Now, what about the rest of your family? Are you the like are you kind of like you know, leading the charge when it comes to being a follower of Christ for your family?

SPEAKER_04 31:48

Uh I I think so. I think that's where I I lack in uh really stepping out in faith and and showing up for things like that is I you know, I it's hard for me to put myself out there in front of them and show them, you know, where I'm at and why I think I'm there and things like that.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

It doesn't make sense mentally. It's like these are fans, these are mom, dad, brothers, like sisters, it should be easy, but it's not, it's more challenging because they've lived close to us and the good and the bad. You know, but it's what Pastor said this morning, he was messaged like and he said multiple, multiple times, like our job is just to testify. Right. It's just to t to tell people what's happening. Man, it's incredible what God's done in your life, Nick. And both of you guys.

Routine, Discipline, And Real Change

SPEAKER_04 32:29

Hard for me too, and that's why I just think it's before important to step out in faith. And so like uh I'm working down in Memphis right now. And eventually I started doing a small group up here at the Sunday night group. And uh I told these guys, I said, yeah, I'm gonna start traveling to Memphis. And uh Mike Plain actually recommended a church for us to go down there and attend when we're down there full time. And uh so I was telling these guys, I said, Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to attend Sunday nights anymore. I'm gonna have to go down to drive down to Memphis then. And Jerry Lenz is like, well, maybe you can go down to that church and see if you can sign up for a small group. And I said, Well, you know, I might be able to, but I've never even attended church there. I don't really know anybody. That's gonna be hard for me to just step out there and go see if they got a small group. And Chris Robinson looked right at me and he goes, No one ever said this was gonna be easy. He said, Wow. Jamie told me a long time ago, you gotta be comfortable being uncomfortable. Wow. And uh hey man, that just that hit me pretty hard, you know. Uh that's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. So it's I haven't made it through the whole Bible yet, but yeah, I don't think it says anything about it being easy.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

You're right.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

So That is so true. Uh and that's it took me a couple of weeks, and I finally went well, first I filled something out online to try and join a group down there and never heard anything from anybody.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

I thought, well, maybe that's God's sign of telling me to go somewhere else. And then I thought, well, maybe that's God's sign that I need to go show up at their front door and see what they say, you know. So I finally uh went down there last Wednesday night and walked in, and they were doing like a kids' Christmas celebration thing or something like that, and I got in contact with somebody and she sent my information off to one of the guys that led the group.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

Wow. So you attend a live group there now? Uh when you when you have a subject. Yeah, I haven't heard back from him yet.

SPEAKER_04 34:21

But yeah, that's the plan, is when I get there and uh starting. Golly, dude, that's incredible.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Wow. So it's amazing to me, you know, the handful of podcasts we've done since Chris Robinson's uh passing, he's come up in everyone. Yeah. Which is I think is incredible.

SPEAKER_04 34:37

I was I was blessed enough to uh be able to learn a lot from him. Because I was only in that group for a few months until I had to stop going, and then I stopped going about two weeks later he passed. Yeah. So there was a there's a a ton of great guys in that group. There's a lot of wisdom in that group. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

If you if you're if you're a man listening and you're not one of our small groups as a men's small group, I mean we've got tons of we got Sunday night, we got uh Wednesday night, we got Friday morning, we got Thursday morning. There is just an incredible group of men here that you need to surround yourself with for sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

You got one more thing for you. So if you can leave your uh LCC family with one more thing, what would you what would you say? Give it to God, man.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Give it to God. I love it. I mean, it's that was huge for me. Uh you know, I never knew what to do and where to turn and where to go. And and I learned pretty early on, you try and do the right thing, pray, pray often and give it to God, man, and he will take care of it. You know, it's you still got to do your part too, but at the end of the day, you give it to God and He'll take care of you.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

So good. You mind uh Hannah, you let's see, Hannah or Nick. Whoever feels most comfortable wants to do it. Maybe because it's your story, we can focus on Hannah's story next time. We have part two with Hannah. And so perfect. Well, either one of you guys want to close this out in prayer.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

Yeah.

Nicotine-Free And New Coping

SPEAKER_04 35:57

Do it, buddy. God, thank you for being with us today. Thank you for allowing me to share my story. God, I pray that even uh even if this story doesn't reach someone today, that you've given me the courage to to continue to share my story with others and uh to hopefully reach out to some people. I pray that you would reward my courage of today with courage for tomorrow. I pray that you continue to lead us and guide us towards you and always be with us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.