Ever wondered what it's like to live with bipolar disorder? Join us as our guest, John Harter, shares his journey from his initial diagnosis at seventeen to creating a fulfilling life all while managing the condition.
We dive deeper into John's personal coping strategies, revealing the essential role sleep plays in managing his bipolar disorder along with the ongoing support from his friends and family. John's career journey is also brought into focus, highlighting his diverse roles and how these workplace’s have accommodated his condition during challenging episodes.
As we wrap up our conversation, John sets our sights towards the future discussing his potential plans to venture into public speaking and harness the power of storytelling to connect with others and share his experiences. This decision reflects his desire to step out of his comfort zone and use his experiences to help others.
John's journey with bipolar disorder underscores the importance of understanding, support, and resilience. It is a powerful reminder that while mental health conditions may be a part of our lives, they do not define us. His story serves as an inspiration, shedding light on the unseen fight many people face while living with bipolar disorder.
The Culture Ministry exists to create inclusive, accessible environments so that people and businesses can thrive.
Combining a big picture, balanced approach with real-world experience, we help organisations understand their diversity and inclusion shortcomings – and identify practical, measurable actions to move them forward.
Go to https://www.thecultureministry.com/ to learn more
If you enjoyed this episode and maybe learnt something please share with your friends on social media, give a 5 star rating on Apple podcasts and leave a comment. This makes it easier for others to find A Dog Called Diversity.
A Dog Called Diversity is proud to be featured on Feedspot's 20 Best Diversity And Inclusion Podcasts
Thanks for listening. Follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook.
Ever wondered what it's like to live with bipolar disorder? Join us as our guest, John Harter, shares his journey from his initial diagnosis at seventeen to creating a fulfilling life all while managing the condition.
We dive deeper into John's personal coping strategies, revealing the essential role sleep plays in managing his bipolar disorder along with the ongoing support from his friends and family. John's career journey is also brought into focus, highlighting his diverse roles and how these workplace’s have accommodated his condition during challenging episodes.
As we wrap up our conversation, John sets our sights towards the future discussing his potential plans to venture into public speaking and harness the power of storytelling to connect with others and share his experiences. This decision reflects his desire to step out of his comfort zone and use his experiences to help others.
John's journey with bipolar disorder underscores the importance of understanding, support, and resilience. It is a powerful reminder that while mental health conditions may be a part of our lives, they do not define us. His story serves as an inspiration, shedding light on the unseen fight many people face while living with bipolar disorder.
The Culture Ministry exists to create inclusive, accessible environments so that people and businesses can thrive.
Combining a big picture, balanced approach with real-world experience, we help organisations understand their diversity and inclusion shortcomings – and identify practical, measurable actions to move them forward.
Go to https://www.thecultureministry.com/ to learn more
If you enjoyed this episode and maybe learnt something please share with your friends on social media, give a 5 star rating on Apple podcasts and leave a comment. This makes it easier for others to find A Dog Called Diversity.
A Dog Called Diversity is proud to be featured on Feedspot's 20 Best Diversity And Inclusion Podcasts
Thanks for listening. Follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook.
Welcome to a dog call diversity this week and I have, I guess, another special guest. He's I mean all my guests are special, but John is the father of my very first employee, Taylor, and it's so nice to talk to him about something that's affected him in his life. So welcome to the podcast, John. How are you today?
Speaker 1:I'm good. Thanks, lisa, yes, good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I know when we spoke before, you're so proud of Taylor. She's doing so well working with me.
Speaker 1:So it's good. No, she's, she's a pretty amazing young lady. Actually she's getting older now. So, yeah, yeah, I've seen all the way through, you see, from a little baby right through to a grown woman and she's, you know, she's, she's excelled all the way along. Quite amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm really proud to be working with her. So, and you know, early on when she started working with me she helps me on the podcast, she does a lot of the social media work and she said to me, oh, my dad should come on your podcast. And I'm like, really, what would your dad talk about? And so then she told me about your bipolar diagnosis, yeah, yeah. And I said, oh, I'd love, I'd love to have him on the podcast because I haven't had anyone speak about, I guess, mental health issues like what you've experienced, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So why don't we start a bit at the start? Or maybe I should. We should say you're based in New Zealand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:What town do you live in?
Speaker 1:I'm living in Palmerston North now. I was living in Masterton for 50 odd years. That was my base and all my family was there. And then I met a wonderful lady and got dragged over to Palmerston and got married a couple of years ago, and so I've been living here in Palmerston ever since.
Speaker 2:So nice, nice. That's a very nice part of New Zealand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I didn't realize how nice it was until I started journeying over here, and yeah so yeah, and love makes it nice too right, oh, love makes everything nice to me.
Speaker 2:It really does. It really does. So tell me a bit about how I guess how you knew that something was a bit different for you. When was the first time you thought, yeah, there's something going on for me that other people don't have?
Speaker 1:Well, the first time for me was when I was at Waira College and I was 17. I was doing really well. I was having a lot of fun with school and enjoying all the sports and everything. And then, with bipolar, you generally have triggers, things that activate. The problem, and mine in this case we think we're not 100% sure but was the fact that I put carpet in a little mini van that I was given by my parents and I glued it in with 8 or 12 to glue and I was in the van. That started raining and I was in the van for 8 hours and when I came out I didn't know who I was, what I was or anything, and I tried to function and carry on normally. But I lost the plot totally. So, as a consequence, I went into hospital for 2 or 3 months and they had no idea, no diagnosis, didn't know what was going on. I tried all sorts of treatments on me and came out of that in a coma.
Speaker 1:I went into a coma when I was released from the hospital and I went back to Masterson Hospital and I had that for 3 weeks and then they put me out on 7 different types of drugs. They were trying all sorts of drugs to try and sort me out, and that really wasn't the answer. And so the doctor that was looking after me at this time, dr De Silva, he took me off everything and put me on lithium. I don't know if you've heard about lithium. You've heard of lithium batteries in cars and stuff like that as a medication. It's quite amazing. It's been around for years and it's one of the greatest things for bipolar. And he put me on this and I came out of the coma and I started to get back into normal life, and so that was the first time that I had an idea that there was something different about me, and I still hadn't really understood it.
Speaker 2:You know, at that stage Did you have a diagnosis like coming out of that period. Did you have a diagnosis of bipolar no?
Speaker 1:no, I didn't. For 4 years after that I was living in Masterson and working as a survey technician in a survey firm and my life just was normal there's no difference from anybody else. And then I decided I wanted to travel and I went overseas and I travelled for 2 years, had an amazing time, found my independence, I achieved a lot of things I never would have achieved normally and then ended up going on to I worked for a survey firm over in Australia and I had to work as a survey miner and constructing the mine and being the total surveyor for that and then for 3 weeks I busted my bottom and I came back from that and I had a lot of money because back in those days mining was huge, I made a lot of money and I was only young.
Speaker 1:And I came back and as a consequence of working on a mine on my own with the survey, I had to really utilise my brain a lot more than I ever have and I think I wound myself up which is one of the things you can do as a bipolar to initiate a high. And I came back from the mine site and went into Perth. I was living in Perth at the time and I had $6,000 to spend and I don't know if you realise bipolar love to spend their money. They have no restraints at all. So I went and decided music was my thing. So I went and bought $6,000 worth of music instruments because I had seen an ad for a peloton thing they were having in Australia to raise money and I thought I'd get out there and raise money with my friends that I had met over there and I had more instruments and it was an amazing trip.
Speaker 1:It was really good, but it lost touch with reality near the end, unfortunately, and as a consequence, my brother came over from New Zealand to see what was going on because I think the family heard that I wasn't doing the normal things again and were thinking it could be a relapse of what had happened when I was 17.
Speaker 1:So he came over to try and sort me out and I went into deep end totally because he was trying to deal with a guy that was on a high and never experienced it. And we started to travel from Perth to Sydney and he seemed to think if we were travelling, we were going to be alright, we'll be under control. But I left him in New Zealand, which was the border town on Western Australia, and he went to bed and I got back in the car and drove back to Perth for a 4-5 hour drive and left him there and, as a consequence, again I got picked up by the cops, taken to hospital and I told them that I was on Lithium at a time because I'd stopped taking the Lithium when I went travelling and they put me into a hospital and my brother came back and I had to wait another month before they brought me back. So, yeah, and that was when I had my first diagnosis of bipolar of bipolar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell me about yeah, 21.
Speaker 2:Wow, tell me about your behavior when you're on a high, so obviously spending lots of money.
Speaker 1:Yeah spending money else. Grandiose, grandiose Feelings. You know, you think you can do anything. It's funny.
Speaker 1:I was talking to my wife about the southern eye and and when I first met her, I Got high because I was so elated meeting such a wonderful woman, which was out of control for me because I'd already had always handled it pretty well. But there's something about this lady and I told her that I could fly planes and helicopters Very, very convincing, you know, she, she believed everything that I said and that, um yeah, so it wasn't a little bit later that you found out that 90% of the stuff that I told her was all bullshit. The good thing about this was that Julie hung in there. You know a lot of people in that sort of situation and don't want to know about it, but she I don't know what it was, whether I had a good smile or something, but she hung in there and Can't share what.
Speaker 1:When I was in hospital, she came over and visited me every weekend from from Palmerston and built up a strong relationship between the two of us and and between. With that as a basis, we've got a huge Background and understanding in each other, you know. So now it's been bloody good.
Speaker 2:Do you have so? Sometimes people with bipolar, they have the really high highs and they have really low lows. Do you experience those big swings or is it just I have the high highs.
Speaker 1:Definitely have the high highs and my family tell you about that and Julia tell you about that and my daughter Definitely would tell you about that. But the lows I'm quite lucky really. I don't really get the lows to the extent that a lot of bipolar do have. I'm not too sure what the reasoning is for that, but I think I consider myself very grateful and very lucky to not have to deal with that, because that is a huge, huge undertaking. Going through that, yeah.
Speaker 2:Tell me a bit about, I guess between you actually got diagnosed when you were 21? Yeah, which I'm guessing was a big help then, because then you know what you're dealing with, then you can start to manage. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally so. And do you have, I guess, a rhythm of episodes? Like do you know that maybe every four years or so you might have an episode, or is it much More sporadic than that? Well, my, my sister crowd is.
Speaker 1:She used to say that it was every two years and she could pretty much get it, break it down and show me where it were fit in there. But in saying that, I Left my wife, my first wife, Taylor's mum and I I I we sort of had a discussion and she said, you know, because she'd been through quite a lot of highs my ex-wife, and hung in there and that sort of thing. But then when we broke up there was a bit of callus between the two of us and she said you're never going to survive, You'll be having highs all the time, You'll be out of control, You're never going to find another woman, You're never going to get another job. And I said, oh shit. I came away from that feeling pretty bloody down and everything, but instead of dwelling on it I turned it around and thought buggy it. So from then I had 10 years where I was clean and I had no problems. So that's pretty much my record 10 years without a high.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and when you have a high, does it mean every time you get hospitalised? No not every time I've had.
Speaker 1:Well, the funny thing is it's like a regulating a bath, a warming a bath or something. You know, if you put really hot water in, you're going to have problems and you've got to deal with it. But if the water is tippered, you can handle it and there's no problems. Same with the highs. If the highs are really high, you've got to get help. You can't control it, you can't do it yourself. But there's a lot of times when I'd be getting high and I'd be in control and it's almost like drinking again. You know, you have that drink and you think, oh, one more and I'll be all right, and that one more puts you over the top. I'm in the same situation with my mind. If I push myself a little bit too far, I'm gone, but if I don't, I can actually enjoy quite a lot of stimulation and ability to get high. I can't still be in control. But it's such a tricky one, you know, it's like being an alcoholic, it's like all those things you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What are?
Speaker 2:the things you do in your life, I guess, to keep the bath water at the same temperature? Yes, how do you manage it?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a big chunk in my life. It's music. I've always played music and sang and I used to sing in the pubs and go to rest homes and sing at rest homes Well, that sort of thing that generates and fills my tank to a huge extent. I've sort of lost it a little bit coming over to Parmi because back in Masterson I was with a crowd of people that were right into it and it flowed all the time. Over here I'm struggling to find people that I can get organised, but that's probably one of the major things is music.
Speaker 2:You. I know when we first spoke, you talked a bit about sleep and the importance of sleep.
Speaker 1:Tell us about that Very important, Very important yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So what do?
Speaker 2:you do to make sure you get sleep, Because for some people, sleep can be an elusive thing right, oh, for the majority of the world, I think it is eh. Yeah.
Speaker 1:If I'm tired and I'm not thinking 100 miles an hour about everything, I can sleep really well. The trick is to try and calm the mind enough so that you can go into the sleeping mode.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I got carried away fairly recently. I decided I wanted to change my sleeping pattern and go from going to bed at about 10, 11 and getting up at 7, I wanted to go to bed at about 8 and get up at 3 in the morning and have the morning to do everything. I've read a whole lot of books about people that were excelling about living their life from 3 in the morning to 6, 7 in the morning and getting so much done and learning so much, and seemed really good.
Speaker 1:But that's not a great thing for a bipolar. So I hadn't attempted it for a few weeks and Julie started getting worried and I battled on and thought that I was the one that was in control. And as it slipped and I let it go past the point of no return and ended up in hospital. We had enjoyed five years without any problem at all, julie and I and there's real special years and then all of a sudden bang it, the shit hit the fan. But remarkably again she stood by me in a way that nobody ever has. I've got family that when I go into hospital I never hear from them. You're in the safe zone and they're content and they don't feel like they have to say or do anything more. Now You're organised. But that's the time when I really could appreciate a bit of input and some love and care and that sort of thing. Julie did that. She came every day. She Amazing Cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she is pretty amazing.
Speaker 2:What is the role that Julie plays in, I guess, identifying when you're in a high and it's tipping into something that's maybe going to be out of control.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's my watchdog in a way. She's keeping me with all things, because, you know, when we talk about things that can cause a high, when we talk about how the sleep can do it, or drinking and that sort of thing, music can do that too. You know, I can play music for 12 hours straight and have a great time, and coming out the end of it as silly as a tube of watch. So she's sort of monitoring that all the time. It's a big job for her and it's one that a lot of people wouldn't want to take. But by the same token, I give her a hell of a lot of loving and I respect it to the max and we have a very equal and loving relationship.
Speaker 1:So because, I got to remember too that the bipolar crops up its head every couple of years or something like that. So all that other time we're having an amazing time, we've got an incredible relationship and all the things that I get to do the support work and all that sort of thing, and it's special, and it's special the same way that everybody else has. Just because I'm bipolar doesn't mean my whole life is a mystery of the hard ones? No, of course not.
Speaker 2:But it does sound like when things are in balance, when things are in moderations and when you're getting good sleep, when you're not playing music for 12 hours a day when you just got things in sort of the right amount, then everything is okay, which is a lesson for a lot of people, right? If we all have our lives in some form of balance, then we're all more successful.
Speaker 1:That word you just see, then, balance is one of the most important words in the vocabulary for bipolar and all that and for general life, you know yeah yeah, Tell me about work, because you know if you have an episode and you end up in hospital, you could be away from work.
Speaker 2:I don't know what would be an average period of time, months, couple of months, something like that. How has that worked for you over your career?
Speaker 1:I've been very lucky. I came out when I was 17, you know out of the coma that I was telling you about and had to start again. I didn't want to go back to school. Then I felt like I'd burnt all my bridges there and I applied for a job as a survey technician with Tomlinson and Crowther Surveys and those guys are bloody good, really caring, and I worked with them for 18 years and in that time I probably had four or five highs, but every time I had it they just stepped back. They never stopped paying me, which is you know, and the guys after them, because I had a run in with them in the end, unfortunately, about some sort of solidness that they were going through and the money was taking the big lead and forgetting about the morals and that, and I walked out of it and I walked on to the other survey firm. These guys are just the same, they're brilliant.
Speaker 2:That's nice.
Speaker 1:That's so heartening.
Speaker 2:I don't think all employers are like that.
Speaker 1:No. And then since I've left that because I did that for 30 odd years and I came over to Palmerston and I had an opportunity to go into surveying again, but it was getting really stressful and I don't need stress. It's one of the other things that you really want to eliminate. So I've done a lot of work with the disabled back in Masterton and throughout the wire, apper and Julie sent me well, you've got a really good idea of how to deal with these people. You know you've got something special going on. Why don't you do something like that over here? So I thought okay.
Speaker 1:I was working with the disabled, the CCS and IHC and and did quite a big way. I spent three years working for IHC as a support worker site type of thing in that, and did special Olympics, involved with the special Olympics and stuff. So I've done quite a bit of that sort of thing. And camps I did seven camps out at Rivesdale for seven years or something. That was my claim to fame with all the kids. That wasn't a hard journey at all. The kids were so amazing.
Speaker 2:It was brilliant.
Speaker 1:So you know, when I came over here I thought if I do some support work, I could do some good. And I got straight into a couple of guys that I had to look after. One was down syndrome and another one was fragile ex. I don't know if you've ever heard of that fragile ex.
Speaker 2:Tell me a bit more about it.
Speaker 1:It's sort of like the name says that he's a big guy but he's very fragile and he's very easily upset and what sort of thing. So he was a bit of a challenge but turned out to be like a God seen to me, because we got on like real mates and I looked after him for nearly a year Wow. And now I'm looking at what I wouldn't looked after. A family down and in Levin and the father and mother were both ADHD. They had three kids that all ADHD and one was autistic and I had to go and spend time with them each night to get them through the night. So the cooking meals and Getting the beds and that and they were an amazing family and incredible and Learned so much from their mails brilliant. So I had a great, great time there.
Speaker 1:And then now I'm working with a guy in wonganui. I drive every day to wonganui and look after a guy that's had a really bad head injury, old Herbie, and he's an amazing guy and his wife's incredible, and I'm just so grateful and so lucky because, like, like your initial answer question, you know how did you cope with your job with bipolar? You know, I I had this last episode a couple of months ago when, when I was mucking around with my sleep and stuff and I had to go to hospital for nearly two months, my Been with these guys, herbie and Pat, for a whole year where every day during the week and Totally dependent, and then when they when I couldn't make, it will be alright, we'll be okay, and they looked after themselves and they did get some help in the end for taking herbie to the pool, because I used to take him to the pool every day for Exercise.
Speaker 1:In that yeah so that's the sort of thing I Would have thought. Those people would have said I don't want him, don't, don't get that guy back. But I'm back there now, I'm doing my house again and we're going to the pool and we might go to golf on Friday and, yeah, it's bloody cool.
Speaker 1:So, so it's not. It's not a full stop bipolar. You know it's not like what have you got it? You're life stuff to you. You can't do things. I've proved that over and over again and, and the funny thing is, every time I prove it I prove it to the stage that I get to where I Want to prove it too much. You know, I Want to show the world and then I get high again and then I come crashing down. I got a start again. So I'm sort of going up two steps, flipping down three and you know.
Speaker 2:But but you know how to do it. Now I know how to do it.
Speaker 1:I mean that. That's why I Julie Tell the way she behaved this last time is created so much Empowering as far as I'm concerned, you know, I feel so much stronger with her. Sure, we have our arguments and things, but the bottom line is that we really are there for each other. Yeah and I'm having. That makes a big difference. I a big difference, yeah yeah, so it's.
Speaker 2:You know it's come through so strongly that you have great support in your life and, like many people who have challenges in the world, you're giving back. I think you know when you've had an experience yourself and you know what it's like to go through something that's challenging or life-changing that that you're, you're giving back to people.
Speaker 2:Yeah you know who need help as well. Yeah, yeah, and I think by coming on this episode and in sharing your experience, I know there will be people listening who have experience of bipolar either in their family or friends, or might have it themselves, who Will just be so grateful to hear another story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's good yeah. Yeah yeah, I Watch a lot of Inspirational sort of stuff on videos and stuff like that and, yeah, people, speakers, inspirational speakers, I'd love to get out there and do that and talk about what I've been through and get out there. But with all that Experience that I've got under my belt and everything, I still waver and think, oh, could I really do it? You know, but maybe, maybe, just maybe I could get.
Speaker 2:Off course, she could yeah, of course she could. I think coming on a podcast is a first step, right. Yeah, yeah yeah, and People love stories. We love hearing other people's stories and experiences. That's how we connect with people. Yeah, yeah, I'd love to see you have a speaking career, john.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, actually in the in the third and fourth form at Warpah College, I won the speech awards, so I've got. I've got a picture. Julie said to me you should get out and do it, but I don't know I was. We'll see what happens. Maybe watch the space. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep on you.
Speaker 1:We'll do that. We'll do that. That's what I probably need actually. I'll get that daughter of mine onto me. Yes, she seems to control my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'll do that Well. Thank you so much, John, for sharing your story. I feel very honored to have you on the podcast.
Speaker 1:No problem at all, girl yeah.
Speaker 2:I.