Breaking the Silence on Menopause.....with Sarah Connor

Ever found yourself mystified by the changes your body undergoes during menopause, or felt alone in navigating its choppy waters? Sarah Connor, the esteemed Queen of Menopause, joins us today to share her insightful journey from confusion to clarity and how she's flipping the script on menopause misconceptions. With a tale that begins with her own perimenopause struggles and culminates in the creation of "Menopause Over Martinis," Sarah's transformative story is a clarion call for open dialogue and support that transcends the boundaries of gender and age.

We're reshaping how menopause is perceived and discussed, one candid conversation at a time. Sarah's candid narration of bringing her two sons into the loop on women's health issues not only sheds light on the importance of inclusivity but also has us chuckling at the candid family moments that ensue. This episode amplifies the call for menopause education for all, highlighting the necessity of supportive relationships and workplaces that embrace this life stage with empathy and understanding.

As we wrap up, Sarah outlines her multifaceted approach to advocacy, from keynote speeches at the Shepherdess Muster to driving workplace wellness initiatives. The conversation illuminates pathways for connection through events, education, and shared experiences, while also spotlighting invaluable resources like the Australasian Menopause Society. Sarah's commitment to fostering understanding is an inspiring testament to the power of community, advocacy, and informed dialogue in breaking down the barriers of stigma surrounding menopause.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

This week on A Dog Called Diversity. I am so excited to have Sarah Conner, who I'm going to call the Queen of Menopause. I don't know if you've been called that before. How are you, Sarah, but welcome. How are you today?

Speaker 2: 0:17

Thank you Really well. Thank you After International Women's Day last week.

Speaker 1: 0:22

Yeah, yes, it was a big week. It was a very big week. I would say, sarah, that you're one of the most prominent speakers, I guess, and advocates for menopause, not just in New Zealand, but I think more broadly, and I think I first heard from you on someone else's podcast, so it's so nice to have you on mine. I wonder if you just tell us a little bit about yourself, where you live, a bit about what was your day job. But your day job has changed now. Maybe if you could talk a bit about that.

Speaker 2: 1:02

Sure. So I live in Wellington with my partner, my two teenagers and their two guinea pigs. I have a marketing comms background and do a lot of writing, and I've become an accidental advocate, I guess, and speaker, like you said, but this is very awkward which is menopause, or Ruhini Tunga in te reo. And, yeah, my mission really is for everyone to feel informed and supported and understood and, I guess, celebrated through this stage of life, which is completely normal and is something that is going to happen. You know, every woman, some non-binary and trans men are going to go through menopause. So, yeah, I figure we need to understand ourselves, but we also need the people around us to be understanding and supportive as well. So that's really why I'm doing what I'm doing now as a speaker.

Speaker 1: 2:02

How did you get started in this work? Because usually it starts from a personal place, so how do you? Yes, where did it come from?

Speaker 2: 2:09

That was the case for me, I guess. I say accidental, because I never set out to be a public speaker or to become an advocate. I really didn't know what advocacy involved. I knew the meaning of it loosely, I guess. But it was my experience of being 46 and a fit, happy, healthy person who was just going about my life in a usual kind of way busy, but working part-time around my family and doing the things that I'm doing. And then, yeah, I landed in perimenopause.

Speaker 2: 2:43

Without knowing what the word perimenopause meant, I was really naive in thinking that menopause was really your period stopping overnight sometime in your late 50s or 60s. I hadn't learned about it at school. I didn't hear about it from my mum, my older sister, my aunts, my cousins. It just wasn't a conversation I'd had with anybody. So I was 46 and sort of suddenly experienced this pile up of symptoms that I hadn't had before. I don't have a history of having anxiety or a low mood or insomnia. I've been the world's best sleeper my whole life. So when all of these things started to happen and the wheels started to fall off and it took three months of me going back and forth to my GP, being referred to many, many specialists, going down a lot of rabbit holes from France, when actually what I needed was to see a menopause specialist to talk about fluctuating hormones through the stage of my life. So once I got through that and realised that there were many solutions and things that I could do to look after myself and get myself back on track, I think I got a little bit angry that I had got to 46 and not understood my own mind embodied. I knew more about the life cycle of a monarch butterfly than I knew about my own body and I found that quite irritating. I guess I realised that my friends that were a little bit younger than me or my age actually they didn't know what to expect either. They were actually experiencing peremene pools and they didn't know what was going on. They didn't know how to join the dots either until I started talking about it and, yeah, opened up the conversation. So I thought I've got to do something. I can't do nothing now that I know what I know. So the marketer in me, I guess, and the feminist in me got a bit fired up and thought, okay, I'm going to at least have a dinner with my friends. My older friends would be really supportive in their 50s, 60s, 70s, my younger friends who really wanted to feel more prepared.

Speaker 2: 4:51

I decided to host this dinner and called it Menopause Over Martini. It was just for fun. Barely any of us were drinking, just because most of us don't Well, my friends don't and I don't really but I just wanted to feel fun and celebrate and, I guess, a bit novel, and so we had this pot like dinner and, yeah, eight friends and family came and we just had such a good time. It was fun, it was enlightening, it was informative. No one wanted to go home. I just sort of asked people to leave because I need to go to bed quite early and, yeah, I just thought this is something actually people do want to talk about, it talk about, and they do want to be informed and know what their options are. And so that's where it all began.

Speaker 2: 5:35

But then I realised I couldn't host dinners every night at my dining room table every Saturday night. So that's when I built the website and made the invitation and the conversation, silence and the tips for hosts and all the things that I wish I'd known, the facts and some resources that I that I wish I would have known about sooner. I made those all available for people to explore and host their own events. Whether it's a dinner, whether it's an afternoon tea, whether it's a picnic in a park, I really don't mind what the format is. It's just an idea to start the conversation.

Speaker 1: 6:09

Yeah, I love people can just go to your website and download those resources, can't they? Absolutely. That is so cool. So you, you've started that, but you've gone on to do so many other things. I love that you've decided that. Ok, well, dinners are great because that's sharing, but how can we, how can we raise awareness more broadly? So the next thing I think you did was treat science. Is that correct or is it tea tells?

Speaker 2: 6:42

No, the next thing I did actually was I was part of organising a community event In my neighbourhood for 60 women. So well, those over martinis grew into a community dinner at my local bowling club, which is now a community centre, and we had 60 women come from all over Wellington up the coast upper heart, lower heart, all across Wellington.

Speaker 2: 7:06

Some people came on their own, which I just think is amazing. Some people came with friends, some people brought workmates, yeah, so it was taking the idea of manpower, so martinis, and to a larger scale, I guess, and that was a big success. And then I haven't always. I knew someone who worked in a ministry in the middle of Wellington and they ran lunch and learn sessions about all kinds of things mental health and women's health and all kinds of things and yeah, they asked me if I'd come in and speak at one of the lunch and learn sessions, which you know I hadn't done before. But I thought, oh well, it's a bit like hosting and dinner, I'll just go and I'll see what it's like. Turns up and I thought maybe it'd be half a dozen people, you know also, and there were about 20 people in the room and about 20 people who joined us online and conversation just flowed and I just shared, you know, some, some information about Manifor is what it is, how it can impact people for how long, what it means kind of socially and culturally as well, and people could share their experiences or stories or my comments or ask questions. And I thought, well, if I enjoyed that and if it has an impact, then great, I'll do it again. And it's not like that, Then I won't do it again. And then it's just growing the word got out, I guess, and it's just growing and more workplaces are asking me to come and share my knowledge and my lived experience as a way to kind of inform people in a very conversational way. So I'm hosted by someone else in a workplace and we have a conversation for about half of the hour and then there's a generous amount of time for people to share and contribute in their own way towards the end. And then, yes, I do give away a couple of details at the end which I had designed by a friend so that we could just see the word manapals in the world. I just thought what's a really practical way to get the word manapals into a space where it can be seen and then people can talk about it. So many good conversations have happened over the dishes, so I created two details. One says manapals is hot, join the revolution, and the other one is, and it's in bright red. The other one is in bright orange and it says menopause, but it's split over three lines. So menopause in bright orange and it says, yeah, let's talk about it. So, yeah, the idea is that, over the dishes, maybe a teenager or a partner or a fat mate or a friend or somebody might pick that up and say, oh, what's that? What does that mean? Yeah, yeah. The detail idea then became out the rads on World Manapals Day in 2022.

Speaker 2: 9:47

I managed to get the out work turned into outflow ads that ended up on lightboxes on the Lockheed job network, which are bike stands throughout New Zealand that have a lightbox on one end. So, yeah, big outflow ads. So, yeah, those messages have been out into the world, and last year I developed a series of six outflow ads with different messages just the basic things I wanted people to know about manapals and they ended up in shopping centres throughout the country and, yeah, on 46 screens, I think in about 20 something towns. And then, yeah, on the lightboxes, again on the bike stands. So, yeah, just a way to get the word into the world. It shouldn't be something that's hidden. It shouldn't be something that is embarrassing or that someone's ashamed of to say the word or to ask questions or ask for support.

Speaker 1: 10:40

Yeah, how did you get all of those messages on signs all over New Zealand? Because that's not an easy task and if you have to pay for that, it's a lot of money.

Speaker 2: 10:52

So, fortunately, I knew someone who works in that world and the in the Outdoor Media World, I guess it's called and I had put a post on LinkedIn a couple of years ago saying everyone can do something to raise awareness. And this friend, who's a guy who works in this company, who runs the Lockheedot Network from Big Street Bikeers, his organisation, he just came back to me and said well, I could make some space available on the lightboxes, do you want to do that? And I said, yeah, sure, that would be amazing, because they're digital, there's no production cost, it's just supplying the artwork. And so that was the first that was in. Yeah, that was one year.

Speaker 2: 11:34

And then again, world Banffles Day rolled round again in October 2023. And so I went back from it and said well, what about Six Ads this time? And their network has grown a bit more. So we ended up getting them on in more places across more towns and cities. And then he also works with another company that has lockboxes in other places, including shopping centres, and so they make a certain they're called OMEDIA, orih media and they make a certain amount of space available for good causes to have some exposure, and so I supplied the artwork to them as well, and they just yeah, we're in the world.

Speaker 1: 12:19

That's an incredible achievement right, yeah, well, it's about collaboration.

Speaker 2: 12:25

right, I'm only one person and I can't do anything I have access to everything that I need to launch a nationwide campaign, which is what I would love to see our Ministry of Health or Ministry of Education do. So I just thought what can I do with the resources I've got and the connections I've got to make some kind of difference? And that was one thing I could do. So, yeah, saying yes to people asking people for things and just working together to make something happen.

Speaker 1: 12:54

Yeah, tell me about the evolution of your career through this time, like, how is it you know from the time you were 46 through till now, how has that, how has your career changed?

Speaker 2: 13:07

Well, quite a lot Because, like I said, I never planned, I never sat down and thought, you know, I'd really like to be a public speaker or I'd really like to be an advocate for women's health. That was. They were not two people in my, on my kind of wish list of things to do. And so, yeah, I guess, because my background is marketing and communications, it's a natural progression. I'm used to being in the past, I'm used to being behind other people's brands, other people's stories, other people's companies, and I became very confident, I guess, and confident in doing that for other people.

Speaker 2: 13:43

That was my happy place and, yeah, and I loved being creative about how I did that, and so, while a lot of it was writing, it was often creating a website you know content for a website, or thinking about a company that was going to an expo and needed, you know, banners, or needed posters, or you know all these different things that you need to run a successful campaign for change, which is usually the kinds of projects I work on.

Speaker 2: 14:11

So they're usually inspiring in some way or enlightening in some way or empowering people to do something in some way, and so all of those skills, I guess, and all of that experience just kind of came together when I had this realisation that actually metapals is something that not enough people know about, and so, in a way, I took all that experience and all those skills, jammed them together and, instead of me being one behind the scenes, you know, being at my laptop or interviewing someone and writing the stories and then passing them on to somebody else to deal with them and get them into the world, I decided that I wanted to do that for this. You know, I wanted to be. I was someone who I could do it and I had the experience to do it, the professional experience, but I had the lived experience as well. So it was, in a way, a natural coming together of things.

Speaker 1: 15:03

Yeah, with a life of yeah and so yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:07

I think that's why I find it really satisfying and really something I want to keep doing, because I know I can do it and I can also see the impact of doing it, so it feels like a dream job actually.

Speaker 1: 15:20

That's pretty cool right.

Speaker 2: 15:22

Yeah, get to do your dream job I wanted.

Speaker 1: 15:27

I know that you've written an article recently about what men need to know about menopause and I thought I would share a story first. And so I have two boys. At the moment they're 12 and 14. And I made the decision a few years ago now that I would always be open with them about sex, about women, about relationships and then about menopause, as I've been going through it perimenopause and I was driving somewhere one day and I said we have to stop at the chemist first. I've got to get some prescriptions. They waited in the car.

Speaker 1: 16:09

I went in and got the prescriptions, came out and they were like mom, what did you get? And I said, oh, I got some hormone replacement or I know it's called something different now, but I got hormone replacement and they said, oh, what's that for? And it was that moment of do I talk about this or not? And so I decided to go in and I'm going in wholeheartedly about how women have babies and explain women have periods and what happens when women have periods and releasing of an egg and how women get pregnant. And I talked about the start, I guess, of a fertility journey for a woman and then the end and what happens at the end. Eventually we run out of eggs and we stop producing hormones, and that means that we have different symptoms because of that, and so I take these hormones now to replace what I'm not producing anymore, and it means I'm not so cranky, right? And one of them turned to me and said can we get some of that for dad? It was so funny, but they kind of it's very them, it's very matter of fact.

Speaker 2: 17:23

And could see the point.

Speaker 1: 17:25

Yeah, but I know that you've recently realized that, while women are starting to talk to each other and I think it's a particular generation who've started this I think you know Gen X I really open about talking about menopause and perimenopause and are doing it very vocally. But you know, in your experience I'm been part of that conversation you know what's your experience with helping men understand what all this is about. And I and yeah, and then how did the? How did the article come about?

Speaker 2: 17:58

Yeah, absolutely. I just love that story about you and your boys in the car.

Speaker 1: 18:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:04

So I think I probably started with my own experience of me needing to talk to my partner about perimenopause. I mean, we've got a really open, really good open communication anyway, so it seemed like a natural thing to do, but I know that some people really struggle to speak to their male partners about it. I ended up talking to my you know dad, who was in his early 80s, my brothers who were in their 40s and 50s, my father-in-law, who at the time was in his late 70s. He was fascinated by it and kind of just couldn't really believe that my mother-in-law had been through menopause because they'd never talked about it. And so I feel really fortunate that I was able to learn about menopause with my partner and it meant that he was able to be understanding and supportive. You know, when I needed him to be and I've got, yeah, two teenagers now, but my kids were eight and 11 at the time, boy and a girl and I was really open with them because partly I wanted them to know that I was going to be okay, would find a way through, but also I knew that they were about to go through puberty and so I wanted them to understand, like you, having that understanding of your voice, but this is part of a cycle of life and, yeah, we all need to be informed.

Speaker 2: 19:09

So when I started going to workplaces, that very first event I spoke at, actually, there were three men a couple in the room and one online, and it was the guy in his sixties. Then I'll just never forget this moment because it was just really powerful. He basically thanked me for turning up and having this conversation and talking about how he was now in a new relationship, but his ex-partner had been going through perimenopause and menopause and he hadn't had enough information and therefore hadn't been understanding and wasn't able to give her the support she needed. And he was reflecting on that and wondered would things have worked out differently, would they actually still be together, if they had been able to have this conversation? And I thought, wow, he was the first person outside my inner circle, I guess, of friends and family who had been really open about it. And he just said that, yeah, he felt like he was stuck, stuck between a rock and a hard place. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know when to say it. He felt like if he didn't say anything, then that was the wrong thing as well.

Speaker 2: 20:12

And so, yeah, I just started, yeah, thinking that actually we need to make sure that men are included in this conversation and they feel welcome, because it's one thing for us to be talking about it I mean, we're still learning about it but it's something else if you're on the outside of it feeling like, is it my place to be even in the room? Is it my place to speak up? Is it my place to do anything, say anything? So, yeah, when I send the invitation, you know, out to workplaces for them to share with their people and make sure that it's very much about this is a conversation for everyone, whether you're going through menopause yourself, whether you're not there yet, whether you're out the other side, whether you're someone in a support role, as a manager or a partner or a friend, and yeah, so that just I guess over the last five years of talking about menopause generally, everywhere I go my personal now in my professional life I thought actually there are lots of men telling me that they are curious and that they do want to do the right thing.

Speaker 2: 21:08

So how can I get that message out there and not make it seem like they're useless because they don't know and they'll never understand because they don't go through it themselves, trying to just turn it around and making it a bit more positive and empowering for them to be involved. So it was really just from hearing different people's experiences and also talking to women about what they wanted from their male friends or partners in their life, and so, yeah, that was the beginning of it. And then, because International Women's Day was coming up, I thought, well, obviously there's going to be a lot of talk About women and what women need, which, of course, is that's the purpose of the day. But I think for any movement be successful, we need to have everybody on board, people of all ages, all genders. And so, yeah, I just started by saying International Women's Day can be a day where it can become a little bit like us and them. You know, someone will say, oh, every day should be International Women's Day. And then someone else will say, oh, what about International Men's Day, which of course there is a day? And then someone else might say, well, I think every woman should take the day off to make up for all the time that you know we spend volunteering our time, not being paid equally or fairly in our jobs.

Speaker 2: 22:18

So it started with that and then moved on to what can men actually do? And I had some great examples of things men have told me that you know they really do want to do and have helped. So yeah, I did that and then just finished the article by talking about those five things, and one is just to talk about, talk about it, to normalise it. So get used to saying the word out loud, hearing the word, saying the word. You know it's no different way from the word puberty or pregnancy or prostate. You know they're just words. They're words and they're words with bodies. To just learn about what it is. Learn that it's a hormonal, a series of hormonal changes, and that it impacts people in different ways Over different periods of time. Everyone's experience is different.

Speaker 2: 23:06

And, yeah, for people to know that they can always ask if and how they can help. So you know my partner, for example, after many nights of me not sleeping properly, I'd wake up in the morning. He'd obviously slept through the night and the first thing he would say, when you know we both kind of arrived in the morning was you know how was the night? What do you need? And some days I'd need a hug, some days I'd need to just go out of the house and walk around the block and you know he'd get the kiss Really and sort of a score or whatever. So just to not assume what somebody needs, but to always just ask in a really open way, because from moment to moment, day to day, those needs are going to change.

Speaker 2: 23:46

And just to listen, I think it's really I know myself as a friend and as a parent when you see someone in distress or not happy or struggling, you just want to jump in and you know, save the day, come up with some amazing solution. But actually just listening, yeah, fix it. But just to listen to what someone's telling you Sometimes, just to be able to say I'm just not feeling great today, I just haven't had enough sleep where I'm feeling really irritable or angry or you know something, whatever. That, whatever someone's feeling, just sometimes to say it out loud is enough to for you to kind of pick yourself up and keep going. But other times you actually really need to have a full conversation about it or actually ask someone for some advice.

Speaker 2: 24:28

And so, yeah, I think the first thing is just to listen to what someone's saying and then, yeah, see, see what comes from that. And then the final thing is just to be reassuring and positive. I think when I was in those really dark days of really not understanding what was going on, I needed people to really feel like they would stick by me, give me hope and kind of positivity and reassurance that somehow we were going to find a way through this and that I wasn't going to be going through on my own, because it can be a really isolating and quite a lonely, worrying, confusing time when you don't understand what your mind and body are doing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:05

So those are my kind of key points and just to, yeah, be in this together. It's not something, yeah, that we should feel like we need to hide or pretend.

Speaker 1: 25:16

Yeah, that's such such good advice and I like how you you spend a lot of time with women, helping them talk to each other and understand. Now you're talking about how can men be part of the conversation. There's a lot of talk at the moment about what workplaces should be doing, and part of me like I feel really torn on this. We're putting there are so many expectations on workplaces, which is good because we have so many different people who need to be part of our workplaces and, you know, feel like they have a purpose going to work and they need to feel included. I'm probably torn because I think, yeah, there is so much expectations and how can we manage all the different groups of people? And, Perry, menopause and menopause is one of the things that we're asking organizations to do better at and to support women with. What are some of the tips for organizations that you talk about?

Speaker 2: 26:26

Great question and I have so many answers. Yay, small things and big things. I guess I think it's a combination of things, and a lot of the things don't take a lot of time and money. They just take a little bit of thought and consideration. And actually I've just put on my website a list of 10 things every workplace can do. So that's kind of like a cheat sheet for someone If they, if they are listening to this and think, oh, they want to go and check those out, and so let's say I'll give you the you've got the links to my website, but I'll send you that page.

Speaker 2: 27:00

I think the first thing is to get used to talking about menopause, to open up the conversation and make it seem like it's something to talk about, in the way that you might talk about someone being pregnant at work, or someone going through a bereavement at work, or someone who's got a different kind of health challenge. Yeah and so yeah, by by either someone coming like me, coming in and opening up the conversation, facilitating the conversation, that's one option, but you could also host an event internally. You could find someone in the workplace actually who's got some personal experience that they're able to share, or there might be a manager who's got some experience of working with people going through the stage of life and it could just be really informal. It could be saying, hey, we're going to have a morning tea and we're just going to come together and people can ask questions and share their experiences or stories. Or they might bring some books. You know I've listed lots of resources on my website that people can access, so it might be about bringing a couple of books along to be able to share. Yeah, anything that just gets the word out, heard, seen, because until we can say a word out loud, there's no chance of someone asking someone about it. Looking up a website, looking up a podcast, you know, we just have to get comfortable with the idea that this is a stage of life that, yeah, so many people either directly or directly impatient by that. That would be my first thing.

Speaker 2: 28:26

If an organization and I would hope every workplaces, a health and well-being plan of some sort, um make people that menopause as part of that, you know, as a stage of life, so that it's seen by everyone. There are some people who will create their own independent menopause policy, so independent of the health and well-being plan. That's definitely another option. I've heard from some research from Australia recently that it's a preference for women. I've said that it's a preference for menopause to be part of an existing policy so that it feels like it's an Integral part of it and that it's seen by not just women, so that you know everyone Will access that information, which I think is really important. So, yeah, that's another thing Making sure that managers are up to speed with what menopause is, even just knowing the basics and knowing what to do when someone comes to them and says they might need some support or they're struggling with a particular thing, like you know, like that, those five points that I mentioned just before, just being open and making sure there's time to talk about it, not being dismissive, you know.

Speaker 2: 29:31

Making sure that people feel like there is somewhere to go and there is someone to talk to and the past someone can take. So whether that's being encouraged to talk to a GP if they need that kind of support, being referred to the EAP If a workplace has an EAP or someone in people, in culture, or Whoever it is in the organization who can offer that support, those kinds of things I think you could. And then access to resources, I think is another thing. So, as part of me going in and Starting conversations and workplaces and being hosted by workplaces, is that I provide a whole lot of free resources that are available that can be uploaded to Workplaces intranet, so websites people can go to For you know the latest research or you know tips and different ways to support people. Podcasts people can listen to, like yours Box, people can read Articles that people can, you know, read in their own time or at work. So just a whole lot of things that people can choose to dip in and out of in their own time. But just so that it's visible, so that on a health and well-being hub, on an intranet, for example, that that information is there. There might be a men and falls page or could come under women's house, however people organize it. But yeah, just being sure there's access to those resources, and I think that's a good thing.

Speaker 2: 30:51

And another thing is making sure that people know. I guess as part of that health and well-being policy or plan is what kinds of ways can they be accommodated? So it could be anything from having a death fan of someone's having hot flushes all the time or finding the aircon not quite right, you know, for their temperature, or having access to fresh air, or being able to have a walking meeting. So people are actually moving instead of just, you know, sitting down all the time. You know, walking meetings are a great way to keep moving, but also get fresh air and just being a different, different place. It could be having more frequent Bathroom breaks if they're along meetings or workshops, you know, so that people could people who have heavy periods, for example. I need bathroom breaks more often so that they feel included and not like they're missing out. So, you know, sit through a long meeting like that.

Speaker 2: 31:43

Oh, there's so many things. Having period products and bathrooms is another thing. Yes, you know, the periods become really unpredictable. You know they can be longer or shorter, they can be Closer together or further apart. They can be really heavy. So, and you don't know, maybe you don't have period products with you in that moment. So having things like period products and Bathrooms is a really great idea. And, yeah, just knowing what those reasonable adjustments are, can you start a little bit later if you're not sleeping well, you know, for too long and work a bit later? Um, yeah, so many little things that can be done. Thinking about uniforms if someone's needing to wear uniforms, as it made of natural fibers. Can it be worn in layers so that people can take layers off and then put them back on? Yeah, all of these things. How easy is it to get out of a uniform, you know? I think about someone who might be working in overalls, for example. Yeah, all these different things.

Speaker 1: 32:40

That are great.

Speaker 2: 32:41

They're small in one way, but they can make a huge difference. Yeah, and I can see. They don't Cost a lot of money and take a lot of time. It's just about getting a sense of what someone might need, and that's different for everybody, obviously. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:56

Such good tips and I think my favorite and I may have seen that same research you were referring to about having a policy that can be used for multiple people and multiple situations Women in perimenopause and menopause, I don't think, need a specific policy just for them. They need something that under a health and well-being policy that they can access like anyone else who has Any kind of thing that they might need an accommodation for. So, yeah, I.

Speaker 1: 33:31

Would say most women don't want to go to their manager and say I'm having a hot flush, I need to use this thing under this policy. It's like yeah. I just want to do my job, but I need help to do it effectively.

Speaker 2: 33:43

Yeah, yeah it's about anything we can do to reduce the stigma and you know, listen to boo. So, yeah, all of those things make a difference and simply by talking about it just makes a huge difference. The number of people who have said to me what a relief it is, you know, to be Invited to an event to talk about this, just to get it out in the open and so that they know the next day they go to work. They don't have to pretend, you know, when they're having a hot flush, or that, I pretend, when they're suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed, they can actually talk to someone and just and that person will you know, instead of Giving them an eye roll or making a directory comment, they will actually just feel like, oh, it's okay, I get it. What? How can we work together? Or do you need in this moment? Because it's not, it's not permanent. You know it's a temporary Stage of life, but even in the moment of a hot flush, that's temporary as well. It seems huge in time, but it'll pass within seconds or minutes.

Speaker 2: 34:36

Yeah yeah, so yeah, keeping perspective on it, I think it's really important.

Speaker 1: 34:42

Yeah, what are your plans? How do you have a plan for this year's World Minnipaw's Day, are you like? Are you going for world domination?

Speaker 2: 34:56

Yeah, I've been asked to speak. It's haven't yet been confirmed. I've been asked to speak at a conference in the health sector. So that would be amazing to reach a lot of people working. Yeah, because a lot of women obviously we're in, well, in lots of different sectors, but Female dominated sectors like education and the health, hospitality, tourism, retail. You know they're huge sectors. We're a lot of women work and, especially in midlife, a lot of those workplaces are made up of, you know, that demographic.

Speaker 2: 35:25

So, yeah, I'd like to be doing, I'd like to. Well, my plan really is to reach as many people as possible in the most efficient and creative way that I can, which means, you know, talking to large organizations, medium-sized organizations, small organizations, networks of people, because the network obviously Then means that you can reach many more people. I'd like to see more community events happening, so I will be. I'm hoping to do another frox on bikes event in Wellington, which is the group of women who come together to school across town, and we did that last World Minnipaw's Day. We started in on Wellington's waterfront and we Cycled through town, across town. A whole bunch of us ended up and Newtown, which is the sub of Wellington, and we all came together to, yeah, share our experiences and learn something from each other About men, of course, there.

Speaker 2: 36:17

So, yeah, things like that I'd like to see More of. And, yeah, I mean, ultimately, I like to see a nationwide campaign that isn't just Made possible because I ring a friend or a friend officer to me a favor. I'd like to see a nationwide campaign, you know, rolled out so that everyone can see a poster on a GPS notice board Everyone can see, can receive a letter, like we do for mammograms and cervical screening, to say, hey, I, this is something you need to know about. I'd love to see, you know, secondary school students are learning about menopause as part of the cycle of life, when they learn about humility and about, you know, pregnancy and the other stages of life that our teenagers are learning about. So, yeah, there are many things I'd like to see. I'm just working my way as best I can to feed into some of those ideas. Yeah, with whoever I can. Yeah, whoever's keen.

Speaker 1: 37:12

I love all of that Particularly. It's so.

Speaker 1: 37:17

It's so challenging, I think, for GPs to be well educated in this area but it's also very challenging for people like us when we go to the GP and we're looking for help, and I've had a couple of experiences both in Singapore, where I lived before New Zealand, and more recently here in New Zealand. Yeah, you know, I know it's hard for GPs to be across every single thing happening in the community but it does make it challenging. When I go, you know, I try to go in armed and educated and wanting to have a conversation and sometimes not being able to do that effectively.

Speaker 2: 37:58

So, yeah, Well, not feeling 100%. You know, if you're feeling understated, feeling a bit anxious, or you're feeling a bit low, it's really hard to go on and advocate for yourself as well. Yeah, my partner came with me to GP appointments just so that I felt like I had someone else on my team to even just remember things or be able to explain really what it was like. And so, yeah, that's that can be quite challenging. I think the I totally appreciate the GPS really stretch.

Speaker 2: 38:26

You know they're managing so many different things and 15 minute appointment is, you know, not enough to get a full picture often of really what's going on for anyone. I mean, when I finally saw a meaningful specialist, the first concert was 45 minutes, it was private and he said to pay, which really bugs me because I think that shouldn't be something, that what I was able to pay but not everyone can pay. That's my point I guess there in equity, yeah, but you really do need 45 minutes to go through everything in detail sometimes and then a follow up appointment afterwards to really reassess everything and, you know, work out as how things now. But I think at the very least, if a GP doesn't feel like they do have the right information or the latest research, or they don't think capacity, just to make sure that someone knows what the next step is. Is there?

Speaker 1: 39:15

a specialist.

Speaker 2: 39:16

Yeah yes. Another option. Apparently they do offer some kind of meaningful support and some clinics, and then clinics across the country that were actually accessible to everyone.

Speaker 1: 39:32

Yes.

Speaker 2: 39:33

At the moment there is a list of GPS and health professionals or the special interest in menopause on the Australasian menopause society website. So, regardless of what region you are joining from, when you're listening to this on that website, menopauseorgau and think it is Under consumer information, there's a list of their members who have a special interest in menopause, so that's a good place to start. If you're on GP Brilliant Brilliant, your own GP is the right person for you.

Speaker 1: 40:08

Brilliant.

Speaker 2: 40:10

Or just to kind of ask their practice reception, like who in the practice is the best GP to see about this? Because some are more, they've done special training or they've got a special interest so they've pursued it and got more information.

Speaker 1: 40:24

Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea, because one of the things that happened to me recently was I went to the GP, who I thought was going to be great, but she was referring to a website about the medication I should be taking and I'm like, yeah, there were lots of issues with that. So with being referred to a website inside a practice and not actually having a conversation about all you know what's going on for me and why am I on this dosage anyway, Love that advice. That's great advice yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:57

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 40:58

How can people work with you and get in contact with you, Sarah?

Speaker 2: 41:02

So I have two websites because I first started this the website where I, you know, featured the invitation and the resources and the tips for guests and hosts and things. So many of those over martinisorg that's. That's one place to go and I've shared a whole lot of resources. You know books to read, podcasts, listen to articles, various projects I've been involved in on that website. Or if you're someone who would like me to come into your workplace and facilitate a conversation for your people, then my website is Sarah Connor, dot code on Z, so just my name, dot code on Z and you'll see on there my writing and my speaking work and under my, under the speaking pilot website, you'll see the kinds of events that I can be involved in, and one is a kind of general awareness raising event for everybody and everyone's welcome to come to. That could be virtual or it could be in person.

Speaker 2: 42:03

I also run an event which is specifically for leaders and managers, so that they understand, you know, why are we talking about this in workplace, why it's important and also the role that they can play in changing that mindset and changing the culture to make it more inclusive and, you know, making sure that they're aware of the pathway that people can take and making sure that the support is in place.

Speaker 2: 42:27

And actually recently I was. I spent three days at a rural women's event called the shepherdess muster, halfway between a porcupine and Tara Fiti, because when and I was part of a main event, a keynote event, but also then I ran to workshops. After that we're just in small groups of people, so around a table and also people almost like hosting menopause of martinis, but without the dinner, and we just, yeah, people were able to share their experiences, their stories, they could ask questions. We talked about what people can do in workplaces, so there's also the potential to run smaller events if a workplace has a group of people who want to come together in a more intimate and more personal way to talk about menopause that way. That's another option.

Speaker 1: 43:10

Yeah, so many great ways to work with you.

Speaker 2: 43:15

Yeah, and actually also I started writing for organizations who want to get the message out through their newsletters or websites or internet, that kind of thing. So that's another option, because when I'm not speaking, I'm writing.

Speaker 1: 43:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for sharing today, sarah. It's been an absolute pleasure speaking with you and I've learned a lot today and I've spoken with you before and I've still learned more today, so thank you. Well, thank you for having me.