Ever wondered how to elevate the love and connection in your marriage to amazing new heights? That's precisely what we unpacked after returning from an immersive marriage retreat we put on, that left us, and all others that attended, transformed.
Join us as we share insights from the retreat we hosted with marriage experts Greg and Julie Gorman, who imparted wisdom on transforming the master bedroom into an intimate sanctuary free from the world's clamor, and many other marriage tips.
If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why over 700,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!
WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE
The Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Course can be found HERE
The Intimacy and Adventure Marriage Retreat to connect on a deeper level as a couple! Find out more at https://ultimateintimacy.com/retreats/
Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.
If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.
Ever wondered how to elevate the love and connection in your marriage to amazing new heights? That's precisely what we unpacked after returning from an immersive marriage retreat we put on, that left us, and all others that attended, transformed.
Join us as we share insights from the retreat we hosted with marriage experts Greg and Julie Gorman, who imparted wisdom on transforming the master bedroom into an intimate sanctuary free from the world's clamor, and many other marriage tips.
If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why over 700,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!
WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE
The Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Course can be found HERE
The Intimacy and Adventure Marriage Retreat to connect on a deeper level as a couple! Find out more at https://ultimateintimacy.com/retreats/
Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.
If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.
You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship. We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life. Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun. The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick and Amy, and we are extremely excited today about today's episode. We, as you know, or you should know, we just finished our marriage retreat and it was phenomenal. I mean, every time we do a retreat, it's just we come away from it just amazed how incredible they are and just really think we're just amazed at how beneficial they are as well for us, right For us and for everybody Like we.
Speaker 3:Just I don't know there's something unifying about it Coming together, talking, marriage talking, spiritual, talking, how to do better what? People are suffering with. We strengthen each other. The activities, the food, the company was amazing, but the instruction was beyond amazing, like I don't think anybody left the retreat not feeling renewed in their marriage right, and I think if people really knew what they were getting at these retreats.
Speaker 2:I mean we would seriously be doing them every single week the whole entire year. Thousands of people, like literally. They are amazing and, like Amy said, the activities we do, the food that we have, the instructors, greg and Julie Gorman, with Married for a Purpose are phenomenal. So we wanted to kind of just share some of the things that jumped out at us during this retreat, during the instruction, and just that we had a big impact. So we kind of wanted to just share those thoughts with you and think they can have an impact on your relationship as well on your relationship as well.
Speaker 3:And I just wanted to add, I think, that everybody, every single couple that came to the retreat, possibly came for a different reason, like I think some just wanted to get away and have a retreat for their marriage just an escape, some adventure, some fun, some connecting, some intimacy. There were couples that come with some things that they really need to work on and really need to get educated about and really talk about. There's couples that have great marriages that just want to make it even better. Right, like, whatever level. We have couples that have been married 30, 40 years and we have couples that have been married a year and just everybody's looking for tools to strengthen and improve their marriage. And even we come out with so much, so much from it, right, oh?
Speaker 2:yeah, I often say that I kind of do this retreat selfishly because I I learned so much as well. I just sit, I just sit in the back and just like everyone else and listen to the instruction and I'm just like amazed, I'm like, oh, I can, we can implement that in our marriage and all that can help us as well.
Speaker 3:And I think that's everybody. I think like, no matter how much knowledge you have or experience you have, you always learn from other people, and that's what's so great about bringing people together and just being focused on marriage relationships for days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think too oftentimes we think, oh, a marriage retreat, we have to be in a bad place to go to a marriage retreat. But actually our marriage retreats are marketed for couples that have good marriages that want to make them even better. If you look at our marriage retreats, they tend to focus on communication and sexual intimacy and how to make those things better.
Speaker 2:Even better, even better, in your marriage. So, yeah, let's jump in and talk about some of the things that kind of hit home for us that we thought were just awesome.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I hope that you love this episode. It's going to be different topics that we just pulled out of the retreat that we just we loved. Like we said, hit home for us. There's a couple that we're going to do full podcasts on because it was so beneficial, so, anyways, we'll just jump in. But Greg and Julie, they're amazing. The first thing that really not the first, but one of the biggest things that really caught me wanting to make notes, take notes is when they talk about leaning into each other, and if you visually in your mind, visualize leaning into each other in your marriage, leaning into all aspects of your marriage, you picture a couple holding hands, embracing, leaning shoulder, like really leaning into each other. And so they talked about how every aspect of the relationship we really need to lean into each other. It's a partnership, it's it's a team, right, like you can't have a great marriage unless you're being a team in all those aspects.
Speaker 2:So and when I, when I hear leaning into each other, I think of depending on each other. Right, you got each other's back and and you both know that that you're on the same team and got each other's back no matter what.
Speaker 2:And I also think, when they talk about leaning into each other, like we saw a lot of almost every couple there was holding hands and hugging and you could just tell they were really, uh, connected right and trying to connect and so when I think leaning into each other again, just really relying on each other and having that connection, and yeah, so when they think leaning into each other again, just really relying on each other and having that connection, yeah, so when they got into talking about this, we got into which we've shared before and we talk about this a lot, but your spouse is the only person who can quench some of your thirst in your marriage.
Speaker 3:And so that kind of dove into the sexual intimacy and the emotional intimacy and how I know we talked about this, but how your spouse, your sexual needs, a lot of your emotional needs, can only be fulfilled by your spouse, nobody outside of the marriage. And how important it is to when you really realize how important that you have to take care of each other's needs, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's leaning yeah. And I don't want to use the word obligation, but you almost do have an obligation to fulfill each other's needs and take care of each other's needs, because they are different and they are needs. They are things that equate to a long and happy marriage we all have needs. Yeah, absolutely yeah, everyone's marriage needs might look differently, but when you, when you get married and say I do, you're basically agreeing to serve one another and take care of one another through thick and thin and just working and being one.
Speaker 3:Beautiful, leaning in is becoming one. The next thing that I just loved let me flip through this here. We talked a lot, okay. So this, this retreat was more focused on communication when it comes to sexual intimacy, and of course, we talked tons about emotional intimacy, because that comes first. But when you're talking about the sexual intimacy, it makes it more vulnerable and open to talk about all the emotional needs too right, because they go hand in hand. And so Julie and Greg dove into this next quote I want to share that says your bedroom should be a place for you to retreat. Your bedroom needs boundaries. Boundaries create security. And we talked I think it was Julie that shared, I think just how that one bedroom, your master bedroom, should be that place in your house where you retreat, where it's that place you can escape from everything and be with your spouse.
Speaker 2:It should be something different than the rest of the house.
Speaker 3:It should feel different. Maybe that to you means clean and organized, or no phones or no TVs. It's different, it's that escape and where you can be intimate with your spouse.
Speaker 2:I love that, especially at night right, especially at night and talking about setting boundaries, how you really need to set boundaries, and they're so funny, they just make me laugh the whole time. But they talk about how they set boundaries with their kids and, hey, when the door is locked, this is our time, this is what we're doing and how it's good for your kids to know that, hey, this is a safe, private place for mom and dad and mom and dad need their alone time. And I loved how they talked about the different boundaries and things like that as well absolutely.
Speaker 3:Um, I think this was what Greg said. You have authority over your home. You owe it to your kids and spouse to rise into that authority, and what he started talking about was like leading by example, like when we talk about the bedroom boundaries you really put in place in your marriage what that looks like to your kids If you're allowing them to sleep in your bed all the time. You're allowing that Like you're not having authority over that, and how important creating that authority and showing your kids this is our retreat space, this is the rules for our bedroom or for our home, makes a huge impact on your marriage.
Speaker 3:It does I don't think people realize that right.
Speaker 2:It does, and I mean I left away from there thinking we need to have a little more authority as well.
Speaker 3:A little more authority as well, a little more not strict, but more. This is this is our time tonight. I need you guys to get to sleep, or you have until nine o'clock or whatever that looks like. It doesn't have to sound powerful or demanding, but if you do it in a loving way and just really make your kids respect those boundaries that you set, I think that changes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when you put the boundaries in place and say these are the boundaries, these are the rules most likely, as long as you stick to those, they're going to respect those boundaries.
Speaker 3:For sure. That's key is sticking to those and making sure that they are respected right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think kids. I love that conversation that we had because I think kids need to see authority and be taught respect.
Speaker 2:And they need to have those boundaries too.
Speaker 3:It's very important for your marriage. We'll probably do another episode on that because there's just a lot to talk about when it comes to just the whole bedroom, that whole retreat feeling you know in your marriage and keeping that an intimate space, if you look at the reason why people come to the marriage retreats it's to get away.
Speaker 2:right, it's to get away, and so I love that they use the word retreat for their bedroom too. It's a place they're safe and away, and to get away from everything.
Speaker 3:I love that. We all need like that retreat right. The next one that I loved this is a whole other subject in itself was essentialism, and if you don't prioritize your life, someone or something else will.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought that was really powerful as well, and I think that's so true. Like you can notice that in anything like the second, you don't prioritize something, whether it's technology, or whether it's friends or family or whatever you know, or someone else Like the second, you lose that someone else is going to fill that void or take that place Absolutely, or something, someone or something else.
Speaker 3:So if your marriage really is the priority, you can only have one priority. You can have tons of things that are important, but you can have one priority. That's what makes it a priority. You can only have one priority. You can have tons of things that are important, but you can have one priority. That's what makes it a priority. We talked about that again.
Speaker 2:And I like that. I like that too, because you can only have one priority. So you have to decide what is your number one priority, and hopefully it's your spouse, right, and then everything else is just important things that you got to do, right.
Speaker 3:Well, of course God, but we're talking like on a daily, like what is the most important thing? It's God. Yeah, it's God, but in your schedule after God found like it should be spouse, right?
Speaker 2:Your priorities should be your spouse.
Speaker 3:It should be your spouse which takes us to. He talked about how to change your marriage. Do one thing. He says do not start a bunch of things. You start with one thing, because you will overwhelm yourself if you add more than one thing to your list. And I thought you know that's really good advice. And he said if you can ask your spouse just one thing, it's how can I support you today? Just name one thing I can do to help support you better today. And that tip is marriage changing. I think that we try. Oh, I need to start doing date nights better. I need to get off my phone at night. I need to set boundaries. I need to text off my phone at night. I need to set boundaries. I need to text my spouse during the day. Did I already say that Like?
Speaker 3:we can come up with all these things in our mind that like to make a better marriage, but if we literally even just once a week or even every day, we ask our spouse what is the one thing I can do better today as a spouse to prioritize you or a marriage?
Speaker 2:Just one thing, well, and I think too often times this is probably one of the big reasons why couples just can't seem to make things better in their relationship is they look at things and feel like they're gonna have to climb Mount Everest right, like all the things that they have to fix are insurmountable, or things like that, and I love it truly is really the little simple things or the simple thing that will have a transformational impact on your marriage. So, like you said, hitting those little things, it's not, it doesn't need to be overwhelming, it doesn't feel like, oh, this is insurmountable, why even try? Like, if you really do, just change your thoughts, which they talk about a lot, and just change the little things, those are the things that are going to have significant impacts on your relationship.
Speaker 3:Significant Agreed. I think it was Greg or Julie, I don't know which one Said we do maintenance on our cars, we do maintenance on our bodies, we do maintenance on our homes. Are you doing the maintenance on your marriage relationship?
Speaker 2:Well, we've had a podcast subject on that right. Like even I think it was for maintenance, sex right, like you know. So yeah, I mean we do. We do all these maintenance to keep our marriage, so to speak, or keep things from breaking down. Why would we not do those things in our marriage?
Speaker 3:Well, it really comes down to priorities again, right, like when you look at your day, you're like, oh, I got to make it to the gym, I got to work. My career is very important. I got to feed my kids, I got to take care of myself, I got to fix this on the house, and we put all those things at the top of the list.
Speaker 2:And then we put, oh, I'm too tired now, I don't have time to prioritize my marriage because I put everything else first today, and that's what most people do and I would say, for a time in our marriage that was the way it was too it was like survival mode, right yeah like I prioritized, you know so many things above our marriage, so to speak, or your needs. So, yeah, we're totally guilty of that.
Speaker 3:I think everybody's guilty of that. But isn't it interesting, though, that so many people really do like I have to make it to the gym today. That's like oh, that's at 9 am right, nothing's going to stop me. Nothing's stopping me. I have to watch this show tonight because it's on whatever at 7 pm. I got to take my kids to this this and this today. That's very important.
Speaker 2:But there's never anything about marriage or never anything about your spouse. Typically it's like oh, you both go to bed exhausted and we'll see you in the morning. We'll do the same thing over.
Speaker 3:What if you I mean, if we're talking about doing one simple thing to change your marriage? What if you prioritize sexual intimacy right when you woke up? Or what if you literally put in your phone I am going to text my spouse how much I love them today at one o'clock?
Speaker 2:even if you need a reminder like there are simple, simple things you can do to still show your spouse their number one and those simple things that only take a little bit of time are game changers. Like we said, if, if one day you woke up and or one day you sent your spouse a really nice text message and then the next day you, you know whatever I mean every day you kind of just did something to show your spouse you love them. I mean, how much would that change your relationship?
Speaker 3:What if a couple was to sit down on Sunday night right before their work week started and they had a Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, like on paper? And they looked at each other and said how can I be a better spouse to you each day? And the husband's like you know, I would love it if we could prioritize being intimate twice. And the wife's like, okay, let's put that first on my calendar Tuesday and Friday or whatever. And then the wife said I would really really love it if you did this. And the husband wrote that number one on Monday morning and they talked about every single day what feeling loved would look like to them and they noted it down.
Speaker 3:Just one simple thing that'd be so easy it'd be so easy to do and it would be so impactful on marriage, but so many people are like that's weird, or I don't want to write it down, or I don't want to have that discussion, or don't are not even willing to like. Do something. That simple, right?
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, that's marriage changing.
Speaker 3:So do maintenance on your marriage. I loved that we talked about that. Um, the next thing hold on finding. Jump back to the first the next one was your kids need to see the light-heartedness of your marriage, the fun, the friendship and the flirting, and not just the heavy stuff.
Speaker 2:I loved that yeah, there was someone, I think someone asked a question, said hey, you know, my, our, our step. My stepdaughter saw me pat my wife's butt and said oh, that's gross, that's so weird. And anyways it started a conversation and know they basically talk about how important it is for your children to see that playfulness, that flirting, that love and affection. I mean they're basically going to mimic or mirror what they see you doing growing up, like I mean that's how they're going to envision their marriage to be.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and you want your kids to want to get married one day, right?
Speaker 2:And hopefully they'll put their spouse first, if that's what they see you doing in yours.
Speaker 3:So I think it's important to let them see how important date night is to you, that you're flirting with each other. He brought up not just the heavy stuff, and I think they see a lot of us being stressed out, worn out.
Speaker 2:Frustrated.
Speaker 3:Frustrated and upset, maybe a little bit naggy, and pretty much that's just showing your kids that marriage isn't super fun.
Speaker 2:Man, maybe marriage sucks. Maybe I don't want to be married.
Speaker 3:Right, like we don't want to show them that. Well it's funny.
Speaker 2:We've had our daughter that's 14 years old yesterday. She's like I can't wait to get married. And we're like, oh, do you realize how hard it's going to be? And I think you know.
Speaker 3:They need to see both yeah.
Speaker 2:So, anyways, my point is is Amy and I try to do a good job of practicing what we preach, and and not just that, but we do have a good marriage. But obviously we want our kids to see um, you know that we're going on date nights and be an example for them. But I thought it was interesting that my daughter was like I can't wait to get married. Yeah, it's awesome Thinking that, that, thinking that marriage is just going to be awesome and amazing, which it should be, but they don't quite understand all the work that it takes as well too.
Speaker 3:A lot of it just has to be a correct balance right, because so many kids are like I don't want to get married. This looks awful, like you just have to. It's hard but it still can be really fun, and that's where, like you said, having that retreat.
Speaker 2:So what we're saying is you know, find that balance and don't be afraid to flirt and do fun things and set a really good example for your kids, because they do need to see that.
Speaker 3:I love that Julie and Greg talk so much about flirting Just how to flirt, what that looks like in marriage, how to stay cute and passionate about each other. I mean, they've been through some real hard stuff and here they are, decades later, still flirting still laughing giggling together they're just darling and I love, I love learning from them I do too um, a thing we talked about quite a bit was the word reclaim and what it means to reclaim your marriage take it back to take it back, take it back to don't you think?
Speaker 2:to take it back to the good old days, yeah reclaim your marriage, whatever, wherever point you're at, take it back to what you want it to be. Reclaim that and it, oh it's just so frustrating, like it's not that difficult. It really isn't. Yes, it's. It's hard work and it takes constant effort, but it really isn't that difficult if you both want it.
Speaker 3:Just put in that work I was gonna say key, both want it. Yeah, because if one person just wants to reclaim the marriage, another one's not willing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nothing you can do, it doesn't work right. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:Yep, it was awesome.
Speaker 2:It was awesome. This is just a small recap.
Speaker 3:We'll hit on some of these a little bit harder.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but really, you know, you really should go check out um more about our intimacy and adventure retreat. I mean, we did some amazing things. We have people from all over the country. We have people from other countries um, every single one of them. I love sending out feedback forms after and saying how was the food, how was the activities, how was the hotel and how's the company?
Speaker 3:how's the instruction?
Speaker 2:and so far everything coming back has been on a scale of one to five five across the board yeah, and so people really had a great time. In fact, most of them that have replied have said they plan to come back to another retreat that we're doing, so it's a great time. We have some great activities. The food is phenomenal. If you've never been to the St George area, southern Utah, we're about 35 minutes from Zion National Park. It's just absolutely gorgeous.
Speaker 3:And the Grand Canyon. We're about an hour right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think we're getting the next one on the schedule for next March, so go check it out at ultimateintimacycom. Hit the retreats button.
Speaker 3:And if you're on Instagram at ultimateintimacyapp, we have a highlight. We just started with our stories and it's retreat 24, and so if you wanna go see some pictures that we posted, you can go back and go to the highlight or the retreat page. I don't think we've updated the retreat page with new photos. Nope, not yet, but it is on Instagram and Facebook on the highlight.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And bottom line if you want to reclaim your marriage literally and have the time of your life enjoying the adventure together, incredible instruction from Greg and Julie Gorman. Married for a purpose. Have amazing food. See some scenery you'll probably see nowhere else in the rest of your life. Check it out, let us know. If you have any questions as well, shoot us an email. We're happy to help out or answer any questions.
Speaker 3:And there's limited spots at our retreat. So if you want to get on the list to be put in first, or just get information first, email us back after this podcast at amy. Email us amy at ultimate intimacycom.
Speaker 2:We'll send you that list so that when we yeah whoever's on the list will be the first ones that we contact and give the opportunity to sign up for, so so yeah, we have big news today yeah, big news me I'm amy's pregnant no oh, that, never mind, that's not news no too old for that, um dumb having children.
Speaker 3:The big news is that we have been months in the work and they finally arrived. Finally arrived yesterday.
Speaker 2:They are now launched in the shop position volume two card deck yeah, if you liked our position volume one, you'll love the position volume two, and we just added a ton of new, uh bedroom things to the shop as well too. Everything kind of hit this week to where we have like three or four new products.
Speaker 3:Uh, my new card deck card deck.
Speaker 2:So check it out at shopultimateintimacycom. We have a ton of great stuff to help your intimacy in your relationship.
Speaker 3:And thank you for supporting our shop and it helps us keep our podcast going. We really appreciate every single order and if you have any questions on any of the products or the retreat or anything, just throw us an email. We'll get back to you quick yeah, sounds good, love it.
Speaker 2:So we hope all of you enjoyed the podcast and until next time. We hope each of you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.