I'm back New Year 2023 with Season 6 !!! It's incredible that I'm hitting TWO YEARS hosting Real Beauty with FD and I LOVE every second of it ! Thank you all for joining me.
For the next two episodes I'm honored to be joined by body-peace coach Nina Manolson.
Hit me up at @choosandfashiondoos
I'm back New Year 2023 with Season 6 !!! It's incredible that I'm hitting TWO YEARS hosting Real Beauty with FD and I LOVE every second of it ! Thank you all for joining me.
For the next two episodes I'm honored to be joined by body-peace coach Nina Manolson.
Hit me up at @choosandfashiondoos
Happy new year, everyone. Can you believe we are officially in 2023? Holy. Shit. It is wild how quickly time is going, but I am glad to be back with a new season. So this is season six. Of real beauty with AFDC. So wildly. I have now been doing this podcast for nearly two years. And it has literally been the best thing I have done. I'm super, super excited to be continuing. And I have a great gassed. Who is up and will be speaking to us about. Body peace from within and also touching on resolutions Speaking of resolutions. Have you already made yours for the year? Do you make them on a yearly basis? I know for me, I do. And I truly try to take advantage of it being like a new year, new star. Opportunity to kind of write down the things that I want to accomplish. So I will write from a professional standpoint of, this is what I want to. Kind of ambitiously get after when it comes to work. And I always for sure, try and manifest a promotion. And I was fortunate enough at the end of last year to get the promotion that I was.. It's always good to continue to shoot for the stars. Right. From a podcast on point, I really feel that this has continued to mold and. Kind of change what I had originally envisioned for some of these conversations, which I love. As I feel like they are on a much deeper level. And selfishly I've mentioned this before, but I feel like I have gained so much from a lot of these conversations. It's kinda like him having therapy. Outwardly, um, with some of my questions and searching and research. And sometimes I forget that people even listen to this. So I can, I appreciate the fact, if you were still with me. After two years. You were the best and clearly you're my best friend. Um, and you're not sick of my voice, which I really, really appreciate. The other piece is I'm going to really try and be kinder to myself and how I view my body. And I'm definitely not in. The shape I was when I was 20, nor 25, but I also understand realistically that. I'm older and my body's gone through a lot. I've also had a baby. And I feel like I put so much pressure on how I look physically, instead of thinking about, I want to exercise or be fit because. Like I want to be healthier or because I feel good. So I'm really trying to kind of change that mindset and do this to genuinely feel good about myself and not because. The other day I went into Zara and a size Meagan didn't fit me. I had to get a large, again, anyone that shops Asara they know their sizing is ridiculous. And. I am and have continued to be over the last, like, God knows how many years. Being a size six to four, or I guess a four to six. Um, So, anyway, I just want to try and be kinder to myself. And. How can I continue this conversation and promote this kind of openness with my girlfriends too, as I am really conscious that. Like so often we all kind of put ourselves down and I want to be the one to advocate for change. And if any of my girlfriends are kind of making comments and we discuss this Nina. I really want to kind of do better on. Promoting people upwardly and not kind of bouncing on the bandwagon and being like, oh yeah, I feel like shit too. And oh yeah. Let's just not have this piece of cake has having forbid, we might put on like a stone by eating that one piece. Um, so I feel like I need to do. Better. Um, not just for myself, but with others. So, yeah, I do have like a number of. Cool things I'm trying to kinda. Get after this year. And the other thing that I actually just recently created. Um, so if you're interested, go check it out. It's my Etsy store. And it's called choose teas and I've kind of fixated on. I love like a simple white tee and I feel like you can dress it up, dress it down, but I love those kinds of statement tees. So I'm going to see Taylor swift this year and selfishly, I decided to make my own t-shirt. So I have a couple of options and like crop top in normal teas. I'm also obsessed with Leslie Knope, from parks and rec. If I was any character. A hundred percent be her and if any of my colleagues are listening they will know that for a fact anyways, I will. Finish this here. Cause if not my God, I will like continue to ramble So please enjoy episode one, season six. Real beauty with FD. Thanks for joining.
francene:hi, Nina.
nina:Hi Francine. So nice
francene:we. We did it. We made it.
nina:Excellent. Excellent. Good. Good. Very good. I am, um, usually coming to you from Boston, which is where I live. Yeah. But right now I am in Sandal Island in Florida. Oh, wow. On the west, west side of Florida. Um, and it's particularly in Oh, wow. Because they got hit very badly during hurricane. Yeah, which is three months ago. So it's um, the best way to describe the island. Um, and we've been coming down, my mom has a place here, we've been coming down for 30 some years. Um, is post-apocalyptic. Oh my
francene:gosh. Was there a lot of damage? Like, was your mom okay? Her
nina:property? So she was not here, nobody was here. Everybody was required to leave. Mm-hmm. um, her property. So on sandal, depending on when you built, people either built on the ground like a regular house or they were required cuz it was built a little bit later on. Stilts. Okay. Yeah. So her house is on stilts. Um, but there was a downstairs area room and bathroom. That room was submerged in six feet of. Oh my gosh. Which basically means anybody who was built on the ground, their house is, is destroyed completely and everything completely drenched in saltwater and mud. Oh
francene:gosh. That is so sad. So how long are you guys
nina:there for? Um, so we are here, my mother. So my mother is 90. She's the most intrepid, brave human being you will ever meet. She's outrageous. And she was like, no, I'm gonna go down. And I was like, EV, everybody on the street was like a, this is not a good idea. And she was like, well, I, I don't know what it is. I don't know what I can do unless I can see it. Yeah. Came down, she got the electricity working, she got water running the kitchen and bedrooms were untouched. The front was sort of, was damaged. So floors went up. Ceilings came down. Yeah. So we've been very busy. Oh, I bet. Um, Yeah. Really reconstructing. And um, and last night it was very sweet. We went out, you have to go off island to get anything now cuz there's no infrastructure here. Mm-hmm. like, it, it all exists but nobody's in it. It's very weird. Um, and uh, like, just like you Dr. I'm gonna put post a video on social media cuz everybody's like, what's it like there? I'm like, you can't even imagine. Um, and. uh, So, um, we went post Christmas sales. We just bought a ton of white twinkle lights and it was like, and put them all on the outside because I saw one, one other house on sandal with lights, and it was a little like a beacon. Yeah. Like, we're still here.
francene:Yeah. Like, we're here too. We're
nina:here too, so we're just like, so anyway, so a little more dramatic than me sitting in my office in Boston. Oh,
francene:I'm sure. I'm sure. Also, it's nice for your mom to be able to go back there and start kind of building up and getting back to like home again.
nina:Yeah, a little bit. A little bit.
francene:So your Christmas, um, our holiday season is probably being a lot more emotional.
nina:Um, yeah. It's, it's poignant. You know, you get clear on what's really important. Yeah,
francene:it's true. It is true. I'm, um, so I have a four and a half year old and. You know, I appreciate that, that it is this time of year, especially for kids as they grow older, it's, you know, Santa brings presents and it's such a big deal and sometimes it seems like it's too much about the stuff and what am I gonna get and when do I get the next candy. So we're constantly trying to, as much as we can, keep her grounded and be like, Hey, it's not about this. And, you know, yeah. Totally fringe or, you know, other kind of, Things that we can kind of represent a different story, that it's about who you spend your time with and being together and appreciating that and appreciating what you have in life. Yeah, but it's hard. I remember being younger and being like, okay, whatever mom, dad stuff, like Sure.
nina:Um, sure. But the
francene:stuff though, we, we try, um, especially, um, you know, me and my husband, we try not to spoil her, but at the same time we look back in our childhood, which was great, like, no, no complaints at all. But at the same time, it's like I want to be able to spoil her and do nice stuff for her and, you know, do nice experiences, but there's such a fine line of, you also just don't want her just to expect it, you know? Totally not, not easy at this time of year, especially even just as an adult, like social media is. You know, an interesting platform, how it shows such great things, but at the same time it's so hard not to compare or be like, wow, they got some great presents, or the house looks amazing and I can't even compete, you know? Um, but before we deviate onto different topics, cuz I have a number of ones I wanna speak to you about. I wanna welcome you Nina to, um, real Beauty with f. Um, so this is a place where we discuss what beauty means to us, whether it's a product that sells out every second around the world, or cult classic to discussing body positivity, to building incredible brands. We are here to find your little black dress in skincare makeup, and more importantly, promoting happiness within your own skin and owning. Each episode, I'm bringing in a new personality to discuss all things, beauty and touch on their inspiring stories. And this week we have Nina Olsen, Mandelson.
nina:Malson. Okay. Mandelson. So if you think about it as man, and then Olson, Mandelson
francene:Malson, did they say, right? No.
nina:So it's Mandelson, so that it's m a n, like man and woman, man. Olsen. Olsen,
francene:man. Olsen. Okay. Nina. Matt Olsen. Um, who is a body peace coach. So she helps people end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body, um, as it is, which is. Magical, and I'm so excited about talking more about this. So you're known for being a deeply feminist, anti-D diet, body piece approach, and you bring 30 years of experience as a therapist. So I'm so excited about speaking to you. Um, Especially at this time of year where I feel as a woman, as a man, as whoever, we can't help but over-indulge and then feel immediately guilty. And again, I'm talking about the comparisons on social media and you're like, oh God, I hate how I look, blah, blah, blah. And sometimes it puts a bit more of a kind of toxic downer on. The holiday season, um, instead of just enjoying it for what it is, being involved in pictures because it brings memories and it's a great time of year, but unfortunately there's this kind of downer to how I look, how I feel about my body, um, which is sad. It really is sad. Um, so tell me what is body piece and why do we need.
nina:Yeah, so body peace is that feeling of feeling truly that sigh, like I'm at home in my body. I'm not sucking in my tummy. I'm not wondering what diet I should go on tomorrow. I'm not feeling like I should start again with yet whatever the fad diet is. I'm not looking in the mirror and criticizing my thighs or my butt or my belly, or my arms or my chin or all of it. I'm just like, I get to live in this cool body here I am, and it feels good. It doesn't feel, it doesn't feel like an aggressive relationship. It doesn't feel like a management model of let me do something to this body to make it better. It feels like this is a positive, caring, supportive, respectful, relat.
francene:and how long have you been kinda on this journey to promote body peace and how, how was your own journey to get to that point where you were accepting and you look differently? Like you appreciate what your body
nina:can do for you? Yeah, so I have been on this journey really since I was. when I was first put on a diet mm-hmm. uh, weight Watchers was out at that time. It was very big. Uh, my mother was like, oh, let's get healthy and let's get slim and let's do this thing together. Right? With the best of intentions. Yeah. Oh, we wanna take care of ourselves and our culture is saying diets are the way to do it. Great. Let's do that together. But what that did is start a lifelong journey of, oh, let me try this diet. Oh, that's not working sustainably for a long time. You know that's not working because the reality is, is 95%. People who go on diets gain their weight back, if not more in two, two to five years. Yeah. So, you know, I started when I was nine and I kept going all through my teens really intensely in my teens. Right. Trying to fit into the, the genes and look just like everybody else in the magazines, that sense of comparison, right. The compare and despair and then, Sorry to No, no worries. Mommy Thank you. Sorry. Oh my gosh, that's Adorableness
francene:She is outside of the fact, she just beat makeup all over her face. I'm like, okay, Luna. Just, you know, you know Mama's
nina:working right now. Um,
francene:anyway, sorry. Um, no worries. Culture. Um,
nina:Kinda looking. Yes, so, so from this place of always being in this comparison and always being in this, I should look different than I do, came a sense of not enoughness. And this is where we get into why is body peace important? Yeah. Because when we're not moving towards a relationship with our body, that feels good, that feels easy, that feels like we trust our body. We're in a. Time consuming, mentally exhausting, emotionally draining relationship with our body. That takes up way too much space. I've worked with so many women who are saying like, there's too much real estate of my own brain taken up by, oh my gosh, do I look okay? I'm too fat. I'm too, you know, wrinkly. I'm too old, I'm too this, I'm too that. It's like, wait a second. Let's not do that anymore. Let's feel good in our own skin, and from there we're more powerful. Right? So it wasn't really until I was in my thirties that I was like, wait a second, this is not working. Yeah. And I don't wanna be doing this. Right. And now I'm in my fifties and in my fifties I work with women who are literally saying to me, I don't wanna die hating my. Yeah. Right. And I work with women of all ages, right? Thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties. All of whom say, I just don't wanna be in this war anymore. It takes up too much energy. It makes me feel bad. It's like a constant drain and really, it's exhausting. Right? The way I knew I was really ready for change with my relationship with my body is I was like, I am bored with the conversation that I'm having with my body. I am bored with, oh, maybe I shouldn't have eaten that. Oh, tomorrow I'll start again. Yeah, we can do better. We absolutely can do better. And there is a way.
francene:Yeah, it's true. It's just, um, you know, I was thinking about. Like resolutions, you know, this time of year, you know what? Kind of looking at for okay, the next year and what have I done this year and did I hit my resolutions? And immediately, immediately my brain went to, I really need to get my body back in shape. And I was like, oh my God, why does my, like, why does my brain go there? It's not like I really wanna learn guitar, or I really wanna take up a new hobby. Or it's like, why do we immediately think about improving how we look outwardly instead of thinking? well, what could I do to improve myself that will probably make me feel better, more confident? Um, and you know, I was scrolling through Instagram and the one thing I hate about this time of year two is I've seen so many celebrities who you haven't really seen posts in like a couple of months, and then all of a sudden they're like, Hey, I had this new app and it's a fitness app, and look how I got my body back. Mm-hmm. and you think mm-hmm. like, I understand. You know, each their, whatever they're looking at. But for me personally, I'm like, well, I'm a working mom. And it's not, it's, the lifestyles are different. The money's different. Mm-hmm. I don't have a pt. Mm-hmm. So that app that they're trying to promote, I'm like, I know that that's not real. I know that that's not how they got that body, but mm-hmm. eating this constantly. So then it makes you think, oh God, I really need to get my body back next year. And okay, I need to just stop eating and, oh God, I've eaten all this stuff at Christmas. So how do you challenge yourself as you are at this time of year? And everyone's talking about resolutions and the other thing. which again, each to your own, and I'm not necessarily a big drinker, but it's dry January, and you're like, what is the point of dry January? Because then it's like no one wants to do anything. Everyone falls deeper into that like post holiday blues, and you think you're not helping yourself by depriving. Yes. If you need to cut back, fine. If you're thinking about this from a health perspective and you're like, I've been drinking too much, I need to cut back. But it's when, same as diet, you cut out everything, then you get to February and you just binge mm-hmm. And you think, how is, that's not helping. Um, so I feel I'm always, when it comes to my friends, I'm like, can we not do dry January? Can you not be that person to just cut yourself off for a month and then I don't see you and you're miserable. So how, how do you how do you do, I'm sure you've been having a
nina:lot of conversations, there's so many things that you're bringing up that are so important. One is this idea of deprivation. What happens when we decide No more something, right? That's one. The other idea is this idea of getting my body back. Right. How do we getting my body back, what does that really mean? Let's unpack that. And the way that I wanna start the whole conversation is, I don't know if you know this Francine, but I write poems, I write body peace poems, and I write them in service to changing the conversation that we have with our body and our food, the way that women talk, people talk about their body and food, and there's a poem, if you're up for it, that I'd love to share with you. Please. Yeah, please. I would love, ok, so this one's called Start Again. Resolutions are passe. Well, at least I'm over them. But that desire to wipe the slate clean, to get back in the saddle to start again, still lingers. The hope of redemption, of doing better, of improving, it drives us. To look at tomorrow, at Monday, at the first of the month, the first of the year, as a moment to transform, to eat better, to move more, to go to bed on time. But the potential isn't the start line that's out there. The power is in the listening. The power is in the power is the internal experience. the listening is our momentum. Skip the starting blocks, sink into all the feels. How can you support yourself right now? Right? And so essentially in that poem, what I'm speaking to is the difference of, oh, the starting block is out there. I'm gonna start again. I'm gonna make this thing happen versus wait, let's come. Let's do the listening in. That's where our growth mindset, right. Different than I'm gonna wipe the slate clean, which is so appealing. Yeah. We all have it. I can't tell you how many like new journals I have, right? Oh, I'm gonna start again. Right? We have that desire, but instead, if we can say actually what creates. change is a sense of a growth mindset. And where does that come from? It comes from listening to what we actually need. So to come back to that, what you said, get my body back. Well, what does that mean exactly? Right. Because we could look at it as, oh, I'm gonna get my body back, and it's gonna look like X star. Right? It's gonna look like Shakira. It's gonna look like Lizzo. Liz doesn't, maybe the wrong example in this, but it's gonna look like J lo Yeah. It's gonna look like somebody who's like super slim and, and super, um, into fitness. Yeah. Right. Instead of what if I was getting my body back in a way that I was actually developing a relationship of trust with her. Mm-hmm. Right? That's a body like Lizzo, right? I trust this body. Mm-hmm. this body is beautiful as it is, and I, and I am in it loud and proud. right? Getting my body back is actually a very powerful phrase. It's saying, I want this relationship. I wanna reclaim it. I don't want my body to be a commodity that this, the diet industry, the fitness industry, the aging industry, is making money off of this is my body. I claim the wisdom that's within her, that's getting, truly getting my body. Oh my god, I
francene:That change. Yeah. I love that mindset, like shift of like just taking that phrase that we use so negatively to I am reclaiming it. I love
nina:that.