We discuss stress and burnout at work, why it sneaks up on people, and how it creates more havoc than you realize.
Hello and welcome to the realm. I'm Dr. D. I bring this strategy
Dr. K:and I'm Dr. K, I bring the psychology we are business psychologist and your guides to the executive route where we bring strategy and psychology together,
Dr. D.:so you can bring your best to your C-suite, your teams and your customers. Today we're talking about stress and burnout, why it sneaks up on people and creates more havoc than you realize. So let's get to work. Dr. K, welcome back from your week away. I know you took a great vacation, went international, spent some time on the beach and enjoyed your time. Since our topic is stress and burnout, and you are now back from a stress relieving vacation... How did your vacation play into that stress and burnout that you might have been feeling?
Dr. K:It's interesting, I knew that I needed to take a break, I needed a vacation, it did not become apparent until my first day I arrived. It took me the whole day to get into a place of Hey, you're not working paid. You don't have to think about anything but relaxing. And that's when I realized how stressed and turned out I had become despite the fact that I was still on point with my clients there with them every step of the way. My own personal self care and recognition that I needed a break was not apparent at all. So the fact that it took me a day to get to a place where I can relax shoulders away from my ears, you know, I was one of the best night's sleep I've had in an extended period of time it was it's that made me recognize I need to take more time or at least be more conscientious of the fact that distress is now leading to the burnout.
Dr. D.:As somebody who finds stress kind of empowering myself, right, I work well under deadlines. I like to have a lot of things going on. There's there's good stress, and there's bad Stress, Stress is generally considered not great. But there is something called us stress, which is kind of like euphoria, technical term that psychologists use for the good stress in your life. And it's necessary, but anything that is good, that is overused can become a bad thing.
Dr. K:Yeah, absolutely. And I can be the same way. You know, there's been times in my life where it's been school and work and whether it was you know, a significant other or when I was in high school, it was playing sports. And it would be a charge to have all of these things that I needed to get done for me at times, if I don't have a lot on my plate, I actually slack off more However, when there's a lot on my plate, and those things are not getting completed or not progressing, moving forward or improving. If something needs to improve, that's when it becomes the bad stress. That's when it's no longer a motivation.
Dr. D.:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And there's always stress that you put on yourself where you put something off for too long, or you'd be up deadlines, there are a lot of areas where you can drive your own stress. And then of course, there's all those external stressors coming out of a year of quarantine, all the change that caused a lot of stress for a lot of folks. And it was a difficult time, it created a lot of inner turmoil driven by external forces. It's that external stress that when you build up a high level of internal self motivating stress, and then you have some external stressors piled on like the death of a loved one, family stress, or all of those things that can throw you for a loop, it can push you over that edge, and you don't necessarily realize can overwhelm you and you're in your stress load, you're already so bound up in the stressors of day to day life, that those extra things, they put you over the edge, but you don't necessarily realize that they've put you over the edge that that's when you kind of lose control of where you are in reality and really lose track of your capability and your ability in the world.
Dr. K:Absolutely. And stress. You know, it's the temporary stress pushes us out of our comfort zone. It's good because it can help us to grow it can help us to learn and we then achieve a certain goal that we are striving for. So in that aspect, the temporary stress is great. And within the comfort zone, we don't like to be pushed out of our comfort zone. But then that comfort zone arena changes the parameters around the comfort zone changes, whether it gets larger, gets smaller or disappears, where we're just like, Oh, this is great. I can always change and try new things. It's when those stressors start piling on and they never get resolved or and especially with the external stressors because our internal stressors we can improve for ourselves. But external stressors such as a boss that's always harping on someone or you know does not have any interpersonal skills. That is a stress that we can't really typically do a lot about because it is on someone else. So when those stressors start to build, that's when that burnout comes and there is a difference between stress and burnout. Oftentimes they are used interchangeably, but with the burnout, the long term negative state That we are in which leads to emotional exhaustion, physical fatigue, oftentimes a cognitive weariness, we're more exhausted in our brains were difficulty focusing, you know, inability to concentrate, get things done. That's where the physical effects come into play. And burnout has been researched to lead into depression if it does not get fixed, because remember, the difference between the stress and burnout is that burnout is a long term effect.
Dr. D.:I recall from one of our early conversations, we talked about acute stress disorder and how you don't necessarily recognize the symptoms of acute stress doesn't necessarily come on. And while you're under stress, it's after the stress alleviates that you can fall into the symptoms of acute stress. And if you don't recover quickly, that can turn into PTSD. Or there are really three different kinds of stressors that lead into the day to day life. There's the stress that we put on ourselves that we use to energize ourselves and motivate ourselves, but also just from our behaviors and actions. There are those short term external stressors of deadlines and things that pop out of nowhere death in the family I mentioned. But then there's also those long term stressors, as you said, a boss that maybe harps on you incessantly. And that's you're working somewhere for years, and people live with money, stress, financial stress, having to care for a loved one, everyone's family dynamic and family situation brings a different level and a different amount of stress into their life. And people also have different coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. Some people dress is not a big deal, they can deal with it, they internalize it, and then they let it go, it rolls off their back. And then there are some people that hold on to that like precious jewel inside their chest that they just can't quite let go of. And you know, as a therapist yourself, I'm sure you see a much wider array of how people internalize and deal with stress externally in your in your clinical practice.
Dr. K:It's acute stress, or it's just like an immediate short term stress, an increase in anxiety, overthinking ruminating thoughts, maybe starting to have some nights where there's difficulty sleeping, you're stressed out. So maybe you skip a lunch or something like that. And those are always signs that when clients and I are working together that I will try to find out well how do you know you're stressed what's going on, and we start finding ways to improve them so that it doesn't turn into something more, it's recognizing the signs at work that you are starting to stress and or become burned out. And one of the biggest ones is is that you dread going to work. But if every time you're driving into work, you're starting to have anxiety or panic attack, you get upset stomach, you have a headache all throughout your day at work, muscle tension, unable to relax, those are signs that there is something usually that's a good sign that, okay, I'm either extremely stressed out, or I'm becoming burned out.
Dr. D.:Everybody has times in their life when they don't want to get out of bed and they just don't feel like going into work. And it happens to everybody. And some people don't feel like they're in a position to change their work state. They don't feel like they're feeling some sense of obligation that keeps them in a job or in a role or feel like they have a lack of options available to them. And that's another form of stress. People don't necessarily have a lot of comfort dealing with themselves.
Dr. K:Yeah, absolutely. Especially if it's something that's ongoing. You know, you know, a lot of times people will be like, yeah, I never get swore, you know, they get to a place where they're, you know, where they think, well, when they're getting sick a lot, oh, well, it's just, you know, my immune systems down or I don't want to hang out with people isolation is a big one as well. And we start justifying the warning signs, we justify why they're happening instead of going, Okay, this is why they're happening, how do I fix it, we get into a negative mindset that these things aren't fixable
Dr. D.:I've had a really long commute through really tough traffic, you become really used to it, it's the only analogy that I can think of that I can really relate to, you become used to it. While the traffic was miserable, the first few weeks that I was driving, I became acclimated, and it wasn't until after I moved or I changed jobs that I felt that sense of burden lift that I didn't even realize I was accommodating in my life and how life changing some of those things weren't. And I have to believe that many people who have to adapt by working from home and with the lack of commute and working from home lifted a lot of stressors off of people, but it also added a different dynamic, a different set of stress.
Dr. K:You know, it's being honest and real with yourself saying, Okay, I'm stressed out what do I need to do? Or I'm burnt out and it's finding ways to deal with that. Because you know, as I said earlier, if you're if you're stressing out and we don't take care of those that can lead has a possibility of leading into the burnout. And then if you're burnt out and that lasts an extended period of time that has potential of leading to you know, either a short term episode of depression or chronic depression, and then that's just a whole nother set of issues and problems that one has to work through when they already aren't feeling good.
Dr. D.:And that's only exacerbated, I imagine, by people who already have Some mental health issues that they're working through, like depression or anxiety, dealing with mental health issues alone, I imagine are probably pretty stressful.
Dr. K:Absolutely any form of mental health issues. Sometimes they think that that's all they are. But that's not true. That's just one piece of the pie. You are someone that is suffering from depression, but you're not just a walking depression.
Dr. D.:I often will say, it's just one piece of your puzzle. It's not the whole puzzle. It's just one piece. That's really insightful. Dr. K,
Dr. K:I try, I try.
Dr. D.:We've talked a lot about the psychology of stress and burnout, let's talk about how that relates at work, obviously, when you have to recognize your own level of stress. And you have to recognize how to take care of yourself so that you can bring your best self as we say to your C suite, your teams and your customers. But part of being a leader, part of being an executive is setting the right tone and the right culture within your organization. To get the best out of your business. To be able to really live your mission, you have to make sure that you have high functioning well, performing teams, making sure that people don't feel so chained to their work that they can take some time off and having a plan for people to take time off monitoring your teams to make sure you're picking up if you have team members that are approaching those signs of burnout and stress that they might not recognize themselves intervening, and stepping in and being a part of the solution for your team and not just trusting that if they need time off, they'll ask you when they're ready. If you develop a culture where people are really engaged and really enjoy being at work that can be overdone, and that could lead to stress and burnout. So you really as a cultivator of your culture, an enabler of your mission and your team, you have to always be on the lookout for where people are stressed and insist on people taking time off finding ways for introducing levity and periods of mental relaxation in your team so that they can refocus and re energize and stay energized.
Dr. K:Absolutely. And to piggyback on that you provide that safe space for your employees where they feel that they are able to come to you and say, Hey, I'm really stressed, I'm really burned out, that's going to create a culture that's going to make people want to stay make people want to do more. And as a leader, it would be important if you are noticing that someone is out of control. And I don't mean that they're freaking out, but out of control where everything needs to be in their control. Because when we're stressed or anxious, sometimes we go into more of a control mode, because that we feel safer that way, as a leader, it's time to walk up to whoever that person is, and be like, hey, how can I help? Who do we need to delegate this to what's going on? You know, I You seem to be more anxious, you seem to be more nervous, you know, and recognizing those signs. And as a leader, it would be important to make it known that you see your employee, you know, in a safe space, not like hey, you're anxious, get it together. But hey, I'm noticing, you know, there's something different What's going on? How can I help just asking, How can I help sometimes it's just knowing that you have the support is enough for someone to be able to get back into the headspace that they need to be in.
Dr. D.:Yeah, it's interesting because it is really a catch 22, because your most engaged employees, the ones that are most dedicated, they're the ones that you have to pry away from the office and say, hey, go take some time off. When I am really into work. And I am thinking about all the things that I have to do, I almost build up a level of stress about taking time off all this stuff that I have to do I have to get done before I go I know I'm going to have a lot of stuff to do when I get back that can create some stress in its own right people can justify in their own mind why it's so important for them to be there. And it takes a good leader to say look, we'll cover we want you to take some time off, we've got a team you're very important and you're important to the team but you taking care of yourself and taking a couple of weeks off and enjoying yourself and recharging the batteries is just as important to me as you being here it's performing your job will take care of it and we don't we're gonna support you because we're gonna ask you to support somebody else when they're going on vacation. So it really is about a team atmosphere. Sometimes people put more stock in their own need to be there than the organization.
Dr. K:The thing is is that the more the more burnt out and stressed out we get and not taking care of ourselves, the less we are able to produce for any organization or it's not going to be even if we do produce it, it may not be the best product there are people out there that you know unfortunately are not fortunate enough to be able to take vacations or even three day weekends. You know, it is unfortunate and but it is there and are those people I can only imagine the level of stress or burnout that they you know, possibly they may be feeling so it is important that when we do have time off to really take that time off. Seriously close the computers, turn your emails off, turn your notifications off so that you have whether it's an hour or five days. You can take That time to decompress. When you come back to something after giving your your brain and your emotions and everything a chance to decompress. You can see whatever situation that you are dealing with whatever project you're dealing with whatever team member you're dealing with, you can come to it with a very different mindset, a very different, you, you look at it very differently because you've had a chance to step away.
Dr. D.:I call that respecting the sanctity of time away. When a team member is off on vacation, there's a tendency for people to want to work when others are working. In today's environment, business is happening all the time. So it's really easy to get sucked into the routine of checking emails in the evening or checking emails on the Sunday, you have to plan for time away. If you're going to take a two week vacation or a week vacation twice a year or three weeks, or however you decide and plan to take your time off, it needs to be recognized that you are away. And when your team members have the same thing lead by example, demonstrate the same respect for their time away that you would hope for in your time away. Now I think one of the challenges that happens in business is there's a level I'm going to call it ego a level of self importance that I'm so important to my business function that if I leave for a week or two, the world's gonna fall apart. It's not that's arrogance, there is zero humility in that and the very best leaders build it an environment where there's redundancy in work, if I as a leader have to be there, 24-seven, then I'm failing as a leader, if I'm a successful leader, I'm building an environment where the machine can run and I'm tending the environment. And I can step away for a week or two. And the machine will continue to run that I've built the right infrastructure and support around me that my stepping away doesn't cripple the business and is even more important for my team. If I have built the team in the right way any one person can step away or two people can step away and take a vacation and the machine will continue to run efficiently. Of course, when that person is on vacation or away, we're going to miss them terribly and want them to come back. But we also want them to stay with us for the long haul.
Dr. K:I want to make sure that I point this out that sometimes the stress that we feel when we're at work isn't always work stress. Sometimes that's our getaway. Like there have been times in my life where I'm so grateful to go to work because everything else in my life seems like it's crashing and burning. So I'm like, Oh my gosh, yeah, I get to go to work, I don't have to think about it. You know, the stress can be coming from multiple avenues. And then dealing with them the best way that you know how if that means reaching out to your friend and having a you know, a complaint session, go for it. If that means reaching out to a mental health provider, go for it. There's nothing wrong with paying someone to listen to you who objectively wants to guide you help you or be there for you. There's nothing wrong with that. And for a organization itself, if you are starting to notice that there is a lot of stress within you know, your team or individuals get someone to come in and help or say, Hey, we're taking the day off, you know, we're not doing we're gonna have a fun day on a team building day. But we're gonna have a fun day because a lot of times, that's even more stressful for the team building days, you know, but as the leader in the organization, you have to look for that. Let's have a half day and do a really nice lunch and no more work after that so that people have a chance to kind of just turn their brains off.
Dr. D.:Yes, that is one of the nicest surprises that you can do for a team if your business allows it is to say, hey, let's go go eat some lunch and then let people go home after on a Friday. It's always such a nice surprise. It lifts people spirits, if you don't email and text them with a million things over the weekend in they actually enjoy it. That's a really big deal. Giving people surprise time off is always a bonus but at least respect their time away. There is no one that is so important that they can't be given some time to to do their own thing and recharge their batteries. And you should insist that they do.
Dr. K:So Dr. D. How can leaders prepare for stress and burnout within their teams?
Dr. D.:Well, I think preparing is the most important part, make a plan, stick to it and ensure that your team has a plan and make them stick to it. Make stress check part of your regular check ins with your team as you're talking to colleagues and your team members. Ask them how are you doing? Are you feeling stressed out? What can I do to help alleviate the stress? When is your next vacation plan if it's not planned, get it on the books. When they do take time off. Respect the sanctity of that time off for both yourself and for your team. Make sure you have a plan so that when you're away, you're not stressed out and thinking about work and really give yourself the opportunity to relax. Do the same for your team. be candid with those people who do need a break. If you see people on the team that haven't taken time off in an extended period of time insist that they do make sure you have that conversation and say we'll have it covered take some time off. There's no obligation for them to be there. From your perspective, set it in your culture that it's expected that they take some time and keeping yourself in your team energized keeps engagement high when you need it by giving people breaks to alleviate stress. When those really stressful times come people will be prepared because what's good for your team is good for your mission. So with that, Dr. King, what's on tap for next week.
Dr. K:Well next week we will be talking about emotional intelligence is it really as important in leader And is it innate to a person's personality? Or can it be a developed leadership trait?
Dr. D.:Excellent, emotional intelligence. You know, it really has gained a lot of traction in both the psychology literature and in organizational development. And there are a lot of folks out there that say it's not a real thing. It's psychology du Jour , but we'll get into...
Dr. K:...it's just one more thing to throw into the mix.
Dr. D.:Exactly. It's one more thing for consultants to sell. But you know, we'll get into that in more detail next week for all of you. Thank you for joining us on this journey to the realm. Thank you so much. I'm Dr. D.
Dr. K:And I'm Dr. K and we are looking forward to your next visit to the Executive Realm.