5 common mistakes life coaches make
With 17 years service in the life coaching industry, I can, hand on heart, say that the vast majority of life coaches I’ve had the privilege to connect with are wonderful, salt-of-the-earth types.
Of course, as in any industry, you’ll find a small proportion of practitioners who are in it for misplaced or questionable reasons.
In my previous podcast, I explained that the growth of quick-and-easy ‘certification courses’ – high on marketing hype but low on substance – is attracting people who lack the commitment to hard work that ensures the level of excellence rightly expected in this field.
That said, most people who get into life coaching are driven to do so by an authentic passion for people and a genuine desire to be involved in fulfilling and rewarding work that helps inspire a better world.
But even among those with the best intentions backed by professional training, there are still some who struggle to make an impact.
Here are five of the most common mistakes that I see life coaches make.
1. Turning a blind eye to the need to sell their services
To some people, mention of the world 'sales' sends a shiver of excitement down their spines.
I can say, unequivocally, that among life coaches such people are a very rare breed.
It may come as no surprise that when you have a natural passion for people, and get exposed to training that drums into you the importance of putting the needs of your clients first, you’re going to be wary of doing anything that could possibly be perceived as pushing your own interests.
Assertively selling and promoting your own services may feel self-serving, uncomfortable, and contrary to the spirit of life coaching. But, as Robert Louis Stevenson so astutely observed, everybody lives by selling something!
And selling life coaching services is the very antithesis of the deceptive practices of those peddling snake oil! Authentic life coaching services deserve to be sold and to be sold with confidence, authority and pride!
The more people who are exposed to the power of effective life coaching the better (for them, for life coaches and for the world at large).
2. Being too accommodating to their prospects
This point is closely related to the first one.
Life coaches are, as a general rule, very empathetic and emotionally attuned to those around them. They have also been trained to refrain from advice-giving because the power of life coaching lies in helping clients come to terms with, and harness, their own inner power.
Ironically, this attitude and training can work against their best interests – and those of their prospective clients – when it comes to agreeing the coaching terms and rules of engagement.
Life coaches are trained to recognise that their clients are the true experts when it comes to their clients’ own lives.
But they are quick to forget that they are the experts when it comes to life coaching, how it works and what makes it most effective.
What I’m getting at here is that many life coaches will allow themselves to be dictated to, by the whims of prospective clients, when it comes to setting up the coaching contract and designing the coaching programme and process that will be most effective.
By way of analogy, when you visit a doctor, you don’t expect to dictate the nature and terms of the treatment plan that the doctor prescribes. You may know what you want to achieve but you’re not the expert in medical treatment and processes.
By far the most effective form of life coaching is that which is transformative in its effect because it requires the client to go through a structured process during which they will be exposed to various insights about themselves that will culminate in lasting change for the better.
Sadly, though, too few life coaches are prepared to invest the energy in selling the amazing benefits of transformational coaching to clients who live in an artificially time-starved world that gives allure to ‘quick fixes’ and superficial solutions.
I often hear coaches say, “My clients don’t want to spend six months in coaching. They just want a few sessions to help address an issue.”
And I say, “Don’t be too quick to accept what your prospective clients think they need. They are not the experts in life coaching, you are! Invest some time in persuading them to adopt a coaching programme that you know will work for them.”
3. Not recognising the lifeblood of their practice
One of the unfortunate consequences of wanting to please your clients, or at least not wanting to upset or inconvenience them, is a failure to ask for testimonials.
Or perhaps asking for testimonials, but doing so at the wrong time, or not following up on the initial requests.
The life coaching industry stands or falls on whether clients perceive the results they achieve with their coaches to be of greater value than the time and money they invest in coaching.
Well-trained, capable life coaches, generally deliver a huge value-to-investment ratio for their clients. And for this, they deserve to be recognised and endorsed.
The vast majority of clients hire life coaches based, not on qualifications or accreditations, but on the recommendations of others.
In this business, the coach’s ability to demonstrate the delivery of great results for their clients is paramount.
And that means ensuring you get testimonials!
4. Being overly directive in coaching
I’m aware that this point may, at first, seem to stand in contradiction to the first two.
Let me explain.
Many life coaches are shrinking violets when it comes to selling their services and expressing their professional opinions on the type and nature of life coaching that will be of most benefit to their prospective clients.
However, when it comes to how they interact with their clients during sessions, they are often quick to jump into offering advice.
People with a passion for helping other people often find that offering advice and guidance comes naturally. I regularly receive calls from people wanting to become life coaches proudly citing the fact that ‘others always gravitate to them for advice’.
Offering advice and guidance is the ‘stock-in-trade’ of the service that mentors and consultants provide.
However, other than in certain special circumstances, it is not regarded as part of effective life coaching, where clients are given the tools, techniques, motivation and support to design their own solutions.
Many life coaches struggle to rein in this natural tendency. And, clients who are unfamiliar with how life coaching should work, may warm to the idea of being fed a diet of advice and guidance by their coaches.
Unfortunately, although receiving advice and guidance may feel comforting in the short-term, it does not promote substantial, lasting, internal change for the better.
The inability to deliver substantive client results will, of course, hurt the individual life coach in the longer run. But it will also contribute negatively to the reputation of life coaching.
That’s lose-lose stuff!
5. Trying to be all things to all people
I’ve discussed how setting up a life coaching practice, and then expecting the world to beat a path to your door, without substantive efforts to promote your services, is likely to result in an early closure.
By targeting no-one, you will attract no-one.
On the other hand, marketing and promoting your services to anyone and everyone can be an expensive and frustrating waste of time.
By targeting everyone, you may get lucky and attract some but they’re unlikely to be your ideal clients.
I’m often taken aback by how new coaches, having invested a great many hours studying and practising life coaching, pay so little attention to the target market(s) they want to work with.
The secret to standing out of the life coaching crowd is to position yourself as an expert in a specific field, or fields, be that coaching young adults, couples in relationships, retired folk, stay-at-home parents, people with disabilities, or whatever.
Carefully defining and refining your niche (pronounced ‘nitch’ if you are American) is essential if you want your practice to thrive. That way, whatever marketing or promotional budget you can afford, will be well spent on attracting your ideal clients.
As they say in the States, “It’s the niche that makes you rich.”
