Breaking Toxic Patterns & Build A Connected Relationship | Lauren, Lieve & Donna

What if the same patterns and cycles showing up in your relationships aren’t the problem, but an invitation to understand what is under them and work towards healing.

In this powerful and heartfelt conversation, Donna Moala is joined by two incredible women she is fortunate to call both colleagues and dear friends: Lauren Dry, founder of RISE, and Lieve De Lint, psychologist, educator, and head coach based in Belgium.

Together, the three of them support people around the world inside RISE, helping individuals and couples navigate relationship challenges, heal old wounds, strengthen connection, and create healthier patterns for themselves and their families.

In this episode, they explore:

✨ How to break toxic and unconscious relationship patterns
 ✨ What it means to build a conscious relationship
 ✨ Nervous system awareness and why it matters in love and parenting
 ✨ Parts work and understanding the different parts of ourselves
 ✨ Healing childhood and generational patterns
 ✨ Showing up with greater awareness, intention, and authenticity
 ✨ The connection between conscious relationships and conscious parenting
 ✨ How healing ourselves can transform our marriages, families, and lives

This conversation is filled with wisdom, compassion, and lived experience. Whether you're navigating challenges with your partner, working on yourself, or simply wanting deeper and more connected relationships, this episode offers hope and practical insights for the journey.

If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you. Send us a message! ❤️

Follow Lauren Dry: 

Website: https://riseintoregulation.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Lauren-Dry-The-Connection-Catalyst-100082896336695/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauren_dry

Youtube: www.youtube.com/@The.Connection.Catalyst

Learn More About Elevated Day Retreat : https://riseintoregulation.com/elevated-day-retreat

Follow Lieve De Lint:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lievedelint/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lieve.de.lint/

I would appreciate it greatly if you could please LIKE and FOLLOW this podcast and if you are not following me over on instagram, head over there for all of my top tips and advice around sleep and parenting @parentingcollective.au.  I also offer a free 15 minute phone chat to run through all your questions CLICK here to book your FREE 15 minute chat

Much Love 💞

Donna Moala 
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello and welcome to this week's episode. Super excited about this recording. I was joined by two amazing women who have had a really big impact on my life professionally and personally, and who I'm lucky enough to now call dear friends. So we were in Sydney in March for 10 days on business, and we just decided to do it. Leave came from Belgium. Lauren came from Perth with me, and we had done a lot of work together via Zoom and became close that way, but hadn't spent a lot of time in each other's personal space, and we just went, yeah, let's do this. So it could have turned out horribly wrong, but it was one of the most amazing 10 days experience with two women I've had in a very long time in regards to conversations. Oh my god, so many amazing things and the bond that we created in that time. Deep conversations, lots of laughs, and on very much the same wavelength. So Lauren is the founder of Rise, and she's an incredible woman behind it's a conscious relationship parenting program. Mostly conscious relationship is where I'm a head coach in that space, and alongside with Leave, who is in Europe, she's a psychologist, a coach, and educator, and very much has an understanding of human behaviour relationships and you know the inner world, so both powerful and practical. And she um works from Belgium there as another head coach in the space. Together, the three of us work inside Rise, supporting people all around the world as they are navigating relationship challenges, healing patterns, strength and connection, and you know, really moving towards becoming their most authentic and really fulfilled version of themselves. And it's work that sits at the heart of everything we do, and also the heart of everything I was doing before I was even a head coach in Lauren's space. And we really just love what we're able to do to support families, save marriages. The list is goes on and on. So Lauren and Lee us combined. I feel like that we just blend this really nice, lovely, heart-filled experience, like expertise and wisdom, but also using lived experience. So, like when we work with families and not just families, but people, it goes beyond how and their professional knowledge. You know, as we have become so close, we just do everything with our heart, and people really feel that. So in this episode, we really dive into the conscious relationships. I talk about conscious parenting, it's all that goes hand in hand. Nervous system awareness parts work. Again, you may never have heard of that before. We talk about that. Healing old patterns, like intergenerational patterns, patterns that we've created over our lives from younger years, and what it truly means to actually show up in our lives now, aware, conscious, and intentionally for our lives now today and for our families. So whether you're navigating challenges with your partner, simply with yourself, with other relationships, with children, so I know there will be moments in this conversation that I really think will support you and make you feel very hopeful, and then want to come and check out the space in Rise where you've got all three of us supporting you and you know getting to that really great space of life. So let's jump in. Hope you love it just as much as we did, and we'd love to hear your feedback and speak to you soon. Welcome, my beautiful friends, ladies, to the Parenting Collective podcast. So excited to have you. Thanks for being here. So I'm going to firstly introduce yourselves, Lauren Dry, Liv Delint. Sounds like a chocolate. And a little bit of a background of why I've got you beautiful ladies in here is that we work as head coaches for Lauren Space in Rise, which is I'll get Lauren to talk a little bit about that. And it's no coincidence that we have found each other and what we've sort of the goodness that we create together, I think, and of understanding of each other and how we met and everything. But what I'd like to do is individually ask a little bit about your lives and why you do the things you do and how you got there. So, Lauren, I'd first ask you, being the founder of Rise Interregulation, connection catalyst, Leave and I work with as your head coaches. So, Lauren, can you please share with us how you found yourself creating Rise, being a mum, marriage, and helping people throughout the world with their relationships?

SPEAKER_03 4:02

So, for me, I think with a lot of people who have their own businesses, particularly service-led businesses, it starts at home and my marriage fell apart. I had two young kids, and I found myself not only frustrated, heartbroken, and just feeling completely isolated and debilitated over the situation. I felt almost like a failure because I had done everything I was supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Which is explains that so explain some of the modalities that you felt like you had implemented or that led to this face of loneliness of like my marriage is not working. It wasn't like you just obviously were in it and you just decided that it was over. You sounded like you had done uh many other modalities. So can you sort of talk into that a little bit?

SPEAKER_03 4:51

Yeah, I mean when I say I'd done everything, I think anyone who ha has gone through this either transition phase of their marriage where it evolves into something new or separates, they relate to how much we throw into it. Nobody walks away from a marriage lightly. I'd done individual therapy, we'd not done couples therapy, I'd been on retreats, all of the books. I was also highly qualified human behaviour analysis in anything to do with the study of the human mind, I was obsessed with. And still I found myself with the one relationship in the world that I needed to be okay. I needed to be able to go home and feel okay. It was falling apart, and I had two young kids and I felt like I'd let them down. But then what happened was I stumbled across my first mentor who was a specialist in the unconscious mind, and I started working with him originally just so that I wouldn't end up as another statistic. You know, with my second marriage, if I was lucky enough to be married again, having a higher chance of ending than the first. And you know, I'm quite literal, I'm quite quite a logical brain. So for me, this it was just common sense.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

I had to work on myself, but it wasn't okay, and what you had already implemented or what you had already tried wasn't working.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Something that I have a skill set with is a strong recognition of patterns. So recognising that I'd set myself as a pattern to repeat the same cycle, I just I wasn't having a bar of it. Uh so when I started working with my mentor, what I understood was that 95% of our relationships, our behaviors, our decisions, they all come down to the unconscious mind and the hidden patterns underneath. And I started working on that, and really strangely, what began as a co-parenting relationship, we've got us just be friends, we've got to get along, brought us back together. And that was beautiful. But it began with me, and that was very freeing. Originally, it was I had a lot of resentment over doing the work with the problem. With the problem, I know, and that's where our let's talk into that a little bit as women.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

We've had fantastic conversations and authentically having these kind of conversations, but we often as women go, we're doing the work, like it's we're dragging them along. But I often say, Well, you know, it's it's the journey is trying to be the best version of yourself, and if that accidentally brings you back together, that's fantastic. But actually, it was the work that you started that was able to get you back together, yeah?

SPEAKER_03 7:15

Yeah, and and I think it was it can have a shadow side and a light side, and the shadow for me was just being in a stage of taking all the tools and being so determined that if I knew what I was supposed to do and I just beat our relationship like a dead horse, you know, eventually he would just get it.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

But that element of you know, having surrender but also trying something new, because this is new science. Very much, and it's it's fascinating about what actually becomes possible when you're not at the mercy of your trauma pattern.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Totally.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

You know, the programming that you know used to keep you safe can actually create these dynamics in relationships and continual with other relationships, not even just your marriage, friendships, parenting, all of that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Totally. So asking a bit of a personal question though, what was sort of the time frame of that? So, you know, you were living apart, were you, or you were still living in the same house?

SPEAKER_03 8:05

So we did have a short period of living apart. Yep. And then again for the kids the transition smoothly and being in that season of just surrender, we'll work out all the details as we go. We were in the same house. And then through that period of just repairing a friendship and being able to co-parent well, my husband just started to recognise changes. His own well, he recognised changes in me, but I I talk about this on the podcast with my husband where he had space. So it was no longer, okay, this is what you're doing wrong, or this is what I'm trying to fix it. That's right, yeah. There was enough space for him to say and but there were also wasn't this the cycle to feed into again. So he wasn't able to break his toxic cycle because his focus was on everything I was doing wrong. Yeah, right. I wasn't able to break my cycle, funny that I was just focused on everything that he was and your parents as well, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Like that's the hardest thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 9:00

When you're just and you're exhausted and you're depleted and you're trying to try to put on a good show for the kids. We all do, you know, we we love them and we want them to be okay. And but I think that accountability, that self-accountability first of I just want this to be okay no matter what relationship I'm in, even if it's just a relationship with my kids. Yeah. Because everything is an overflow. And then eventually my husband came to me and and said, you know, I know things have really, really shifted. He asked to be referred to someone who could help him. That's it. Because some one of the familiar dynamics in our relationship was that I would constantly either be trying to coach him or tell him what to do, and I just let go of the reins, you know, and and trusted that he would either looking after yourself, weren't you?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

You know, like uh going on that journey as well. So that's the thing that we talk about being in that rise space is uh when we're helping coach. The reason I wanted us all in this one space because we're all love each other, but yeah, we're a we are coaching people all over the world around this, so yeah, I think the connection that we've all had us three have had together also really supports people in the space, in the rise space, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 10:00

You know, it really does, and I think there's that added element of just having faith that without that tight need for tight control, life will flow, that's what will support you.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

And I feel like the tight control is always from our fear because if we let go too much, then what the hell's gonna happen? Isn't it you know, like that's the biggest thing. And so you've got two little ones. Um, and how old were they when that was sort of happening? Were they quite young or they were quite young?

SPEAKER_03 10:26

My son maybe was three.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yeah, it's a lot.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Yeah, my daughter was two and a half years older than you.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Yeah, so you know, like again, we'll also in that space don't talk. We deal with not just people with parents or even couples, like individual unique journeys, isn't it? And also in the rise to regulation space, Morgan supports the men individually sometimes too. So it's not just about women. Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

So if anyone knows, if any of you listeners know anything about anxious avoidant patterns, my husband is your typical avoidant, yeah, or I like to call him a heeled avoidant. Yes. He was so blown away by the work that he got his certification because he's become a men's leader in that space. I love that. I love that. The ripples continue to come from that just from me stepping into my own. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

You didn't ask him and force him, it was like a really organic thing.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

What I do love when I'm when I'm coaching a man by himself, I love that because um, you know, they've taken that first step. So basically, one week is about relationships and we have group sessions which are great, and the other one is private women and private men's, and I think that's the biggest thing is when I have had individual men that I've been coaching, there they sometimes say, Oh, this is it's quite a woman's group, is it? And I'm like, Absolutely not. It's it's a unique individual experience, you know. So that's the thing if people are hearing, and a male, he's this uh father or husband, or just you know, being a man, it's for them as well.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Yeah, so that's what I like to say on every call that I have with someone who's first coming to Rise as well, is that I always say it's an individual process, it is, you know, very much everyone has their own unique patterns, their own stories, their own things that they're trying to process. And as a consequence of that, that's where the relationship flow comes in when we feel we're like we have mastery over our own selves. Absolutely. And I think that that's amazing, particularly the men who come to Rise that always we we have so many conversations about how they just blow us away. I love it. I love it. How just having that safe place often is just the first the first step to them feeling like their nervous system can downregulate a little bit and they don't have to be quite so locked in.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Protective, and yeah. Yeah. I love that and really, really love that. It was a obviously great experience that you're in the same house and you could see that, that's wonderful. But that's I suppose the beauty of Rise is that's what you're wanting for everyone. And it doesn't have to be a marriage, but just that they can be their authentic real self and and have some really fantastic relationships.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

Yeah, and have the simplicity back as well, because the people that I work with they are overwhelmed already. Yeah, totally. They're completely burnt out, they work at this completely hectic pace because their parents are totally, you know, there's just no time to think about it. Yeah, I I think what I felt exhausted by was just obtaining all of this information that didn't mean it. Damn things when I was in the middle of a conversation with that. 100%. I couldn't go, oh just pause for a minute, I need to go do my meditation to calm down and like so that we can get along better. Um, no, that doesn't really help at all.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

No, no, that is some great modules in that. Yeah, and then we've got Lieve, who's amazing, she's from Belgium, and she has come all the way from Sydney, which was fantastic. And talking about our connection, and that there's no coincidence, is that Lauren having two young children and an entrepreneurial businesswoman, and uh Leave, oh, let her explain her lovely, amazing story. But we all just said, yeah, let's go. And it's like ten days away from our family. I've never been away from my family for longer than you know, four days, and again, they're older, they can so look after themselves, but it's just been such a unique, beautiful experience to be in each other's space.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

I think it really speaks into Rise as well about how natural and special and organic our friendship and our professional working relationship has been. Absolutely. I think that there's nothing that speaks into why we love the Rise process so much because it is about trust. Yeah. Immediately when I first spoke to you, Leif, I trusted I I straight away that I was able to trust my gut, and obviously the structure of you know your professional background as a certified uh neuropsychologist and all of those things were really amazing, but you know the working relationship we have is what's special. And the same with Donna, you and I met completely by coincidence. Twice. Twice.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

I don't think it was in a month at the same table. It was crazy. It was it was divine, it was the divine timing for sure because it was we look back and just giggle because it's like so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

And and it just goes to show us coming together in Sydney for these work events and it's been amazing. Both leaf flying from the other side of the world and having it together. Oh, yeah. It's like so organic, and I think that speaks to everything that we bring to the ride space and you bring to your clients all the time is just constantly coming back to that deep sense of trust and that creative ease. Like this is easy. I just I know we keep going.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

We're so blessed, but so blessed and we don't want to hit people to go, oh that's so sick. I know the reason why I wanted to check is that's why they're really that close, and I really wanted to share it because you know we all love people in the human experience, but we all didn't second guess it. No, no, no. So it all happened, we didn't overplan, some really funny things have happened. We're a whole week into it, and it's been so beautiful, and we just can't stop talking there's any things to talk about, but you know, we often will just one of us will go, This is just amazing, we just love it, and leave go. And I'm not joking, like I I'm really saying that, I really mean it, you know. And just we're just really I don't know, it's really hard to explain. It is really in tune, but why I wanted to share it for you for us is that I hope people can hear it through the microphone. Is that this is what you get in that space with coaching is this love of really wanting to support people in this ease as well, like you know, not ever second guessing yourself, really drawing the right people to you as well.

SPEAKER_03 16:09

Totally like that happens so naturally.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah, the more organic, sorry, the more authentic and understanding of your patterns and generational patterns and stuff, the more you can be your real authentic self when you're then you're attracting.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

You just attract the same people, your relationship step up as well as it's amazing, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

And for Leave like let you share your story. You're a mum of three young kiddos, and and you just have come. So, yes, so please share with the audience a little bit of um your background and yeah how you got into all the beautiful things you're doing, and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

I've been on this endless search and I could never really put words to it. I studied psychology, did a master in neuropsychology, looked around, met some psychologists, and thought I cannot be in my early 20s without life experience and do this. At least not I cannot look at myself in the mirror, and I'm sure there are great people out there that can. I couldn't, so I went on a whole journey. I I lived in different countries, had very different professions, but psychology always was very close to my heart. But what I was missing is the embodiment, the the link to the somatics, which was not still very highly focused on cognitive behavior therapy, and I was just missing that that link to the body and being more embodied. I've definitely been exposed and in very familiar dysfunctional patterns my whole life, both external around me and in my head. I could see my thoughts, and I I didn't like my own mindset, very, very critical of myself, and and I've always been trying to work on that in different ways.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Like a lived experience.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Yeah, very lived experience. So I got uh coach training, somatic coach training in San Francisco. I did that in my 30s, I had three kids there. I know, and how old are they again? They are five, eight, and ten. Busy, busy, busy. Very busy.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Two boys and a girl.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I went co-parenting. Co-parenting. I went through a divorce. We had another international move back from the US to Europe. And uh, so a lot of changes going on. Meanwhile, I also was a team coach at the UC Berkeley, and uh one of the head coaches there is an amazing woman. We would go on walks and talk and just like we would do because you're just so interested and you're connected like that. Exactly. Because we want to hear about everybody's lives, yeah, each other's lives, yeah. Yeah, and she started talking about parts work about IFS therapy and it resonated. Explain IF IFS therapy. Yeah, so it's it stands for internal family systems, and many people talk about it in a different way. It basically says that you're not one thing, you're made of different parts, and all these different parts, let's say your anger part, your addiction part, the managing part, the controlling part, they're all there to protect you, and they're mostly working really hard thinking that they're alone. Um, and they are there to protect you from feeling the deeper pain, the exiles we call them, mostly pain that is very old, old wounds, old childlike selves. So this therapy is very inward focused, very uh focused on the subconscious. During a session, most clients close their eyes and you almost go into a meditative state, and you have no idea who you met. You cannot plan like most of us have done.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Subconscious, it's so deep in there, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Yeah, and this and it's it it made a lot of sense to me when I heard about it. It was very effective also for me, and it's it's very effective in general, so I got certified in that, and then I found Rice as a professional. I was separated and going through divorce uh on a personal level, but that was what was missing. Uh, Rice having a big pillar of somatics, a huge focus on somatics too, parts and understanding and parts and breaking the patterns and and seeing relationship as individual work. Like the relationship is the cherry on the cake, but never works, you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yeah, and it's it we we've got lots of amazing clients worldwide, and it's just such a joy. And I I do often sort of say once I get to know my clients, because obviously Lauren's the queen, and we're we're the head coaches, so we're we're given um uh people uh parents, individual people as head coaches that they work with us, and you know, they might end up finding out that I've got my other business. I said, Yeah, that's the whole thing, is like I absolutely have a fully functioning big business in sleep and parenting, but I choose to be a coach for Lauren. I love it, I love working with you guys, it's just so beautiful. Yeah, we work just really, I think, really well together, and obviously we're working for you, but you trust us. Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

Explicitly, and something that I introduce every time I introduce a client to the platform, I introduce the experts that work inside. Because that's why you're in the space, not only for your professional expertise, but your personal expertise and the passion that you bring, and that I saw the way that you speak about breaking those generational cycles, the ones that we have inherited from our parents and the ones that we don't want to pass on to our kid. You know, and same for yourself, Leif. You know, the the passion that you have for breaking those hidden patterns and with the parts integration work that we do inside of Rise that's so unique. It's all not only a beautiful environment and a safe place to land, but it's a beautiful connection point because of the expertise and the personal love that you have for this work. Totally. And you know, you've you've made it your own, which is exactly why it's so effective.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

You know, you allow us to, you know, for me, you know, like that first six months was like, am I doing it right? And Lauren would go, Donna, it's okay. And and I I haven't worked for somebody for 20 years, you know. I've been heading my business for 10. So again, I'm saying this because how much I love this space is it's a choice, and um you would just be like, I trust you. And if things hadn't worked, you know, Lauren's obviously I'm always learning from Lauren and Leave as well, is like. Like processing it like parenting, like okay, that happened, maybe next time try this. Never like, oh my gosh, you've done that, and you know, I'm I'm so used to that people pleasing naughty, not I wasn't a naughty kid, but getting in trouble. And so this space is led by you, and but you're also allowing us to be our our best versions to support your clients, but it's also you trust us, like explicitly.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

And and whether it's the parts work or being having a business like like you've built, it is all about integrating all the sites, and by us already having done such work and having gone through our own personal crashes and not pushing certain parts of us away, but actually shining light on them and trying to understand them, that has created more coherence within each of our own being, and that also uh invites way more enlightenment outside, whether it's working together, where it's whether it's finding certain friendships, uh, things will flow more effortlessly because we're more coherent within ourselves, and that's that starts with being really honest with yourself and seeing just like okay, what are my patterns, what is what are my shadow sides, and how are they trying to help uh help me understand them instead of trying pushing them away.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

I think that's really important as well. It's when it comes to thinking about our shadows or our hidden patterns and things like that. There's wisdom in there, yeah. And I think that when it becomes less of a oh, how can we get this part to get out of the way or if we can just you know shut shut down or whatever it is, um, or heal it versus okay, what we're working towards integration, which is bringing the wisdom of it together so that our whole system works inside of trust. And I love how you mentioned there, like we can talk about shadows and we can talk about mistakes and we can talk about all this, but when it comes to that deep simplicity that all of us want to have so that we can deeply, deeply trust the decisions that we're making and our intuition and like the unconscious cues that we're getting from our environment and our relationships all of the time, we then have the capacity to give that back and it allows other people to be lifted up. So, for example, in a professional perspective, my my take is always have I set up a really, really good system so that the people that I'm bringing into it feel safe, feel supported, and can have big they feel free and their nervous system is able to just blossom from there. And the same thing again that I think you're able to bring to relationships, whether it's professional relationships or any other relationships, even parenting, you will be able to speak into it so deeply. Um, when you bring that trust into any space, but also the firm boundaries, like I've built this, it is clear, yeah, and I trust you if there's been a miscommunication or a mistake, to support me in understanding that art, and maybe like we can shift things together as a team. But that doesn't mean that like the system is broken.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Absolutely not, and you're still you're still the boss, you're still the queen. No, you know, but I and I don't mean that in a you know, I you're not coming across like that, but it is like what we're talking about with parenting, it's the same thing, it's like we still know that it's your business, it's it's rise, but we we want to do so we want to do the best we can for you because we have to honour that.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

And I know that you teach all the parents inside of Rise, but also in your own community as well, when you feel safe and when you have simplicity and you're able to bring that into like your parenting relationship, but also your co-parenting relationships, that's when things get so much simpler and people can rest and they're at peace, everyone gets to sleep. I know all of that.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

And you know, I was talking to Jen before on this podcast, she's a parenting expert, and it was same same conversations, you know, like it really comes down to the conscious living. We can label it all we want, but really it's just understanding ourselves, really shining the light, not a diagnosis. So when we start to do the subconscious work in Rise, I very quickly say to the client, just you know, let's let's you know relax and let me lead you. But it is not a diagnosis, it's not to frighten you or like, oh my gosh, it's just to shine the light that you can all work together with the parts that we either don't know are there, why we react, to be able to pause, to be able to, oh that's coming. That's the feeling, like the somatics work. Okay, I'm going to pause, I'm not going to react when I'm in that argument. Because I'm sure you can reflect back in the early ages of your marriage, stage of your marriage, and the way that you would have reacted or Morgan reacted.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Oh, yeah, we had a three and a half hour long fight over what we put in the dog bowl.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Like that's just a hundred percent. And that was me. I was so feisty because I'd grown up seeing something in my parents that I didn't want to do, and then indirectly I was trying to defend myself, and then Dave was doing the same thing, and we just fight over stupid stuff. But then for me, I was doing the work and like pausing, walking away. I I still didn't have all the understanding of what we do in Rise, and that's why it's such a good thing to implement to have the tools. I don't have the tools, you know.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

And and what we resist persists, right? It's also very energetically, the more we try to push against something or have something not be there, it still doesn't create the space to actually transmute and transform in a way that's more organic and more from the inside out instead of from the outside in.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

So that's the best explanation, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Inside out, understanding it. Yeah. Yeah. So so it's almost like also with clients, like there's a fear of letting go, of allowing, okay, there is this tension, and I'm not trying to change it. Oh, there's this pattern, and I actually, if he just hears how to change it, then he need then it will change. No, see it, allow it, not because you want it to continue, but then find ways to set boundaries, like there needs to be safety, but in that boundary, there is space, and there is some space to breathe, and then it will often transform by itself. Well, sounds like exactly what's happening.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Yeah, yeah. So it actually sounds like what Lauren did indirectly. So you've created a space, and what you're talking about is you were actually just on a journey to heal yourself and grow, but indirectly it saved your marriage.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

95% of the outcomes of your relationships, the outcomes of your behaviours, they are based on the programming in your unconscious mind. 95% of everybody.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

95%.

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Yeah, and I think that that's really freeing for so many people who feel like they just work so hard, so hard, so hard. And it doesn't fix it. And it doesn't fix anything. And but then when you realise that you it it gives gives people so much rest. Okay, I can actually take a break. I can focus on what's happening in time, and it will have far more of an effect than everything I've been striving so hard to achieve. And it's very clear when you meet someone who has unlocked that case.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Absolutely, you know, even spending the time with you here, and I feel like I've done so much, and I still have to do so much and leave probably the same, but the way that you respond to things and like it's just you're you've really integrated into your life a lot, you know. And I take I love it, I love being around it because it just reminds me to integrate it more. But I would feel like maybe for other people that are not on the path at all, would might feel that a little bit about how I respond to things now because how I respond to things now is very, very different than I did five years ago. Very, very different. So it's on a journey, it's on that journey of that. It's really about the self-regulation and understanding, isn't it? Yeah, slowing down, Donna, slowing down. Donna's always so fast. Um, so um, yeah, it's been an absolute joy to be here in Sydney, and I wanted to share everybody with you and our journey together because I think together, you know, we're obviously very honoured to be able to help everybody around the world to have that inner peace, really. Yeah, and it's not there all the time, that inner peace, but we're trying to really support people that it can be there and the understanding. For me, again, working with men and doing those parts which they've never done before, not even sort of any subconscious work. Yeah, and I've said to Lee for man that's his go-to was anger, and he knew it, and he was aware, and he's read a lot of things, and he's been to lots of counselling, and that parts integration, which was really the ego-protecting and the you know, the sort of the younger, happy kiddos where he sort of went to, he wasn't crying, but when he came out of it, he was wiping tears. So the the body was like, Oh my gosh, it's because I really let him sit with that little boy on the trampoline, and that little boy on the trampoline bouncing in this colourful trampoline, he had not had in his heart for so long, but that that is still there. Yes, and this is an actual rewiring, like you are rewiring uh also physically. We're in totally rewiring, yeah, and and we're in as we get older and our life gets harder, because that's life, we often get harder, you know, and that protective is full-on protecting. So the the joy in life gets to get a little bit dulled out sometimes, so we try and bring that back to people. So you know, and this has been such a joy to have you all together in the same space, you know. Yeah, and I think the thing is for us it could have easily gone really bad because ten days in a space together that we don't really know each other, yeah, it could have been hell, yeah. It could have been but it's been so beautiful, and we just keep telling each other how lucky we are and blessed, and I mean it's really been a beautiful cementing of our friendship to move forward to help others, yeah. Absolutely, you know, like this is just the beginning girls, yes, don't you think? Yes, we were talking about the next meetup. Yeah, next meetup already yearly. Um so thank you so much for um your time today and for me to be able to share you to everybody, and um everything will be in the show notes of how they can find us individually or in the Rise space to find out more about that because hopefully this has intrigued people. But I just feel like the love that we have for each other is the love we want to give to others. Absolutely you know, and and and we really want people to thrive in their life and to spend this 10 days with you guys, it's like, oh my gosh, it's like I wish I could bottle it, you know. Yeah, we will. So, yeah, we will. So, thank you, ladies, lots of love.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

Oh, thank you, Donna.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

So if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave me a rating and review. I love reading all of your messages. So shoot me a DM over on Instagram. It is parentingcollective.au. I also offer a free 15 minute no obligation phone chat. If you'd like to book one, head over to my website, www.parentingcollective.com.au, and request one there. So try to remember to be kind to yourself and always know you're doing the best you can every day, no matter what your day is looking like. Until next time, much love.