982. The 7 Day Reset: Fitness

This episode continues the 7-Day Reset using my 3×5 Method—a simple framework built to help you navigate life with clarity and consistency.

We use 5 essential life skills:
Communication. Curiosity. Creativity. Continuous Learning. Productive Confrontation.

To handle 3 universal problems every man faces:
Adversity. Uncertainty. Complacency.

Across 5 core areas of life:
Faith. Family. Fitness. Finances. Fulfillment.

Today is Day 3: Fitness—but not the way most people talk about it.

This isn’t just about physical fitness.
 It’s about mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical fitness—your overall capacity to stay engaged in life without burning out, numbing out, or breaking down.

I share honestly about a struggle I’ve been working through myself: trying to “get back” to the physical version of me from 2022 without fully acknowledging that life is seasonal. Different responsibilities. Different obligations. Different load.

When you try to force an old standard into a new season, you get frustrated, erratic, and discouraged.

This episode reframes fitness as capacity rather than intensity.
Your capacity to stay consistent.
Your capacity to recover.
Your capacity to remain present in your relationships.
Your capacity to lead without escaping.

If you’ve been hard on yourself for not being who you used to be, this conversation is for you.

Because fitness isn’t about going backward.
 It’s about building yourself for the season you’re in now.

Transcript

0:01

There was a quote that I heard recently that really gave me pause and the more I sat with it and just kind of let it marinate in my head, it explains a lot of what I've been wrestling with lately. And the quote goes like this. He said, how are you supposed to walk through life with a sense of purpose and meaning if you're disconnected from the data of your own emotions? We need emotions to set boundaries and to know what's okay and what's not. We need them for relationships, for trust and safety. But we also need 'em for leadership. And the men who are gonna be leaders of the future will have an exceptional level of emotional literacy and they'll have a very high capacity to regulate their nervous system. And that right there is what snagged me. Regulates your, your, your nervous system. Because when you look around at people right now, myself included, exhausted overstimulated, hijacked by urgency, I mean we're all rushing, fearful. You have the comparison clauses, clauses in there, and then of course, noise. And so it's no wonder your nervous system is all jacked up because your nervous system is completely, it's constantly lit up and when our nervous system is always on, the only way to squelch that to turn it down. Is to escape, to numb yourself and to some degree sabotage yourself. And I don't say that in a judgmental way because I felt that way too. Here's the distinction that is changing. For me, it's about regulation. Regulation is isn't about, it's not about being calm all the time. It's regulation. For me, it's about returning to baseline faster, more often without numbing. Escaping, or god forbid, sabotaging. I've been all those. It's just about recovery and once I understand this, it now reframes the way I look at fitness entirely. See, I was gonna come on here and talk about fitness. And I talk about it a lot on other episodes and how, getting some movement in every day. But see, it's, it's reading that quote and really sitting with that quote, I realized I was looking at fitness through only one lens, the physical part. But fitness isn't just physical. There's emotional fitness. There's mental fitness, relational fitness, and that goes along with the physical fitness, spiritual fitness too. Fitness at its core is capacity. It's your capacity to stay engaged, to stay present, to say consistent, to make progress. And also to stay regulated without breaking yourself your relationships and switching and reaching for some sort of escape just to take the edge off. Now, here's where things really got. A mirror -filled for, for me, I had to look in the mirror on this one. I'm in a different season now than I was four years ago. I am, and part of the struggle that I've been dealing with is I was trying to get back to 2022. It was a different season. October of 22nd of 2022 was my sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I was in a good point in my life. I was making the most money I ever made, but things were just amis. I didn't feel good about myself. I didn't look good. I gotten soft. And so that's when I threw down the gauntlet and said, no more drinking. I'm gonna work out every day. I'm gonna write and read every day. I'm gonna share that with the world. And damn it, I did it. It took me, I don't know, probably three months, January, so that was October 22nd, 2022. January, I don't know, probably the 13th or so. I remember posting my first shirtless picture, and that was January, 2023. I was shredded and I had moved from 227 pounds and I'd gotten down as little as 189 pounds. I actually had like a 33 inch waist. It was tiny. And now keep in mind, this is a far cry from the offensive lineman days of 285 pounds. See, I've had many seasons, many cycles in my life. And October 22nd, 2022 was that season where I said, this is what I want. And damn it, I did it, but I sacrificed everything to do it. Literally, luckily I have a family that just absolutely loves me. God bless 'em, and they supported me. They let me do my thing.

I was up at 3: 6:52

30 in the morning. I was at the gym. I was hardcore on my caloric intake. I think I was taking in like 2000 calories and some days I tried to do even less than that, and I got it. But I paid for it. I paid for it in presence. And after a year of doing that, so from October of 22 to October of 23. I crossed that year Mark never missed a workout. Literally never missed a workout. Three 30 every morning. Didn't matter if I had four hours of sleep. You can go back and listen to those episodes that I did during that time and I was talking way different. I was like real edgy G. And once I crossed that year mark, I pulled up. It wasn't important to me anymore. I wanted to have a few drinks when I was socializing, when me and my wife went out for date night. I mean, the date night in 22 was, you know, do y'all have chicken here? And vegetables and water? Uh, it wasn't much of. And I was so adamant about sticking to that diet. Like we didn't really have any social connection with one another. We didn't. We didn't really talk about anything, and part of the reason was I wasn't present. I was too tired. I probably slept for five hours. And that wasn't just one day, that was like all the time. So I couldn't even have a decent conversation because I was too tired and had to go to bed. I was just trying to get this over with, and don't get me wrong, I love my wife, I love our dinners, but now when I look back on it today, that wasn't what it was. But you know what? She rode that train. That was important to me and I did it. And so as time has progressed, the things in October of 22 that were important to me, they're not as important to me anymore. And some of the things that I've been kind of battling with. Was looking back at 22 and saying, that's the person you need to be. But see, I've had to realize this is how all this ties in. I had to realize, bro, I'm in a different season now. I have different obligations, I have different responsibilities, and I'm not willing to just dust. My family, my spiritual life, my marriage, my work, my creative outputs, my leadership, I, I'm not willing to just dust those off or leave them in the dust, I should say, put 'em on the shelf just so I can be cover, model fit. I got there. I looked damn good. But I'm not trying to be like that anymore. And that's the thing that I've kind of like been wrestling with, trying to get back to those days. And I had to recognize it was reading this. This is why I delayed and bring you this message is because when I bring you these messages, they have to mean something to me. Otherwise I don't bring them, not until they're ready. And I had to realize, marsh, you're not in that season anymore. You need to adjust for the season because when you're trying to get back to a season, you no longer are in different responsibilities. Uh, different situations now, different obligations, different pressures, and hell, I'm four years older. When you're trying to get back to those old days, you rush. And so you miss out on your presence because all you're doing is looking back. You shame yourself and you start trying to force timelines that no longer fit. And when you do that, you're inconsistent and you break things and you don't just break your body down more so you break your peace. Today, I'm still in good shape. I still work out. I still move. I still care. I'm not as lean. I'm not 189 pounds like I once was. So you know, my waist, it's a little softer. I'm not chiseled like I was. My pants are a little tighter, so I gotta tighten that up a little bit. But I don't have to tighten it up to 2022. I don't need to be shredded how I feel and the alignment that I put into my day and incorporating my family. My other fitnesses, lemme say that. Spiritual fitness, relational fitness, work, fitness, those things. Matter. Some of the shame that I had was really, I had a identity conflict and part of the identity conflict that I had is I didn't, I didn't want to come on here and tell you to do something that I wasn't. Doing anymore. And I've been that guy before talking about what I once did, but not what I do. And that's important to me. It's all about alignment, but also, and that's where the conflict came in. And the conflict came in because I didn't adjust for the seasons. The conflict was I'm in 2026 I am trying to give a message of 2022. I'm not that same guy. Just like in 2017 when I started the podcast. I'm not that guy either 2018, not that guy, either 2019, not that guy, either. 2020 2021, and I have to respect that. And I have to be okay with that. I don't need my old body back. I need a body and a nervous system that I can carry around in the life that I'm living right now. And this is where emotional literacy comes in. See, there's regulating your emotions. I'm sorry, regulating your nervous system. Making sure that you're aligned. And then the emotional literacy, that's important because when you don't understand your emotions, and that's where confrontation is key, you have to, you have to confront yourself. You have to get an understanding. Know thyself sometimes. The toughest person to ever know is really yourself.'cause a lot of times, if you think about it, we're always, we're addicted to the grind. We're addicted to the dopamine, we're addicted to being busy doing this, this, this, and hitting all these points and doing this. It rarely do we sit down and understand our emotions. And so when you're constantly running around, you're chasing this intensity when in fact you need the consistency. You need to understand the season that you're in and make the adjustments to still be consistent, but but that are aligned. With the season and what's important to me right now, and again, things change. There may be a time, years from now I may go super rigid again. I don't know. Don't really care. Doesn't matter. Doubtful, and I'm not saying I'm gonna be Mr. Honey bun. I. But also, I'm not gonna be Mr. Chicken breast in water either all the time. This is why I brought this episode. It might've been a couple episodes ago. Never missed twice. Never do it twice. Go back and listen to it. Never missed twice is the consistency aspect. Things come up. Circumstances come up, okay? Those days happen. Just don't miss twice. Never do it twice. Means that you can, you can enjoy life. And the reason why I brought that episode was because I was actually trying to work the fitness around in my head, and that was some of the residue that got left behind. Never do it twice, means enjoy it. Enjoy a night on town. Enjoy some indulgences. Just don't do it back to back. So you can literally have your cake and eat it too. Just don't eat it the second day. So that's what that is. It's regulating and adjusting and understanding all of this emotional data, the frustration that you may have. I realize for me. I was in conflict with my identity. I didn't adjust for my seasons, so I was the Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. I was trying to get back to the old high school days. No, I'm different. So you gotta adjust the slower progress Doesn't mean that you've fallen off. It doesn't. It just means that you're not in a rush. Never miss twice. Never do it twice. Boom. Easy little, easy little mantra to live by. Your consistency is a win. It's not a compromise. Your consistency to this season is a win. It's not a compromise. You're. It's not that you don't want it bad enough anymore, that's just not as important as it once was before. And it's okay to change your mind, to change your processes to make the adjustments because life is cyclical and seasons do not remain the same. Isn't this nice to know? You just have to have the ability to stay in the game without blowing yourself up. That's it. If I fail more than you, I'm winning. I love that quote Seth Godin said years ago, if I fail more than you, I'm winning. Your job is just stay in the game, so you gotta have enough chips to keep playing the game. You gotta have enough in the tank to keep playing the game across all domains, all five areas. Remember, this is a three by five method. Your faith, your family, your fitness, your finances, your fulfillment. All of those require fitness. They do mental fitness, spiritual fitness, relational fitness, emotional fitness, very important. So there's. How this ties in, this ties back to the fitness aspect, ties back into the faith. Faith isn't just belief. Faith is trusting that your boring, steady consistency actually works, not intensity. Consistency. Never miss twice, never do it twice. So even when you don't see the immediate proof, you lay the brick, you have a belief in yourself, and the results are gonna show when they need the show, how they want, need the show. But stop running around, beating yourself up. Stop running around trying to get back who you were 10 years ago. It's not gonna happen. It's not. And if it's not important to you right now, just adjust for the season. And that was the number one thing. That was like the aha moment for me. I was like, oh, all this time I've been, I've been living in 22 by not living there, shaming myself in 22. Why can't you get back to 22? I mean, you, you did it in three months. Why you can't do it now? It's not as important. Different season, different responsibilities, different environment. See, in 22, I was like rock bottom in. In some respects, I was starting to drink a little bit more, starting to escape, and I had to, I had to put that, I had to put that foot down and be like, whoa, I don't like where this is going. Good. I overcorrected because I get obsessive. I have an obsessive nature to myself. So I can, I can get that way and then dialed it way too far back. Me and my wife, I think we were at one time, like 20 pounds apart from one another. That ain't cute. I was a string bean. All right. Anyway. All right, so there's a, let me tie this back in. There's a faith component to this. Your, your faith says this. I don't have to, I don't have to force this. I just gotta stay aligned. That's all it is. I gotta stay regulated. See, when you're regulated, you're present. You are willing to allow feedback, and you adjust for the feedback. You don't need to escape. You can enjoy things, but you, you're, you're not trying to escape. So you're not in this sabotage mode and then lashing out once you cross that chasm, because then your real emotions come out. You don't need that anymore when you're regulated and you don't make your loved ones pay for your ambition. See, when you're dysregulated, you're snappy, you're short tempered, you're reactive, you explode, and you numb. And so ask yourself right now, like, am I regulated or dysregulated? If you're dysregulated, it's probably really simply, it's because you're not identifying the season that you're in right now. Okay? And you are older and you are wiser. We don't act like it all the time, and you have different responsibilities. That's cool. Just adjust. Just adjust. So when I talk about fitness in this seven day reset, here's what I mean. Fitness is not intensity, it's capacity. The question isn't, how hard can I push? The question is, what does staying fit look like? In the season that I'm in, not the season that you miss, not the season that is long gone, not the one that you envy. The only season that matters is the one that you're living in right now. And I think when you isolate yourself in this season and you work within that season. And I say isolate, meaning that stop looking back. Those were fun times. Great. Those were poor times. Great. Different season. So when you look at these things, your goal is not to get your old body back, and it's not to get be a a slob either. Okay. It's because remember we we're not trying to be the tennis ball guy, you know, the tennis ball walker guy. Okay? We, we wanna be fit, we wanna be strong as we go into this life, as we get older, we want to, we want to increase our strength, okay? But the goal isn't to get your old body back. The goal is to build yourself up physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally. All those fitnesses for the season that you're in right now, don't just don't leave 'em all behind. Because I've met physically fit guy and they had piss poor relationships. They were like bro, mentally jacked, like they had some demons in them. So I've met people like that. I don't wanna be that guy. Okay. And they live at the gym because that's the escape for them. Physical fitness can be the escape, it can be the way the numb. So they, they don't hit the bottle, they hit the barbells. And to too much of an extreme that, that can get kind of wonky too. So with the season that you're in, physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally. Now, when I say men too, I mean women also. Okay. I am just, I'm just saying men. You, you, you, when you look at these seasons, you don't just get fitty fitter. You actually get steadier. And when you're steady, you lead better. You lead yourself. You lead your loved ones, and you lead others. They gravitate towards you. You're good to be around. You're a good person. You got good energy about you, and you're not just. Shaming everybody else. So that's the question I wanna leave you with. What does fitness really mean in the season that I'm living, not the season that I'm trying to get back to flush that down the toilet. All right. We're only going to ask. What season am I in and what does that fitness look like physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, relationally? You can hit all of those areas and we do it consistently just a little bit. Every day goes a long way. Alright, the next time, the next part of the seven day reset is going to be the financial part of it. Okay. This is not gonna be some sort of debt reduction thing or anything like that. It's actually gonna kind of tie in probably a little bit to this is the, the financial fitness. And it's making sure that you, that you put yourself and your family in the right position. And I'll draw from. For context one that I did, I think it's the episode before this one, um, about rebounds and defense. I think that's important. And it's funny, man, when I bring you these messages, some of the things when I'm dealing and working through the seven day reset, I'm, I'm a, I'm, I'm resetting just like you are. When I do these, a lot of the other things, the other episodes that I share with me, with you, with me too, are things that I'm trying to understand so that way I can fit it into part of the reset. So we've dealt with faith, we've dealt with family. Yeah, we've dealt with fitness, and fitness is the tip of the spear, but it's not just the physical part of it, it's the other components to it also that we talked about. Alright, next episode, well, it probably won't be the next episode, but an episode whenever I feel it fully formed will be about. The financial fitness, but in between, then I'll bring you other episodes as well. All right. Thanks so much for being here. Remember as always, keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. Peace. I.