992. REJECTION Isn't Personal. It Is An Opinion & Has A Number.

Rejection isn’t personal.

It’s an opinion.
 And it has a number.

In this episode, I’m breaking down a powerful idea from Jia Jiang’s book Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection.

Most of us treat rejection like a verdict on our worth.

It isn’t.

And in this episode, I’ll explain why people respond the way they do—what their “no” is actually based on—and the surprising truth behind rejection that most people never realize:

It usually has nothing to do with you.

So when someone says “no,” the real question becomes: how do you handle it?

Do you rush into the ask just to get rejection out of the way?
 Or do you stay curious, confident, and creative enough to work through it?

Because rejection isn’t universal.

Not everyone will say no.

You just have to keep asking until you find the one who says yes.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to see rejection through a completely different lens—and why understanding this shift can change how you ask, how you sell, and how you pursue what you want in life.

Transcript

0:00

All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it this morning. In my random reading, I was reading out of a book I haven't read from in a long time, and it's a book. I would tell you that everybody needs to read. I don't care if you're in sales or just in life, so that's all of us because we're all selling our way through life. But this is a book, man. I'm telling you, you need to this, this is one of your lifetime books and Lifetime books are those that you just always have on your shelf or on your Kindle, and the name of the book is Rejection Proof, how I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through a hundred Days of Rejection. And this book was written by Jia Jiang J-I-A-J-I-A-N-G. And that's what I wanna talk to you about. Rejection is deeply, deeply personal. That's a universal problem. We all, we all get rejected and we're all very fearful of rejection. But one thing that he emphasizes rejection is human rejection is an opinion, and rejection has a number. And for years. Dude, I'm, I've been 28 years in sales and I tend to always look at rejection the wrong way. I, I do, I take rejection personally, and I have treated every no, as if it was some universal judgment of my worth, of my merit. Jiang writes, he said, if I viewed other people's opinions as a main judgment of merit. Then my life would be a miserable mess. I'd be basing my self-worth and even the course of my life on the whims and judgements of other people. Bro, think about that. If every opinion, if someone had about you, determined your worth, how jacked up would your life be? Because see, the universe is made up of people. With completely different personalities, incentives, and backgrounds, and their reaction to a request says more about them than it does about you. He explains it this way. He said, people give their opinion based on their mood, their needs, their circumstances at that moment are their knowledge, experience, education, culture, and upbringing over a lifetime. Bro, slap the book on this one. Let me reread that. People give their opinion based on their mood, their needs, their circumstances at that moment or their knowledge, their experience, their education, their culture, and their upbringing over a lifetime. You need to write that down. And every time you get big lipped and think the universe is just conspiring and everybody's just gonna tell you no for the rest of your life, you need to read that right then and there because rejection really is an opinion. Someone w would that, that's 50 years old, are bringing 50 years of experiences and opinions. In that moment, you've known 'em for five minutes, but they have armed 50 years of experience and the opinions, their mood, their past experiences, their fears, their biases, and their circumstances of that day, of that moment, and all of that, all of that shapes their answer. So why would you take their opinion and turn it into a universal judgment about yourself? Rejection is just an opinion. That's all it is. But here's the second thing, that's powerful. Rejection also has a number and realized this and. In an experiment that he did and the experiment. When he did the experiment, he said, I want to do something that is so outland. Like, what is something I would reject myself if I walked up? I would re, I, there's no way I would do it. And so he bought a bag of apples, stood outside of target and offered people apples. Well, what do most people do? I know I would just some random dude. Hands me an apple. What's it shot up with? I mean, especially these days, but all of our upbringing, you know, there's always, there's razor blades in those apples, you know, when we, when we, when we trick or treated. So he by and large got rejected, but there was one well dressed lady he handed an apple to. She said, Hey, thanks. And a couple of steps later. She bit into it and he like almost fell out in the parking lot. He looked at that and be like, oh my God. But that just proves something to him. He said, if a bad idea, like eating unwrapped food from a stranger isn't universally rejected. If that's not universally rejected, do universally rejected ideas even exist? In other words, if even that idea isn't rejected by everyone, then rejection simply means you haven't met the right person yet. That's all that means. He referenced the movie, , money Never Sleeps, and one of the characters asked the other character, he said, what's your number? He is like, what do you mean what's my number? He's like, what's your number that you just walk away and live happily ever after? And the guy looks at him with this maniacal look and says, more, more. That's my number. That's how rejection has to work for you. Everyone has a number. Some people will say no. Some people will say maybe, and some people will say yes, and your job is simply to keep asking until you reach the number that produces a yes, because statistically not everyone's gonna say, no, not everyone's gonna reject you. Someone will say yes. Remember the timeline you're on eventually. And ultimately, eventually someone's gonna say yes. You ask enough people in the right way, and we're gonna get to that in a minute. Someone will eventually say yes, and ultimately you will succeed. Do that enough times. But here's. The thing that's gonna get you there. You have to have, when you ask, you gotta maintain curiosity and confidence. That's something I've, I've just noticed, and as I was reading this chapter this morning, I was like, that's two things, bro. You gotta have, because see, when you're nervous, you lose your curiosity. The more curious you are. The less nervous you're gonna be because the nervousness is actually, you're putting the focus, the spotlight on you, and you're judging not only yourself, but your outcome. And if the outcome is no, which you think it's going to be, then you've cast that judgment on yourself too, because you're looking at the outcome, not as an opinion. You're looking at it more so. As a judgment on you, but if you can stay curious and just keep the ball bouncing, that's the analogy I have in my mind all the time, like, how do I keep this ball bouncing? If you can keep the ball bouncing, you won't obsess over the outcome. You won't even worry about the outcome. It's just another rep. And so you stop worrying about the rejection and you stay exploring. You just, you gotta hold your curiosity. You gotta maintain your curiosity the whole time. Jiang writes, he said, when you are not afraid of rejection and it feels like you have nothing to lose, amazing things can happen, bro. Isn't that the truth? When you're not afraid of rejection and it feels like you have nothing to lose, amazing things can happen. We've all experienced that moment. The times that you just went for it, you had no hesitation. You gave no Fs, no fear, and something popped open for you. You had a breakthrough. You're like, oh my God. Imagine carrying that mindset throughout your day, every day for the rest of your life. And here's the trippy thing. Sometimes the no you hear, the no that you hear is not a no at all. Sometimes it's a K -N-O-W It's that kind of, "KNOW" they don't know enough. They don't know if they can trust you. They don't know if it's gonna work. They don't know if they can afford it. They don't know if it's the right decision. And that's mainly what it is because people by and large are terrible decision makers. They're terrified of making the wrong decision. So if you stay curious and confident. You can help 'em see it differently. That's all you're there to do is just help people see it a different way, because again, you have an opinion. I have an opinion. I just wanna give you another perspective, another way of looking at it that maybe you can rethink your opinion. It will reshape your opinion. Confidence by definition is the belief that you can rely on someone or something. And that's someone is you. Okay? That confidence ain't got nothing to do with the outcome or judgment of someone else. Your confidence has everything to do with you that you'll figure it out. You will, the more reps you put in. And realizing that I just, I haven't found the right one to say yes yet. And so with every rep. You don't big lip it. You don't go tell commiserate with everybody else who's getting rejected too. Who's average easier said than done. I get it. But if you will maintain your curiosity and feed that curiosity through your confidence and that confidence loops back around and feeds the curiosity, if you will do that. Your competence will increase. You'll actually grow and get better through the experience. And that's the loop. See, curiosity builds confidence. Confidence feeds the curiosity, and that loop allows you to walk straight through rejection, not as judgment, but more so as data. And this is what I got to thinking about. How many times have you rejected yourself before anyone had a chance? How many times did you assume someone would say no? So you never even asked, all hands raised on this one. I would rather no than assume. I would rather ask and get rejected. Then sit there wondering what might have happened, because I refuse to let someone's opinion steal my dreams, rejection is not personal. It's human. It's an opinion, and it has a number. All you have to do is keep asking until you find the right one to say yes. All right, let's get outta here. Share this episode with someone else. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. Peace.