MVP's WTF? Paranormal

Unveiling the Kraken: Folklore, Giant Squids, and Oceanic Legends S8 E5

Season 8 Episode 5

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0:00 | 33:10

Not only do we question if the Kraken was ever real, but we explore whether it was a giant squid or giant octopus if it did exist. Join us as we delve into the deep legendary history of the Kraken. What do you think? As always, additional information can be found in the links below:

University of Washington's Interactive Oceans article on the Kraken
"The real-life origins of the legendary Kraken" - PhysOrg (ScienceX)
"Kraken: Monster of the Deep" - Joe Nickell, Skeptical Inquirer
"A Deep Dive on the Kraken, a Shipwrecking Sea Monster" - Nicole Antonio

"The Kraken: when myth encounters science" - Scientific Library Online Brazil
"Kraken and Giant Squid: Creatures of the Deep" - Westport Library
"The Kraken Is Real: Scientist Films First Footage Of A Giant Squid" - NPR

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Please visit our website: www.militaryveteransparanormal.com for access to more information about this episode and others, as well as other research and investigations we've done.

Evan

welcome back to mvps. What the, what the, what the what the paranormal podcast, where we talk about, well, everything the paranormal encompasses. So you ready, let's do this. All right, crack on then do this?

Wes

all right, crack on, then crack in. Ah, fucking name drop. All right, are we?

Evan

ready or what? Yeah, we're, yeah, we're there. All right, all right, I'm gonna read you guys a little something. Just just be prepared. Below the thunders of the upper deep, far, far beneath the abysmal sea, is ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep. The Kraken Sleepus, dun dun dun. Oh shit, I was going to ask if that was it.

Wes

I was waiting for something else, man, I was waiting for something else man.

Evan

That's a little snippet of a poem written called the Kraken by Lord Alfred Tennyson. He's a Victorian poet in the 1800s.

Mell

Yes, I do know Tennyson Lord. Yes.

Wes

He's a lord, I'm a lord. Did you know that? No I mean I did, I did not, yes, you did you did Evan, you did know I was a lord and Tiffany is a lady.

Mell

From what? What are you talking about?

Evan

Explain Elaborate.

Wes

Oh, we bought. I think it's one by one square foot.

Mell

Oh no, stop it. Yeah, yeah yeah.

Tommy

They planted trees for us, us and they sent us paperwork. We have documentation. They carve your guys's names in the tree.

Wes

No, but what I am gonna do is I want to wait for maturity and I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna cut my fucking tree down because it's mine no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna build something, oh shit, but but I'm going to show up, cut our fucking trees down, turn them into timbers and build something you know I'll probably replant a tree. Well, to put back what you take.

Mell

You know you're not really a lord or a lady. I hate to break that to you.

Wes

Listen to me, mel, if I could.

Tommy

She's all about destroying people instead of being like hey, good job on your one by one yeah, thank you.

Wes

You know what thank you I'm sorry that it's not real here comes fucking mel, you know so welcome mel's comments.

Tommy

Doesn't even know. She just cuts through people just like here.

Wes

She comes to wreck the day she's like oh, you really like that um no sorry no, sorry to break it to you.

Mell

Oh, you think? You won the lottery, fuck no and tommy is the on location in some random bathroom in virginia I'm not in a bathroom.

Evan

I'm in a bedroom, well I mean, it sounds like your audio begs to differ.

Mell

So sorry about his audio.

Evan

All right, you crazy listeners out there. We are talking about cryptozoology this whole season, so this week we're talking about the Kraken, the mystical crazy tentacle monster in the sea, allegedly Is it though? Let's go down the rabbit hole together. So the kraken, yeah, perhaps the largest, you know, most terrifying monster that has ever threatened mankind, apparently, allegedly or not allegedly, apparently, I didn't know this, but the kraken actually originates in nordic folklore from norway yes, yes, it does sir I was of this.

Evan

I always associated the Kraken with high seas piracy and was like, yeah, that makes sense. Pirates.

Wes

Yeah.

Evan

Anyway. So in Norway it was said to haunt the seas across Norway, through Iceland and all the way up to Greenland. The Kraken apparently had a knack for harassing ships and many said it would attack the vessels with its big, strong tentacle arms. And if this strategy failed, the beast it would start swimming in circles around the ship, creating a fierce maelstrom to drag the vessel down.

Mell

I don't like the ocean as it is. Now I don't like it even more.

Evan

Yeah, mail, don't do water.

Mell

I don't no Large expansive bodies of water. Mail don't do water. I don't I know large expansive bodies of water.

Wes

Mel don't water. Why have you ever seen cast away?

Evan

um yeah, have you watched jaws until you know what's in that water? Yeah all right man. So the? The legends say that the kraken could devour a ship's entire crew all at once, but despite its fearsome reputation, the monster could also bring some benefits at times. Apparently, when it swam across the ocean, it was accompanied by huge schools of fish that cascaded down all around it. The brave fishermen out on the seas could risk going near that beast to get a bounteous catch, but they also risk losing their lives. Hold on, pump the fucking brakes.

Wes

All right, so they knew of the kraken? Yeah, they knew this beast was the reasoning for all of these fish. Yes, yet they would still go tempt fate and play with fire. A man gotta eat, you know yeah, yeah motherfucker, you could catch fish by the bank, bro. I do it all the time, you're not wrong. I could tell me there's a kraken swimming around and you're like dude, there's 10 pound bass out there.

Tommy

I'm like there's a pond down the road yeah, but a lot of times, like the economy down south that catches all the you know seafood and all that stuff, they're out there trawling I've seen.

Wes

I've seen forest gump. I know, I know how this works I'm tracking, I'm just saying that's, that's fucking ballsy, don't you think?

Mell

I yes, well, yeah, but they're not just feeding oneself, they're feeding like the township. Well, maybe they should fucking teach.

Wes

Uh, you know, teach. Teach the people to eat less, you know. Then fewer fish could go further and they wouldn't have to go out there and battle a tentacled fucking beast for, you know, some sea bass. Look, I see where you're coming from.

Evan

Don't shoot the messenger, you know, I'm just look, I see where you're coming from.

Wes

I'm not, don't shoot the messenger, you know I'm just telling you what they did. My apologies, sir, I tip my hat bow away oh shit.

Evan

As far as I can tell, the earliest history mentioning of the kraken goes back to an account written in 1180 by King Svir of Norway. I don't know how you say his name. I believe it's pronounced Spear. Yeah, I mean, I don't think so. But carrying on from, there Douche.

Mell

Okay, so it was first reported when.

Evan

As far as I can tell, the earliest writings about it, about the creature creature, are back in 1180 that's crazy dude.

Wes

I didn't find anything that far back oh yeah, it's.

Evan

That's as far back as I could trace it, but what was um?

Wes

what was that one talking about?

Evan

I don't know, I couldn't actually find the written text or anything, or you know, but I did it just of other accounts, talking about that account essentially yeah, I mean it was.

Mell

It's been embedded in scandinavian folklore though yeah yeah, absolutely it's pretty fucking wild.

Wes

You know all I mean shit. If, uh, if the vikings and all them crazy bearded cats didn't have enough to deal with, you know the fucking kraken, I feel like that's uh, you know that's the godzilla of the time, maybe well, I mean, it was written back in inch.

Mell

It was written about in ancient greece as well aristotle, uh, pliny kraken, yeah it wasn't necessarily referred to as the kraken it was.

Evan

It was a, you know, a tentacle sea monster, essentially they.

Tommy

They called it a a toothos, which means squid now, if you guys do the like the youtube videos of like uh squids trying to feel around on people's rafts or their boats, like they'll actually get their tentacles up and start feeling around like grabbing it, I can. I can visualize a kraken now. The reports that I saw had krakens where it would take two of its arms or tentacles and wrap it actually around the boat itself. They would have teams that would have to stab this thing and axe it. Yeah, so they actually had teams that would be on call for that purpose.

Wes

The battle stations.

Mell

So back in Norway, as the whole myth would grow and grow and grow and you would you know, the carcasses would come up on shore, maybe just like regular squid or whatever. But they interpreted that to be a message from either God or the devil and they called them sea angels. Really, yeah, interesting. In Japan there were even pictures of it or drawings. They would translate that picture and then draw sea monks and bishops, and that's why there are sometimes figurines.

Evan

Oh, I've seen some of those pictures. Those are weird as shit.

Mell

It's because of these.

Evan

It's like a man in a squid's body.

Mell

Yeah, like.

Evan

Squidward, I mean yeah, kind of.

Tommy

I would think more like Ursula from Little Mermaid.

Wes

Oh, dear God, what an evil bitch she is, man. That's an evil bitch right there Just saying.

Mell

So how does that relate to? How does the Kraken relate to the paranormal per se with crypto Like, are people not thinking that Kraken are real?

Evan

Well, for the longest time, you know it was a, you know, a legend essentially. I mean, people believed in it. You know, especially like in the 1700s. You know it was written about in numerous different, uh, texts and stuff. In particular, in 1753, the norwegian bishop, eric pontopadin I don't know how to say his fucking name he was the first one to really popularize the Kraken to the rest of the world. He described it as a multiple armed giant sea octopus, essentially, and described its destructive potential, as he said. It was said that if the creature's arms were to lay hold of the largest man of warship, it would pull it down to the bottom okay, so the scariest environment imaginable.

Wes

Thanks, that's all you gotta say.

Evan

Scariest environment imaginable yeah and then there's all kind of other different uh stories and stuff about it and you know it seems to be a lot of them from the 1700s and early 1800s yeah, I found a bunch of stuff during the 1700s, but you know a bunch of uh, I mean now, I guess we would call them short stories you know, but they're all just uh encounters that allegedly took place yeah, but I was just thinking like, visualize even our viewers to think about this like, uh, what is it?

Tommy

pirates of caribbean? They got a kraken on there that pulls down that boat. So you can just imagine being on that boat, and I'm not saying be chained or kissed by a girl, I'm saying like that's your only life raft before you enter the water and also this thing just reaches up and just tears apart your mask and cut your boat in half, like that's a real deal well, I don't get what you're talking about uh, could it also be like folklore? Uh, the like scare people from trying to go out onto the water.

Mell

I don't I don't think that they made the folklore based to try and prevent anything. I think the folklore originated from a sighting of a giant squid yeah, yeah, okay Can we clarify this for a second. Is it a squid or is it an octopus?

Wes

No, it's a squid.

Evan

It is a squid Well yeah, and before that we clarified this that in the 1800s it was thought to be a giant sea octopus. That's what the Kraken was assumed to be. It was assumed to be a giant sea octopus. That's what the kraken was assumed to be.

Wes

It was assumed to be a giant octopus that would cling, evan, and I talked about this, the fact that the I mean the kraken right is essentially the the the largest of the giant squid right. Evan, that's kind of what we were talking about the fact that you could have a super-sized giant squid and that would essentially be, you know, the kraken well, what do you?

Mell

what do you mean by super size? I mean, you know, you've got a regular fry, you've got a medium fries, you've got a large fries and then you got super size. So when you say super sized, how big are we actually?

Wes

I mean giant, giant, squid, 50 feet. Is that what they are?

Tommy

tentacles and yes, a giant squid.

Wes

If it's 50 feet, all right, that's a giant squid. Do you think 50 feet of tentacles could take a man of war ship down? No fucking way right. So you would have to supersize that fucking thing. You would have to scale that thing up like godzilla, bro.

Giant Squid vs Kraken Evolution

Tommy

No joke, that would be a kraken I was gonna say you take your 50 feet and you times it by 100 gives you 500 feet, and that's probably I'm thinking it's going to be around that big what the fuck kind of math are you doing? Because the man of war was like 500 feet, so it has to be around a thousand, probably double that.

Mell

So scientists are saying I don't want to just speculate here scientists are saying that if it were real, if let's say it was a prehistoric animal, okay, then it'd be longer than a blue whale, but not heavier.

Wes

And so they're saying about 100 feet long and weigh about two tons, 43 feet 43 feet is what they say the estimated largest yeah, the largest giant squid would be there's a dude. There's no way. There's no way you're taking down a giant, especially, you know, a man of worship. Those are fucking huge dude.

Mell

That's not big enough to take those down well, aren't they strong, though it's not just about size no.

Wes

No, yes, they are strong, but you're talking 50 feet dude. From the waterline to the top of the mast is over 50 feet.

Mell

So maybe it was bigger than that.

Wes

It would have to be. I mean the Kraken itself.

Mell

yeah, would have to be 2013 was the first video that they caught of a gigantic squid swimming 2000 feet below the surface of the Pacific Ocean, and they were able to catch it and the squid on record was 55 feet long. But then, in 2019, they caught another video of this thing and they said it was just absolutely massive yeah, man.

Wes

And what were they using to scale this 2 000 feet below? Like what? Was this just imagery? Like was this uh down imaging? Like what? What were they using?

Evan

they have ways of measuring things through their cameras. These days they have measuring devices built in and shit.

Mell

So they have these things down there that able to. They know the lengths of these poles and and how long it goes down, and so when they were able to catch it on film, they saw the length of where it started and because they knew how long these things are down underwater, that's how they were able to figure it out all right, so how? Big was that one I thought you said 55 one of the one in 2013 was 55 feet long.

Wes

Okay yeah, but we're still talking giant squid here, like that's what that is.

Tommy

That's a giant squid I mean, it could have been a baby. This is growing okay.

Wes

Yes, I, I agree with that. So my, my thought between the giant squid, all right, in a kraken, because, mel, you were asking, you know the difference, right. So I, I would say, you know, roughly speaking, right, you take like a Komodo dragon, right, that's a big fucking lizard, right, it's a huge lizard. But then you look at Godzilla, that's a way bigger fucking lizard, right? That would have to be the difference between a giant squid and a kraken. In order to be scaled up enough to pull a fucking ship underwater, you would have to be bigger than that well, maybe they were back then.

Mell

I mean, you know, evolution and our times have changed uh, there's the waters in the oceans have changed, ph balances have changed with the melting of the ice caps and everything else like that. So maybe maybe you know their ecosystem is not supportive for them anymore and or maybe we just don't see them. Like the NOAA ocean exploration team of scientists that recorded the, the 2019, they said that this was a juvenile giant squid, this was just a baby, and that's what they're saying, that the kraken is is just a giant squid. So what if it's just evolved to be smaller?

Tommy

55 feet to me is pretty big, but I'm still timesing that by 100.

Wes

Yeah.

Evan

I agree.

Mell

It's called the Architeuthis dux.

Wes

What the giant squid.

Mell

That's a scientific name for it. Yeah, and the eyes are the size of basketballs the biggest eyes in the animal kingdom it.

Evan

It's probably just to see well enough in the dark all the way down there in the deep well, that's what you have to understand is that giant squids live, you know, thousands of feet below the surface of the water, where it's really dark, really cold. They only come up to surface, not very often at all, and usually it's only when to die. That's when they come up to the surface.

Mell

So when I'm looking at things like this, the giant squid, maybe the Kraken, was what they evolved.

Wes

The giant squid evolved from was what they evolved, the giant squid evolved from. Yeah, yeah, I could get behind that. No, I agree. I think that out of all of the, the weird fucking trippy ass shit, you know that uh creeps people out, the things people talk about, you know that may or may not be real.

Wes

I think that the kraken has got to, has got to be running the gauntlet for the most likely to actually fucking exist man absolutely I mean, the only reason we even know that the the giant squig exists is because of finding carcasses washed up, you know, or floating in the sea. That's, that's how we found them it wasn't until the recently that we actually got photo and video evidence of them.

Wes

Yeah, I mean up until that I mean it was, yeah, like these things probably exist, you know, because you'd find pieces and well, did you know that there is?

Evan

yes, there's a giant squid, but there's also colossal squids bro come on, now doll come on man, I did, I did know about that.

Evan

That's what they found okay, wait a minute way, way down south right they found one of those floating um colossal squids are only native to antarctic waters yeah, that's where they found the big one floating in the water right and they have it onto that ship they are much, much larger in their body, but their tentacles don't reach out as long as the giant squids, but their bodies are massive I agree with you, west.

Mell

I think this is, of all of the weirdo things out there, this is one that is very, very, very plausible. So whether or not the kraken exists now, I think it's possible. Whether it existed way back then, absolutely I. I think, if anything the it could have been prehistoric.

Wes

Well, fuck the giant squids or colossal squids, whatever they were Once upon a time. I'm fairly confident man, I read those things used to feed on fucking whales, dude.

Mell

Come on, that's just a real snack.

Evan

It's just a real snack. It isn't food. It's a real snack, it's just a real snack.

Legendary Sea Creatures

Mell

It eats its food. It's a real snack.

Evan

Well, they battle. Giant squids do battle with sperm whales all the time. That's why you see sperm whales have these big gnarly gashes on them and tentacle marks all over them.

Wes

Because that's their only predator is the sperm whale. How fucking wild is that.

Mell

So a colossal squid has hooks sperm whale.

Evan

How fucking wild is that? So a colossal squid has hooks? Yeah, in in the giant squid's tentacle, inside the suckers on the tentacles have like, they have a ring of of teeth like hooks. It's like a serrated ring all the way around inside.

Mell

Yes, sucker, they pull big bites out yeah so think about this then if a colossal squid attacked a man of worship, it absolutely could sink it and pull it under, just with those things, because then let's say, if they remove it, you got holes, or if it can take a chunk out of a boat I guess it's plausible that it could damage a ship enough to, you know, make it gain so much water that it would sink it. The the Titanic got taken out by a fucking iceberg. That was shitty riveting, shitty riveting.

Wes

There were no rivets on a man of worship.

Evan

You're right, it was wood, not steel. Exactly.

Mell

So they could rip it out. They could. If they're taking chunks out, you know they can rip out a chunk of wood. You're just, you're going to sink, and I'm not saying I'm going to say it. The soldiers or the sailors, I mean, would be scared shitless. So they're going to. And those that survived, you know their memories are going to play tricks on them and they're probably exaggerating how big or it came up, but that's not to say that it didn't take the shit down I don't know, even even with the weaponry right, that these fucking things had hold it up right here.

Wes

A man of worship was over 60 meters long and weighed over a thousand tons, and you're telling me that a giant squid could tear enough out of that. I, I don't know. Man, a kraken, yes kraken.

Mell

I'm telling you a. I'm telling you a kraken could and I'm telling you a colossal squid could that's wood, I mean. And if it's underneath it first, and it takes a big chunk out, from underneath the ship first, and then from various sides it's ripping it out because it's that big. Yeah, absolutely. And where are they gonna shoot their cannons at themselves?

Evan

it's too close, it's stuck to the muskets are not going to do shit to it and because there's there's been several accounts written about people firing muskets at these things, and they just didn't do much to it.

Tommy

I've read a bunch about that too yeah, like I told you, they had a crew with axes and swords that would try to chop this thing up as best as possible I do have a question, as we're talking about, you know body, mass and size and everything.

Wes

Evan, you said that they have the largest eyes in the animal kingdom. Yes, yeah, does that mean they have the largest beak as well?

Evan

I would assume so, but don't quote me on that because I don't know. I know their beak is absolutely massive.

Wes

The beak itself is like bigger than your head yeah, I'm trying to think of something that would have a larger beak. Um, it's just interesting to me, is all.

Mell

I'm not 100 sure so in his first edition of systema naturae in 1735naeus, he actually classified the kraken as a cephalopod. He gave it a name.

Wes

He gave it the kraken name, yeah.

Mell

No, he gave it the name Microcosmus marinus. That's a major appliance. That's not a name, it's a unique monster inhabiting the seas of Norway. I mean, it's also in the natural history of norway, book um of 1752, eric pontip pontipedon is he the one that has the picture in the book?

Evan

about it. I couldn't tell you. I haven't read the book?

Mell

well, no, I mean when you did your research, is he the one that said um, it creates the whirlpool when it sinks it. Okay, so yeah, that explains it too. It will create this giant.

Wes

it'll grab onto the ship create this giant whirlpool and suck it under and imagine the mass. You would have to have to be able to move enough water to create such a thing. Just how? Strong you would have to be able to move enough water to create such a thing, just how strong you would have to be man like I mean, think about when you're in the backyard at the pool, you know, and you get five or six drunk friends to fucking run circles around the pool, you know what I'm talking about though, but you're barely causing enough ruckus to suck, you know, a tiny child into the center of that.

Wes

Imagine how big you would have to be to force a boat under the water.

Mell

That's fucking wild yeah, they're saying, though, that that's very plausible. Now, giant, just giant squids not even the colossal squids, they can create whirlpools. So when it sinks, when the squid sinks, it naturally creates this whirlpool.

Wes

That can I could see that, uh, that it using that as almost a hunting technique. You know, um, maybe it forces a school of fish, you know, or whatever, to the surface and then dives or does whatever to pull those fish. You know what I'm talking about, tommy.

Tommy

Yeah, I can see that Like kind of like, kind of like killer whales, how they they'll team up and make a bigger way to blast the whales off. That's their hunting techniques. And it could be that this technique is to bring it down to the ground. So it's so low that when it snaps it it could just keep it going.

Wes

It could yeah, right, I I I have a question really fast. Um, everybody did a light bit of research on this subject, I assume yeah yeah, did anybody in there investigating make any connection between you? Know the kraken?

Evan

and uh cthulhu like uh no, because cthulhu is a fictional being. You know, uh made up by hp lovecraft is that what it was?

Wes

yes, see, dude, the internet fucking trips me out sometimes, man. Is that what? It is what?

Evan

what katulu is yeah yeah, no, fucking you can. Hp lovecraft wrote the book the call of Cthulhu. No shit In the 1920s. No, the Cthulhu mythos was completely fabricated by HP Lovecraft in his stories Dude.

Mell

Genius? Do you think he based it off of Cthulhu?

Evan

It's said that he did, that. He took inspiration from certain things like that. But you know, I don't know. But HP Lovecraft writes some really wild, crazy stuff. I've got uh, I think I've got his entire collection here at the house dude, you squared me away, bro.

Wes

I had no idea.

Evan

I I thought that was more of a fable than, uh, you know, a creation no, and the way he wrote it, it sounds like it's, like it's because it's written from the point of view of like this investigator, or like a, like a journalist, and it sounds real.

Mell

So did you guys know that in 1873, there were three fishermen in Newfoundland that said a giant squid tried to sink their boat and they fought it off but they were able to get 19 feet of tentacle I don't know if I read that one so if they were able to get 19 feet of tentacle, that's just the tentacle. How big do you think this thing was?

Evan

53, and that was an attack on a 150 ton ship called the peril.

Mell

So come on brah.

Evan

The crew literally had to fight it off with axes and cutlasses.

Mell

That's wait, what? That's how they stop it.

Evan

It pulled the tentacles, pulled the ship, got ahold of the rigging on the ship and actually pulled it over and another ship had to come in and actually rescue the survivors wow, so that's telling me, I, I, I, I think it's the kraken let's go on a carnival cruise well, you also have to understand

Mell

oh, I don't cruise only like 80 percent.

Evan

Like 80 percent of our oceans are still unexplored. We have no idea what's down there.

Mell

They found a carcass washed up in Tasmania and its tentacles measured 26 feet, which is the length of a bus.

Tommy

Yeah, I still think that if we're talking about the Kraken, it had to be like 100 yards a tentacle.

Wes

Yeah, man, just look at the picture behind your fucking dude, I know. Look at, look at the size of those tentacles bro but that's probably just a little, that's.

Tommy

That's obviously no, I mean, but that's how I figure. That's how I would figure the kraken would be like that I agree, tommy.

Wes

I don't think that we have seen anything as large as the quote unquote kraken. All right, I think that we have seen a lot of big squid, huge squid, but I don't think we have ever seen anything like the kraken dude like I'm. I'm with you, tommy, I'm on board barely even seen giant squids.

Evan

We've never seen colossal squids, except for dead bodies we've only seen. We've never seen them alive exactly we barely even see giant squids alive. It's very, very seldom that we see that. So if there's something even larger than that lurking around out there thousands of feet below the surface of the water, I mean the chances of you ever seeing that are extremely fucking slim oh, we probably never will dude.

Wes

No, if any of them ever dies, the chances of it even making it to the surface are pretty low. I mean, just think about all the predation that's happening in the ocean. You know, I just think that tommy, I'm tracking what you're saying. I think that the kraken, like what we're saying the kraken is is a supersized version of anything we've ever seen. Yes, yes, but I do believe. I'll say it now. I think it's real.

Mell

I absolutely do.

Oceanic Cryptids

Evan

I think it's or at least at one point in time, was real All right so the general consensus cross the board.

Wes

Real or not real.

Mell

Real.

Wes

Real.

Mell

Real.

Wes

Fuck, yeah, real.

Mell

Awesome sauce.

Wes

Cowabunga bro.

Mell

All righty, then Done Son, fuck. Yeah, real Awesome sauce.

Evan

Cowabunga bro, alrighty then Done Son Alright, dude, cool. Somebody figure out how?

Wes

to get us out of here, God, I've been trying, dude, I've been thinking I can't figure it out. Man, if you're in a rowboat, don't go in the ocean.

Mell

Go fuck yourself.

Evan

That works for me, Alright. Good night everybody, you.