How do you process your emotions?
Amid the predictability of daily chores, we find a treasure trove of life lessons and laughter. We chat about transitioning back to a family of five, invoking both humor and heart in the routine of life. This episode is a reminder to cherish the moments with loved ones and a nod to the swift passage of time we all face.
Striking a balance takes work, especially in the throes of family commitments and emotional well-being. We explore the idea of slowing down, saying no, and the diverse ways in which we all process emotions, sometimes quietly and other times with the help of counseling. The power of prayer & faith is woven throughout our discussions, lending solace and support when we need it most.
Tune in for a heartfelt message and the reassurance that it's alright to enter a slower season, carefully selecting what we take on next.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
How do you process your emotions?
Amid the predictability of daily chores, we find a treasure trove of life lessons and laughter. We chat about transitioning back to a family of five, invoking both humor and heart in the routine of life. This episode is a reminder to cherish the moments with loved ones and a nod to the swift passage of time we all face.
Striking a balance takes work, especially in the throes of family commitments and emotional well-being. We explore the idea of slowing down, saying no, and the diverse ways in which we all process emotions, sometimes quietly and other times with the help of counseling. The power of prayer & faith is woven throughout our discussions, lending solace and support when we need it most.
Tune in for a heartfelt message and the reassurance that it's alright to enter a slower season, carefully selecting what we take on next.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.
Speaker 1:Are you ready to?
Speaker 2:join the force hello, hello everybody.
Speaker 1:How's it going out there?
Speaker 2:hello, happy tuesday. We are back again for another week, clearly, um. Last week we had yeah, we're still alive. Last week we had carter and liberty on and they were talking about our foster care journey. If you haven't checked that episode out, you should.
Speaker 1:It was super cute, yeah and now they blew up and they've become international influencers and they've um what's it called? When you divorce, your parents emancipate they've emancipated themselves and they've moved to europe.
Speaker 2:So so that backfired okay. So we are recalling, no renaming our life updates to let's catch up. Let's catch up and obviously we're going to do a quick recap and then tie it into like a little lesson, like we always do. So that's what we're doing this week and, and I'll be honest, not in a great headspace. Not in a great headspace.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say no comment.
Speaker 2:I just feel like life just.
Speaker 1:Is heavy.
Speaker 2:No, we can't say that every week after week after week.
Speaker 1:Hard but like sometimes you're just not feeling it. Life is overweight.
Speaker 2:Do any of you out there feel like you're just not feeling it Like when is it going to get easier? Life is overweight. Do any of you out there feel like you're just not feeling it Like when is it going to get easier and when is it not going to be such a battle?
Speaker 1:When.
Speaker 2:Jesus returns Until then oh man.
Speaker 2:Life is going to be my 600-pound life. Yeah, I think that it's just like the reality of the world that we're living in. It's just hard sometimes. And then I also think that when you're looking around oh, here's a philosophical little thing, little tidbit when you're looking around instead of up, no, but seriously, like I had a great day, great day, productive day, got to spend time with my parents, my mom just had surgery, we took them dinner, but still, like, sometimes all it takes is just one thing that you see and it just kind of makes you feel like failure. This is terrible. I don't want to do anything and as much as you can like just think I'm a mature adult and like I've got this, like I've got this. Sometimes you just feel comparison creeping or just um, or just like what's the word? Just inadequacy, or like feeling like an imposter. I'm not talking about anything in general, I'm just feeling like sometimes you just actually curious.
Speaker 2:I wish that we could like get like we could have a conversation with all, like everybody listening I know, because it's like the only reason I bring it up is because I want I feel like people do feel like this.
Speaker 1:You just get into a funk yeah, but I want, I'm, I'm curious is it just like my or our like perception, like we're viewing it through our lens because life has been heavy? For us so then, like everyone else's, the heaviness going on in other people's lives is more apparent to us. Or is everybody actually having like? This is just actually a heavier time right now for a lot of people I think that life has always been like we live in a broken world yeah, but like it hasn't always felt like this, it's been bad, but it hasn't always life used to be a little used to be skinny and fit
Speaker 2:no, but yeah, and like I don't know. And then you feel like, for me personally, I did not plan to go into this at all. But when I start to feel that way, like inadequate or like a failure or just like grumpy, then my tendency I think everybody has different tendencies my tendency is to overcompensate with perfection and then it's like, well, if it's not going to be perfect, perfect, then I'm just not going to do it at all at all. I'll do that with, like health and lifestyle stuff. That's like what was happening. We were getting ready to record and I was like already could feel myself in this grumpy mood and it's like, well, my hair looks like garbage, I look homeless, and if it's not going to be perfect, then I'm just not going to record.
Speaker 2:But then I remember like it's never perfect well one, it's never perfect, and that's not who we are and that's not who the podcast is. So why do I even care?
Speaker 1:yeah, like why do I even?
Speaker 2:care. Yeah, Like why do I even care? Because that's not what people come for here. They don't, so I don't know All that to say. I should probably go to counseling Start Wednesday. I need to go to counseling for the first time on Wednesday.
Speaker 1:Oh, wait for real. Yeah, oh, I didn't know. Learning, learning something new about you.
Speaker 2:I do, I'm excited about it, but if you are ever feeling that way, what do you do? What do you guys do? No, I guess I'll just say get back up, yeah, and just keep pushing forward.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I feel like.
Speaker 2:Because, I knew the reason that we're recording right now? Because we had talked about just skipping the week and then like bulk recording this week, which we're still going to do, just skipping the week and then like bulk recording this week, which we're still going to do. But I knew like it's always that thing where I knew if I went to bed in the moment, that's what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:But then you felt like crap later.
Speaker 2:Then I would wake up tomorrow and be annoyed that we didn't stick to our work.
Speaker 2:But I also knew if I would just push through, the bad mood which I'm already feeling, like I'm starting to get out of it, like the me tomorrow would wake up being so relieved that I did Like we have four episodes or three or four episodes that we're planning on recording tonight. And if I knew that as much as I didn't want to, I just wanted to be stubborn and go to bed. If I just pushed through, like the first 10 minutes of the first episode we have so much good content plan and I should just look, I'm a different person Just got to push through.
Speaker 1:You can see it in my eyes it's kind of you can see it in my eyes.
Speaker 2:All the crazy is gone.
Speaker 1:I'm so scared guys, I'm so scared.
Speaker 2:All the crazies gone, everyone. I'm scared.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like when it's late at night and you're just hanging out and you're like, hey, you got that ice cream in the freezer.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And then you're like, oh, it's going to taste so good.
Speaker 2:And you eat it, and then you maybe grab a little bit of other snacks, and then you wake up the next day and you're like what happened last night. Why did I do that? You're like what happened last night.
Speaker 1:And then there's the other nights where you say no to like the snacks and in the next day.
Speaker 2:Well, in the moment you're like this sucks, I'm hungry. I'm gonna push through, I'm just gonna drink this water but the next day you look up and you wake in the, you look in the mirror in the morning, you're like hey, I look pretty good, I feel pretty good, and then the whole next day is good. And then you just do that over and over and over and over again. Stacking little wins and then you feel so confident and you stopped breaking your word to yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you're a more competent person.
Speaker 1:Ed Milet used to talk about that a lot as being like a confidence thing.
Speaker 2:That's my problem. I haven't listened to Ed. My let in like a year.
Speaker 1:Really. I listened to him a little while ago.
Speaker 2:How is he different than he used to be?
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say yeah.
Speaker 2:I used to love him, and that's the other thing that's had me down recently.
Speaker 1:So much that he's different. It's just like I don't know. It's just like I don't know. The I don't know. It just hasn't been as in my opinion. Sorry, no offense, ed, if you're listening, you're not, but it's fine.
Speaker 2:Um it like the guests haven't been as good well, maybe he's run out and he also hasn't had us on, so no but that's the other thing. That's kind of had me down. This is so dumb, but um, there was an era. I hate using the word era, right now because it's so, buzzy.
Speaker 1:Wait, era is. Yeah, that's buzzy right now. Yeah.
Speaker 2:In my pajama era, in my mom era. Anyway, there was an era I would say it was like 2016, 2017, 2018. Good years yeah, no really when like podcasts were booming. I had discovered Rachel Hollis was really big back then and in the beginning, before she like lost her marbles, I was actually a really big fan. She was one of the main people who inspired me to start writing.
Speaker 2:Wasn't her episode, the thing that turned us on to Ed Milet Turned me on to Ed Milet, which turned me on to Ed Milet, which turned us on to Ed Milet, turned me on to Ed Milet, which turned me on to Ed Milet, which then turned all of the people at Pacific Coast on to Ed Milet but like we were living in California, rachel Hollis was like just just getting big and she was very inspiring to me at that point because she was a mom who like kind of was struggling with her identity and then kind of figured it out and she like, yeah, anyway, I don't, I'm not a fan anymore, sad to say. But Ed Milet was big Like. It was just like I think about all those people then, and there's probably, like I was thinking about it the other day, like probably six or seven of them that were like well-known names and a lot of them have either gone off like crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or been divorced, which is fine, but like just just taking different paths yeah, well, I would.
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:Ed hasn't done that I know, but he's also not the eddie that I knew he's not the eddie that I knew then he's not the eddie that when we lived in california?
Speaker 1:we were driving through his neighborhood looking for his house, just missing a little bit of the oomph yeah, I don't know, speaking of the oomph, the oomph oh, what was I oh?
Speaker 2:don't.
Speaker 1:We want to keep this short um, yeah, that ship is sailed even hit record you might want to double check oh, oh, yeah we're good, so just real quick. Can you let everybody know about the question you asked me up in our bathroom earlier? You're going to have to refresh my memory. Toilet paper. Oh, oh yeah, was it a question or was it a statement?
Speaker 2:I was just like I was so caught off guard. Something along the lines of do you ever what did I say? Do you ever wake up and realize?
Speaker 1:That you buy your own toilet paper.
Speaker 2:I buy my own toilet paper. Have you ever had that moment where you realize I'm a full-blown adult and I buy my own toilet paper?
Speaker 1:I actually do this thing like I I refill the soap bottle dispensers.
Speaker 2:I buy my own toilet paper, I pay the bills, I am the boss. And next time my kids mouth off to me, that's what I'm gonna tell no, but seriously, you won't buy your own. Why did that like? Do you ever have like?
Speaker 2:and then I continued on to say well, I guess he said well, I guess I never really thought of it like I was like you know, like the toilet paper doesn't just magically appear, and he was like well, I guess I never thought of it that way and I was like oh, that's because the toilet paper does magically appear for you, because I buy it.
Speaker 1:Hey does the um don't even does it? Does it shock you that the grass just magically stays cut? And is that the same length?
Speaker 2:no, it's not magical, because when you're out mowing the grass, I'm inside like when's it gonna be done?
Speaker 1:I got things for him to do yeah, and that whole list yeah is like magic to you too no, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's just interesting. You just one day you go to bed what's that kenny chesney song and you take a nap, and then you wake up and you're 35 and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife.
Speaker 1:Don't blink you weren't my high school sweetheart just like that. You're six years old and you take a nap and you wake up and you're 25 and you're high school it was 25, not 35, don't blink you just might miss, miss your babies growing like mine did.
Speaker 2:That one stung. When I just got that out it kind of burned my throat a little bit that one's real. Turning into moms and dads. That's the next thing you know. You better have 50 years, all right, and you're praying. God takes you instead All right and you're praying.
Speaker 1:God takes you instead.
Speaker 2:All right, Just don't blink guys.
Speaker 1:I'm going to. There's a whole that could be a whole other conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Also, don't blink. But also when you're grumpy and you're in a bad mood and you're like what I really, really, really want to blink a lot. What I really want to do right now is the easier thing, but what I should do is the harder thing. And sometimes like the fray says all at once, the crowd begins to sing. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Speaker 1:You're just full of quotes today. Is that a song?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's music. This is why I love music. So anyway, diving in to let's catch up. So kid count. How many kids do we have?
Speaker 1:one we mentioned this on last week's episode so we don't have to talk about too much.
Speaker 2:Three, three we're back to being a family of five.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it feels, weird.
Speaker 2:Today was our first official like.
Speaker 1:Normal day.
Speaker 2:Normal day of being a family of five. Because we talked about it last weekend we recorded. Did we record on Saturday maybe, and the kids came on Sunday and then they left with their mom and we left for vacation. Vacation like as soon as they left normal and then we were on vacation and then we came home saturday and five minutes after we pulled in they came for the night because we're helping watch them. So, anyway, we're back to a family five. This is our first weekday but does today really count?
Speaker 1:because our kids stayed at your grandma's.
Speaker 2:I mean it kind of does I was fighting with myself on that like it does, because this is kind of how our life goes when we just have three kids, which is the very first part that made me realize how weird this is, because we haven't had this in 18 months. Like we went to easter and my grandma was like, oh, can the kids stay?
Speaker 2:and they did, whereas like when we had seven kids, we had to split them up three different ways and we never they never yeah we never didn't have kids, we at least had a baby at home or something so that's been interesting, um, but we are, yeah, more on that in minute, but we're in a slower season. No sports, we talked about that before and so we've just realized like, ok, let's not, let's not wake up, like we just talked about waking up in the morning with regrets, like let's not wake up three or six months from now, regretting the decisions that we made in this slower season.
Speaker 2:But let's like, use it wisely. And so we're just going to work on being super intentional with this time, intentional with our kids, and we we're going back and forth about this but, like as of last night, we made a commitment of at minimum three months of no major commitments, because we need to regroup and recalibrate as a family, especially with foster care.
Speaker 1:Like we're not saying yes to any calls and then this morning I get a text message to say do you want to adopt these two kids?
Speaker 2:stop.
Speaker 1:I didn't say that I know I just sent you the post, yeah there was a post about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't say that, I know, I just sent you the post. Yeah, there was a post about yeah, the hard thing is when you're, when you've been exposed to this world. Yeah, it is so hard, it is going to be so hard to say no when you know the need and you're in it and you see all you hear about all these kids who need loving homes and you know that you not that you're the best family or the best parents, but like you can give them, you're capable and you have the you've been given we have the.
Speaker 2:We've had the calling you've had the calling and you've been blessed with the space and the resources, so like, why wouldn't you? Yeah, and it, but you also. That's what we were talking about in the car today. There's also time and space to be disciplined in, knowing that you need to rest, and recover. Which.
Speaker 1:Regroup.
Speaker 2:Something I was going to ask you, which you can answer if you want, but I'm going to answer it first. What is something that you're learning and working on? For me, it's.
Speaker 1:You're not going to like my answer.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead. For me it's like learning that I need to be okay with pausing and letting myself process. So, like, as I knew I've done this every single time and anytime something crazy or hard is about to happen, I subconsciously just busy myself Like I knew the kids were leaving. So that whole week I was like going to the store and running errands and doing this and buying random bags off Amazon and and like buying stuff from target that I should have been buying and pack. And then we planned to go on this vacation. Like I knew that they were going to leave on Sunday. So I was like, oh, we got to keep ourselves busy.
Speaker 2:And then there were a couple of moments on vacation where the first one, we were sitting on the beach and it was like I was holding our friend's baby, who's two days apart from the baby that we had, and I was. It made me. It like kind of made me, reminded me of the baby. And it was also the first time in weeks that I was like sat down and was like like exhaled, and then I just like couldn't stop crying so I had to excuse myself from the beach so nobody knew I was crying. And now I'm talking about it on the podcast. But it's like, just because you're keeping yourself busy and distracted, that doesn't mean the emotions of everything go away. So what I'm realizing is it just prolongs it. And that's what that trip did and it was great and it was fun. But now it's like time to get be OK with, like, processing emotions and processing hard things, and also it's OK if, like, it's OK to feel whatever you feel. Like I'm not expecting our kids to be crying every day about it.
Speaker 2:Like be okay with being where you are, but what I'm realizing is like I have a lot of emotions to process which is why I'm going to counseling and my tendency is just to like bury my head in the sand, pull myself up by the bootstraps, keep plowing forward and then not deal with it. Yeah, that's not healthy, so anyway, what?
Speaker 1:what? Oh, because of what I'm about to say, but I so kind of what I'm learning too, is that one. My, my natural tendency is also just to get bit, is to stay busy, and I I do that, even a lot. I feel like when life is good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I have a hard time sitting still, when there's things to be done and things to do. You know, I do have a hard time. I have to like force myself to rest and sometimes like it's easier at like at night for me to do that, because now it's dark and it's like oh you, well, there's things that you want to do. You needed light for it.
Speaker 1:you can't really do these things right now so that's why, like my thing at night is usually like a more restful time for me. But I'm also like learning through this and through the first time that the kids left, too, is understanding that I do like to push my emotions down, down, and I'm learning that everybody deals with things differently and I also feel like that's okay, like I feel like you don't need to go to counseling. I don't feel like I need that, but maybe for another season of life in a different scenario.
Speaker 2:I'm money. I don't think I need to go to counseling because I'm so screwed up, but I mean I am but you feel like you need to talk to somebody but I feel like if I don't force myself to sit down and process it, then I never will yeah, I, I don't know and I'm still trying to hash this out.
Speaker 1:So just everybody listening, bear with me because you know I'm also open to being wrong about this. But like I was just what kind of I don't know just dealing with this stuff on my like, we're trying to work through this on my own, I guess and I saw this thing the other day. It was a um, they had done this study and they were talking about how they studied these people that were going to counseling and that they, because they were going to, they, like our generation and some of the younger generations go to counseling a lot, and that there was also issues with just talking about your problems too much, that it keeps them in the forefront all the time yeah, like you never get past it yeah, and it just, you know, I'm not saying they're right or wrong, it just interested me as a perspective.
Speaker 1:And then, like I don't know, like I like, there's this old school way of like, of like being a man, of men, that men have always talked about, like feeling this pressure to just bury their emotions and not share with people and not be vulnerable, and all this stuff. And I feel like we got to this, that we went through this whole era of every over utilizing the vulnerability and people saying you need to be vulnerable all the time, you need to talk about everything, and these men are pushing it and they're gonna lose it, and, and that may be, you know, true in some cases, but I don't think that it's just a blanket answer. Sometimes I think it's okay. Sometimes I think it's okay to not dump your stuff on other people. Sometimes I think it's okay to just keep pushing forward and and be and just do and deal with it in your own way of being busy and like.
Speaker 1:For me, one of the things I started to realize is simple and easy, as it maybe sounds is just going to God. And if you think about these times in the Bible of these people, like King David when his son died and he mourned and he like ran out into the. I think I don't know if this is exact what it was, but I may be like pulling together different stories, but like running out into the street and tearing his clothes off and just screaming and it's like the other day I didn't tell.
Speaker 2:I say you ripped your clothes off.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't say anything to. I haven't told anybody this, but I it was. The sun was out and the weather wasn't great, but I decided to.
Speaker 1:finally, I've been telling myself I was going to go for a walk and I went for a walk in the middle of the day at work by myself, and it's like out in the middle of farmland and whatever, and I just got out in the middle of nature and I was by myself and I'm like never just by myself, yeah and like I felt the weight of everything that's been going on, and so I just started praying and I just prayed to god and I like let him know how I was feeling and letting him know that, like you know, I didn't like it and everything you know, instead of me running to some person or a psychologist or whatever, like I just got it off my chest to God and then I gave it up to him. You know, like I just like I trust you to take care of this and at the end of the day, you've always come through, you've got it, you're consistent and I got it off my chest and I was fine after that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But, like to me, it was like I didn't need to. You know, get on me and be Pamby with people.
Speaker 2:I love what you said and I actually love the way this conversation took a turn. I've thought about this a lot and it's kind of a weighty subject and I don't want to get it wrong. Another note that I have written here is like people don't want another source of information, like there's enough podcasts out there that help you get learn things you know. They just want real down to earth and like ways to connect, and I feel like that is not like our gifting, but that's like who we are as people. It's the space yeah.
Speaker 2:And so when we talk about topics like we're just bringing our opinions and what we're learning through life to the table and not that like it's the right way, but it's just like our perspectives and I've thought a lot about this like counseling conversation Cause we had it a couple of weeks ago Like I think that you saw a real or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was like this is really interesting because I agree, I think that so in so many areas of life there's this like pendulum, you know, and it goes one direction and then the next generation swings it so far in the other direction. That and in this, like counseling, like getting help, mental health thing is one of them and I'm not making light of it because I know mental health is like a very serious thing and I do think that it's running rampant in our world, in america right now. But I think that there's so many different reasons, you know excessive screen time, excessive consumption, keeping up with the joneses, just like walking not having god, yeah I was gonna say, like a lot of people like, they don't have a relationship with god right and um.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I mean, I definitely think it's a major issue and I and I'm not trying to be, but I love our two different perspectives, like I'm going to counseling this week yeah, and I don't think that that's wrong right, it's not, but it's also not the answer like for everybody.
Speaker 1:I hear people on mine say like every person should go to counseling every, every person and like could, could it benefit me?
Speaker 2:everyone maybe, but like also, some people don't process that way I think, that people who externally process maybe benefit from counseling better than other people who, like you you're pretty good at processing your emotions and, like you just said, like you went for a like, and it's not like you're ignoring or being negligent, and it's like affecting you. You know what I mean like you're a healthy, mentally stable person.
Speaker 2:I can truly say that because I see you behind closed doors and like, are there times when you struggle more than others? Yeah, but then which would happen, like right now, and what you said is like you went for a walk and you took it to the Lord and you, like, prayed about it and for you that was sufficient.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I think that's okay too and so like, and I feel like there is like because of this hyper sensitive, like what's popular over the past whatever 10 years, maybe not even quite 10 years, with these men all needing to be vulnerable and sharing their feelings and all the stuff like I don't think that, that's it. Maybe, yeah, maybe, there is a time and a place for that.
Speaker 2:And maybe there are some men that that's beneficial for Right.
Speaker 1:maybe some guys need to do that, but there's other guys that don't. It's like you don't need to. I don't need to run to my wife crying every time I'm feeling like upset about something or you know, or let everybody know how sad I am or how mad I am or whatever.
Speaker 2:And it's not like you're just stuffing, it's just because this and I look at it as it's emotional regulation. Yeah, and again there are some men who would benefit from crying or like sitting in a circle and crying to other men about it, and that's fine, no disrespect. But there are also men and crying to other men about it and that's fine, no disrespect.
Speaker 2:But there are also men and I. I think it's personality thing, I think it's the way that God builds certain people and wire certain people. And there's women like this too, Like I am more a woman who I don't been, I it's not I've. It is not easy for me to like sit in a circle with a bunch of people and cry about my feelings. I don't like I will talk about things going on, but like I will process and cry in private and that's okay.
Speaker 1:But like yeah, I just yeah, I just don't think it's a cookie cutter.
Speaker 2:One size fits all thing for everybody and I think the biggest thing and the biggest takeaway from this is, if you're a believer and even if you're not, I would challenge you in this we cannot dismiss the power of prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit and the power of taking everything to God first. Maybe if you're struggling I'm not saying maybe if you're struggling, I'm not saying maybe if you're struggling instead of going to counseling, you should do this. I'm saying if you need to go to counseling, go Absolutely. If you need prescription medication, absolutely. But like, also, don't forget the power of taking things.
Speaker 1:Like did you turn to God? It's like what did you? What are you turning to this of? Who are you turning to Romans?
Speaker 2:8.26. I remember, after my cousin passed away, I did a Bible. I don't want to say it was a Bible study, but my aunt and I my cousin's mom I was still living in California, she was in Ohio and we just kind of stayed connected and we were doing a study on the attributes of God and it went through the alphabet and every day we studied the different attributes of God and I don't remember the specific attribute, but it was the first time that I had ever heard this verse, romans 8, 26. And it says in the same way the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And that verse was so powerful to me because in that time like it was such a hard, like just painful time that there were days that I couldn't even find the words to say.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I couldn't even find words to pray, words to say yeah, and I couldn't even find words to pray. But that verse is even in those moments where you literally have nothing but like tears or groans to bring to god. Even in those, the holy spirit takes those and knows exactly what your heart and your soul and your spirit needs and takes those to god for you, and god's gonna handle it, handle it and he's going to help you work it out.
Speaker 1:And I think, like for me in this too, I think Pastor Brent I know he talked about this actually but like getting that actual alone time with God and like like I could do better with that, because I constantly feel like I have to be doing something and being busy and I again, I don't think that that's necessarily bad, but at the same time, like we get, we get we busy ourselves so much, like our kids are always with us, or we're really bad at filling our time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or even, like you know, for me, like in my, in my drive to work or, honestly, any other time, a lot of the other times that I've gone out and taken a walk, I'm listening to a podcast, you know, or music or something, and I don't ever take the time to just not be doing anything. And actually when I went and took that that walk, I everything felt really heavy and and hard and I didn't know, you know, what was going on and why I was feeling that way. So I actually turned around worship music and for some reason, when things are like that me just listening to some worship music it gets me in a headspace that's different. And so then I just sort of, you know, because as I'm singing or listening to the worship music and you start, kind of singing along and you're like saying words to God.
Speaker 1:And then it's like, then I just pause the worship music and start praying and like, yeah, and like it was easier for me to do that, I was out in nature, you know, sun shining on me. There's nobody within hundreds of feet, at least minimum of like at least probably a football field or more, from me.
Speaker 1:Nobody could see me. I was like kind of out, almost in the woods in a sense, and it was just like all right, I'm alone, there's nobody around, nobody's going to see this, and it's like all right, god, we're going to hash it out. So, what'd you do? I hashed it out.
Speaker 2:Start punching a tree or something.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:What did it look like to hash it out?
Speaker 1:I just started praying. I had a conversation a little back and forth.
Speaker 2:Oh, you were just talking, yeah, you didn't sound like you were on the ground.
Speaker 1:No, I wasn't on the ground tearing my clothes and shaving my head and you know punching trees no I just I just stopped right where I was at and just had it out like having, yeah, you know, but yeah, and it made me realize, like in that moment because like there was a moment, there was a few times, I was like I just I feel like I need to talk to somebody right now I was like I was like no, I'm not dumping this on somebody else. And then I was like you know what, that's okay, like I'm okay with that, I don't need to do that. Why would I just dump this on somebody else?
Speaker 2:I didn't even talk to god to do that, I know, but also like I think that something that we we have gotten really bad at is not just us, just people in general is like have you prayed about it as much as you've shared about it with other people? Yeah, because people can only do so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and honestly I think that some of it is too that like a lot of Christians not all, but like I think there's a good amount of Christians out there that aren't, they're not used to, maybe they've never actually just talked to God.
Speaker 1:They view prayer am I sitting in my chair? Good now. They view prayer as this ritualistic thing. A prayer is like this ritualistic thing and like I was just having a conversation with my god, like I have a relationship. I give a relationship with somebody, you talk to them, you know what I mean. It's like I need to, I just need to talk to them. Yeah, and people don't. I don't think a lot of people really see it that way. And then it's like, yeah, it's the, it's not as intimate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, that sounds weird okay, so what's the point of this?
Speaker 1:is that not everybody's the same, not every process is things the same? And that I think that for some people I'm just trying to put this out there to some people that I I think that it is okay to push your emotions down, yeah, like, and then have a conversation with god like I don't know. That's. That's where I'm at right now. Like, I feel like, like because I'm okay yeah and that's how I've been handling this whole thing and like not to dismiss counseling at all.
Speaker 2:however, just because you've been through something super tragic or super traumatic, that doesn't necessarily mean that you absolutely need counseling Right.
Speaker 1:Or to dump it on your friends and everybody else.
Speaker 2:Sometimes God is sovereign enough to just get you through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's my point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I love that that was not the direction that we planned to take, but we are back to a family of five, we are in a slower season and I guess this is what we're learning, like in this point of our lives, like we do have more downtime and our tendency is to just fill it up and commit to more and volunteer.
Speaker 1:So stay tuned.
Speaker 2:And say yes to a new foster placement. And right now, if it's not like already part of who we are, it's a hard no right Until next week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, until tomorrow, when you send me a text message.
Speaker 2:No, hey, we should pack up and move our house. Well, that is our, our tendency, but we will not. We're here to stay in ohio.
Speaker 1:Um yeah, I mean, and the last thing I would say is like nice we?
Speaker 2:yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think that's where we'll end it so my toes in the sand, it was great.
Speaker 2:We hope that you guys are all doing well. We hope that you guys got something out of this instead of us just like dumping on you. Oh yeah, we don't need counseling because we have our podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We're not just dumping on one person, we're dumping on hundreds. All right, well, we will. We'll talk to you guys next week. You.