The Bearded Mystic Podcast
Rahul N Singh is the host of The Bearded Mystic Podcast which explores the Hindu philosophy of Advaita Vedanta or Non-Duality in a very simple, direct and practical way. Episodes include discussions into eastern scriptures like The Bhagavad Gita, The Upanishads etc, along with discussions on the teachings of Mystics from different traditions and discussions about everyday spirituality. Rahul has been a spiritual seeker for over 20 years and has an open-minded approach to spirituality and finds that there is no one size fits all approach. A new episode is uploaded on every other Wednesday. Subscribe to the channel and don’t miss out on a single episode.
The Bearded Mystic Podcast
My Spiritual Journey: From Duality to Non-Duality
In this final episode of 2024, host Rahul N Singh shares his profound spiritual journey on The Bearded Mystic Podcast. He covers his early experiences with spirituality, significant mentors including his Satguru Babaji, and the challenges faced due to divergent spiritual paths within his family. Rahul discusses the role of literature, meditation, and notable figures like Swami Sarvapriyananda and Osho in deepening his understanding of non-duality and the Formless Reality. The episode emphasizes the importance of a supportive spiritual environment and closes with reflections on future podcast topics and a heartfelt prayer for universal spiritual awareness.
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview
01:29 Early Spiritual Influences
02:58 Role Models and Early Experiences
07:23 Challenges and Conflicts in Faith
09:05 Deepening Understanding and Spiritual Growth
10:26 Family Dynamics and Spiritual Struggles
11:53 Questioning and Reaffirming Beliefs
14:18 Experiences with Babaji and Other Gurus
16:59 Personal Losses and Spiritual Resilience
19:00 Meeting New Influences and Continued Learning
20:14 Babaji's Passing and Its Impact
21:52 Embracing New Spiritual Teachers
24:06 Current Spiritual Practices and Reflections
29:27 2023 - the Year of Ultimate Blessings
31:46 The right spiritual environment
34:00 Conclusion and Future Plans
Welcome to The Bearded Mystic Podcast, where we are waking and growing in oneness. And I'm your host, Rahul N Singh. I have been a spiritual seeker for over 20 years, with a deep interest in non duality. Today, in this final episode of 2024, I would like to talk about my spiritual journey. How it started, to where it is today. They are just snippets of 37 years of spiritual practice, without even knowing that I've packed in those years. Before we get started, a few things that I need to mention. To give your support to The Bearded Mystic Podcast, you can join my YouTube membership. Please do like, comment and subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube. If you're listening to this on your favourite podcast streaming app, then please do rate this podcast 5 stars and also write a review so the podcast can reach out to new listeners and do follow or subscribe to get future episodes. If you would like to ask spiritual questions, please email me at beardedmysticpodcast@gmail.com and let's start with a prayer. Hari Om Tat Sat, the manifested reality that is Hari and the formless absolute reality that is Om, are both the absolute truth that is. So from what my parents tell me, when I was around 2 years old, I used to chant, Om Namah Shivaya with a lot of faith and I remember seeing Shiva Ji's picture in my mom's room for a number of years. But this mantra and devotion to Shiva Ji were important and definitely influential for reasons I only realised later on in my spiritual journey. So, my dad, who is actually my stepfather, but to be honest, I have only ever known him as dad, because my mom married him when I was one month shy of being two years old. Before him, my Nanaji, my maternal grandfather and my uncles were also like my father figures. So, when my mum got married, my dad gave me the biggest blessing that I will always be grateful for. He gifted me the most significant part of my spiritual journey of my life, my Satguru. Baba Hardev Singh Ji Maharaj. Now growing up, I went to the Nirankari Satsang every Sunday. Every morning we would go around the dining table when we're eating breakfast and chant our Sumiran before we went to school. Which was the mantra given by our Guru. Tuhi Nirankar, Main Teri Sharan Haan and Mainoon
Bakshlao and this means:you are the Formless. I am in your shelter or your protection, please forgive me or please bless me, whichever one one felt at the time. My Sham Lal Uncle Ji, who was my dad's brother in law, was my first ever role model in spirituality. And what a great role model he was. He's the reason I love reading so much as he inspired us to read and keep learning in life. I always wanted to be around him as he was a calming presence. I enjoyed watching him make notes of what happened in the day in his diary and him sitting in the office and his words of wisdom forever have inspired me. Whatever he said, I took it very seriously. I remember the first book that he gave me, and it was called Precious Pearls, it was a tiny book, which was a book of spiritual definitions based on the sayings of one of the Nirankari Satgurus. And I looked forward to every Sunday and the summer holidays because they were spent with him and my auntie. Unfortunately, he died in 2000 and I was around 13 at the time. It was the first time I had experienced death and just disbelief. Death was alien to me and a life without Sham Lal Uncle ji was something I couldn't comprehend at all. I cried so much when he died, for months I cried and I still miss him so dearly. I remember three things about him that will always remain etched in my heart. One was his 'OM' tattoo on his hand. And the second was how he would recite the Sumiran I mentioned earlier, in his sleep. He would be fast asleep, but would remember this Formless. And then his one question that he would often quote to us is that if God is knowledge, then why not have it? I wish my uncle lived longer because I feel a lot of my challenges later on in life would have been easier to deal with because he would be someone I would definitely feel comfortable reaching out to. And I have the confidence that his support would have made me a lot stronger and definitely a lot more wiser. Sham Lal Uncle Ji, is just one of the many role models and inspirations that I had growing up. There are far too many to mention in this podcast but this will tell you enough that inspirational spiritual people were an ever present presence in my childhood. You could say it was a golden childhood because of that. As I was growing up, my Satguru, whom I will refer to as Babaji, would visit the UK once or twice most years. It was the highlight of our year because it meant staying up late, and there was just an amazing energy at our temple because of Him. I thought He was incredibly smart, had the best smile, and His hugs felt like the universe was hugging you right back. I never met unconditional love before, but I felt it was just so tangible with Him. So when my uncle passed away, Babaji knew I was close to him, and it left a vast absence in me. And that very same year, in the year 2000, we went to India for the first time and attended the Nirankari Sant Samagam. Now this is a satsang but on a massive scale. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world attended. I even did a 5 minute speech at this Samagam. It was an incredible experience and from what I remember. It's the vibe. You felt the buzz and most of all, listening to the many songs and speeches based on how to remain in constant remembrance of the formless was inspirational. From that moment, I became attached to Babaji. I wanted to see him every day, when I was in India. So although I had lost my first spiritual role model earlier that year, I gained one with Babaji and it was like it automatically happened from what I can recollect. My relationship with Babaji transformed from him being the nice man I met every year to my spiritual teacher and this was just the beginning. A few years later, in 2004. My dad started following a new guru called Kumar Swamiji who promised that by reciting mantras all your problems or obstacles like your money, health or educational would be removed by the devis and devtas by chanting those mantras. The promise of being rich was enticing for my dad and I don't blame him. We lived in poverty and this was an opportunity for him. So my whole family followed my dad. But I didn't. I refused to accept Kumar Swamiji as my guru and mind you, I knew him since I was a kid because he was a family friend and a great Ayurvedic doctor. But I didn't believe you could get rid of problems, and even if you became rich, when would these desires end? But Babaji on the other hand, promised Moksha, Mukti, Liberation through Brahm Gyana. For me, the path laid out by Babaji, made sense, and I definitely felt uncomfortable changing my Guru. So this obviously caused a rift in the house. This one decision I made at 16 years old brought intense arguments. But I also saw my dad deeply respect me for sticking to my values and my beliefs. As a dad, I knew he felt he was right and wanted me to benefit from what whatever he was getting. However, I just didn't feel like Kumar Swami ji was actually dealing with the issues of life. It was like he was more like putting a band aid on them. I saw people begging to get better and being irrational and again, I never felt their concerns were really being addressed. Even though I wanted to stick with the Nirankari Mission because of my faith towards Babaji, I do note now that there was a defect in my understanding that only came to the surface much later on. Or shall I say, the experiential understanding of the Formless hadn't been fully developed. It was there, I recognised the depth of the Gyana, but based on the experience, I was still on the shore. And, you know, there was moments maybe when I would explore the depths, but my understanding was still dualistic, and that God was something around me, I had to pray to him and worship him, and only through the guru who taught the Brahm Gyana was it possible to know God. Now due to my Dad's new guru Kumar Swamiji claiming to be the saviour of the day. He also kind of manipulated my dad, which in turn manipulated my family. He would tell my dad that Babaji and the Nirankari community will disown the family. I think he used the words blacklisted, but this couldn't be further from the truth for many reasons. In the summer of 2006, things in our house were bad, it had reached its peak, arguments were an everyday occurrence, and it was all because I didn't accept their new path. That summer, I remember it was a Sunday, Babaji was in Birmingham, there was a Samagam, and my dad told me earlier in the morning, before I went, that Babaji would not give me any attention because of all that has happened But that very evening, not only did Babaji call for me to see him in a room that was packed with His devotees singing uplifting songs, that honestly would just make the Atma dance with joy, He also gave me the biggest hug, and I told Him that I would always be His and that I felt I had lost my dad to this new guru. In return, Babaji told me that He would always be with me and that Babaji saw me as His own child. Babaji even danced with me to lighten the mood as the atmosphere was of song and dance. I felt like Arjuna that morning and my Krishna uplifted me on that very same evening. Days later, I would also be on tour with Babaji as he visited different cities in the UK. Babaji told me when we were in Glasgow that my dad would return to the true path and I had absolute full faith that this would happen. There are so many instances with Babaji that if I had to go through all of them, they would cover quite a few episodes, so I would spare the majority of them. But over the next few years, from say 2010 to February 2012, I definitely started to question whether God existed, and for a short period, I was definitely an atheist, you know, I was reading Osho and J. Krishnamurti during this time, and it made me somewhat antagonistic towards religion and spirituality. But one thing remained with me, if there was anything close to God, it was Babaji, and this was just very intuitive to me. One day in early 2011, my elder brother Amit ji asked me whether I understood the Brahm Gyana. I said I did. Then he probed more and wanted more from my answers. So he told me that I didn't fully understand Babaji's message or what the Brahm Gyana truly shows. He told me to stop attending Satsang and start understanding the scriptures and learn from other teachers so I could recognize the depth and appreciate the Brahm Gyana properly. At first, I resisted. But my brother said to give it a go, so, obviously I had to. Despite not attending satsang, very much between 2011 and 2012, I studied the scriptures, I even recorded a few YouTube videos back then. Now the issues with my videos back then was, it was immature of me to even think I could speak about spirituality. But, also I felt like after reading J. Krishnamurti and Osho that I could say whatever I wanted in freedom. But this was a misunderstanding of their teachings. So, I felt that the videos which I later deleted were nothing compared to today's videos that I post or the content that I have. But in appreciation, Osho provided a clean slate for me so that Nirankar, this Formless, could dwell. But, not as some personal god or a god with attributes but that I could be ready to understand that Reality is the Formless alone. I greatly thank Osho for opening doors to the Brahm Gyana that I didn't even know existed. At this time, I stopped referring to this Reality as God and as Him. I started referring to God as It and only said Formless, Nirankar or the Oneness. This put me on the path of non duality, which was necessary for me. I would say my understanding of the Gyana deepened, my questions for Babaji also deepened, and so did my silence when I was in His presence. I wrote poetry in this time, inspired by the Sufis, Babaji's discourses were no longer taken on a surface level, but the depths between the lines became very, very apparent. At this point, I stopped any dualistic beliefs from coming up and I addressed them with my reading of the Upanishads and the Ashtavakra Gita and many more scriptures even like the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. I started reading Ramana Maharshi's works along with Nisargadatta Maharaj. Another important element was that I started meditating every day. Which also helped tremendously because now the oneness was tangible enough for even the mind to comprehend. I had many mystical experiences during this time and interestingly, I remember one thing from a book I read on the Patanjali Yoga Sutras. To let go of these mystical experiences regardless of how magnificent they were and how important they may be. In 2011, my dad also stopped following Kumar Swamiji. They had a falling out, which led to my dad speaking to Babaji properly after a few years. The timing couldn't have been better. I had deep discussions with my brother Amitji, who even said that he felt a change in my being and told me that I could go back to attending Satsang every week. But remember, I said I worshipped Shiv Ji when I was a toddler. Well, trying to be a good son, I still used to go with my dad to Kumar Swamiji's events. And at one of his events, he told his disciples to read the Guru Gita. This Gita is a conversation between Mata Parvati Ji and Shiv Ji, on whom he worships, on who Shiv Ji worships. Now, I'm a reader, so I ended up reading the Guru Gita, and it only confirmed to me that Babaji was the Param Guru, and that is because Babaji gave us the knowledge to see this Formless directly. Then this also gave me an intuitive belief that it was Shiv Ji's blessing that I was supremely blessed to have a Param Guru like Babaji, who allowed me to directly perceive Brahman. Amitji, my older brother, unfortunately he passed in 2013 after receiving a heart transplant. His death was one of the biggest tests of my life. The days, weeks and months in the hospital, the uncertainty of that time had its overwhelming moments. But one thing that really helped was the Nirankari community during the mourning period. Every day, Nirankari devotees came to our house and gave so much support and love. Babaji kept in touch with us. And what I experienced when my brother was in hospital was the most humbling thing ever. After my brother's heart transplant, he was in ICU. I'd been messaging Babaji and I didn't receive any messages back from Him. Then I received a, a message from another number, and it was Babaji apologizing and stating that something was wrong with His network connection as He couldn't send messages to me. It was just nice knowing that He had replied, and then we asked to speak on the phone because things were critical at this point. So my dad and I spoke to Him. I remember the first thing Babaji said was 'I am really sorry that my messages didn't come through' and in my mind I was thinking, He didn't have to say sorry, He is my Guru. But this was why He was my Guru. He practiced what He taught. When He said to forgive others and also ask for forgiveness if you do wrong, He practiced this by asking for forgiveness to someone, a mere mortal like me. But it meant the world and it showed me that real gurus practice what they preach. And that was an eye opener. Now after my brother's death, my spiritual path went even deeper and it was gaining momentum. Spending countless moments with Babaji and being in His presence just helped my spiritual evolution. His grace was a force that my spirituality needed Another significant moment was meeting my dad's cousin brother, Pritam Uncleji in 2014. He had a warm smile, and little did I know that he was actually a disciple of Osho's. If I may say that just sitting with him, you could feel the expanse of awareness. There was spirituality coming from him, like it was just normal. One important memory I have is that he asked me, who gets liberated? And I replied, the soul. And then he replied, the soul is already liberated. It is already mukt. This was another mind blowing moment. A new insight. Later that year, I visited India and he gave me some books. One of them was Brahmavidya Abhyasa by Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha ji. This book deepened my understanding in non duality even further, but I couldn't grasp it all. But Pritam Uncleji gave me this book for a reason, and I still go back to that book today. He passed away a couple of years ago, but his blessings are still alive in me with me and I feel them. However, in May 2016, Babaji passed away in a car accident. This was a month before my marriage to my wife, a ceremony that Babaji was going to preside over and give us His blessings. His death destroyed me. I had never felt pain like this ever. I was in so much grief and I will even admit that I'm in this grief today too. I don't think a day has gone by when I haven't thought about Him, something will always come up in my mind about Him. Our conversations on my failings in spirituality, when my ego would come up, were no longer going to happen. I would never get random text messages just saying that He was thinking of me and that He loved and missed me. i lost not only a father figure, but my spiritual master. Who became my best friend too. I felt that my heart had been squeezed with all the love pouring out in my grief. One thing that my wife taught me, and something I am so proud of her for, was keeping the date Babaji set for our marriage. The most incredible thing about this was on our wedding day, I could feel Babaji's presence. It was so strong, that it overwhelmed me at times during the ceremony. It was one of the happiest days of my life, yet laced with grief. It was so strange, yet it was another sign that His blessings will remain everlasting. Following Babaji's death, His wife, who was by His side at all times, became His successor, Mata Savinder ji. And Her love and Her guidance echoed in my heart, that we can never forget what Babaji has done for us. And that we will remember Him always. We're much needed from people like me. As people are telling me to move on and accept the new form of the Satguru, something I was very conflicted about. You see, it's easy to get trapped into thinking the Guru is the body. So we go from one Guru's form to another form and can become equally attached to that. As I mentioned. Some told me that I should move on from Babaji and accept the new Guru. It was rather insulting because how did my love for Babaji mean I didn't accept His successor? So Mataji's words would always mean so much to me because it got rid of my confusion and inner turmoil. Mata Savinder ji Herself was suffering with late stage cancer, which She succumbed to in August 2018. She was one of the strongest women I know, and Her motherly love is something I definitely will never forget. A month before her passing, She declared Her successor, Satguru Mata Sudiksha ji Maharaj as the new Satguru, and She is my Satguru today. But does this mean that Mata Savinder ji, like Babaji, is no longer the Satguru? I would disagree based on my own experience. I would say I have three Satgurus in one form and they are all in the form of Mata Sudiksha ji. The Guru is never born and never dies. Therefore, being a devotee without any conflict means accepting that the three of them are my Satguru. It is a continuation where all three exist because as I mentioned, blessings are everlasting and so is grace. As long as the Brahm Gyana shines in my life as the guiding light, they will all be with me and that's very important to understand. So in 2019, I also started listening to Swami Sarvapriyananda ji, who we interviewed on this podcast. And he is a resident minister of the New York Vedanta Society. Now, his lectures provided a depth I desperately needed to understand the Brahm Gyana completely. You know, if you understood 99%, he was that 1 percent that I needed. He was like that missing piece in the puzzle. A side note is that one great thing about the Nirankari Mission is that it allows the seekers to receive the Brahm Gyana if they desire to know God or this Reality. There are no other rules or regulations so when Swamiji would speak, I would put the Brahm Gyana that I've been given since I was a kid in front of his words and they matched again and again to the Brahm Gyana. It just opened doors that I knew existed but ones I refused to open. So with those doors open, my appreciation for the Nirankari Mission's teachings had the possibility to grow further and my understanding of them to grow further as well. In 2020, COVID hit, and I could stay home. It meant I could meditate every day, listen to spiritual talks all the time, and spend more time with my wife. And for me, it was one of the times that strengthened my spiritual practice, and I know everyone has had a different experience when it comes to their time in COVID. But at the same time, I was also facing a crisis about whether I felt Satguru Mata Sudiksha ji was my guru internally, this is what I was going through but this never culminated into anything, as I mentioned. The appreciation was only about to grow further. In fact, this conflict met its complete end when I met Satguru Mata ji in 2023. I think my understanding of the Satguru has changed, but more on that later. Swami Sarvapriyananda ji at this point had many talks, I listened to so many of them, and I finally could say that I at least intellectually understood that this Reality is Formless. Brahman is the only thing. Swamiji's wisdom created new avenues of expression for me which allowed me to have deeper understandings of the Brahm Gyana and they were taking place within me. But you see, what happens in times like this, we start comparing. I would listen to the Nirankari Satsangs and I felt they weren't as deep. But this was because I wasn't listening to be inspired but to compare, when this happens, you may lose faith and devotion and this will branch out eventually to gurus you may deeply appreciate. See the mind is very fickle, and the mind is very manipulative, and winning the mind is the most important thing. So thankfully I nipped this in the bud in 2023. But let this be a crucial lesson, you can listen and follow as many gurus, I don't believe you should just follow one. Not in today's times anyway, but learn from them all. Have one teacher at least whose physical presence provides deep insights into this Ultimate Reality, but learn from many. Main thing is not to be fanatical or fundamentalist in these matters. There are teachings that Mataji shares that Swamiji does not share, but both of them complete my understanding because I'm a Gyani with my mind, I love Gyana Yog. But a bhakt, at heart, a devotee, at heart. I was always told that there was one guru in the world, and if someone is referring to a physical form, then I disagree. But if someone means there is one Guru because the Truth is one, and expressed in infinite ways, then I agree with this without a shadow of a doubt. So now my understanding is that Brahman, this Nirankar, this Formless, is Awareness or Consciousness. The teachings of Advaita Vedanta have really strengthened my understanding, I have found logic in its teachings, and merging it with the Nirankari philosophy, which at its core is Advaita because it does state that only Nirankar, this Formless is, everything else is mithya, has really created a beautiful synthesis, a symbiotic understanding that is both direct and deep. Due to this, I feel at home everywhere and I feel this is what Babaji wanted us to feel when He placed heavy emphasis on oneness in 2012. This then led me to start the podcast because now I felt ready and somewhat humble enough to share the little bit I know and have experienced. But the podcast has ensured that I continue to grow and as they say, if you put yourself out there and if you take one wrong step, you are a hypocrite. So it has made sure I am held accountable for what I say. And it isn't easy, but it's the best way in spiritual evolution, in the spiritual journey. So in 2023, three special moments occurred, and this is in chronological order. In the summer, I first met Swami Sarvapriyananda ji in Atlanta. He did a retreat on the Ashtavakra Gita, and it was mind blowing. I cannot describe my feelings other than it increased my desire for jivan-mukti. This was an event where pure Gyana was showering everywhere. Then a few weeks later, I met my Satguru Mata Sudiksha ji and She reignited that love I had for Babaji. Her husband Rajpita Ji is also extremely inspirational. In both of them I felt solace and a natural devotion which is necessary in spiritual life. On that very visit of Mata ji's, I asked Her for jivan-mukti and She gave me a hug. This is another moment when I felt Babaji's presence. All I know is that from that moment, my mind has remained established in this Formless Awareness. It has stabilized and it is evolving as it refines itself with peace and joy in the background at all times. Then this leads to that moment when I felt unconditional love again, when I held my son Krish for the first time, and every day since he has been one of the best blessings in my life, in fact everything I have spoken about today are the blessings that are in my life. Krish is such a happy kid and I love that about him. Being a father isn't easy these days, you know, social media is rampant with misinformation and over the top information and yet you will find snippets of inspiration and all I know I need to be the best role model for Krish. This has meant I have had to deal with my internal biases. I've had to deal with any anger issues that remain because trust me, tiredness brings it out of you. Alongside that Manisha Ji, my wife, has been the best wife and mother. She's there for us both. And her daily guidance has been equally important for deep reflection for myself. So what can I sum up about my journey here? There is a lot that has happened, so much more that I haven't mentioned in this episode, but having the right spiritual environment is important. Today I go to the Nirankari Satsang every week, I fortunately teach the kids there whatever I have in terms of spiritual understanding, and it is also a great way for me to keep learning and unlearning. It has also been a significant blessing because I can see that kids don't want faith alone. They don't relate to that. They want logic and common sense teachings. So, packaging what I've understood from Advaita Vedanta and the Nirankari Mission into something palatable has been very challenging. And I just hope I get to see the rewards with each kid excelling me with their spiritual journey themselves and that's the hope. The right spiritual environment means we need leaders, especially in our local centres. This is for every spiritual institution today. We need leaders who are living examples of the teachings, where hypocrisy is kept to a minimum and where humility is at the maximum. We need leaders and spiritual teachers on a local level to inspire and ensure that we are not just providing spirituality as some form of entertainment, but that it's truly for the attainment of who we really are, the Self, Brahman, Nirankar. The teachings of the Bhagavad Gita can help so many of us, and we should explore it. Cunningness, over controlling and resentment must stay away from our spiritual centres in the West. We need more interfaith amongst our own sampradayas and spiritual groups. We need to prosper and grow, and this will only happen if we have vibrant local spiritual centers in the West. We have something great to offer with the wisdom of the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, and it should be shared with as many people as possible. So this is my humble take on my spiritual journey and on the teachings I have grasped on the way. And let me know what you feel about this episode. Tell me about your experiences if you want and if you have any questions about it, I will be more than happy to answer them for you in the comments. You know, spirituality is my life and that is why I can't wait to share that in 2025, we will be continuing and completing my Thoughts on the Bhagavad Gita and then we will move to another text. These deep explorations are one way to keep spirituality alive within us. And, I would like to end with a prayer that may we all attain the highest in spirituality, and that we realise our true nature as this Brahman, this Nirankar, this Formless Awareness. May this Awareness remain with us, 24x7, and may we never fall back into egoic tendencies. May our hearts and mind expand with compassion, along with awareness of this Vast, and Infinite Formless. Wishing you all a very happy new year. Hari Om Tat Sat. The manifested reality that is Hari and the Formless Absolute Reality that is Om are both the Absolute Truth that Is. Take care everybody. Namaste.
