Hello hello friends. Welcome back to Tarot Reflections, your time to look inward, reflect on your mental health, and connect with your intuition. How are you doing today?
Like me, you might be feeling some heaviness and some shifting happening. I know that yesterday I was really struggling to connect with my guiding voice and my intuition — something that's really important in my process of creating these podcast episodes! And I think there were a few reasons for that, but one of the big reasons comes from above.
If you didn't know, we've just begun a once in a lifetime astrological event and change is coming. Now, I am not an astrologer so I don't want to get into the details because, let's be honest, I am still learning to understand it all myself and I would hate to lead you astray. But if you want to know what the heck is going on and how it will impact you, you have to check out my favourite podcast. It is a part of my spiritual routine. It's CosmicRx Radio and the host, Madi Murphy, is incredible at sharing what the heck is going on up in the skies and how it impacts us here on earth. I'll share the link to all things CosmicRx in the show notes because it is not just a podcast, but a cosmic community.
But another reason I felt heavy and struggled to get in touch with my bold, beautiful, spiritual energy is because I did something so exciting yet so terrifying on Sunday. Something I never thought I would be ready to do. And honestly, I didn't feel ready at all but I did it anyway.
On Sunday morning, I set up a booth at my local farmer's market and read the tarot for complete strangers. And they paid me to do so. With actual, real money.
I've read sporadically online for years now, usually through Instagram stories where I get to take my time and even write out notes on the message I get through the cards. I've read for friends who knew I was just starting and learning and would give me time to look up card meanings and make mistakes. And I'm reading for this podcast of course, but again, I get to take my time with the cards and refer back to my guidebooks if I have any uncertainties. But I've never felt like I would trust myself and know the cards well enough to read publicly. For strangers. Who would judge me. And while I did still have to reflect on some reference material throughout Sunday, everyone was chill and understanding about it. But reading for four hours straight did drain a little bit of my intuitive, spiritual energy. But..
Today, I want to talk about this moment in my life and the importance of doing something even if you don't feel fully ready. I'm going to dive in to where my fears were coming from, what was really holding me back, how I managed to not let that fear stop me, and how in the end I knew it was right to do it even though I didn't feel 100% ready.
Of course, my first fear holding me back was the fear of judgement. The fear of people thinking I was a fraud. This fear was definitely reflected in my decision to offer tarot readings as a pay-what-you-can service with proceeds going to The Living With Foundation. Now, there were many factors that went into that choice, but I know part of it was tied to the fact that it was easier for me to not take on any potential judgement because I wasn't forcing value on it.
Another fear behind this choice was the fear of putting myself out there, publicly, as a tarot reader. In my home town.
Let me be clear. I love my town. I love where I live. I love how much growth and progress has happened in Chilliwack over the past decade. But there is still a lot of hate in my town. It is a town with STRONG Christian roots. I had been told I was doing the Devils work and going to hell for reading tarot cards when I was in a work setting in Downtown Toronto. How would my hometown, with it's extreme right-wing views and a deeply embedded Christian culture respond to me?
Did I feel ready to face that?
But if you know me, you know those two things don't really scare me. I'm not one to let fear of judgement hold me back forever. And I almost welcome conversations that challenge Judeo-Christian, Cis, Straight, Colonizing views. So what was the fear that had stopped me from getting public about this tool that I love and am discovering I have some talent with?
It was the idea that I wasn't perfect. That my skill level is not at 110%. How could I ask for money - ultimately calling myself a professional tarot reader - if I didn't have every single card's associations and stories memorized? How could I set up a booth if I wasn't as good or experienced of a reader as say... Chris Corsini?
So how did I get past this fear? How did I let go of an internal need to be perfect, rip the bandaid off, and start reading for people publicly?
One key factor in this was absolutely the fact that it was a last-minute decision. I know people on the board of the Downtown Chilliwack Farmer's Market and they put out a call for last minute booths. On Thursday. By 10am Sunday, I had my booth set up and was doing my first reading. So once I put the option out there and had a confirmation, there was no time for second guessing. No time for self-doubt to take hold. I had to get up and get going!
Another element that helped me ignore or get past any fear was a saying from the world of entrepreneurship. It's the idea that if you're 100% happy with the product you launch at the start of your business, you launched too late. I mean after all, how do I think tarot readers like Chris Corsini became tarot readers like Chris Corsini? Every reader had to have their first public reading session. Everyone has to start somewhere. And what a better way to start than a small little booth with no set fee or even a requirement to pay?
And guess what. All those fears of judgement. All those fears of not being welcomed or accepted. All those fears of not being good enough... I didn't have time to feel those on the day because I was reading NON. STOP. There were people who kept walking by the booth time and time again waiting for their turn, waiting for a reading to finish. And everyone contributed, everyone paid something. Everyone expressed a sense of connection and value from their reading. Everyone was totally understanding when I had to double check what I was reading.
And I left vibrating high, wanting to do it again very intensely and very soon.
Now, onto this week's reading. This week, I'm reading from the Modern Witch tarot deck as I'm feeling super connected to it and learning from it still.
Our message from the Universe comes through the Eight of Wands Reversed.
Are we feeling a bit of overwhelm and chaos in all the things we want to be doing? All the projects we're excited to be working on? Is there an underlying sense of panic that it might not all get done?
There are a lot of moving pieces happening this week. A lot of demands being put on us. We want to be powering through all the things going on and we want to be making strong progress forward on them, but this week we have to ask ourselves if our hustle is moving us forward or if the hustle is just desperately trying to keep up. This card might just be our calling to slow down, give things time, and give ourselves a pause. It's not humanly possible to keep 10 million balls in the air at all times my friends. And when one ball starts to drop, the others tend to follow in a panic. What balls can we pass on to others or let go of from our lives?
And our card to help us strengthen our mental health, to build up mental resilience is the Knight of Wands.
With a double wand reading and Leo season in bloom, I am just feeling the creative energy that is surrounding us stronger than ever.
We have seen our King of Wands before. This is not the first time he's shown up for us in this podcast. He is someone who sees the big picture and doesn't back away when challenges arise. He is confident and his confidence lifts you up. He is a gifted and true leader. Not a boss or a dictator, but an actual leader. One who sees the best in others and brings it out of them. Who can listen and hear all sides in order to unite them together. He values creative thinking with a foundation of logic and reasoning behind it. I call it strategic creativity.
This week, I challenge you to be your own King of Wands for your mental health. Lift your own confidence. Tap into your strong traits and put them out into the world this week. Seek out your own creative endeavours with purpose. Lead yourself with heart, compassion, and courage. Be your own King.
That's everything for this week of Tarot Reflections, thank you so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love it if you gave us a follow or a subscribe and left a rating and review. Ratings and reviews breathe life into little baby starter podcasts like this and help us be seen so that we can keep going. For more ways to strengthen your mental health and live authentically, be sure to sign up to receive your Permission to Thrive. It's my weekly permission slip to you to do what you gotta do to care for your mental wellbeing and cultivate the life you want to live. You can sign up to get your permission slip at the link in the show notes. As always, find me on Instagram at meganmentally or on TikTok at tarotreflectionspod.
Until next week friends.