Hey friends, it’s your beloved mental health tarot reader back again. And I am committed to it this time…because if I’m not my Podcast Manager is going to fly to BC to literally kick my ass.
If you’re new to the show, welcome. My name is Megan te Boekhorst. I like talking about mental health a LOT. I also use magickal tools like the tarot in my own journey of introspection, self-reflection, and growth. It helps to connect me with that little voice inside all of us, the one that knows without doubt who we are and what we need and want. Some call that voice Spirit, or our intuition, or even our Soul.
Okay so, I’m going to be honest, and stop and call myself out here…What I’m doing right now? I’m procrastinating. I’m delaying diving into today’s topic by taking way too long to do the introduction.
Because the truth is, part of why this podcast has been MIA is the fact that I have written, and rewritten, and re-recorded this episodes three times now. I have felt strongly that it needed to be the next thing I talk about for months, and I just haven’t been able to get it right. And it hasn’t been easy to talk about. And I haven’t always had the emotional space to talk about it.
I am a Queer person. Growing up, I had to learn what straight was because I was having crushes on the guys and the girls. It was the 90’s and I had not yet learned that gender is not binary. When I was told what a bisexual was, probably in early middle school, I knew it was a term that fit me like a glove.
More recently, I’ve been pondering and exploring my own relationship with and understanding of gender. Presently, I am comfortable with She/They pronouns. While I’ve been practicing saying I identify as non-binary, it hasn’t felt quite so right for me…so that’s an area I am still discovering which is a very personal journey for me. I don’t think I’ll be really ready to talk about that for a few years at least.
All this is to say that one thing I do know for a fact about my identity is that it is Queer As Fuck.
Growing up in a town where it wasn’t safe to be openly Queer, and still to this day comes with many unique barriers for the Queer community, I knew I had to mask my Queerness and while I never considered myself to be in any closet…the Leo Sun in me was too confident in my identity to ever feel a need to deny being bisexual …but I thought I did a fairly good job in avoiding being flat out asked. Now I say thought because it turns out I wasn’t so great, but that’s a funny story for later in this episode.
So when I moved away from that town, only then did I slowly start to explore that part of myself.
But ironically, I never really felt like I found a community of Queer folk until I moved back to my hometown less than 3 years ago. I watched as out of terrible bigotry rose a resistance. The local Queer community found each other and said enough. And the tide began to change.
And I knew when I was moving back to this place, I wanted to be a part of that change.
The past year has developed and strengthened the social justice part of my life - particularly addressing 2SLGBTQIA+ issues. And when I started this work, you know, things weren’t great…there were some seriously troubling developments in the United States but most of my direct community was not yet experiencing daily harassment, abuse, slurs, threats, with more and more terrifying laws being passed that threatened the lives of my Trans and Queer neighbours down South.
Aka, the United States.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt pure fear for my safety because of my Queerness. But now…there have been multiple occasions in the past year. Enough where while I try to count, I keep remembering one I missed.
And I know, as an activist, I put myself in way more situations that put me at high risk of that feeling. But too many of them were completely unrelated to my Queer activism work.
And one was while standing outside a School Board meeting in my city this past winter. Which for the first time reached the level of fear where I determined it necessary to leave for my safety. I don’t reach that point easily and usually to my detriment.
The political and social climate for the Trans and Queer community is terrifying right now. Too many people, with backgrounds in science and academia, are saying they believe there is a Trans Genocide happening in the United States right now.
Friends, I’m going to have to cut about 10 minutes of dead airtime in this edit because there is no easy way to transition a conversation after mentioning Trans Genocide. And my ADHD brain forgot to pause the recording.
It is really hard to be a Queer person right now. It’s taking a toll on all of us.
We’re now in June and Pride Month feels different this year. For the community, I feel like this is a time we need to remember where Pride came from and how we got to where we are today. To remind ourselves why we have to stay strong and keep pushing forward, keep defending our rights and
And to our allies. We need you now more than ever. But we don’t need you to just celebrate alongside us. We need you to push back with us. To challenge and speak out against oppression. To be standing close enough to us that you also feel the rocks being thrown our way.
This year, I am coordinating the first ever Pride Festival for a small rural town called Hope. It’s the community I work in, where I spent two years as a Support Worker for persons with disabilities. Where I helped found the Hope Pride Committee. Where I spoke to District council to share some of my story and asked them to show their support for the community in a meaningful way. They said no, but that’s a story for another day.
Today I want to share the story of two allies.
Very early on to the creation of the Hope Pride Committee, I knew I wanted to organize a Drag Queen Storytime. And we have included one in the Hope Pride Festival.
Our committee received a grant to organize this festival. We are paying for most of the expenses through this grant and funds raised through a spontaneous fundraiser where we sold Pride Flags. Every single event is free to attend to everyone in the community and beyond. The vast majority of donations we have received have been offered to us willingly, we did not seek them out.
We reached out to three venues for the Drag Queen Storyhour event. Three locations that tell the community they are safe and inclusive spaces. One location we spoke to at length and had a respectful, meaningful dialogue with. One location’s entire mission and values align with events like this. And one location never took the time to even respond to my emails to tell me no, but in conversations with others referenced the emails in a way that told us they had read them.
Not one of those three locations told us yes, to let us pay to use their space. That is my story of allies who aren’t willing to risk getting hit by a stone.
Here’s my story of an ally who, from the start, has been willing to get hit by stones without blinking. Without hesitation.
Before District council even has been approached about raising the pride flag. Before Hope Pride had even hosted its first event or went public. As I like to say, we stepped out of the closet with a Queer Clothing Swap. Before we even had a list of events for the Festival. The head cop in charge, Staff Sergeant Dwayne Farlin, has told us he would raise the Pride flag for the entire month of June at the RCMP detachment.
I have many uneasy and difficult and uncomfortable feelings when it comes to police. And I acknowledge that I have the privilege of spending most of my life passing as straight. And being white.
And here I encounter this very traditional appearing, White cis male who was raised in Hope and by his own words has a privileged life.
So I 100% entered this relationship between Hope Pride and Hope RCMP with one foot out the door.
But time and time again, and in ways that continue to surprise me, my ally Dwayne continues to be an ally through action. If I had any feeling that this person was not genuine in their words, I honestly don’t know if the Committee would have moved forward in this flag raising.
We cannot do this work alone. We need our allies to be willing to take action. We need them to be willing to get hit by a rock.
Before I dive into this week’s tarot reading, I promised you one last story.
I have always maintained the belief that no one knew I was Bi in high school. That no one ever connected those dots. That was until just over a year ago now when I reconnected with an old high school friend. Who, out of nowhere, apologized for outting me in high school in front of a bunch of people.
Friends, I have zero recollection of this happening. None. Here my friend has been feeling guilty for over a decade, and I’d been thinking I was suuuuuper under the radar this whole time.
Now, for this week’s readings.
I’m excited to be reading from a new deck this week folks. I recently acquired the Queer Tarot, and I’ll be reading from it all June long.
So our message from the Universe for the week ahead is from… Our Queen of Pentacles.
This week, our Queen calls us to generosity and caring. She asks us to be mindful of those around us and uses the gifts you have to support and nurture them. She also warns us against spending frivolously this week. Rather, look for long-term investments. Where do you need to be investing your time or energy or money that is going to help you in the long game?
And our message for mental resilience during the week ahead is through the Ace of Pentacles. It’s time to look at your goals again and ask yourself what you need to do to get there. Where you need to work hard and grow in order to cultivate that vision into reality. This week gives us space to map out a plan for our future and see more clearly what obstacles or challenges may be in our path.
This was a long and heavy episode to return to friends, and I truly thank you for staying with me through it. These have been some really painful times for the 2SLGBTQ+ community and there’s an uncertainty about the future that scares me deeply. But there have also been moments of resistance through joy that have kept me pushing forward. I’ve been sharing more and more of my experiences of struggle and success in my role as a Queer activist in a rural community over on TikTok if you want to learn more. You can find me at TarotReflectionsPod though that might be changing soon.
What has changed is my Instagram handle! I’m now at MegansAWitch over on Instagram. But more on those changes later.
If you have enjoyed this podcast, I invite you to give her a follow and leave a rating and review.
Until next time.