Okay, full transparency friends. I am writing this episode stoned. So the ideas I’m about to dive into, well…they’ll either make complete sense and bring new insight into our lives or this is about to be a rambling mess and the only reason I moved forward in recording the episode is that I’m a little uncertain if this makes any sense and am worried imposter syndrome might be taking over.
The good news is, I have some fantastic friends who listen to the podcast and they will tell me if I’m talking nonsense so in next week’s episode you may find me apologizing to you.
If your new to Tarot Reflections, welcome to the pod. I’m Megan te Boekhorst. I’m a mental health tarot reader, wild witch, and community cultivator and I do not normally write podcasts stoned.
But I also have ADHD and I utilize cannabis in my spiritual practice. So when this idea hit me while I was doing some magickal self-reflections, I knew I better write it out before it was completely erased from existence.
Are you still with me? Great because now I’m worried I’ve built this concept up WAY too high so without further delay.
Friends, this week I want you to find a moment where you can connect with yourself, connect with your intuition, and ask yourself:
Do I know how I feel, or do i know who I am?
Now let me put this into a more tangible context.
Imagine you had a Facebook friend who - in 2021 - posts to the world “my family and I are proudly unvaccinated. We respect your decision to vaccinate but don’t force us to!”
I don’t imagine something like this is hard for many of us to relate to.
Reflect on the inner dialogue you would have in your mind. What are you saying?
For some, it might be an angry dialogue, along the lines of “that’s so selfish! Their ignorance is showing and they are putting vulnerable people’s lives at risk!!”
A person who knows what they feel could reflect on that response and recognize how they feel: angry, frustrated, maybe even disappointed in this friend.
But a person who knows who they are could take this a step further.
A person who knows who they are can recognize and pinpoint WHERE those feelings are originating from and WHY they’re experiencing them.
In our COVID Vaccine example, a person knows who they are could identify they feel angry because everything that has happened was so preventable, and now that we have a way to help eradicate this thing, there are people not fulfilling that role of being part of a community. They feel disappointed in the friend because they value community care and their friend’s actions don’t align with this core value. And now they feel a need to reevaluate the friendship.
They recognize the why behind the feelings.
Uncovering the why behind our feelings is a powerful way of connecting with our sense of self better. When we cultivate a strong sense of self, it strengthens our confidence. It provides a more clear guide in our decision making. It helps us in staying true to ourselves and what we are worthy of.
That last reason has been more pertinent to my life lately. Recently, I have made the decision to say goodbye to two really important people in my life.
And I miss them both, albeit in very different ways. But something in those relationships - two very different things - had become barriers in my life. They were not fitting in with the life I want to be building.
For one, that will never change. But knowing why I said goodbye, knowing why I felt it was time to end a decade plus friendship, has helped me move on from that relationship in a healthy and sustainable way. I will always care for that person, but that doesn’t mean they have to be in my life.
As for the other relationship… we’ll see if things change and they’re able to fit back in with what I want to build for the future, and visa versa.
But knowing those reasons behind my decision, behind the feelings I was experiencing, it allowed me to move forward stronger and more confident in my actions.
So this week friends, if you experience something that brings out stronger emotions in you, ask yourself if you know what you feel, and then ask why you feel them. Find out if you know only how you feel, or if you know who you are.
Now, into this week’s readings.
This week, the message shared from the Universe is through the Queen of Wands Reversed.
This is a week to connect with our shadow self. The parts of us we try to hide or run from. Parts that are inextricably connected to our identity, but the parts we don’t like to show.
The Queen of Wands in reverse is telling us to connect with this side of ourselves, because it exists for a reason. It’s part of you. You need it for something. It is here to show us something, something we need to know.
Oh boy are we in for some deep, contemplative self exploration this week friends. And so our message for mental resilience is more important than ever. And this week, interestingly enough, it comes from The Hanged Man. Which is a message of letting go or surrender.
It’s also a call for a perspective shift. That the old ways of doing things are no longer serving you. This reinforces the Queen’s message that you need to connect with what you’ve been hiding from. It’s what you need to be using to get through some type of barrier, something causing you to feel stuck.
The Hanged Man is also a sign that it’s time to slow down, reflect, and consider what is causing you to stay in a familiar routine that isn’t bringing you the results you want.
Holy crap, I just realized what The Hanged Man is trying to tell me PERSONALLY, and I’m not going to lie it felt a bit like a slap in the face. So be prepared for the Universe to give you a good snack upside the head to ditch this old program, ditch the story you tell yourself. Because it’s not working, it hasn’t been working for a long time, and it time to get past it.
Offft. I’m feeling a big, heavy, deep week ahead for us friends.
That’s it for this week. If you enjoyed the episode, please consider giving me a 5 star rating and review on iTunes or Spotify. Those ratings and reviews truly give us podcasters life and resilience.
You can find me over on TikTok at TarotReflectionsPod or on Instagram as MegansAWitch. All the fun links and ways to connect with me can be found in the show notes.
Until next time.