Hello friends, and welcome to a new era of Tarot Reflections.
I launched this podcast during what I now realize was an incredibly important time of transition in my life. The past three years have challenged my understanding of who I am and what I truly want. My core beliefs and ideas around relationships, family, work, and how this world operates have changed.
But one thing the Universe made clear to me is that the thing that really worked for me during those transitional years, the thing that fits with this new version of me, was this podcast.
And now, I’m excited to share that Tarot Reflections is part of my new business, Wild Apothecary. Launching on Saturday, January 20th, Wild Apothecary is your sanctuary for mental health magick.
I will be sharing more about how Wild Apothecary has come to be down the road. Today, I want to talk about the process of letting go of old ideas that no longer serve you, or parts of you that no longer fit right.
Like I said, the past three, almost four years have been a time of slow, slow change for me. But a massively transformational change.
Just to give a quick run through of some of these changes, since 2020 I have embraced my calling as a witch and come out of the broom closet, completely changed my career trajectory and entered a brand new field for my day job, moved across the country to build a life in the town I grew up in, reimagined what family means to me and found the family I want to grow old with, said goodbye to the idea of motherhood as a role for me. That last one in particular was a slow, and painful process.
I had always imagined myself as a mother. The how was ever evolving, from the idea of a nuclear family to adoption to single motherhood by choice via IVF… but motherhood was in my future. It had to be.
Now I can see that it wasn’t so much that I wanted to be a mom, but I just never thought about not having a kid. And because I didn’t adamantly not want kids - I didn’t feel clear and strong that they weren’t for me - I just kind of assumed I wanted one.
Now I recognize I’m in the rarely discussed middle ground: if things were in a financially stable place and I had a kid… then great. But if I don’t, I know my life is going to be equally fulfilling and meaningful. Like my sexuality, I go both ways. I could take them or leave them.
There is an element of consent and choice that complicate the feelings that go with this. For example, when I was diagnosed with PCOS and told pregnancy might not be in the cards for me, I was devastated. Not because I wanted to give birth to my child per se, but I didn’t like the choice being taken away from me.
And since my PCOS diagnosis, the motherhood question became a much more pressing question for myself than it had ever been before. Wondering if I would be a mom one day, or if I wanted to be a mom one day, occupied so much of my self reflection work.
With time, I’ve come to say goodbye to that vision. And many other parts of myself that no longer fit with my life. Philosophies, values, ideas, and some of the way I imagine myself leaving a legacy, I’ve outgrown.
But just because parts of myself needed to be shed, doesn’t mean it was an easy process.
It was a long journey of accepting this truth. And a painful one. It’s not always easy to say goodbye to who you used to be.
I’ve grieved and I’m still mourning the pieces of myself I’ve left in the past. And I’ve used ritual to help me in the healing.
From cord cuttings to letter writing, there are a number of rituals you can use to help you honour and let go of old parts of yourself. When it came to my journey in releasing the vision of motherhood I had for myself, I knew I needed to connect with the healing power of water in my ritual. A ritual bath was the perfect way for me to reflect on what I had learned, mourn what I was losing, heal my hurt, and have closure.
We’re still early into the New Year, and it is a time traditionally dedicated to self-reflection and introspection in the Western World. As you reflect on who you are and what you’ve created in your life, is there something that isn’t fitting anymore? What kind of ritual might you use to help you release this old part of your life?
Now for this week’s reading.
Today, our message from the Universe if from the Seven of Swords and the Five of Swords reversed.
There’s an energy of a battle surrounding this reading. Think of an area in your life where you might be fighting with something or someone or even yourself. Where is there a tug-of-war of ideas happening?
Now ask yourself: where in this battle is there deception happening? Where in the fight has ego taken the lead, and values have been put to the side? Who is lying?
If the answers aren’t clear, this is a warning to be mindful of trickery in the week ahead. And yes, this trickery can come from external sources, but you need to be honest with yourself and ask if you’ve been lying to yourself about something. Or if you’re letting your ego get in the way of what’s maybe the best answer or outcome to a situation.
If these answers are clear, or when they become clear, it’s time to step outside of yourself and look at the bigger picture. Remove your ego from the situation and ask what’s best in the overall balance of things? Is it time to be walking away? To cede the battle? Or is it time for the truth to come out, to expose the deception, and recommit to the ethical path to your goals?
You know the answers to these questions, or at least the answer will be clear to you soon. Trust your intuition in this and respect your values in this process.
That’s everything for this week friends. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please consider leaving a five star rating and review. You can subscribe to Tarot Reflections wherever you listen to podcasts, we’re even on YouTube!
Until we meet again.