Tshirt Truths with Bonny King-Taylor

But, are you _actually_ on FIRE?

July 24, 2021 bonny
Tshirt Truths with Bonny King-Taylor
But, are you _actually_ on FIRE?
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor. And I want to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the ideas that, when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us. You've heard that saying, change your language, change your life. Right? Well, it turns out that doing so is no more difficult than washing a stiff new t-shirt until you really want to wear it.

Let's get started by slipping into today's Tshirt Truth. Unless you're actually on fire. And by that, I mean 'en flambe' (French for 'on fire) in any given moment, you're probably okay.

This tool is the antidote for catastrophizing!

Next time on Tshirt Truths:  Is it a Want, or a DON'T WANT in disguise?

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Episode Transcription
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Tshirt Truths, Season 1, Episode 1

Title: But are you actually on FIRE?

(00:12):

Have you ever read or heard something and thought to yourself, dang, that was deep. I gotta get that on a t-shirt. I have that thought all the time. I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor dedicated to helping you change your life by changing your thoughts. I'd like to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the thoughts that when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us. Let's get started by slipping into today's t-shirt truth,

(00:57):

Unless you're actually on fire. And by that, I mean on flambe´, in any given moment, you're probably okay, this tool is the antidote for catastrophizing. And it's one of the first tools I ever wrote many years ago. It's helped a lot of people develop the habit of pausing and applying the SUD Scale. That's the subjective units of distress. Like when the doctor asks you on a scale of one to 10, how high is your pain? And it'll surprise you how much your brain can help you if you'd just let it. So let me tell you a story about how I'm not actually on fire can apply to you. My clients know that they can depend on me, whether they're currently on my service or not. And one of the greatest joys of my life is hearing from them years later, one day I'm puttering around the house and my phone rings.

(01:49):

It's a client that I haven't heard from in a couple of years, and that person was crying. And I was like, okay, hold on. Scurry, scurry, scurry, turn off the stove. As I'm walking towards the chair, I'm metaphorically, armoring up getting ready for anything. But when I settled in, I realized that they weren't crying. They were laughing. And they said I was getting ready to go into a meeting with my boss, which by the way is the thing we'd been working on. And I started to panic, but you know what? I heard your voice in my head and a smile spread across my face. I was not on fire. I went into that meeting and realized something for the very first time. My boss was even more scared than me. Thank you so much for helping me to see that. And I got to tell you a Listener...

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bonnykingtaylor)

Tshirt Truths, Season 1, Episode 1

Title: But are you actually on FIRE?

(00:12):

Have you ever read or heard something and thought to yourself, dang, that was deep. I gotta get that on a t-shirt. I have that thought all the time. I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor dedicated to helping you change your life by changing your thoughts. I'd like to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the thoughts that when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us. Let's get started by slipping into today's t-shirt truth,

(00:57):

Unless you're actually on fire. And by that, I mean on flambe´, in any given moment, you're probably okay, this tool is the antidote for catastrophizing. And it's one of the first tools I ever wrote many years ago. It's helped a lot of people develop the habit of pausing and applying the SUD Scale. That's the subjective units of distress. Like when the doctor asks you on a scale of one to 10, how high is your pain? And it'll surprise you how much your brain can help you if you'd just let it. So let me tell you a story about how I'm not actually on fire can apply to you. My clients know that they can depend on me, whether they're currently on my service or not. And one of the greatest joys of my life is hearing from them years later, one day I'm puttering around the house and my phone rings.

(01:49):

It's a client that I haven't heard from in a couple of years, and that person was crying. And I was like, okay, hold on. Scurry, scurry, scurry, turn off the stove. As I'm walking towards the chair, I'm metaphorically, armoring up getting ready for anything. But when I settled in, I realized that they weren't crying. They were laughing. And they said I was getting ready to go into a meeting with my boss, which by the way is the thing we'd been working on. And I started to panic, but you know what? I heard your voice in my head and a smile spread across my face. I was not on fire. I went into that meeting and realized something for the very first time. My boss was even more scared than me. Thank you so much for helping me to see that. And I got to tell you a Listener.

(02:42):

These are the moments for which I live!

(02:46):

Action is what creates habit. Habits become your expectations. Your expectations become your personality and your personality becomes your reality. So let's do a little exercise to help anchor this tool. First of all, if you're driving or in public, do not close your eyes, just listen and play this part again. When you're someplace safe from distraction, okay? Now close your eyes. If it's safe or gaze at a spot in front of you and reflect on a kind of medium hard experience in your past, remember all the feelings that you had and assign a number on the SUD scale one to 10 for their intensity. Now imagine those same feelings in the form of a cartoon flame all around you remember animation does not have heat or combustion, so it can't hurt. You. Just imagine those flames, the color, the shape, the movement, and then bring yourself into the present moment.

(03:48):

Noticing the ground on your feet, your seat on the seat of your chair, your head balanced on your neck and in your mind's eye. See those flames shriveling down and fading away. When they're as far gone, as you can make them assign a new number. And if it's above three, do the exercise again. If it's below a three, celebrate that as a win. Next time. When we go into focusing on what you want, rather than what you don't want, you'll get the key to snuffing those flames out entirely. But for right now, just imagine what it will feel like when you no longer have those thoughts.

(04:35):

Thanks so much for listening and be sure to subscribe, rate and comment on Tshirt Truths, wherever podcasts room, and then share the episode with friends and loved ones because everyone can benefit from getting more comfortable with who they want to be for even more life-changing content. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook links are in the show notes. I'll see you there and back here on the next episode of t-shirt truths with Bonny King-Taylor.

Thanks so much for listening
Welcome
Unless you are actually on FIRE
It's a client I had not heard from in years
Action is what creates habit. Habits become...
Notice the ground under your feet