Tshirt Truths with Bonny King-Taylor

Make Friends with Change

August 12, 2021 Bonny King-Taylor Episode 4
Tshirt Truths with Bonny King-Taylor
Make Friends with Change
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Why does everyone think that change is hard? Because we're primates. That's why your hind brain controls your survival. And the part of your mind that I like to call the small ego is in charge of keeping you safe by keeping everything the same, even the stuff you don't like. 

In this episode, we explore how biology, ancestry and social constructs combine to make us believe that we can't handle change.  With one, quick exercise, you can overcome that old pattern and open yourself up to creating opportunities 'out of the blue.'

Next time on Tshirt Truths:  The one motivating factor for all human decisions and what that means for you.

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Episode Transcription
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KEYWORDS

thoughts, t shirt, feel, hard, chemicals, physical sensations, work, change, life, primate ancestors, thought, risky business, negative thinking, mind, biology, quirk, practice, hind brain, predators

00:57

Why does everyone think that change is hard? Because we're primates. That's why your hind brain controls your survival. And the part of your mind that I like to call the small ego is in charge of keeping you safe by keeping everything the same, even the stuff you don't like. 

01:16

And we tend to believe that things are hard when other people say that they're hard. And it's a huge social construct for people to be taught to think that they can't handle making change. And part of that is carried on with biology, in that we have 65 to 70,000 thoughts every day 90% of which are redundant and negative. For us predictability equals security. 

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bonnykingtaylor)

00:11

Have you ever read or heard something and thought to yourself? Dang, that was deep, I got to get that on a T shirt. I have that thought all the time. I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor dedicated to helping you change your life by changing your thoughts. I'd like to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the thoughts that when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t shirt, we become more fully ourselves with more satisfying lives, and interact more effectively with those around us. Let's get started by slipping into today's t shirt truth.

 

00:57

Why does everyone think that change is hard? Because we're primates. That's why your hind brain controls your survival. And the part of your mind that I like to call the small ego is in charge of keeping you safe by keeping everything the same, even the stuff you don't like. 

 

01:16

And we tend to believe that things are hard when other people say that they're hard. And it's a huge social construct for people to be taught to think that they can't handle making change. And part of that is carried on with biology, in that we have 65 to 70,000 thoughts every day 90% of which are redundant and negative. For us predictability equals security. 

 

01:44

We're like our primate ancestors that way scanning the horizon ready to fend off predators when we don't actually have any predators except for each other. So if we are so bent on keeping everything and ourselves safe with familiar thoughts, why do some people love roller coasters and horror movies and risky business? Because those experiences let us feel that ancient fear while knowing deep down inside that we're actually safe. 

 

02:11

Personally, I am fundamentally opposed to jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. But lots of people love skydiving, because it proves that if we can survive a worst case scenario, like actually plummeting to the earth, we've won at life. 

 

02:26

In fact, the chemicals in your brain for fear and excitement are exactly the same. So when you're not actually being threatened by gross bodily harm, what makes the difference between terrified and thrilled? Choice. Yep. It's all about how you choose to feel. So what does it take for this evolutionary quirk to work in your favor? It takes action. 

 

02:51

Let's start with an inventory of the physical sensations you felt while doing something you love. Sort of saturate yourself in those feel-good chemicals, and then collect the thoughts that you had about it. And, what was your why what made you want to do that thing? So then set that aside. And I want you to pick an experience that you don't like one that doesn't have a huge emotional charge, let's do some practice before ramping up to the big stuff. So for example, if you truly hate your work, reach out, I can totally help with that. But don't choose it for this exercise. 

 

03:29

Once you have your example in mind, notice what you think about it. Which of those thoughts are the sorts of things that you air quotes, always say, those negative and redundant thoughts? And then I want you to try these thought replacements. I'm going to give you three today. 

 

03:47

I may hate this, but I don't have to. I don't know what to do differently. But I'd like to. If I've ever changed my mind about anything, I can change my mind about this. 

 

04:05

Okay, now, don't hear me say that you should just settle or put up with bad behavior or even compromise. What I am saying is that when you're soaking in the stress chemicals of adrenaline and cortisol, you're in fight or flight mode, and no creative thinking is available. 

 

04:23

And this incredibly simple shift will inspire your very powerful subconscious mind which is always working for you, even when you're asleep, and is the place where those 90% negative and repetitive thoughts live, to seek a new answer. An answer that doesn't depend on old patterns to make you feel secure. And who knows, an amazing new solution or situation might just fall right out of the sky. 

 

04:52

So to recap, you've been taught to think changes hard by biology, ancestry and social constructs But embracing a new way of being just means replacing those old tired thoughts and practicing a new preference. 

 

05:08

In our next episode, we'll dive deeper. And by that I mean way deeper into how you learn what it means to be you in the world. It involves an iceberg, a cave and a broom. You don't want to miss it. 

 

05:25

Thanks so much for listening. And be sure to subscribe rate and comment on T shirt truus wherever podcasts roam, and then share the episode with friends and loved ones because everyone can benefit from getting more comfortable with who they want to be. For even more life changing content, follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook. Links are in the show notes. I'll see you there and back here on the next episode of Tshirt Truths with Bonny King-Taylor

Why does everyone thing change is hard?
People make us think that
I am fundamentally opposed to jumping out of a perfectly good airplane
Let's start with an inventory
Inspire your subconscious mind
In our next episode
Thanks for listening