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We Are The Evidence: Finding Your Way After Sexual Assault

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Navigating the aftermath of sexual assault often leaves survivors feeling adrift without a comprehensive roadmap. Cheyenne Wilson transformed her own traumatic experience into a powerful resource that builds bridges over these information gaps. Her book, "We Are the Evidence: A Handbook for Finding Your Way After Sexual Assault," provides the comprehensive guide she desperately sought but couldn't find during her own healing journey.

Wilson masterfully unpacks the critical role language plays in survivors' experiences. She explains how definitions have evolved from narrow constructs that excluded many victims to more inclusive terminology that validates diverse experiences. When survivors question whether their experiences "count" if they didn't fight back or say no, these clarifications become lifelines. The distinction between advocacy language and legal definitions helps survivors navigate both healing and justice pathways with greater confidence.

The episode illuminates the vital differences between community advocates (who maintain confidentiality and focus on survivor wellbeing) and victim witness advocates (who work with prosecution). For women of color and indigenous women, additional cultural and historical barriers make accessing support even more challenging. Wilson compassionately addresses these complexities while highlighting specialized resources like the National Organization of Sisters of Color Ending Sexual Assault.

What makes Wilson's approach revolutionary is its trauma-informed methodology. She integrates survivor stories for validation, builds in mindful check-ins for processing, and structures the handbook to be accessed in any order based on individual needs. This acknowledgment that healing isn't linear empowers survivors to engage with difficult information on their terms. Whether documenting assault evidence, understanding reporting options, or exploring alternatives like restorative justice, Wilson ensures readers maintain agency throughout.

Join us for this essential conversation about creating pathways to healing that honor survivors' experiences and needs. Whether you're supporting someone who's experienced sexual assault or seeking resources for yourself, this episode offers concrete tools, validation, and hope for the journey ahead.

Speaker 1:

For survivors of sexual assault in need of support, resources and guidance. Today's guest, cheyenne Wilson, wrote the book on those topics and more. She joins us to discuss her book we Are the Evidence a handbook for finding your way after sexual assault, with the goal of helping survivors and those who support them. I'm Maria McMullin and this is Genesis, the podcast podcast.

Speaker 1:

Cheyenne Wilson, bsn is a passionate advocate dedicated to raising awareness about sexual assault and reducing the stigma faced by survivors. With a background in social services and nursing, she blends empathy with professional expertise to drive meaningful change in both the justice and healthcare systems. At age 29, cheyenne authored we Are the Evidence a handbook for finding your way after sexual assault a comprehensive and accessible resource designed to support survivors and enhance public understanding of sexual violence. Her personal experiences have deeply shaped her commitment to this cause, fueling her to work to provide critical resources, survivor-centered education and systemic advocacy. She actively collaborates with organizations to improve the support systems available to survivors, ensuring they receive the care and advocacy they deserve. The following episode discusses sexual violence Cheyenne Wilson. Welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, I'm really excited to be here.

Speaker 1:

And I'm excited to talk to you because you wrote a book recently that I think is an incredible resource for survivors and all people. Actually, it's an educational resource and it filled a gap for something I didn't even know that we needed, but clearly it has a purpose in supporting people with resources and lots of information should they experience sexual violence. So let's just get started and jump right in. If you would tell us about the book, we Are the Evidence and why this topic is important to you.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I wrote we Are the Evidence to be a comprehensive and easily accessible resource to those who've experienced sexual violence, their loved ones, potential jury members, anyone who supports sexual assault survivors.

Speaker 2:

And I wrote this after my own sexual assault, looking for a resource and not being able to find again that comprehensive resource and we've come a long way with creating resources for survivors, but still something that has that comprehensive piece to it. It is easily accessible, wasn't there, and I know how important it is to have a resource like this, because I didn't feel able to report or seek therapy or any healing resources after my assault because I couldn't find this. And it wasn't until I found a document that was actually written for attorneys on sexual assault myths that I finally felt empowered to report, go to therapy and put a name to what happened to me, and that document was not something that was available to anyone to read, so it was just really luck that I found it and I realized how important something like this would have been for me if I could have found it right after my assault.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's a pretty powerful experience and I can't imagine being in that situation looking for something and then having the idea that I should provide this for others. I think that's really admirable and I'm glad that you did it, because the book is incredible. I have read it and it has so much information and it's not just a list of resources or what you might think. It's collaborative. There are other people and opinions and information in the book that you wouldn't expect, so we're gonna get into that too. Now it starts out with significant context and explanation about the language we use to describe sexual assault and related situations. I'd love to get an overview of that. Can you give us an overview of those terms and why these become critical when survivors or others in this conversation talk about the experience?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, words have a lot of power and definitions hold a lot of weight. I think when you've experienced a trauma, you go looking for some answers as to what just happened to me, and definitions that are overly limiting can throw you off track, make you feel like you can't report, make you feel like you can't look for resources, and so I talk in the book about how there's definitions that are used in advocacy spaces, and those are kind of the terms that you and I probably use the most. And then there's legal definitions that can be a lot more narrow, and that's if you're reporting, what they're looking at for what that charge might be and how those are different and it's good to know both.

Speaker 2:

So, for example, sexual assault includes groping harassment.

Speaker 2:

It's going to include rape or rape is going to be penetration-specific. So all sexual assault includes rape, but rape does not always include sexual assault, because sexual assault can be a little bit more broad. Harassment is a definition you're going to see a lot more in workplaces and schools. Abuse typically is tailored towards children who have experienced ongoing abuse in a sexual way. And again, I think this matters because when you look at definitions and how they've changed, for a long time the definition was the carnal knowledge of a female, which means that men don't get to be included in that definition, so they don't get to look at the criminal justice process for themselves reporting and they might not feel like they can go to therapy for this specific thing or seek out resources because it's so narrow. And since then that's changed and I like to point that out because one the reason it changed and became more broad is because of the work of advocates and pushing for that change and now more people are able to seek healing and resources and courting if they would like.

Speaker 1:

So give us an example of a changed definition.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. In 1927, the definition by the crime report was the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will. So again that's meaning that men can't say that they experienced sexual assault or rape. It means that a lot of types of sexual assault don't get put under that definition. And then that's been changed over time and currently it is any non-consensual sexual act prescribed by federal, tribal or state law, including when the victim lacks capacity to consent. So again, this is much more broad and does not become gender exclusive. It does not mean that it has to be vaginal penetration in order for it to be raped. So more people can access resources.

Speaker 1:

And the definition that you just gave us. Is that a federal definition or a state's definition? Because I know that they can be like slightly different depending on which state you're living in.

Speaker 2:

That's the US Department of Justice and you're right that it can vary by state. And going to RAINNcom, they have a great page where you can put in your state and see what the statutes are and the different classifications for crimes. That's really helpful.

Speaker 1:

That is a very helpful website. There is a lot of resources on it and for our listeners it's RAINN R-A-I-N-N. Dot O-R-G if they need to get some information there. You mentioned advocacy when you were talking about these terms that we're trying to make clear and just expanding a little bit on vocabulary, because the book does spend a significant amount of time on terms and vocabulary and definitions and who's calling what different things. Why was it really important for you to include that in this conversation? Because, I mean, I realize it sets the table right for discussions, but learning from other survivors was that something that people felt as a survivor? They did not really understand even how to put what happened to them in words.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. One of the biggest questions I get asked when someone reaches out to me is asking if I can help them define what happened to them. They'll say I didn't say no, was it still rape? This happened, but I didn't fight back. Is it still sexual assault?

Speaker 2:

So trying to explain the sexual assault myths and say what sexual assault and rape is is really important, because so many people after trauma are sitting there wondering what just happened.

Speaker 2:

They don't have the definitions and the words to put to it, and I think that helps being able to say what the definitions are, what the myths are.

Speaker 2:

And even if you didn't say no, even if it's a loved one who assaulted you, even if there wasn't a weapon involved, it's still sexual assault. But a lot of people don't know that, and so it is really important to go into that, and I think it's also important to talk about survivor versus victim. People are going to identify differently with different terms, and I want to give people permission to use those words interchangeably with what fits best for them and their experience. But yeah, I think that's a big reason why it was important for me is so many people end up confused, which is natural after experiencing sexual assault and sexual violence as to what happened at them. Explaining what grooming is is important because so many people don't really see what happened to them until afterwards, when they're looking back. And if they don't know those words, if they don't have those terms to help them put together all the pieces of what happened, it just adds to the confusion.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely so. Yeah, I think that was a great idea to include so much information about the terminology. Now, you did mention advocacy and I think that the ever-expanding role of the advocate right, they're doing so much these days to work with survivors. Let's talk about that role and the importance of advocates.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so there's two types of advocates. There's the community or sexual assault advocates. Then there's the advocates that are working with the prosecution team, and part of why it's so important to explain both roles is because I didn't know that there's the two different roles. I kind of lumped them all together under what is like the victim witness advocate role that's working with the prosecution. And a community advocate is someone who's going to be there for you as a survivor and they do not report what you say to them back to the prosecution team or back to law enforcement, unless you're a minor and then they have to as a mandatory reporter. But they're there for you to help you understand the resources available, sit with you and explain to you what a rape kit is, a saint kit and having that done, walking through the process of reporting, and they can be with you throughout that entire process of reporting, the investigation, going to court and be in your corner.

Speaker 2:

And again, they have so many resources available and they know what locally is available to you, which is a huge thing that I like to point out. When people reach out again for resources, I can share some of the big nationwide ones, but if you're looking for those in-person connections, talk to your advocate in your area, whereas a victim witness advocate with the prosecution. What you say to them can be brought back to the prosecution team. They're there to help support you again through the court process, but a lot more of the logistics. So what to wear, what to expect? Answer questions you might have about the ongoing investigation victim compensation they're going to help with that justice piece of it instead of you and your needs regarding yeah, like finding therapy, support groups, resources.

Speaker 1:

So finding your community advocate, how difficult do you think that is?

Speaker 2:

Depends on where you're at. I think of rural areas a lot. I'm from a small town and I think about how hard it is to find some of these resources when you live in a small town. If you call the National Sexual Assault Hotline with RAINN, they can help direct you to an advocate in your area and that's a good place to start. So you can call 800.656-4673. There's also an online chat, which is onlinerainorg.

Speaker 1:

Perfect. So let's narrow in a little bit more on the experiences of sexual assault, because I want to try to understand how the experience of reporting and pursuing justice for these crimes is different for women of color and indigenous women, as opposed to, maybe, white women.

Speaker 2:

I think it's important to remember all the additional barriers that they may face historically and, unfortunately, even currently. There's a lot of distrust with police and with the criminal court system because people of color have not been treated fairly or kindly and have been prosecuted or persecuted against by these systems. And, keeping that in mind, we know that people of color experience higher rates of sexual violence but are reporting at a much lower rate than white people who do, and to me that seems pretty obvious. They don't feel safe. They don't feel safe reporting and they've had to be so intentional about building their community that reporting especially someone who's in their community, where it might bring harm or additional negative consequences to their community, is frightening. So they have a lot more additional barriers and when you look at the generational violence that have been committed to, for example, indigenous people the trail of tears and removing people from their homes and putting them in boarding schools where they experienced high rates of sexual violence and they weren't believed, they weren't supported. If they did report, nothing came out of it, so they've lost trust.

Speaker 2:

I have a couple experts who contribute on these topics and they do a great job doing so, but it's really important to be intentional in creating resources that are culturally sensitive, that are available in the spaces that people are in, and to be able to bring them into the conversations on how to create better resources for them. And there are some additional resources available that I wanted to mention. So the National Organization of Sisters of Color Ending Sexual Assault is a great resource, therapy for Black Girls is a great resource and Strong Hearts Native Hotline.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, those are great examples and those I can tell you. They're all in that book. We Are the Evidence, and there are a lot of personal stories used in the book as well to illustrate what the needs are of, in specific cases, certain types of survivors and how those can be met through the types of resources that you talked about. Now, so often, documentation. In cases of sexual assault, the burden is on the victim. So, as your book title implies, the victim contains a large portion of the evidence of proof that a crime was committed and while it is challenging and that's really putting it very mildly to submit this type of evidence and endure its collection, this process is critical to pursuing justice and potentially preventing future crimes by the perpetrator. Can you lay out the process of documenting a sexual assault and help us understand how the evidence is used?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I do like to point out that I am not a former detective or a detective or a lawyer, so the advice I give is my own, from my own experience and talking to experts in their fields. But when you've been sexually assaulted again, like we talked about at the beginning of the episode, so much of the time you're just confused about what happened and making a decision like reporting going to a victim advocate what happened, and making a decision like reporting going to a victim advocate, going to the hospital, might feel overwhelming, and that's okay. I was a delayed reporter myself. I did not do any of these steps right away. But some things that you can do, whether it's by yourself or again with the support of an advocate, is document everything that happened in a way that'll be time stamped, document who was there, where you were, the times, you remember the details and you can send this in an email because that'll be time-stamped. If it's easier to do like a voice note and email it to yourself or to a safe person, that's another idea. If you're going to not go to the hospital right away, you can take off your clothes and put them in a Ziploc bag or somewhere where they'll be sealed and protected.

Speaker 2:

After sexual violence you feel dirty because your body is the crime scene and it's very tempting and you want to shower and scrub yourself clean. If you've already done that and you're listening to that, that's perfectly okay. You have not ruined your chances to report or have a rape kit done. That's okay. But if you can hold off because you think you might want to report, that is helpful for DNA collection. Trying to avoid to go to the bathroom if you're going to have a rape kit done can be helpful. But again, many people don't realize they've been sexually assaulted until later. So if you've done these things, it's okay. You can still go in and have a rape kit done, depending on the state you're in a couple days to even 10 days, I think in Minnesota is what it is you can still go in and have some DNA potentially collected. You can still go in and be tested for STIs, physical injuries have those examined and looked at.

Speaker 2:

If you have a rape kit done, it does not mean that you're reporting. It just means that the DNA has been collected and stored. You can choose to report, but that way it's there. From there you can also to report, but that way it's there. From there you can also talk to again the victim advocate and choose to make a report later.

Speaker 1:

So you made an important point there. At the end, even though you do the rape kit and you go through that whole process, that doesn't mean you've reported the crime. What is the next step that would need to be taken there?

Speaker 2:

If you want to report, you can, and then you can tell them that you had a rape kit done.

Speaker 1:

And when you say report, that means contacting law enforcement, correct?

Speaker 2:

Correct. Okay, so those are two separate processes. You can report without having a rape kit done. You can have a rape kit done without reporting. Those are two different processes. One just collects the DNA, so if you get to court they can use that there.

Speaker 1:

Got it.

Speaker 2:

That's an important place for having a victim like a community advocate is so helpful because they can be there with you and it's important to remember that you can say no to any part of that process of having a rape kit done. For example, if you want to go in and you don't want any of like a pelvic exam done at all, you can say no. You can say yes just to parts of it and say no to other parts If you don't feel ready you can ask for a break.

Speaker 2:

This is a place where you get to take some power and control back, and having a safe person there with you can make a really big difference.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. You included some ideas in the book that, to me, make it not just a handbook but more of a trauma-informed one at that. So, for instance, you point out in the book that in most cases, survivors have options, as you just were talking about. They have options, and you also included thoughts from survivors about their experiences and reactions to them, and you built in pauses throughout the book with prompts for mindful check-ins. So, while I can understand the value of all of these inclusions, I'm curious why it was important to you to offer them in this resource.

Speaker 2:

One thing I learned in this process is that I had my experience, but I'm not an expert in everything related to sexual assault and every survivor has a different, unique experience and their healing's different, and I wanted to highlight that I didn't want the reader to feel like my experience. If it didn't look like their experience, they couldn't use it. So it's important to me to have the validation and support of other survivors through their quotes, their thoughts, their stories, but also to have that marked very clearly. So if the reader doesn't want to read those sections because it's triggering, they can skip over it. I know personally after my assault, reading memoirs was not something I could do because it's triggering. They can skip over it.

Speaker 2:

I know personally after my assault, reading memoirs was not something I could do because it was too upsetting. So I wanted the reader to be able to get the educational information out of the book and supplement it with the validation of the survivor's quotes, without feeling forced or tricked into reading those if they didn't want to. But there's so, so much insight from other survivors and, again, I didn't talk to any survivors after my assault, but hearing all of the thoughts from other people on why they did report, why they didn't report what worked for them with healing, what didn't work. I'm hoping it can provide support and validation to the reader as to whatever their healing process is looking like. It's okay, it's okay. And then the mindful check-ins at the end of each chapter was important to me because, again, when I was trying to gather all the information about reporting and what going to court would be like, I kind of read through everything and I didn't really take into consideration my own mental health. I didn't take pauses to check in with myself.

Speaker 2:

And I wanted to encourage the reader to do that. This isn't a sprint, this is very much a marathon healing from sexual trauma, so that was a big part of it. It was again trying to help remind them to take care of themselves, to breathe through this. I tried to have little homework-like prompts, almost to take down notes as they go through on what applies and what doesn't.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, really important points. And the other thing I really like about this guide book is that I can pick it up in any part of the book and just start learning from that point, so I don't need to read it cover to cover in one sitting all the way straight through. You can stop and start and find places in the book, just to pick it up and open it up and read it from any point forward. That's meaningful for you. You also talk about in the work and in conversations you and I have had about restorative justice, and I'd like to talk about restorative justice and maybe you can give us an overview of what survivors can expect as they move through the judicial process.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely, and I'm very fortunate to have experts who contribute in detail on what the investigation process is looking like or reporting or going to court. So I recommend those sections too. But one of the hardest things about the criminal justice process is the lack of control. You feel as the victim of the crime when you make that report. Ultimately, the case then becomes that of the states and you are a witness to that crime. It's not your case and that feels really hard, because sexual violence and trauma is about control and not feeling a sense of control of anything, including your own body, and so that can be really re-traumatizing.

Speaker 2:

I still think that it's worth pursuing if it feels right to you. Just have a strong support team behind you. But that piece of not feeling in control of it is really hard. So when you make the initial call-in, they'll take down the immediate information. They'll make sure you have a safety plan and that you're safe. You'll then have your report handed to a detective who will do a more thorough interview with you. This is another place where that victim advocate can be with you if you'd like to help provide support, and then from there the investigation begins. That can take a wide range of time, which again is hard, because you're probably not getting updates, frequent updates, on what's happening.

Speaker 1:

So you're kind of left wondering.

Speaker 2:

I know for me I was really fortunate that my detective did keep me more involved and did give me like check-ins to make sure I was doing okay. But they don't have to do that.

Speaker 1:

Right, and it can be an extremely long process, depending on the circumstances of each case.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that part's really hard and I was like for myself what the hardest part was is after it was brought to prosecution they decided to take it to court.

Speaker 2:

That wait, because I think that was over a year and the trial would get pushed back for various reasons, and that part was really hard.

Speaker 2:

Restorative and transformative justice is a process where you're working outside of the criminal court system with a facilitator the perpetrator, the person who caused you harm, is there, and then typically some community members. It depends on the circle or process format they can vary, but where you have a conversation all together about the harm that was caused, what happened that led to that person causing the harm, and then the impacts it has on the community and trying to create like an accountability plan. And it's not gonna be appropriate for everyone, but just even having that option I think for survivors would be so helpful, because so many people feel like the only sense of justice that they can have is by going through the criminal court system and in reality, very few people who go through the criminal court system end up walking away with any sense of procedural justice, whereas restorative justice the idea is to be able to have that conversation around accountability and heal and and be able to move forward. So I'm excited about those conversations that are happening trying to make it more available for sexual assault survivors.

Speaker 1:

How does one request that type of conversation?

Speaker 2:

It depends on where you're at because, like I said, it's not available everywhere. So here in like I'm in the metro area of Minnesota, it's not available for sexual assault survivors but they're working to make it available for them and by knowing Canada, they've been having a lot more success with making it available. So it's going to vary where you're at, but talking to your sexual assault advocate again is a really good place to see if that's available and just start that conversation.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would think talking to your elected officials may be a good place to go as well and tell them that it's important to you. Yeah, maybe do some education around what it actually is and how it would benefit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's more organizations speaking out for this and trying to make it available, which is really great to see.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's amazing. I'm looking forward to meeting you in person in May at the conference on crimes against women. Because you're a presenter. Is this your first time presenting at the conference?

Speaker 2:

It is. I'm looking forward to it.

Speaker 1:

How exciting. Tell us what you're going to be talking about in your workshop.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I'm presenting with Justin Boardman, who contributed to the book as well.

Speaker 2:

He's a retired detective, but we are presenting on how we can help keep survivors engaged in the process as they're getting ready to go to court, while also giving them a better sense of procedural justice and supporting the people who are working in systems to avoid burnout. And we're trying to help people think outside the box on how they can do this. And we have again some of the experts from the book sharing some information for the presentation. For example, angela Goins is a registered dietitian who is focusing on how trauma impacts our relationship with food and for many survivors, eating disorders go hand in hand with healing from trauma, because we have control over our food and what we're putting in our body. So if we can help give them the tools to have a better nutritional knowledge, they're going to be better set up to stay engaged throughout the process of getting ready for court and then feel more prepared to go to court, and that can help them have that sense of procedural justice, feel supported throughout that process.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's an interesting example because it does a lot of things. I mean, proper nutrition really does help to reduce some of your trauma symptoms, and it also just the process of learning how to eat and what to eat and preparing food and so on can be very empowering. And I love the idea and this is kind of woven throughout the book too of taking some baby steps, if you will, little steps that add up to bigger change or, you know, to achieving a goal that you want, because maybe one day it looks like just being able to make your own food choices is really empowering, and then the next day you need to call your elected officials right. So small things can truly add up and they certainly do in your life and in the work that you've done to put this book together and now get to this presentation. Let's give people your website and social media handles so they can learn more and maybe get in touch.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. The website is wearetheevidencecom and on the social media you can find me as wearetheevidence on Instagram TikTok on Instagram, tiktok. On LinkedIn, it's just Cheyenne Wilson and I'm happy to connect with people there, and then the book is available. Wherever you like to purchase your books, I always recommend trying to support your local bookseller. I think that's really important. Yes, and then I try to encourage people to call their local library. Make sure they have a copy available as well. So many people, unfortunately, are experiencing sexual violence at home and bringing a book like this home is not an option. But the library can be a safe place where they can go and, like you said, pick up the book, go to the section that they need and then set it down and come back to it later, without again bringing it home, where it might be dangerous to do so.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's excellent advice, cheyenne. I really enjoyed reading the book and learning more about your work, and I look forward to seeing you in a few months.

Speaker 2:

I do too. Thank you again for having me.

Speaker 1:

Genesis Women's Shelter and Support exists to give women in abusive situations a way out. We are committed to our mission of providing safety, shelter and support for women and children who have experienced domestic violence and to raise awareness regarding its cause, prevalence and impact. Join us in creating a societal shift on how people think about domestic violence. You can learn more at GenesisShelterorg and when you follow us on social media on Facebook and Instagram at Genesis Women's Shelter, and on X at Genesis Shelter. The Genesis Helpline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by call or text at 214-946-HELP 214-946-4357.